Vanessa Pager-2
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
I PREDICT ne early morning on a TGIF in an unusually freezing Mumbai (the one weekend I thought I could go without Delhi essentials - those darn things called warmers! Equal parts bundled up baby and Egyptian mummy), is when the rendezvous happens. Takes place. Occurs. Acts out. Unfolds. Because with this one, it’s all about the performance/act/playacting. Vinay Pathak and the fine art of O“If there’s a play in the script, then I’m your player.” In so many words. making dimaag ka dahi. Movies, too. SCENE ONE FIRST CITY in (and with) one The real moustache serious Mumbaiyya guffaw. Enter Vinay Pathak. Shades. Armed with fruits. (“A box full Demonstrating his many roop, of fruits! A fruitful box! Stop!”). And a crazy sense of humour. bahut pehloo. Is story mein “Opening shot! I loved the opening shot of Manorama “melodramabaazi” hai, sobriety Six Feet Under. Have you seen that film? Not because I’m in it! Heh heh. I get goosebumps when I see it! The way he hai. Aur comic relief hai. What captures the magnanimous land, time, space. And the real- happened this one day close to ness of Abhai with the tan and the moustache. The real moustache. And the voiceover starts about an- Lokhandwala, was nothing short ecdotes and his life and storytelling, and of paisa vasool. that Yana shot and the bike smashes through her. Fantastic! What an opening shot!” Here’s how it rolled... SCENE TWO: Radio Moscow, Vividh Bharati, Voice of America, Sri Lanka, Radio Nepal Vinay’s running late. The last SMS-update after a warm ‘Welcome to Mumbai nagri’ reads ‘Coming up. Five minutes’. And sure enough, in seven and a half, there he is. Just a little out of breath after running up the six floors (“Cardio subah hi ho jaata hai”). And now chewing on the fruits slowly (“my platter”), dispensing wisdom, “There’s a fruit in here that’s not even a fruit. Cucumber... Meri dadi kehti thi ‘Din ka kheera heera, aur raat ka kheera, peeda’. It’s a very Ayurvedic concept.” Building a solemn moment. “I felt shitty and guilty about making you guys wait, and so I said, ‘I’m going to cut the fruits myself today’. So now you’ll have to put me on the cover? Right?” He likes the photographer’s glasses. Almost 28 FIRST CITY • MARCH 2008 A RIOT to distraction. “Ab picture ki shuruat hui hai aur item song nahi daalein toh kaise chalega? Hello!” and takes off on the long story (“Anecdotes are what I’m all about”) of how “One whole lifetime happened in my one Diwali vacation!” Charting out his “enormous” family tree, back in Bihar where he grew up, “You know, how in peoples’ homes, when there is a wed- ding, everyone comes, from different places... bua ji, yeh woh, phalaan, dhimkaan, one week of chaos, sab chale gaye, chalo album dekhte hain. For us, that was normal! Sannaatta toh kabhi suna hi nahi... My dad has eight brothers, my dad being the eldest. So I have seven uncles, the youngest uncle of mine is younger than my elder sister. And I think my mom and my grandmother were pregnant around the same time! Twice! They must’ve exchanged notes. ‘How do we stay fit? Let’s do it together, sister’. Oh! It was like, ‘Why can’t you guys have differences and the broth- ers part, yaar?’ Come on! Cooking for everybody together. Ouch! And no take-outs, okay? Back then? Take-outs se toh better hai apna restaurant khol lo, hai na? They should’ve started charging, my mother and all the women. ‘Achcha bhaiyya aapke huye’... I’m going off on a tangent. Again. But I have a huge family! I can’t just mention them and move on! They’re huge!” Raging Bull, an imposing back- drop just a while ago, now recedes into the back- ground, simply because you cannot take your attention off Vinay for one nanosecond, “You know, now everyone talks about Hin- di cinema being a big part of our lives and all that. But it’s not a new thing. I remember how my dad grew up loving Meena Kumari. He asked me for a book on her and I’ve been looking and looking for this book all over the place. And finally my dad found it himself. On the net! Hello! Another uncle is a Sulakshana Pandit fan! (makes a face, mimes why?) I’ll tell you why... she’s Pandit, we’re Brahmins from Bihar. Silly reasons to fall in love with a woman he’s never going to see in his life, leave alone touch! You name the cliché, and I have it in my family. It’s life. My life... This other uncle was a Dharmen- dra fan, and it was very obvious, woh roz sau dand belte the, dole shole, aur upar lole (makes a d-uh expression). 6 feet tall. He would say things like, ‘Eeth leke aao, bachchon, main FIRST CITY • MARCH 2008 29 todke dikhata hoon’. He used to study in college... My sister... SCENE THREE a maverick radio player, magic touch on her fingers. At any It was like organised time of the day, day or night, she could find and play Hindi filmi songs on radio. She knew the times of Radio Moscow, crime Vividh Bharati, Voice of America, Sri Lanka, Radio Nepal. Matlab tyun tyun (mimes turning radio knobs) aur bas gaana Vinay’s on a green tea spree (“No health diet. I’m not shuru, ‘Mera gora ang lai le’. Now they talk of radio jockeys! starving myself or anything. I can burp right now if you So, I would never think it’s traumatic to see like.”). He orders another round, as our tête-à-tête warms bizarre stuff, I was living it!” And what, pray, cliché up. “I got into movies when I think I was was Vinay? “I was observing. The observer cliché.” seven. And they became everything. To the 30 FIRST CITY • MARCH 2008 point that by the time I was in college, that SCENE FOUR took on new meaning! Russian dubbed There are scripts that films, B grade films dubbed, C grade Hol- lywood flicks, European films. I remember could be worse than watching these semi porn flicks, because the libido’s kicked drugs! They’re bad for in and we’ve just discovered ourselves. And it’s not just you, son about movies anymore! I was studying in Allahabad univer- sity. And you know, back then, in Allahabad, there were 22 cinema halls. Which meant 44 movies, at least. No repeats! inay has a flight in less than two hours. Ek thi ji Her Nights. Har saal banti thi ji. Iske alaava maine There’re cheques to be signed, bank to Allahabad mein kuch nahi kiya. In all my three years of BA, be visited, Mumbai traffic to be tackled, I must’ve gone for classes twice, I think. I used to take my precious SMS-invites to be read out exams, because otherwise, I’d fail. Aur fail ho jaayenge toh (‘Wanna party tonight, baby?’), and dande padenge. Dande nahi bhi pade toh daant padegi. photographer asides to be performed Daant nahi bhi padi ji toh paise aane bandh ho jaayenge. (“IsseV zyaada khoobsoorat nahi lagoonga main, theek?”). And I used to score marks also. See, the smart thing I did Besides lunch (“But I’m still eating my fruits!”). “I was I studied in school. And if you study upto Class XII, then wanted to be a pilot and I wanted to be a BA happens easily in India. This is my belief.” The board- teacher. And yes, in that way, I wanted to ing-school-in-Ranchi story’s filmi too. “Now, first and third be the hero.” An after thought, “I still want to be a Sundays, we were allowed to go the nearest town. Only by teacher, in fact. Damn!” We’ve lost Vinay for a bit. Earth written permission from parents or guardians. Of course, to Vinay. “Yeah. But. You talk about playing the lead? that’s not going to happen. So, what do you do? You create Would any actor have those ideas? Hello! See, it’s sto- applications! There were some 12 or 13 of us, and we used rytelling! And every actor would want to be the storytell- to go together. Aur raaste mein hi plan ban gaya. Chaar- er. I’d be a hypocrite if I’d say I don’t want to be the chaar ka group ban gaya. Tu chala jaa Sujata, hum rehte integral part of the storytelling, no no. Unfortunately, hain Sandhya. (These were names of cinema halls. Ogay?). we only know one kind of integral storytelling in Hindi It was like organised crime. We buy tickets, watch the cinema, and that’s the hero. But thank god things are movie, in the interval, we buy tickets for the next show, changing. Khosla ka Ghosla has no hero...” Speaking of finish the movie and rush. Meet at Punjab Sweet House at which, “Thank god for such talent! Jaideep Sahni and the gol chakkar and exchange tickets and rush to the next Dibakar Banerjee. I wanted to do Khurana, because it show. We were always running as soon as the picture ended. was such a fantastic role, and Boman has proved why... Matlab log sochte honge ki hamesha kaise inki train chhooth You know, I think Ranvir should get credit for what he jaati hai? Phir uske baad ek khoobsoorat pehloo aaya made of Bunty, because he put in his heart and a certain hamaari zindagi mein jab Sujata ke maalik ne ek mini Sujata honesty in the body which made Bunty Bunty.” Green- bhi khol diya.