The Roaring Tiger with Them and When They Might Play Next

Player Injury Update Disclaimer:

Everything written in this newsletter is entirely fictitious and is in 12 April 2003 Unfortunately, injuries are a part of playing EASTER EDITION no way meant to represent the actual views, beliefs or abilities, per- football and the Tigers have had a pretty ordi- Volume 1, Issue 4 nary start to the year in this area. The follow- ceived or otherwise, of those people mentioned in the newsletter. ing is a list of injured players, what’s wrong This newsletter is not an officially sanctioned newsletter of the Nhill The Roaring Tiger with them and when they might play next. Football Club Inc. and in no way reflects the views or beliefs of the club’s administration or members. The Unofficial Newsletter of the Nhill Football Team Tom Rowe: Broken arm, 6 to 8 weeks Andrew Rowe: SARS virus?, a week Contributions Welcome Pullet Deal Off But Talk of Bric-a-Brac Benn Pola: Knee, further tests today Readers who want to contribute something to this rag can do so by forwarding their work to New Employee’s Possible Link to Terrorism Adam Sands: Hamstring. Back after Easter the editor. Anything will be accepted. Aaron Wilkins: Hamstring strain. Test Tempers flared in the few days. There’s good wide terrorist group Al- READER POLL Roaring Tiger newsroom Quaida. “I don’t know for Bob Hatfield: Knee, few more weeks yet money in bric-a-brac”, he Brain Teaser: Johnny Muller has never this week as the much added. sure but it’s possible that Kempy: sore knees, never awaited 12 laying pullet ad- this man is in fact Moham- looked this good at the start But the editor of The Roar- Dusty: corked thigh and sore ear, okay Nhill Seniors have 21 players in vertising deal fell through. med Al-Brecht”, said ing Tiger was not happy of a season? Liney. “They say he went Doddsy: sore ankle, okay the team. If only 2 players are on When asked about what when told of the news. away to Queensland for a the bench and no player is in the Agree: 55% happened, new head of ad- “Look, we got this bloke T Gebert: old age, okay while but I think you’ll find vertising and marketing, across mainly because of sheds, then how many players Disagree: 10% he really went to Pakistan Killer Jones: Leg, a fair while probably Above: The calcula- Trevor “Space” Albrecht, how well he talked up the must still be on the ground? for a stint of terrorist train- tor: A device to help Who’s Johnny Muller? 35% casually replied that they’d pullet deal. Now that it’s ing”. Last week’s answer: T-Bone has a with adding up num- already been sold. fallen over we’re a bit Roaring Tiger’s editor said shot at goals, of course. bers of things, for ex- “It appears there’s a lot of sceptical about the bric-a- he didn’t really care what ample, players. untapped demand for laying brac. We’ll give him an- pullets in this area. They other chance but it might Space’s real name was or Skill Tip Easter Goodwill Pub- went like hot cakes”, said be his last”, said the editor. what he did in his spare time, as long as he landed With Bezza Space. “I’m not too wor- The news came amid un- licity Stunt Ends In Tigers Look For Other Ways to Raise Money the bric-a-brac deal. Tragedy One of your most ef- ried because there’ll be confirmed reports that fective weapons as a more where they came Albrecht may have a shady “Anyway, we simply didn’t No country football than I’ve been talking track. We’ll make footballer is how from. Anyway, I’m about background. have time to do a full back- Tiger officials were in shock yes- team can operate with- to Melbourne big millions! 90% sure of getting an ad ground check. We needed terday after an Easter promotional hard you can bump Club stalwart Daryl for a very large quantity of someone in the job straight event involving Tiger mascot out the tireless efforts events guru, Ron And we won’t be stop- into opposition play- Leyonhjelm has revealed bric-a-brac from out away, so we took him”, Puss and a rabbit ended in trag- of supporters and play- Walker. It’s no secret ers. If you can dish that Space may in fact be ping at car racing ei- Winiam way in the next said the editor. edy. ers in raising money. that the Formula 1 or- ther. I’ve got my eye out a few early hips an ex-member of world-

Stump picking, raffles, ganisers aren’t happy on the next Olympics and shoulders then “We organised a show to promote with the Albert Park not only might you football and Easter together by player auctions, nearly and after that, the track down there. Seniors Get Done By Minyip-Murtoa letting kids come and look at Puss everything has been world. Yes, the world really hurt whoever and also this pet “Easter” rabbit tried in a bid to get that They want somewhere will be mine, all mine you hit but it will also In hot conditions Nhill’s when you get jumped on a fast. “A bloke has to eat”, put the frighteners on we borrowed for the day”, said extra bit of money to new. And I think I can cackled Smith. “Ha seniors battled hard after 30 degree day it’s always said Croke. “Maybe they Tony Gebert, Club secretary. the rest of their team. help run the club. help them”, he said. ha ha, aha ha ha ha, being jumped in the first going to be difficult to win could eat a bit more carbohy- A good way to prac- quarter last week. But their if the opposition plays drate type foods but it wasn’t “Everything was going swell and Club president Chris “Look at Davis Park. ha, ha, ha….” tice your bumping efforts were not enough to smart, which they did. the reason we lost”. the kids were having a great time. Smith thinks he may It’s virtually got a track ability is to run full get across the line when the Queries were raised over the “But I am a bit worried about Unfortunately, right before we have found a way to around it already. final siren sounded. were about to wind things up Puss Sure, we’ll have to speed at a drinks ta- players diets after it was re- what some of these players end the constant battle “It sucks”, said one player. vealed that many of the will do at Easter time with all broke out of his cage and got hold knock the speed humps ble and crash into it of the rabbit. It wasn’t a pretty fought by clubs like the side on. The wood “We really should beat players gorged themselves the chocolate that’ll be on out and maybe turn the sight. Puss seemed pretty hungry. Tigers to keep the and metal of the ta- sides like them but to their on a large breakfast of eggs offer. Hopefully they’ll grand stand around, but wolves from the door. ble will toughen you credit they played some and bacon at the Commer- show restraint otherwise we We haven’t broken the news to otherwise it’s a ready good football and seemed to cial Hotel on Saturday may have to bring in the di- “I can’t say too much up, but make sure the rabbit’s owner yet. We just made world class race Above: Chris’s Dream you have a drink be- have a good bit of pace morning. eticians from West Wimmera don’t know what to say”. yet”, said Smith, “other fore you practice. around the ground.” Coach Croke was not too Health Service for some Nhill’s skills were okay but concerned about the break- help”, said Crokey. The Roaring Tiger Volume 1, Issue 4 The Roaring Tiger Volume 1, Issue 4 The Unofficial Newsletter of the Nhill Football Team The Unofficial Newsletter of the Nhill Football Team Page 3 Page 2 On The Couch with Luke Oldaker Gerschy Bows Dimboola Suspected of Road Shenanigans to Reader RT: Welcome to RT Luke with it all to be honest. worried about going under the knife? Pressure In what may be the first ber of the Dimboola pretty inconvenient for SEARCH-A-WORD LO: Thanks RT, it’s great to RT: Your manager, Dan BH: No, not at all, I’ve had an op ever case of Wimmera Football Club hierarchy our blokes to go by an- In a clear indication be here. Conway, has said it’s disas- before. Football League espio- impersonating a road other route so they may X Z R L O trous as Crokey had you of how much re- RT: Do you mind if we re- RT: When will you be back playing? spect people have nage, Tigers manage- worker. have identified a poten- T Z X V P earmarked for big things up for the Roaring Ti- ment believes there may tial “weakness” which D I A L O fer to you from now on as BH: Dan reckons about mid May, “I have heard about this forward and you were as fit ger, Craig Gersch I N G N X Bob Hatfield? but I don’t know if he really has any be more to the road- they’re trying to exploit”. as you’ve ever been. has once again before, up Wagga way”, K X F E Y works between Nhill LO: No, that’s fine. Would you agree? idea about it. come out of retire- said Crokey. “I remem- All I can say is that our O T R S R and Dimboola than just RT: Okay. Well, your inju- BH: Well, sort of, but you RT: You like a beer and pie just as ment. ber this mob who used blokes should think about N H I L L routine road mainte- ries this year have been well have to remember I’m also much as anyone, will you be watch- “I saw that Reader contacts in the local leaving half an hour ear- Poll the other nance. documented, are you start- Dan’s manager and I would ing what you eat while you’re off the shire to put up fake road lier on Saturday”. week”, explained Can you see the word ing to get annoyed by it all? have advised him against track? Coach Croke has specu- works to prevent oppo- “Tiger”? If you can then Gersch, “how could Right: Legiti- BH: Yeh, I was pretty shat- saying anything like that. BH: No, not at all. lated that the man hold- sition players getting to what do you want? A I disappoint the mate road lolly- tered to do my knee this He’s only new to this 97% of readers who ing the stop/go lollypop a game on time. I medal? RT: Bob, I think I speak for every- pop man or Roos time. And then to be in the game. reckoned I should sign on the Western wouldn’t put it past the one when I say good luck with the impostor? bar and have my chair RT: We understand you’re play on? Give me Highway near Lochiel Dimmy boys to try op and we hope to see you back on kicked out from underneath going to have an operation that long sleeve no. the track real soon. 26 jumper and get may in fact be a mem- something like this. It’s me, that really hurt the on the knee, are you a bit outta the way”, knee. So I’m pretty pissed BH: No worries, thanks RT. Player profile: Daniel Conway roared Gersch. SOCIAL ALERT Player Forced to Deny He Had “A Thousand” Beers Nickname: Dan, Stan Don’t miss this one folks With increased tension at won’t name, asked me if I or ten beers and a couple We’ve agreed to put in Age: 26 the Club during the week had a big night on Satur- of Jim Beam cans over and buy a thousand beers Celebrity Look-a-Like Position: Ruck after losing to underdogs day. I said “yes, I must several hours. Not that for him to have a go at on Night. Minyip-Murtoa, a player have had a thousand much but enough to say Thursday night after train- Favourite food: Spag Bol has had to defend claims beers”. Well this player you’ve had quite a bit to ing. If he can drink them Favourite drink: VB Saturday 26 April 2003 that he bragged about how thought I meant it liter- drink”, Dodds tried to ex- then we’ll lay off. Other- ally. Of course I was only plain. wise he’s got a bit more Favourite movie: Star Wars Trilogy much he could drink. Straight after we beat exaggerating to make the explaining to do”, said “Look, it’s all a bit of a But several team-mates Favourite music: Midnight Oil Warracknabeal. point that I did have a few one disgruntled player. storm in a tea cup really”, were not happy with his drinks that night. Well Best player played with: Chris Johnson (Plays with said recycled Centre Half response. “If he thinks “I tried telling them that At the Clubrooms more than “a few” but cer- Brisbane now) Back, Ritchie Dodds. he’s such a big-time I’d sooner run a mile than tainly not “a thousand”. “Another player, who I drinker then let’s find out. try and drink a thousand What do you enjoy Coach Almost Reads You know, say maybe 8 beers, but then they most about football: Drinking Roaring Tiger to started going on about Players Before Game Sonny Money - Present this copy of The Roaring Tiger at the Front whether I had my running Biggest thrill from footy: Winning Craigieburn B& F Senior players were almost Bar of the Commercial Hotel Nhill on Saturday night after the Dimboola gear with me”, said an an- Biggest disappointment: Losing 3 Grand Finals treated to a reading by Coach match and receive one free pot of beer or soft drink after 9pm. noyed Dodds. How do you prepare for a Croke from the last edition of the Roaring Tiger. Trivia Question: game?: Get up after 10am and eat egg and In his pre-match address bacon on toast Crokey went to pull out the Can you remember the name of Hobbies: Basketball, Tennis & Hunting team sheet but he mistakenly the major motion picture named got hold of his copy of RT. Favourite TV show: Home & Away Who knows, a few lines from after Dimboola? Any goals for this year: Win the Best & Fairest at Nhill the Tigers magazine might Boot type and size: Asics Size 11 have stopped us getting jumped early by Minyip- Murtoa.