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explorations Abiding Our Own Minds

Regional retreats offer quietude and the promise of insight. • by Nell Porter Brown

The Insight IMS’s Forest Refuge Society f the message bert; thebert; abode o /Lou Al ter; IMS n e p ar y C l mi E / t: IMS t: f e ousan abadian, a fellow at MIT’s Da- to reflect, away from lai Lama Center for Ethics, has trav- the hubbub, New rom l eled as far as the Amazon River and England offers a sur- ockwise f

the mountainous peaks of Peru seek- prisingly wide array Cl The Abode of Sing spiritual growth. “My most powerful of sanctuaries and the Message retreats,” she reports, “have been those I’ve retreats, from those done in the natural world, sometimes in my run by Buddhists and Sufis and traditional selves in relation to the world,” says Bos- own backyard, where I have basically sat for Western religious groups to others repre- ton psychotherapist Christopher Germer, hours at a time, sometimes days.” senting different kinds of spiritual or ethical a clinical instructor in psychology in the These , practiced alone or organizations, such as Sirius, a regional off- department of psychiatry at Harvard with a group, have helped quiet her “in- shoot of the Scottish Findhorn Foundation. Medical School and a practicing Buddhist. ner dramas” and her active academic mind. Most promote spiritual learning through A founding member of the Institute for (Abadian, A.M. ’87, M.P.A. ’88, Ph.D. ’99, fo- quietude in a natural setting. Visitors are Meditation and Psychotherapy (www. cuses on the impact of collective trauma on generally expected to respect an atmo- meditationandpsychotherapy.org), Germ- indigenous peoples; see “Trail of Tears, and sphere focused on reflection, , and er has attended countless retreats and Hope,” March-April 2008, page 39.) “When worship, or even maintain strict silence. The now leads them for fellow psychothera- we are so busy in daily life, we are not con- degree of religious adherence varies; some pists through both the institute and the Essex Street scious of the other messages we get, particu- retreats emphasize scriptural teachings and Barre Center for Buddhist Studies (www. Answers larly from our hearts and souls and bodies,” private consultation with spiritual advisers, dharma.org/bcbs), in western Massachu- she asserts. “Retreats allow us to access and while others focus on devotional practices setts. (He and Ronald D. Siegal, assistant strengthen subtle capacities and to hear related to meditation, ecological commu- clinical professor of psychology at HMS, ourselves and others on a different level.” nion, , or other mind-body exercises. have co-edited Wisdom and Compassion in As Abadian has discovered, one need not In the Buddhist tradition, retreats are Psychotherapy: Deepening Mindfulness in Clini- travel to exotic locales to turn inward. For considered “‘deeper practice’ that help us cal Practice, forthcoming from Guilford individuals who want some time and space to reconfigure our sense of self and our- Press, which was inspired by a 2009 HMS

12D January - February 2011

120109_Cabot.indd 1 11/21/11 12:30 PM New England Regional Section

Find solace Visit harvardmag.com/extras for a list of more New England sanctuaries.

conference on the subject attended by the Dalai Lama and scholars, scientists, and therapists from across the country.) “Mindfulness has become probably the dominant paradigm of psychotherapy,” he says. Those in the field attend retreats themselves to learn how to meditate and apply the practice to working with pa- tients. “They also come to be refreshed and Document1Document1 11/20/03 11/20/03 11:51 11:51 AM AM Page Page 1 1 Document1 11/20/03 11:51 AM Page 1 renewed—to manage fatigue,” he explains. “Caregivers need to care for themselves.” Atlifecare Brookhaven living is as good as it looks. Generally, people “in any denomination Brookhaven at Lexington offers an abundance of opportunities for are entering a retreat to feel better,” Germ- intellectual growth, artistic expression and personal wellness. Our residents er says. In his estimation, every retreat, share your commitment to live a vibrant lifestyle in a lovely community. regardless of its spiritual orientation, prob- ably alters our sense of self—whether in Call today to set up an appointment for a tour! relation to a specific struggle or source of A Full-Service Lifecare Retirement Community grief, to the universe, to God, or as a means www.brookhavenatlexington.org of loving and living more compassionately (781) 863-9660 • (800) 283-1114 with others. “Just like spokes on a wheel,

Gonzaga Eastern Point Retreat House ASSISTEDASSISTEDLIVINGLIVINGRETIREMENTRETIREMENTCOMMUNITYCOMMUNITY ASSISTEDRetirementLIVING RETIREMENT CommunityCOMMUNITY www.easternpoint.org Here’sAssisted what Living people are 978-283-0013 Here’sHere’s Memorywhat what people peopleCare are are sayingsaying about about us. us. Gonzaga Eastern Point Retreat saying about us. House, run by Jesuits in an old stone What Do Harvard Alumni mansion on the ocean in Gloucester, Have in Common? Massachusetts, “is known for its sacred silence,” says its director, Father John Cadbury Commons P. Murray. “And most people would say An Uncommon Senior Residence that it is in the silence they meet God.” Retreats lasting from four to 30 days follow the Spiritual Exercises drawn up by Our programsName:Name:Milton willMilton R.engage R. your Occupation:interests,Occupation: Name:ourPostalPostal professional Supervisor,Milton Supervisor, R. Retired Retiredstaff Saint (founder of the Hobbies:Occupation:Hobbies:Reading,Reading,Postal Walking, Supervisor, Walking, Exercising Exercising Retired Jesuits) in the early 1500s, based on his isHobbies: sensitiveReading, to your Walking, needs. Exercising Lifestyle:Lifestyle:Independent,Independent, Active Active own conversion experience. Retreatants ChoiceChoiceLifestyle: of Senior/Assisted of Independent,Senior/Assisted Living: Active Living: ChoiceCadbury ofCadbury Senior/Assisted Commons Commons Living:th meet daily with a spiritual director, at- Cadbury Commons tend communal worship and mass, and “There“ThereHappy is a is stable a stable and and gentle375 gentle atmosphere atmosphere of “There helpof help isand a and stable empathy empathy and throughout gentle throughout atmosphere the the are free to pray in a chapel or to find community.ofcommunity. help I and feel I feelassured empathy assured that throughout thatI am I partam part of the of comfortable nooks throughout the others’community.others’ lives,Anniversary lives, as I theyfeel as theyareassured ofare mine. ofthat mine. For I am Formyself, part myself, of I feelothers’I feel that lives, that Cadbury as Cadbury they Commonsare Commonsof mine. provides For provides myself, a a beautiful, very large house. “The whole wellHarvardI well feeltrained trained that and Cadbury andcaring caring group CommonsCollege! group of people of provides people who who a key to the Spiritual Exercises is freedom,” arewell interestedare trained interested in and my in caring welfare.”my welfare.” group of people who are interested in my welfare.” Murray says. “The interior freedom... CallCall (617) (617) 868-0575 868-0575k to arrange to arrange a personal a personal may include the use of music (through tour,CallCalltour, (617) or(617) visit or 868-0575 visit868-0575 www.cadburycommons.com www.cadburycommons.com to arrangeto arrange a personal a personal tour, tour,or or visit visit www.cadburycommons.com www.cadburycommons.com headphones) and books and art. So we WhereWhere The The Emphasis Emphasis Is On Is OnLiving Living Where The Emphasis Is On Living provide a spiritual library. We have three 66 Sherman6666 Sherman Sherman Street, Street, Street, Cambridge, Cambridge, Cambridge, 66 Sherman Street, Cambridge, EQUAL EQUAL MA 02140◆ ◆ (617) 868-0575 HOUSING HOUSING MAMA 02140 02140 (617)• (617)868-0575 868-0575 OPPTYEQUALOPPTY ◆ HOUSING MA 02140 (617) 868-0575 OPPTY

12F January - February 2011 Re ond al E m st m a a t e H

New England Regional Section

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we all end up in the same hub; ultimately 33 1 1 981 201 everyone gets to the same place through - a committed practice,” he explains. “The question that may arise is: What is the best path? And the answer is: The path you are most committed to.” Spiritual retreats are not spa vacations. They do not typically involve fluffy-towel pampering and pedicures, much less per- sonal computers or electronic communica- tions; many even prohibit books and music. Germer says silent retreats in particular raise the essential question: How do I abide Cambridge...For Lease: 8,400 square- Cambridge...Located on 1/2 acre off Brattle my own mind? “As writer Anne Lamont foot building in the heart of Harvard Street, the “Arthur Astor Carey House,” says, ‘My mind is a neighborhood I try not Square. Perfect for consultants, school, c. 1882, has 15 rooms, including 8 BR, study, or non-profit. pantry, breakfast room, and a 500 sq. ft. to go into alone.’” great hall. A rare and historic landmark in a Entering into silence or quietude for most desirable location. $5,000,000 even a few days, Abadian notes, shuts off the usual avenues of distraction: family and job duties, the Internet, household chores. She has spent formative time at The Abode, a Sufi retreat center in New Lebanon, New York, walking trails and sitting in silent meditation. “When you get rid of all your outer distractions,” she explains, “your in- chapels where the Blessed Sacrament is observed. The dining room faces the Lexington...Elegant Shingle Style treasure Belmont...2- to 3-bedroom condominium ocean and also has many places for peo- on coveted Follen Hill. 4BR, 3.5BA, overlooking park on dead-end street. ple to sit quietly and write.” sunroom, library, original detail, mahogany Renovated bathroom and granite eat-in Meals are communal and accompanied 2-level deck and garage. For details, call: kitchen. Hardwood floors and in-unit 781-861-8100. $899,000 laundry. $339,000 by classical music. Guests are housed in single rooms (there are more than 50 bedrooms), so there is adequate privacy, even though bathrooms are shared. In good weather, many questers take walks or scramble along the rocky shoreline in search of a place to sit and read or pray. “It’s very simple and comfortable, and people like it,” reports Murray. “We are crowded all the time, although the quieter months are February and March. We have a waiting list and reservations Cambridge...Harvard Square. Rare to Cambridge...Superb Ralph Adams Cram should be made six months in advance.” market, well-planned 2-bedroom, 2-bath single-family in most sought-after area condominium in very desirable, established of Cambridge. Lovely receptions rooms, Gonzaga Eastern doorman building. Many amenities. library, many bedrooms, many baths. Point Retreat House Garage parking. $995,000 Superb site. Messervy gardens. $2,950,000 www.hammondre.com

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Harvard Magazine 12G New England Regional Section ner distractions show up—and whatever “The encouragement is to unplug from the bombardment of emotions you have stuffed down and not this world,” says Susan Morgan. Phone sensory stimuli that dealt with tend to bubble to the surface: contact is discouraged, as are reading and are most notable. You Visit harvardmag.com/ anger, sadness, frustrations. The processes writing: “You might take a few notes or appreciate how much extras to view more photographs of New suggested by your [retreat] guide are de- read spiritual literature to stay focused,” sensory stimulation we England’s sanctuaries. signed to move you through these emo- she says. But mostly she meditates, walks, are experiencing just tions—to acceptance and greater clarity.” and chants. The goal is “to learn how to trying to get through the day.” Cambridge psychotherapists Susan and straddle that line between participant and In 2012 Morgan will return to Cam- Bill Morgan recently began participating observer all the time,” she says, “and learn bridge only once every three months to for the third year in an extensive silent how to meet all of experience with a cer- see clients in her private psychotherapy meditation retreat at the Forest Refuge, tain amount of equanimity.” practice. She is confident that they will a retreat for seasoned practitioners that The silence has already made her keenly benefit from her experience. Silent retreat, is part of the Insight Meditation Society aware of the daily barrage of mechanical she says, makes one cognizant of imperma- (www.dharma.org), a sister organization and electronic noise and of advertisements, nence and of the constant passage of time. to the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies. along with the compulsion to socialize. “You are aware of mortality every day; that The Morgans live in separate rooms but “I think there is an excess of idle chatter. is a huge part of the retreat experience. ‘If share silent meals and sit next to each oth- People have a hard time being alone,” she this was your last day on earth, how do er in the meditation hall, where she arrives says. “It’s powerful coming out of retreat you want to live it? Where do you want every day at 4:30 a.m. By 6:15 a.m., there and feeling more acutely the pulse, vibra- to point your boat? Do you even know?’” is chanting with fellow retreatants, then tion, and the intensity of the world,” she are questions that keep arising. She has communal breakfast. says, “It is the speed, the aggression, and found that the meditation practices help

The Society of St. The Society of St. John the Evangelist John the Evangelist www.ssje.org in Cambridge recently read aloud from a biography of 617-876-3037, ext. 10 Dietrich Bonhoeffer during dinner. The Society of St. John the Evange- Retreatants are welcome Tuesday list, a small monastic community of the through Sunday during every month but Episcopal Church, has two locations with August; most stay three or four days at a open chapels and retreat accommoda- time, and many return annually. “People tions. One is the Colonial-era Emery come here for all sorts of reasons; we’ve House (with more modern guest cottages had believers and non-believers, Jewish down the hill) on nearly 150 acres of for- people, and all stripes of Christians,” says ests and rolling fields along the Merrimack James Koester, the senior brother at Emery River in West Newbury, Massachusetts. House, who has lived there for 20 years. The other is along Memorial He does the cooking and the chores neces- Drive in Cambridge (on land originally sary to run the property (like feeding the gift of silence allows people to start to lis donated to the society by Isabella Stewart chickens, mowing the fields, and tending the ten to God speaking and to experience Gardner): a Romanesque-looking, 1920s beehives) along with two other brothers. being in the world in a different way,” stone structure facing the Charles River “What we’re offering is an opportunity to he adds. “Sometimes people sit silently that recently underwent an $11-million share our life of community and ,” and just watch the light on the landscape renovation. Twelve guest rooms are avail- he explains. “The way to commune with change throughout the day.” Daily mass, able there, with simple furnishings and God here is through nature.” prayers, and Eucharist are optional for access to a communal kitchen for snacks Even those visitors underprepared to guests, as is arranging private counsel and drinks and to a living room with com- spend their days in silence have left with with the brothers. fortable chairs and plenty of books. a deep appreciation of how that prac- The atmosphere at both of the society’s In both places, si- Emery House tice slows them down retreats is peaceful and open as long as ist lence is observed and accentuates the guests are respectful of life there. Artists l ge n

even during meals sounds of the birds, can paint, for example. And when asked va (which are shared the wind, the rushing if alcohol is permitted, Koester smiles. with the monks), al- river—often sounds “We don’t look through people’s luggage. n the E t. Joh t.

though classical music they have never re- If a little toddy at the end of the day is f S is played and, in Cam- ally listened to before, something they find helpful, that’s fine,”

bridge, one brother Koester reports. “The he says. “I know I do.” ociety o e S TH

12H January - February 2011 New England Regional Section

The Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center Begin your own tradition. http://isabellafreedman.org 860-824-5991

The Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center in Falls Village, Con- necticut, offers year-round programs, is home to a six-acre organic farm, and promotes “community and pluralism and ecological consciousness,” according to program manager Adam “Segulah” Sher. A popular annual meditative retreat, “The Gift of Silence,” runs from Christ- mas Day to New Year’s Day, and an- other one is planned for the summer. Other kinds of group religious retreats, as well as educational classes and work- shops, are offered throughout the year. You never actually own a Patek Philippe. There is a glass-walled synagogue over- You merely take care of it for the next generation. looking a lake and the Berkshire foot- hills. Shabbat and prayer services are offered at specific retreats. The kitchen and dining room are glatt kosher, but the retreat is flexible about Shabbat and other religious practices. “If you want LUXLUX BONDBOND & &GREEN GREEN to use your cell phone on a Saturday,” JEWELRYJEWELRY WATCHES WATCHES GIFTS GIFTS • SINCE • 1898SINCE 1898 Sher notes, “nobody will question that.” There is also plenty of opportunity to 46 LaSalle416 Boylston Road WEST Street HARTFORD BOSTON 860.521-3015 617.266.4747 60 Central Street WELLESLEY 781.235.9119 rest and relax in this camp-like environ- 416 Boylston Street BOSTON 617.266.4747 6046 Central LaSalle Street Road WELLESLEY West Hartford 781.235.9119 860.521.3015 ment. Most of the visitors live in cities and enjoy coming to learn about organic farming practices—the center grows Annual Calendar Chronograph Ref. 5960P its own vegetables, raises animals, and produces dairy products—and experi- ence the natural beauty. The campus has We invite you to visit our Patek Philippe numerous walking and hiking trails, and boutique in our Boston location. people swim and boat on the lake. “It’s so dark at night you can see the stars,” Sher says. “We build a fire in winter and people sit quietly. People feel they can COMING NEXT ISSUE... create their own retreat experience.”

The Isabella ter Freedman n POSTCARDS Jewish Retreat Center FROM ewish retreat ce

n j NEW Showcasing warm weather getaway ideas for

a Freedma ENGLAND ll Harvard Magazine readers. sabe he I T To advertise, contact Abby Williamson: [email protected]

Harvard Magazine 12I New England Regional Section

“cultivate wise, caring attention in life. I waves of emotion and reactivity. Mindful- as we move through the world and inter- am able to stay present with what is hap- ness creates a space that allows us to make act with others. The process is about dis- pening and not be swept under by the more skillful and compassionate choices covering how to use this one life well.” The Abode of the Message (many of whom live at The Abode), that last the dining hall. The local natural beauty alone anywhere from three to 40 days; retreats may be enough for some to book a stay at www.theabode.net run by outside groups—Catholic, Jewish, The Abode. Wooded hikes and mountain 518-794-8090 Tibetan, for example; or guests may also climbs offer majestic views. There is even The Abode of the Message is a Sufi re- create their own “rest and relaxation” a bridge suspended over a cliff, affording a treat center located just over the Mas- retreats. Massages and other body treat- sense of “standing in mid-air,” McCloud re- sachusetts border, in New Lebanon, New ments are available. No prior knowledge ports. “Some like it as a meditation spot. It’s York. Built in 1785 as the Mount Lebanon of is necessary, nor do guests need like a bridge to nowhere. Others are too South Family Shaker Village, The Abode is to be exclusively interested in that practice. scared to go out there. now a community of the Sufi Order Inter- “Love, peace, and harmony are the three national. Many original structures and fur- most important things here,” says Mc- nishings are still in use and the campus sits Cloud. Classes and workshops on Sufism on 400 acres that include an organic farm, and other religious and spiritual practices a pond, and hilly trails into the Berkshires. are offered daily; all, as well as the universal “There are many ways to be here de- worship on Sundays, are open to everyone. pending on what you are looking for,” The main house has guest rooms, but notes programs manager Amalae Mc- there are also cabins and huts. Silent retreat-

Cloud. There are individual silent retreats, ers have simple, mostly vegetarian, meals de- The Abode of f the message the Message

done alone or with experienced Sufi guides livered to them, while others eat together in bode o he A T

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If you would like to list a property in our March-April issue, contact Abby Williamson: 617.496.4032.

12J January - February 2011