11 All the Gnus Weather: State of the That Fit, We Print" atmosphere

VOL. IV. . .. No. 4 - FALL 1985 - INTERFLUVIAL EDITION SPELLBREAKER™ IS HERE! The Exciting Conclusion to the Enchanter® Trilogy In a world founded on magic, master has been turned into an sorcerers rule the land, creating amphibian! All, that is, but the spells needed to do everything yourself . . . and a shadowy cloak­ from making bread to taming ed figure who slips quietly out wild animals. Your position as a the door. leader of the Circle of Enchanters Thus begins Spellbreaker,. ·the has earned you respect from all riveting conclusion to lnfocom's others :in the kingdom. Enchanter series (including En­ But now a crisis has fallen. chanter and Sorcerer'") and the Magic itself seems to be failing. final chapter in the story of a Spells go strangely awry or cease magician's rise from novice to to work altogether. The populace mage. is becoming restive, and rum­ Spellbreaker was written by blings are heard concerning Dave Lebling, co-author of the Enchanters. A great conclave is held, con­ Marathon: p. 2 vening all the guildmasters in the land. One by one, they step for­ Zork® trilogy and Enchanter and A Froboz.z. Magic Magic Equipment Catalog, an Enchanter's Guild pin, and six ward, describing the devastating author of StGicrosSE' and Suspect'!' Enchanter trading cards are included in eveiy Spellbreaker package. effects of the diminished magic. According to Lebling, "You don't Beer tastes like grue bathwater, have to have played the other breaker also contains technical while crackerjacks will find their pastries are thick and greasy, games in our fantasy series in innovations, such as allowing skills tested by the most huntsmen are unable to control order to enjoy this one, although you to add some words to the challenging puzzles ever con­ wild beasts. that makes it more fun. People already large vocabulary. cocted by Infocom. Suddenly, in the midst of a who have played Enchanter and Although Spellbreaker is an Each Spellbreaker package in­ discourse on the difficulty of Sorcerer will find familiar expert-level game, it's very non­ cludes a copy of the Frobozz writing poetry without magical moments, and lots of things you linear, giving you plenty of Magic Magic Equipment Catalog help or the rhymes, the Guild­ found in the Zork series are in geography and paraphernalia to (Special Crisis Edition) , a master of the Poets undergoes a here." enjoy without having to actually mystical Enchanters' Guild pin, bizarre transformation. Looking There are more characters than solve all the puzzles. Less­ and a set of Enchanter trading in shock around the room, you in Enchanter and Sorcerer, each experienced players can still have cards. It will retail for $49.95 for find that each and every guild- with a distinct personality. Spell- fun exploring the environment, most systems. E3

wizard Malifestro. The book is school children. 11 (Don't panic vaguely interactive in the sense yet . . . Infocom has a smaller Zork Banned! that the reader is given options following than Jim Jones, the Hari which will affect the outcome of Krishnas, or Reverend Moon! As we sit in Steve's office plan­ phone in a huff. I under:stand. We the story - it's a "pick-a-path" O.K., scratch Reverend Moon, ning the fate of Europe for the have decisions to make. Wars to book. As with Zork I, the reader but definitely smaller than either next few years, Steve and I have fight. Countries to conquer. (player?) runs the risk of having of the other two.) little concern about develop­ Diplomacy r,ID is a time­ his or her throat cut with a stilet­ When asked to co=ent on ments in the New World, espe­ consuming business. It was a to. What Ms. Leary missed is that the proposed ban, Meretzky said cially not about grumblings in a good thing it wasn't my boss on just like the games, you can that at least Leary, who calls small town on a skimpy piece of the phone. I have no business in restart the book and come up herself a ''kamikaze for Jesus,'' is land on something called ''The Meretzky's office! with a better decision on your not so fanatical about removing Cape.'' Just as I convince Steve to When the May l 6th issue of second pass. Darwin from the schools. Leary, not invade Belgium in exchange The Register (a small newspaper In the words of The Register, in kamikaze-like fashion, said, "I for some foggy city in England, serving a few towns on Cape Cod) "She sees the relationship be­ will fight this book with my dy­ the phone rings. Steve answers landed on my desk, I learned who tween violence in the book and ing breath." Meretzky is quick to the phone. Some disgruntled per­ the disgruntled customer was. Jan violence coming from kids as deny the rumor that upon utter­ son is calling from the New Leary was, in fact, not a customer fact, not just a possibility. 11 Her ing these words, Leary was World, the Cape specifically (a at all. She was a parent who was son had purchased the book at a enveloped in a cloud of sinister town called South Dennis), and very concerned about the subject school fair; Leary has since ap­ black fog. . . Leary, however, temporarily ensnares Steve in an matter of a book by Steve called proached the school to ban the mysteriously couldn't be reached argument. I note that Steve Zork: The Malifestro Quest. The book from its library and future for co=ent. (She probably has seems disturbed by what sounds book, loosely based on the Zork fairs, purporting that "such since discovered Zork I and is like a complaining customer empire, has two heroes trying to reading promotes demonic wor­ having trouble getting into the wasting his time. He gets off the save the empire from the greedy ship and glorifies violence for house!) E3 PAGE2 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

Floyd was so eager to please Infidel Call the Exterminator that he would get the shiny Remember the famous con­ fromitz board for you over and tainer bug from Zork F. Well, it's over and over .... If in Infidel. Try putting the knap­ Even with our intensive testing, can refill it to the brim by saying you thought you had escaped the mutants and pressed the sack in the silver chalice and some bugs manage to slip TAKE WATER, no matter where elevator button at the bottom of vice-versa. They both disappear. through our Quality Control you are. That's a pretty neat the shaft, you were probably sur­ This bug will not be in any future Department. In past issues of the variation on the decanter of prised when the elevator door Infocom games (or so our testing NZT we listed some of those bugs endless water. for the Zork series, · Stmcross, closed just as the mutants were department promises) . about to reach it. (Mutants are Deadline~ Sorcerer, Infidel? and If you put the beam in the Sorcerer almost as ubiquitous as grues ... PlanetfalP.We received a tremen­ niches and then go back to the or bugs.) dous response from our NZT For you magicians, if you want barge and say GET BEAM, you readers, who reported bugs that to finish the game with all the fall into a pit of rats (oops). Those they had found. Here are some points, don't open the chest with The Witness® pesty rat pits seem to be more embarrassing (and the rezrov spell. You won't get For those of you who like to everywhere. sometimes hilarious) bugs from the 15 points you should get if drink, you can GET A DRINK For the mathematically inclin­ our releases, as reported by our you had opened it the mundane anywhere, including outside the ed, try calculating the weight of outside bug hunters. way. house. the beam assuming a density Note of warning: if you haven't In earlier versions, gaspar An old bug that was fixed were finished one of the games below, . didn't work properly in the Coal equal to that of water. (See the places and objects you could get you might not want to read the Mine. Also, you could re-create end of the article for the answer, into but could not get back out of. associated paragraphs. any .scroll by typing TAKE THE Hercules.) AIMFIZ SCROLL [for example). If you got into the shower or the For Wendy's fans, you can ask Enchanter These bugs have been fixed. broken window and then tried to the question: WHERE'S THE For those careless few who got get out, the program just told you If you send the turtle into the BEEF? If you're lucky, you'll get their spell books wet (a definite that you would do better to stand temple, the game acts ·as ·if you the response "It's right here!" no-no with gnusto-sensitive up (thinking you were in the. had gone in instead, and you end Take that, competitors! paper), did you notice that the wooden chair). up dying. The ASPCA must ha:ve Here's an embarrassing con­ scrolls that got wet weren't ruin­ Here's an interesting series of slipped that one in the game to ed? If we can track down the for­ responses: tradictory description. With the give some protection to turtles. mula for that batch of scroll water in the silver chalice type: If you guncho the magic rope paper, we could make a fortune in >MAKE LOVE TO MONICA FILL SILVER CHALICE WITH that protects the jewelled box, the spell book market. (Sorry, but English is my second WATER. The response is "The the rope disappears and the box language. Please rephrase that.) silver chalice is filled with water; opens. However, the box is emp­ Planetfall > ASK MONICA TO MAKE ty, and if you LOOK, you can still the silver chalice is now empty." LOVE see the box coiled by the rope. Most of the reported bugs have A little like tea and no tea. How's that for an optical illusion? been fixed in the latest version. (Your request was incomplete. Next time, say what you want Stay tuned for more bugs in If you move the lighted portrait Here's a sample of some of the Monica to make the love from.) future NZTs. If you find any in the gallery, then LOOK, the bugs for those of you with earlier bugs, remember to call the exter­ portrait has disappeared in the releases. >MAKE LOVE FROM MONICA minator. blink of an eye. If you got the fused bedistor "Eat, drink, and make merry, for The last Enchanter bug we'll and then dropped it anywhere, tomorrow we shall die!" [Answer to the weight of beam mention has to do with keeping you would have trouble getting it > ASK MONICA ABOUT LOVE problem: A beam 10 feet long and your water jug filled. As long as again because it thought it was ''That's between Mother and 12 inches in diameter is about you have some water in it, you still fused to its socket. me." 500 pounds.] B Spellbreaker Marathon: Wellesley Wins the First Annual Marathon of the Mind IDIJe New lnrlt Wimes

The Boston Museum of Science, throughout the night: The teams Writers Gary Brennan, Michael Dornbrook, along with Infocom, sponsored were allowed three hints each in Jennifer Fine, Stuart Galley, Paul Gross, the First Annual Marathon of the order to be able to finish the Mind at ComputerPlace (part of expert-level game before having Elizabeth Langosy, Steven Meretzky, the Boston Museum of Science). to return to classes on Monday. Jeff O'Neill, Jonathan Palace This event, organized by Sue Kur Winners of the contest were Production Cynthia Curtis, Jonathan Palace, of ComputerPlace and Spencer Sherene Aram and Robbin Evans Michelle Simpson Steere of Infocom, was a race be­ of the Wellesley #1 team, the Special thanks to Alice, Barry, Brian, Dan, Donna, Ellen, tween college teams to finish only team to finish. Only one Spellbreaker - Infocom's latest other team came close to Jen, Joanne, Ken, Lori, Nancy, Paula, interactive fiction - before it finishing, but they made a fatal Phil, and Tom finished them. Included were mistake near the end and had to

teams from Wellesley, Boston drop out. At the very end, all the © 1985 lnfocom In c., 125 CambridgcPark Drive, Cambridge, MA 02140 University, University of other teams quit playing to watch 1 Massachusetts at Boston, MIT, the winning team solve the Boston College, and Harvard. climactic final scene. The win­ Zork, Enchanter, Deadline, The Witness, Starcross, Suspended, Planetfall, Infidel. and Seasta1ker arc registered trademarks of 1nfocom1 Inc. Wishbringer. So rcerer, Spellbreaker, Suspect, A Mind

The contest started at 8:00 p.m. ners received a free Infocom game Forever Voyaging, Cutthroats, Fooblitzky, Corncrstonc1 Tales of Adventure, 1ntcractive Fi ction Plus and lnvisiCiucs arc trademarks of Infocom Inc. The Hitchhikcr's Guide to the Galaxy is a on Saturday, September 14th, and of their choice and a free party to 1 1 trademark of Dougla~ Adarns. Diplomacy is a rcgistetcd trademark of Avalon Hill copyright 1976. lasted 20 hours, straight be thrown at ComputerPlace. B 1 FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE3 Mail Bag

Dear Zork Control (if there is I gathered the spheres and any), summoned the demon, So with the Wizard am more than At first, Zork brought our fami­ even. ·' ly together for many happy hours of brainstorming. However, Zork Maze and puzzle room did not hinder, II and Zork ill proved addictive Einstein and Oppenheimer were as and led to excessive indulgence. kinder [German pronunciation], My children fled to college to I crossed the lake and got the key, '' escape incessant demands for I've a score of seven from dear solutions from a game-playing Z.Ork Ill, morn. My husband went lonely But try as I might in every year, to bed night after night ... But at The crown jewels still have naught least when he "worked late" he to fear. knew where I was .. . Twice I've been down to the Dungeon Master, After everyone left, I took to And sent back, not wiser, even accosting different types of faster. strange men in lonely bars hoping The carousel room only took a to find another Zork addict. Un­ minute, fortunately or alas! I now know But the jewel cage STILL has all the true addicts are home play­ everything in it! ing Suspended® or Enchanter! So after 2 ~ years of being a The following is a sigh of purist, I'm now writing to your frustration written during enforc­ new supplier of hint books. ed withdrawal from Zork to Thank you for staying in touch so tackle Sorcerer: that I know where to send for I found the Cyclops, I solved the them. dragon, ., Mrs. J.A. Lordi I robbed the bank with little Ocala, FL flaggin'. I climbed the falls and found the treasure. Please send letters to: NZT, 125 I floated the balloon with greatest CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, pleasure. MA 02140 El

their programs, resulting in They Said It ... longer, more complicated stories Top fashion model Robert Mccarron in a rare candid shot, sporting the and more sophisticated user in­ babel fish T-shirt. McCarron 's only comment: "This is a small!" terfaces. The first story developed The Boston Phoenix, published in Interactive Fiction Plus: Steve in neighboring Beantown, Meretzky's A Mind Forever featured Infocom in its Take Off Your Shirt Voyaging;' in which you journey September 24 High Tech section. And put on an Infocom ''I GOT black, with the same bright let­ into the future in the role of the THE BABEL FISH" T-shirt! Over Said the Phoenix, ''These games world's first sentient computer. tering as the front of your Hitch­ do strange things to your percep­ 600 Hitchhiker's Guide to the hiker's game package. There's a tion. When you turn off your Another key to Infocom's suc­ Galaxy'" fans are already sporting size to fit everyone [S, M, L, or computer and go out into the cess is our network of dedicated these distinctive shirts! If you're XL), and they're only $7.95. So street, it's difficult to remember fans, which extends around the the only bloke on the block what are you waiting for? Just that you're no longer traversing globe! We've got an especially without one, don't panic. Babel send in the order form below or an imaginary world. This kind of large number of them in England, fish T-shirts are still available. call our toll-free number obsession, which can afflict you and that's why the British Broad­ They're made of 100% cotton, [800-262-6868) and an Infocom even if you've never touched a casting Corporation came to in fashionable go-with-anything babel fish T-shirt will be yours! computer before, is the key to the Cambridge to do a special pro­ El astounding success of the gram on Infocom. The BBC spent Cambridge-based firm Infocom a day wandering the halls, speak­ ------~------and its long line of interactive fic­ ing with a variety of Infopeople, Please send me ___ T-shirt[s). Enclosed is a check or money tion software." But we don't and even sitting in on an Im­ order (no cash please!) for $7.95 per T-shirt. have to tell you that. plementors' Lunch [a legendary weekly event garnering all the In­ Another key to Infocom's suc­ focom game writers). The __s __M __L _x:L cess is the advanced technology resulting program, which will air used to create our interactive in November, profiles the com­ novels. A recent article in pany, focusing on the develop­ Publisher's Weekly focused on ment of Spellbreaker. Interactive Fiction Plus;'the latest addition to our unique develop­ Last but not least, this quote ment system. Interactive Fiction from Analog Computing: Plus allows , Infocom game "Achieving the impossible is an Send to: T-Shirts, lnfocom, 125 CambridgePark Drive, Cambridge, MA 02140. designers to double the size of Infocom exclusive. 11 £) PAGE4 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985 Infocom Beats Spinnaker in Softball Championship Infocom adds yet another trophy pumped keyboards for days, and to its case: the "Floppy Cup" of went on to defeat Spinnaker in the Software Softball Eastern the next 2 games, 18 to 8 and 14 Division. Spinnaker defeated to 8. Coach Dave "Hollywood" Infocom 12 to 5 in the first of the Anderson was last seen celebrat­ best-of-3 series. (Infocom hoped ing in a Chinese restaurant, wear­ for a rally in the ninth, but the ing a grass skirt and giving game was suspended by police ac­ mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to t ion.) But Infocom players a tiki bowl. B

Barry Star, before th e operation to remove an unusual growth on his trophy. > Burn Records With Torch

No, we didn't have a fire, but Chinese-puzzle type stone which some of our records were in­ housed a parchment scroll, and a advertently destroyed. Our big­ black pearl (which his brother gest loss was the outlandish but had told him was Zork' s 20th true stories sent in by hundreds of treasure)! you wild-and-crazy adventurers. Some of the more notable ones Do these stories sound include an entire town in Ten­ familiar? Do you have similar nessee where Infocom games are stories of your own to tell? Please a community obsession. One write to us! We're anxious to woman wrote asking for recover as many of these gems as customized T-shirts for the possible, and we're always in­ whole population, so citizens terested in new ''Infocom True could check off the games they'd Tales of Adventure." You could completed, and display it proudly be quoted in The New Zork on their backs. Another fan sent Times, or interviewed by a pictures showing the elaborate nationally-known reporter. trick he played on his brother for Remember, what we're after is giving him a misleading Zork I true tales; fiction writers need not "Max" Buxton, a dangerous Infotester. "Don't put one foot in your job and hint. His scheme included a large apply. B the other in your dreams. " Future ambition: To live in his dreams. FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGES

Mike Dornbrook, the man who single-handedly started and ran The New Zork Times. It's his fault you're reading this caption instead of doing something constructive.

toward yaks, resulting in a Gnu News 105-page white paper that is now required reading for all staff writers. Sirs, But even this is not enough. Many people say that yaks have Disgruntled readers demand that no sense of hwnor. This is un­ the sins of the past be rectified. true. Yaks have a highly (Gruntled readers demand sophisticated sense of hwnor, as nothing, as usual.) So, in the the yak joke below proves. Gnus spirit of equal treatment for all have no sense of hwnor. bovine species, The New Zork Times now begins a series of Grunt. Grunt grunt grunt. Sniff! public-service messages designed {Paw, paw, paw.) to enlighten its readership on the Grunt? {pause) Grunt sniff! subject of gnus. Signed, YAK X Did you know . .. ~ that the gnu is an African This letter from a disgruntled antelope, bulky but compact? reader has prompted The New ~ that "gnu" comes from the Zork Times editorial staff to Bushman word "nqu"? Linda "Tex" Avezy, trying to guess the identity of "Ms. X. " The cup in front launch a serious investigation of ~ that Dutch settlers in Africa of her is full of fruit juice. Honest. its own attitudes and prejudices called the gnu a "wildebeest"? B PAGE6 THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

plus blatantly self-ser\ring propa­ Cornerstone™ Receives Mac Sampler ganda. It costs just $7.95 and in­ Rave Reviews cludes a coupon for $8 .00 off your The world-famous Infocom next Infocom purchase. And it Sampler will be available for the has a money-back guarantee: The reviews are just beginning any kind of information manag­ Macintosh in November! The Infocom will refund your money to come in for Comerstone and it ing task." Sampler (already available for the even if you don't buy another appears that we have another -Joel C. Don, IBM, Apple, Atari, and Commo­ Infocom product. The Sampler is smash hit. Popular Computing, June, 1985 dore) has excerpts from Zork I, virtually a "no-lose" bargain. If Infidel, Planetfall, and The you haven't already bought one, "The cover of darkness sur­ "Cornerstone is the best pro­ Witness; and it includes a tutorial you should! B gram I have ever used. I found no rounding database programs is flaws. It runs smoothly, is simple partly because they are so dif­ to set up, easy to leam, forgives ficult to handle . . . . But a new mistakes .... program, Cornerstone, may well Anticipation of the user's needs change the popular notions about A MIND FOREVER VOYAGING and ease of use make Cornerstone database software. Billed as the a gem ..... sophisticated database system for Goes to the Library Plain English is used through­ the non-programmer, its con­ out, making a review difficult tribution to the popularization of because you needi1 't be told that databases is its flexi.bility. " Midtown Manhattan. It's raining And so nearly 100 press person­ to print a Cornerstone report -Erik Sandberg-Diment, so hard, the island should be nel braved the heat and the rain you need only choose 'PRINT'. The New York Times, underwater; except it's so hot, to attend Infocom's press con­ In other words, the program is May 12, 1985 the rain sizzles on the sidewalk ference for A Mind Forever so easy to use, explaining its use and disappears. A vendor under a Voyaging. The conference began is almost redundant. If you need a Many large corporations are evaluating Comerstone for their Sabrett's umbrella opens a new with a dramatic reading by relational database, buy package of hot dogs, which are silken-voiced Stu Galley, author Cornerstone. " internal needs. The initial feed­ back from them has been ex­ steamed instantaneously. of The Witness and co-author of - Kerry Leichtman, tremely positive. "'Kraut?" he asks, and without Seastalke:r®. The audience was PC Week, May 7, 1985 waiting for an answer smothers then subjected to nearly 30 "Enclosed is a copy of the ''Cornerstone successfully the bun and the napkin with minutes of blatantly self-serving report sent to the Vatican and the yellowish-brown substance. You propaganda by Infocom President combines power and ease of use Apostolic Nuncio about three in one program . . . . I'm sold on give the vendor a bill - this · Joel Berez, Manager of Product weeks ago. You will note that morning it was crisp, but in this Development Jonathan Palace, Cornerstone. Without any pro­ Cornerstone - even there - was gramming, the information I suffocating moistness it's as limp and Product Manager Michael the preferred relational database as the cabbage - and hurry Dornbrook. (It was, by the way, need is at my fingertips. Cor­ manager and has so been recom­ nerstone operates the way most toward the library. the first time Berez had been seen mended. I have had no written in public since eating 71 business people think. And it is reply as yet - but one phone call The two lions standing·sentry so well design.ed that no exten­ outside the New York Public chocolate donuts and a package of (from Fr. Goffney) asking how it Twinkies during a midnight sive training is necessary . . .. compared to dBASE ill. You need Library, on 5th Avenue at 42nd The program exceeds the user­ Street, seem particularly lonely binge in June.) not feel slighted in the com­ And, of course, Steve Meretzky friendliness of PFS:FILE and of­ parison. Evidently the University in this downpour; a couple of fers the power of a programmable crocodiles would look more at spoke. Tall, shamblin' Steve, has ;ust acquired a copy of dBASE author of A Mind Forever Voyag­ database manager. Cornerstone ill for evaluation. Frankly, it is home. You push your way into could easily save months of the marbled lobby of the library ing, honest yet modest, talking my ;udgment that there IS no with the charming drawl that dBASE II or dBASE ill program­ and shake yourself off. It's drier comparison, none worth the comes from growing up in ming. If you don't want to pro­ name. I have a copy of inside, but no cooler. You ask a gram, but need all these guard where the Trustees' Room Yonkers. He spoke of "pushing Microrim 's Clout, and again, 11 capabilities and the ability to is, and he directs you to the third back the envelope, not just there's no real comparison. I have technologically with Interactive relate multiple files in your played with Ability, Framework, floor. You climb the stone steps database applications, you want and pull open a huge wooden Fiction Plus, but also creatively Lotus, Jazz, Symphony. I find all with a NON-puzzle-oriented Cornerstone. " of them lacking. Too much that door, so massive and intricately carved that you stop to admire it. story. More than anything else, -Ira H. Krakow, does too little too rarely for too the audience was left with the Business Computer Systems, much cost. You enter the Trustees' Room, feel the coolness, and close the impression that interactive fic­ June 1985 Cornerstone is the first soft­ tion can be more, much more, door behind you. "The terms 'powerful' and ware I've found that I've been than puzzles. 'easy to use' are pressed into ser­ willing to recommend for a price Someone offers you some tea. You leave the Trustees' Room vice describing software so often over $150. It's the first I've seen Tea? In this weather? Yet the air - where does Infocom find these that they're in danger of losing that's worth it. here is bearable - comfortable, places? - and journey home­ their punch. Frankly, it's the best thing I've even - and the room exudes ward. You stay up half the night Cornerstone, a relational data­ seen yet, and I have already respectability and elegance. Per­ asking yourself questions. How base for the IBM PC, breathes recommended it as a standard sian tapestries adorn the oak­ did interactive fiction evolve new meaning into these two item of purchase to both the panelled walls, and the massive from Zork into A Mind Forever overworked ad;ectives and is one American bishops and to the marble fireplace (significantly Voyaging? If interactive fiction of the few programs that deserve Vatican. The report of which I larger than your first apartment) can do this, then what else can it both . . . . Cornerstone is a new­ sent you a duplicate printout seems as natural as the brass-and­ do? What will Infocom do next? comer, but its extensive menu went directly to Rome via crystal chandelier, the busts of What will interactive fiction be structure, copious and innovative Apostolic Nuncio's diplomatic Greek poets, and the Louis XIV like 5, or 10, or 50 years from on-line help, and relational power pouch, destined to land directly tables. And it IS teatime. Cream, now? Infocom also journeys make it worthy of serious con­ on the Pope's desk." please; no sugar. Scones? Help homeward, to Cambridge, glad sideration by businesses looking -Reverend H.R. Stockert, yourself. You hope your breath that others are asking the same for a simple way to handle almost KtB, KH, KCR, OAE. B doesn't smell like sauerkraut. questions it asks itself every day. B FALL 1985 THE NEW ZORK TIMES PAGE7 Winners of NZT Puzzle #6

Since there were fewer correct 9. William Perez answers than our maximum San Jose, CA number of prizes, no drawing was 10. James Marcolesco necessary this time around, and Villa Park, CA everyone who sent in a correct 11. Martha McGhee-Glisson answer gets a T-shirt. Now, re­ Atlanta, GA garding this month's winners - I 12. Tom Betz don't go out of my way to make Fairbanks, AK fun of our most loyal customers, but some of these names are pret­ 13. Matt Wilhoit ty weird. And four Brians is very Charleston, WV suspicious. Anyway, here's the 14. Noemi Mower list of puzzle wizards: Salt Lake City, UT 15. Steve Rutter '' Te: LL us +h E s E c r E t o f t h E GA G E L Seekonk, MA 11 Fi 5 h or N 9 fYl or E M is t E r N i"c E G- v y. 1. Barry J. Kriha 16. Bruce Bock Gibbon, NE Dixon, CA 2. Brian Roark 17. Travis Mott Salem, VA Big Rapids, Ml Cartoon Winner 3. James Kellogg 18. Charles Engebretson Patrick S. Campbell of Hamilton, color illustrations will be con­ Colorado Springs, CO Santa Rita, CA Ohio, wins our cartoon contest sidered) on white unlined paper. 4. Brian Burns 19. Paul Brunner this issue. We'll be sending him Do not fold your entries! All sub­ Houston, TX Philadelphia, PA an Atari version of Wishbringet," missions become the property of 5. Michael Marcus 20. Rick Glisson as he requested. Infocom, Inc. Send your cartoons Boca Raton, FL Atlanta, GA to: NZT Cartoons, Infocom, Inc., Send us your c-artoons. All car-- --T25 Cambr!dgePark Drive, Cam- 6. Brian Allen 21. Brace E. Stout toons will be printed approxi- bridge, MA 02140. Don't forget Ypsilanti, MI Fort Wayne, lN mately 414 inches wide by 5 to include a separate sheet that 7. Brian Bonner 22. Chris Richard inches deep, so please draw your tells us who you are, what game College, PA Iowa City, IA cartoons proportionally. Entries you want to win, your computer 8. Ed Clayton 23. Housty Jayne must be in black ink (no pencil or system, and where you live. B Asheboro, NC New Canaan, CT

with Lebling's personality). Leb­ ERRATUM Man Bites Man in ling's clever attempt to confuse his opponents (by discarding a FOOBLITZKY Tournament correct item) backfired when it totally baffled his partner (who, Due to incredibly complex but In a stunning upset victory, Fooblitzky more times and losing judges point out, was born baf­ boring circumstances, portions of Business Product Development more times than anyone else in fled). "I thought we had it won," "A History of Zork" in our last defeated Consumer Product the universe. "My notes are said Lebling, ''until I saw the issue were printed out of order. Development in the first-round great.'' Spectators disagreed, say­ look on Palace's face." We apologize for the inconve­ match of a Fooblitzky"' Tourna­ ing that they had seen traffic ac­ The Business Product Develop­ nience. ment at Infocom. cidents neater than Palace's ment team advances, if it can be The following hints will help ''I'm terrible at record notes. you find the correct order. Warn­ keeping, 11 admitted winning Berkowitz's partner, Tim ing: If you want to solve the puz­ player Brian Berkowitz, one of Anderson, was later voted MLP ''Fooblitzky brings out the zle on your own, don't read any the masterminds behind Info­ (Most Lucky Player) by a small weirdness in people. " further! com's sophisticated database, panel of New Zork Times editors. A. After reading "'Come here, Cornerstone. Indeed, a post-game In an unusal move, the panel also Mr. Watson; I want you!'", start autopsy of Berkowitz's work­ voted Anderson MUP (Most Un­ called that, in the Tournament, reading from "Mike Dornbrook sheet showed squiggly lines and lucky Player). "Fooblitzky brings and is next slated to play a team was enlisted to test .... " arrows, several question marks, out the weirdness in people,'' from "Creative Marketing": B. After reading "Mail Bag," some simple arithmetic, a tuna noted Anderson wryly. Eli?:abeth Langosy from Creative start reading from "We had salad recipe, a favorite Berkowitz Ironically, it was Palace's Services and someone (to be another product ... . " quote ("Nothing ventured, teammate, Dave Lebling, who determined) from Marketing. nothing lost") and little else. seemed in control most of the Marketing did not enter a team of C . After reading "Sorcerer," "I can't believe it," said a game. He claimed to be the first its own in the Tournament start reading from "Zork II was dumbfow1ded Jonathan Palace, player to know all 4 correct items because potential player Susan offered .... " who, in the process of losing big, (a claim impossible to substan­ Sobel said she ''would rather give D. Whenever the story mentions also set the record for playing tiate but thoroughly in keeping birth" than play Fooblitzky. B "yaks," think "gnus" instead. B PAGES THE NEW ZORK TIMES FALL 1985

NEW ZORK TIMES PUZZLE NUMBERS

A) You are drunk. On the left are 12 responses from our games. They oc­ B) You're going to start sloshing around soon. cur when you try the wacky and unusual. Figure out C) He smiles. "Money is our most important product." which game the response comes from (they match exact­ D) You receive a painful electric shock. ly) and put the corresponding game number in the ap­ E) Weird! The candle remains lit even as it disappears beneath the propriate blank. Then multiply the numbers across and surface of the river. add the products for the answer. (Having the hint F) What a detective! "Quick! Arrest that file drawer before it booklets and trying the "have you tried" sections isn't escapes!" necessary, but it will certainly help.) G) I'd recommend a good doctor, but we need the eggs. H) He dodges, insisting that this is incorrect procedure. I) There is no high from sniffing this powder. J) You twist your head to look under the four-poster bed but find Name: nothing. K) You'll have to lead, you can be sure of that. Address------L) "Why"

ZorkI 1 T-Shirt Size (S, M, L, XL): ___ ZorkII 2 Zorkm 3 x x CONTEST RULES: Enchanter 4 A B c 1. All entries must be submitted on this form . No copies Sorcerer 5 + accepted. Wish bringer 6 2. All entries must be received by February 1, 1986. . Deadline 7 x x Witness 8 D E F 3. Up to 25 prizes will be awarded. U more than 25 correct Suspect 9 + answers are received, a drawing will be held to determine SttlICIOSS 10 the winners. Void where prohibited by law. Suspended 11 x x Planetfall 12 G H PRIZE: Hitchhiker's 13 + A New Zork Times Puzzle Winner T-Shirt Infidel 14 Seastalker 15 x x Cutthroats"' 16 K L RETURN TO: Infocom NZT Puzzle 125 CambridgePark Drive ANSWER Cambridge, MA 02140

Solution to 2. "Going up empty-handed is back with a resounding numbers right, 127 (55.9%) got a bad idea." (CLIMB THE thud." (first fake) only one right, and 77 (33 .9%) Puzzle Number Six CHIMNEY in Studio 9. ' 'The rainbow seems to had neither number correct. The holding nothing) have become somewhat breakdown by response number 3. "The leaves burn, and so do run-of-the-mill." (WAVE is also interesting (note that the I sure am a lousy judge of puzzle you." (BURN THE LEAVES THE SCEPTRE a second total adds up to twice the number difficulty. Although I expected while holding them) time, while not on the of entries, since each entry in­ Puzzle #5 to be hard, there were rainbow) cluded two response numbers): still 70 correct answers. I thought 4. "You feel a faint tingling Response Appear- Per- that Puzzle #6 was much easier, transmitted through the 10. ''The cyclops spreads a sword.'' (TOUCH THE checkered tablecloth on the # ances centage and yet there were only 23 correct 1 73 32.2% MIRROR WITH THE ground." (second fake) answers! 2 11 4.8% SWORD) In Puzzle #6, you were given 13 11 . "You need no light to guide 3 10 4.4% responses, allegedly from Zork I, 5. "I'm afraid you have done you." (TURN ON THE 4 32 14.1% and told to pick the two fake drowned yourself." (WAIT LAMP as a spirit) 5 27 14.1% responses that don't actually ap­ in the Maintenance Room 12. "Some paint chips away, 6 19 8.4% pear in the game. The correct until it fills with water) revealing more paint." 7 4 1.8% answer was 8 and 10. Here's a list 6. ''The thief says nothing, as (DESTROY THE PAINT in 8 59 26.0% of all 13 responses and where you have not been formally the Studio) 9 11 4.8% they appear in Infocom's first introduced." (LISTEN TO 13. "The hole collapses, 10 114 50.2% work of interactive fiction: THE THIEF) smothering you." (DIG 11 49 21.6% 7. ''The book is already open THE GROUND WITH THE 12 27 11.9% 1. ''The pines and the to page 569." (OPEN THE SHOVEL in the Sandy Cave 13 18 7.9% hemlocks seem to be mur­ BLACK BOOK) a fourth time) muring." (LISTEN TO THE 8. ''You pry the door open a There were 227 entries, of FOREST) crack, but then it snaps which 23 (10.1%) got both Winners: p. 7