® “All the Gnus Weather: Seasonable That Fit, We Print” The New Zork Times changeable VOL. V....No. 1 —WINTER 1986— INTERZOOECIAL EDITION Now Introducing...BALLYHOO! You always wanted to join the glamorous as a tarnished piece of circus, didn't you? Heck, we all did. costume jewelry. Rather than The only question was whether to applauding your efforts to find the put on clown makeup, walk the child, the circus folk see you as an highwire, or brave the wild beasts. outsider messing about in their very Now you get to do all these things, private business. You find yourself in Infocom's new puzzle-packed getting a quick lesson in the daring mystery, Ballyhoo™. stunts you admired from afar, as you Ballyhoo sets you down outside the seek clues and dodge danger. big top at the end of the show. As the To get you ready for the big time, last circus-goers filter out the gate, the Ballyhoo package includes a you decide to stick around. Maybe colorful circus program, a balloon, a you'll get to see an impromptu clown trade card for Dr. Nostrum's act, or watch the late-night feedings Herbified Extract, and your ticket to of the exotic animals, or peek at the Spangleland. The program intro- gadgets and glitter inside the prop duces you to the unique characters tent. Maybe you'll even get to meet you'll meet in the story and gives you that gorgeous trapese artist or those a glimpse of life in the back lot. high-wire hunks! In Ballyhoo, you'll need to solve But no such luck. Instead you're puzzles in order to solve the crime. plunged into a mysterious As a standard-level game, it's a great underworld where everyone has a introduction to our mystery line. And Included in this and every Ballyhoo package are your Ballyhoo disk, secret to keep — and no one wants to when you leave the circus, keep hon- your ticket to the circus, a program to The Travelling Circus That clue you in. Exploring the seedy ing your investigative skills with our Time Forgot, Inc., a trade card for Dr. Nostrum’s Herbified Extract, corners of the lot, you overhear a other popular whodunits — Dead- and a bright red balloon. conversation about the owner's line®, The Witness®, and Suspect™. young daughter. She's been kid- Ballyhoo was written by Jeff An Heirloom to Cherish — napped, and the hired gumshoe finds O'Neill, who fulfilled the promise of his bottle more engaging than the the American dream by rising from Yours From Infocom! case. game tester to game designer at Imagine the thrill of owning an version are available for your IBM, It looks like you've got two Infocom. Ballyhoo joins a distinctive authentic numbered, autographed Apple, or Commodore. And only 75 choices: forget about the tot, or set list of great "first works" of interac- copy of Infocom's latest interactive per version are available for your off on a search of your own. tive fiction, including Zork® I (by mystery, Ballyhoo! Imagine the envy Atari, Atari ST, Amiga, or Mac- Naturally, you go for the role of Marc Blank and Dave Lebling), of your friends and neighbors when intosh. hero. Suspended® (by Michael Berlyn), you proudly display this rare edition! We're sure you'd pay plenty for an As the night progresses, you Planetfall® (by Steve Meretzky), The And imagine the tears of gratitude heirloom item of this caliber. But realize that the life of a hero, like the Witness (by Stu Galley), and Wish- when you pass this valuable even more unbelievably, this special back yard of the big top, is about as bringer™ (by Brian Moriarty). heirloom on to your children fifty edition is available at the regular years hence! price of only $39.95! To order, Unbelievable as it seems, this simply call our toll-free number Fooblitzky Keeps Puzzle-Solvers Busy wonderful opportunity can be yours! (800-262-6868). But hurry! This is a A limited edition of Ballyhoo signed first-come-first-served offer! Most of you interactive fiction fans right items. And every time you and numbered by author Jeff O'Neill Don't miss the chance to own love the puzzles in Infocom's games. bring items to City Hall, you'll be is now available exclusively through a copy of the very first Infocom But many of you may not realize that told how many of the items you have The New Zork Times. These are the limited edition! Amaze your friends! puzzle-solving is also an important are right. However, you won't be told very first copies to roll off the Satisfy your desire for the best! part of Infocom's first graphics which items are right. Given the production lines! Only 150 per Order today! strategy game, Fooblitzky™. Here is a following information, can you tell Fooblitzky-like logic puzzle; see if which are the 4 right items? you can figure it out. Items costing 4 foobles: banana, are different. sardines, a hot dog, a pig, and a saw, Imagine a town where stores sell fish, hair spray, and screwdriver 1. Player 1 goes to City Hall with and learns that he is carrying 1 right only 12 items, and where the Items costing 8 foobles: light bulb, a banana, a snake, an eyedropper, item. currency is "foobles." Now suppose sardines, snake, and toothpaste and a pig, and learns that she's carry- 4. Player 4 goes to City Hall with a contest is held in the town, and 4 of Items costing 16 foobles: eye- ing 2 right items. hair spray, toothpaste, and a saw, and the items are secretly designated dropper, hot dog, pig, and saw 2. Player 2 goes to City Hall with learns that she's carrying 1 right "right items." Your goal is to figure Suppose you're told that one of the a banana, a light bulb, and a snake, item. out what the 4 right items are. right items costs 4 foobles, one costs and learns that he too is carrying 2 With this information, you should To help you out, city officials tell 8 foobles, and two cost 16 foobles. right items. be able to deduce what the 4 right you the cost (in foobles) of the 4 Assume that the two 16-fooble items 3. Player 3 goes to City Hall with (continued on page 5) PAGE 2 THE NEW ZORK TIMES WINTER 1986 Humor Liberation Front Disrupts Meeting Dozens of Humor Liberation Front quickly adjourned to the company Fooblitzky that was handed to them The conclusion of experts who members and their supporters punch bowl. The accompanying just before the meeting. The only have studied this scintillatingly disrupted the November employee photograph was taken just as the real other person who might have been madcap escapade is that it is only the meeting of Infocom Inc. which took Mr. Vezza was asked to stand. alerted to what was about to happen first round in a new offensive place at the company's sprawling When questioned about security, was Lorri Fischer, who was manning offensive. As they said, the inability CambridgePark facility. an unnamed source said that the only the reception desk during the meet- of Infocom security forces to capture The operation is believed to have two guards on duty at the time, ing. When questioned, Ms. Fischer even one of the punsters was sure to been masterminded and carried out Infocom General Manager John said, "I didn't really see anything inspire an increased bravado and by the radically twisted faction of the O'Leary and Product Manager Tom strange but I did think it was odd willingness to commit further acts of Humor Liberation Front known as Smaldone, were distracted by a when Al asked me 43 times if he chicanery. the Dimwit Flathead Brigade. There special in-house X-rated version of could bring me a glass of punch." is also evidence that suggests a shadowy group from the Genetics Institute, an Infocom neighbor and producer of genetically engineered facial cleaners, acted in a support role. The disruption took place near the beginning of the meeting and involved the use of what Infocom security expert Mike Quinn has called Cloned Entry Operatives, or CEO's. Quinn explained that CEO's were an advanced type of identity transformation device. In this latest act of mirth, the HLF infiltrated over five dozen of these CEO's into the meeting by disguising them as exact duplicates of Infocom Chief Executive Officer Al Vezza. Once inside the CEO, CEO's instigated an atmosphere of such intense hilarity that the meeting was in each other's company and later less have a basis in truth, thereby The HLF: Ruthless and Unpredictable weds for real. The HLF seizes on causing mass confusion and this as proof of the "righteous- paranoia. The recent invasion of an Infocom innocent, and Poh Lim is found ness of our cause." = July 1984 — The HLF's next Inc. company meeting by elements guilty and sentenced to life in the = March 1984 — The HLF stages target is education. By staging a of the Humor Liberation Front Graphics Group. However, most a "fun" snowball fight. It is goofy graduation ceremony for reminds us once again that we must feel that Mr. Lim is just a actually a cover for a wave of Infocom CEO Al Vezza, the be ever vigilant in the fight for good scapegoat in some shadowy reprisals against the "unfunny." HLF sends out the message to clean fun.