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The Insatiable Quest for Self-Worth

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The Insatiable Quest for Self-Worth Psychological Inquiry An International Journal for the Advancement of Psychological Theory 2003, Vol. 14, No. 1 The Insatiable Quest for Self-Worth Jennifer Crocker Department of Psychology University of Michigan Noah Nuer Learning as Leadership, Inc. What is optimal self-esteem? Ryan, 2000). Paradoxically, from this According to Kernis (this volume), perspective self-esteem is optimal when optimal self-esteem is best thought of as we are not pursuing it, not trying to get an individual difference variable-- it, protect it, or increase it—when it is something that some people have and not on the radar screen or the ultimate others do not. Ironically, even framing goal of our current activity. This the issue of optimal self-esteem in this perspective leads us to ask how we can way creates a sense of competition and shift from pursuing self-esteem to scarcity, threatening the self-esteem of pursing goals that are more likely to lead those who are deemed not to have to the satisfaction of our fundamental optimal self-esteem. Is your self-esteem human needs, and what we can do to more optimal than mine? How can I get support ourselves and others to make optimal self-esteem for my children? this shift. Viewing optimal self-esteem in this way In our view, it is misguided to make can trigger an anxious and self-centered achieving high self-esteem, or even focus on getting something for the self. optimal self-esteem, the ultimate goal. In contrast, inspired by the We see self-esteem as a means, not an distinction between having and doing end. There may be some minimum level personality (Cantor, 1990), we suggest of self-esteem that is required to have that it is more useful to think of optimal enough confidence in ourselves to self-esteem in terms of momentary achieve our goals, to believe that we pursuit of goals, specifically whether our have a chance to make them happen. current thoughts and behavior serve a Beyond that minimum, increasing the higher-order goal of maintaining, level of self-esteem people have does not protecting, or enhancing self-esteem. seem to increase the chances that they We argue that self-regulation guided by will achieve their goals (Baumeister, higher-order self-esteem goals interferes 1998; Dawes, 1994). with satisfaction of our fundamental human needs for competence, relatedness, and autonomy (Deci & 1 Psychological Inquiry An International Journal for the Advancement of Psychological Theory 2003, Vol. 14, No. 1 The Costs of Pursuing Self-Esteem whose self-worth is based on their academic performance experience more This pursuit of self-esteem comes at time pressure, struggle to meet their own a high price (Crocker, in press-b). The and others’ academic standards, and price may be difficult to see, because in report more conflicts with professors and the short term there are significant teaching assistants, but do not get higher emotional benefits to the pursuit of self- grades (controlling for SAT and ACT esteem—when we are successful, we scores) than students who score feel worthy, which leads to positive relatively low in this contingency affect and a sense that we are safe, (Crocker & Luhtanen, 2002). secure, and superior. As terror Consequently, one major cost of management theory argues, self-esteem pursuing self-esteem is learning is a great anxiety reliever (Solomon, (Crocker & Park, in press). When our Greenberg, & Pyszczynski, 1991). But goal is self-esteem, we are focused on the “high” or feeling of safety that what we are now, not what we need to accompanies a boost in self-esteem is become. And because we want to feel short-lived (Crocker, Sommers, & worthy, we are not realistic about our Luhtanen, in press). Consequently, the strengths and weaknesses, where we pursuit of self-esteem becomes a never- need to improve, what we have ending quest. When we take a long-term accomplished and what we still need to and more global perspective, the costs of accomplish; instead, we cling to positive pursuing self-esteem are clear. illusions about the self (Taylor & When the superordinate goal is Brown, 1988). When our goal is to proving one’s worth by achieving succeed or avoid diagnostic failure to success or avoiding diagnostic failure in protect self-esteem, we do not learn from domains in which self-worth is mistakes, criticism, or feedback. We contingent, difficulty in accomplishing focus on performance rather than subordinate goals (e.g., getting good learning (Dweck, 2000). We direct our grades or making a scientific efforts to ensuring that, should failure contribution) raises fears of becoming a occur, blame will be placed somewhere failure, a worthless nothing (Crocker & other than our lack of ability (Blaine & Wolfe, 2001). Driven by these fears, Crocker, 1993; Crocker & Park, in people will go to many lengths to press). Consequently, when succeed, including arguing, scheming, maintaining, protecting, and enhancing and cheating (Covington, 1984; self-esteem is the superordinate goal, Covington, 2000; Dweck, 2000). people avoid focusing on their own Confronted with difficulty, the main goal responsibility for their outcomes, and becomes avoiding failure that is avoid looking carefully at what they diagnostic. Consequently, people will could have done differently to achieve a protect self-esteem by finding excuses better outcome. Defense of self-esteem for failure, self-handicapping, blaming draws attention away from realistic others, or dismissing the importance of appraisals of the areas in which we need the task, even if these strategies decrease to improve. the chances of accomplishing A second major cost of pursuing subordinate goals (Covington, 1984; self-esteem is the ability to forge Covington, 2000; Crocker & Park, in mutually supportive relationships with press). For example, college students 2 Psychological Inquiry An International Journal for the Advancement of Psychological Theory 2003, Vol. 14, No. 1 others (Crocker & Park, in press). person rather than looking at how our Pursuing self-esteem requires self-focus, help could have been more effective, or which interferes with awareness of and more responsive to the other’s needs. responsiveness to others’ needs (Carver Seeking self-esteem becomes a diversion & Scheier, 1998). In seeking self-esteem from addressing the real issues in our we not only need to be competent, right, lives. It diverts us from asking, “Where or good—we need to be more competent do I need to improve so I can better than others, right “over” them, or more accomplish the goals that reflect my core good than they are (Brown, 1986; Taylor values?” & Brown, 1988). Life becomes a zero- The ultimate long-term cost of the sum game, with things that bolster my pursuit of self-esteem is the damage it self-worth coming at the expense of your does to the satisfaction of the self-worth, and vice versa. In pursuing fundamental human needs for true self-esteem, we want to be admired by (rather than illusory) competence, others, yet they become a danger to us. relatedness, and autonomy (Deci & It is not surprising, then, that people Ryan, 2000). When self-esteem is the engaged in the pursuit of self-esteem superordinate goal, we prefer the illusion respond to self-threats with avoidance, of competence, and current success over distancing, and withdrawal, or with learning from failure. We prefer being blame, excuses, anger, antagonism, and better than others to being nonperfect but aggression (Crocker & Park, in press). mutually supportive of them. We prefer All of these responses take a tremendous feeling worthy to learning how we can toll on meaningful, authentic, and better accomplish goals that emanate supportive connections with others from our core self. The cost of all of this (Pyszczynski, Greenberg, & Goldenberg, is isolation and disconnection from in press). When our superordinate goal is others, limitations to our ability to learn demonstrating our worth or value as a and grow from our experience, and person, we become isolated and being diverted from pursuing goals that disconnected from others. reflect our core values. A third cost of pursuing self-esteem is self-regulation. When our actions Implications for Optimal Self-Esteem have the higher-order goal of and Authenticity maintaining, protecting, or enhancing self-esteem, we are quickly and easily In this view, optimal self-esteem is diverted from the subordinate goal, paradoxically achieved when we are not whether it is making a scientific pursuing self-esteem—when our goals contribution or helping another person, emanate from our inner values, are into goals concerning our own self- larger than the self, and do not have the esteem. Rather than welcoming superordinate goal of self-worth. The critiques of our work as opportunities for features of nonoptimal self-esteem learning, we see them as threats to our identified by Kernis are, I argue, a worth or value, and focus our energy on consequence of pursuing self-esteem, counter-arguing them, rather than using not an inevitable consequence of the them as leverage to make our work type of self-esteem one has. better. When attempts to help others are Defensiveness is a common response to rebuffed, we focus on blaming the other actual or perceived threats in domains of 3 Psychological Inquiry An International Journal for the Advancement of Psychological Theory 2003, Vol. 14, No. 1 contingency—when self-esteem is the and larger than the self. Openness and superordinate goal, we vigorously truthfulness in close relationships is defend our self-views in these domains made possible when our superordinate because our worth as a person is at stake goals do not concern our self-esteem or (Crocker & Park, in press). Instability of self-worth. It is the pursuit of self- self-esteem is the result of experiencing esteem, rather than the type of self- successes and failures we cannot esteem we have, that blocks us from successfully defend against when the achieving authenticity.
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