® “All the Gnus Weather: Seasonable That Fit, We Print” The New Times changeable VOL. V....No. 1 —WINTER 1986— INTERZOOECIAL EDITION Now Introducing...BALLYHOO! You always wanted to join the glamorous as a tarnished piece of circus, didn't you? Heck, we all did. costume jewelry. Rather than The only question was whether to applauding your efforts to find the put on clown makeup, walk the child, the circus folk see you as an highwire, or brave the wild beasts. outsider messing about in their very Now you get to do all these things, private business. You find yourself in 's new puzzle-packed getting a quick lesson in the daring mystery, Ballyhoo™. stunts you admired from afar, as you Ballyhoo sets you down outside the seek clues and dodge danger. big top at the end of the show. As the To get you ready for the big time, last circus-goers filter out the gate, the Ballyhoo package includes a you decide to stick around. Maybe colorful circus program, a balloon, a you'll get to see an impromptu clown trade card for Dr. Nostrum's act, or watch the late-night feedings Herbified Extract, and your ticket to of the exotic animals, or peek at the Spangleland. The program intro- gadgets and glitter inside the prop duces you to the unique characters tent. Maybe you'll even get to meet you'll meet in the story and gives you that gorgeous trapese artist or those a glimpse of life in the back lot. high-wire hunks! In Ballyhoo, you'll need to solve But no such luck. Instead you're puzzles in order to solve the crime. plunged into a mysterious As a standard-level game, it's a great underworld where everyone has a introduction to our mystery line. And Included in this and every Ballyhoo package are your Ballyhoo disk, secret to keep — and no one wants to when you leave the circus, keep hon- your ticket to the circus, a program to The Travelling Circus That clue you in. Exploring the seedy ing your investigative skills with our Time Forgot, Inc., a trade card for Dr. Nostrum’s Herbified Extract, corners of the lot, you overhear a other popular whodunits — Dead- and a bright red balloon. conversation about the owner's line®, The Witness®, and Suspect™. young daughter. She's been kid- Ballyhoo was written by Jeff An Heirloom to Cherish — napped, and the hired gumshoe finds O'Neill, who fulfilled the promise of his bottle more engaging than the the American dream by rising from Yours From Infocom! case. game tester to game designer at Imagine the thrill of owning an version are available for your IBM, It looks like you've got two Infocom. Ballyhoo joins a distinctive authentic numbered, autographed Apple, or Commodore. And only 75 choices: forget about the tot, or set list of great "first works" of interac- copy of Infocom's latest interactive per version are available for your off on a search of your own. tive fiction, including Zork® I (by mystery, Ballyhoo! Imagine the envy Atari, Atari ST, Amiga, or Mac- Naturally, you go for the role of and ), of your friends and neighbors when intosh. hero. Suspended® (by ), you proudly display this rare edition! We're sure you'd pay plenty for an As the night progresses, you ® (by ), The And imagine the tears of gratitude heirloom item of this caliber. But realize that the life of a hero, like the Witness (by Stu Galley), and Wish- when you pass this valuable even more unbelievably, this special back yard of the big top, is about as bringer™ (by ). heirloom on to your children fifty edition is available at the regular years hence! price of only $39.95! To order, Unbelievable as it seems, this simply call our toll-free number Fooblitzky Keeps Puzzle-Solvers Busy wonderful opportunity can be yours! (800-262-6868). But hurry! This is a A limited edition of Ballyhoo signed first-come-first-served offer! Most of you fans right items. And every time you and numbered by author Jeff O'Neill Don't miss the chance to own love the puzzles in Infocom's games. bring items to City Hall, you'll be is now available exclusively through a copy of the very first Infocom But many of you may not realize that told how many of the items you have The New Zork Times. These are the limited edition! Amaze your friends! puzzle-solving is also an important are right. However, you won't be told very first copies to roll off the Satisfy your desire for the best! part of Infocom's first graphics which items are right. Given the production lines! Only 150 per Order today! strategy game, Fooblitzky™. Here is a following information, can you tell Fooblitzky-like logic puzzle; see if which are the 4 right items? you can figure it out. Items costing 4 foobles: banana, are different. sardines, a hot dog, a pig, and a saw, Imagine a town where stores sell fish, hair spray, and screwdriver 1. Player 1 goes to City Hall with and learns that he is carrying 1 right only 12 items, and where the Items costing 8 foobles: light bulb, a banana, a snake, an eyedropper, item. currency is "foobles." Now suppose sardines, snake, and toothpaste and a pig, and learns that she's carry- 4. Player 4 goes to City Hall with a contest is held in the town, and 4 of Items costing 16 foobles: eye- ing 2 right items. hair spray, toothpaste, and a saw, and the items are secretly designated dropper, hot dog, pig, and saw 2. Player 2 goes to City Hall with learns that she's carrying 1 right "right items." Your goal is to figure Suppose you're told that one of the a banana, a light bulb, and a snake, item. out what the 4 right items are. right items costs 4 foobles, one costs and learns that he too is carrying 2 With this information, you should To help you out, city officials tell 8 foobles, and two cost 16 foobles. right items. be able to deduce what the 4 right you the cost (in foobles) of the 4 Assume that the two 16-fooble items 3. Player 3 goes to City Hall with (continued on page 5) PAGE 2 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986 Humor Liberation Front Disrupts Meeting Dozens of Humor Liberation Front quickly adjourned to the company Fooblitzky that was handed to them The conclusion of experts who members and their supporters punch bowl. The accompanying just before the meeting. The only have studied this scintillatingly disrupted the November employee photograph was taken just as the real other person who might have been madcap escapade is that it is only the meeting of Infocom Inc. which took Mr. Vezza was asked to stand. alerted to what was about to happen first round in a new offensive place at the company's sprawling When questioned about security, was Lorri Fischer, who was manning offensive. As they said, the inability CambridgePark facility. an unnamed source said that the only the reception desk during the meet- of Infocom security forces to capture The operation is believed to have two guards on duty at the time, ing. When questioned, Ms. Fischer even one of the punsters was sure to been masterminded and carried out Infocom General Manager John said, "I didn't really see anything inspire an increased bravado and by the radically twisted faction of the O'Leary and Product Manager Tom strange but I did think it was odd willingness to commit further acts of Humor Liberation Front known as Smaldone, were distracted by a when Al asked me 43 times if he chicanery. the Dimwit Flathead Brigade. There special in-house X-rated version of could bring me a glass of punch." is also evidence that suggests a shadowy group from the Genetics Institute, an Infocom neighbor and producer of genetically engineered facial cleaners, acted in a support role. The disruption took place near the beginning of the meeting and involved the use of what Infocom security expert Mike Quinn has called Cloned Entry Operatives, or CEO's. Quinn explained that CEO's were an advanced type of identity transformation device. In this latest act of mirth, the HLF infiltrated over five dozen of these CEO's into the meeting by disguising them as exact duplicates of Infocom Chief Executive Officer Al Vezza. Once inside the CEO, CEO's instigated an atmosphere of such intense hilarity that the meeting was

in each other's company and later less have a basis in truth, thereby The HLF: Ruthless and Unpredictable weds for real. The HLF seizes on causing mass confusion and this as proof of the "righteous- paranoia. The recent invasion of an Infocom innocent, and Poh Lim is found ness of our cause." = July 1984 — The HLF's next Inc. company meeting by elements guilty and sentenced to life in the = March 1984 — The HLF stages target is education. By staging a of the Humor Liberation Front Graphics Group. However, most a "fun" snowball fight. It is goofy graduation ceremony for reminds us once again that we must feel that Mr. Lim is just a actually a cover for a wave of Infocom CEO Al Vezza, the be ever vigilant in the fight for good scapegoat in some shadowy reprisals against the "unfunny." HLF sends out the message to clean fun. The picture of this humor- conspiracy. The HLF is born and = April 1984 — In an effort to one and all that outside education crime, with so many innocent people three goldfish die in the name of control the rising power of the is a joke and that the HLF will be left in stitches, is a grim reminder of fun. HLF, Infocom forms FunCom. the sole arbiters of all learning. the past excesses of this group. = December 1983 — In a move to This conservative group starts by = August 1985 — After months of The Humor Liberation Front was take over and control the hearts taking over the running of the inactivity the HLF returns in formed out of a ragtag bunch of dis- and minds of Infocom employ- weekly Friday parties. The HLF force with a riotous public gruntled thrill seekers who were ees, the HLF publishes the strikes back by forcing the par- rehabilitation of Micro Group working for the playful yet rational wildly funny but scandalous ties to take on funny but strange supervisor, Dan Horn. In the software development company, newspaper Infodope. Fun-Think themes. One party features ba- form of the game show "To Tell Infocom. In their quest for "fun" was is born. The company laughs as bies floating in the punch bowl The Truth," Horn's idiosynchra- planted the seed of anarchy that has lives are trashed and reputations to commemorate a recent birth. sies and individualism are torn once again shown its ugly face in are dragged through the mud. Another party, in honor of apart by a panel of disguised recent events. This latest attack is no = February 1984 — The HLF now Secretaries Week, degenerates HLF operatives. isolated event. We have only to look moves to control all social life at into a wild melee of acrobatics These are the facts. The HLF has back a short time to see the pattern: Infocom. In a powerful show of after HLF spikes the water been responsible for a continuing = November 1983 — A chill farce, the group stages a "model" cooler. "fun war," the aim of which is no Autumn day is shattered when a wedding. Steve Meretzky and = May 1984 — The HLF again less than all-out domination of series of vile, trumped-up murder Betty Rock, dressed in zany strikes at the Infocom communi- humor. The recent attack on the charges are leveled at Info-tester pseudo-religious costumes, are cation network by instituting the Infocom meeting is proof positive Dave Anderson. The infamous forced into a sham marriage. Memo War. In this ongoing cam- that the Humor Liberation Front is Fish Trial ensues. When the Never able to cope with the hu- paign, the HLF sent out dozens alive and well and capable of striking smoke clears Anderson is miliation, the couple finds solace of funny memos that neverthe- at will. WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 3 Check It Out Mail Bag

Where do you go to learn which one in which nearly every conceiv- Dear Sir: Precipice products give you the best value for able avenue of action has been I am presently a scientist at Amund- As you clamber onto the your money? Consumer Reports, foreseen, and every consequence sen-Scott South Pole Station, precipice, you note a rather large right? Well, in the November issue, described in colorful, descriptive Antarctica, having left the United yak regarding you with studied Infocom stories received high marks prose." And for all you Douglas States a month ago. One of the last indifference. in a survey of computer games. Adams fans, Changing Times noted things I did before I left was to >SAY HELLO Ratings were based on the results of that "Adam's unique brand of hilar- purchase your adventure Yaks can't talk, but this one a questionnaire asking Consumer ity is obvious in every response and since I knew there was an IBM-PC acknowledges your presence Reports readers to list the games every twist of the ever-twisting plot down here. So far, I haven't been with a sagacious nod. they played and then evaluate each in this original adventure game." able to get across the river (mainly product's intellectual challenge, ease We've been getting in a lot of good because I have been too busy). I >YAK, WHERE IS THE MONK? of learning, sustained interest, and comments on A Mind Forever have shown it to several co-workers The yak smiles enigmatically. overall satisfaction. Only games Voyaging™ from the members of our who are also hooked on it! >YAK, YAK mentioned by at least 50 respondents Infocom Elite Adventurers Society The last plane leaves for the were included in the ratings. (in case you've forgotten, that's all of winter on February 10, and the next The yak stares back. Of the 31 games listed, 11 were you). Reviewers like AMFV, too. one will be November 1, after the >GIVE GOAT CHEESE TO YAK "logic-and-fantasy," including Ms. Magazine called it "one of the ® Antarctic 9-month winter. Your You can't be serious! Enchanter , The Hitchhiker's Guide season's most intriguing new game will help us through the long ™ >KILL SELF WITH GOAT to the Galaxy , Zork I, Zork II, and games." And an editor at Billboard hours of darkness and cold (the sun CHEESE Zork III. Enchanter and Hitchhiker's wrote to say, "A Mind Forever will be gone for 6 months, and it obtained particularly good ratings in Voyaging is the best game Infocom will drop to -110 degrees F)! We as You can't go that way. all four categories. Consumer has produced yet. All I know is that a group have nominated Zork I as >JUMP OFF PRECIPICE Reports noted that fantasy games in I started it when it was dark and the unofficial computer game of the general were considered "far more broke off when I noticed it was As you leave for your final re- South Pole, and we'd like to let you ward, you feel the yak's teeth satisfying" than action games. daylight." know we appreciate the quality and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the And to start the new year on the grab the seat of your pants. Back entertainment of this game! on solid ground, you watch as Galaxy continues to provide satis- right foot (the one that wears the Sincerely, faction in lots of places. A recent unutterably-schmaltzy-pride-in-our- the yak's form shifts and blurs, to Clifford C. Wilson become -- the monk. review in Gentlemen's Quarterly product shoe), we offer the follow- FPO San Francisco, CA called it a game "you read instead of ing quote from a >SAY HELLO bleep." Added GQ, "Unlike conven- review in A+ Magazine: "Have you Dear Infocom: Monks don't talk, but this one tional novels, Infocom's variety lets figured out what you'd wish for if I read the "Yak Facts" in your acknowledges your presence the reader pave his own path through you had the chance? I don't even with a sagacious nod... the prose, creating a unique tale need a moment to consider. I want Spring '85 newsletter with interest, Mark Cantrell every time." more Infocom games. When specifically, "A herd of yaks can Canal Point, Florida Hitchhiker's was also featured in Infocom releases a new game, the migrate over seven thousand miles

Home Computer Magazine, which question that goes through your in a single day." Realizing that this To the editor: "found it to be all the challenge a minds should not be 'Should I get the was in excess of 290 mph, I immedi- Wilfurd the Hard-Shelled Turtle presumably sound-minded adult game?' but, rather, 'When should I ately sold my car and visited my yak Wilfurd the hard-shelled turtle would desire. It is an articulate, get the game?'. And the answer dealer (located in Lima, Peru). The (turtle) detailed, and demanding game — should always be 'Immediately.'" salesperson did make an odd comment about top yak speeds being Had a rainbow-colored shell (shell). obtainable only "in high altitude If you had ever EXEX-ed it areas," and "terminal velocity may (EXEX-ed it), vary." And that the 7,000-mile range You would even say it shimmers ® required an extra available through (like Jello). The New Zork Times United Airlines. No doubt these are All of the other turtles (turtles) just meaningless disclaimers Used to laugh and call him names required by the Peruvian EPA. (like Skittles). Writers Gary Brennan, Paul Gross, Elizabeth I hope you continue to keep your Poor Wilfurd the hard-shelled turtle Langosy, Dave Lebling, Steve Meretzky, "Yak Facts" clean. The yearly yak (turtle) issues of Sports Illustrated are Couldn't join in any turtle games Jeff O’Neill, Jonathan Palace, Betty disgraceful. (like Zork). Rock, Tom Veldran Somewhat sincerely, Then one foggy enchanted eve, John S. Kalstram Belboz came to say (NITFOL), Production Cynthia Curtis, Jonathan Palace, P.S. What’s the mgp on an emu? "Wilfurd with your shell so hard, Betty Rock, Michelle Simpson, Gayle Won't you get that scroll for me?" Syska To the editor: Then all the turtles loved him (loved him). © 1986 Infocom, Inc., 125 CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, MA 02140 The following is an excerpt from a Then they shouted out with glee (I particularly annoying segment of mean turtle wax), Zork, Enchanter, Deadline, The Witness, Starcross, Suspended, Planetfall, Infidel, and are registered trademarks of Infocom, Inc. Ballyhoo, Wishbringer, Sorcerer, , Suspect, A Mind Yakstalker, a new interactive "Wilfurd the hard-shelled turtle! Forever Voyaging, Cutthroats, Fooblitzky, , Tales of Adventure, Interactive Fiction Plus, and adventure by the National Associa- You'll go down in Sor-cer-y (like InvisiClues are trademarks of Infocom, Inc. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a trademark of . tion for the Advancement of Yaks Enchanter)!" (N.A.A.Y.). Jun A. Akiyama PAGE 4 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986 Robert Prokop Cartoon Editor Inundated Since we first announced our cartoon or her choice. If you'd like to try, contest a year ago (NZT, Winter '85) send us your cartoon in black ink on we have received an increasing white, unlined paper. No pencil or barrage of entries — over 400 colors, and don't fold your cartoon! through early December. All submissions become property of Therefore, we've decided to print Infocom, Inc. Send your entries to this huge spread of cartoons. We'll NZT Cartoons, Infocom, Inc., 125 continue to print more than one per CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, issue as long as we continue to MA 02140. Include a separate sheet receive such a high volume of good of paper with your name and cartoons. address, as well as the title of the Every cartoonist whose work is game you'd like to win, and the printed in The New Zork Times computer system it should run on. receives a free Infocom game of his

Oscar Chavarria

H. Goodman

George Tsai WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 5

Dave Kaplan Jeff Martin

“Yeah, Sarge, we got ´im. Breaking and entering, possession of stolen goods, tampering with the mails, concealing weapons, a sword with blood all over it, and you should see the basement!”

John Morrow Mark Cantrell

Fooblitzky is a lot like your package contains a game disk, short Fooblitzky (continued from page 1) favorite board game: you play rules (to get you started), long rules against your friends or family rather (to answer any questions that might than against the computer. As in come up), 4 colorful wipe-clean items are. (In a real game of can bump into other players to steal interactive fiction, there are dozens worksheets, and marker pens. Fooblitzky, you couldn't assume that their items; buy or sell items at the or hundreds of alternatives at every Included in the instructions are the two 16-fooble items are different. pawn shows at discount prices; ride turn. And there are so many suggestions for game variations. Try deducing the 4 right items again, the UGH (the underground gliding possibilities in Fooblitzky, no two Fooblitzky costs $39.95 and is this time allowing the two 16-fooble highway) to move around the city games are alike. We've even put available for the IBM PC with 128K items to be the same or different. Is quickly; hide items from other several variations into the program, and a graphics card (but not the there more than one possibility? players in lockers; and so on. And so you can make the game easier, PCjr), for the Atari XL and XE with Answers on page 6.) the Chance Man can show up any harder, or stranger. 48K plus an 810 or 1050 disk drive, Figuring out the right items is just time, sometimes to help you, and Fooblitzky is available only and for the Apple II series with part of the fun in Fooblitzky. You sometimes to hinder you. through The New Zork Times. Each 128K. PAGE 6 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986

Answers to Puzzle Number Seven many people were discouraged by 8. Betty Scourby the "early" deadline. Of those, 26 Brooklyn, NY were correct (54%). 9. R. Reid Hutchinson There was a problem with Puzzle E. 5 The most common wrong answer Rockville, MD Seven, but it wasn't really our fault. F. 7 was K. This seems to be due to 10. Mike Smith To be specific: G. 7 people calculating the number of San Pedro, CA You may have fond memories of H. 8 days it took your expedition to reach 11. Greg Haas the company that used to print and I. 12 the campsite, not the number of days Weymouth, MA mail The New Zork Times, as well as J. 12 it took Ellingsworth's 1920 expedi- 12. Gary Laskowski fill mail orders for games and K. 12 tion to reach the campsite. (See the Roseville, MI InvisiClues™. Fond memories like L. 21 note on the parchment map.) 13. Charles M. Carter, Jr. ordering a copy of Deadline for your M. 25 We also have a new statistic for Richmond, VA Kaypro and receiving a copy of N. 29 Puzzle Seven: percentage of people 14. Tony Ard Infidel® for a TRS-80 Model I seven O. 47 complaining. Thirty-three percent of Tillamook, OR months later. We emphasize "used P. 51 all entries contained notes or letters 15. Carole Weyandt to," because last year we switched to Q. 55 complaining about the deadline. Claysburg, PA a much more reliable company. R. 64 Since there were 26 correct 16. Mary Foss To keep a long story long, this S. 73 answers, only one entrant got the Flora, IL original company was a bit peeved T. 75 correct answer but no T-shirt: 17. Paul Mattia when we decided to take our U. 75 Maggie Dupuis, who will probably Sterling, VA business elsewhere; they proceeded V. 90.8 spend weeks avoiding ladders, black 18. Kurt Culler to go down in a blaze of glory by W. 134 cats, and broken (or breaking) mir- Redford, MI refusing to turn over the computer X. 155 rors. Here are the other twenty-five: 19. Ted Durant tapes containing our New Zork Times Y. 192 1. E. Gene Simpson South Sioux City, NE mailing list, of which they had the Z. 200 Mountain View, CA 20. Ben Bunnell only copies. Were it not for some AA. 300 2. Ed Schraut Rustburg, VA high-powered maneuvering by our BB. 312 Sumter, SC 21. Paul Thoms lawyers, the Summer '85 issue of The CC. 350 3. Matthew Strange Whittier, CA New Zork Times might have never DD. 351 Mansfield, PA 22. David Rowell come out; as it was, most people EE. 467 4. Mary Sauer Marietta, NY received their copies between late FF. 1000 Circleville, OH 23. Andy Plotkin October and mid-November GG. 1308 5. Sue Whitman Rockville, MD (depending on the vagaries of bulk HH. 1327 Lexington, NC 24. Neil R. Polo rate mail). II. 753 6. Robert Wagner Yardley, PA Among the problems caused by JJ. 1698 Cleveland, OH 25. Michael Rudolph this delay was that most people KK. 1868 7. Daniel Louie Los Angeles, CA received their issue after the deadline LL. 1887 Burke, VA for Puzzle Seven! Naturally, we MM. 1920 decided to extend the deadline, to NN. 1937 December 1. We like to think of it OO. 2138 NZT Puzzle Winners Update this way: realizing that you could PP. 4216 still enter after November 1 was just QQ. 4986 Ever since stone-hearted, Scrooge- InfoSentimentalists have beseiged the first obstacle of the puzzle! RR. 23,393 like Steve Meretzky announced that Steve. "Well, what if there were Here are all of the correct answers: SS. 23,521 there was only one correct puzzle twenty-seven correct entries? What A. 3.5 The correct answer, the one out of entry that wouldn't win an elegant, then?" snarled the fearsomely B. 4 numerical order, is II. We received a sought-after NZT Puzzle Winner bearded implementor. But yes, C. 5 mere 48 entries, either because the T-shirt, a groundswell of opposition Maggie, there is a T-shirt! Over D. 5 puzzle was difficult, or because to his callousness has been building. Steve's dead body (almost) a beauti- Poor Maggie Dupuis, shivering ful NZT T-shirt will soon wend its T-shirtless in Wisconsin, victim of way west to your humble abode. Answers to Fooblitzky Puzzle cruel chance! Vast contingents of Assuming that the two 16-fooble banana is a right item, no other items are different, the 4 right items 4-fooble item can be right. And Spellbreaker Event must be a banana, a light bulb, an because we know that either the light eyedropper, and a saw. If the two bulb or the snake is right, we know In an event inspired by equal parts of Lebling, the author of the game. 16-fooble items can be the same, that the other 8-fooble items can't be magic, Hollywood, and Flash After the event, the party adjourned another possibility exists: namely, right. Thus, from Player 4's visit to Gordon, Infocom announced its outside to gaze at the stars (those the 4 right items could be a banana, a City Hall, we know that the saw newest fantasy title, Spellbreaker™. few visible through what passes for snake, a saw, and another saw. must be a right item (since the The event was held October 1, in the an atmosphere in the LA area). There are many ways to figure this 4-fooble hair spray and the 8-fooble art-deco, 1930's-style Griffith Park Infocom's contingent made a futile out. For those of you who are toothpaste can't be right). Get the Observatory in the hills overlooking effort to raise the general level of completely stumped, look again at idea? Los Angeles. Guests were shown a elegance and formality at the event: Player 2's visit to City Hall. He's Don't worry if you didn't figure out spectacular laser show, fed on columnist Jerry Pournelle remarked, carrying 3 items, and 2 of them are this Fooblitzky puzzle. Players can champagne and strawberries, and "It's a sad day when a game com- right. Since the light bulb and the visit City Hall as often as they want. treated (if that's the right word) to pany requires its people to wear snake can't both be right items (since In a real game, information usually remarks by InfoEventperson Renata ties." There was a general rush for they both cost 8 foobles), the banana comes in bits and pieces, rather than Daroszewska, by InfoMarketing's the few dozen incredibly elegant must be a right item. And since the all at once, as in this example. Mike Dornbrook and by Dave Enchanters Guild pins, however. WINTER 1986 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE 7

NEW ZORK TIMES PUZZLE NUMBER 9

Archivists everywhere, rejoice! The New Zork Times Puzzle Rules Dim halos of light barely pierce Number Five: Committee (NZTPRC), in session at their annual winter meeting, approved a the fog that drifts across the General's Office significant change to the venerable puzzle rules: Entrants will no longer be airfield. A propellor revs to life This is the office of General Jack required to cut up their copies of the NZT in order to enter the puzzle. A nearby. D. Ripper. The General's desk photocopy of the entry form will now be accepted! (Well, there really isn't a Ilsa Lund is here, her eyes moist. sits in front of wide, venetian Rules Committee. Mike Dornbrook just decided that his reasons for not Louis Renault, the Prefect of blind-covered windows. Doors allowing photocopies were all silly.) Police, stands nearby. lead south, to the hall, and west, For a change of pace, here's a puzzle that requires no knowledge of specific to the General's private bathroom. works of Infocom's interactive fiction. The following seven excerpts are each >I >SOUTH from hypothetical works of interactive fiction, based on films and TV shows You are carrying: "I'm afraid I can't allow you to of various types. Your task is to determine the name of the character you play a gun letters of transit leave until the bombers have in each excerpt. Both first and last name are required in cases where they finished their mission," says the exist. The name of the actor who portrayed the character is not acceptable. To >ILSA, GET ON THE PLANE General, chomping on his cigar help you get started, we have filled in the first answer. "You'll have to do the thinking for stub. both of us." Number One: The little white flakes flurry >GENERAL, TELL ME ABOUT

Bedroom, in the canopied bed around inside the ball, resembling THE MISSION Number Three: You are in a vast bedroom, filled a snowfall. "I can no longer sit idly by and with antique statues, heated by >SAY "ROSEBUD" Canyon allow the Communists to fluori- an enormous fireplace. With the word still hanging on You are in a dry arroyo between date our water and sap our pre- towering, wind-carved cliffs of cious bodily fluids." >LOOK AT THE TRINKET your lips, an enormous weariness brown and yellow rocks. The trinket is a little glass ball, overwhelms you. The ball drops filled with water, depicting a win- from your hand and smashes on There is a shipping carton here. Number Six: the ground. ter scene. Some white particles The shipping carton contains: Porch are settled at the bottom of the **** You have died. **** a strange, belt-like machine This is the weathered front porch ball. >READ THE SHIPPING of the house. A closed screen door leads westward into the >SHAKE THE TRINKET Number Two: CARTON (taking the trinket first) "Acme Rocket Belt" house. You can leave the porch Airport to the east. >PUT ON THE ROCKET BELT You are now wearing the rocket Mr. Martin is standing in the doorway. ANSWERS belt. 1) Charles Foster Kane >FIRE THE ROCKET BELT There is a particularly yummy bone here. 2) ______You shoot upwards and smash into an overhanging cliff. The >BARK 3) ______impact sends you shooting "What! Timmy's fallen down and 4) ______downward, imbedding your body broken his leg! Where?" 5) ______halfway into the ground. The >BARK overhand, which has broken 6) ______"In the old Johnson barn! Let's loose, lands on top of you. go!" 7) ______

Name: ______Number Four: Number Seven: Address: ______Living Area Near the El ______This is the central room of the You are standing at a downtown house, filled with couches, exotic T-shirt size (S, M, L, XL): ______intersection, next to the elevated plants, and a table laden with subway. Streets lead off in all four fruit. RULES: | directions. 1. All entries must be submitted on this form OR A PHOTOCOPY OF Dr. Morbius and several crew A subway car is passing by. THIS FORM. members are here, engaged in conversation. >DESTROY THE SUBWAY CAR 2. All entries must be received by March 1, 1986. You push the car off the tracks. It Morbius hands you an object, 3. Limit of one entry per person. crashes to the ground below, which you immediately analyze to spilling screaming passengers out 4. Up to 25 prizes will be awarded. If more than 25 correct answers are be a simple blaster. Morbius asks, into the street, and crushing doz- received, a drawing will be held to determine the winners. Void "Have you analyzed it?" ens of pedestrians. where prohibited by law, of course. >MORBIUS, YES [Your score has just gone up by PRIZE: A New Zork Times Puzzle Winner T-shirt "What is it?" 10 points!] SEND TO: Infocom, Inc. >REPLY "A SIMPLE BLASTER" >INVENTORY NZT Puzzle Morbius nods. "Point the blaster You are carrying: 125 CambridgePark Drive at the Captain." Ann Darrow Cambridge, MA 02140 PAGE 8 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986 Save $300 and get

2 free Infocom stories When you buy CORNERSTONE™ for your IBM PC

Anyone who needs to organized information—from managers of large corporations to small business owners and self-employed professionals—can benefit from a good database. But many of us have neither the time nor the inclination to learn the programming skills needed to operate a full-featured system. CORNERSTONE was designed to put all the power of a sophisticated relational database into the hands of non-programmers Rave reviews from users and the press indicate that CORNERSTONE is well worth its usual price of $495. Now we’re giving you, our loyal NZT readers, the opportunity to buy CORNERSTONE for only $195. Plus you get 2 free Infocom stories. This is a limited time offer, so order today! Call 1-800-262-6868 or use the attached form.

Please print clearly. Mail your completed form to o Enclosed is $195. (N.J. residents add 6% sales tax.) INFOCOM, P.O. Box 478, Cresskill, NJ 07626. In addition to IBM Cornerstone, please send me the following two games: Name o Planetfall® o Starcross® ® Address o Suspended o Sorcerer™ o Seastalker® o The Witness® City State Zip o Deadline® o Cutthroats™ Country (if not U.S.) o Suspect™ ® Please indicate the payment method you choose. Make check o Infidel payable to INFOCOM, Inc. (Please do not send cash.)

o Check o Money Order o MasterCard o Visa o American Express

Card # Exp. Date

Signature Date No substitution allowed for the above games. This offer expires March 31, 1986.

In Center Ring: U.S. Postage BALLYHOO PAID Bulk Rate (story on page 1) P.O. Box 478 Permit No. 17 Cresskill, NJ 07626 Avon, MA 02322 A Brand-New New Zork Times Puzzle (see page 7)

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