Keeping Our Bearings with Difficult People
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BEST PRACTICES Betsy Raskin Gullickson, Editor Keeping Our Bearings with The fishermen in Discovery Channel’s The Deadliest Catch Difficult People routinely deal with dangerous conditions caused by the ele- equipment—cages weighing hun- freeze when they come in contact ments. Those of us working in dreds of pounds apiece—during with metal, adding tons of weight offices don’t operate in life- intense work shifts, as much as to the boats and making them top threatening situations, but we 40 hours out of 50. The work heavy and at greater risk of tip- may see some parallels between would be physically demanding ping or sinking, much like the col- the deadly weather and some under the best of conditions, but league who throws cold water on of our difficult colleagues. crab fishing takes place between initiatives. October and January, when arctic A European executive is all-too- weather is extreme. The elements familiar with this kind of difficult hile surfers and swimmers have uncomfortable parallels in person: “We were colleagues at the Ware told to stay home when the work climate. Let’s take a look same hierarchical level; then I got Great White sharks appear close to at some. promoted, and he sort of needed shore, nobody closes the beach Howling Wind. Even when to provoke me to see how I would because of a crab sighting. Yet it’s storms blow winds up to 40 to 50 react. For example, I used to plan Alaskan crabs at the center of the knots, crew members must make the timetables for the week for all Discovery Channel program, The their way across the deck or stand the staff; he would come to me Deadliest Catch. ready and steady at the rail. Just as while I was doing that and com- The hit series follows captains we must keep going in the face of ment on my choices. It made the and crew as they ply the Bering a coworker’s tantrums. hairs rise on the back of my neck; Sea. Its “deadliest” designation For example, one executive just seeing him come through the isn’t just a TV pitchman’s hyper- coach reports, “One client is hav- door would make my temperature bole. The Alaskan shellfish indus- ing a difficult time with a ‘partner’ go up.” try averaged 400 deaths per who is very emotional, accusatory, Rogue Waves. Not only does 100,000 workers during the 1990s. with no ability to stop and see her the Bering Sea whip up 40-foot That’s more than triple the rate for part in things. My client isn’t the rollers; unusually high crests— lumbermen, ranked No. 1 among only one who has trouble with this perhaps 60 feet high—also arise the most dangerous jobs in the person. She creates havoc wherever spontaneously. They can knock a United States by the Bureau of she goes; she stands in the way of boat sideways or pitch it over. An Labor Statistics in 2002, as report- forward progress and blames office “rogue wave” walks in on a ed by CNN/Money.com. But it everyone around her. But she has a smoothly running project and isn’t because the fishermen’s target tremendous amount of power. Her generates uproar. is inherently dangerous—crabs are boss is afraid of her and so is HR.” Such a colleague bothered hardly man-eaters. Rather, the Ice. Alaska’s crab boats must Mary, a star performer promoted risks are ratcheted up by the con- sometimes dodge the kind of to team leader. After six months in ditions that the fishermen endure. bergs that sank the Titanic. Even her new position, Mary was find- They manipulate cumbersome more insidious, mist and spray ing her stride. Everything clicked 8 STRATEGIC FINANCE I October 2009 BEST PRACTICES as she provided oversight for a Blow winds, and smoothly with him.” week-long event at a remote loca- The client facing Howling Wind tion. The Friday kickoff went crack your cheeks. is “working hard to just stay swimmingly. When Mary headed under the radar and be kind, home late Saturday night, the Rage, blow, You which is very challenging,” reports team was handling things smooth- cataracts and his coach. “His goal now is to deal ly, and all stakeholders gave glow- with the storm without being ing feedback. So Mary felt hurricanoes… triggered. I encourage him to justifiably proud as she walked imagine he’s the mountain that into her office Monday morning. I tax you not, you stands still as a storm passes, the And then the company’s “rogue person who can observe it and wave” struck. When Mary turned elements, with say, ‘I’ve seen this before, and it, on her computer, she found a too, shall pass.’” carping e-mail from a peer who unkindness… These scenarios point to a key had gone to the event on Sunday distinction. What makes people and felt that piece of the project King Lear, by William difficult isn’t that they’re tempera- was below standards. Barely man- Shakespeare mental or volatile, malicious or aging to keep panic at bay—could vicious. What they say or do, no everything have fallen apart in the matter how outlandish, is difficult few hours after she left; would her Mary decided enough was only when it triggers something in boss demand an explanation— enough. She realized that she had us that makes it hard for us to Mary started making phone calls. no control over her colleague’s keep our bearings. She sorted through the colleague’s penchant for criticism and agita- Over and over on The Deadliest complaints, dealing with the tion, but she could choose to Catch, the Alaskan crab fishermen grains of truth and clearing up respond differently. Mary switched offer the same lesson. When they misconceptions. By noon, she had her thinking from listing all the hear that one of their own has made some adjustments and ways her colleague is wrong to been lost at sea, they don’t get restored the confidence of her exploring how she can keep her angry at the crabs or rage at the team. But she felt deflated. bearings no matter what that col- weather. They know that the wind “This person does that kind of league does. is going to howl, ice is going to thing all the time,” Mary com- The other sufferers cited in this form, and unpredictable waves are plained, “and not just to me. Just column have come to similar going to surge. Those are forces of seeing her name in my inbox insights. nature that mere humans can’t makes me cringe. She’s always “One day I decided to talk to change. going to find fault with something my former peer,” says the executive And so are our coworkers. We and rile everybody up. She ruins dealing with Ice, “setting up some can’t eliminate the difficult people my day.” ground rules we would both from our offices or our lives. But But something remarkable hap- respect—doing my best to find we can stay alert and aware and pened for Mary: She heard herself common ground and increase our find ways to keep our bearings— talking like a victim—“She ruins level of awareness about what no matter what, or who, my day”—and began to reflect. was going on. Keeping my cool happens. SF Mary realized that nothing had couldn’t be done by an effort of really happened. No business had will. It had to be done by backing Betsy Raskin Gullickson is an been lost; she hadn’t been called away from the situation and executive coach and coauthor, with on the carpet. The only damage assessing my reaction, not allow- Bob Gunn, of On the High Wire: was to Mary’s mood. She’d let her ing myself to be the victim. I kept How to Survive Being Promoted. difficult colleague hijack her saying, ‘Act, don’t react,’ so most You can reach her at bgullickson@ thoughts…again. of the time I was able to work sbcglobal.net. 10 STRATEGIC FINANCE I October 2009.