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20 July 2008 catalystmagazine.net SPIRITUALLY INCORRECT Trial by Internet? An “archetypal spiritual drama” BY JEFF BELL AND GRETA DEJONG A coalition of women accuse a charismatic spiritual leader of sexual misconduct. The stories sound convincing. The leader falls. arc Gafni and nuance that makes them search Rabbi Gafni—author of seven “Rabbi Gafni was doing some- books, including the best-selling could well their souls. thing that had not been done in “Soul Prints,” and a popular lecturer turn out to And even wilder—they know he is modern Israel,” says Dr. Gabriel and workshop leader—was founder be the hero the subject of Internet stories that Cousens, who attended his teach- of Bayit Hadash, an alternative spir- M of a spiritual paint him as a guy who “harasses” ings in Israel. “He was presenting itual movement in Israel. The epic—or, women, a “sexual predator.” the traditional Jewish teachings in a at least, a organization held retreats, classes way that revealed not only the mys- Everything you observe and intuit and massive services, often gather- psychosexual about him says “Really good per- tical experience embedded in the whodunit blockbuster. ing hundreds of enthusiasts for tradition, but also offered a powerful son.” The Internet gossip sites say Gafni’s celebratory Sabbath services, A rabbi and a Biblical scholar “Really bad person.” Then you get experience of ecstasy and commu- with several published books and a which included music, chanting nity. Most importantly, however, he to see hundreds of documents prov- and dancing. His lectures and classes recently approved doctoral disserta- was the first modern Jewish teacher ing the Internet stories run the on Jewish texts, and on the interface tion from Oxford, Gafni presently gamut from distortion to out-and- I met who taught that Judaism was lives in Salt Lake City. (He anony- out lies, reflecting all the most shad- “Rabbi Gafni was doing at its core a path to liberation.” mously authored “Spiritually owy sides of the blogosphere. It Born in Massachusetts in 1960, Incorrect,” an occasional column begins to occur to you that some- something that had not educated in a yeshiva (a Jewish that appeared last year in CATA- thing deep is going on here. religious high school), Gafni began LYST.) He came to the new Zion two On the surface, it’s a common been done in modern teaching in the Orthodox communi- story: A coalition of women accuse Israel,” says Dr. Gabriel ty around New York City. From his a charismatic spiritual leader of sex- early days as an apprentice rabbi ual misconduct. The stories sound Cousens, who attended and youth group leader, Gafni had convincing. It must be true. The his teachings in Israel. a gift for bringing together the spir- leader falls. itual with the secular, working with Examine the evidence in this “He was presenting the people who wouldn’t normally talk case, and you see something quite traditional Jewish teachings to each other, and creating com- different: Years of recovered email munities. He was known as a pas- and instant messages from the in a way that revealed sionately committed teacher. He women involved, some as recent as spent time as a rabbi in Florida, three weeks before complaints not only the mystical tripling the size of a young congre- were filed, flatly contradict their experience embedded in gation. Then he moved with his own stories. The messages show second wife and two children to that every one of the women was the tradition, but also Israel, where he was rabbi in a set- quite enthusiastically involved with offered a powerful tlement on the border of the West Gafni on her own initiative. What Bank. In the ’90s, he emerged as a popular public teacher in Gafni teaching in happier times. happened that caused them to experience of ecstasy band together and file complaints and community.” Jerusalem and then in Tel Aviv, years ago from Tel Aviv, Israel, where of harassment? And what caused writing books, lecturing to packed he led a large, vibrant movement of their complaints to do so much houses, and appearing at confer- between spirituality, ethics, sexuality Jews who lived on the alternative damage? Spiritual politics, “victim ences and spiritual venues in the and what Western moral philoso- edge, beyond the fringes of organ- feminism,” Gafni’s human com- United States and Europe. phers have called “the good life,” ized religion. Perhaps too close to plexities, and the Internet. Gafni hosted a weekly hour-long that edge, where dangerous things were not only widely attended, but national TV show in Israel for several The more you get to know Gafni, had brought thousands of disaffected can happen—and for Gafni, they did. the more you suspect he is being years. In the U.S., he led crowded Talking with people about Gafni, young Jews back into conversation workshops on the alternative Jewish put through an epic spiritual test, with their tradition. a certain pattern emerges: Here’s a what we might call the Test of Slan- and spiritual scene. He taught guy you’ve hung out with, watching der. It’s actually part of the biography Rabbi Gafni meets with the Dalai Lama at his residence in Dharamsala in 2005. TV and knocking back almond of countless other teachers whose crunch, someone who calls up in lives didn’t fit the “normal” social the middle of the day and talks your pattern and who ended up redefining head off, someone who has the a spiritual tradition. Gafni’s story is usual knotty relational history. He’s still in process. Perhaps 25 years a friend of yours, a normal, some- from now it will be told as a saga of what eccentric guy. Then, little by purification, trial by fire and, hope- little you realize that there’s some- fully, ultimate liberation. thing kind of, well, saintly about him. In the meantime, Gafni—this Stories about Gafni’s actions lean larger-than-life presence tucked toward the saintly as well: People into the compact body of a playful say they have seen him go out of his 47-year-old—is living more or less way to bring estranged friends anonymously in Salt Lake City. together. They’ve seen him take an The story we’re about to tell has entire room full of people through a certain all too familiar elements: one journey of laughter and tears. more example of how, in the Internet They’ve felt an atmosphere around age, false accusations can become as him so affectionate and wild that it established as fact, and how a gifted sparks off energy most haven’t felt teacher with an anti-establishment since childhood. They’ve heard him bent and a bohemian lifestyle can speaking about God and human find his private life subjected to what responsibility and what it means to legal scholar Allen Dershowitz called take care of others with a wisdom “sexual McCarthyism.” 22 July 2008 catalystmagazine.net Continued: SPIRITUALLY INCORRECT Gafni’s former teachers and came to him.” There appears to have been a This woman would later file a complaint on the cadre of colleagues, older teachers and even a few advice of a lawyer, saying that Gafni had prom- colleagues denounced him for students who wanted him out of the way. ised to marry her to gain sexual relations—a Gafni’s main vulnerability was his counter-cul- felony in Israel, where they lived. This claim, and promoting “pagan Judaism.” tural and often bohemian lifestyle. Throughout the claim that Gafni somehow manipulated her, his career, Gafni had several love affairs outside of is refuted by both the tone and content of literally around the world, including appearances at marriage. “I tried to push the boundaries of what hundreds of her emails to him. important synagogues and the Harvard was possible. I experimented,” Gafni admits. “I In 2005, Ha’Aretz, the leading Israeli newspa- Negotiation Project. When terrorists blew up sometimes chose a moment of love over other loy- per, ran a glowing article on Gafni’s work, school buses in Israel, he presented a series of alties. Sometimes I was right, sometimes dead stressing his belief that the feminine godhead spots on national television urging people to hold wrong. Where I was wrong, I’ve and the softer, more erotic aspects of spirituali- on to their humanity in tried to ask forgiveness.” ty need to be restored to contemporary the face of horror. He has During the period following his Judaism. The article was widely quoted, causing recorded dialogues with divorce from his third wife, his an incendiary reaction among rabbis in the the Dalai Lama, Byron lovers included a few women who Orthodox community. Traditionalists who felt Katie, Ken Wilber and had worked with him in his com- threatened by his influence and provocative other spiritual and philo- munity, taught with him, or served personal style objected to his stress on the god- sophical leaders. “Soul on the board of his organization. “I dess in Judaism, and some of Gafni’s former Prints” was a best-seller in was working literally 24/7, teaching teachers and colleagues denounced him for this country, won the and traveling around the clock,” he promoting “pagan Judaism.” The Wikipedia prestigious NAPRA says. “It seemed natural to be entry on Gafni credits him—or accuses, it Nautilus award as the best Gafni among his students in Galilee, Israel involved with people who were depends on how you read it—with leading the spirituality book of 2001 part of my circle. At the time, in my movement to bring eros back into Judaism.

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