The Year Of Falling Apart Despite my longstanding pledge not to bore the population in general with my old age ailments, I feel compelled to recount a bit, for family archival purposes, my experience in what I am calling 2014: The Year of Falling Apart. Except for my long-standing belief that when you get old, shit hurts, I’ve been very blessed with good health and minimal serious aches and pains. Consequently, 2014 has been a moderately frustrating year. Shortly after Christmas 2013 I began experiencing some upper back pains that would gradually work around to my chest, also some stomach problems. I attributed this to the stress I felt in January over five major writing deadlines in a month’s time. There was some relief after I got over that hurdle but then the pain crept back. It was joined occasionally by something that was the opposite of reflux. I did not have a problem with things coming back at me; my problem was that I was sometimes unable to swallow. On one occasion with Joe Moudry I simply had to take my lunch home in a box. I couldn’t swallow well enough to eat it. Same situation a few weeks later at a family dinner with guests. My doctor, Tom Nolen, suspected gall bladder issues with the upper back pain. He scheduled me for a gall bladder ultrasound test. That proved negative (or positive, depending on how you interpret the results). Let’s just say I was okay. When the problem persisted he set me to a nuclear medicine clinic for additional gall bladder testing. Again the result was negative/positive as the first one above. Meanwhile, my doctor reminded me that it was way past time for me to have a colonoscopy because I had been dodging that for 10 years or so. I agreed. When I had my pre-procedure interview with the gastroenterology physician I mentioned the back and chest pains and swallowing difficulty. He said he would investigate the swallowing problem with an esophagastroduodenoscopy (no wonder they just call it EGD!) procedure when he did the colonoscopy. I believe that is referred to as an “upper and lower” in colloquial terms. If there can be any good news in the prep, it is the fact that a fleet enema is no longer required for the colonoscopy. I came away from the morning’s unpleasantness the good news that there were no colon problems and a set of 10 lovely color pictures of my innards. Dr. Day said the procedure took a little longer than usual because I had a “loopy colon.” Nancy had great fun texting that to the family and so did they responding to it. As for the EGD, I have an ulcer of some sort that may be the culprit. I am now on a two-pill regimen with instructions to come back for a repeat procedure in two months. Although I have had an occasional recurrence of the eating difficulty, the pills seem to be providing significant relief. Also, I haven’t had one of the back pains in several weeks. On the Treadmill In July we rejoined the YMCA in nearby Alabaster to make certain programs such as swimming lessons, available for Atticus. I acquiesced to Nancy’s insistence that I begin an exercise program with her at the YMCA. When we were signing up, the Personal Trainer, happily typing data into her computer, asked what I wanted to accomplish ( i.e., weight loss, 1 muscle tone, energy boost, etc.) She pretty much lost it when I said my primary goal was to get my wife off my back. “They don’t have that one on the list, but maybe we should add it,” she said. Dourly I began doing a mile of treadmill walking and tension reps on 10 or 12 weight machines. I have been very diligent about maintaining the two-day-a-week schedule. Not long after starting this routine I learned that a bulging belly button was not the result of too many years of unchecked pork skins and beer, turning my original “inny” into an “outy.” The bulge was actually a hernia. I should have recognized it as I had an inguinal hernia back in the ‘80s. I decided I will return to Dr. Nolen for yet another referral after the first of the year. Meanwhile, consulting with one of the PTs at the Y, I have backed off from exercises that should add any undue stress. I did reduce the weight from 30 to 10 pounds per rep on some exercises as an added precaution. I am still walking a mile per outing. I have tried to increase the number of days I do this to offset the loss of the other exercises. And to head off the anticipated, “Don’t you feel so much better after you work out?” No, I don’t feel so much better. I feel hot and tired and sweaty and in need of a tall glass of ice water. Hopefully, any follow-up on the above will require no more than a paragraph next issue. Kilby Prison, Lenny Kaye The Internet and Fandom I have been dabbling in eBay for 10 years or so, mostly sports media guides and game programs, stuff that I accumulated in more than 40 years of part-time sports writing. I’ve also sold a few other things, some first edition magazines, a few breweriana items. In early October I ran across a 1966 copy of The Kilby Sun, a tabloid-type newspaper published by and for the inmates of Kilby Prison, Alabama’s main lockup at the time. I didn’t figure there would be any interest in it, but listing costs are negligible. Within a few hours, I received the following question: “Hello there, Do you have any other issues of this newspaper? If so, I’d be interested in buying whatever you have. Best, Michael.” As it was, I did have several other issues, all of which I had picked up while writing a newspaper feature story on the prison paper. I responded to that effect, saying I’d be happy to work out a deal for the remaining copies after the auction ended. I signed my response “Bill Plott” as I always do rather than just using my eBay ID. A few hours later I received: “Thanks! Would you by any chance be Billy Joe Plott who once contributed to SF fanzines?” It turned out that Michael P. Daley edited The Tattooed Dragon Meets The Wolfman, the 200-page catalogue for a New York exhibition of 1940-71 fanzines belonging to Lenny Kaye. About half a dozen of the zines in the show were ones that had been addressed to me. Lenny Kaye, whose named sounded vaguely familiar, but it took a little Googling to put him in perspective. Kaye was a member of The Patti Smith Group and a music historian. He put out several fanzines himself – Obelisk, Sadistic Sphinx, Hieroglyph and Pharoah – and was involved in fandom for several years. A press release noted that “these fanzines represent ground zero for the zine explosion that was to come years later in rock, punk, skate, fashion and art. They are the origination of modern DIY publishing.” Still, two questions came to mind. First, how did Kaye come by fanzines that had been addressed to me? For that I have no answer. Second, how did Michael Daley stumble across an eBay listing for a bit of obscure Alabama memorabilia and what was his interest in it? Surely, he was not a Kilby “alumnus,” tracking down souvenirs of the old days. The answer: “I am 2 currently writing a book about prison periodicals, and so I am building a research library of these publications for myself.” How about all of that, Coincidence Lovers!? We negotiated a reasonable price for the other issues of the newspaper plus some bonus items that included a two-page typed letter from the Kilby warden about the paper, a copy of a Nevada State Prison literary magazine from the same period and a copy of An Incompleat Puzzle, a collection of stories and poems by inmates at an Alabama Youth Services facility. This little book was edited by my longtime friend Danny Gamble, who taught creative writing to the teenagers for several years. Time On Her Hands, Again Heloise: “Dear Readers: The loud banging of cabinet doors slamming shut is something we can all do without. Instead of buying felt to cushion the cabinet doors, thinly slice wine corks and glue the slices onto the corners of the cabinet doors and drawers. It will save you time, money and some peace of mind.” Bill: “Have you ever been worried about cabinet doors?” Nancy: “Only when they’re standing open and I bang my head on them.” My 6,128 Favorite Books That’s actually the headline on a story that ran in The Wall Street Journal in October 2012. The clipping surfaced recently as I was wading through one of the stacks of accumulated paper in my office. The piece by Joe McQueen was an excerpt from One for the Books, which was scheduled to be published by Viking (Penguin) that week. McQueen said his reading started with borrowing books from bookmobile when he was seven years old. The habit grew exponentially and has him now sometimes reading a dozen or more books simultaneously. He goes on to explain his reading habits such as disdaining any book critics describe as “luminous” or “incandescent.” He notes that he read John Steinbeck’s Tortilla Flats during one sitting while listening to a nine-hour Jerry Garcia guitar solo on “Truckin’.” While the overall essay was quite interesting, it also disappointing in that he never explained how he came to decide on 6,128 books.