Friday 26th October Do You Know This Man?

Cut Up

Bolt cutters were used to break through a padlock that secured a locker last Wednesday afternoon. The locker, on Level 1 in the Mechanical Engineering Department, contained a cheque book, cheque card, watch and a diary. Earlier that afternoon a Chinese student had borrowed a set of bolt cutters from the stores in the basement of the building. The cutters were issued from the stores without a request for identification and without a signature being obtained. Realising that bolt cutters, Video cameras caught the man pictured been taken from his jacket. These were or similar equipment, must have been the above after he attempted to cash a stolen not discovered to be missing until six that method of entry, Neil Steer, the owner of cheque in the South Kensington branch of evening. the stolen items, tried to borrow some Thomas Cook. Dr. Nicholson warned that there had and was able to get them out without The chequebook and card had been been a number of other thefts from the getting questioned. stolen earlier that morning, on the 9th upper floors of Chemistry and Physics Security tried matching the cut marks October, from Dr. Nicholson of the and added that his office was 'out of the on the padlock with those of the cutters Chemistry Department. Dr. Nicholson told way' on the eighth floor. He said that found in the possesion of cycle thieves FELIX that he had seen the photographs anybody seen wandering about was last week, but this proved negative. Terry but did not recognise the man involved. usually assumed to be lost and would be Briley, College Security Officer, said that He said that the chequebook had been stopped. At the time of the theft, Dr. they are very interested in talking to the taken from his briefcase and that other Nicholson was teaching and the two student who borrowed the bolt cutters on items such as credit cards, driving licence research students normally resident in his Wednesday afternoon. and a billfold containing some money had office had left for the library.

ID Checks Justified Rag Raid

The recent identity checks in Southside the college, and that no-one was asked to The Rag raid to Guildford on Wednesday bar have been justified by Mr Roger leave last week but this might become a raised a total of £185.03. The largest Pownall, Bars Manager, as they 'protect possibility. He said that members of the amount, £57, was raised by Pete Bowen. students'. college are requested to carry This Saturday there will be a collection in He said that 'there are a lot of people identification at all times - students should Covent Garden for the World Wildlife who should not be in the bar and we carry their Union cards. Fund. must comply with the licensing laws'. He Mr Pownall said that they might stressed that Southside bar was not a consider issueing identity cards or badges student bar but one for all people with a to Bar staff so that the challenged connection with the college. customers know why they are being He added that the most of the trouble asked to provide identity. Imperial College makers in the bar were people outside Friends of Palestine Society would like to invite you to a lecture entitled: THE U.N. AND THE RCS Election PALESTINIAN PROBLEM' by Dr Afif Safieh Suzanne Ahmet has been elected as the This was due to a delay in college (the new PLO representative in London) president of the Royal College of Science administration which was later deemed Union (RCSU). She won by two votes, the not to affect the election. Thursday November 1 results being 106 votes for her, 104 for Although Suzanne will be studying 12.45pm James Bryant, 13 abstentions and 20 Materials she has studied Physics for two spoilt papers. years and is thus a full member of RCSU. Civil Eng. LT201 There had been some controversy Chas Randies, last year's VP for the All studen ts and members of staff surrounding her eligibility to stand for the RCSU, said 'It's nice to have a president'. welcome. BRING YOUR UNION CARDS. Students without Union Cards will not position since she had not registered on a When she received the president's be admitted course when the elections took place. gown, Suzanne said 'I..' and fainted. Strategy Consulting at McKinsey & Company

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McKinsey &Company Union Gig Stagedives

Last Saturday's disco lost the Union an but 'to go ahead would piss off Northey'. cover costs. estimated £5500 due to a poor turnout. It A decision on the event was postponed Murray Williamson said that flyers were was originally intended that the gig was until Wednesday lunchtime, a week and a handed out at the ULU all nighter and to be held in the Careers Fair marquee half before the gig. This was, in Murray's inside college throughout the rest of the rather than the Concert hall and was words 'a day and a half wasted'. week. Before the event, however, only intended to cover the loss expected of In the meantime the support band Nine 150 tickets had been sold and so the the Fair. Murray Williamson, Union Hon Below Zero had gone down badly at price was reduced to £2 on the door. This Sec, said 'In the end we wouldn't have Middlesex Polytechnic and had walked off was not advertised widely. had to stage the event anyway as the stage early. They are currently being At the event, ticket inspection was Careers Fair made a profit'. He added sued by Mandy Hurford, their General hampered by the fact that access to the that the event seemed 'quite a wacky Manager. She will become Imperial main toilets was required due to the idea'. College Union Manager on the 6th Union Bar's toilets being broken. Tickets Murray Williamson said that the event November. had to be collected on the staircase which had been proposed by David Ensell, the Although the contracts with both bands meant that many of the 350 people who Careers Fair Manager, and Rob Northey, were verbal, Dr. And the Medics had sent finally attended got in free. Refectories manager, at the end of a contract to be signed whereas Nine Murray Williamson said that the money August. He said that David had assured Below Zero had not. The support band lost will come from Union funds rather him that the marquee was available for therefore have no obligation to the Union than from Ents. He added that the exact two weeks and added that Mr Northey who cannot sue. source of the money will be discussed at had agreed to the project going ahead. Publicity for the gig was produced only the next Union Finance Committee (UFC). Mr Northey had requested an early five days before the event reading 'plus He also said that to stage the event in application for a bar extension but this support band'. A new support band, the the marquee would have required extra was not produced by Murray until two Phantom Chords, had been found by this emergency lighting and fire doors as the weeks before the event was due. He was time and so stickers advertising the new marquee was 'effectively pretty unsafe'. then informed by refectories that the band had to be affixed. When this was He stressed that since Mr Northey had Main Dining Hall had already been attempted on the Wednesday before the given him permission to stage the event booked for another event and so was not gig, it was found by Murray that not he had assumed that higher management available to house a bar. many posters had been put up around had been informed. He said 'It's not our At this point the PA system had been college although Ents had put up posters fault it didn't go all the way to the top' ordered as well as the bands, the stage in other London colleges. The new and 'It wasn't our communications that and the lighting. Murray said that to stickers advertised a drop in price from broke down'. cancel the event would have cost £4000 £7 to £5. This was still calculated to

Grants Giveaway Security If you're dithering about of getting a railcard, buy it before the 10th of This month's Research Grant Stakes November. British Rail are offering an trophy goes to Professor D J Ewins of extra three months on railcards bought Worries Mechanical Engineering who has before this date, which means reductions managed to extract a staggering £1 505 of up to one third off train fairs for fifteen 000 over five years from Rolls-Royce pic months. The cards cost £16 and are for the Vibration Technology Centre. available for students aged between Mr Geoff Reeves, Chief security officer The 'Free market economy Booby sixteen and twenty three, leaflets at IC, warned of a walk- in thief who has Prize' is presented this month to the available at main BR stations and Rail been seen in the Chemistry building. He Science and Engineering Research Council Appointed Travel Agents. is described as having a black leather (SERC) who have given £500 over five jacket with blue jeans and about 5' 8" months to Dr D J N Limbeer of Electrical tall. He had grey hair and was probably Engineering for the enigmatically titled about 40 years old. 'Visiting Fellowship: Professor U Shaked.' The cycle D locks on sale from the Stolen Security office now cost £20.50. Mr Reeves said that he could no longer manage to keep the price down, though The plaque on the entrance to the it was still at cost price. He said that Management school has been stolen, cheaper makes can often be beaten. The probably a few weeks ago, according to type they sell is safer and of an American Loose Ends Mrs E. Percival, the school Administrator. make, he said. The plaque was worth 'several He added that a man was to be hundreds of pounds' she said, and a charged with possession of lock breaking replacement would be funded out of the 'Loose Ends on the Theory of equipment in connection with the recent school's current budget. The present Everything' will be tied up by Dr N bike thefts. More such thefts have been replacement is printed on paper. Mrs Linden of Cambridge University on reported this week. Percival said the next plaque should be in October 31st. The lecture will be held in place within a month, and should be of a Physics lecture theatre 1 at 1.15 pm. different design from the original. FINANCIAL AND BUSINESS CONSULTANCY

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ARTHUR ANDERSEN etsy's Wedding

This film can best be described as a good attempt at staged havoc, with everything that can go wrong doing so and finally ending up with everybody living happily ever after. The ending's the same, the rest of the film is a bit of disappointment. Written by, and staring, Alan Alda (Hawkeye from M*A*S*H) who plays Betsy's father Eddie Hopper, things start with a lot of promise. The acting is fine with Stevie Dee (Anthony LaPaglia) playing the part of a silk tongued gangster particularly well. Unfortunately the humour is a little contrived although when the afformentioned Stevie Dee tries, with the utmost respect, to ask Eddie's older daughter out for dinner things do pick up greatly. She is, after all, a police officer! Another problem is that the main theme is lost amongst the myriad of sub- plots. This means it is very hard to get involved with the problems that the young couple encounter, the conflicting have. more life to create the result I think they wishes of both sets of parents over Not a bad film, certainly reasonably were after. everything, down to what sort of nut to good entertainment but it needed a little Ian Hodge. A Shock to the System Everyone wants to kill someone upon himself the role of wizard, fixing all sometime, don't they? Now, imagine you that lies in his way. He even takes on a have an annoying, nagging wife. Imagine young, attractive and female (ie sexy, an obnoxious yuppie has just been available and not to bothered about grey promoted over your head, and is hair and wrinkles) apprentice who slowly stripping you of your power. Imagine begins to suspect that all is not as it you've just pushed a tramp under a seems. subway train, and got away with it... A sinister tale of office and (basic) This is the position Graham Marshall sexual politics. A classy thriller. Michael As the end draws nigh, the cop draws (Michael Caine, soon to be seen with Caine looking more evil than I have ever near and the girlfriend draws a lighter Roger Moore in Bullseye - not a lot of seen him before. The plot is not complex, out of an envelope, the audience are on people know that) finds himself in not but it has a certain relentlessness to it the edge of their proverbial seats. The long after receiving an electric shock (to that keeps one enthralled. The excellent ending is good, satisfactory, chilling and the system?). It occurs to him that a playing by the whole cast helps lift it unrevealed here. The film is good, couple of convenient accidents might from the dangerous abyss of TV exciting, chilling and recommended here. make his life a lot simpler. Soon he takes moviedom. Adam T. Mo' Better Blues Mo Better Blues is Spike Lee's fourth saxophone to the sadness and ultimate a talented trumpet player. feature film and like his other 'Joints' the tragedy of their personal lives. No this is Mo Better Blues has all the hallmarks of basis remains in the portrayal of Afro- a hip, stylised jazz where the only thing a Lee film, the fast witty dialogue, American culture in modern American shrouding the players' virtuosity is the cut characters centre screen addressing the society. Whereas in his previous and most of their suits. camera directly, the unusual camera widely acclaimed film Do The Right The film is centred around Bleak angles, and because this time Lee had Thing Lee focused on racial tensions, in Gilliam (played superbly by Denzel money to play with (he is a sound Brooklyn Mo Better Blues returns to the Washington), a self-centred, intense jazz investment, assured to rake large returns scenario of relationships as in his first film trumpet player. A rising star whose at the box office) there is a lush feel and She's Gotta Have It. egotism and misplaced confidence in the visual quality about the film afforded by The thematic principles are the same, control and dominance of people in his fine set designs and subtle lighting. but the backdrop to this film is neither life (namely his band, his lovers and With Mo Better Blues Spike Lee extends racialism, rivalry or sexual indecision but manager) contrive to be his downfall and his reputation as being one of the most jazz. This is not the jazz of Eastwood's saviour. important contemporary film makers and Bird or Round Midnight. This is not the The musical score is excellent, is indeed a love supreme. (Try to avoid sleepy 50s nightclubs where the talent of composed by Lee's father Bill, himself an seeing Mo Better Blues at a Cannon the players concerned (Charlie Parker and accomplished jazz bassist (who has a cinema as they don't give a student Bud Powell respectively) is shrouded in a cameo role as Indigo's father) and played discount even at the first showing.) haze of drugs and alcohol, in which the by the Branford Marsalis Quartet, friends Jimmy Rimmer. genius of the musicians plays second of Lee whose brother Wynton Marsalis is 6 GoodFellas The Little REVIEWS Mermaid

This film is nicer than Felicity Kendal with a plate chock full of Bakewell tarts. It tells a tale of piscine love with a few The Mafia is an element of Italian- relationships between the pure Italians songs thrown in for good measure. Ariel, American culture that has an undeniable and the wiseguys of mixed blood are the little mermaid, is fascinated by fascination to the filmakers of Hollywood. examined, as are the wiseguys' humanity and has amassed a larger Surprising, though, to see a director of relationships with the local community collection of consumer durables than the calibre of Martin Scorsese taking on and the police. Argos (the shop, not the ship). She longs the subject. Scorsese, responsible for The cast is good, and big. Robert De to see humans, even though this is not movies like Raging Bull, Colour of Money, Niro is, as ever, superb in the role James the done thing, and of course she decides Taxi Driver and the, shall we say, Conway one of the wiseguys who rises to to investigate a passing Sealink. Naturally controversial Last Temptation Of Christ, power with Hill. His portrayal of the she goes and falls in love with a tall, has chosen to adapt a book written from ruthless man who slowly descends into handsome, heterosexual, clean living, a series of interviews with ex-mobster paranoia is masterly. Also good is upright pillar of society, who by true Henry Hill, now on the Federal Witness Lorraine Bracco as Karen Hill, the girl Disney standards is also a prince. Well, Program. who is at once turned on and appalled by she is now obsessed with this forbidden The result is a fascinating, un-glamorous her husband's activities. The marriage passion (sounds like 9V2 Weeks) to the portrait of how the Mafia (or goodfellas sequence has to be one of the most extent that she goes and does A Foolish or wiseguys, as they call themselves) bizarre in the movie. Thing. really work. We are lead through the life To call this a thriller would be wrong, At this point there enters a catalyst in of Henry from his early days skipping but it has elements of that genre. To call the ointment, in the betentacled form of school to run errands for Paul Cicerone, it a comedy would also be wrong. It is a Ursula (The Sea Witch! boo hiss) who to his eventual fall at the hands of film that totally defies any sort of offers Ariel a part-exchange deal: One Narcotic agents. In between we have the categorising except one - good. By far the spanking new pair of Reebok leggies laughs and murders, wives and best movie on general release at the (female thankfully) for a down payment mistresses, heists and dinners that make moment, this really is a worth a chunk of of a Dulcet Singing Voice in good repair. up his life. your grant. This is a Fatal Error but we're not going The insights we get are fascinating. The Pendragon. to tell you why (HA! HA! Go watch the film!) and proves to be Ariel's undoing. Against the best advice of her companions, Flounder (a blue and yellow beachball fish) and Sebastian (a Carib Judge Dredd Megazine crab with a yen for composition) she goes for the prize and hits the wooden spoon Within six days of its release this new because the city is Mega City 1) go for a with such force that she is incapable of graphic magazine had sold 40,000 copies. far wider view than just Dredd himself. saying anything for most of the rest of This is not too surprising because Judge Currently only one story follows his the film. Dredd is Britain's most popular comic exploits while the others follow related This being a true Disney mermaid film, character appearing weekly in 2000AD characters. Chapper is back, after a the tragic ending of the original Hans and daily in the Star newspaper. number of stories in 2000AD, in a Christian Andersen story (dying, turning Set in a future where overpopulation dubious story about corporate revenge, to stone/cloud, generally not getting the calls for overcrowded cities of tower Judge Death is also back giving an insight guy anyway) is neatly diverted to good blocks, with mass unemployment and few into his past and Kenny Who? is back family viewing. (Can any readers releases for all the pent up tensions. although I have no idea why. Possibly the remember the actual ending to The Little Many citizens turn to crime which calls most interesting story is America which Mermaid Mkl? Answers on a postcard to for a police system which can dispense tells of a Mega City 1 citizen who FELIX please). instant justice. Trained from the age of questions the judges right to hold The animation is as usual beyond five, judges are empowered to apprehend, complete control without democracy. compare; the story is more pleasant than try and sentence on the spot. Dredd is Anyone who has read an issue may note Felicity Kendal and Richard Briers put the best judge (even though he's getting that I missed Mega City Newspaper. This together and also reduces the effective old) and stories tend to follow his is quite intentional. Overall the Megazine age of the viewer by a factor of three. Be adventures through the weird and is pretty good but there is a lot of room prepared to hiss, boo and chear at wonderful city of 800 million people (give for improvement (like how about more appropriate moments. or take 200 million for war, disease, Dredd??). This is a good film. Go and see it now. genocide, etc). The Amazing Machine. The Amazing Flying Gerbil Machine. The stories in the Megazine (Mega 'Wacky Doctor' Clive talks to FELIX about bananas, snail farmingand old men's willies. The Damned Phantom Chords were there too. Doctor and the Medics The Phantom Chords Why do you call yourself a doctor? player and since he's left, the whole golf the Abba girls on video with long blond time, The Stones are still here. Old Fred I applied for medical college when I left situation is not as good as it used to be. wigs on. We did that with Roy Wood. and Barny. Sorry, that was very uncalled school^ to all five of the big London ones, And they're a great car... Nuke the The girls sang it. I just conducted the for. Yeah. and I got turned down from them all. fuckers! orchestra and played the saxaphone. It How about the Manchester scene? When I was about two months old, I was People ask me for advice on anything. was the coolest video we ever did. No, I The Stone Roses supported us in 1985 in my mother's arms and a gypsy woman Come on, who's qualified? Failed don't particularly want to play it tonight, at the Croydon Greyhound and they were called at the door selling her wares. She musician, failed snail farmer, failed joiner, in fact I think we played it live about shit then, and they're shit now. Let's be said to my mum that when he grows up you know. I've not succeeded at anything twice. honest, Echo and the Bunnymen started he's going to be a doctor. I thought a in my fucking life. Snail farming failed The rest of the stuff now, Steve and I all that thing rolling years ago and I still gypsy woman can't be wrong, so I tried miserably and I'm blaming Chernobyl. I write it all. Steve and I always used to think they do that kind of thing a hell of to be a doctor and I failed to get into put in a claim to European Agriculture. write it but we used to give Richard our a lot better. medical school, so instead I ended up There's a compensation thing for people publishing royalties for sitting and doing Do you go to gigs a lot or do you with a crap band called Doctor And The who had losses from Chernobyl. There's a nothing, but Richard's left now. The tend to stay away? Medics. few people in Wales who lost a lot of reason Richard, our bass player, left was No, I don't tend to really these days. I Actually, it's our first gig with the new snails as a result of it and I put in this that he didn't want to be seen in a band go to gigs when there's bands playing line-up. This is the dawning of a new age. claim, yeah? The thing is, they're putting that played Hi Ho Silver Lining. It was that I like to see but Val Doonican hasn't A new era in the annuls of bad taste in for the loss of the snails. I'm claiming too much for his credibility. toured for years now. I enjoy gigs a lot begins today. We have this single coming that I was writting an album about snails Who do you listen to? more these days 'cos I have to pay to go out on Monday which is a version of a at the time, and that since they've died, Jeff Beck mainly now. On the phone. in. I saw Pink Floyd at Wembley three song that not many people have heard of. my inspiration has gone. The album was 'You bastards, how dare you' he said. I years ago. That was really good. It's an obscure sixties song called Hi Ho going to be a top seller so I'm sueing listen to anything that's good. I'll listen to Where did you get the violets? Silver Lining. So we're just gearing them for £50m which is what the album Black Sabbath one day if I want to, I'll The opticians. If you have a look ourselves up to hopefully get ourselves would have reached. That's going through listen to Black Sabbath the next day and through them, you'll see what I'm talking working properly again. at the moment. I hope to hear about it. then some days I listen to Black Sabbath. about. I'm blind. It's better than taking So it's going to be ANOTHER cover Who writes all the stuff? Anything really, from Pink Floyd through acid, isn't it? They're proper glasses. version single! Well, Jeff Beck wrote the last one, to Wham, except I havn't listened to any Everyone thinks I'm a posey bastard. Yeah, it is. Well spotted sir! There's Norman Greenbaum wrote the one before Wham. That was a lie. So, Pink Floyd With a face like mine, you've got to hide many reasons for doing that, they're all that, and Bjorn and Benny from Abba the and Black Sabbath really. some of it. Look, there's a man eating a stupid reasons, this week. But to cut all one before that. We did a version of What I think is great in music is The banana! the bullshit, basically, we wanted to get a Waterloo years ago. We dressed up as Stones still being around. After all thii I once had a book by Al, the magician, record deal. We're hoping to have a Ali Bongo. I read it when I was sixteen second bite at the apple as the first bite and it said you should do something was very nice. It was our eigth birthday different every day, even if its just eating in April this year. Its been a career of ups a banana. It didn't make sense to me at and downs really, and I suppose we've the time, but I started eating bananas. It had downs for the last three years. said that bananas were the best food We've all had jobs. I make windows, because they were slimming, they were I'm a joiner. The customers haven't got a good for you, they came in convenient clue who I am. In the workshop, I'm the packaging. They were like some mystical scruffy cunt in the corner who snarls at food and you should eat one a day, so I all the customers, and that's it. I've got started eating a banana a day for like two wives and babies and things like that to days. Nothing happened. support. Steve, you'll notice, his guitar We're working on abject failure tonight. technique is a hell of a lot better 'cos he's No, no-one goes out on Saturday night, How did The Phantom Chords get the natural progression. Its a little bit of had a job screwing the caps on bottles in do they? They're showing a replay of together? fresh air to go on and play something a bottling factory. That action, over and Beardsley's goal against Poland tonight, a We knew what to do. Dave decided to that people havn't heard before. Its a over again has given him this technique. lot of people staying in for that. I loved do this thing on his own and he asked challenge. We're trying to get away from Apparantly, Eric Clapton saw Steve play the World Cup. myself and Brin to go off and do it with The Damned. Before Christmas I reckon recently and was so impressed by this Who do you support? him, which meant the end of The we'll be in The Marquee. Obviously we technique that he's now hoping to get a At the moment 1 support two children Damned. would like to go back to bigger gigs, but job in the bottling factory next week so and a wife, but I was born in Liverpool So it's fluid rock and roll basically its back to the basics. I don't work, this is he can get this little twist. You'll notice and the whole family is Liverpudlian mad now? all I do, with a spot of producing, a spot Steve does it tonight, only 'cos he's pissed so no I don't. I used to go and watch ice No, its not. We do a few songs that you of session work and write some songs. and on the wrong strings. hockey, but only because I was hot. I could class as rockabilly. There again we The Damned carried on for a while, did a How can we follow that? used to lick the ice. do a thing from the beatnik era. Its a few shows, just to get some money. The first Phantom Chords demos we did were Yes, and my mother was a piece of What wallpaper did you have as a musical collage. Played live it should be a nearly two years ago. It took that long to carpet, she's here in my pocket. So child? little bit exciting as opposed to just hum- get it all together. Its the same old story basically, that's why we've got this single Like every other Liverpudlian bastard drum copies of wierd sounds on the as a new band. Things were working coming out. I was even in Mr. Abusing we just used to put brown paper on the album. against us, like the reputation we had. this week. They said I should be flown wall. It was only brown because it was So you think your material is When you play say Hammersmith Odeon, out to Iraq with a note saying 'Saddam toilet paper that had been used. I don't boring? you have to do a slick show as people Hussein do something or other' and that I say anything that I regret really, apart Well, Johnny Remember Me wasn't our pay so much they expect a slick show. should be used as his moustache for his from 'spip snork'. That's the only thing choice, it was bowing to record company When you just play a club its just put snot or something. I've ever said that I regret saying, 'cos its pressure. Its always very difficult to your amp on some beer crates. We How do you get into the Talk Talk fucking stupid. I'm an intelligent man. I maintain your integrity when you've managed to do that on big and small pages of Melody Maker? have letters after my name, C.U.N.T. signed to the people paying your wages. venues. The stuff that I wrote for The In our case, just by being a right bunch Most of my childhood was spent in the We did Johnny Remember Me as The Damned was pretty fickel, but that was of pricks for eight years. That seems to cubs and scouts. I used to like the feel of Damned. I don't think there is a single on due to my immaturity. Its got to be more work. old men's willies up my bottom. Are we the album. You should put on something than the sky is blue, the grass is green What are your views on the Gulf a bitter band? No, Steve drinks lager. that represents you. The very reason that and mud is brown. situation? How do you cook asparagus? Boil it. The Phantom Chords are here now and Dan & Rare. Well, I think Tony Jacklin was a great Rare & SJH. The Damned are not is that it's us. It was A tour round Eastern Turkey.

FEATURE In Search of No h's Ark FEATURE This year, western holidaymakers will as if Noah was the first owner, headed in the corner awaiting the arrival of hole. Descending into the chilled air we once again cram themselves onto the East out of the city, the engine revving at electricity. Our guide was impatient to met crowds of Kurdish women 'developed' beach resorts of Turkey's its limit as we climbed the steep cliffs. hurry on. I had already messed up his brandishing head-sized chunks of clear ice Aegean and Mediterranean coasts, Isak Pasa Palace was the first stop after schedule once. in their numbed hands. They filled canvas oblivious to the rest of the nation. The twenty minutes. The building was started The descent continued until we reached shopping bags to carry the perishable long narrow country would stretch from in 1685 and took 99 years to complete. an area of cleared ground and a newly jewels home. We gave some of them a the Baltic Sea to Barcelona, or from Despite the Russian invasion which built restaurant complex overlooking the lift the four kilometres back to their Maidenhead to Morocco. Despite this, desecrated it in 1917 the ruins are still 'Noah's Ark remains'. The 'boat hull' village. They sat in over-awed silence, the most of the tourists who visited in 1989 breathtaking, with the Seljuk, Ottoman, resembling the remains of the Marie Rose melting ice oozing from their bags and were happily unaware that life existed Georgian, Persian and Armenian lay about 300 metres away across a dry pooling on the dusty bus floor. outside Bodrum. Content with the hotel architecture still intact and competing river bed. It was clearly only meant to be We swapped buses in Dogubuyazit for pool and bar, many do not know how against the arid ochre landscape of viewed at a distance. Determined to get the four hour trip to Van. It sits on the easy, cheap and rewarding Turkish travel volcanic soils. Behind the palace sits a my value for money I scrambled down south-eastern shores of the vast Lake is. mosque from 1512 which is still used for the steep bank and dashed over the Van, Turkey's 'Dead Sea', a mass of Turkey, the gateway to Asia, has an prayer. Behind this, rising out of the cliffs hummocky ground to examine the buoyant alkaline water the size of Greater enviable public transport system. The vast are the 800BC walls of the old city. remains. I had only a few minutes before London. The lake is famous for the bustling bus depots in each town act as a The thirty minute ration allowed to the bus horn called me back. I returned Armenian churches which can be found central nervous system to the extensive view the palace was barely enough. breathless to the group who applauded as on the many small islands. coach service. Timetables depend on Everyone sat in the bus waiting for me as I passed a small piece of petrified wood Time was against us and Van was our demand, with buses constantly leaving the cave hotels and pensions. A dusk difficult about the climb. The danger I scrambled frantically around the ruins around. Whether from boat or tree was last taste of the East before we dashed 'Now' to anywhere. With up to twenty stroll up to the cave dwellings above the comes from the severe weather, ferocious exploring every room on each level. for them to decide. back to the West. Covering 1,500 coach companies touting for business at small town of Urgup tempts out the cave sheep dogs, smugglers and outlaws. These Finally the guide had to come and extract Our lunch stop was the corner shop at kilometres and passing through several the depots, the cheapest fares can be people who offer impromptu candle-lit problems can be overcome by joining a me himself! the Iranian border. Biscuits and bubble centuries we reached Antalya feeling that bartered within minutes. Costs of bus guided tours round the dingy passages of group tour. Hann Overland adventure Sufficiently recovered, the bus dragged gum were on the menu. These we we had discovered a world poorly travel averages out at about 30p per 100 their ancestors and invite you to share travel offer an 11 day Mount Ararat Trek us over the next ridge to descend into a chewed as the bus bounced North along represented in expensive whitewashed miles. Hotel and pension prices away fruit in their humble homes. from the UK for £580. green valley. The screaming engine the border to the 'meteorite crater. The carpet shops and chip and burger bars of from the coast can be less than £2 per From the biblical landscapes of central The numbers of people climbing the echoed around the hills beckoning little unimpressive cavity strongly resembled a Bodrum. night including breakfast. This makes a Turkey our pilgrimage took us east mountain are on the increase. In 1982 Kurdish shepherd children and massive small World War Two bomb crater, few weeks of travel through Turkey through earthquake-plagued Erzurum and James Irwin the American astronaut sheep dogs from the fields. They scurried although the sign boasted its vital substantially cheaper than a single resort on to Dogubayazit. At only 35 km from reached the summit. His Kurdish guide to the roadside like iron filings to a statistics and preached in confusing Christopher Riley package beach holiday. the Iranian frontier this was the most now runs a taxi company near the bus magnet. The dogs were like horses and English that 'the hole of meteor is the We flew into Istanbul on a cheap flight easterly point of our travels. It is a town station in Dogubeyazit. He told me that stood barking in the road ready to head- second crater in in late August. Planning to see this of butchers and the streets reek of raw he has climbed Ararat six times since butt the bus as we passed. The children the world except ancient city on our return three weeks meat. Skinned carcases swathed in clouds then but has never found any remains of threw sticks, the dogs bit the tyres and (that) another one later, we immediately took an eight hour of flies hang outside the shop windows. the Ark. Over the years several people we prayed not to break down as the bus which is in bus journey east to Ankara, the capital. Dogubeyazit is dominated by the have reported sighting a 'boat shape', but spluttered past. Two small villages later Alaska'. This wasn't as horrific as it sounds. The legendary 5,165m Mt. Ararat. The snowy none have bought back any conclusive the driver felt it was safe to stop. The The final venue frequent stops and gallons of free tea peak, supposedly the resting place of evidence. dogs were gone but the children were involved a WORLD LEADERS served in tall glasses by small boys with Noah's Ark breached the horizon an hour For a few pounds, a small Dogubeyazit still there, snapping our ankles with cries strenuous drive crew cuts eased the monotony. Attracted before the town was reached. It can be tour company offers the 'Ark Tour'. The of 'photo...photo'. One carried a rams across virgin lava IN by the call from Cappadocia, we left climbed and there seems to be an proprietor studied English in Sheffield. His skull which he brandished on his flows to reach the Ankara early the next day for the central inexhaustable supply of guides and itinerary promises visits to Isak Pasa forehead like some Greek beast. ice cave. A short Anatolina plains. The region is famous for sherpas who are prepared to lead you Palace, a Kurdish village, Noah's Ark The village men would not talk to us, walk took us STUDENT TRAVEL its soft volcanic rocks which have been up—'If you have permission'. This comes remains, the Iranian border, a meteorite and argued over the repair of a tractor. from the extensively hollowed out for homes and in written form from the authorities in crater and an ice cave at the base of Mt. The house-proud women tempted us into exhausting heat of the afternoon stables. Some of these are still lived in Ankara and can take several months to Ararat. a home. The small white dung and mud Low cost flights today. In Goreme it is possible to stay in obtain. There is nothing technically The next morning all the budding walled building was neatly carpeted, the into the icy drafts 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' assembled walls had flock wallpaper and the ceiling from a low wide on quality airlines outside the travel office to board the had polystyrene tiles. A stereo sat on a minibus. The battered bus which looked table and a redundant television squatted Special fares for students Weekend breaks, tours & group bookings Well travelled consultants to guide you Over 120 offices worldwide

ULU TRAVEL SHERFIELD BUILDING IMPERIAL COLLEGE

ULU TRAVEL 99209 Ian Hodge investigates the beautiful south Brixton s Bazaar pieces of wood in little plastic bags for a pound. I have no idea what they are for, if you buy some let me know. Continuing on you come to a crossroads with Brixton Station Road, the Brixton Recreation Centre is in front and to the left. Looking left you will see a stall selling eggs and further along a couple of stalls selling second-hand records. They sell every kind of music but one of them does concentrate on more obscure artists. If you turn right you come to the area of second hand clothes and general junk stalls. These aren't in full swing until at least an hour after the main market. There is a good chance of picking up a suit for around ten pounds but most of the clothes would look more at home in a seventy's drama. Retracing your steps, half way along Pope's Road you will see the entrance to the Granville Arcade on your left. This contains two of the strangest shops in the area. Firstly the wig shop. Here you can get an afro-wig which the Four Tops would be proud of, so you too can look like a fuzz ball on legs. Inside you can get hair extensions in red, green, yellow and even brown, clip-on pony-tails and hair dye in every colour under the sun. Further along 1st Avenue (the street and numbered, 1st to 5th) is a shop called 'Food from home'. This sells Indian Asian food, spices, vegetables and dried fish. The fish comes both whole and in powders sold by the quarter. Other shops in the arcade include a pet shop, several butchers and fishmongers, clothes shops and a bakers. If you come out onto Atlantic Road by turning down an alley with a baker and a butcher on opposite sides you will come out almost opposite Market Row. This is a very similar to Granville Arcade, concentrating more on clothes and general household goods. This was Deep in the stagnant swamp that is South around a bend in the road are a mixture the only place I could find which sold London is a market where you can buy of butchers, grocers and clothes shops. pigs tails, three in a bag for about fifty many weird and wonderful things. If your Looking into the butchers is definitely not pence. idea of tasty is sheep's feet or pig's tails for the squeamish or faint-hearted, whole Other areas to look at are the railway then you're in luck. cows are cut up with rotary saws with arches, where you may hear some gospel Brixton market, sandwiched between little thought for any passing vegetarians. singing, the area immediately behind the the tube and mainline stations, is the Any part of the cow can be bought, from tube station and also some of the side result of various ethnic and religious its tail to its neck and everything in streets off Electric Avenue. communities that live in close proximity. between. If you fancy something to eat there are Afro-Caribbean, African, South East Asian, You can even buy something that I a few cafes dotted about such as Joe's Far East and English cultures all add remember from dissection lessons at Cafe along Brixton Station Road. It is flavour to the soup. school: pig's trotters. If you fancy trying reasonably priced and reasonably clean. Lining both sides of Electric Avenue them you can get four for less than a Getting to Brixton is easy, either take (the same one mentioned in the Eddy pound, but there's not much meat on the Victoria line south or a British Rail

Grant song) arecfruit and vegetable, them. train both to Brixton Station. second-hand shoe and even Bible stalls. If you continue along Electric Avenue, Stalls are set up by around half past In addition to the normal King Williams cross over Atlantic Road and pass under nine along Electric Avenue and slighly pears and Cox's apples you can buy puna the railway bridge you come into Pope's later along Brixton Station Road. yams (a large relative of the potato), Road. The area is definitely worth a look okra, gineps, juna plums, green bananas Here you will find more fruit and veg although I was slighly disappointed with and plantain (longer than usual bananas.) stalls, a knickers stall and one selling the lack of atmosphere for which the The permanent shops that are collected Jamaican sherry. You can even buy area is supposedly famous. 12 Sports Cross Football: IC IV-2 IC V-0 Country IC II, ULU division 1 defending What better way to start the season than So, was October 13 to see a new dawn in champions, got a very rude awakening at to have this needle match to whet the the blighted recent history of IC X- the start of the 90/91 campaign, crashing appetite. With both sides still getting to country? Eight fit, young Corinthians like an IC house party 6-0 to London know each other so early in the season, thought so, and on a sunny day in early Hospitals. the first half began tensely, although the Fall they travelled to Oxford for the Why? Lack of fitness and entirely new 4ths had the majority of the chances. season's traditional curtain raiser, the team sound better reasons than 'we were Captain Shangha missed an easy chance Oxpoly Relays. High on hopes and crap!'. early on and then had an even easier buoyed by a sense of history, Frank The next game, against Royal Free chance cleared off the line. Not put off by Dudbridge blasted round the first lap of Hospital, saw a distinct and welcome their Captain's apparent mental the technically demanding course to improvement. Despite domination most of disabilities, the 4ths soldiered on against record 8.57 and 4th place for the A team. the match, a goal by S Barry, a double some skilful play from the opposition and The B team was opened by Ian Williams, penalty save by S Shilling and some Keven McCann managed to hit the post. who finished just behind Carl Edwards of bizarre refereeing meant the match ended The deadlock continued for half an the Guardians of the Free Spirit, in a diplomatic 1-1 draw. hour after the interval, then the 4ths consisting of the A runners in a different And so to victory....IC II, with improved brought on their sub, Damon Thomas. He order. Destiny was now to rear its head fitness and teamwork, completely immediately made a brilliant run into the as Paul Northrop stormed round in 8:12 outclassed (and outscored) the School of open left and then immediately and to put IC A into an awesome 150m lead. Pharmacy team to earn their first league brilliantly buggered it up. This sub was The other two teams ably maintained win, two points and captains jug! IC then involved in an ugly incident at the position through Duncan O'Dellin the B dominated from the start with M Abdo other end as the 5ths foul-mouthed and and Frank performing a brave but scoring a classy solo goal in the seventh lumbering captain maliculously bundled ultimately naive 2nd individual leg for the minute. A shock equaliser two minutes him off the ball, but luckily the referee C. Stage three, and the benefits of later stemmed the IC tide until the was close at hand and no serious injury training above the snow line were fifteenth minute when M Plummer scored ensued. demonstrated by Dave Bivvy, whose directly from a corner kick. Ten minutes Then, with 10 minutes left, the 4ths sturdy thighs kept the first team in the later S Barry turned on a new 5p piece to broke down the right and midfielder Rich lead by a comfortable 57 second margin, crack in the third. IC started the second Burrows slid the ball in for the deserved while Paul pulled off a 9:11 for the Free half in a relaxed mood and allowed SOP lead. Finally, close to the end and with Spirit and Jake maintained the B team's back into the game. A nervous and the 5ths pressing for an equaliser, the inexorable progress, the anchor leg fell to testing time ended shortly before full time 4ths counter-attacked and the versatile the hapless and woefully undertrained as M Abdo blasted his second of the Lee Davis finished superbly to make sure Carl, whose commendable effort might afternoon to make it 4-2 to IC. of the result. have held up against a mere mortal, but against a bronzed Adonis could only capitulate. Keven Usher of Oxpoly Old Boys not only relegated IC to second place, but also deprived Paul of the day's Dribblers fastest time by just one second. Some Debbie Williams comfort was gained, however, when The IC Dribblers, long regarded as the Oxpoly Old Boys were not given first last hope of decent football at IC, cruised —A Tribute prize since the race was only open to to a 7-0 victory at Goldsmith's on Sunday current students. Meanwhile Harry October 14, with a performance to put brought the B team home in a the men's teams to shame. respectable mid-field position, and the The Holbein trio, Permi, Gert and Eth distinguishing feature of the C team, a bulldozed their way through a rock solid Debbie Williams, the figurehead of the IC pair of Oakley sunglasses, was displayed defence with amazing runs up the length Dribblers, made what was probably the by Dave, finishing ahead of many other of the pitch to leave the Goldsmiths side toughest decision of her life on Sunday colleges' A teams. So, moral victory and awestruck with their skill. October 14 when she decided to step hopefully a springboard to further team Permi put on a fine performance, down and hand over captaincy to and individual success in the season scoring four goals after basically coming Permi—a member of the famous Holbein ahead. back from the dead afjter an horrendous school of football. Debbie fought back the foul by a Goldsmith's defender. But foul tears as she played what was to be her Rifle & Pistol play and dirty tactics didn't deter the last game as Captain. Dribblers as they romped home to a But what a performance she put on for During the summer, the Imperial College storming 7-0 victory. The Holbein trio, her fans with a splendid first half goal Pistol team won the Howe Cup for the the backbone of the squad, the inspiration laid on by her successor. third consecutive year. behind the team, were supported Debbie was the original founder of the tremendously by the rest of the team, famous Dribblers and, along with super Long range scores particularly the other scorers: Debbie, Jo coach, and inspiration behind the team, Imperial and Nat. Willie John, has shaped the Dribblers into Simon Taylor 103/150 This fine performance has no doubt world beaters. James Hurr 103/150 served as a grave warning to the other She put on a brave face as she led her Tony Menzies 79/150 league teams—the Dribblers are back team into Southside for the final time and (Tim Griffiths 74/150) Reserve with a vengeance, and with the exciting made it a night to remember as she got Oxford prospect of further Holbeiners joining the completely pissed, and embarrassed all Steve Ivory 77/150 squad, the other teams are no doubt and sundry. Kate Sprake 48/150 shaking in their boots. Debbie Williams—what a star, we stand A.N. Other 36/150 What a splendid performance! up and applaud you! 13 Clubs & Societies sec Science Fiction Last year, the Social Clubs Committee From the director of The Terminator and moments with one real tear jerker of a provided over 25 societies for the Aliens, The Abyss takes you on an scene. The effects are incredible and for students of IC. They covered a wide underwater close encounter. More of a full impact need to be seen on a big spectrum of topics from political to taught suspense thriller than a fish-like ET screen. The Abyss will be shown at science fiction tendencies. Unfortunately, with the crew of an experimental 7.00pm on Tuesday October 30 in Mech over the summer, three societies have underwater oil rig aiding the military on Eng 220. Membership is £2 which rapidly diminished and I am now putting rescueing the crew of a crashed nuclear includes a free film, or 80p entry to out an appeal for potential committee submarine. It gives a real sense of members. members to step forward, and revive claustrophobia and has some disturbing these flagging dominions. Of course, funding is available as last year's committees had already put a claim in. The societies are: Fencing Waterpolo Greater London Club—organises events to ' On Mondayv OctobeOctohpr 222 in thep first oagamm e promote London. of the year, the IC squad won through a Third World First—Concerned with the As an Olympic Sport, fencing is widely very physical encounter with Enfield to developing world. practised by amateurs across the globe. win 6-4. It was a fine team performance Women in Science and Technology—20% These athletes play a game that is both with everyone swimming hard, an of the college's population trying to do unique and fascinating. They employ both encouraging sign with the UAU the other 80%'s work. mental and physical agility, as well as championships approaching. tactics and guile. Beginning this evening (Friday 27) If you are interested, please get in touch The history of fencing is long and expert coaching will be given by a Great via ICU. chequered, sometimes popular, at one Britain player, which will raise the level Spenser Lane (SCC Chair). time illegal. The masters of the sixteenth of our play, and set us up for an exciting and seventeenth century would teach and successful year. In Monday's game their deadly techniques to all classes of our early term fitness improved to be the person, from common brawlers to decisive factor, showing that there is still royalty. plenty of room for any potential players Much of fencing's mystique comes from prepared to train hard. So, all who Rock Soc real or fictional characters. The infamous expressed an interest, now is the time to Julie de Maupin, who is reputed to have come down to training every Monday and review killed several men in a series of duels at Friday from 6.00pm. There is also a a ball; simply because they had defended women's waterpolo squad which was a woman she had insulted. Cyrano de particularly successful last year, and Solid State kicked off to a good start with Bergerac, who would challenge people to which needs new players. Again come some weird noises, and soon fell into a duels for just looking at his unfortunately training on Monday or Friday for further selection that wavered across the long nose. details. boundaries of rock n roll and rhythm and The image that springs to mind is blues, with heavy metal solos. Twenty to invariably of Errol Flynn, swinging from twenty-five years ago this would have chandaliers or fighting eight men at once. seemed exciting. They improved in the However, the reality of fencing is far Sailing middle with the Sabbathy Heart Attack more beautiful than these spectacular, followed by softer material which they straightforward images. A great fencer's On Sunday October 14, the racing section played well, but it wasn't what many of skills are subtle: blinding speed, of the Yacht Club took part in the first of us had come to hear. judgement of timing and distance, the eight races in the First Class Europe E.T.A.'s set was gripping, driving power ability to be utterly unpredictable. Winter Series. The crew, Tony metal storm that whipped the All of these things are difficult to see Razmilovic, Thor Askerland, Emmanuel headbangers into a fury and sucked in a and impossible to understand unless you Osmont, Andre Coppola, Emmanuel large crowd of oridinary people from confront such a person with an epee, foil Gringarten, Rick Dickinson, Rory Barrett outside. Since their excellent performance or sabre in your hand. and Tim Parons, practised hard on the here last year, they have shed almost all The fencing club at IC has fencers of all Saturday to build up their confidence with traces of glam and even got thrashy in abilities, from beginner to advanced. Our gybes and tacks, and gaining the feel of the ultra-heavy I'm a Man, which was one coach is Ziemeck Wojciechowski, the the boat. of the few tracks that wasn't played at National coach for foil and Olympic Race day on Sunday started slowly with breakneck speed. They did lighten up coach. We compete in the National some sleepy heads taking too long to occasionally to give people a chance to University Athletics Union tournament ready themselves but even though the boogie, so there was something for which we won last year. No beginning boat was one minute late for the start, everyone. They played both songs from equipment is needed other than trainers, and in spite of not having a pen to write their single Easy Days Sleazy Nights. The tracksuit trousers and enthusiasm. down and plan the course and tactics, B side, Crazy was a superb, heavy blaze As fencers, you would be encouraged Not Us forged onwards, with sails full and of speed and power. At only SI (plus £2 to train, fight, win and lose as sports men ropes cracking. Two and a half laps later, RockSoc membership) this was really and women, to develop your own we rounded for the final tack to the finish good value for money. This was an even technique and to enjoy this exhilarating alongside arch-rivals Yes and just gently better performance than last year from sport. If you're interested, why not come pulled away, to turn in a respectable E.T.A. and nobody was disappointed. along and become the butcher of nothing fourth place (to be confirmed). more than a silk button? Next race: This Sunday (21st). Swimming OSC Hang On Friday November 2, at the IC Sports Good news for overseas students: you will Centre from 6.30pm you can swim for soon be able to find your country's free, courtesy of the pool management newspapers in the Haldane Library. We Gliding (many thanks), and the IC Swimming and have negotiated with the College Water Polo Club. Librarian, Mrs Magda Czigany, who Hang gliding has been established in the Why? Well it's quite simple, all kindly agreed that 25 overseas UK for over ten years, and after a rather swimmers will be raising money for newspapers will be displayed. The 'hippy image' it now enjoys a safety charity, specifically as part of the Great National Societies will be responsible for record on a par with skiing. A modern British Swim which involves more than looking after their newpapers and to hang glider consists of about 601bs of 140 swimming clubs around the country answer any of your questions. This means Dacron, aluminium and assorted wires in aid of the National Asthma Campaign. that if you have a question, ask your and has a glide angle similar to a modern Do you know anyone with asthma? It's society, not the library staff. airliner. In skilled hands it is capable of quite likely that you do, because it is the There are numerous students from some pretty amazing performance...the most common chronic disease in children, various nationalities in this College who current British altitude record is 13,200 affecting more than two million people (1 do not have a National Society (eg French feet above sea level, and the cross in 10 children) in the UK alone. The and German students). We believe that country distance record is over 200 miles. National Asthma Campaign, through the there are many reasons why they should The World distance record has recently 'Asthma Week' and the sponsored swim start their society, the main two being: to been extended to over 300 miles. aims to raise over £50,000 for research promote the culture of their country and Learning to fly a hang glider demands into the causes of this disease. to contribute more actively to the some perseverance in the early stages, So what's the catch? You know it's for international character of this college, and but as you progress, the sport actually charity so obviously it's to do with raising to help new students from their country becomes less strenuous, as first you learn funds. This can be done in one of two to adapt to and to benefit from living in to soar and then to land back at the top ways (one way you can actually win London. of the hill (instead of the bottom). We prizes!) Either get a sponsorship form and Starting a society is not as difficult or have arranged for discounts on weekend get your friends to dig deep (see details bureaucratic as it may sound, and training near Brighton and we will be below), or if you just come along for a societies' activities are usually subsidised organising at least two residential weeks free swim please be prepared to make a by the Union. If you feel that starting a on the Isle of Wight over Christmas and donation to the fund. So it's not too society is a good idea, we will be happy Easter. painful! In return for a free swim (up to to provide you with all the information Paragliding is a comparatively new 2!/2 hours long) all we ask for you is to you need. Please let us know by writing sport which is fast gaining popularity in give a little to the National Asthma to the OSC, IC Union (our pigeonhole is the UK. It originated in France where Campaign—an undoubtedly worthy cause. in the Union Office). bored ski bums learned to foot launch ram-air parachutes from the top of Should you wish to get hold of As for the existing socieites, we have mountains. The canopies have developed sponsorship forms please contact Chris not heard yet from the following: to the extent that they would be useless Cox, through either the Mech Eng UG, or Latin American as a free-fall parachute, but they have ACC 'W pigeonholes. All those who get Malaysia much better performance as a result. sponsored receive a certificate for their Middle East Modern canopies have a glide angle of labours and are eligible for a competiton We remind you that it is essential to about 6:1, which is the same as a hang in which you can win up to £100 in check your pigeonhole regularly and that glider ten years ago. The main advantage sports equipment vouchers. you must send a representative to OSC of paragliding over hang gliding is So help us, help yourselves and the meetings. weight. A paraglider weighs only about National Asthma Campaign by taking us 151bs, so you can carry it in a rucksack up on our offer of a free swim. Come on on public transport, your bike, even take down and get wet for charity! it when you go hill walking—no more tedious walking down the mountain after you've admired the view! Even with their inferior glide performance, paragliders are still capable of remarkable feats— paraglider pilots regularly outclimb sailplanes and hang gliders because they can turn more tightly in thermals. Cross country flying is a bit easier than hang gliding, and is a bit quicker, but the two sports are highly complementary and if you start learning one it is quite easy to transfer to the other. If you want to learn more (or just see some spectacular bird's eye views of China) come along to our introductory evening on Tuesday October 30, Room 703 Mech Eng at 6pm. We will be showing some videos and giving a talk about general aspects of the two sports. 'Hang gliding isn't quite as good as sex, but it lasts a lot longer.'—Robbie Whittal-1989 World Champion. 15 LETTERS Seau What! Dear Sir, present—all true Conservatives—could completely false representation of the Your article last week about Cecil name the country's third largest party. Government's economic policies. Parkinson left a lot to be desired. Firstly This is a higher percentage than among 1 think some mention might have been 'Cecil Drinks Perrier! Full shocking story Liberal Democrat supporters. made somewhere of ConSoc. We put a lot page 3!' In the true spirit of Conservatism More serious was your correspondent's of time and effort into making our there was minimal Governmental misquoting of remarks Mr Parkinson speaker meetings enjoyable and intervention in the purchase of made on the state of the economy. Mr successful. Particular thanks must go to refreshments. In fact there was none: I Parkinson said that the Conservative Alan Bailey, Julian Dyson, Thomas Wyatt bought the Perrier at QT. I would rather Party would never adopt 'win the and Michael Hoskin. We expect our next have bought British, but there wasn't any, election, pay later' policies. It didn't in guest speaker, Edwina Currie (Tuesday, and I hadn't time to pop down to High 1981 and will not now. At both times the same time, same place), to be as popular. Street Ken. I hoped he enjoyed it, I can't Government correctly insisted on tight Admission is free to anyone who can stand the stuff. I promise we'll do better monetary policies as the only way to name the country's largest political party. next time. control inflation, even if this jeopardised The unattended bag was challenged, A quick survey at Friday's ConSoc re-election prospects. The twisted twice. Later it was taken away for meeting revealed that everyone reporting in this part of the article gave a interrogation. Sadly, it was claimed before we'd got it to confess anything. Hope to see you all there on Tuesday. What's On Yours faithfully, Ultan McCarthy, Physics 3. AN UP-TO-THE-MINUTE GUIDE TO EVENTS IN AND AROUND IMPERIAL COLLEGE

FRIDAY Boat Club ..9.00pm Cathsoc Mass 12.30pm Yacht Club Meeting 12.30pm Putney Boathouse. Mech Eng 702. Followed by lunch. Huxley 413. Sailing Club 12.30pm ConSoc Meeting 12.30pm Southside Lounge. Mech Eng 703. MONDAY AudioSoc Meeting 12.30pm Rag Meeting 12.40pm RockSoc Meeting 12.30pm SCR. 1st floor Union Building. Equipment for Union Lounge. Southside Upper Lounge. Come and hear the hire and cheap LPs/CDs/Tapes. Friday Prayers l.OOpm latest (beer optional). All abnormalities ConSoc Meeting l.OOpm Southside Gym. See Islamic Society. welcome. Edwina Currie speaks in Mech Eng 220. Swimming 6.30pm Environment Soc 12.45pm Ents Meeting l.OOpm Sports Centre. New members always welcome Mech Eng 703. British Antarctic Survey with Union Lounge. All welcome. to join in fun fitness training. Dr Shanklin. Lunchtime Concert 1.15pm Fencing Club Training 6.40pm Basketball Club 5.30pm Read Theatre (level 5 Sherfield). Music by Club training. Volleyball Court. Men's Team. Bach, Doppler, Telemann, Gluck, Ridout. FREE. Water Polo 7.30pm Keep Fit 5.30pm Radio Modellers 5.30pm Sports Centre. Come along and join in one of Southside Gym. Student training workshop, Mech Eng. the most physically demanding sports ever Swimming 6.30pm Keep Fit 5.30pm inveted. Sports Centre. New members always welcome Southside Gym. to join in fun fitness training. Amenesty International 5.30pm Rock n Roll 7.00pm Clubs Committee Room. Weekly meeting. SATURDAY JCR. Beginners Social Ballroom 6.00pm Boat Club 9.00pm WellSoc Meeting 7.30pm JCR. Beginners. Putney Boathouse Physics LT1. Bob Symes (from Tomorrow's Judo 6.30pm Kung Fu Club 4.30pm World) 'The Mysterious Mr Tesla'. Union Gym. Wu Shu Kwan in Southside Gym. Water Polo 7.30pm SciFi Film 7.00pm Sports Centre. Come along and try one of the 'The Abyss' in Mech Eng 220. See clubs pages. most physically demanding sports. Latin American 7.00pm SUNDAY Latin American 8.00pm JCR. Bronze Medal Class. Sunday Service 10.00am JCR. Beginners/Improvers Anteroom Sherfield Building. See West London Chaplaincy. WEDNESDAY Catholic Chaplaincy 11.00am TUESDAY Keep Fit 12.30pm 53 Cromwell Road. Riding Club Meeting 12.30pm Southside Gym. Wargames 1.00pm Southside Upper Lounge. Come and see how it Sci Fi Video 12.45pm UDH. All welcome. feels to have 16 hands between your legs. Union Lounge. 'Star Trek'. Catholic Chaplaincy 11.00am Christian Outreach 12.30pm FBI Meeting 12.45pm 53 Cromwell Road. Elec Eng 508. Talk 4 'Life After Death'. Maths 130. Morgan Grenfell, the merchant Kung Fu Club 4.30pm Radio Modellers 12.30pm bankers, will be present. Wu Shu Kwan in the Union Gym. Southside Lounge. 16 Bailey's on the Rocks \Veaf Sir LETTERS

Dear Sir, maladjusted and potentially unstable are simply not strong enough to face up Alan Bailey's neanderthal treatment of people? To put down the solution to a to the fact that life is disorder, that we an issue as complex as sex changes psychological problem which these are not in control to the extent to which (FELIX 879) is symptomatic of the extent 'revolting creatures' should face up to is a we think we are. It's so easy to fall into to which tunnel-vision and intellectual crude, totalitarian disregard for the prime the trap of accepting what religions, impotence can castrate the ability to ethic of any progressive society; to ideologies or even just plain intellectual rationally consider and respond to the maximise the freedom of its individuals. sloth tells you is 'the answer': it makes impact of unavoidable challenges to our One of the main problems of people like you feel in control. You could almost social fabric. The ever accelerating effect Alan Bailey, stomping around in their forgive them: spoon-fed a diet of order, of science and technology on our lives self- righteous intellectual jackboots, is shelter and unlimited possibilities, behind has to be regarded with a mind set that they actually believe that there are a judeo-christian religion which arrogantly devoid of any preconceived and simplistic absolute moral standards which can be supposes to have an answer for ideas. applied to people: there is a 'good' and a everything and a self-sustaining economic For example, to what extent does 'bad' person, a 'deviant' and a 'weirdo'. environment based on the maxim gun genetic engineering enter the domain of Wake up! Good and bad can at most (...), the chaos and turbulence that 90% of medical healthcare as a 'pre-emptive' only be applied to the interaction the world's population have to cope cure? The Alan Bailey's of the world will between two or more people. A person with—reality, dammit!—on a daily basis concentrate on propagandist side issues who has a sex change is not a 'bad' are easily hidden. like the 'deviant' parents which choose person for the simple reason of having But you can't: we can't afford to the sex of their children; ignoring, for undergone an operation: it's the effects of condone narrow-mindedness. We need example, that genetic engineering gives the operation on his interaction with responsible, creative people who will us the chance to eliminate some others that has to be judged. Has Alan work out new paradigms for the way our hereditary diseases which condemn Bailey ever met somebody who has had a society should evolve, not primitive, thousands of people to a lifetime of sub- sex change? stagnant, jingoistic closet fascists. normal existence. There is a simple reason for people like Konrad Pagenstert, Mech Eng 3. On the sex-change issue, what is the Alan Bailey to try and arrange everything value to society of 25,000 physiologically into little piles of 'good' and 'bad': they

Wargames 1.00pm West London Chaplaincy. Brendan). UDH. All welcome. Social Ballroom 6.00pm THE YOGA CLASS will hold its first meeting Micro Club Meeting 1.15pm JCR. Intermediate. on Monday October 29 at 7.30am in the Union Top floor NW corner Union Building. Every Judo 6.30pm Gym. For details ring Duncan on 6988. week. Union Gym. ASIAN/INDIAN Society is holding a party in Rowing Club 2.00pm Social Ballroom 7.00pm the JCR on November 30 from 9pm until late... Putney Boathouse. JCR. Beginners. Basketball Club 7.30pm Latin American 8.00pm PERSONAL Volleyball Court. Women's Team JCR. Gold medal class. ARE YOU HAPPY with your Brainwash? A Kung Fu Club 7.30pm ICCAG Soup Run 9.00pm psychologist speaks. Dr Davies from UCL talks Union Gym. Wu Shu Kwan. Meet Weeks Hall Basement to take for to on 'Why we Sleep' at 5.30pm in W3 (Beit Arch) Christian Outreach 7.30pm London's homeless. on Thursday November 1. Refreshments Prayer meeting in Huxley Room 342. afterwards are free. Small Ads THE SECRET message to the FBI is 'Morgan Grenfell'. The asignation is on Wednesday THURSDAY MEMBERS OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION October 31 at 12.45pm in Maths 130. Fencing Training 11.30am CAN ADVERTISE IN THIS COLUMN FOR EDWINA CURRIE MP, Politician Writer and Intermediate & advanced coaching. FREE. MAXIMUM OF 25 WORDS PLEASE. all round good egg, requests the pleasure of AudioSoc Meeting 12.30pm your company on Tuesday October 30 in Mech ANNOUNCEMENTS SCR. 1st floor Union Building. See Tuesday's Eng 220 at 1.00pm. SECURITY WARNING: Cycle locks are entry. TWO AND a half weeks to go available from security (Sherfield) at £16.75. Postgrad Lunch 12.30pm Until you vomit, WOULD THE PERSON who used bolt cutters Chaplains Office (10 Princes Gardens). See Over the Rag Mag. West London Chaplaincy. to steal my wallet, cheque book, watch and Fencing Training 12.30pm most importantly my diary from my locker, Beginners Training. Level 1, Mech Eng on Wednesday afternoon Fencing Training 1.30pm please find it in their heart to return at least Imperial College General. the diary which is ol absolutely no use to Gliding Club Meeting 1.00pm yourself but contains important dates and CHINESE SOCIETY Aero 266. Come and arrange a trial flight. All addresses to me. You may leave it quite FRESHERS' DISCO newcomers welcome. anonimously in my pigeonhole in Mech Eng. Keep Fit 5.30pm Thanks Neil Steer, ME4. 31st October 1990 Southside Gym HANG GLIDING and paragliding club: Friday at Tower Hotel BioSoc Talk 5.30pm 12.30pm above Southside Bar. Beit Arch W3. Talk on 'Sleep' by University BASSOONIST needed to play chamber wind £6 (members) £7 (non-members) College's Psychologist Dr Davies. Refreshments music. Saxophonist needed to play in concert For details see ICCS noticeboard free. All welcome. band. Contact St Mary's Student Union on Midweek Service 5.30pm 071-723 1252 ext 5197 (ansaphone-leave Chaplains Office (10 Prince's Gardens). See message for music society either Adriel or HE'S 54, HE MANAGES 4000 PEOPLE, AND HE'S BEEN IN HIS INDUSTRY FOR 25 YEARS

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TELL HIM TO SPEND £5 MILLION?

You're in a meeting with your As an Associate Consultant at Bain manager and the Managing you are an essential part of that Director of your client. They're a process. The situation we've £300m company planning described is one you'll learn to take expansion into Europe. The MD in your stride. The job demands turns to your manager: maturity, problem solving ability, commitment and resourcefulness, "If France is that attractive, why and makes use of any language have all our competitors done so skills. To those qualities we'll add badly there?" a rigorous training that will equip you to deal with complex business Your manager turns to you. problems. You'll work with You're the one who's spent the like-minded people who'll rely on last three weeks analysing the your contribution almost from the French market (you were in Paris word go. interviewing last week). If that's the kind of challenge that Your answer is concise, if a little appeals to you, come to our nervous, and two heads nod in presentation and cocktail reception. agreement. One month later, convinced by the quality of the at: Portman Intercontinental Hotel, analysis, the client board votes Portman Square, Wl to build the plant you recommended. on: Tuesday 6 November 1990

It's a typical result. As the at: 7:00pm largest strategic management consultancy in the UK, Bain & or contact Kayt Baker, Manager, Company's task is to help clients Recruiting Department, Bain & produce superior performance in Company, 16 Connaught Place, every aspect of their business. London W2 2ES.

Bain & Company, Inc. Manager's Bit

Medics Gig the word of one man is not good enough, unknown, Chinese student called at the The appalling cock-up in communications so get them to sign on the dotted line. stores in the basement and requested a over the Doctor and the Medics gig has We saw enough inept actions made by pair of cutters. The cutters were handed cost the Union £5.5k. College Estates had last year's DP and it would be a shame to over without a signature being obtained given the go ahead for the band to play get back into that rut. and surprise, surprise, security are very in the Marquee that was used for the Security interested in talking to him. Such action Careers Fair. It was intended that the Security has been tightening up its act is contemptable and I believe that strong profits would subsidise the potential loss helped by observant staff. I am told that words have been had within the of the staging of the new improved loss of College property (computers etc) department. The message from Security Careers Fair set-up. Unfortunately no has dropped, but that personal property is, as ever, do not leave valuables in agreement with College was made in thefts are still high. This, I am afraid, is jackets in unlocked areas...you have been writing. Refectories had not been down to you. warned. consulted and they had a booking in the A man was stopped and questioned the Credits MDH on the same night. Quite reasonably other day, as he was acting suspiciously. Printing & Typesetting: Andy and Rose they objected to the noise that would Security was called in and after half an News Editor: Toby Jones have ensued and the lack of separate bar hour managed to verify his identity by Features Editor: Roland Flowerdew facilities to cater for the gig goers. calling St Mary's. During this time, Science Editor: Ian Hodge It's all very well allowing business to be however, another character in the same Reviews Editor: Adam T conducted in an informal way if the deal building made his way to another part of Music Editor: Sarah is small and concerns organisation with the building and acquired a wallet. In this Photography: Kaveh, Jeremy and one third party. But, when it comes to instance it was just a case of bad timimg, Richard the staging of a function for a thousand but it does show they are getting their Others: Adam Harrington, James Grinter, punters, a large sum of money, and act together. Andy Butcher, Palestinian Society and dealing with many College departments, Even people who have had their Chinese Society (for collating). it must be done by the book. It is a lockers broken into, should be aware of Last Week: Liz Warren & Jeremy, who lesson that I hope the Union will have leaving valuables around in easily 1 missed out last week. learnt from, as ICU cannot afford more perpetrated areas. The stupid thing about losses of the same magnitude. Trusting the theft in Mech Eng is that an, as yet FELIX is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Imperial College Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB (Tel: 071-225 8672). Manager: Chris Stapleton, Business Manager: Jeremy Burnell, Advertising Manager: Chris Adams. Copyright FELIX 1990. ISSN 1040-0711.

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Transport unifying the two Unions. Events One of our vans, AHU, is well and truly Unfortunately very few people turned up knackered. If anyone wants to buy a five Harlington Trust to the Doctor and the Medics gig on year old white transit, 4 good tyres, only The Trust was set up for the distribution Saturday night. I am sorry if people 140,000 miles on the clock, let me of income received from excavation of missed it due to the lack of know—I can do you a deal. gravel at Harlington Sports' Ground. The publicity/notice/high ticket price. The current fund stands at million with a original plans were for a different type of Insurance projected £3.3 million by the end of the event which at late notice could not be If any clubs still haven't submitted an programme. Considerable disruption staged. The bands seemed to be well insurance inventory please do so quickly. occurred at Harlington resulting in received by those that did go and I hope All lists should be with approximate reduced availability of sports facilities you enjoyed yourselves. replacement values, inclusive of VAT and over the past few years. For this reason, Tonight and next Friday there are Ents totalled. a few historical ones, and because the gigs in the Union Lounge. Next Friday revenue has come from 'The Union's there is a Bonfire Party out at Silwood. Union Office Sports Ground', the trust money has This is always a good night and even Can any clubs or MSC's, who haven't always been earmarked for sports clubs' though it will be dark, you get to see the directly done so, please sort through their use. Field Station out near Ascot. Tickets are pigeonholes in the office and clear any The Rector has now started making £3 including band, disco, bonfire, firework extraneous crap. Ta. noises about some of the money being display, free barbecue and late bar. used towards a new hall of residence. On Return coach will be £2. Tickets from the Welfare a personal level I'm opposed to it. As a Union Office. ICU will be running two campaigns this Union representative, I'm bound by what year: Healthy Lifestyles and Financial the majority thinks. What does everyone Elections Awareness. Anyone who would like to think? This will probably come up at the Well no one stood for FELIX Editor. help out, please give me a call in the next Kensington UGM on December 6. Another election will be held. In the Union Office. meantime discussion is taking place as to RCSU Elections what the election will be for. St Mary's Congratulations to Suzanne Ahmet on We have received nominations for The first reading of bye-law changes becoming the President. I look forward to Welfare Officer and Women's Officer relating to the merger document is set for working with her on exec this year. Does these being Helen Blacker and Marianne the next UGM. This is at Mary's in the anyone want to be External Affairs Purcell respectively.' bar—now on Thursday November 8. The Officer? There are at present (23.10.90) no reading signifies the final stage in completed papers for the posts of PGAO, IRC Chair, Haldane Book Buyer, Handbook Editor, AP Editor, 2 First Year Reps to Council, 2 Ordinary Members Academic Affairs Committee, Secretary Entertainments Academic Affairs Committee, 2 Ordinary Members ICCAG. We do need people to fill these posts so if you are interested -B.J. please stand. Hello again people. It's the Ents corner some very innovative guitar work. More Elections will be at the UGM at St again but this time we have some actual like a Stone Roses/Soup Dragons Inspirai Mary's, now moved to November 8 so as news for you. And the great news is that, Screem band. The only way to judge not to clash with other functions. For the of course, the first of the Lounge gigs is them is to turn up and see for yourself. unfilled posts nominations will be taken tonight with Miss America and Spirit of The price is £2 in advance from the from the floor so please turn up. Ecstacy in a co-headline slot. Union Office or if you are lazy £2.50 on These gigs are on a smaller scale than the door. If you are lucky enough to hold Publicity / Posters our Freshers' Week events. They are in an Ents card, £1 will get you entry (both Sorry if you got your posters taken down the Lounge in the Union Building and we in advance and on the door—if there's earlier in the week. It was part of start off at 9pm with the funky happening any tickets left). Also the night's College's clean up campaign for Disco and then after a bit, Spirit of entertainment will feature a late-bar until Commemoration Day. Clubs and Societies Ecstacy will be performing live. This is lam—enough time to dull your inhibitions please note that the fine for publicity one of the best of the Manchester-type so you can strut your funky stuff until infringing the ICU rules is 25p per poster bands. Yes, you may say 'so what, they 2am. Can you go wrong? (per day). all sound the same' but how wrong you Next week we have the Muscle Shoal would be. Spirit of Ecstacy have a very plus support. Tickets are now available Commemoration Ball original sound—they seem to take snipits for this—they can be purchased tonight or This ball, for the 1990 Graduates, was from a wide variety of musical styles— any time from now from the Union held last night. I hope those College from the waa-waa guitar to the full blown Office. More about this next week. members that went enjoyed themselves power chords with a tight rhythm section P.S. I would like to point out that IC as much as we did. make an excellent base for the powerful Ents had no connection with the Dr and vocal tracks (including a very nice the Medics disaster on Saturday October Thanks harmony). They are currently being hotly 20. We were called in to run the event— To BJ, Emma, Dom and all the Ents pursued by record company executives the organisation was not up to us—don't crew, Mylan, Richard, Graham, Nick and from all over the country. T have no let it influence your decision to turn up in the ICDS Technies, Shan & Ben for recent doubt that these boys will be very big'— future—all our gigs are organised to a help, in particular on Saturday and last Ian Brown (well he may of said it). very high standard so that you can get night's functions. Also thanks to Tim and Miss America have a different sound the most enjoyment for the least amount Mark for letting my team win the C&G again with a slightly more commercial of money. Turn up tonight and see for MC Treasure Hunt. sound but still a kicking backbeat and yourself. 20