Implementing Local Wisdom Values in Bride and Groom Course at KUA Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City

Dodi Ilham Institut Agama Islam Negeri (IAIN) Palopo, Indonesia [email protected]

Abstract This study aims to determine how the bride and groom course in KUA Bara Subdistrict, Including the values of local wisdom in implementing the bride and groom course, and inhibiting factors and supporting local wisdom values. This research is research with a qualitative approach to field research. This research is located in KUA Kec. Palopo City Bara. This study's data sources are primary data sources (course participants for bride and groom), secondary data sources (KUA Bara Subdistrict files). Data collection techniques through interviews, observation, and documentation. The data analysis used was descriptive qualitative data analysis. The data obtained that the implementation of the course for the bride and groom in KUA Kec. Palopo City Bara is administratively by the General Director of Islamic Community Guidance Regulation on Candidate Bride Course Number DJ.II / 491 of 2009 dated December 10, 2009, although, in the process of implementing the bride and groom course, it is still not by the Regulation of the Director-General of Islamic Community Guidance of the Ministry of Religion Number DJ.II/542 of 2013 concerning Guidelines for the Implementation of Pre-Marriage Courses; The values of local wisdom are conveyed by the method of lectures and questions and answers between the resource person and the prospective bride and groom at KUA, Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City, with a focus on three values of local wisdom, namely aju tunung (wood/birth support), waju (clothes/honor), aju- aju (inner sustenance); Supporting Factors for the implementation of the bride and groom course at KUA Kec. Bara Kota Palopo is the resource persons' ability for the prospective bride and groom course to insert local wisdom values for the bride and groom's course material. The bride and groom are serious about receiving the bride and groom's course materials. Keywords: bride and groom course, bride and groom, KUA Bara Subdistrict, local wisdom

Introduction The majority of wedding traditions in Tana Luwu, especially Palopo City, use the Bugis tradition as part of the wedding ceremony, especially in Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City. It can be seen in terms that the community often uses, such as uang pannai', mammanu'manu, mappabotting, and more. Building a family in the Bugis tradition is a big responsibility and must be done with careful consideration so that the wedding tradition becomes sacred and celebrated with a festive party. There is no event more sacred in the Bugis tradition and with a party more significant than the wedding feast, including death even once. Kinship (family), which is still strong, also makes marriage more complex. Marriage is not just a relationship between two lovebirds but is a connection between two families. In Bugis culture, the preparation of a young man to enter the marriage stage is not light. One of the Bugis philosophies is "Makkalu Dapureng Wekka Pitu," which can be linguistically translated as "going around the kitchen seven times." https://p3i.my.id/index.php/konsepsi 1 Jurnal Konsepsi, Vol. 08, No. 1, Mei 2019 ISSN 2301-4059

This philosophy is intended for those young boy Bugis (kallolo) youths before leaving their bachelor years, where the young man has reached an established period to foster household. In this tradition, it is known as makkandre guru (learning). The bride and groom will be advised on getting along, treating, and caring for their wife. The kitchen is an allusion to women. It means that a man must know a woman (his wife). Knowing the ins and outs, knowing the kitchen as a place to store food, and one of the sources of life. In the makkandre tradition, the prospective groom's teacher is advised to make his wife happy in bed and treat his wife correctly and respectfully. The government rules through KMA No. 477 of 2004 and the Regulation of the Guidance of the Islamic Community regarding the Candidate Bride Course Number DJ.II / 491 of 2009, dated December 10, 2009, that before the wedding takes place, each prospective bride must be given an insight into the meaning of a household through pre-marriage courses or courses for future brides. This program is carried out to provide the bride and groom with knowledge of family knowledge and healthy reproduction so that the bride and groom will have the knowledge, physical and mental readiness to enter the marriage ladder to form a family divorce rate, and disputes can be suppressed.

In this case, the Office of Religious Affairs in Bara Subdistrict (KUA Bara Subdistrict), Palopo City, has provided a means for prospective brides to participate in the bride-to-be course program. In its implementation, the bride and groom are given provisions and materials such as household insights, the importance of mental preparation to become husband and wife, and readiness to become parents of their children in the future. They are also given understanding and advice that marriage is a form of worship that contains the meaning of a sacred agreement and a mandate for both partners. Husband and wife, and then legality will be given about the occurrence of a marriage. Armed with insight, the soul accepts the mandate and legality, critical assets for building a happy family. In the implementation of the bride and groom course program at KUA Bara Subdistrict, there is an insertion of local wisdom given by the leader, namely the readiness to foster a household life "Makkalu Dapureng Wekka Pitu." It is considered essential because the participants need a deeper understanding of the importance of dealing with problems in their future household life. By incorporating these local wisdom values, KUA Bara Subdistrict hopes that in the future, the alumni of the prospective bride and groom course can create a happy home life, minimize divorce, and maintain domestic harmony and the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the course process for the prospective bride and groom.

There is an insert content of local wisdom given by the leader, namely the readiness to foster a household "Makkalu Dapureng Wekka Pitu." It is considered essential because the participants need a deeper understanding of the importance of dealing with problems in their future household life. By incorporating these local wisdom values, KUA Bara Subdistrict hopes that in the future, the alumni of the prospective bride and groom course can create a happy home life, minimize divorce, and maintain domestic harmony and the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the course process for the prospective bride and groom. There is an insert content of local wisdom given by the leader, namely the readiness to foster a household "Makkalu Dapureng Wekka Pitu." It is considered essential because the participants need a deeper understanding of the importance of dealing with problems in their future household life. By incorporating these local wisdom values, KUA Bara Subdistrict hopes that in the future, the alumni of the prospective bride and groom course can create a happy home life, minimize divorce, and maintain domestic harmony and the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the course process for the prospective bride and groom. By incorporating these local

2 Jurnal Konsepsi, Vol. 08, No. 1, Mei 2019 ISSN 2301-4059 wisdom values, KUA Bara Subdistrict hopes that in the future, the alumni of the prospective bride and groom course can create a happy home life, minimize divorce, and maintain domestic harmony and the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the course process for the prospective bride and groom. By incorporating these local wisdom values, KUA Bara Subdistrict hopes that in the future, the alumni of the prospective bride and groom course can create a happy home life, minimize divorce, and maintain domestic harmony and the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the course process for the prospective bride and groom.

Method This research is research with a qualitative approach with the type of field research. The researcher directly becomes an instrument of study. A person can only understand the social world by obtaining direct knowledge of the subject being investigated (Burrel and Morgan 1979). The social interactions of each individual must be understood. in totality (Sawarjuwono 2005), every human action is meaningful, involves interpretation, thinking, and deliberate (Mulyana 2003: p. 61). The object of this research is humans, so this research is not suitable if it is done quantitatively, considering that the functionalist paradigm of social science tends to articulate the world as empirical artifacts and existing relationships can be identified and measured by natural sciences such as biology and mechanics (Burrel and Morgan 1979 ) Therefore, researches in this paradigm always emphasize high objectivity, so that the object stands independently of the subject who created it, thus presenting the object "free from value" of the subject (Triyuwono, 2002)

Data collection methods in field research are the techniques used in collecting data in the field. The primary data is in-depth interviews with informants. In contrast, secondary data is documentary in nature, such as the structure of the KUA Bara Subdistrict, BP4 structure, data on the prospective bride and groom, and documents related to the prospective bride's course activities groom at the research location. This method is intended as supporting evidence. The data analysis method used is observation, namely observing and listening to understand, seeking answers, and looking for evidence of the behavior of certain events, conditions of objects, and symbols, without affecting the observed phenomena by recording, recording, and taking pictures for discovery. analysis data. (Imam Suprayogo, 2001), interviews were conducted in a structured and unstructured manner using a set of research instruments in the form of written questions to conduct interviews to BP4 KUA Bara Subdistrict, community leaders, participant's bride candidate course in KUA Bara Subdistrict.

Results and Discussion The implementation of the bride and groom course at KUA Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City

KUA Bara Subdistrict, which is shaded by the Ministry of Religion of Palopo City, has an institutional structure of the Marriage Guidance and Preservation Advisory Board (BP4) as an institution that administers pre-marriage courses, which is tasked with providing provision to prospective brides registered in the Bara Subdistricts. In this course, the bride and groom are given a short lesson that revolves around domestic life after marriage. Based on the Regulation

3 Jurnal Konsepsi, Vol. 08, No. 1, Mei 2019 ISSN 2301-4059 of the General Director of Islamic Community Guidance of the Ministry of Religion Number DJ.II / 542 of 2013 concerning Guidelines for Conducting Pre-Marriage Courses, the appendix states that the bride-to-be courses are held for 24 hours of lessons. With the material provided, there are seven, namely marriage procedures and procedures (2 hours of lessons), religious knowledge (5 hours), laws and regulations in the fields of marriage and family (4 hours), health and reproduction (3 hours), family management (3 hours), marriage and family psychology (2 hours), as well as the rights and obligations of husband and wife (5 hours). So when calculating based on the duration of time, the prospective bride and groom must complete at least three days with an average of + 8 hours a day or a maximum of 6 days with an average of + 4 hours a day.

At KUA Bara Subdistrict, the bride and groom course is held two times a week, on Tuesday and Thursday, the duration of time in the course of the bride and groom course is concise, only 2-3 hours only a day to carry out the process. The prospective bride and groom participants find it very difficult to understand all the material presented, so the initial results of implementing the course for the bride and groom are already beyond the desired expectation. It is by what Warni said, one of the prospective brides who took the bride and groom course, who stated that:

"After I came and took the bride and groom course there, I was taught much about marriage. Such as husband and wife's rights and obligations regarding family psychology, family health, and family planning. Hopefully, it can maintain the household's integrity and give direction to the children who will have a family. However, in practice, we could not understand all the material presented by the supervisor because the time duration was short".

Of course, this makes an effort to provide educational materials for the prospective bride and groom to be less than optimal. For example, the training course in the core group of the curriculum and syllabus of the pre-marriage course, namely "Implementation of Family Functions," this training course has seven main subjects, namely understanding the prospective bride and groom on "Religious Functions; Reproductive Function; Compassion and Affection Functions; FunctionPeprotection; Educational Functions and SValue optimization; Economic Functions; and Socio-Cultural Functions." This material is intended that the prospective bride and groom have the following competencies:

1. Able to understand family functions 2. Able to contextually explain family functions with experiences of marital and family life 3. Able to implement in family life through action plans. The seven main subjects in this bride and groom education course have a learning duration of 2 hours—the Regulation of the General Director of Islamic Community Guidance of the Ministry of Religion Number DJ.II / 542 of 2013 concerning the Guidelines for the Implementation of Pre-Marriage Courses in Chapter V of Article 8 Material and Resource Persons, it is stated that pre-marriage courses are conducted using the methods of lectures, discussions, questions and answers, and assignments that are its implementation is adjusted to the conditions and needs in the field. So seeing the findings in the KUA Bara Subdistrict, namely a course for the bride and groom for one day with a duration of + 2-3 hours, what happens is: a. The resource person in the course for the bride and groom will only sort out the material to be delivered to the prospective bride and groom.

4 Jurnal Konsepsi, Vol. 08, No. 1, Mei 2019 ISSN 2301-4059 b. The bride and groom's resource person did not convey or even explain in detail about these functions. At KUA Bara Subdistrict, every candidate who comes to convey his marriage wish must go through the Bride Candidate Course stage at the latest ten working days before the day of his marriage contract. Usually, the candidates are escorted by the Marriage Registration Officer's assistant (PPN) or the village Imam to take the Candidate Bride Course and get a certificate from BP4. Budi Jamin Head of KUA. Bara Subdistrict stated that: "before starting the bride-to-be course, the prince asks the prospective bride and groom's course partner whether they are willing to take the bride-to-be course, in some instances, if one of the prospective brides has attended or conducted a bride-groom course at another KUA then the prospective bride course will be carried out. Followed by one of the prospective brides only. Unlike the case with the prospective bride, Efforts to Incorporate Local Wisdom Values in the Implementation of the Course for Bride and Groom at KUA Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City

Local wisdom values are conveyed by lecturing and questioning, and answering between the resource person and the bride and groom at KUA, Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City. According to Budi Jamin, this is because faster and to the bride-to-be course material's main point. According to him, the bride and groom course's primary material is how to foster household life itself. This material most often brings in the bride-to-be course to the prospective bride and groom. In the primary subject matter of family management, the groom is then given an understanding of the Bugis philosophy "Makkalu Dapureng Wekka Pitu" The meaning behind the philosophy of surrounding the kitchen seven times a young man must prepare three kinds of wood in the sense that the kitchen continues to operate, namely:

1. The first wood (aju) "mulle mua ga, polengangi waju binemu na tutukengi welang pelang na" (can you prepare firewood for your wife so that the kitchen can smoke). It means that a husband must be able to provide for his wife's food and be life support for the family to seek sustenance so that he can cover his wife's shopping. Because after marriage we are certainly embarrassed to continue to be financed by our parents, therefore after marriage we must be independent and able to support our own families. It is in line with the word of God Almighty, in QS. Al-Nisa: 34:

ٱلرجال قومون على ٱلنسآء بما فضل ٱهلل بعضهم على بعض وبمآ أنفقوا من أمولهم فٱلصلحت قنتت حفظت للغيب بما حفظ ٱهلل وٱلتي تخافون نشوزهن فعظوهن وٱهجروهن في ٱلمضاجع وٱضربوهن فإن أطعنكم فال تبغوا عليهن سبيال إن ٱهلل كان عليا كبيرا 34

Translation:

Men are leaders for women because Allah has exaggerated some of them (men) over others (women) and because they (men) have spent part of their property. Therefore, a godly woman who is obedient to God takes care of herself when her husband is not there because God has taken care of her (them). The women you are worried about nusyuz, so advise them and separate them in their beds, and beat them. Then if they obey you, do not look for a way to trouble them. Verily Allah is Most High, Most Great

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For a man, providing for his family is an obligation. It is obligatory because a man is the leader of the family. As a leader, he must be a good role model for his family and protect and provide for his family. Islam obliges the husband to provide for his wife. A legal marriage bond makes a wife bound solely for her husband and is held as hers because she has the right to enjoy it continuously. The wife is obliged to obey her husband, live in her house, take care of her household, and care for and educate her children. On the other hand, the husband is responsible for meeting his needs and shopping for him as long as the bond as husband and wife is still well established.

2. The second wood (aju) "mulle all ga, polengangi waju binemu na tutukengi welang pelang na" can you provide clothes for your wife to cover her body). As a normal man, we want our wives to look attractive and elegant, look attractive and elegant, and be supported with appropriate clothes; therefore, we must prepare the wife's needs as a good husband. How embarrassed a husband would be if his wife rarely changed clothes, especially the character of a Bugis "maraja Siri" (high embarrassment) and also being able to prepare a place to live for your wife so that there is a place for you to chat and build a family). A husband must prepare himself to live independently and make his own house. The term bugis says "namua lo maruru, assaleng bolata mato,

أَ ْك َم ُل ا ْل ُم ْؤ ِمنِيْ َن إِيْ َمانًا أَ ْح َسنُ ُه ْم ُخ ُلقًا َو ِخيَا ُر ُك ْم ِخيَا ُركُ ْم ِلنِسَائِ ِه ْم ُخلُقَا ُركُ ْم ُخنِسَائِ ِه ْم ُخلُقَا ُركُ ْم ُخنِ َسائِ ِه ْم

Meaning:

"The person whose faith is the most perfect among the believers is the one who is the most morally good among them, and the best you are is the best in character towards his wives" (Narrated by At-Thirmidzi no 1162, Ibnu Majah no 1987 and honored by Shaykh Al -Albani in As-Sahihah no 284)

3. The third wood (aju) "engka moga aju-aju poncommu lega-lega ditenggana dua batu-batu mu" (are there any short pieces of wood that are in the middle of your two stones). It is the most important thing because it involves the continuation of generations and the satisfaction of a woman nourished by the mind. Budi Jamin stated that: "In Assiklaibineng (Bugis Copulation Book), it is not permissible for a man to wake his wife to have sexual relations, especially when the wife is tired so that the prospective groom is not only advised how to make his wife happy in bed but also how to treat it. Wife properly and respectfully," even according to him: "I usually advise the prospective groom to have a relationship with his wife. It should be done after the evening prayer. So as not to spoil the ablution and have a longer time before reaching dawn". The ability of sex in Bugis culture for a man is an absolute requirement for creating harmony in the household. It is known as inner living, happiness, and intercourse with the wife until her sexual needs are met. Intercourse with a wife in the right way and to her desires significantly affects family relationships. Islam also arranges for the relationship between the two to be beautiful and always under Allah Almighty's protection, as in QS. Al-Baqarah: 222: This is known as inner living, happiness, and intercourse with the wife until her sexual needs are met. Intercourse with a wife in the right way and to her desires significantly affects family relationships. Islam also arranges for the relationship between the two to be beautiful and always under Allah Almighty's protection, as in QS. Al-Baqarah: 222: This is known as inner living, happiness, and intercourse with the wife until her sexual needs are met. Intercourse with a wife in the right

6 Jurnal Konsepsi, Vol. 08, No. 1, Mei 2019 ISSN 2301-4059 way and to her desires significantly affects family relationships. Islam also arranges for the relationship between the two to be beautiful and always under Allah Almighty's protection, as in QS. Al-Baqarah: 222:

ۡ َفإِذَا تَ َط َّه ۡر َن َف أتُو ُه َّن ِم ۡن َحۡي ُث أَ َم َر ُك ُم ٱ َّ ُّۚللُ إِ َّن ٱ َّّللَ يُ ِح ُّب ٱلتَّ ََّّٰوبِي َن َويُ ِح ُّب ٱۡل ُمتَ َط ِ ه ِري َن . Translation:

… When they are pure, then mix them in the place that Allah has commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves those who repent and loves those who purify themselves.

A wife, as a human being and a life partner, needs inner support because First: As a human being, a wife has the exact needs as other humans, namely material needs and mental needs, physical and mental needs, and both of them demand fulfillment, if either If it is fulfilled, then the person concerned will shake, like a bird with a broken wing. Second: Not only men who desire women, but women also desire men and among the goals of marriage is to protect the perpetrator from animal acts that are contrary to the noble nature of humans by fulfilling this side of need, and in this problem, the wife is no different from a husband, if a husband gets his needs from his wife, then the same is true for the wife, Supporting and Inhibiting Factors for the Values of Local Wisdom in the Implementation of the Course for Bride and Groom at KUA Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City

The supporting factors for the KUA Bara Subdistrict course are the resource persons' ability for the prospective bride and groom course to insert local wisdom values in the bride and groom's course material. Also, the prospective brides looked serious in receiving the course materials for the bride and groom to be given. Even so, there are still obstacles that hinder the implementation of the bride and groom course at KUA Bara Subdistrict, which must be completed immediately to achieve maximum goals, including:

1. Lack of supporting facilities and infrastructure provides course material for the bride and groom, such as loudspeakers, LCD projectors, and accommodation activities. 2. The bride and groom's time is to be held on working days and hours so that the prospective bride and groom cannot attend the bride-to-be course due to the absence of permission from the prospective bride's superiors' workplace. 3. The difference between the places and areas of residence of the prospective bride and groom who will take the course so that the invitation to take the course of the bride and groom does not reach the prospective bride and groom, because of the limited number of employees, often the KUA Bara Subdistrict has difficulties in delivering invitations to the prospective bride course to the prospective bride and groom. It often happens because the KUA Bara Subdistrict employees are already busy with their respective jobs, so there is no time to hand over invitations to the prospective bride and groom. 4. Lack of budget, the most common obstacle encountered in any activity, is funding issues and the KUA Bara Subdistrict to socialize to prospective brides in dire need of additional operational funds, especially in implementing courses for prospective brides. In the KUA Subdistrict of Bara itself, the budget for this is still limited.

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In the prospective bride and groom's presence, the prospective bride and groom often think that the bride and groom's course is an insignificant activity so that they are more concerned with their work than following the course activities of the prospective bride and groom.

Conclusion Based on the results of the research and discussion previously described regarding the values of local wisdom in the bride and groom course at KUA, Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City, it can be concluded that:

1. The implementation of the bride and groom course at KUA Bara Subdistrict is administratively following the Director-General of Islamic Community Guidance Regulation on Candidate Bride Course Number DJ.II / 491 of 2009 dated December 10, 2009, although, in the process of implementing the bride and groom course, it is still not by the Regulation of the General Director of Islamic Community Guidance of the Ministry of Religion Number DJ.II / 542 of 2013 concerning Guidelines for the Implementation of Pre-Marriage Courses 2. The values of local wisdom are conveyed by the method of lectures and questions and answers between the resource person and the prospective bride and groom at KUA, Bara Subdistrict, Palopo City, with a focus on three values of local wisdom, namely aju tunung (wood/birth support), waju (clothes/honor), aju- aju (inner breadth) 3. The KUA Bara Subdistrict implementation course's supporting factors are the resource persons' ability for the prospective bride and groom course to insert local wisdom values into the course material for the bride and groom. The bride and groom are serious about receiving the course materials for the bride and groom given. Meanwhile, the factors inhibiting the course of the prospective bride and groom are the lack of supporting facilities and infrastructure, the timing of the course of the prospective bride and groom, the differences in places and areas where the prospective bride and groom live, lack of funds, and presence of the prospective bride and groom.

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