*AGE 3 Indecent Proposal: OPINION AIDS and Common Red, IcGannon A Decent Flick White or Lecture Tackles PAGE 21 Sense Prevention PAGE 15 Rose? Ethics in SPEAK UP!! Fordliam

Non-Profit Org. ti^. Postage PAID- Bronx, NY 10458 Permit No. 7608 19S P.O. Box B Pordhant Unlv. 3 Bronx, NY 10458

FORDUMB UNIVERSITY Rose Hill Campus, Bronx, New York; Lincoln Center Campus, New York, New York eer, condoms allowed at New grading policy implemented Deli By Raymond Lombardo positive. "Now I can save all that STAFF WRITER wasted money spent at the bookstore. ByAIKohawl If I can grade myself, why buy books, STAFF WRITER Last year, the administration of read, or do any other distracting and iter years of controversy, the Fordham University created the time consuming projects?" dham Administration has granted Fordham in the Year 2000 Committee Fr. O'Hare, when asked whether |Student Deli permission to sell to study ways that the institution should the student body's general quality of rand prophylactics. The decision evolve to meet the changing demands education would decline, in light of 'p a complete turn-around from their of the 21st Century. The 2000 student reactions, said, "To combat «ice in the past, when they main- Committee's recommendations were sloth andindiffeTence among Fordham i that these items should be avail- received last week by President Joseph students, the new grading policy win at Loyola-Faber Hall, and no- O'Hare, S.J., and they contained espe- be accompanied by an aggressive new iere else on campus. cially good news for the student body. failure policy. Thenew failure level at fThe Administration admitted that Starting next semester, the students at Fordham University beginning next Sy have been "ignorant and Fordham College, as well as the Col- Sympathetic" to the needs and con- lege of Business Administration, will ns of the students and were now be required to fill out their own grades "With the new jlling to make up for their mistakes. at the end of the semester, a process grading policy, I I The decision was announced yes- which, according to Vice President of ay by Father Shea and Dean Gray Student Affairs John Shea, S.J., will, could concentrate |a meeting of deli employees. "I'm THIRSTY? HORNY?: These two Fordham students couldn't "allow the students to develop and on important skills :• of seeing all of the off-campus mature in full accordance with the wait to get their hands on the new items available at the Deli. Ires profit at the expense of our highest traditions of a liberal arts edu- like tunneling and indents," said Gray. "It's about time that we offer students these items at like this, but of course it will be for cation." still pull straight A's." reasonable costs and in a convenient their benefit too, " said Deli worker The 2000 Committee's recommen- The shelves are location." Virginia Hamm. dations were warmly received by Presi- -George Murray, FC already stocked with Shea agreed, saying, "Students have Gray agreed, saying, "Lately I've dent O'Hare, wh6 is expected to place his full support behind the new grading '93 ^condoms, which are been complaining to me about hiking been really busy so it'll be nice to run back to Martyr's Court, while carrying into the Deli and grab a quickie." This policy. According to O'Hare, "The semester, will be a 3.0 cumulative available in mint- two cases of beer. I can't stand to see reporter is assuming that Gray was new grading policy will not only allow average. This average will be cumula- flavored, colorful students suffer in this manner so the ~- referring to a can of beer. the school to improve our overall aca- tive from the outset of the new grading demic standing nationwide, but also policy." yrdham maroon and only logical solution is to have beer The shelves are already stocked available at the Deli." with condoms, which are available in help alleviate the recent shortage of Faculty reaction to the new grading vhite andglow-in-the- Deli employees were surprised by mint-flavored, colorful FordTfam ma- quality applicants. We feel we will be policy has also been generally posi- dark green. the news. "I never thought the Admin- roon and white and glow-in-the-dark met by a crush of applicants next se- tive. Lured by the likelihood of more istration would change their minds SEE DEU/PAGE 6 mester. In this manner, we can kill two money and less work, professors of birds with one stone." Fordham University leaped onto the Students interviewed by The Ram self-grading policy bandwagon. Ac- were also quite enthusiastic about the cording to Dr. Christopher Hoke, Pro- !areer Planning offers hope new policy, although the upperclass- fessor of Economics, "I am in favor of men were not entirely enthusiastic. the new grading policy because it will According to George Murray, FC '93, alleviate our crushing holiday "I wish I could come back and re-do workload. It will also give students for graduating seniors my education. With the new grading opportunity to experience one of the policy, I could concentrate on impor- most difficult aspects of teaching, the attempt to reduce that percentage for Placement Office's programs], and By Hope Les Riter tant skills like funneling and still pull grading part. Not only will we allevi- this year's graduating class. we have examined the results of the STAFF WRITER straight A's. Hey, I could still come ate our work crush, but give students Dean Gregory Pappass, Dean of survey. We feel we have put together back for grad school." Freshman like hands-on experience, something valu- The Office of Career Planning and Career Planning and Placement, com- a program that will ensure an entry Jlacement announced yesterday its level position for a large percent of Christine Jones, FC '96, were entirely able in the current job economy." [newest proposal for placing graduat- our seniors. We feel that this is away ng seniors in suitable employment "We feel that this is that we can truly help them as they situations. CP&P, in conjunction with leave Fordham and enter the work INSIDE The Ram: Harriott's employment office and a way that we can force." brdham University's Security Office, truly help them as The program promises to offer nveiled its "Graduates for a Safe and graduating seniors with the experi-. welcomes Mr. Rogerstote U«e Vell-Fed Fordham" plan, which is a they leave ence and skills that outside employers neighborhood i designed to place up to twenty- look for. The interviewing process, - : percent of the current graduating Fordham and enter • SPQHTSE fordrtam p <*««ft Patriot the on-the-job-training, the interper- League, lain Big East ilass in positions throughout the three the work force." sonal skills, and the professionalism npuses. that will be required will be identical # NEWS: TQPgetsstrfppsf for The program was designed in re- -Dean Gregory to that expected by outside employers, ; to the results of a recent survey Pappass Pappass said. onducted by CP&P that indicated Pappass expanded on the types of CULTURE: The r«# story feefeteif StotypagQiT fthat over sixty-two percent of last jobs that will be available to the gradu- [year's graduating class is currently mented,"'We have listened to the com- pinemployed. This new program is an plaints of the students [in regard to the SEE JOBS/PAGE 5 Calenda Campus Activities Beard - Campus Activities • < «ii «l • Campus Activities

Cine\ents--Malcolm X -- Keating 1st- 7 & 10:30 p.m. Debate Society—Oxford Debate-Bailroom-8 p.m.

Concert Committee-Spin Doctors—Lombardi Field House--8 p.m. Modern Ancients Club-Richard Garner—Mulcahy 108—2 p.m.

CSA-Trip To Circus Rodrigues—The Drovers-Doors at 9:45 p.m. Best Buddies-^Fordham Kid's Day II--Martyrs' Lawn-12 p.m.-4 p.m. ••/-•' El Grito De Lares-2nd Annual Semi-Formal Fundraiser

Admissions Open House

Cinevents—Miami Blues—Keating 1st—10:30 p.m. Murphy's and Martyrs'

Colors: '93 Setiiprs Maroon '94 Juniors Green No Classes, Easter Break '95 SaphoaiQi^ Blue '96 Freshmen Orange

Prizes; Donatiou of $750 towards (fee winning class' Seni- Classes Resume Week and Trophy Cinevents-Uarora Munchausen-Keating lst-10:30 Sat,, April 17 1:00 p,nu: Opening Oei$tftQny/Pep Rally Softball-3 uaiings Dating Gsune Dizzy Lizzy American Age & Gannon Lecture Series—Mary Higgins Clark- Ballroom-2 p.m. S»n., April 18 1:00 pJ«.: KickbaD-5 iftnia Poetry Slam Pie Eating 'Contest Egg Toss Study Abroad-Semester At Sea: McGinley Info Table-11 a.m.- 2:30 Sat., April 24 1:00 pjra,.; Flag FootbaK-2 quarters each 15 Jeopardy p.m./Presentation McGinley 236 WaierBalloon Toss

Sttiu, April 25 IM p.«i,: T»g Lip Synch Clothes Relay Parade Around! ISf Closing Ceremony Indecent Proposal: Red, A Decent Flick AIDS and Common iMcGannon Sense Prevention White or PAGE 21 R o s'•(&•?• Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 Ethics in Fordbam SPEAKUP!! Gets Own

, 1993/: fcOVER-UP?!? Apathetic Students Society either," said Father Shea. "Can I get 'Administrators under back to you on this?" investigation "No matter what those dirty little gains club status By Hugh G. Cox students say, we're not changing our minds," said O'Hare. "Hey, wait a By Eric Shun The club will be open to students of blow them off!" said Fuchs. Other STAFF STUD minute, strike the word 'dirty' from STAFF WRITER all levels, with the only qualification plans for the future include a "skip an A photo delivered anonomously to that, comment" being that students be involved in ab- entire week of school marathon" in The Student Activities Committee The Ram has led to an investigation of A source close to The Ram re- solutely nothing else. According to April, a boycott of all sporting events granted the Apathetic Students Soci- Fordham administrators in the recent ported that Father O'Hare was seen the Office of Student Activities, stu- in the next month, and a "Bum your ety club status last week. The group, disappearance of the entire Students last week banging his shoes together dents fitting this description make up Student Handbook"party in two weeks. which has been in existence at Fordham for Choice organization. to get mud off the bottoms of them. 98.9% of the student body. "It's Members of the new club were for years, has gained strength in the The group, which was denied club The Ram was also told that several about time a club was formed that just unaffected by news of the decision. past year and decided to try for offi- status last week, mysteriously disap- members of the Students for Choice about any student at Fordham could One member of the group, who didn't cial club status. peared after threatening to "take some group were seen being escorted last take an interest in," said Dean of Stu- care to give his name, commented, "I serious action" against the Adminis- week by Father O'Hare into the back dent Social Life Jeff Gray. "Fordham really don't care about the news be- tration. of a red pick-up truck that had several "It's about time a needs clubs that will give students cause we're going to exist no matter The photo pictures administrators shovels in the bed. club was formed more time to drink, socialize and gal- what." as high up as Father O'Hare shoveling The matter has been turned over to livant around the Bronx." A.S.S. member Jack Kenoff said, dirt into a huge pit. What is even more Fordham Security for investigation that just about any Although they were just granted "Hey, either way, like, I don't care. I disturbing is the huge smiles seen on since they have nothing better to do. student at Fordham status, A.S.S. members already have really don't have time to talk about each person in the photo. "In view of the extenuating cir- events irynind that they plan on skip- now anyway. I've got some sleep to A note attached to the photo read: cumstances and the difficulties of un- could take an ping. "There's a lot of boring lectures catch up on." "Although I did not see exactly what covering all the relevant evidence, coming UP soon, and we can't wait to the administrators were burying, I did interest in." - Dean of Student Social Life Jeff Gray. Club status was granted to the group solely on the basis of the overwhelm- ing efforts the group has shown in the past few months. The club has made their presence, or rather the lack of it, known at various functions at Fordham including football and basketball games, lectures, club meetings, and performances. Student government members were thoroughly impressed with the dedication and consistency of the members of A.S.S. and could not say no to the request for club status. According to A.S.S. presidentLasee Fuchs, the group refused to write a photo by A. Pathetic club constitution because they "didn't The last meeting of A.S.S. had a successful turnout. feel like it." However, because the goal of the club is to "not participate in hear muffled cries of "It's her right' '." along with the disturbing nature of the or care about anything at Fordham" Comments from Administrators are misfortune, we are excited about the SAC felt that a constitution was not IT'S NOT TOO LATE \: equally as suspicious. Although they investigation and are awaiting all the needed. 1 have denied any connection with the details to see if there is actually some- Elections were held at this week's disappearances, the various explana- thing to investigate or if this is just a meeting of the club, however, since no tions of their appearances in the photo bunch of hog wash," said Chief of one showed up to the meeting, Fuchs were weak and very conflicting. Security, Don McAirhead. appointed himself president. "No one '"You see, there was this great big No one here at The Ram actually cares who's president anyway, and sandbox...." said O'Hare. understands McAirhead's comment, since I represent all of the ideals of the Another administrator tried to ex- but assume that he was overly excited club I think it's appropriate," said I plain that they were "digging for gold", about being quoted. Fuchs. as a solution to Fordham's financial problems. "Unfortunately, we didn't find any," she said. Yet another explanation came from Shea. "My socks smelt so bad-we DADE COUNTY PUBLIC SCHOOLS didn'tknowwhatelsetodo with them." MIAMI, FLORIDA

"The issue is dead— THE PLACE FOR PROFESSIONALS IN EDUCATION uh, I mean buried, If you are a qualified • Teacher TO THINK ABOUT no—wait, that's not • Exceptional Student Education Teacher what I mean • Math or Science Teacher SUMMER/ either." • School Psychologist • Occupational or Physical Therapist or -Father Shea Therapist Assistant 26 programs to choose from

When asked by The Ram why who wants to work in a dynamic, progressive community, your in Europe & Asia O'Hare suddenly had a golden shovel place in the sun may be with us! hanging on a wall in his office, he responded, "It was a gift." 1992-93 school year starting salaries range For information call Syracuse University Regarding the Students for Choice from $26,500 to $38,900 • Excellent Fringe Benefits issue, comments from the Administra- Division of International Programs Abroad tors were equally as disturbing. Contact: MS. JO CARTANO, DIRECTOR Summer Programs Office "The issue is dead—uh, I mean Instructional Staffing and Recruiting • Dade County Public Schools buried, no-wait, that' s not what I mean 1444 Biscayne Boulevard • Suite 150 • Miami, Florida 33132 119 Euclid Avenue (305) 995-7077 Syracuse, NY 13244-4170

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER (315)443-9420/21 '«;

iaV.vAttt-iri.JS •News.

it is going to be." snapped.." She went on to describe CRAZY LADY Conlon was taken to Jacoby Hos- the mental anguish and torture shi. FROM PAGE 6 pital for treatment after security de- suffers in a typical day in Studei I termined her to be an emotionally Activities. "No one understands tin. same way again. However, I am pray- disturbed person. She claims it was tremendous pressure I'm under day in ing for her recovery, and if it took this simply a case of temporary insanity, and day out. 'MJ-I need a favor' (i outburst to set her back on the right which she suffers from time to time. 'Write me a recommendation' or 'Can path, then I was glad to be of service." "I was so tired of being happy. I just you approve this sign for posting'; The administrator said, "I really can't wanted someone else to suffer my That's not even my job! Whine, whine, comment on the whole matter at this work and life for a short time. I'm whine, complain, complain, complain. time. My psychoanalyst says that I am very sorry; and I absolutely promise A woman can only take so much." suffering from the after-effects of a that it will'never , ever, ever happen Mary Jane should be back at work tragic and difficult situation. I'm hot again. P.lease forgive me. I just want next week. She reminds all students really sure how I feel about Ms. Conlon to be loved." that Student Activities will remain at this point in time, but I don't want to Mary Jane described her experi- open in her absence, and she will be see her back at work - ever. One of us ence in one statement: "I just back in charge and control soon. Wednesday, March 24 1 Mlpn uulonh has to go r- obviously, we all know who Dagger John's, McGinley Basement. upper eyelid. A student reports that an in- toxicated male leaving Dagger Saturday, March 26, 3:05 John's was carrying out a statue Keating Hall. from the bar. A waitress at- A security guard making his ro> tempted to stop him, but the male through the first floor of Keating said, '-"I. have the right to come ticed that the front of a vending mi into this bar. and I will leave with chine had been broken and one Nesi anything I want." Crunch and two Milky Ways had Security arrived and asked the removed. He also heard a noise male to stop. When he refused, a Keating first. He ran to look ai chase across campus ensued. The stumbled upon two students and a tri man disappeared into the English mendous pile of candy. department in Dealy Hall. The An investigation revealed that thj only person in the office was a two female students have been when itt Fordham professor. * mulating a stash of candy for the The student described the male year. All the past reports of broki as 6' 1", 235 lbs. with graying hair machines have been attributed to the; 2 hours'tf and 2 years and a mustache. He also stated self-confessed chocoholics. that the man could be the twin The uneaten candy was recovei your siit? brother of his Shakespeare and returned to the nvachines. Thj teacher. students have been referred to the Dear! The matter is still under inves- of Student Social Life. tigation by security. Posters of the English professor will be put Sunday, March 28,4:31 a.m., Fac- up around campus so that stu- ulty Memorial Hall. dents have a clear idea of the man Security was called to McGinley bji they are looking for. Anyone an unknown person to investigate I with pertinent information should large object slowly moving up the sidbi call security at 579-2222. of the building. The security officer! discovered that the '"object" was actu-j Thursday, March 25,2:00:23 ally a student attempting to scale a.m., Dealy Hall. building. A student leaving Dealy Hall Security called the fire department,' called security and asked for a and the student willingly climbed down j Ram Watch escort back to his the ladder. room in Hughes Hall. The stu- An investigation revealed that thej dent was informed that the Ram student had been living on the roof of; Watch had been off duty for 23 Faculty where he had all his classes seconds and would be unable to He lived across campus in Martyr's; help him. The student began to and was tired of taking the long walk hyperventilate and said he would day after day. be forced to do something drastic The student's rooftop apartment was if he could not have his^eseort. At disassembled, and the matter has been this, the frightened security guard referred to the Dean of Student Social hung up the phone and called the Life. 48th precinct. Meanwhile, the terrified stu- Tuesday, March 30, 12:33 a.m., dent cautiously peeked out the Marriott Office, McGinley Center | door of Dealy. He saw a Ram Basement. Watch member walking back to A security officer on duty in the' his dorm. The student became McGinley Center hearda noise com-'] enraged and began to beat the ing from the Marriott Office in the Ram Watch member. Ramskeller. > An officer arrived on the scene Upon investigation, the guard dis- V754 and separated the two males. The covered that twenty-five students officer determined that the stu- claiming to be USG representatives; dent was emotionally disturbed, had snuck in a window and were at- and he was taken to Jacoby Hos- tempting to switch the recipe books for pital as he screamed. "I'm sorry. all Mariott food in the cafeteria. The I just love Ram Watch and security guard, told the students to couldn't stand the rejection." leave, at which time they became With Visa® you're accepted at more than 10 million places enraged and yelled at the guard for his around the world, nearly three times more than American Express. Friday, March 26,1:13 p.m., lack of concern for student needs. Just in case you ever come up a little short. Fordham Road and Arthur Av- The 48th precinct was called in to enue. arrest the students for their lack of Visa. Ifs Everywhere You Want To Be: A faculty member returning cooperation. After hearing the stu- homefrom Dagger John's tripped dents' side, the officers commended and fell on her face. The faculty them and allowed the switching of the member sustained no serious in- books!

- ia Visa USA Inc. 1993- Indecent Proposal: OPINION Red, "AGE 3 AIDS and Common iMcGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Rose? Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 Ethics in Fordham SPEAKUP!! I Gets Own

JOBS FROM PAGE 1

ates. "We feel that Fordham will benefit from the talents, loyalty, and enthusiasm that recent graduates will bring to their jobs," he said. The jobs available in the Security department include Security Officers, with ample training provided. Security office staff, and Security vehiclefliaintenance and driving. The Marriott employment opportunities are a little more diverse, including bus boy/girl, cashier, server, Dnherl cleaning staff, clerical duties, Ramskellar coordinator, including the newest post as Game Room supervi- a.m., sor, Dagger John's workers, and gen- eral maintenance and cleanup crew. aunds j Pappass urged careful consideration ig no- i for which job each senior applies for. g m "There will be unusually intense Nlestle! I been I competition for certainpositions, such photo by Sue Youmarc ise in I as Game Room Supervisor and Dag- Two Fordham seniors beginning the difficult training c andi ger John's positions, naturally, as they process for the prestigious Game Room Supervisor position. atre-1 are the more difficult and challenging T^i-WoV^Wfe^fe'Mth^efei;:.^^;. jobs. However, we feel that we are credibly supportive staff andstudents," Both the Security Office officials i offering enough positions so as to place and the Marriott officials assure the these ' said John Paul Murray, FC '93. everyone according to their abilities," graduates that they will receive a com- accu- "It's a nice feeling to know that we ; Pappass stated. petitive salary and all the usual ben- ;past; will not be left out in the cold after The application process for "Gradu- graduation. I hope that this first job efits. Fordham will attempt to provide roken ::: an enjoyable work environment as these , p of fte TV xamtt-. ^e off. Wiii jca just cliiil? . • i:.-. ates for a Safe and Weil-Fed Fordham" can be a springboard into a brighter h,Tespecialfy likedUwChBilte T&B; Biit .1 * • "'• begins as easily as filling out a simple and bigger career. I think working well. One word^of warning though - job security is limited, as each new vered •'.'.•'• . O'Hare- informational card, available at the with Marriott will give me an impres- thc one with main cafeteria's Information Desk. A sive reference on my resume, and may graduating class will bring new work- The ers. So stop by the Information Desk Dean follow-up phone call, resume submis- even be the beginning of a career in sion, and cover letter is urged, to help that international corporation," said and take the first step in what may be maintain the professionalism of the Judy Patrick, CBA '93. the opportunity of a lifetime. Fac- process, suggests Pappass. Student reaction has been mixed eyby regarding the plan, but most are will- ate a ing to give it a chance. i side "I hope that these new employees fficer will remember what it was like to have A World of actu- to eat in Marriott. Perhaps it will work le the out for the best for all of us - we'll have new, smiling faces to serve us food, Opportunities nent, and they '11 be able to use their $80,000 iown education," com mented a current CB A sophomore. it the Senior response has been enthusi- >of of astic. "I am glad to know that the isses. Fordham administration finally rec- rtyr's ognizes the responsibility the^have to Celebrating 20 years of service in Stamford (1973-1993). walk their students after the diploma's are handed out. It will be nice to work on • MBA-Evening or Weekend. it was campus, stay close to Clarke's, and be been able to continue working with the in- ,• Education -M.S., Sixth Year, ModMap and ocial Teacher Certification. • Cownseitog - M.S. (Evening or Weekend). a.m., Applications now being accepted! • iDBALUadfergraduate Accelerated ;nter Congratulations Graduates Degree Completion Program. front ...Your Tuxedo Source n the • Tuition-Free Teacher Internship Program. com- STUDY IN n the KING TUX • GMAT Test Preparation Course 'or your Senior Ball, Weddings, Offered Year Round. Idis- ROME All Occasions! ients GET A 10% DISCOUNT itives ON NON-SPECIAL SELECTIONS Call (203) 358-0700 For More Information or a re at- JULY2- On April 5th and May 10th, 1993, Schedule of our Free Information Session*- in the csfor AU0UST2,1993 representatives from King Tux will be Stamford and Westchester County Areas. The taking measurements in McGinley ts to came Center Main Lobby. Take this opportunity- ar his eWorld of Dante s. i Introduction to Roman Civilization Rent soon, Bring a Friend, Save !!! in to e Renaissance and Baroque Art :k of ian I For information, call UB—STAMFORD • stu- Italian II 212-364-6425 nded i Literature: World War II to Present 91 1 Hope Street • Bldg. #5 jfthe Choose from our Stamford, CT 06907 :S2100.00, Deposit S500.00. Graduates Fax:(203)967-3735 t come, first served. Special I Meeting: Monday, April 19, 5:30 PM. CLC Complete rental only , Room SL-34 $65.00 : Dr. Joseph Perricone: 212*36-6247, 212*36-6381 613 EAST 187th St. - Corner HUGHES & 187th St. - 2nd Floor 11.1993/THE RAM Ms. Nice-Lady turns T.O.P. goes topless out not so nice Mary Lambert. FC 94, "This is ex- ing to work." "Enough of actly the kind of diversity Fordham "One of the most important lesso By lam Nuttse Thestudents andadministrator, who needs." college teaches is to accept vario STAFF WRITER asked that their names be withheld for these dull Peter Buckman. CBA '93. agrees. aspects of societies, no matter how reasons of mental trauma, revealed "WE'RE GONNA HAVE A STRIP- different or foreign they may seem t The office of Student Activities 9 the dark side of Conlon's nature that PER!" some," explains Father O'Hare, who! suffered a great shock this week as the comedians/ led her to kidnap them Monday night. Ramskellar workers were as equally thoroughly supports the new acts "ll mystery surrounding the disappear- v After the F.U.E.L. meeting Mon- excited about the news. "At least now think it is important to present a wide I ance of two students and one adminis- day, which ended around 7:20 p.m., says club I won't be spending half my paycheck range of shows and I personally look] trator was revealed. Conlon went back to her room in on 42nd Street." said Sbarro worker, forward to experiencing this segment j Mary Jane Conlon, Director of Stu- Hughes Hall. She had already formu- By Seymour Skinne MikeHunt. According to AnnChovee, of pop-culture that I am as yet unfa-j dent Activities, has been accused of lated her plan to kidnap her victims. STAFF STRIPPER another Skellar employee, future acts miliar with." kidnapping, mental torture and cruel The next part of the account re- In an effort to attract more students may dress in Sbano attire, hat and all, Jahoven is certain that, if Doomey's j threats. mains unclear to those held captive. to their Ramskellar presentations, act is successful, more out-of-the-or-. All they recall is being hit over the "/ can no longer Fordham s The Other Place (TOP) "I'm glad TOPls dinary entertainers will be "showing f head with a folded up easel and being has procured a new type of entertain- their stuff in the Skellar." bear up under the dragged to SAC where their night- ment for Wednesday. April 7. embracing this Says TOP member Linus mare began. Mary Jane declined to According to TOP president Sal Vandersheen, "We've also been look- pressure of my comment on her actions. Jahoven. "We will be having Debbie up-and-coming ing into mud wrestlers and exorcists to [ perky exterior." Over the next day and a half. MJ Doomey, professional strip-tease art- perform for us, and we've been think- forced them to sniff the scented mark- ist, performing her own interpreta- art form. This is ing about installing a mechanical bull -Mary Jane Conlon, ers and make over 2.000 copies of tions of famous prose."' for fun before the show." F.U.E.L. reminders and footprints, let- exactly the kind Director of Student Doomey "s act. the first of its kind at For now, however, TOP is focusing ters toclub officers and MJs personal Fordham. was booked by TOPin place of diversity all its energy on promoting Doomey's Activities letters to friends. They also suffered of the usual comedians because, as appearance, circulating fliers, hand- the hardship of having to color and Jahoven explains, "We thought that Fordham needs." ing out Ramskellar discount coupons Conlon, known affectionately to type for six hours straight. maybe the comedians weren't appeal- and even calling people randomly and students as MJ, turned herself in on Conlon's threats included telling ing to all students and we want to offer -Mary Lambert, inviting them to the show. Wednesday, saying, "I can no longer the students that she had the power to something for everyone." "This strip-tease is .bound to be a bear up un'der the pressure of my perky change their grades from A-'s to B+"s. Last semester's turnouts were not FC'94 hit," says Vandersheen, who hints that exterior. I have to tell the truth and She told the administrator that when as large as TOP expected for the free Doomey will be dancing to such greats she held his position, she would open free my crazy inner self." entertainment, so after the club met to before baring their butts. as Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Dagger John's to all people — not just Conlon led security to the Student discuss future plans that would draw Despite fears that repercussions into that Good Night" and "Twinkle Fordham students, faculty and alumni. Activities Resource Room where she bigger audiences, acts such as from the administration would pre- Twinkle Little Star." The hostages are receiving coun- unlocked the copy machine to reveal Doomey's were added to the sched- vent Doomey and other new acts from "This show will have something for seling via Fordham Helpline, and feel the two students, gagged with the same ule. performing, TOP members believe that everyone," he adds, "even the skep- that they are on the road back to men- strips of cloth Conlon used as blind- Student reaction to news of the most of the faculty is just as enthusias- tics who think Debbie's dancing is tal health. One student said. "I was folds for a F.U.E.L. activity. additions has so far been overwhelm- tic as the students. merely sexual. There will be litera- shocked to see Mary Jane in this light. The administrator was found hid- ingly positive. "First Dagger John's and now this." ture for the intellectual; there will be I don't think I can ever look at her the den in a cloth sack underneath one of "I'm glad TOP is embracing this comments business professor Phillip music for the hip; and there will be a the computer tables. SEE CRAZY LADY/PAGE 4 up-and-coming art form." comments Barbay. "I'm beginning to love com- great performance for anyone who likes having fun." DELi FROM PAGE! green. Junior Soo-Long Wang was sifting BROAD through the choices of condoms yes- terday in the Deli. "I can't believe they didn'tgetextra-large,"Wangsaid. He was, however, impressed with the qual- ity of the condoms, which were "much better than the ones on Fordham Road." Deli workers are anxiously await- ing the.arrival of the beer shipments, which should come in time for the weekend. The refrigerators will be stocked with Budweiser, Coors and APPLICATIONS ARE STILL BEING Heinken. For those of us on a budget, the Deli will also sell Natural Light, ACCEPTED FOR... American and Gray's personal favor- Northwestern College of Chiropractic ite, Busch. AFRICA • AUSTRALIA • CZECH REPUBLIC • is accepting applications for its next three entering classes. According to Deli Manager Buzz ENGLAND • FRANCE • GERMANY • HUNGARY • (September 1993, January 1994, April 1994) Phast. the staff morale should defi- ISRAEL • ITALY • POLAND • SPAIN nitely improve because of the new General requirements at time of entry include: products. "We 're sick of doing ' whip- • Courses Taught in English and Host Country • Approx. 2-3 years of college in a life or health science degree program. its' with cans of whipped cream and we just sold the last bottle of Elmer's Language IA minimum GRA. of 2.5. •SU Credit glue yesterday," he said. "Beer will be • A personal interest in a career as a primary care physician. a welcome addition." • Field Trips/Traveling Seminars "We were selling condoms in • Internships Northwestern offers: Chicklets packets anyhow, but know • Study For A Semester, A Year, Or A Summer • A professional school of 500 students with student faculty ratio of 12:1. we, like, don't have to sneak around • Home Or Apartment Placements anymore!" said Deli Manager Troy • A well rounded education in Basic and Clinical Sciences, Diagnosis, Jan. FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE X-ray, and Chiropractic. "All I know is that this will make my Friday night shift a lot more excit- • Full accreditation by North Central Association of Colleges and Schools ing," said Hamm. Syracuse University and the Council on Chiropractic Education. Division of International Programs Abroad With environmental concerns in mind. Jan added. "We just hope that 119 Euclid Avenue call- 1-800-888-4777 or students recycle—the beer cans, that Syracuse, NY 13244-4170 Write: Director of Admissions is." 1-800-235-3472 2501 West Eighty-Fourth Street • Minneapolis, MN 55431-1599 • * * • ' »AGE3 Indecent Proposal: OPINION Red, A Decent Flick AIDS and Common iMcGannon Sense Prevention White or Lecture Tackles PAGE 21 R o s e ? . PAGE 15 Fordham Ethics in SPEAK UP!! «*t<{ Own

The Ram April 1,1993

Mr. Rogers to be A Fordham Focus By Sue Youmans and Kristen M Petiti What's %four theory about who called in the added to psychology bomb threat to McGinley Center? department staff A poll of truly concerned Fordham enthusiasts.

DamLetterat&rt ""Not to mention aa? names, feirt "Bomb scai-«t Notnuf certain high-powered corporations, me.] such as^e one currently eroplejing ing 3 me,$ometimesre$orttotii«$etactic$ kUlme. Step feeingsuc h babtes," It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, and soon-to-be to get what they want" I Fordham professor Mr. Rogers wants to be your neighbor! What would you say ii your favorite ally incorporates his show in tne ciass television idol was joining Fordham's room. When dealing with a moral staff? Well, next semester, you are in dilemma on an episode, he travels on a luck. That's right, boys and girls! Mr. toy trolley to the Land of Make-Be- Fred Rogers will become part of lieve and deals with the topic in this Fordham's psychology department in imaginary place. Rogers will even the fall of 1993. have a model of a trolley in his class- room, lulling students into a state of A Teacher Feature semi-hypnosis. This may seem like a By Down Yanek trip down memory lane, and that is just STA& WSITER what it is meant to be. According to NewsSay's Parade "I like his toy [trolley]," cited Dou- Magazine, Rogers became involved in glas Cuff, FC '96, as one of the many communications because he felt he reasons to take the class. He chuckled couldreachmany young people through and then added, "If he's as good at Hillary Clinton "Hey> don'tJsofcatiseJ commanding the [trolley] on T.V. as "Sorry it wasn't me. Danke it. "I believe that it was a cheap plot want to laeatio he'is in real life, then he'll have no "We welcome Mr, Rogers into the by the Republican party to under- problems riding the D- Train into work Fordham community with open arms," miiiemy husband's credibility." every day." stated Father O'. Hare. "We're just keeping up with the Jesuit tradition of In response to question about his excellence." innovative methods of teaching, Rogers Club Spotlight: Students for In every show, Rogers intertwines commented, "College students are go- ing through one of the most difficult the plot with moral issues. To relax times in their lives right now, and they his audience, he takes off his shoes may be reacting to situations that oc- "Eventually we 'd also like to spon- when he enters his house and puts on Father Sheahow many students were charter mem- curred wheathey were younger. That's By Christina Rosetti sor a lecture on views-stifling to be his sneakers. Then, he puts bn his vest bers of the Students for Father Shea why it's imperative for them to remem- STAFF WRITER given by our inspiration, Fr. Shea him- and happily exclaims, "Hi, neighbors." Club. Their numbers turned out tob e ber the time that they spent watching great. Ironically, most of the founding self." He will continue with this method in In the wake of the recent contro- my show, good events in their child- members of the group are also mem- When asked why these students the classroom by having students versy over the denied club status of the hoods, and their lost morality." bers of the Students for Life Club. found Shea an inspiration, club mem- change their attire once they enter his proposed Students for Choice club, ber Robert Brownnose, CB A 94, said, class. This has evoked a positive Rogers' new teaching career will TheRam has received word of another According to the club president, "The man embodies the true spirit of response by the student body as a not interfere with his television pro- group that has recently applied for Trudy Suckup, FC 95, "The club's main goals include raising the aware- Fordham's Catholic tradition, which whole. gramming. He will be teaching on club status, and has been successfully ness of the students so that they may be is basically to impose the hierarchal "I'm very excited about this, and I Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, added to Fordham University's long and filming on the remaining days of more aware of their duty to uphold the views of the Church on anyone and i feel that he will be an asset to the and varied list of on-campus activities the week. Students will also be re- Catholic Tradition of the Fordham everyone possible. The man should be Y department," saidBeth Rawson, CB A - the Students for Father Shea Club. quired to watch the show and experi- community." considered for canonization!" '96. "His knowledge of the human When asked why he chose to sup- ment with the children in the audi- The members of the Students for e mind boggles me, and besides, no one port this new group, Father Shea said, The Students for Father Shea Club ence. Father Shea Club wish everyone to t- looks as good as he does in sweaters "I feel that this is an issue that is of also intends to provide many services for the Fordham community. know that they are accepting applica- and sneakers." Won't you be our neighbor, Mr. utmost importance in today's society. tions for membership. Students inter- n The classes that he will teach next Rogers? Theansweris "yes!" We, as It seems necessary to form a club to "We'd like to have a 'We Love Shea' Day here on campus, during ested in joining should express a de- at semester include Childhood Regres- students at Fordham, are privileged to have a discussion of my role in the which we will pass out literature de- sire to use their closed-mindedness to at sions and The Allegory of the Toy have the opportunity to study with one university. In fact, the university as a of the greatest mentors of child psy- tailing how much our Vice President the greatest extent possible. Trolley. The latter will probably be whole finds it very desirable." chology , and we are counting down the of Student Affairs means to us." the most interesting because it actu- The editors at The Ram wondered moments to his arrival. g$:/r,V"'PW«".

'.":•' '^.'•'•l''i-':-{"iP'"'''i' " •

8/ Thursday April 1,1993 / THE RAM Featurei "It's the End of the World Uncle Dearest: The trials of beins as We Know It..." Madame Christina gives Fordham related to a University President By Alicia and Megan Seven Signs of Armageddon O'Hare AS TOLD TO KRJSTEN M. PETTIT By Madme. Christina them a break for once!" Daviddvich On the entertainment front, there "Just about everyone we know be- will be much to look for. For example, STAFF WRITER lieves that being the niecesjof the good, wholesome milk, will take the president of this university is just a Everyone take cover! Madame place of Budwiser as Fordham's bev- piece of cake. Christina's crystal ball has shattered erage of choice. Students will have • "Well, we just want the Fordham and the end of the world is quickly rallies outside The Bridge chanting. community to know that our lives are coming upon us. Now, I 'm going to let "No more barley, no more hops!" not always easy. So before you go the Fordham students know how they'11 Places like Clarke's and The Lan- wishing that you have the connections be able to tell when it is here. Yield tern will close completely on week- we do, stop and think. The worst thing the Seven Signs of Fordham Life and days. As a reason, the owner of The about wishing is that you might get beware as each one starts to occur! Lantern will cite the "need for stu- what you wished for." First, security guards will begin dents to excel in college. In order to do Such were the sentiments of Alicia asking each of us for our I.D. cards. that they will have to do a lot of study- and Megan O'Hare when asked about Not only will everyone be accountable ing and get plenty of rest." their relationship with their uncle, and for their own I.D. but the guards will Students will agree .with the new campuscelebrity. Rev. JosephO'Hare. actually look at them to see if you hours saying. "Weekends are more S.J. • really are who you claim to be. ••:.-'•,/ than sufficient for partying." "Campus celebrity? Try campus Next.residentialandcommuter stu- Pugsley's will no longer sell pizza. non-entity!" said Alicia. "Whenever dents alike will flock toMarriott. crav- Sal will turn the place into a veritable we try to grub food or money off him. ing the "new and improved" food that temple for yoga enthusiasts. his secretary tells us he's 'not avail- will be described as "so succulent, it In the final warning, teachers will able'. To think! He's not available! Rev. Joseph A. O'Hare, S.J., the despotic uncle in questii melts in yOUT mouth! no longer grade students by their per- Like he actually has work to do." utterly shameful." professors that I don't like. I mea| In league with this phenomenon formance in class. Tests and papers Megan added. "Arena registration will be the increased interaction be- will be completely optional. The main The O'Hare sisters (whose record what am I here for anyway? 11 was a real pain in the butt for me. comes out in the fall) also griped about have gone to any school tn be trea tween the commuters and the res-life standard of grading will be based upon You'd think that if he really loved me people. Astounding as this may seem, how nice of a person you are. the inconvenience of classes. Megan this way." that he'd spare me the trivial events exclaimed, "One o'clock classes are a In conclusion I spoke to Alicia an| it will happen, Madame Christina guar- Instead of an attendance policy, most normal freshmen are forced to real problem forme. Just think, I don't Megan abouttheir uncle's lack of p antees it. points will be added and deducted endure." even know what's going on between larity with The Ram and the paper, j Also, all students will all be invited from your grade based upon how well Megan and Alicia both agreed that Austin and Carrie on 'Days of Our response they said, "I totally symp to keep their cars on campus without students are dressed for class. Gone their uncle could have made their lives N Lives'! This hasn't happened since thize with Tim and Ted. My uncle| financial aid penalty. will be the days of sweatpants, here at Fordham a lot easier from the the third grade! What's going on simply the King of Censorship th Near the time of the apocalypse. sweatshirts, and baseball caps in class. ^ery beginning. here?" everyone imagines he is. As it is we'| Madame Christina sees tuition costs Even the men will get up at least one Said Alicia. "This whole applica- In addition, Megan stated, "My probably be disowned just for fina taking a nose-dive. Administration hour early in order to look good for tion process thing. What's up with will hold special, secretive meetings teachers actually expect me to do some giving the truth to the world." English Comp. that? I mean, why waste my time? from which the main sentiment ex- type of work for my classes, and when •I think we all can sympathize i Heed the warning. Fordham stu- Like, yeah, they were going to reject pressed will be, "Hey, don't you think I don't they don't even take into con- the plight of these two mistreated sis| dents, and get to Clarke's this Thurs- EOS." we've charged these students enough sideration the fact that my uncle is ters. Pray for them in the time I day, before its loo late. "Then, even after I was in, he still already? Why be greedy? Let's give their boss." have left here at Fordham. made my sister go through it too. It's Alicia said, "He won't even fire the Disgruntled Fordham Debater's Struggle Picked up by NBC for Movie of the Week gone wrong. By Tim Wood NBC feels cheated-that "there wasn't Chris O'Donnell, recently in Seen, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF enough there to make five minutes of a Woman, plays Chris Carlan, the! worth", according to one inside source* Society president trying tokeep Hoegunl While reading last week's article When asked his opinion. Ebersol from publicizing the case and reveal-1 on the USG Court and the Crooks \: agreed. • ., . -V ing his secret affair with Crooks .while j Fordham Debate Society case, you "This is pretty much crap." he said. Fred Savage plays Jon MacBride, the'. may have thought to yourself, "Wow, "Quite honestly, we could have got USG president who helps Hoegun to;, this is the stuff that TV movies are more of a movie out of your Students realize his obsession with Crook and? made of!". If you did, you are truly for Choice issue, but hey, we're com- seek mental treatment. pathetic, but evidently, NBC saw po- mitted and we're gonna make this tential in the case and has decided to work. But, we've made a few neces: Production has recently started, but makeitiritoaMovieoftheWeek. Yet. sary changes from the original script." already controversy has broken out on . according to network executives, the The movie is tentatively called7o_v the set. The problem revolves around a case will be reworked a little (a lot) to Ride and will be aired this fall. steamy bed scene between Hoegun actually make for an exciting court- Lisa Bonet, formerly of TheCosby and Crook. room drama. Show, will play the role of Donna According to NBC Entertainment Crook, the evil head of the Debate Director Dick Protecson wanted to head Dick Ebersol, the contract was Society who takes the club van for a show the two having safe sex, includ- signed after a meeting with Fordham joy ride filled with sex and drugs and ing the use of condoms, but President student Arthur Hogan. tries to cover her tracks, while Joseph A. O'Hare, S.J. would not al- "After Artie gave his pitch to us, we Raymond Burr will play the role of low the footage to be used. were immediately sold. As he told us, Artie "The One Man Party" Hoegun, the case had it all-sex, lies. We just the chief investigator who will stop at "Safe sex is obviously not a priority signed a contract on the spot. Boy, nothing to prove Crook guilt, includ- at Fordham," Protecson said. don't we feel stupid," Ebersol said. ing seducing Crook into telling him Fordham anxiously awaits the re- "He told us, 'I opened one door, and the truth. lease of this movie, but the actors involved do not share quite the same there were three more.' But. how many But, Hoegun gets in way over his enthusiasm. doors can there be?" head and what he finds is a twisted tale Fordham student Deanna Crooks to be portrayed by Lisa "This role kinda blows, but I need After actually hearing the full case. of sex, lies, and the Catholic tradition Bonet in NBC's Movie of the Week. the money," said Bonet. PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal: Red A Decent Flick AIDS and Common McGannon Sense Prevention White or Lecture Tackles PAGE 21 PAGE 15 Rose-;? Ethics in Fordham SPEAK UP!! Gets Own

THE RAM / Thursday. April 1 Features Hell Hath No Fury Like an Editor Scorned: Loves and Losses of the paper's Ted Smith

By Kristen M. Petfit was the most wonderful feeling I had tag a "happily ever after" onto the FEATURES EDITOR ever had. At the time, I thought that end of this tale, consider the plot twist the best part was the fact that he was that subsequently took place in the Sitting comfortably at the desk of just too shy to tell me in person, and soap-opera life of Ted Smith. his office at the paper, Editor-in- that was why he slipped the note Ted's heart soars no more in antici- Chief Ted Smith related to The Ram under the door." pation of his dream ceremony on Spring his tragic story. He casually smoked Apparently, Ted's enthusiasm truly Weekend in the University Church. a cigarette while reminiscing about knew no bounds. He immediately "Just this past week," Ted said, "I the events of what he described as published the proposal on the back received the shock of my life." "the very trying past few months of page of the paper. Said Ted, "It was It would seem that although Tim my life." my own little, insignificant, minute, Wood does harbor a deep affection for Just what is the tale of Ted Smith? minuscule way of telling the world Ted, he is just not ready for a lifelong It is one of heartbreak, sorrow, and about the joy I was experiencing." commitment. one who loved not wisely, but too Along with the reprint of the pro- Said Tim, "Ted is a sweet guy and well. posal, Ted included a campus-wide all, but I think for now that I'd just like "It began like a dream," mused invitation to the ceremony, along with for us to remain friends. I'm actually Ted. "I was having a meeting with an impetuous defense of the staff of kind of involved with someone else, my staff to discuss the business of the The Ram which stated vehemently, my lovely girlfriend, Debbie Treubert. week when it happened. Suddenly, "Who said there was homophobia at The proposal was a joke meant to be in the middle of the meeting, a small The RamT enjoyed by the two of us. I never piece of paper slid under my door. I When asked why this sudden thought he'd take it to this extreme." picked it up and read with amaze- changeof tune, after ripping apart The In response to the excuses of Wood, ment. Timothy P. Wood, the man I Yarn's staff in an earlier editorial, Ted Ted said, "I'm not at all bitter. I am had known and admired for so long, stated, "I felt that it was necessary for hurt, but I'm learning to recover one had finally popped the question!" me to stand by Tim and show him my step at a time. Responding to a query about his utmost support, not only as a peer and "With my friends around me to emotions at the time he received the someone I would consider as a friend, support me, and a decent amount of proposal, Ted said, "I immediately but especially now in this time of what counselling, I think I can get through showed the computer printed, care- I thought was a new intimacy between •.3". this. Besides, I can truly take solace in fully crafted proposal to my staff. us." the fact that the old cliche holds true. Everyone laughed, but each one of The man with the'broken heart- Was Ted Smith led astray I'm sure that readers wonder why "Ik. better to have loved and lost than them knew just ho w much this meant- this story is a tragic one, but before we by Tim Wood's attempt at a little friendly humor? to never have loved at all!" tome. My heart was racing inside. It +%t f\tot»y\ By (in un-alphabetical order): Timmy Jones and Jose Benitez &-£">* •. •-•• *. -.

10 /Thursday, April \, 1993 / THE RAM OPINION SECTION Beer, Sex, and the Administration

Once again the administra- tion has proven that it has no sense of the wants and needs of ordham students. This week's decision to allow the sale of alco- hol and prophylactics in the Stu- dent Deli is an insult to anyone associated with this institution. The effects of this decision will only do great harm to the lifestyle the student body has grown to love so much. The reasons why this decision is a poor one are far too numerous Fordham Faculty's Enthusiasm to confine to this space, but several are significant enough to warrant mention. First of all, members of the Belmont community will be innocent casualties of this heinous decision. Hard-working, Overflows The word "apathy" has appeared interested in Fordham as a whole. The local business persons will be forced to shut their doors due to the that in his career here at Fordham. numerous times in the opinion pages he may never get the chance to be great number of faculty members who go economic devastation caused by Fordham students' purchasing of The Ram, The word is usually an advisor. He is presently num- to athletic events, attend student produc- , their necessary items on campus. Honest establishments, such as attributed to students, and a solution ber 75 on The Rain's Advisor wait- tions, support student activities, become The Bridge and Clarke's, will be especially hard hit. is rarely offered. Where do students ing list. Those who volunteer to involved in Campus Ministries and com- In addition to the suffering of the Bronx community, the student take the cue of apathy from? Fam- munity service, is astonishing. The fac- body will be hurt as well. The University does not offer the facilities ily, friends, the administrators, fac- ulty fully support the athletic, academic ulty? Who teaches and encourages Any event with a and social endeavors of Fordham Univei- necessary to host large gatherings of students. Overcrowding of this apathy in the Fordham student faculty speaker is sity. . small areas, such as suite common-rooms and dorm rooms, will body? -..- always flooded Another key indicator of Fordham s result in violation of Tire codes and in the rapid deterioration of faculty dedication is the support they show room, conditions. Commentary By withother faculty - for each other. Any event with a faculty Forcing socialization into the residence halls will add an addi- be it out of interest speaker is always flooded with other fac- tional, unnecessary burden on the already overworked and under- I. Asf* Involved ulty - be it out of interest for the topic, or compensated RAs. The residence halls will no longer foster the for the topic, or simply moral support. environment of community and intellectualism which they have A thorough examination of the simply moral Fordham faculty are always trying to striven to hard to achieve. In short, they will become iniquitous dens faculty reveals that they are not the support. improve student life. The constant intro- of perpetually intoxicated sex maniacs. source of this hateful plague. duction of cross-club involvement, with Fordham faculty are the highlight two or more clubs co-sponsoring an event, Besides, who wants the convenience of on campus alcohol and and pride of Fordham. and serve as serve - or in some situations, are truly indicates the faculty's willingness to birth control, anyway? The fact is, Fordham students are en- examples for involvement at hired to serve - as advisors, are cooperate and be involved. chanted by the quaint community outside our gates. We urge the, Fordham. truly dedicated, highly motivated, Apathy is a plague that eats away at administration to re-evaluate their new policy, and create a new one Each student club is guided by a and heavily involved. They take Fordham every day. Unfortunately, the in keeping with the high moral values that all Fordham students faculty advisor. In fact, for many pride in attaching their name to student body is ignoring the great ex- embody. clubs there is even a waiting list for the club they advise, and make an ample set by the faculty. Perhaps it is time the position of advisor. A new pro- effort to promote their club on the students follow the lead of those who And to the Fordham students, we encourage our outraged campus. readers to check the date, sit back, and have a laugh. April Fools. fessor at Fordham discussed his dis- take the role of educator, and truly get couragement with us; he is worried. Moreover, the faculty are truly involved in Fordham. That Not It Ain't Easy Being Green, So Fresh Or Yellow, Or Brown ...

Feeling There is a prejudice that pre- screaming "I am a nose-picker, and How many times have you walked vails, not only on here on the proud!" Well, go on boy, you've got the to class with that "not-so-fresh feel- Fordham campus, but all around right idea. Don't give into those people ing"? Well. I can tell you that this the world. It is a disgrace that in who judge you. just keep on picking. doesn't just affect me, but has be- this day and age. people are still This sight continued to move me as I come a- concern for a majority of being persecuted for the inno- watched. He pulled his finger out, and I students. I have recently suggested cent, justifiable actions that they could see his eyes beginning to fill with tHat RHA consider petitioning USG engage in. Yes. their actions are tears. This must have been his best justifiable. boogie. He was so proud, he just beamed. JULIE De BRIAN GARRITY for the funds to install bidets in all on- campus Res-Life housing. And he was not selfish. As people Gal Fri General Blunt walked by oh their way to dinner, he stopped them to share in this joyous mo-, CATHERINE SABATOS ment, and to enjoy his boogie as much as Thespian Extraordinaire he did. It begins as an annoying pres- IFER PERILLO ERIN MELODY ence, but often turns into a severe He pulled his finger out, and I Why just on-campus? Well, off- throbbing pain. It comes in a could see his eyes beginning campus students really aren't as con- variety of colors: green, yellow to fill with tears. This must have KRISTEN M. I'ETTIT cerned with hygiene as on-campus and brown; it has various shapes Squirrel Mistress Dielator/ Chief Harasser been his best boogie. students. That's why they live in the and textures: gooey, hard, runny, icky Bronx. But anyway, my sugges- dry... What, you still don't know DANIEL F. CAHALANE III CHARLIE BAISLEY So, Fordham nose-pickers, don't be tion has been virtually ignored. what I'm talking about? I'll give Tom Selleek Body Double The Wednesday Ni»ht Quickie afraid. We know you exist, it doesn't After I saw the bidet installed; in you a hint--boogies. matter if you are an amateur Or an expert. Fr. Shea's Spellman Hall room. I de- KRISTI DANIELS TARA O'BRIEN That's right—we are addressing Let your talents and skills be known: Blond An>-.h;or, The Mother Or Us All cided that the Jesuit fathers shouldn't the prevalent bias against nose Take pride in your work. Share your hog these ingenious devices to them- pickers. I was prompted to write masterpieces. By banding together, and selves. Shea's smile is a big neon sign SUE YOUMANS this commentary after witnessing taking pride in your snots, you will be to all Fordham students that says "I'm; Darkroom Delight a heart-warming act of courage accepted. fresh - are you???" by a nonconformist. As I walked A personal aside: Tim, all of us-of The Students, let's rally together to get. up the stairs of McGinley Center, BOB STANK I'KOF. JACK SMEE Ram support you: We admire your cour- fresh. I'm sick of walking to class I saw a young man sitting at the Hard Dri\e Man The Invisible Man age in liberating the Fordham nose-pick- with that unpleasant smell. table outside the cafeteria. He ers. Do not gelHisCOuraged, people will : STAND UP FOR HYGIENE! had his finger jammed uphis nose, soon seethe light of your way, and accept digging enthusiatically and you, boogiesand all. Indecent Proposal: opinion »AGE3 AIDS and Common wm Red, iMcGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 R o s e? Ethics in SPEAK UP!! I Fordham

NoD-Proflt Org. VS. Postage PAID Bronx, NV10451 Ptrmi! No. 7*08 P.O. Box B Fordham Univ. attt Bronx, NY 10458

FORDHAM UNIVERSITY Rose Hill Campus, Bronx, New York; Lincoln Center Campus, New York, New York Volume 75, Number 8 Serving Campus and Community Since 1918 Thursday, April 1,1993

/hole. The McGinley Center Graduate school >ers who go ent produc- es, become ;s and com- threatened with bomb professor dies at g. The fac- ;, academic By Luke Sweeney The people evacuated were com- sary [to evacuate] based on an objec- lam Univer- ' STAFF WRITER prised mainly of Fordham students tive evaluation of the facts, in order to Approximately 1,100 people were eating at the McGinley Center, and protect life and property." Fordham's C.Y.O cheerleaders, who were hav- Students eating in the cafeteria re- age 56 evacuated from the McGinley Center >rt they show and Gymnasium on Saturday, March ing a competition in the gym. Accord- ported that someone went to each table Dr. Thomas A. Mulkeen, Professor During the 1970's, Dr. Mulkeen was ith a faculty 27, 1993 as a result of a bomb threat, ing to Carroll, the evacuation was and calmly requested that they evacu- of Educational Administration of the Professor and Chair of the Education th other fac- The telephone call came in at 11:00 "very smooth" and "people were co- ate. One sophomore said," I just Graduate School of Education of Department of North Adams State the topic, or a.m. to a student on duty at the security operative." No injuries were reported. walked away" and went to her dorm. Fordham University. died on Monday, College in North Adams, Massachu- office. The male, who is possibly a According to Carroll, the severity Andrew Wester, FC '96, was one of March 29, 1993. Dr. Mulkeen had setts. He was a post doctoral Fellow at lys trying to middle-aged man, is believed to have of the threat called for an evacuation. those asked to evacuate. "It was a been associated with Fordham since Harvard University in Educational •nstant intro- a Middle East accent. The caller said "Though hindsight showed there was little scary thinking it's here on cam- 1969, a full-time member of the fac- Administration andatHarvard'sInsti- 'ement. with that a bomb had been planted in the no bomb," said Carroll, "it was neces- SEE THREAT/PAGE 12 ulty since 1980, and twice Chairman tute for the Management of Lifelong ing an event, Gym, and it would explode of the Division of Administration, Learning in 1978-79. willingness to at 11:30 a.m. Tour Super- Policy, and Urban Education (1986-89 Dr. Mulkeen was an active member visor, Carl Greenberg, and 1991until his death). A nationally of the University Council of Educa- eats away at called John Carroll, the Di- recognized scholar. Dr. Mulkeen pub- tional Administrators, the American tunately, the rector of Security at lished more than 100 articles and pa- Educational Research Association, and pers, several books, and more than a he great ex- Fordham. After evaluating the Danforth Project for the Improve- dozen chapters and monographs on haps it is time the situation, he decided to: ment of Preparation Programs of Edu- teaching and the preparation of school of those who evacuate the Gym and cational Administrators. He was a leaders, lifelong learning programs, and truly get McGinley Center. member of the Educational Advisory and the future of American education. Board for the National Policy Board Carroll then called the He was a pioneer in the application of Bronx Borough Police for Educational Administration and i case study methods to educational de- frequent adviser and consultant to th« Command and spoke to the cision making. An innovative educa- : state departments of education, pro- Captain. Officers from the tor, Dr. Mulkeen co-directed the Insti- •een, fessional accrediting societies, am 48th Precinct and the Bronx tute for Urban Education in 1975-76, individual school systems. , ^ Task Force responded to the; created the Office of Programs in Pro- Dr. Mulkeen is survived by his wife bomb threat along with fessional Education at Fordham in Emergency Medical Units 1982, and led the development of the Mary, son Liam, daughter Nancy, ant two sisters, Ann and Elizabeth. Friend :-picker, and The officers conducted a; Executive Leadership Doctoral Pro- thorough search of the gram since 1989. wishing to. honor his memory are re you've got the quested to make a contribution to 3 those people building and declared it Officers from the 48th Precinct responded to the bomb threats Born September 12, 1936 in New scholarship fund in his name in th an picking. safe and free from bombs at 12:50 p.m.. McGinley Center on Saturday. York City, Dr. Mulkeen began his Graduate School of Education. Pleas move me as I career as a teacher of history and write to the Dean, Graduate School c nger out, and I social studies at James Monroe High Education, Fordham University, 11 ing to fill with School in the Bronx. He received his West 60th Street, Room 1121, Ne' been his best Alumni give advice at SPJ forum doctorate in 20th Century National- York, NY 10023 le just beamed, By Dana Potenza Record, and Arthur Hayes, who writes opinion. ism from St. John's University in 1967. -Courtesy of Office ofPubtcAffa h. As people . STAFF WRITER for The Wall Street Journal. The "What separates you is how dedi- to dinner, he . Fordham's chapter of The Society speakers each took a turn reliving the cated you are, what you do in your his joyous mo-, of Professional Journalists hosted a trails and tribulations they endured spare time," said Brown. )gie as much as seminar on Wednesday, March 24 en- before they found their niche in the "Apply yourself now and decide titled "Fordham Alumni in the Me- media industry and explained what what you want to do," was the advice given by Hayes, who endured Harvard rout, and I dia." The event gave SPJ members and other journalist hopefuls a chance "What separates Law School before deciding to write y beginning to hear professional advice regarding you is how for The Journal. is must have the challenges of the media industry, Members of the Society and others boogie. and what it lakes to achieve, from dedicated you are, who attended also had the opportunity graduates who have successfully en- what you do in your to gain useful tips on resume writing pickers, don't be tered the field. The words of the and interviews and, hear a woman's ii exist, it doesn't [speakers fell on eager listeners, who spare time." side of being in the profession from Federico. The bottom line of their laleur oi an expert, (consisted of club members and anum- -Darryl Brown, messages could be summed up in one skills be known, :r of residents and commuters. word: sacrifice, which is no news to vork. Share your Featured at the event were Darryl Senior Vice- aspiring college students. As Jack iding together, and Irown, basketball star turned senior Conceicao from WINS summed it up, lice President of ABC Radio, Jack President ABC radio snots, you will be "The key is determination and sacri- icao. a Fordham neighborhood their current positions entailed. When fice. As long as I knew macaroni and Tim, all of us at The who is now an editor at 1010 asked by faculty advisor of SPJ, Dr. cheese was out there, I knew I could iS radio, Christine Federico, former : admire yourcour- Gwenyth Jackaway what advice they make it." f-oranam graduates Christine Federico and Darryl Brawn 'ordhamnose-pick- Executive Editor who currently would give to themselves as college uraged, people will for the Morris CoUnry, NJ Daily students, there was a consensus of d b^: our way, and accept THREAT NEWS BRIEFS FROM PAGE 11 USG to hold Spring F.U.E.M.S. elects new officers pus. You wouldn't expect a bomb Fordham E.M.S. elected officers Tuesday. The results were the folio' scare on campus," he said. ADMINSTRATTVE STAFF: A campus resident found out about Olympics Director: Jennifer Cavanaugh the evacuation around noontime. "I By Catherine Sabatos The class colors for the event will Associate Director: Christine Delneo was going out to Eddie's to read," said NEWS EDITOR be: maroon for the Class of '93, green Assistant Directors: David Camp, Glendys Villar, William Adams Dawn Yanek, FC '96, "but there were for the Class of '94. blue for the Class Secretary/Treasurer: Heather Freeman 1,000 cheerleaders practicing their Fordham's USG is planning to hold of '95 and orange for the Class of '96. MEDICAL STAFF: cheers." the firsfannual Spring Olympics dur- ing the weekends of April 17-18 and Tawan Parsons, USG President for Chief of Operations: Matthew Rosenblatt A few students who were notpresent April 24-25. CBA '96, said of the Olympics, "I feel Assistant Chief of Operations: Christian Balewski did not appear to be concerned. Rob- really optimistic that the student body Captain: Lisa Limongelli ert Dolan,FC '93,said"Ididn'ttakeit The idea for the Olympics is to will want to take part in these activi- Lieutenants: Richard Decker, Chris Jones, Brian Klocke, Linda Regi seriously when I heard [about] it." create an opportunity for Fordham ties, especially since there is money Training Lieutenant: Anton Alerte Mark O'Brien, CBA '95, and Adam students to join together to foster class involved." F.U.E.M.S. would like to eliminate any confusion concerning their phom Lang, CBA '94, agreed with Dolan. spirit and school unity. "You have to expect these things after The Olympics will consist of a se- Sign-ups for the Olympic events listing in the Student Directory. Their correct number is 579-2467 the Twin Tower incident. Gooney The idea for the Olympics is to create an A liberating X-perience people playing practical jokes," said opportunity for Fordham students to join together In an attempt to heighten awareness about Malcolm X and Dr. Martin Lui Michelle O'Dwyer, FC '93. King, Jr., a series of programs concerning their lives and the ideologies of During an evacuation, the concern to foster class spirit and school unity. two men were held this week. The events were organized by Rob Thorn that people will panic, cause a stam- FC '94, a Resident Assistant in Walsh Hall. Thompson developed the idea i; pede and stomp others who have fallen ries of events that all students are will be in the McGinley Center on conjuction with an African-American Studies class, "Martin Luther King, it is always present. "While to some it's eligible to participate in. Representa- Thursday, April 1, 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 and Malcolm X", which is taught by Professor Mark L. Chapman. a joke," Carroll warned, "it creates tives on USG from each class will p.m. and 5:30 to 7:00 p.m. and on Events included a screening of Gil Noble's Malcolm X. a panel discussii tremendous danger to the student body handle a different day's events. Some Friday. April 2. 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 on the social, political and theological ideologies of Malcom X and Dr. King] and the responding police officers. of those planned include flag football. p.m. a screening of C.B .S. News' Malcolm X:The Real Storv and a showing of Spi It's not too dissimilar to screaming Jeopardy and a water balloon toss. Tara O'Brien. Vice President of Lee's Malcolm X on Thursday. The panel featured Ed Gulczyski, Deanna fire when it's in fact a false alarm." Most of the events will be held on Communications for USG and one of Crooks and Noel Eaton, students in Chapman's class, as well as Chapman. Carroll does not believe there was Martyr's Lawn. the main coordinators of the Olym- Thompson was excited about the great turnout at the events. "It reflects the any link to the World Trade Center A point system will be calculated to pics, said, "What better way to prove sheer hunger students have to search and uncover the truiths we've been blast. He said, "Police are investigat- keep score of how each class is partici- everyone wrong and show that apathy 1 I ing this incident and focusing on calls pating. The winning class will be is not as prevalent on campus as stu- dents think, than to unite in the spirit made to tthe security office." awarded a trophy as well as a mon- etary prize of $500-$ 1.000 to be saved and fun of the games." in a fund for their Senior Week.

DIVINE WORD MISSIONARIES WORK TO HEAL SHATTERED LIVES Divine Word Missionary Priests and Brothers work in more than 55 countries to bring God's Word to the poor and marginalized.

We are an international, multi-cultural Catholic commu- nity of 5,700 men. We offer programs of education, forma- tion and discernment at 5 sites in the United States, ou can BetweenSunday,Maich21,12:30 STii^ix I\J auuiua^u 4 icintiit SILUJCHI tiiiu p.m. and Saturday, March 27, 7:30 engage her in conversation. O DIVINE WORD COLLEGE SEMINARY, Epworth, Iowa Ymake a p.m., University Church. A security guard by Alumni South is the only four-year college in the IJ.& devoted to difference as An unknown person(s) tried to pry observed this and described the youth preparing men for work as missionary priests or part of an open the closet in the sacristy of the to other guards over the radio. The brothers. University Church. youth was apprehended by the 3d Av- enue gate. He was arrested and issued D THE ASSOCIATE supportive Thursday, March 25, 3:45 a.m., a summons by the 48th precinct for PROGRAM Is a one- community. Spellman Hall. trespassing and harassment. year residency A male and a female student en- program for col- tered Spellman Hall. When informed Sunday, March 28, 3:30 p.m of the visitation policy, the male stu- Southern Boulevard. lege graduates dent became enraged, tore down a A security officer on campus ob- who are consid- poster and verbally abused the security served a man off-campus trying to ering the priest- guard on duty. The student has been remove a radio box from a car. The hood or referred to the Dean of Students. security guard chased the man, but he brotherhood* was not apprehended. Friday, March 26,5:05 p.m., Free- man Hall. ' Monday, March 29, between 3:30 O CASA GUADALUPE A rottweiler dog on a long leash, and 6:00 p.m., Near the Athletic is a smalt community of attended by a female student, bit a Office. Hispanic college seminar- university administrator near Freeman A student reported that money was ians in Los Angeles. Hall. removed from his bag which was left unattended near the Athletic Office by O TOLTON HOUSE OF STUDIES is a residence far Saturday, March 27, 1:15 a.m., an unknown person(s). African-American college seminarians lo New Fordham Road and Webster Av- Orleans. enue. Monday, March 29, 9:15 p.m., A student was harassed by an indi- Parking Lot-H. vidual who had been, identified by the Three local youths, ages 12-13, were O WENDELIN HOUSE is a small religious community student and arrested for robbery on observed by security near an automo- of Divine Word Missionary Brother candidates in January 23. The matter is being inves- bile in Lot-H. When security went to Washington, D.C. tigated by the 48th precinct. investigate, the youths ran and es- For more information, write: caped. Security found that several cars FR. BOB KELLY, SVD Saturday, March 27, 3:12 a.m., were damaged. DIVINE WORD MISSIONARIES S22 Near Alumni South. A search was conducted by security A local youth followed three on foot and in cars, but the youths were Epworth, IA 52045-0380 Fordham students onto campus. He or call our toll-free number: not apprehended. 1-800-553-3321 PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal: OPINION AIDS and Common Red , BMcGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 Rose? Ethics in SPEAK UP!! Fordham Gets Own

THE RAM /Thursday. April 1.1993/13

the sixth, as Mackey had control prob- BASEBALL lems and issued a bases loaded walk. FROM PAGE 13 Trailing by a run in the seventh. Post seemingly tied the score as John Hockey Seniors Thru The Page Tajera proceeded to walk. Harris then Lipini sacrificed Jeff Mauri home. singled to right, to drive in Stringer. The run was taken away, though, when was voted to the ,A11-Star game as a after graduation. But it will be tough Mike Butler then cleared the bases the umpires called the game on ac- By Mary Turk defenseman because he started his with work and all. But I'll try to be with his second triple of the year. He count of darkness. Unfortunately for STAFF WRITER Fordham hockey career as a left wing. there and help anyway I can." came in to score a batter later, when thePioneersof C.W. Post, therulebook The end of the 1992-93 season Starting his junior year, Fordham When asked what he'll miss the Joe Schultz hit a sacrifice fly to right. states the score reverts to what it was means the end of the road for four Ice was hard pressed for a defenseman, most, he quickly responded, "Not the Butler picked up another RBI two in the beginning of the inning not Rams. Three of them, Jay Corrigan, since there were only three starters. " 11:30 practices. I will miss playing innings later, this time doubling to completed because of rain or dark- John McDonough and Steve Pecchia Coach Afanase wicz asked me if I would with thdse guys, we played through center to drive in Tejera. Russel ness. Because of this rule, Mackey have played Fordham hockey since drop back, since I played some "d" in some really bad times. But then again, Benevenu to struck out three to pre- and the Rams went home with a vic- their freshman year. Now they say high school and I said sure." That we had some really good times, too." serve a shutout and a Rams' 5-0 win. tory. goodbye to their teammates and say move definitely improved FordhanV*s There is one senior who played his The victory upped the Rams' Patriot On Tuesday, however, the Rams hello to their new lives ahead. defensive corps. firstseason this season. Doug Chisholm League record to 3-1. were not so lucky. Led by Charles The annual awards were given out John McDonough was well-known decided to play for the Ice Rams this Fordham's squad continued their Coleman's superb pitching and at the close of the season. John by his competitors for his hard hitting season since it w as his finalyear and he winning ways in a controversial 5-4 Michael Diegez's two-run homer, the McDonough was awarded team MVP and crushing body checks. So, when missed playing hockey. winoverC.W.Poston Monday. Fresh- Pace University Setters inched by and was named to the All-Star game. asked what position he liked better, "I'mreally disappointed thatldidn't man hurler Jeff Corbett got the start Fordham 4-3. Jeff Gardner started off Jay Corrigan won the Division Sports- offense or defense, the answer was come out sooner, the team has some manship Award, along with the Team obvious. "I was hit more when I really talented players andgreatguys." Unfortunately, the Rams did not fare as well inScholar Athlete award. Joining played offense. When you play de- His enthusiasm on and off the ice the second gameof the doubleheader. They McDonough at the ^All-Star game will fense, you get to hit more. I guess made Chisholm one of the most popu- be Steve Pecchia. hitting is better than getting hit." lar players on the team. However, hung close the whole game but could not get After graduating from Mt. St. This season was a career high for when asked about his personal season, the big hit when needed. Michael's in 1989, Steve Pecchia en- John McDonough, who had three goals, he is modest. rolled at Fordham and began his Ice ten assists for thirteen points. "I'm disappointed in myself. The three year absence hurt. There were against the Pioneers. Fordham, in Ram hockey career. He was so im- McDonough was there all season and slowly, but settled down to give the pressive his freshman year that he was played with heart game in and game some instincts and physical play that I their half of the first, came up with two Rams a solid six innings. Shawn Har- one of the four starting defensemen. out. He's considered the quiet leader just couldn't do anymore." runs. Harris led off with a single to ris and Mike Butler each had RBI's in Teamed with Frank Randazzo, the two on the team and would rather show Chisholm was greatly appreciated right. He advanced to second on a the third for the Rams. Joe Schultz created a solid defensive unit. They how good he is, rather than tell. "I at the end of the season when Pecchia wild pitch and was moved to third on provided the highlight of the game by may have seemed like a quiet duo off knew what I had to do and other people was hurt. Chisholm added speed and a single by Mike Butler. Joe Schultz launching his second homerun of the the ice, but on it, they spoke powerful said what had to be said." consistency on defense and was able then bounced into a fielder's choice, year. Charles Cuchiara pitched three to provide offense when needed. He which scored Harris. After a Caldera scoreless innings of relief for theRams. offense. Next fall, McDonough will be hang- This season was supposed to.be ing up his skate^for a stethoscope as had ten points this season, which is not single, Schultz scored on an infield hit The early Pace lead proved insur- bad for a player who hadn't touched by DiGrandi. The Rams scored two Pecchia's best. "I worked out almost he enters medical school. John "Doc" mountable as the Rams lost their sixth the ice in three years. more in the second as the red hot one run game of the season. every day, ran every morning and McDonough will be missed by his played hockey every weekend for a teammates and his coaches. His play His play, along with the other Butler tripled in Harris and Tejera. Overall, the Rams have been play- spring-summer •••••MM^ Fordham defend- In the third inning, Corbett let up a ing well, winning six of their last eight ers, made the de- one out single, followed bv a walk and league. I was Fordham hockey will lose four players games. Their Patriot League record fensive unit the another single. Another freshman, ready to play and now stands at 3-1, while their overall who gave it their all and asked for most stable and Harry Burns, relieved him and gave I was really look- record is 6-9. Tom Caldara continues consistent than any up a sacrifice fly to Post catcher Mike ing forward to this to lead the Rams with a .429 batting nothing in return. It may be the end of the other unit on the [zzo. Jeff Mauri then doubled in Post's season." r average. DiGrandi and Butler lead road for their Fordham hockey careers, team. Doug second run of the inning, but Mark the team in runs batted in with fifteen Before the first Duffy was out at the plate, trying to game of the '92- Chisholm explains apiece, followed by Harris' eleven. but the real journey is just beginning. why he loves play- score from first, on a great relay throw Freshman Joe Mackey's 0.59 earned '93 season took ing defense, "It typifies a hockey by Tejera. Fordham scored its last run run average leads the pitching staff, place, he was named co-captain, along goes well beyond being names the player. I love playing "d." I was of the game in the third inning as followed by Henry Toolan (2.65), Bill with Jay Corrigan. Being named cap- team's most valuable player. He will originally a center in high school, but Harris brought in Scavettaon afielder's Conkling (3.52), and Ramon tain was something Pecchia did not be the team's most missed players as switched to. defense in sophomore choice. Post picked up another run in Hernandez (3.66). take lightly. "I was basically a leader he goes back to the mid-west. from the get-go. I played-all four years One senior that will be staying in year." and I like to think I lead by example. New York after graduation is the team' s Perhaps Chisholm's main contri- I don't say much to anyone, unless backbone, Jay Corrigan. Corrigan, a butions happened off the ice. He's need be. I let my play speak for itself." native Rhode Islander, began his always enthusiastic and optimistic and And his play did speak for itself. Fordham hockey career in his fresh- always gives credit where credit is Pecchia finished the season with 3 man year. "When I was a freshman, I due, especially when describing goals, 14 assists for 17 points and led was always in the background, more of Fordham's assistant coach, Andrew all Fordham defensemen in points and a role player. I played on the same Mola. provided the team with excellent de- checking line with John McDonough." "Drew does morethan anyone could fense. For all four years, he gave it his This season was a personal best for imagine andhe's just a great guy. You all. Pecchia, a truly talented player, Corrigan, who led the team with 19 couldn't meet a nicer guy." has been the team's most treasured goals, 16 assists for 35 points. It was No one could compliment Drew asset all season long, for four long also a $100 season as Corrigan made a Mola enough. He keeps the team seasons. bet with his roommate whether or not organized and is the team's scout However, an ankle injury ended his he could score 17 or more goals. '"I against league competition. However, season five weeks early. "I was really guess that's why this season was so the compliment goes both ways. disappointed because ithappened when disappointing. I had a good season, According to Mola, "It takes dedi- I started to play very well." but the teamjustdidn'tget any breaks." cation to play Fordham hockey. It Although the injury resulted in six Corrigan won many awards this couldhave been easy for those guys to weeks of physical therapy, Steve season, including a Team Service walk away, since the season was dis- Pecchia will NOT miss this year's All- award for all the hard, long work his appointing. They were truly the back- Star game, to which he was named has done since the beginning. "It was bone of the team and won * t be replaced second line starting defenseman. nothing glamorous. It was all the very easily. They will be sorely Pecchia feels honored to be selected. grunt work, working with the adminis- missed." "It's a great way to end my college tration, getting things together and This season may have been disap- career. My season ended a bit prema- keeping the team rolling." pointing. But the play of the four turely, so this is a good way to finish Corrigan did keep the team rolling graduating seniors was hardly that. up." on and off the ice. He played with Fordham hockey will lose four players Fordham will have two representa- intensity, he played injured arid he who gave it their all and asked for nothing in return. It may be the end of Photo Courts* Sport? Information tives at this season's All-Star game. played well. His work ethic and lead- John McDonough will be a first line ership will be missed, buthe is hopeful the road for their Fordham hockey Second baseman Tom Caldara leads the team with a .429 defenseman. It may be ironic that he to continue working with the team. careers, but the real journey is just batting average, in the early stages of the season. "I'd like to work with the team beginning. The Ram ft'.-:" :-:*:""- ••:'•••. •>.'•• •'••'•ft • .• "•" •:• ••• '• ; ; ••'•' ': : '.V I:-':' '•"•!'&• V-^ :: April 1,1993 14

Transitioning Tennis 1 -2 after squash; coach optomistic

By Kevin Callahan O'Connor (7-6, 7-5), junior Derrick !1 STAFF WRITER Sogocio (6-0, 6-2), and sophomore Justin DeSantis (6-4, 6-3). The Fordham men's tennis team The snow-covered courts were not There a began the 1993 season on a sour note ready for last Saturday's scheduled |be beyond this past week when they were soundly meet at Holy Cross, so Fordham *s next Ithink that defeated by Army in their opener, but meet was on the indoor courts at Salem jity and n< they proceeded to bounce back and State College in Salem, MA. The display o! drop a close meet at Northeastern be- Rams dominated, sweeping allmatches •men are al fore trouncing Salem State for their enroute to a convincing 9-0 win that tthe auturr first win of the year. boosted their record to 1-2. Gebbia I golf a foe "As always. I'm very optimistic," won his second match of the season, ITo parapl said head coach Bob Hawthorn of his rolling to a 6-0, 6-0 victory at No. 1 1 sex, "Wh 10-member squad. "The reason we singles. Senior co-captain John Salmon I day chasi had difficulty with these teams was posted a 6-4. 6-4 win at the second I the count that they play tennis all year round singles position. Sogocio (6-0,6-1) [• scream al while we play squash during the win- and O'Connor (6-2,6-1) were victori- : only to g ter. But I'd rather have it that way. It ous at the No. 3 and No. 4 spots respec- ; Andlhos is more interesting for us to have the tively. DeSantis won in three sets at two different sports to play during No. 5 singles (5-7.6-3,7-6). while year." sophomore Noel Juguilon scored a 6- Coming off an 18-13 squash sea- 3, 6-2 triumph in the No. 6 slot. and hole "/ really am optimistic. I feel we've been plain abt green, t improving leaps and bounds, "said coach playing Hawthorn. out of y Photo by Sue Youmans/STAFF problerr An all too familar sight for coach Gallagher and his Rams, son. Hawthorn certainly has good rea- In doubles action, Gebbia and into the the weajher has played a part in every game this season. son to be hopeful about his team's Sogocio teamed up for a 6-2, 6-4 vic- you girl chances in tennis. tory. At No. 2 doubles, O'Connor and for a fe However, in the March 25th opener senior Andrew Morgan prevailed 6-2, day? V it was West Point who prevailed by a 7-6 while Jim Cosgrove and Kevin our corf decisive 8-1 score. The lone bright Santos posted an 8-6 win at No. 3 like wf Home Sweet Home spot for the Rams was freshman Guy doubles. offense Gebbia. who outdueled Army's Marty Following home meets against Ther Rams go 4-2 at Jack Coffey Whalen for a4-6.7-6. 6-3- win at No. Fairfield andNYU, the Rams will leave don't u 1 singles. for a weekend swing through Pennsyl- either, The Rams traveled to Northeastern thons > by Stephen Cassidy double that was followed by Tom deplorable. In the first game^Fordham vania where matchups against prevailed 4-2 as Ramon Hernandez the next day where, despite an im- Villanova, Lehigh, and Lafayette await fairness STAFF WRITER Macarthur's single. After a sacrifice, proved performance, they fell Jo the them. In an outlook oftheweekahead. love of fellow freshman Joe Mackey relieved went the distance and picked up his Huskies by a 6-3 margin. Fordham Hawthorn said,"We'll have to wait is. The Toolan. He got out of the inning by first win. he struck out six. won three outofthe six singles matches, and see how much we're improving. vides tl The Rams started their return to the getting a sacrifice fly, that scored On offense, the Rams backed Northeast impressively, compiling a Hernandez by scoring a run in the but dropped all three doubles matches Butlreaily am optimistic. I feel we've these n Macarthur, and a bouncer to second. to bring about the defeat. Winners for been improving leaps and bounds." goes tc 4-2 record over the last week. A Lafayette's 3-0 lead proved ihsur- second and three in the third. In the mixture of solid pitching and good second inning, third baseman Vince the Rams were senior co-captain Chris The toi hitting propelled the Rams. Fordham DiGrandi got on. on an error with two We* began their weekend with a twin bill, out. Center fielder Scavetta then selves against league foe, Lafayette. J.C. A mixture of solid walked and was followed by Epler. Rain, Rain, Go Away considc Jones got the nod on the mound for the who knocked in DiGrandi with a double so with Rams as he opposed Lafayette's Scott pitching and good to right. The third inning was set up by tion. A Werkhoven. the speedy Harris, who reached first, Howev hitting propelled the cise in ( In the fourth, Fordham got on the on an error by the shortstop. Mike PLEASE We are Scoreboard, a Tom Caldera double Rams. Butler then singled and Harris came in competition in Florida was some of the propori was followed by a Tony Galeotafiore to score on an error by the catcher. By Jennifer Vivoio best in the country, according to assis the f aci walk. This set the stage for the turning After Tom Caldera grounded out. Tony STAFF WRITER tant coach George Kalb* The quality iremen point of the game. Jerry Geigle hit a mountable for Fordham. They did Galetafiore ripped a double to left of the-winjietUtott could explain t The Lady Rams Softball team is down, screaming line drive over the left field manage a run in the fourth on Caldera's which scored Butler. Freshman DH tesitt&O-^teootd aada total of six rows ahead in the forecast for a me is t fence to give the Rams a 3-0 lead. double that scored Joe Schultz. Paul Marino then singled to send scared during die Florida toad trip. tffcak in the clouds. They began the why th Lafayette battled back in the fourth The Rams had a final chance in the Galetafiore to third. DiGrandi fol- : Hie stay in Florida djtf, however. down, 1953'season attempting to rebound with two runs, but Jones pitched his seventh. With one out, King hit Jerry lowed with a fly ball to right to bring give the team a bright outlook for the and shi horn last season's 12-21 record and way out of a bases-loaded jam to keep Geigle with a pitch, and pinch hitter in Galetafiore. future. The six games uncovered the debate fourth, jjtaw finish in the Patriot the Rams on top. Bill Conkling threw B rendan Reynolds reached on a throw- The Rams breezed through the sec- laieot and value of this year's fresh- The League, twoscoreless innings of relief, to notch ing error. Tony Stringer followed ond game, spurred on by Bill man. Three,freshmen, Amy Clarke, is base Mother Nature has pat the hopes of his first save, in a 5-2 Ram win. with a fly ball that scored Geigle. The Conkling'sfive innings of shutout ball. K.rist»ft S«imt and Cathy A&dxante, concer Unfortunately, the Rams did not rally ended when King induced Mike .Conkling sprinkled just five hits over .500 season or better with to use fare as well in the second game of the Scavetta to fly out, his masterpiece. The Rams held score- staff "excited obroal the future," cora- interes double header. Freshman Henry Fordham rebounded the next day less in the first two innings, exploded ind the Manhattan College TOentedjCoJIj, „ to rem Toolan started, and pitched well for with a doubleheader sweep of the for fourruns in the third. Withoneout. Ra«j$ are scbeQaM to main c three innings. In the fourth, though, he Lehigh Engineers. Both games were 'catcher Tony Stringersingled and Alex The only games that have been comes ran into trouble. With Lafayette lead- played in light rain and fog, which yedwwetlwthGsedorinfitheieBm'* " lor a winning season:. That is, if &e their c ing 1-0, Mike Mancia led off with a made the already bad field conditions SEEBASEBALL/PAGE13 stay w Winwr <3atden. Florida. The tarpcajt be Jifted from Ibe field. order PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal AIDS and Common Red, •McGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 Rose? Ethics in SPEAK UP!! Fordham Own

OPINION SECTION THE RAM / April 1,1993/ 15 GOON1ERPOINT

11 Up Or Down?" That Is The Question "Women Can't Grasp It" "Men Gotta Learn How To Aim" It When men use the bathroom, they point 2, and find that you have There are some things that seem to sanitary manner, we have two options; Picture this: use the seat about 50% of the time. misaimed,... well, let's just say, ... be beyond the grasp of women. They 1) put full faith in our accuracy with It is late, late at night. You are Therefore the seat is used approxi- BABY, THATS NASTY!! think that football is a study in brutal- the seat down (as you would have it) or, sound asleep. You are warm and mately 75% of the time, which is (for' I think you can see my point here, ity and not the artistically balanced 2) remove any doubt and have the seat cozy in your bed. Suddenly, you are those of you who don't know) the so I won't insult your intelligence by display of physical prowess that we raised. The former leaves far too much awakened by that gnawing feeling majority. Therefore, it should re- continuing. You guys have more men are able to appreciate throughout too chance, while the latter removes that your bladder is about to burst. main in the downward position when options than we do. You can either sit the autumn months. They consider any risk and allows for any misfires. Grudgingly,youdragyoiirselfout of not in use, to be conducive to the or stand. You think all women do is golf a foolish waste of an afternoon. These steps taken, both are protected bed, determined to remain half majority of usage. complain. You think nothing you do To paraphrase so many of the gentler from any germs when the seat is needed asleep, so that once you return to Secondly, men, if you are utilizing will make us happy. Trust me on this sex. "Why do you spend your whole for sitting, and comfort is assured. your warm, cozy bed, you can con- your "standingrelief" option,you are one, there, are a few things you can do that will make us very happy. If you day chasing a little white ball through Beyond these sanitary measures, tinue your pleasant dream. You facing the seat, and-therefore are well do it, I promise we will not whine. the countryside, then come home and the next point of interest is conve- stumble to the bathroom, and sit aware of the position of the seat be- While exercising your standing op- scream about the futility of the sport, nience. Men, as a rule, use the lava- down. Your expected reaction is ".. fore you begin, and can, in one swift tion, you can-either leave the seat only to go back out the next week?" tory moreoften than women, and there- . ahh... relief, \our actual reaction movement raise it. However, if we down and learn how to aim, or do your And those who do try the game go out fore it is their interests which should be is "AAAHHH!@#$**#@H!" are in a rush, we run in and sit down, deed, in the haphazard manner of your catered to. It is much more difficult for and we may not always turn to exam- choice, and clean up after yourself. men to have to bend over and lift the ine the position of the seat. Trust us, C&mmmtwyBy Both of these options free you from seat than it is for both men and women it is not a pleasant surprise to find that having to replace the seat in the proper to simply return the seat to its proper, the seat is up, after you've sat down. (down) position. Or you can lift the upright position as they get up from the This brings me to my next point. and hold everybody up as they com- You are now wide awake, your seat, and do what you've gotta do, bowl. For proof of this I will point to You put the seat up, because you plain about their husbands on the ninth butt is frozen, and you are very, very however you want to do it, and return the most efficient method of lifting have so little faith in your "aiming green. An aside: the golf course is for angry! What happened? You sat on the seat to the proper position. We'll any object. One does not pick up a abilities". Well, if we rush in (be- playing golf. If you want to take time the actual toilet bowl. Why? Be- be none the wiser to your (un)sanitary weighted object using only their back, cause nature is knocking loudly), and out of your day to whine about your cause the seat was left up. However ways. It doesn't hurt, guys, you can the position which men are forced to we act in the manner described in problems, do as we men do. Take it women, don't think of blaming the push the seat down with one hand and assume when they pick up the seat. into the bar. Speaking of bars, why do men, as most will tell you we have no flush with the other (that way it doesn't Rather, we are all taught to lift heavy And if you can't handle you girls get so upset when we go out right to blame them for this horrible even take more time.) And if you can't objects with our whole body, the posi- these acts of common for a few drinks at the end of a long experience. Correct me if I'm wrong, handle these acts of common cour- tion from which the seat could be lifted day? We enjoy winding down with but I would feel pretty safe betting courtesy, well thanrdo us all tesy, well than, do us all a favor, and as. we rise from the facility. So, keep- our compatriots but you make it seem that it was not another woman that a favor, and use the... use the ... first tree on the right. like we're committing some great ing the seat up is also better for our left that seat up. first tree on the right. offense. I mean, lighten up. bodies. And aren't we all concerned with the condition of our physiques? Yes guys, we do blame you. I must There are some things that men admit, we women do have to bear a don't understand about you women bit of this burden, however. It is our either. Like these shopping mara- own fault that we assumed that the We have the ability McGinley Center Room B-52 thons you go on. But hey, in all men we were surrounded by were fairness, perhaps it is similar to our to relieve ourselves civilized, courteous gentlemen. Our Editorial Office Business Office love of golf. So that will be left as it while standing up, mistake. You have helped us to right (718)579-2665 (718)579-2082 is. The one serious issue which di- our wrong; we are beginning to un- Fax vides the sexes goes beyond any of and out of derstand that you are, most definitely, (718)579-2737 these minor divergences of taste, it rude, crude pigs. Thank you for goes to the heart of male comfort. consideration for setting us straight. Now, since there BoxB The toilet seat. your comfort, we do is no need to turn this into amudsling- Fordham University We have the ability to relieve our- ing match between the sexes, I will Bronx, New York 10458 selves while standing up, and out of so with the seat in take this time to simply point out to consideration for your comfort, we do the upright position. you why you are wrong when you Weekly Circulation: 14,000 so with the seat in the upright posi- leave the toilet seat up, and then you Distribution: Rose Hill and Lincoln Center tion. A truly kind gesture on our part. A truly kind gesture all can change your misguided habit. However, after we perform this exer- Letters to the Editor and Commentaries are due by Monday at 12:00 Because I am aware of the needs cise in charity, you still demand more. on our part. PM. They must be neatly handwritten or typed, double-spaced. We of the male ego, I will first pat you on We are faced with tirades of nuclear are appreciative of submissions in virtually any IBM word processor However, after we your backs for a job well done. We proportion when you require use of format. Commentaries are printed on a space-available basis. Submis- must acknowledge that those of you the facility and have to go through the perform this who leave the seat up, first had to lift sions should not exceed 1,000 words in length. The Ram reserves the tremendous task of putting the seat exercise in charity, that very heavy object, and you did right to reject any submission for any reason without notice. All down. So from here, the task before so, very graciously, out of the kind- submissions become the exclusive property of The Ram and will not me is to enlighten you women as to you still demand ness of your heart. Hell, while we are be returned. Commentaries are the unedited work of the author unless why the seat belongs up rather than at it, thank you for using the bowl in down. My argument is two-pronged, more. otherwise stated.77ie .Ram is the university-wide newspaper of Fordham the first place. Boy, you guys are just and shoOld settle at least one area of University, serving the campus and community since 1918. The Ram dandy! What did, we do to deserve debate between men and women. is published and distributed free of charge every Thursday during the There you women have it. A con- such royal treatment? cise argument for the maintenance of academic year. The Rdmis represented nationally for advertising by The first argument for this position Now, in case you don't understand is based on general hygiene, a great the bathroom and the toilet seat in the CASS Communications and American Passage. Ad rates are available upright position. Men arid women may why it is offensive and beastly to upon request from the advertising manager. Ad deadline is Friday by concern of all men. Both of us have leave the toilet seat up after you have never be able to agree on everything 5 PM. The opinions expressed in The Ram's editorial are those of the to u$e the same seat, and it is in the concluded relieving yourself, I will interests of all concerned for the seat --1 point to golf and shopping as areas editorial board;, those expressed in columns, letters or graphics are where there will never be understand- point out just of few of the points, I to remain as clean as possible. The could, of course, go on forever. But those of the individual writers. No part of The Ram^ including text, main opportunity for the seat to be- ing—but this long-time bone of conten- tion between the sexes seems to be an I won't, so quite simply: photos, artwork and adsi may be reproduced without the written come soiled is when the men exercise consent of the Editor. The Ram is composed at the Fordham Graphics their option of standing relief. In area where we should air be able to When women use the bathroom; Student Print Shop.';:-. •;.-.. order to accomplish this task in a agree and get along. they use the seat 100% of the time. .•*>. ;.:¥•;•«'?,'»-"

Good Times and Entertainment at: Pugsley's Pizza January 1, 100 BC

I was discovered in the 1st century by the monkeys• As time went by, the man came along. He fell in love with me and he started to eat me. He saw that I was so out of sight that A great thought came to him - to introduce me to the highest society. There, they named me pizza. But, I deserve a better name. Test me once and you will call me DYNAMITE!!!! FAST DELIVERY Pasta, Heroes, Pizza, Calzones, Chicken Wings, Homemade Biscuits, Zeppolis, Live Music and Lotsa Lotsa Fun

April Showers Bring Flowers SPECIALS hrrrrrmg me LOTS OF PLEASURE!

HHHHH 590 East 191 st Street 365-0327 PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal: OPINION AIDS and Common Red, McGannon A Decent Flick White or Lecture Tackles PAGE 21 Sense Prevention PAGE 15 R o s e '} Ethics in SPEAK UP!! Fordham I flwn

What an experience! Dagger Johnf s

By Erin Melody place of illicit sexual ex- Ann and the Res Life Ris- ASST. EDITOR ploitation. que Dancers". Our Lunch at Dagger source assumed that the For weeks the controversy has lancers were RDs and heated up over the admittance poli^ John's was billed as an afternoon away from the RAs, but further investi- cies of Dagger John's, the campus gation shows that the en- hustle and bustle of the pub and restaurant. The Culture ertainers were employ- South Bronx. As it turned section of The Ram tried for weeks ees not only located in out, it was an afternoon to get in, saying that we were going he dorms, but in the of- of hustle and bustle, or to do a review of the food, and even fice of Res Life as well. promised them a favorable review, hustling and bust lines. Fhey painted their bod- regardless of how itreally was, but to Patrons were seated by a ies in the Fordham colors no avail. Two weeks ago, we were "hostess", who turned out of maroon and white, and approached by an alumnus who was to be Fr. Shea in drag. wore maroon leather hot on his way in to lunch at DJ's. He After our source recov? >ants and ram's wool said he had never been to DJ's be- ered from that shock, he jrassieres. They danced fore, but would love to fill us in, as received his menu, only to the Fordham Fight sort of a review, after his luncheon. to be appalled by its con- Song and other Patriot We readily took him up on his offer tents. They ranged from League favorites. Their to review the new establishment, the "Ramburgef ", actually encore was to the funky made from former mas- andlookedforwardtohis comments. Can you guess the Jesait? remix of the "Best of Clarke's" col- We never saw him again, but re- cots, to the "Past Presidents' Pas- lection compiled by DJ Jazzy Gray. ceived a fax several days later that trami", and for dessert there was the theatres on 42nd Street, as chosen by initial talent search due to scheduling After several standing ovations and told the horrid tale I am about to pass "Keating Cannoli" made in that great the Fordham panel of Dean McShane, conflicts, but are on the future billing the promise of an encore after dessert, along to you. Irish Catholic/Jesuit tradition. Our Dean Kezel, Dean Reedy, and Dean list. This act was followed immedi- the Res Lifers left the stage for a brief Dagger John's was host to many source started as a restaurant critic, Rizutti. This all-star" entertainment ately by the exotic dancer "Madame rest. During this break, DJ Jazzy Gray Fordham alumni and employees, but and left with salmonella. was only the beginning of an after- M." Our source was unsure as to who took the spotlight, and spun some of not only for lunch, as it turns out. Instead of ordering, our source de- noon of fun. this wonder of the walkway was, but his famous "Jumpin Jeff" mixes of Dagger John's was actually a hot cided to turn his attention to the enter- Following an intermission was the the number is rumored to be the result such club favorites: Moon over Mi- spot of "love in the afternoon", or tainment. The afternoon billing was "Walsh WalkQueens of Drag" featur- of a rift between this .dancer and the ami, New York New York, A Summer should I say, sex. Behind those about to start, with the first act being ing members of the football, baseball, main act that produced an individual the "Deans' Dreams". This was an and rugby teams. Men's lacrosse and number for her. closed doors was not a friendly neigh- SEE DAGGER/PAGE 19 borhood "Cheers" type pub, but a all-star ensemble from the "finest" hockey were disqualified from the The main attraction was "Mary Casey, Father Shea's dog, speaks out

story from Casey on her life and a support group for Casey tells us that By Perillo my experimentation EDITOR times with Father Shea in her three- whatfinally changed volume set, Casey: My Life as a in bi-sexual encoun- her life was the Fr. Celibate Dog. ters." Shea's wrath after Animals are seen very often in the In the first volume of Casey's Reading the book catching her sneak- limelight; Lassie, Bingo and Mr. Ed new and courageous book, she tells allows the reader to ing out' the chalice are only a few of these gifted quad- us of her first encounter with Father feel very sympatheti- vino from the refrig- rupeds. However, it was only until Shea. Casey tells us, "When I first cally towards Casey, erator. From then recently that we have heard their who experienced on, Casey tells us the side of the story, instead of just ig- much trouble in these religious teachings noring them and treating them like Casey tells us of years. Casey goes on of Father Shea were animals. It wasn't until George and to tell us, "I was even so inspirational that Barbara Bush's dog Millie came out her traumatic thrown out of the she molded her life with her book about life in the White house several times to be that of "The House that we really began to listen year-long ordeal because of the Wild Holy Dog". to what they had to say. Let's also after Father Shea screaming and party- "Today", Casey not forget Socks, Bill and Hillary ing, and bringing tells us, "I have never Clinton's "wondercat". Now, to add had her spayed. home various male been so happy. Dad to the excitement, there is a new acquaintances." and I go strolling, Casey, who was book coming out by another famous met John (Father Shea), I thought to talk and just have a extremely popular and gifted animal, right on our own myself, 'What a loser, trying to play great time together. among the male gen- Fordham campus. No, it is not the all these cute little games with me.' I love him". der, went out with Fordham Ram, but Father Shea's He was really annoying." As the book Father Shea and Spuds MacKenzie. dog, Casey. Casey is a much-loved continues, we get a full look at Casey Casey share a loving The Bud Dog was ac- addition to theFordham community, as she matures through her adolescent relationship and tually the first to bring as we see her on her walks down and teenage years, with a chapter time well spent in her into a life of in- memory lane every night with Fr. entitled "That'sRightJ'mtheBitch". their own little hide- dulgence and alcohol. After Father Shea. And let's not forget how lov- "It was really tough living in a single- ordeal after Fr. Shea had her spayed. away in Spellman. Together, both Shea caught her with Spuds, Casey able she is as she runs to attack every parent environment. Dad was out a "I was a wreck for a whole year after pursuing religious careers, Casey says, was forbidden to see him, arid be- Fordham student who crosses her lot with the other Fathers, and I grew the incident. I felt very inadequate "I thank God every day for giving me came extremely reclusive. Casey path. Now, we, the Fordham student, up rather lonely and sheltered. There and I never left the house, so in turn I Father Shea. I'm so damn lucky." tells us of her traumatic year-long finally get to hear the real side of the was even a time when we had to go to looked to the bottle." ifcv • E

18/ Thursday, April 1, 1993 / THE RAM Culture jLollapalooza comes to Fordham Finally Real By Amy Tether turns out, the Fordham Administra- By The Hippie Chick play include the Beastie Boys, campus-wide party. B STAFF WRITER tion is finally recognizing the fact • STAFF WRITER Porno for Pyros, Cypress Hill, Soul Of course, the Concert Commit- that no matter the dangers outside Asylum and Pearl Jam The com- tee has now come under attack from the gates, students of all ages drink. B Fordham University's Concert mittee plans to provide the bands the Administration, who sincerely Just when you thought your diet After years of deliberation, the ad- • Committee has come under some with a four-foot high stage on which believe that the show has the poten- might actually have a chance as the x m ministration had made a move on attack lately for its decision to host tial to become ""extremely danger- Pugsley's thing just doesn't do it for this pressing issue. Unfortunately, B the Spin Doctors on April 2. but The Concert ous'', and that the music the bands you anymore, Splendid just doesn't Fordham seniors and juniors will • the concert for this year's Spring promote is not in faith with the "Je- agree with you, trekking out to the not see this change. "Weekend may make those anti- Committee is suit tradition". The Administration bars in bad neighborhoods no longer While-planning the reconstruc- B Spin Doctors students eat their obviously doing all it does not feel that parents and alumni thrills you. and let's face it, Marriot tion of Queen's Court, they recog- • words. It seems that the headof the would condone such violent behav- never had a chance. Just when you nized a great space which, given an JJ committee heard rumors that a can to break out of ior as ""moshing", and anyone who thought it would be safe here at overhaul, can in fact solve the prob- • handful of those bands commonly its conservative participates in such acts regularly Fordham, the administration is lems and dangers of students drink- • associated .with the popular should be referred to the counselling throwing some news choices into ing at off-campus locations. The • Lollapalooza Tour were interested shell and throw center. While this may have been an your dietary dilemma. No, I'm not administration released one, blan- • in doing a few pre-tour shows to get attempt at humor, the lack of coop- talking about the "open doors" of ket statement: "'we have signed le- • fans hyped, while possibly draw- what is going to be eration and respect received from Dagger John" sand their burger-style gal documents with local establish- " ing in a new crowd. Well, Fordham pretty much a the Administration has disappointed menu. I'm talking about alcoholic ments and the Houlihan's chain • jumped in there and got in touch the Concert Committee and all who beverages and food in the same lo- which grants them space in the • with several of the record compa- campus wide party. were involved in achieving this great cation. A place where they don't basementof Queen's Court. We are m nies and booking agents in order to accomplishment - an accomplish- have your birthdate on record. Can able to allow them the liberties of • find out what kind of shows the to perform, as they hope to facilitate ment that may be snubbed and dis- we say "on campus?" their own discretions, as they are • bands were thinking about. As a massive amounts of brutal "stagediv- carded before Spring Weekend even So, you' ve all heard how Queen' s already established. This is a prob- m result of these efforts, a pre-tour ing" during the different perfor- arrives. We want to know how you Court will beclosedin the academic lem we were unable to avoid with • show will take ptace on Martyrs' mances. The Concert Committee is feel. Please voice your opinion in year of 1993-94. but . you haven't the new Dagger John's. The alcohol • lawn during our own Spring Week- obviously doing all it can to break out the form of a letter and send it to The heard the entire story. Well, you B end. It is not possible to have all of of its conservative shell and throw Ram, Box B. Maybe we'll have a can thank the Ram staff for the latest • the bands' play, but those who will what is going to be pretty much a concert everyone will love after all." entertainment information. As it SEE FOOD/ PAGE 20

Solutions from your Apple Campus Reseller: a full Macintosh line for all your needs. Wre not the only onewhois carrying a lot of units this semester

The new Apple pl Macintosh Color Classic. ' MacmtQshCentris6lO. MacmlosbLClU. Right now, your Apple Campus Reseller has the most affordable new for even morepower, the Macintosh Centris" 610. See these new computers linetfM-featuredMacin^ today at your Apple Campus ReseDer. Where you'll get special student pricing, Color Classic9- a solid[performer at a remarkable price. The Macintosh aswellasserviredunrgTOllegetMex^rienathepowerofMxintosli.^ LC III, which runs 50% faster than its top-sellingpredecessor , the LC II. And, The power more college students choose. The power tob e your best? V. For more information please visit Freeman Hall Room B-4 or contact Frank Borchardt or Student Rep at 718/579-2701 or Anita Anzalone at CUSTOM COMPUTER, 516/822-1400

.Itorintosb failris it a trademark of.\pf>lf Outi/mler. Inc Classic is a n-^iiteml tnuknuirk lkvn.sai to Afl4e Ompukr. Inc. PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal: AIDS and Common Red, McGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Lecture Tackles PAGE 15 Rose? Ethics in SPEAK UP!! Fordham I Gets Own

Hot Spit, a new book with some firey pictures

ByEffieStefanidis tor, is also seen with her famous Following Regina, is Jen Perillo, Then we have our very own Ram potions, she becomes the medical MISSING-IN-ACTION squirrel, who has received world- Arts Editor, striking a seductive Ve- photographer, Sue Youmans, taking temptress. Go Catherine.- wide fame. Kristen said, "I love that nus DeMilo pose, next to a rather pictures of Managing Editor Julie Then of course, we cannot for- It's here and it's in color! That's squirrel, and all I could think about risque David - The Ram's own Mr. DeSantis as she asserts her authority get Christine Many. Christine right, you read about it in the house for my fantasy was him, sol went out wanted to be Madonna for the book ad lastsemester, now it's finally here. onto Eddie!s and met up with him. and steal the show, so we said let You got it - it's Hot Spit. Fordham He was really great to work with." her. We gave Christine a blonde University's Ram Staff has Worked In Hot Spit, we also see Sports wig, some lip liner, and a couple of long and hard to make their own Editors Dan Cahalane and Charlie cigarettes and said, "Go hitchhike rendition of Madonna's Sex. The Baisley wearing tight fitting cheer- on Fordham Road (nude)!" Well, book has just been released at popu- leading uniforms in provocative she did. Christine came back laugh- lar bookstores, as well as most cam- poses. About the pictures, Charlie ing from the event and stated, "You pus bookstores, and the results are said , "It felt great. Finally, I could know, everybody was so nice to me, fantastic. justletmyselfgo. Since me and Dan especially the old Italian men in "Lines wrapped around the cor- are so close, it felt incredible to Little Italy. I made so many new ner at our store", said Mel Black , share this experience with someone friends. The only problem was that owner of a very prominent bookstore so loving." Dan Cahalane, summa- my butt was red, and I couldn't sit (due to legal reasons, we are unable rizing his feelings, said, "Yeah, it down for aweekfrompeoplepinch- to name the store). was fun". ing me." Brian Garrity , Executive Editor ReginaDunican has her very own Sales for the book are through of The Ram, said, "It really was a lot section in Hot Spit, called "The Dic- the roof, and response from readers of fun, and it brought us all closer in tator". This section features Regina has been wonderful. Many have many ways. We are hoping that in dominatrix attire, lashing a whip stated how artistic the book is, espe- other schools will follow suit, and let cially in comparison to Madonna's their newspaper staffs' fantasies come In Hot Spit, we Which one of these lucky Rams gets to play with Tim? book of the same nature. Members true as we did." of the English department have The pictures for the most part also see Sports Hard Drive, Bob Stank. In a candid as The Boss over Tim Wood. "It found the book to be of literary show such staff members as Erin Editors Dan interview with Bob, he said, "I feel felt great to just give him one good genius. Faculty from the Art de- Melody and Sue Youmans with their as if I portray the ultimate com- smack in the ass with that metal partment have praised the photog- cameras and well. . . Although Cahalane and puter God, and David was just the ruler." raphy and the visual imagery as top Madonna did not seem to get much epitome of that." And Bob, the pub- And how could we forget Alicia of the line. Both departments have support for her frolics in a bunny suit Charlie Baisley lic seems to agree. O'Hare, Copy Editor and former sent the book to national college with a dog, The Ram decided to have wearing tight The advertising section features President of Helpline. Alicia, literary competitions for both the their very own 'Father of The Ram', Tara O'Brien and Kristi Daniels dressed in a Devil's costume, di- literature and artistic merits of the Tim Wood, frolicking on Eddie's fitting doing layout (you know what I rects Father Shea into the Hell Pit work. The book is rumored to be on Parade with a Ram. Tim said, "How mean.) In this section of Hot Spit, with all the female Ram Editors as the reading list for all future gender I look at it is I want people to see it cheerleading Tara is a very playful version of the they viciously poke and prod him roles classes in the history, philoso- not as pornographic, but as support- Land O'Lakes girl churning the with their pitchforks, phy and psychology departments. ive. I thought it was quite a. morale uniforms... butter andpouring it on Father Shea, Catherine Sabatos, News Editor With such a book, there is not booster for the school to actually over her male staffwriters. Regina while Kristi Daniels is the ever so and Pre-Med major, is found "play- much left to be said, but it can all be have me interacting with' our mas- told us, "Wow, I felt great. There's seductive St. Pauli's Girl, and ing doctor" in the laboratories at summed up in the words of Assis- cot." nothing I like better than total con- spokesperson for the Jesuit bar. Larkin with Dean Gray (Dean of tant Arts Editor Erin Melody, "Hot Kristen Pettit, our Features Edi- trol." Dagger John's. Student Life). With her mixes and Spit!" Dagger from page 17 IJesuits unable to attend new musical i Place, I Want Your Sex, and Love is aManySplendoredThing. Trie Res Lifers did do a second encore, but our • By Leigh-Ann Curtis mers board with the idea of a joint of the Mimes and Mummers, stated, Auditions will take place in the # source left before then to avoid a * STAFF WRITER production in order to have the show "I'm so disappointed that this con-" fall, with parts for 19 women and 22 • reccurrence of nausea. professionally directed. cept wasn't presented earlier, so I men. There are also a number of * With such a busy staff and such a * Rumors andrumblings have turned The project was applauded by most could have been a part of it." Mike parts for animal actors. Tom Dunn, « varied schedule of performers, it is #into facts, as the Fordham Experi- members of both groups, who felt a Hogan, FC '96, representative for FC '94, Handsome Actor, stated, • no wonder that Dagger John's is only •mental Theatre council and the departure from the norm would draw FET, said, "We're sick of the coffee "We foresee difficulties in procur- * open for several hours each after- #Mimes and Mummers board made an more supporters for both groups. Gene from the machines in Keating, so we ing the goats." • noon. Now that the pub will be open •announcement that they would in- De Maio, CBA '93, former president want to work in Collins." Not all is joy among the village • •deed be co-presenting an as-yet un- to all students, we at The Ram are people, however. There are some m assuming that the entertainment named musical. This is not to say dissidents to be found within both • •that they don't know what musical schedule has been revised, but we groups. Christine Egan, FC '93, • will be sure to update you in the •they are going to present; that infor- FET/Mimes Deity and Official Liai- * mation is being kept under lock and future. son to the NY Department of Trans- • For your own personal interest, •key. However, certain indisputable portation, said, "I find it despicable • 'facts were ascertained: our source did send us an objective that these fine groups are reduced to a • a) there WILL be a nude scene criticism rating for Dagger John's: using shock tactics to attract new* on a scale of four stars being incred- audiences. However, if they need a * b) there will BE a nude scene ible ~ half a star for the food, and good pair of slut boots, my Pippin • negative stars for the quality of the boots are available." Amy Acorn, • entertainment. c) there will be a NUDE scene FC '96, multi-talented Mime, com- * plained, "I don't at all agree with the • Congratulations d)) perhaps several! concept of a nude scene. After all, • to our favorite resident of • (Note: This musical is NOT the sheer sexuality alluded to by a # ,"Hair" or "Oh, Calcutta".) C-5 pair of strategically ripped jeans far • for being awarded the • The idea for this production origi- surpasses actual lack of clothing." * *nated with FET, as evidenced by the As a supporter of both FET and , Fordham University •experimental natureofa musical with the Mimes and Mummers, I've en- • Speed Typist A ward • a nude scene. Concern was generated joyed many stellar performances by * while simultaneously being Jon the part of the FET council that a each. In my opinion, the absence of • awarded a •student director would not do justice costumes will not detract in any way • Pulitzer •to the show. It was therefore decided from the ability of the actors to J for her paper on *to approach the Mimes and Mum- Cast members of the new musical trying to procure the goat present a killer show. • contemporary politics Ciilture [This can't be Duane, this is too much fun

• By Sharon Brennan ritory. Bones is, at present, meeting sphere that Duane Library already Bones, "because people enjoy, for to dance and 21 to drink. Wrist • STAFF WRITER with administrators here atFordham has, so why not take full advantage the most part, to dress up." He does bands as stamps will be handed out at • • ; to discuss the use of Duane Library of it?" He believes that Fordham is not expect the outfits to be as eccen- the door to distinguish between those m D.J. Frankie Bones, one of the as a dance club when the new library a perfect location because it is close tric as in New York, but feels that who are legal and those who are not. • hottest disc jockeys on the Techno is finally finished, Those of you who enough to the city to draw that crowd patrons will soon set their own trends. There will also be a non-alcoholic* • scene, has been looking for a new are familiar with the motif of "The as well as being strategically placed This club would be open to drink bar serving frozen drinks and ^ pet project. Bones, from England, Limelight," one of New York City's closer to the residents of Westches- Fordham students, as well as to the sodas. D.J. Bones and his associates • has had new-found fame with the hottest clubs, will understand why ter and Connecticut, allowing them public, Thursday through Sunday. will be meeting with Fordham offi- • great acceptance of "Techno" in Bones has chosen Duane for his new the opportunity to have a taste of There will be a cover charge, and D.J. cials and the heads of security before , the clubs of New York City. Bones pet project. Duane Library has the New York City night life. Frankie Bones will be making several the semester is over. Administrators • spent his past summer coordinating "There will be a dress code", said appearances. Patrons need only be 18 will only say that nothing is final. J underground "one-night" clubs for • those who wish to experience a new Bones at the present • twist in their night life. The best is meeting with way to describe a rave is to refer to • the "90210" episode where the gang administrators here • was given directions to a designated at Fordham to , area where they traded in an egg for • directions to the club. As the week discuss the use of • drew to a close, the city's youth Duane Library as a , turned to find the latest place to • purchase a ticket and receive direc- dance club when • lions. "Raves" were originally, at a the beginning of the summer, sched- the new library is • uled for once a month, but as word finally finished. • spread, they were happening close • to every weekend. A Rave could style and tradition demanded to cre- • easily gather five thousand people. ate the desired ambiance. The dim J At these Raves there was a strong lighting in certain areas provides the • base of security which made the proper setting for those who do not • nights more enjoyable for every- want to be in the spotlight, and the • one. This is a major accomplish- high ceilings in the entrance area • ment for D.J. Frankie Bones. provide designers with the space • Bones has. been said to have needed for the strobe lighting and a a "accomplished the impossible." fog machine. Bones commented, • Now he is moving to uncharted ter- "People try hard to achieve the atmo-

which also acts as a sound barrier." Food Although the area of Queen's Court from page 18 will most definitely be a central hub of the campus, it will still be able to policy on all other campus areas will attract serious students. The bars be enforced by the current stan- and restaurant areas will be a sepa- CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS CLASSIFIEDS dards." rate entity. These plans of reconstruction SUMMER RENTALS- INTERNS - LOS ANGELES make it necessary for the Student HAMPTON HOUSES/POOL, AND NEW YORK CITY - Deli to relocate, as will F.U.E. M. S. A place where they 3 Bedrooms at $8,200-season Earn college credi t while Arrangements have been made for don't have your and $4,100-altemate weeks, 4 interning at an industry-leading Order Catalog Today with VIsa/MC or COD these student services, as the Deli Bedrooms at $10,500-season and public relations agency will occupy a vacant area of the birtdate on record. In CiW. (213)477-8226 Alumni Court South basement. The SS.SOO-alternate weeks, 1 1/2 representing major film, Or, rush $2 00 to: Hmtnk MkmMm mi.-CPI, WALK TO RR, television and contemporary 1132? Idaho Aw. #206-A. Lot An«*s, CA9002S F.U.E.M.S. base will be moved to a Current sophomores and freshmen BEACH, TENNIS. Call (718) music artists as well as top more centrally located area of Free- and future Fordham students have a man Hall. Eventually, the adminis- whole new night life to which they 295-9637 or (914) 478-5509. corporations. We offer GREEKS & CLUBS tration hopes to move all student will look forward in the future years. students a unique opportunity services to Faculty Memorial Hall. The administration had finally heard INTERNAT1ONALEMPLOY- to learn the PR business first RAISE A COOL The problem of noise was an- the pleas of the student population. It MENT - Make money teaching hand. Interns will assist swered by Vinny DeVito of DeVito is hard to imagine, but picture for a publicists with research, M000 and Montelli Construction, "Since moment, Hieneken and Stolichnaya basic conversational English IN JUST ONE WEEK! writing/editing press release and the need exists, that Queens' Court delivery trucks backing up traffic in abroad. Japan and Taiwan. PLUS $1000 FOR THE Make$2,000-$4,000+per biosvcdordinating photo shoots remain a quiet, study atmosphere, the street between Martyr's and and organizing screenings, MEMBER WHO CALLS! we have taken all the necessary pre- Queen's Courts - on their way out of month. Many provide room & No obligation. No cost. premieres, concert tours and cautions. We will use a special non- campus, they'll drop by Loyola- board + other benefits! No And a FREE toxic, flame resistant insulation Faber! previoas training to teaching special events. If you are IGLOO CQOLER certificate required. For bright, energetic and eager to if you quality. Call 1-800-932-0528, Ext 65 International Employment learn, please call the Human Resources Department at program, call the International Rogers & Cowan, (301) 201- Employment Group: (206) 632- 8856 or fax your resume to NTACTLENS 1146ext.J5149. NO DEPOSIT! (301)201-0206. Unfurnished Apartment in Private House. 5 Rooms, All it takes is a small Group summer Backporch. Located at East with a little energy and a lot of 186th Street and Hughes - Excitement to earn $500 - Conveient for students. 3 $1,000 in just one week. Call storage 230 W. 230th St. Bedrooms, Preferred: Females 1-800-592-212 Ext. 313. Bronx, NY willing to share apartment. If Ipayahle fcv Stti3Nf StA-ZCFS, « (212)562-7418 interested, contact Dora at 365- B^fiO W 6Stn Ave. .Plantation, * special U-HAUL 1844. jnarida 33317 l W-"

Indecent Proposal: Red, PAGES AIDS and Gommoii iMcGannon A Decent Flick White or PAGE 21 Sense Prevention Rose '} Lecture Tackles P^GEIS Ethics in Fordham SPEAK UP!! Gets Own

f Hfc RAM /Thursday. Amil 1.'1993/21 Jodi Shapiro comes out of the closet. I'm a liar!

Oh, the shame of it. As Nirvana rockin' tune! Playing a guitar with a seen God himself at a Melvins show so eloquently puts it, "Oh, the guilt!" chainsaw - why, that's innovative that very same night. Imagine, the Dear readers, I love you all. Each and and incredibly talented! Who do Melvins! Those loud, no-talent out every one of you. I just want to they think they're kidding when they of tune and much too slow musicians apologize to all five of you in the say the Sugar is pure bliss? Or that taking up space in MY column! And most heartfelt and honest way I know Soul Asylum are the best live band? I had the audacity to lie and say they how. Everyone knows Milli Vanilli are were the best band in the universe! I the best live band, they sing all their should tiave been struck down dead own parts and boy, can those guys with heavenly bolts at that! Noise, Lust and dance! . . . I'm really sad that Poison broke New Kids on the Block, Color up, I miss watching the Lawrence Fun Me Badd, and Menudo - oh, the Welk show and my leisure suit has a By Jodi Shapiro dreamy hunks in those bands! They hole in the jacket. I just might cry. put those unwashed long-haired flan- Dear readers, I am relieved to re- nel wearing freaks to shame! The veal these secrets to you. If there is In the past 1 1/2 semesters I've Meat Puppets' Kirkwood brothers one lesson I learned from this, it is not been living and writing a lie. A LIE! have NOTHING on the Knight Oh, it hurts so much to tell you, my Brothers. Take a shower! Cut your faithful public who hangs on abso- hair! Get jobs! lutely every letter I type, every band I don't believe any of you could I praise on their live shows, every think that Elvis Costello is a better record I say "it rocks. Buy it," every lyricist than Michael Bolton. Mike comic I laud, every book I love. It's is sooooo deep! all false. Living across the hall from All the conceits I said I went to a priest has taken its toll on me. I m ust were lies, too. Instead of seeing confess! Alice in Chains, Mudhoney, Mer- Idon't like ANY of the stuff I write cury Rev, and Ween, I was traipsing about. across the country being a Billy Ray None. Zip. Nada. Ze-ro. I just Cyrus groupie. I went to a Whitney cannot stand this stuff, it makes my Houston concert instead of Helmet heart sick just to think about it! Mono and Ministry. Babes in Toyland, Men, Mudhoney, Hum, Das Damen. Jesus Lizard, Jon Spencer Blues Cell. Velocity Girl. Earth, Pond. Explosion, Swirlies, Cows, Flam- Sonic Youth -1 HATE THEM ALL! ing Lips - all lies. I was hanging out Those sick and filthy comics I recom- Beware of twin bands whosehair is longer than yours. with the Spin Doctors. And the most A loose shirt for Mark Arm? mend are liners for my cat box. I you what I really like. I love Barry Mike, John and Justin make fun of heinous crime of all - I went to the to be something you're not I should think Barbie comics are the tops, but Manilow. I love Neil Diamond. Bad 4 Good and Skid Row and Poi- most incredible concert of my life 'be like Bart Simpson (that bratty, I felt compelled to be "cool" and Oooooh, the disgust I felt when those son, three bands I live for. Those when I saw Damn Yankees, the re- bug-eyed TV gadfly. Oh, how I hate mains of the best band of the '80s, • him!) and write it 106 times off the recommend Flaming Garrotr fiends in Urge Overkill destroyed cruel guys make fun of me for Irking Now that I have that off my chest, "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon." Jackyl! Whaddaya mean, Jackyl Night Ranger. In the interest of Keating 1st blackboard. Conformity I can be honest with you. Let me tell Those bastards at The Paper, Scratch, suck? "The Lumberjack" is a great being cool I shamelessly said I had is bad. Boogie to your own beat.

We here in the Culture section of The Ram would like to wish you the best in the rest of your semester, and hope you Need a Hai rcut? Hesitate to smile because find time to read our staff book. HOT SpiT of missing teeth or loose which is available through the office. Lucys dentures? If you would like a copy of HOT SpiT or would like to write for Unisex the ' Culture section, please stop down Hair Stylist to McG B52 or call us at 579.2665 ziNq iN curriNq, colomz'iNq ANCJ PERMS You can have a new smile Cambridge 'Educational Services No Appointment by summer! Call Dr. Richard Kraut at The Dental LSAT Needed! Implant Center of Monteflore Medical Center for a FREE consultation and 2396 Arthur Ave. for information about our reduced fee GMAT programs. GRE 365-6757 (718)920-6266 Call: (212) 866-3283 22 / Thursday. April 1. 1993/ THE RAM

The Game of the Week: Fordham vs. NBC to televise Fordham football instead of N.D.

By Dan Cahalane ball on Saturday afternoons. From the University's pointof view, the possible contract. sight, NBC has hired former W| STAFF WRITER The key to any deal between the the television contract gives the school One former student said, "I could ton Redskins' Joe Gibbs. Thee university and NBC is a move out of incredible exposure. With this expo- not be happier; my Fordham will be versy surrounds the play-by-plj» the Patriot League. sure comes more students and more seen by everyone in this country. It Enberg laid claim to the job,| Citing the fact that Fordham could In leaving the current league, money. simply can't wait." he had four years left on his t possibly move to the Big East football Fordham would resume giving ath- Money will also come in from NBC Fordham officials said they were VNBC officials are looking to| inference, NBC television has begun letic scholarships and thereby improve as the numbers being tossed around for pleased to secure coverage for the foot- another direction. negotiations to broadcast upcoming their talent base. The team would also the rights to Fordham football games ba/1 team, as they had for the basket- It has become apparent thai Rams' games. improve their level of competition. are 4 years, 20 million dollars. ball team. They also said they would would like to hire someone 1 The network's plan, if everything NBC also appears to be in love with Fordham alumni, which some esti- now turn their attention to baseball and with Fordham football. Thena ;an be worked out, would have the idea of controlling the New York mate to be as many as Notre Dame women's basketball. has come up most frequently is ( Fordham replacing Notre Dame foot- ratings on Saturday afternoons. alumni, are extremely excited with Sources in the Notre Dame athletic Shea. department said that Lou Holtz, their Shea is currently a member e head football coach, was livid, and WFUV sports staff, and is seen si went as far as choking the NBC offi- one member of the staff who < cial who told him the news. step into such a position. The new television contract gives Shea said, "I'm excited fo: Fordham the opportunity to use their school, and I'm excited to be wo rich tradition to overtake Notre Dame with Joe (Gibbs). This is a big stej as the most popular Catholic school in me, but I know I'm up to it." the country. At the press con ference to ann Although he would not commenton the move from Enberg to Shea, Enfij the record, former Fordham and Notre attempted to attack Shea in an attej Dame basketball coacKDigger Phelps to vent his frustration. is an avid believer that not only is Later Shea said, "I was surpris Fordham better athletically, but also did that, but, you know, if you m| towers over Notre Dame in all areas. with a man of iron, somebody is go The biggest controversy surround- to get hurt, and it won't be me." ing the new contract appears to be ; NBC appears to be ready to < with the broadcasters. Shea a lifetime contract that paralle In the past, for Notre Dame foot- those signed by Brent Musburger a| ball, NBC used Dick Enberg and Bill BobCostas. Walsh. Walsh has since moved back So, get ready for Shea and Gib into coaching at Stanford and Fordham Saturday, corning int Looking for the same type of in- fall. i» .:•-

UNFORTUNATEO; THIS IS WHERE •4 PEOPLE ARE PUTTING TOO MANY RETIREMENT DOLLARS.

very year, a lot of people make a money you don't send to Washington E huge mistake on their taxes. They works even harder for you. Down the don't take advantage of tax deferral and road, that can make a dramatic difference wind up sending Uncle Sam money they in your quality of life. could be saving for retirement. What else makes SRAs so special? Fortunately, that's a mistake you can A range of allocation choices—from the easily avoid with TIAA-CREF SRAs. guaranteed security of TIAA to the SRAs not only ease your current tax- diversified investment accounts of bite, they offer a remarkably easy •way CREF's variable annuity—all backed to build retirement income—especially by the nation's number one retirement for the "extras" that your regular pension system. and Social Security benefits may not Why write off the chance for a more cover. Because your contributions are rewarding retirement? Call today and made in before-tax dollars, you pay less learn more about how TIAA-CREF taxes now. And since all earnings on SRAs can help you enjoy many ,»** your SRA are tax-deferred as well, the happy returns. .*] Benefit tun? from tax deferral. Call our SRA hotline 1800-842-2733, act. 8016.

4b. IS .

75 years of ensuring the future File photo/It's too good a picture to have been taken by Erin for those who shape it!" With a move to a major conference, the football team would spearhead a movement of Fordham sports on television

tiistrituteiky TIAA-CREF InHmfaal ani Iwtilutumal Services. For men complete information, inciting charge* aniexpenses, cull IS00-W-2733, cxt.SOt for a prospectus. Readlie pmpecttu•carefully before you uitcil orsendmoney. [PAGE 3 Indecent Proposal: OPINION Red, A Decent Flick AIDS and Common White or iMcGannon Sense Prevention Lecture Tackles PAGE 21 R o s e J PAGE 15 Fordham Ethics in SPEAK UP!! r»_ XTT ._ -i Gets Own

THE RAM / Thursday. April 1. 1993/23

Big East will not deter their academic Reaction from around the Fordham BIG EAST standing. community has been nothing but posi- FORDHAM SPORTS In fact, since they joined the Big tive. FROM PAGE 24 East, Georgetown, Boston College, One Fordham alum said, "I love SPOTLCGHT and Seton Hall have all improved their the idea of a move to the Big East. As to the questions concerning academic standing., Now, I can start giving money again." by Larry Myra ' Fordham's ability to compete in the Despite the many steps that appear Of course a move to the Big East Big East, there seems to be little to to be in the works, Fordham Athletic would mean that Fordham would be Mac Jones FC '96 worry about. The last time the men's Director Frank McLaughlin said, "A settling, instead of moving into the team faced off with St. John's and lot of thought went into our move to Atlantic 10 would be more beneficial. Football Seton Hall, Fordham came up with the Patriot League. We are happy The entire Fordham community seems victories. with the Patriot League and are not to think that leaving the Patriot League is the important part of the equation. In addition, sources close to the Big actively pursuing a change." East coaches said they were deeply concerned about Nick Macarchuk's When spring practice begim; in a often looked forward ID his future, and Chris Wielgus' ability to domi- few weeks, an unptecwJeiited addi- Howewr. in (fee spring following nate the conference within, two years. tion wjfi be made la Laity Gluek's his senior football season Mae raft Of course, the move is not being football team. Although Mac Jbnes into some unexpected difficulties. solely made to improve the basketball is a player with freshman eligibility, program. A move out of the Patriot he is aftKtee any of his, counterparts, The Hardships-. League would also improve the stand- ForMacis a THIRTY-SEVEN yeais ing of the football team. old. The firll set back Mac encoun- More revenues, betterfacilities, and Mac played high school football teredoccurred when he tried to bench tougher competition are all factors that far theCardinaf Spellmart Cats in the press 40OIb^. and the weights fell on will improve the football team in the early 19W&. but he was unable to Ms head, He had made the Big East. Plans are to drop Lafayette attend college for Financial reasons. unexcBsable error of not using a and Lehigh from the schedule next This in spite of the fact that he was spotter and he was no w farced to pay season, while adding Miami and Bos- offered 22 division I football the cQRseque&ees. After six facial ton College. scholorships, including the likes of operations. Mac was still ready to When told of the change in sched- Nb&c Dame and Southern Cat. play college baH when he ran into uling and the addition of Fordham, Although Mac's body has aged another brick wall. Miami head coach Dennis Erickson somewhat, the running back, has still In spite of his pro&govis senior was said to be visibly shaken. jgot some spring left in his step. In season, in which he scored 47 touch- There has been some concern about fact, last week he ran. a 4.5 40-yard downs and rushed for 1,800 yards, Fordham's academic standing if they dash for the Fordham coaching staff college recruiters turned their back were to leave the Patriot League. Of- and bench pressed 38Qltw. This exhi- on him after his weightltftimg acci- ficials at Georgetown, Boston Col- Photo by Erin Melody/A self admitted worshiper of Sports Editors bition prompted Fordham offensive dent Tom Osbotua, head coach at lege, and Seton Hall have assured This could be the man to lead the basketball team to glory in a coordinator Kevin Naughton to say, Nebraska, was reported tohav© said, Fordham admissions officials that the major conference if the school leaves the Patriot League, "W?Ve really excited abwt the "I don't want any idiot caring my addition of Mac to out backfteld, t football This guy 1»as the mi&<$ of a don't care bow old the guy is, as long grapefraitr as he runs with the reckless abandon Inspired by this type of negative RETIRING FACULTY: Can You Pass This Exam? "Either you let me play or tit tell people Dept.: Retirement. that you tike playing in the Patriot League." Course: REAP 550—Take Control of Your Retirement SPRING FINAL EXAMINATION that he did for us last week. This- guy criticism Mae became even more can realty move." determined tDplay college football. Question 1: When I am ready to retire, how can I gain the Mac is confident about his future Unfortunately, Mac's father tost all with the Raras program, feyt is his money in n bad business deal and flexibility to: tenative about how he will be re- Mac inpregnated his girlfriend. a) Choose my level of income ceived: by his teammates, A lather of Forced to assume theroJeof aiather, four children, Mae is a bit incredu- Mac confronted his precarious cir- b) Receive lump sum withdrawals at anytime, and lous about how he will fit into the cumstance with equal vigor. Yet, c) Create an estate for my family, college environment. even after his son was born and three 'Tm ready to rolle," said Mac, "I other children, Mac still wondered without making irrevocable decisions? jast' hope my teammates don't get what ha could have done had Jie intitninated by a thirty-sesven year committed himself to football. TO RECEIVE THE CORRECT ANSWER oJef fireball who will do anything it When Mac entered Fordham last takes to win. And I mean anything. fall, as a freshman, he then decided it DO NOT MISS OUR FREE SEMINAR: I eat nails for breakfast and spit them was lime to put thought into action, Date: April 12,1993 out for lunch, I hope my teammates "Jdoa't ewe how oldl am.Iknow are ready to accept this," I tan still play ball. Anyone born Time: 3:30 p.m. after 1970 in my book is a wimp by Place: Dumont Plaza Hotel The Beginning: nature, I'm a throw back to the days 450 East 34th Street when you could fold your helmet up New York, New York Mac received his begming in and stick it in your back pocket" Footballl from his father Mac Sr., Atholtgh Mac encountered some (212) 481-7600 who taught him the fundamentals of difficulty receiving permission to the sport Although his father was a. play from Frank Mctaughlin, he re- stern dtsciplinaran during his youth, fused to take oo for an answer. Itwas it paid

Hasta la VistavBaby! Great Seott Stage set for Fordham to leave the Patriot League St. John's star to transfer to Fordham By Terrence P. Patch Yet, it was not until after the STAFF WRITER Redmen's second round loss to the By Dan Cahalane The plan is to add Fordham and Being a Jesuit University, Boston Arkansas Razbrbacks that Scott de- The future is looking so bright for STAFF WRITER then split the conference into two divi- College could become the biggest cided to announce his furtive plans for sions for basketball while, keeping Catholic basketball game of the entire Nick Macarchuk these days, he just the transfer. only one for football. basketball season, nation-wide. The mighthave to throw on a pair of shades, "I didn't tell coach[Mahoney] until Fordham would join St. John's. battle of New York would extend be- quick! Moments after discovering the the other day. He was real mad but he Amidst all the controversy sur- Seton Hall, Boston College, Provi- yond Fprdham-St. John's to Fordham- news about the Big East's offer to also understood. Fordham's a much ounding Fordham s athletic affilia- dence, and Syracuse in the North Divi- Syracuse. Fordham, Macarchuk received a call better academic school that St. John's ion and a possible move out of the sion. The South Division would con- - The move 65 such a conference from St. John's 6-11, 250 pound jun- and I figured I could dominate more at Patriot League, the Big East Confer- tain the remainder of the basketball would allow Fordham to be scheduled ior center, Shawnelle Scott, who an- this level. I'm also sick of such a short nounced his desire to transfer to Rose ' to play these "big" partner up front[in 6'6 Lamont t Hill next semester. games in Madison Middleton]. I'm looking foward to Square Garden. "I don't know if I should laugh or playing with their two big guys." Garden official cry! It's almost to good to be true." Fordham officials are thrilled with said they were said Macarchuk. 'if Shawnelle can Scott's announcement. Frank happy to welcome meet the academic requirements for McLaughlin could not be reached for transfer, we'd take him in a hearbeat. Fordham back to comment, but Gene Battaglia sports I'm ecstatic. " their arena, while program director at WFUV said, indicating they Although Scotl had a fine season "I've been heared.damnit! My voice were willing to for. the Redmen this season and has has t>een heared. Finally someone is cancel Knick and started since his freshman campaign, listening! Shawnelle baby, lead us all Ranger games to he is incredulous about his future in the way to the "Big Dance' and don't get Fordham in coach Bill Mahoney's program. Scott stop there. I'll never forget my emo- their building. Playing at the Garden is just the "I don t know if I should laugh or cry! Its tip of the iceberg. almost to good to be true. If Shawnelle Fordham has been guaranteed that all can meet the academic requirements for their basketball transfer, we'd take him in a heartbeat. I'm games will be shown on CBS ecstatic," said Nick Macarchuk. television and heard on WFAN, cites his teammates inability to get tional call at last year's game. St. all-sports radio. him the ball in crucial situations as his John's is tough but CM'ON! I love Fordham offi- primary area of concern. Fordham." cials said they "I want the ball more in crunch Shawnelle is a native of Manhattan were . excited time," Scott said. "Anytime a game and a graduate of All Hallows high about playing on was close last season, LeefGreen] school. In high school he averaged 17 television and in would start throwing bricks up from ponts per game and was an All-City Madison Square three. Either him or that skinny kid selection in his senior year. At St. Garden, but they we've got from Spain." John's he has led his team in rebounds would not forget Scott first became interested in for three consecutive seasons with 12 the tradition of the Fordham last season after the Rams boards per game and has placed third Rose Hill Gym. dramatic victory over the Redmen at in scoring with a 15 point per game The most im- Rose Hill gymnasium. average. Scott was named second team portant factor in a "Even though I grew up in Manhat- All-Big East after last season. move out of the tan. I had never heard of Fordham till' Patriot League is Should Scott be permitted to trans- we played them in the Garden fresh- that Fordham can fer he will have to sit out the 1993 per man year/'said Scott. "Still, I thought resume the use of NCAA regulations. However, this does they were from Florida until athletic scholar- not discourage him in the least. coachfMahoney] said we we're headed ships. "The way I look at it, it'll give me to the Bronx for the game last year. another year to get ready for the NBA. Sources close After that game I thought 'Wow, this to the Fordham I can lift alot of weights and then jusi place is fresh. They got that guy who dominate the next year. I'm excited." coaches told The runs around with an F flag and every- Ram that they So, are we. Photo by Erin Melody; a men's basketball team groupee thing!'". Assisted by Jen Pecrillo/ a C William Co« wannabe Were excited Sherwin Content could soon be slammin' on Syracuse instead of Lafayette about all facets of ence has stepped forward in pursuit of conference, including Georgetown, a possible move out of the Patriot Fordham, according to sources within Pittsburgh, Villanova, Miami, and League, especially the athletic schol- the Athletic Department. Connecticut. arships. For more Fordham Many believe that the Big East has In the North Division, the possibil- These sources also said that a move been on the decline, when compared to ity for great rivalries is plenty. Fordham out of the current league would put to sports, please see other conferences around the country, already has a great -rivalry with St. rest any concerns about Fordham in recent years. Adding Fordham to John's and has always played Seton coaches leaving for bigger programs. the conference would give both the Hall tough. That it, until Seton Hall page 14. school and the conference a "shot in dropped us from their schedules. SEE BIG EAST/PAGE 23 the arm."