PETTIGOAT AMBUSH by John Po Burke a Thesis Submitted to The

Petticoat ambush

Item Type text; Thesis-Reproduction (electronic)

Authors Burke, John Patrick, 1928-

Publisher The University of Arizona.

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Link to Item http://hdl.handle.net/10150/318953 PETTIGOAT AMBUSH

By

John Po Burke

A Thesis Submitted to the.Faculty of the

- ' B1PAETMENT OF BEAMA

In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements For the Degree of

: 'm a s t e r o f a r t s

In the'Graduate Gollege

THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA

19 6 3 SafEHBIE BY A1EH0R

This thesis has been submitted in partial fulfillment of requirements for an advanced degree at the University of Arizona and is deposited in the.University library to be made available to borrowers under rules of the Libraryc

Brief quotations from this thesis are allowable without special permission, provided that accurate acknowledgment of source is made© Requests for permission for extended quotation from or reproduction of this manuscript in whole or in part may be granted by the copyright holder®

Copyright by

John Burke

1963 •

APPROVAL BY THESIS DIRECTOR

This thesis has been approved on the date shown belows

John Ac Mills Associate Professor of Drama PREFACE

"Foik comedy** would have caused resentmentg had the term ever been applied to the yarns I heard as a boy* For, both of the fron­ tiersmen who allowed me, in the interest of furthering my education, to be a part of their regular Sunday afternoon audience, thought of themselves, not as “folk, * 1 but as sophisticated men of the world* And indeed, they were well read in the classics, in national events, and in the sciences| they were in their element in the world of the farm and the woods, at ease in the world of business, conversant with the world of the arts, and most eminently successful in the world of the home and hearth, the barroom and banquet table» They would have quickly squashed any folklore enthusiast who approached them with such a patronizing term and would have maintained that the men on the fron­ tier were more knowledgeable, more cosmopolitan,sand even better educated than their grandchildrens' generation is* But if that folk­ lore enthusiast gave the frontiersman full credit, he would have been treated by these raconteurs to an abundance of memorabilia well spiced with joke and moral»

I was between the ages of nine and twelve (they both died within one month of my twelfth birthday), when these two old gentle­ men undertook, over the protests of the ladies of our clan, to make a man of me. They first found me worthy on the day I attempted with more vigor than wisdom to defend Mmyn rose bush from the pruning shears

iii of my maternals French backwoodsman Grandpere, while his crony3 my paternal, Irish, prairie-land farmer, teacher,, soldier, teamster,

Chicago land-speculator Grandpa stood back and laughed0 I found my­ self admitted to their academy the following Sunday afternoono It was their habit in those years to lead an entourage of the men of the clan— most often my father, his three younger brothers, and myself— from saloon to saloon along the Vincennes trail just south of Chicagoo

These rural saloons, a few of which still exist, were even then almost a hundred years old and had been established for the teamsters bring­ ing up merchandise in huge wagons much as the Santa Fe trail traders hado Grandpere would always start the storytelling first, sometimes even as we rolled along in the giant 1 9 3 ^ Buick but most frequently after the men had their first drink of Old Crow— taken neat with water on the sideo

Once embarked, no one save Grandpa or Pa would think of inter­ rupting him; my three uncles, myself and half, or indeed, all the saloon1s clientele existed merely as an audience„ Grandpere put down his glass, one summer afternoon, and'commanded everyone's attention with the gutteral expletive, "Sacre bleuim All heads turned, following the nonagenarian’s concentrated gaae through the open door, to watch a beautiful woman walk toward us from across the street0 The lady was striking not only because of her perfect features and opulent figure but because she was at least six feet in height, proportionately broad in the shoulders, and well muscled= She passed out of sight and Grandpere growled his appreciationo

iv ' "Les femmes! . Such were the womens of yesterday, gentlemens« ly own mothair, she too was thus. Beautiful and grande— big, no? She was not what you call ''built;'; she was ''forged.' She was of steel,

that woman. She would ride to market carrying a full grown sow imda-i-r one arm and a full basket of eggs undair the other, and not drop that sow nor break one egg though she kicked her mule to a gallop all the way. She had twelve children without losing a day's work until I, her unlucky thirteenth son, same and ruined her. You ©an see, gentlemens,

I am a big fellow, no? I some into these world like' a high timbair fire before a north wind and, poof, mamma, she hevair walk again. She call me her 'petit Samson.'1 She had my brothairs construct a wheel chair for use in the cabin, a special saddle for her mule 5 she purchase a twelve foot black snake whip, and with this in. hand she does not stop from to build her land and to command some small attention from her thirteen hard working boys."

It was not until I very recently read that excellent book,

Folk Laughter On The American Frontier, by Mody Boatright (Macmillan, lew York, 1949), that I realized that the image Grandpere drew of his mother was typical of those drawn in the oral and written folk liter­ ature to describe those "lackwood Belles" such as Sal Fink and Mrs ®

Davy Crockett. However,-these traditional folk belles, according to

Boatright, were always described as being not only huge and powerful, but tremendously ugly. Grandpere was too gallant to describe his mother in any unflattering terms: my great-grandmere lives in my memory as a woman whose beauty equalled that of my own mother, an extremely handsome woman. On the other hand, Boatright's chapter on frontier attitudes toward law and lawyers same as no surprise to me. Both grandfathers often expressed a contempt of jurisprudence similar to that reported by Boatright| moreover, they let it be known that they were not alone in this resentment in their own time 6 In fact, after Grandpere had elaborated on his point and had instructed and .amused his listeners for a quarter hour or more, Grandpa picked up his cue and told one of his favorite stories $

"Ah lads, 't was not only the ladies but life itself that was bigger in thim days® Speakin of fires and north winds and all, the grandest fire of them all was the great Chicago fire® When all was dome, there wasn't a bu'ldim stamdim fer miles around save my own mhither's barn. The workmen Game in to rebu'ld the town™there were thousands of them— -and Jim O'Leary put up fifty dollars and I used the barn to open what we knew was most needed, a saloon. We walled off a small part of it and mhither lived that side of the partition while we served beer and whiskey to the men on this side. Seme say, you know, that Jimmie O'Leary's mhither's cow started that fire. Not a bit of truth in that. It was a crock of poteen Jim had fermentin in the barn.

It blew higher than Gilroy's kite and that's what knocked the lamp over, not the cow. Well, we was doin foine in the saloon business®

Now the engineers and contractors and the workin lads swore like team­ sters. But mhither behind her partition, prayed for thim, and not bein in their sight,, she took no insult. All went well until the surveyors and politicians and lawyers got to hoidin forth in the she­ been. Then as- there was no courthouse, without a by yer leave, they

vi began to hold court in that saloon— each trjin to steal the smallest parcel of hew surveyed land offa the other« To end the story, mhither had put up with the vile language, but she couldn’t sit down to a full day of lyin and cheatin* Along about two hours after this arrant law- sharpin began, she rose up and, takim her broom, she cleaned out that shebeen® Whiskey, drunks, lawyers, maps, books, the judge, and myself went out the windows and doors without preference or preferment® 11

And so they went on building in me an appreciation for those older days of simplicity and heroics and sowing the seeds of dis­ satisfaction for these days of civilization— of law and order® I con­ tinued to live in- their world, after they had gone on that grand voyage of which Srandpere had often spoken with indifference, through reading frontier fact and fiction for many years ® Young manhood found me still discontented and I set out to find their world in these times®

Their training had left me a practical man, so I pursued my quest as an organization man, a young executive = As trouble-shooter for a large travel firm, sometimes escorting groups of dudes, sometimes checking tourist facilities, I travelled the Cordilleran geosyneline from the

Athabaska range to Popoeatepet® I found no land of yesterday and finally resigned myself to life in these times.. 1 had meanwhile devel­ oped a desire to bestow on this age some of those joys I had felt when listening to my grandfathers1 stories® I wanted to tell tales of wonder and excitement, tales with a good, strong moral explicit in the action®

My travels along the National Park and dude ranch circuit had further prepared me for this tall tale telling since I had found that one fron­ tier sport still exists in today’s West® The dude wranglers of today, . like yesterday’s cowboy, are still capable of "loading the shorthorn«"

I set out to do the same myself o

With all this material- ready within me, I found that I needed

an approach through which I could give form to mass® One way might

have been to use the modern historian's methods to reject any refer­

ence to either Nineteenth, or Twentieth Century comment on the subject

and seek to find a comic form recorded in the primary historical sources®

The journals, letters, and records of the Nineteenth Century frontier historians and analysts might contain a story line that would be useful

as a comic plot® Since the comic tradition has as strong a root in the past as, for instance, politics, this approach might seem a felicitous

choice® It was rejected, however, on the basis that while these early historians might record a good deal of comic material, they would not give form to it® It was form, not mass, that was needed| I decided to look elsewhere ©

The fiction writer of that era, those who had first hand know­ ledge of the frontier regardless of how sub-literary their works are presently rated, - might be expected to have recorded a version of a typical frontier comic situation sufficiently well shaped to be use­ ful® Such a version would be "fictional" and not perhaps as valid as

"the truth" observed in "real" life by his contemporary historian®

Nevertheless, since the contemporary historian's sources are the same on-the-scene material that is available to the contemporary fiction writer and since both compile their work selectively from this material,

there is no reason to judge the work of the writer to be a less valid

source in understanding their times than is the work of the historian®

viii Moreover5 because literature is a traditional living art form, there is an a priori value in referring back to the literary source just as a raconteur rebuilds the tall tales his grandfather told* The only question was, where in fiction might this comic situation be most profitably sought®

The Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries both provide fictional concepts of the frontier: one or both of these could be used® The

Twentieth Century popular ,T!traditional Western*1 uses a form, or rather formula, which has proven highly successful for its own melodramatic needs and has been successfully used for comic parodies® Parody did not suit my purpose for I wanted to revel in,,not ridicule, the Nine­ teenth Century and it is difficult to lampoon a style without debasing the material used by that style® Moreover,: this formula demands a hollow, monolithic hero, devoid of humor, verbal intelligence, and sexual appetite® My purpose was to draw as broad a picture of the frontier as dramatic ftirm would allowf there was no room for such an all pervading character in this picture© This form was therefore re­ jected and only one alternative was left to be examined© It proved to be more than satisfactory©

The source chosen from Nineteenth Century fiction was the trilogy, Wolfville, Wolfville Days, and Wolfville Nights, by.Alfred

Henry Lewis (Frederick A* Stokes, New York, 1897, 1902, 1902)® This brilliant but little known series =of short stories, told in dialect by the r,01d Cattleman11 narrator with no single incident more than a dozen or so pages long, provided the names of all the characters save one, suggested three of the incidents, gave unity to my concept of frontier language* and most important* showed me how to develop a folk plot—

the comic form for which I had been searching6 The character in

Petticoat Ambush who had no naiae-sske- in Wolfville is Larcena (31 eggo

This,lady is named after Larcena Pennington who lived with her several

sisters and her ring-tailed roarer of a father near Tubac * Arizona all through the Apache wars.

The character of those who people;Petticoat Ambush is not taken from biography or from Lewis; their characters are* naturally* an intregal part of the mew work. The basic situation in Lewis$ trilogy is that of a town run by a vigilance committee (the Stran­ glers Committee) This situation provided a core around which Lewis built dozens of short anecdotes— sometimes two or three to a chaptero

It was necessary to do more than this® I, therefore* enlarged.it to a, town run by a vigilance committee and threatened by the unwanted coming of law and order® \

The moral of Grandpa's story* then* is a basic constituent of my theme and my plot© Boatright authenticates it as proper folk material© In "Folk Laughter *" he states (p. 115)s "It -is a common­ place of American history- that occupation and settlement often pre­ ceded the establishment of legally constituted courts of justice® It is often assumed as a corollary that the frontier was a place of utter confusion* a sort of•Hobbesian state of nature* a war of one against all. As a matter of fact* people who lived scores and even hundreds of miles from judges and attorneys got along remarkably well®" Into

Lewis’ masculine world of simple direct action* a world without courts*

x without lawyers, and without (by their definition) criminals, I intro­

duced the threat of law.and domesticity„.

The particular incidents suggested by the Wolfville series are

the mock duel to make Jenny turn her hand, the:elopement of Toad Allen, and the shooting of Stingin Lizard* As with the basic situation, these were enlarged upon and altered0 .The song, "Jar Away From His Dear Old

Texas," sung at .the, funeral' of. Jack King in a Wolfville ‘story and at the funeral of Ezekiel Boone in Petticoat Ambush, is a genuine folk ballad of the period®• A version under the title, "The Dying Hanger," is recorded with music in Cowboy Songs,;by John and Alan Lomax (Mac­ millan, New York, 1959) < ' >. -

• In the first draft of Petticoat Ambush,the language of Wolf­ ville was a strong influence®, This dialect, rich in colorful phrase, metaphor, and polysyllabic words does not distress the student of

Western or frontier folklore.'It is doubtful that the old-time cowboy was capable of.the linguistic feats that are attributed to him in these fictions and in some of the journals.' of the frontier, but their language most likely came- closer to this reported richness than to the dull, lifeless talk put in their mouths by modern writers® Neverthe­ less, it proved too cumbersome for drama5 it impeded the action and had to be pared away in later drafts®

A more important fault than.overblown language was apparent in this first draft® Although the basic situation (built up from Lewis as described above) was one of conflict,.the conflict was too much a protracted argument over the political.problem® The script lacked three elements necessary to this kind of drama: romance— a clearly delineated love story; action--a positive, physical threat to the good people of Tombstone 5 and characterization— -an ensemble retaining the folk qualities already imbued in them but with some of these qualities modified and new ones added so as to increase their power to interest a modern audienceo For these three elements, I decided to turn to the

Twentieth Century 11 traditional Western," after all,, A pattern for ro­ mance was found in the prototype for these traditional Westerns, Gwen

Vister's The Virginian (Macmillan, lew York, IfQk)„ The Tucson Jenny of the first draft was made over from a Western gal .to a lady in the tradition of Molly Stark; she was given ian Eastern education and a set of scruples regarding, especially, lynchingo. Jack Moore was changed, like the Virginian, to a woman-pursuing prankster® It is, perhaps, difficult to think of the Virginian as a prankster® Nevertheless, that stalwart hero sets the prankster tradition by indulging in such practical jokes as frightening a salesman out of his bed, switching children on innocent parents, and driving a preacher off of his em­ ployer’s ranch; he even wins his position as foreman by telling the tallest tall story® Jack Moore, then, is. in fine tradition when he forces Jenny's admission of love out of his desire to avoid courting her® These general traits were laid on the existent folk personali­ ties of Jack and Jenny which enabled me to develop them and their love story into a more dramatic and interesting presentation®

A pattern of action more common to the traditional Western than the action of The Virginian has the traditional hero ride in, encounter and rectify a danger, and ride out® This popular device was chosen to bolster the already present political struggle between Jack

xii and Jenny® Stern and deadly, this traditional hero is loved by the women and feared and respected by the men. It did not fit the scheme of this kind of folk comedy to change the physical make-up of Cherokee

Hall to that of the full-blooded Anglo— the only species capable of performing this service in the traditional story® In the folk tales

I am accustomed to, heroes often make mistakes and villains are no less dangerous for the fact that they love their mother® Cherokee, in fact, fails to ward off the danger he encounters and those who prefer the traditional Western can comfort themselves by attributing this to his taint of Indian blood and gambling® Nevertheless, in most respects, he is patterned after this traditional hero® He thus serves to take the strain of performing heroic action off the more central and intel­ lectual hero, Jack Mooree This allows Moore to perform his function as a folk comic with greater believability® Jenny presents the threat on the intellectual level and Clegg and Stingin Lizard advance it to the level of physical danger» On this level Cherokee is able to re­ solve the danger and bring the balance of power to a new status but fails to do any more® Here, Jack takes up the battle again on the intel­ lectual level® He wins over Jenny in their male-female battle, he does not acquiesce to her demand for propriety in courtship and she accepts the buek-squaw system. But he loses the political argument and Tomb­ stone, in a sad-happy moment, is reduced to law and domesticity.

These, roughly, were the steps I took to bring me toward my goal of telling a tall tale® I had proposed at the start to use folk literature, oral and written, and this proved to be a happy decision®

I used one other guide aside from these sources® I remembered, always,

xiii that 1 was telling not jmst a story, hnt a tall story@ Ihis resulted, in the use of numerous primary characters and three subplots® It also accounts for that quality of Petticoat Ambush which, with due modesty,

I admire to call its "opulence DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Sam Enright ««,««, »He-oo©n of the Stranglers. Committee, he is known to be too sadden but not. often wrong»

Sector Cadwallader Peets o.. <> .The best eddieated man in the Southwest..

Billie Bowlegs «. «A Tombstone citizen in good standing* this drmmkard nevertheless presents a ponderous problem.

Jaek Moore .....He does the rope and gum work for the Stran­ glers .

Tacson Jenny 0 0 .0 .Her Eastern education doesn't keep her from getting her man.

Save Tutt ...... Who is admired for his bravery in courting Tucson.

Cherokee Hall .....His kindness and sagacity come to live in the memory of Tombstone.

Far© Nell .....Her heart of gold becomes a legend in the Old West.

Snzanha Wilkins .....She asks for help from Tombstone and under­ standing from Cherokee and Faro.

Stingin Lizard .....His death would be a relief to an already overburdened humanity.

1 Abigail Glegg oaaooAs a child, she scouted Apaches for her scalp takia’ Maw»

Toad Allen »a a»A pinfeather shorthorn9 he loves Abby and defies her Pap»

Benjamin Glegg ».,oHe loves both of his daughters but flies in the air at the name "Toad Allen,,"

Larcena Glegg o.»oHer matter-of-fact courting manners land her a man* ■

Aaron Green, Esq«, Attorney at Law ...oSiaee the last big flood on the Pecos, nothing has been so muddy or so much as Easy Aaron’s ©rations.

Preacher Beecham »••.He- nearly meets his maker®

Shortarm ....He tends bar in Faro’s "Red Bog Palace." AOT ONE

-I* *s dawn at they:Bed Dog Saloon© Birds are heard singing out of doors and a distant ©oek crows © This Tombstone saloon is essentially richly"furnished| it is not, however, of the crystal ch&ndelier-red plush opulence which will come with law and order in the following decade, the 00*s. It has, instead, an earlier brass and mahogany opulence as is recorded in James M. Sessions8 watercolor, t?The Shooting of Wild Bill Hickok©*1 Two customers are at the bar* .Jack Moore is a good sized man of about forty years of age© He carries himself well and his mature and rough features are attractive* He is the administrative arm of local justice though he wears no badge and carries only one gum rather high em his hip© His much younger companion, Dave Tutt, often assists him in the. performance of his self-appointed duties® Dave8s more ornate Stetson and boots and his lower slung two gun rig contrast with those of Jack and the rest of the men of Tomb­ stone and almost discermibly foreshadow the coming of a genera­ tion of cowboys whose silver and leather will be more to be reckoned with than their rope and lead©. He is an obvious dandy yet no one with an eye for potential danger would bother this boy* These,two men are concentrating their full attention upon their morning glass of two fingers of Valley Tam* Shortarm— a name sometimes used to label a gent of short stature and reach and sometimes a gent of the opposite build— Shortarm, the bar­ tender, is going about the business of readying his stock, for it is already first drinks time of the morning * None of these gents seem to feel obliged to entertain.one another* The peace and serenity of the moment are as opulent and masculine as the mahogany and.brass of this room8 s fittings ® Indeed, the per­ sonalities of these men and of this room seem to be completely interwoven® There is a settled and square look about them* Simplicity dominates in the structure of the architecture of both, yet the bar is burnished and the silver inlaid spurs shine* There is am incongruous appearance of order and dis­ orders hair is uncut but manners, ugly ornot, are precise| furniture is broken, cracked, dehydrated, but floor, table and bar are clean* There is a double swinging door and a high panelled window which ©pen a good deal of the perch to view* On the opposite wall, there is a side door— a kind ©f family entrance® Along this same wall, leading to rooms above, five or six stairs and the landing at the turn of the staircase are visible * There are some small tables, one large oval table, and in a prominent position, a faro table * Bright sunlight streams in adding color and life to the serenity of the moment © ’

/ 3 k

There is a crash, a woman® s scream, and the noise of a wooden door smashing and splintering easily under weights The sound of a woman's high heels running over the wooden sidewalk brings Jack and Dave to their feet® They reach the swinging doors just in time to be obliged to leap aside as Billie Bowlegs comes crashing into the room® Bowlegs, a huge, black bear, is pursued by a small, broom wielding, young lady, Tucson Jenny® Her manner of carrying herself, her sharply . chiseled features, and especially her habitual prim facial expression suggest that she is either a woman of firm convic­ tions and determined self assurance or that her corset is too tight— or both. Withal, she is extremely handsome and when she speaks, her voice is so melodious, and her manner is so genuinely.accommodating that it is immediately apparent that . she presents a paradox« Further developments will reveal that her harsher traits of strength, prudence and self-reliance are deepest rooted and will emerge in their fullest strength when— in the solid comfort of marriage wherein her personality will completely evolve— she gives birth to a childe In short she is a woman of whom any man, romantic or practical, might become enamouredo

Billie Bowlegs scampers desperately around the room® Caught about his head, half blinding him, is a short clothesline • entangled with the young lady's frilliest underclothes« He rushes down stage, turns and rears up on his hind legs arms outstretched completely hiding the girl from view® He goes back down on all fours and races around the room® Tables and chairs fly as if leaping away of themselves in an effort to avoid the monster”s unheeding rush ® After one such bout with a table, Tucson is able to snatch one or two of the garments from- him, examine them with anxiety, and react i© Jack's delighted guffaws and her own need to laugh and cry simultaneously by whacking Bowlegs again® Bowlegs takes refuge, thereupon, be­ hind the bar but Jenny's enthusiasm is not to be one whit deterred by the sanctity of that haven of barroom brawls® She follows him, traps him in a corner and her broom rises and falls on her unseen victim® Throughout all this, her ferocity has been more fearful because it is tight-lipped§ she has not uttered a sound®

Dave

(Unable to contain his anxiety for Bowlegs») Don't hurt him® Please, Miss' Jenny, don!t hit him no more®

Jenny

(Still swinging ®) Brute of beast» Clumsy thief» 5

Jack

(Mho till this point; has been laughing heartily.) Hold up there, Tuesoiu (He goes Wh i n d the bar, picks her up and carries her away from her victim.) Whoa, Tucson, ease up there.

Jenny

Turn me loose® Let me go.I say; I'll nail his hide to the storeroom door— -if there is any deer left®

Have

Gosh, Miss Jenny whatever did Billie bowlegs do?

He raided my storeroom, that's what he did® (Whirling on Jack who ' has hardly had time to react to this.) Don't you laugh Jack Moore! A month's work of canning and salting, a fresh side of beef butchered just yesterday, all of it on the floor and that * . . waddling mon­ ster wallowing in the middle of it® You're responsible for that bear, Jack Moore. , . ; . ■ ■ "■ : . . ■ Jack

(In innocent mock seriousness.) Oh no, Tucson, Billie Bowlegs don't belong to me® Billie's an ordinary free citizen of Tombstone.

He's free, that's certain® He's too free with my larder and my laun­ dry® I want that bear arrested.

Bowlegs who has been following the last portion of the con­ versation from behind the bar, with only his head and fore­ paws visible, drops Out of sight behind the bar®

lave

Arrested? Aw shucks. Miss Jenny, Billie ain't done nothin' that bad®

Dave Tutt! And you pretend to be my beau. Bo you expect to take me on a picnic Sunday?

Dave

Yes ma-am, I do® I want to take ya. fhen defend, me not the. bear or else take the bear!

lave ,

(Subdued.) Yes’m.

Jack fueson, we can't arrest a bear*

He 9 s a free citizen of tombstone!

Jack

Yes* but v * ® he's a bear®

You are the sheriff of this town?

Jack

You know I ain't rightly the sheriff; I just carry out the needs of the Stranglers Committee® I'm sort of ® ® ® V .

Your "Stranglers Committee" does set up to protect the town the .crimes of any of its citizens?

Jack

It dees®

Then leek up that bear!

She points without looking directly toward Bowlegs who has appeared again® Again he

Jack

Bowlegs spends most of his time here in, the Bed leg. He'll be on hand. 7

(She gees to the doer*) That bibulous rum-sot had better be here when I get back and the Stranglers Oommittee, too. I ’ve got to elean up that mess and get Carmen started with breakfasta

Jack

You want the Stranglers Committee'to call a meetin?

I do® And meanwhile, you all stay clear of the G® K* Bestaurant®

Dave

You wouldn’t hurt lowlaigs, Miss Jenny,

Jenny

(Although she is angry and earnest, she can see the humor in her dilemma®) Dave Tutt, I ’ve been in Tombstone three months trying to quietly run a restaurant business® I ’ve seen men beaten up, shot up, and hung up® I, myself, have been playfully lassoed by Bemees and jokingly lied to by fifth-rate raconteurs . . * „

Jack

(Innocently pious in answer to her allusion.) I abominates liars®

(Continuing to explain to Dave®) The streets are turned into shoot­ ing galleries or stoek-pens regularly and without warning, and the town is filled with every kind of practical-;]©ker® At first, it was exciting— but lave. I’m tired®

Jack

The boys don't mean any harm,

Dave

Jack and me does our best to keep ’em off of ya.

Maybe you do, but not Jack® 8

Jack

(Innocent again.) Why, Tucson Jenny«

Jenny ,

You're the biggest buffoon of them all, and I wouldn't be surprised to find that you put Billie up to robbing my larder*

Jack

(Laughing.) I didn’t, I swear.

(Very suspicious and angered by his laughter.) Well, the bear is going to pay for it, anyway. And what is more, I ’m going to put a stop to all this nonsense and violence.

Jack

(Still very amused.) Sure thing, Sis. But how are you gain to do it.

(In icy tones.) Stop calling me "Sis." You just see to it that the Stranglers Committee is on hand. And tell them that I don’t like the way they’ve been running this town, and I ’m going to change it.

Jack

I ’ll tell ’em, Sis.

(At the door.) David, I ’ll need somebody to get that side of beef back on the hook. I should make Jack help me but I can’t abide him when he calls me Sis. Oh good morning, Nellie.

Fare Hell has just a moment before come quietly down to the landing at the turn of the staircase. She is the owner and manager of the led Bog Palace and she has long considered herself "one of the boys." She is hard faced and only coarsely attractive yet her profession has given her a heart of gold. Nellie is,dressed in a manner that reveals her to be the owner of this frontier establishment and the daughter of a man who owned many similar establishments. Yet,, her clothes also affirm that she is, withal, a lady. Hell

Hernia, Jea» You and Jack fightin again?

Jenny

I can1t talk now, Faroe Are you coming, Dave? (She goes, confident that Save will follow«)

: ' Dave .

I ’m eomin. Miss Jennyo (He downs his drink and hurries to the door=) M o m i n Faro« . -

Hell

M o m i m a

Jack

Dave! (Dave turns at the door®) You jump too quick for Tucsono

Dave >’

I got to, Jacke I'm courtin of hero I got her in my bones»

Jack

Then the only way to get her out is to marry hero Yer goin to be alone with her now0 Why don't you ask her*

Dave '

(Irritatedo) I cain't ask her in no storeroom= It ain't romantico I gotta goa (He exits®)

Jack

M o m i n Faro®

Hell

Mornim Jack® Good m o m i n Shortarm— land sakes Billie Bowlaigs, yore tremblin like a sinner about to meet his maker— whatever for?

Shortarm

That's just what he figures is goin to happen soon as Tucson Jenny gets.back here® 10

Jack fueson eauglit him red handed raidin the storeroom and chased him here after his scalp0

Hell

That was the ruckus that woke me up? Give Billie a B-B special on the house Shortarm— -he shorely needs a bracer®

Jack

(Putting down a coin®) Second drink is on me* He’ll need two®

Shortarm ' .

Here you be 5 you misfortumate misereeant® .•

He pours about four fingers of rum into a large tumbler and adds two cubes of sugar® Billie rises from behind the bar, takes the glass between his forepaws, puts his snout into it and sucks the drink up in one powerful and loud inhalation ® As quickly as he finishes the first drink, he hands back the glass and, with the easy speed of a professional bartender, Shortarm refills it, returns it and Billie inhales it® Their movements are rhythmical and casual and though Jack and Nellie are, as ever, amazed they are met surprised®

Billie, you is the ©mdoubted eonsoominest drinker in the territory® Sassiety would have suffered a loss if Tucson had done you in®

Jack

©h Sis makes lots of fierce noises but she wouldn’t hurt Billie®

Hell

Why don1t you stop play-aetin?

Jack

Play a©tin?

Hell

Gallia her ’’S i s ” and pretendin all you want to do is be her big brother® Every other gent in this camp is runain after her and you wants her more’n all of them ® ® ® 11

Sam Enright, Dee Peets and Dave eome in through the swinging doors« Sam Enright is the he-eoon of Tombstone® About sixty wrinkles on his horns, he is tough minded and very conscious of his civic duty® His dress is completely practical but betrays him as a man of considerable wealth® He wears a single Colt kb and though it is obvious he would not be able to draw it fast, he would neither be expected to miss on his first shoto His dour personality has earned him the reputation of being the Southwest1s most eminent grouch but he is, nevertheless, revered as a .shrewd judge of public disorder and the preventives,thereof® Doctor Cadwallader Peets can as easily be provoked- into putting a bullet into a man as taking one out. Elegantly dressed, his clothes are Eastern except for his hat and boots® He is prone to sit back and observe life as if it were a form of entertainment. His fifty years of age and decadent past sit heavily on him and suggest to the perceptive observer his reasons for withdrawal« Enright enters first and goes immediately to Billie Bowlegs®

Enright

Bowlaigs, Billie son, did that female git yore scalp? Here, Shortarm, pour Bowlaigs a drink® I can see he had a harrerin experience® Howdy Jack® Mernin Faro Nell® ;■ .

Jack

Mornin gents ®

' Nell

Mornin Sam, mornin Doc ®

Doc

Miss Nellie, your dark beauty is like a ray of sunshine on this heretofore cheerless mornin®

Nell

Thank ya, Doc® Sents I ’m goin back upstairs® I got a guest and I don’t want you boys wakin her with no more ranikabo© riots, ifn you*Id oblige me®

Dave

A female guest?

Nell

A pretty young gal® She drove in yesterday with my new partner® 11

©©0 %

Hew partner? You’re full ©f--'surprises Miss Nelliea I didn't see anyone ©erne into town yesterday„

- - Jaefe-

Me neither»

• Nell

Hew would you? Yesterday bein Sunday that-a-way, a troop of cavalry could ride through town and you passel of Saturday night deebauchers would sleep through it» I'll bring the lady down soon as she wakes up 0 (She goes to the stairs«) Oh, Jack* I'll bet you don't fool yer "sister" very long* (She goes*) . -

. Enright

(Mysteries, or any kind of pettifoggery, always reduce Sam to a grumble®) Sister? You ain't get no sister. What's she talkin about?

Jack

Just bein a female. Did Dave till you about Tucson and Billie?

Doe

Me, Miss Jenny made, her wishes plain to us, herself,

Dave

What's she goin to do to Billie?

That gal keeps this camp in a fever; somethin's gotta be schemed to settle her. Gents, the Stranglers Committee gotta have a meetin right now, Shortarm, fetch the drinks, I declares the committee in session.

all cross to a large oval table.and take their customary places for this represents the only court of law in the camp, Shortarm brings a bottle and glasses® Billie follows and takes his place on the floor beside Dave's chair®

Jack

(Amused,) Tucson Jenny sure was upset, 13

Earlght .

(In a very admonishing tone— he is, after all, a sixty year eld bachelor®) Jack Moore, a gent does well to take females serious— and fuesoH., specially®

Jack

I reckon bein serious about Miss Jenny is one of the few things that you and me don’t agree on, Sam® What can Tucson do to us?

Doc

I suspect that the young lady is counting on the power of her popu­ larity o o ® the guns of nearly every man in townc She wants to hold elections and do away with this committee altogether0

Jack

Even if she has got five hundred cowpokes and miners trailin after her they ain't goin to listen to her about polities®

Enright

Wall saebbe yore right® Tucson ain' t playin a real winnin hand® We're the law in Tombstone and the men in this camp ain't goin to buck ms off on her say so®

■ ' . Doe

Theitown versus Tucson Jenny? Ho fight at all®

Enright

It won't be ifn we stick together®

Dee

There are two gents in town who'll back her® Preacher Beeehaa ® » ®

Jack

And the lawyer, Easy Aaron®

Which that preacher won't give us no argument® 14

Jack

Easy Aaron wills The one thing he ain't is "easy," He's been waitin for a chance to get in some law practicing

Enright

I'm agin ita Ifn he starts practicin law, I'll run him out of town-— make him change his geography a whole lot 0 This session were called to scheme on Miss Jennyo. How are we, goin to hobble her®

Doc

The only way, is to get her married0 .

’ y Enright' . ...

Then we gotta do that® Dave you been courtin that gal for nigh onter the hind hocks o' the third full moon® Yer slow, boy*

There are several shots fired in the street and two men dash in the main door seeking refuge ® The committee takes cover as a third man enters even more frantically® In fact, there is no similarity between the demeanor of the first two men and the last ® * Cherokee Hall and Stingin Lizard enter.hurried­ ly and bump and curse one another® But neither man is panic- stricken as is Jonathan Beecham, a frontier cleric who is small and weasel-like in size and voice®

Cherokee Hall is a tall slim, steel-eyed gent with high cheek­ bones , a quiet cat-like walk, and shoulder length hair® The last three features are all that there is about him that suggest the reason for the.appellation, "Cherokee®" His steel blue eyes and supreme confidence attest him to be a first class Western gentleman as. well as a formidable man to deal with® His quiet, good manners, however, overlay this basic strength and tend to lead others to underestimate him and find themselves in the' coils of error®

Stingin Lizard is a huge, awkward bully of a man® Roughly handsome, his scarred face frequently carries a scowl® He has no sense of his own boorishness and no desire to control his temper or curb his malevolence® Nevertheless, while he was at no time a tender-hearted person, he was able in one brief and recent affair to quietly accept love without ran­ cor® This passed and the more permanent effect of the Civil War and the many years of post-war fighting in the border state of Missouri reclaimed his spirit® Following elosely on the heels of Preacher Beeeham i@ .Ben­ jamin Glegg and, a moment later thromgh the side door, his daughter, Larcena Gleggo Glegg is a n ,old man and has lived in the heart of the Apache country for twenty, bloody years« He wears a long, dirty, white beard, buekskin clothing, a huge hat, and he is armed like one of Quantrille1s raiderso His daughter is almost as frightening in her appearance as he is in M s . She is a very large young lady and although she wears a cotton dress, the skirt is hitched up on each side so as to reveal buekskin breeches» Over this she wears a gumbelt rigged with knives and scalps and pouches*

Cherokee Hall and Stingin Lizard dodge for safety into the bar*. The Committee scatters and prepares to take cover. Preacher Beeeham runs in, stops at the swinging doors, aims a small pistol out the door and shoots. He tries to shoot again but finds his pistol empty. He looks out the door, screams in terror, throws his gun up in the air and in one flying leap, dives, heeis up,over the bar, :

Beeeham

(After he has got off his first shot*) Step him* The devil®. He’ll kill me© A servant of the Lord, He’ll kill'a servant of the Lord Christ® . ■ ;

Glegg enters and shoots once at Beeeham as he disappears over the bar© Cherokee Hall disarms Glegg® :

Hall

You locoed, old man? Shootin at a preacher?

Hun him out here an’ give him a gun© I ’ll larn him to respeck the sacred wrath o’ an irate father®

Lizard

(Pulling Preacher into the air and offering him a pistol as he laughs,) Ha ha hat Preacher, git out there and fight like you was a man® <• (Pushes a gun toward him but Beeeham backs off®)

Enright

(Moore and Enright pull their guns®) Hold on you-all© Put up those firearms© Laroena

(Entering through, the side doors.) No, yon-all hold on, Ion put up yore fararmse Stop yore gapin an* drop 'erne

Keep 'em all covered datter® Now gents,., they ain't nothin more irri- tatin to my datter than someone pesterin her pap. It sets her trigger hand to twitohin.

Dave

No Tombstone gent would ever draw on a lady.

Lareena

(Eyeing Dave demurely.) Me a lady? Thanks, mister. Say, yore mighty pretty.

Dave blushes and these two continue to exchange glances and smiles throughout the scene. "

Glegg:'

Gome out from behind that bar, you sniveling black-coated disciple of the devil. '

He starts to go behind the bar but comes back rapidly as Bow­ legs rises onto his hind legs and comes out, forepaws raised in surrender. Lareena levels at Bowlegs but Dave leaps in front of her.

Dave

Don't shoot, ma-am. He's got his hands up high as he can reach, lowlaigs git over thar and stay onder cover. Quit tremblin; fer a Texas bar, you are shorely a coward.• Hyer have a drink. (He hands Billie a bottle.)

Lareena

Air thet bar yorne, mister?

Dave

No ma-am, he's his own. Larcema

You shore are p 1 Ixte„ mister®

Glegg

(Who is dragging Beecham from behind the bar,) I ast before and I ask agin, did yon promise that Allen feller that you1Id splice him to toy datter Abigail?

' Beecham .

It isn’t my place as a Minister of Sod to divulge such personal in­ forma o s o \ .

Slegg

I ’m askin you nice!

Beecham

Yes— yes I did,

Glegg

Where are they? When is they acorain to be wed?

Beecham

Mr, Allen didn't say, I swear, by Jehovah, I. didn't make any assign nation with him for today or any day,

Slegg

Well they cain't get wedded till they finds you, so I ’m goin to keep you corralled till they come ahuntin you, (Glegg pushes Beecham across the room where he falls at Lizard's feet,) .

, Enright

Hold on there old greybeard. Who are you and however do you come for to push folks around in Tombstone?

Glegg

I ’m Benjamin Glegg and my spread is on the Tres Hermanes; which down thar, I ’m king. Enright

Yore a furrin. king up yere, Ben Glegg.

Mebhe so, but this instanter I* m rulin Tombstone * s roost @

Enright

How so?

(Pointing to Lareena»)..Which thar be my army to make it s©§ same as any fust rate furrin power, 1 advances my int*rests with sagacity and guns. . ;

Enright

This yere invasion yore comin down onter Tombstone with ain’t needed;, you’ll get more help here ifn you come in friendly0

Sir, Tombstone’ll have to forgive an ole father whose fav’rite datter' been sedishusy.stole awaye I sees we’re among friends; lower yer weapons, Ears’ny„ (Larcena has moved in on Dave Tutt and to his consternation.has been ogling him and generally flirting with him in her own fashions Glegg now perceives this's) Larcena! Stop pes- terin that gent; where’s yore manners gal?

Larcena

Shucks, Pap, I ’m jest lookin him over to see ifn he’s worth marryine

You stop lookin right now. I lost Abby, 1 ain’t gonna lose you. You see gents, I ’m simply a hayressed parent tryin to herd his errant offspring through life’s veeoissytoodes♦

Enright

Who is this sport who stole your other daughter? 19

Glegg

That Toad SLlen’s a slippery pinfeather kinda feller. He came lei- terin out o' Tucson an’ set himself up a minin claim in a box canyon twixt here an* my spread0 Then he comes afloatin over frequent-like aromanein my oldest gal Abigail.

Enright

How did he spirit off with your defenseless daughter?

Glegg

Abby defenseless? (General laughter from Gleggs.) That Toad didn't spirit off my Abby; Abby done spirited off that Toad.

Hoc

If the lady went of her own free will, how is.it you are trailing her?

Cause she didn't go of my own free will. Since my old woman dies, gents, Abby has been the world an' all to me®

Hoc ' '

(Sympathetically bringing Slegg back from his reverie.) Your wife is dead, Mr. Glegg?

(In solemn reverenceo) Shore! Been out an* gone these two years. She's with them eherubin in glory., And, gents, you oughter seen my wife to ©mderstand my loss® Twenty years now Apaches has been lepin past our ranch® You-all recalls when they pays twenty-five dollars fer Injun scalps in Tucson? My wife is that thrifty in them days that she buys all her own and all the young-uns clothes with the Injuns she pots and skelps®

Have

(With great awe®) She shore musta been the most meteoric married lady of which history says a word. (He now eaptmres hii i*apt amdienee with his hushed tones and wet eyes.,) My little Abby’msed to scout for her maw. "Yere comes an­ other!" Little Abby would holler,, stampedin up all breathless, her childish face all aglow. With that, my wife Would take her hands outen the wash-tub and snag - that Apache with her little old Winches­ ter, and quit winner twenty-five dollars right thar. (He draws out his red handkerchief and wipes his eyes.)

Enright

(Very impressed.) Which 1 don’t marvel you mourns her loss.

There are silent nods of assent from the others and heads are bowed in wonder and respect. Stingin Lizard, who had been waiting for such a moment, quietly picks, up Preacher Beecham and drops him into a barrel. Cherokee Hall is the only one who observes this maneuver. Lizard then kicks over a chair so that it blocks the doors and with a whoop and a shout, runs out of the saloon and shoots down the street.

Lizard

Oooh Coop! There goes the preacher.~

There is general confusion. Lareena tries to run out the same way she came in, but runs into Enright and Jack who are heading for the front. Glegg runs to the front and ■ clashes with Lizard who is coming back in.

- Lizard

1 tried to down him,,old man, but he . . . 1

Git outa my way . . .

Git ahholt of him; he’ll plug that preacher sure.

.They all rush out leaving Stingin Lizard with Beecham still in the barrel. Lizard pulls the preacher roughly from the barrel as Hall re-enters unobserved.

Lizard

O' Gome on you eriagin sky-pilot, git out of there. Beeeham

Ok thank yom, bless you® Have they gone? That feroeious woman!

Lizard

(Pushing him toward the side door®) I got your horse and buggy ready at the eorrala You got enough sense to drive'out to Sam Enright's ranch?

Beeeham

I know where Mre Enright's big house is but why should I go there.

Lizard

(Brewing his gun,) low you listen close, preacher-man; I'm the Stingin Lizard and my spit eats holes in solid rock and I can freeze terror permanent into a man's face with one angry glance. That gal who scared you is goin to seem like home and momma when I git through domineerin over you,

■ Beeeham

My Gods protect me. What do you want of me.

Lizard

Toad Allen was my partner. Helped me to locate my claim, I owes that claim to Toad and I'm gonna pay my debts with you, low you git in that buggy o' yourn and hustle out to Enright's place,

Beeeham

Does Mr, Enright expect me?

Lizard

He don't expect nothin. But his ranch is an asylum for anybody and Old Man Glegg eain't touch you there.

Lizard sees that Hall is present. He pushes Preacher Beeeham into a corner and faces Hall belligerently.

Lizard ■

What do you want, longhair? 22

Sail

Which I'm waitih fer Faro Well to come down0 Sowmever* I could re­ mark, not meanin to show any onnatural interest in another fellah's play, how slick that little strategem o' yourm got carried, off.

' Lizard. -

Not meanin to all'ow mo onnatural interest in any play of mine, I remarks: jest what are you alloodin to?

Hall

Why yore kindly emancipation of this sky-pilot in the interest of the fortheomin connubial arrangements ®

Lizard

Whatever unhappy circumstances yore prattlin about don’t concern me, Longhair® I resents appellations like "kindly" and to edify you further, I ’m ©nf©rtunately constituted® Onless I have fightin trouble at reasonable intervals, it preys on me.

Hall

No need to gaze on me that-a-way® You can set down a stack on it, you ain’t goin to pull on no war with me®

Lizard ' ■ -

Mayhap I didn’t make my meanin clear to yoremidgin of a brain® I ’m the Stimgim Lizard and I craves excitement like other folks does food and likker. And I takes a strong dislike for gents that comes nosin inter my affairs® Speshully gents that’s cowards®

Hall

(Looking at him eooly®) That's yer right®

' ■ : Lizard

(Posturing into an even more threateningly gun-slinging position®) Which returns me to ask: what sky-pilot? ; . . .

Hall;

(After only the slightest pause®) Which, I'm obliged to reflect that I cain't recall no sky-pilot® None whatever. Lizard

(Smiling ia.-victory) Now here I go onsatisfied without a fight again. This,camp is shorely deevoid of folks willin to eimertain a gents

Hall turns and walks across the room and out the door without exchanging another word ,or'looks Lizard pulls leeeham toward the side door. _

Lizard - ,

Gome on, preacher, You git out to Enrightes, I'll bring the weddin couple out about seventh drinks time this mornin,

. Beecham

But why don't you come out with me now?

Lizard .

Ifn the Stingin Lizar^ rides herd on a weddin he does it in Missoura style* which is big and proper® I gotta arrange for other details like, a weddin present® Which there's a poker game set up right now and you're keepin me from it® Now git®

Beecham

Wait, wait, I know I'll never make it out of town® That Glegg girl .

Lizard

Come on, I'll take ya to Enright's side road® Hustle, I hear them eomin®

Lizard and Beecham exit through the side door as Hall, En­ right, Doe, Jack, Dave, and Shortarm enter through the front® They are all talking at once, calling for drinks and ques­ tioning the quick and total disappearance of Beecham®

Enright

It's another case o' the Lord Garin for his own® Shortarm,, set up the drinks! . •

Dave

It's spooky, that's what it is®. It's a bad omen® This'll be a bad day for Tombstone ® ... (fo Hallo) Hot to stand upon eoremony, air) will you join us in a morning libation?

■- Hal l

Mhioh I finds that friendly«

Enright

What name might a body use to alloode to you, sir, mine bein, Enright?

Faro Nell has quietly descended the stairs and watched them from the landing as is her habit.

. . . .Nell

(From the stairs,) Allow me to make the introductionso

Enright - • , . .

Howdy, Faro-Hell} come, along, it's second drinks time of the mornin,

Nell

(She joins them*) The Red Bog Palace will make my fortune, if you boys keep on with your ways, (She explains to Cherokee®) First drinks time of the morning is six o'clock, and last drinks time of night is shorely almost dawn,

' ■ ' Hall

Good mornin, Nellie®

Nell

(She takes Cherokee's hand,) Fellers, this is an old friend of mine Cherokee Hall® I'm proud to say I knowed Cherokee Hall since the winter my pappy taught me to deal faro* Cherokee this be Sam Enright, Jack Moore, Hoc Peets, and Dave Tutt®

Hall

(All around handshakes and greetings®) How do, gents.

Jack ,

(After greetings®) Did Faro say you drove in with a pretty gal. 25

Hall

I dido ' And Miss Sue is sherely pretty# How is she, Nellie?

Nell

She was mighty tired—-but whatever tomfool was shootin down yere woke her up,0 (To the others«) Cherokee and the lady drove in all the way from Wilcox, yesterday. Miss Wilkins— Sue Wilkins be the lady1s name— -she wanted to get here right quick.

• Hall

The moon was full so I kept eomin not wamtin to worry the gal by ©ampin out overnight« ;

Enright

Then this lady yore travelin with ain't related to you nohow?

Hall

No we met on the road south of Wileox6 She'd jest split off from a wagon train outa Missoura®

Nell ' ■

Cents, Cherokee’s gonna be my partner in the Eed Dog Palace. Which, , I declares this.an auspicious day--drinks is on the house from here to the last rose of sunset tonight. /

Hall

Mighty flatterin, Nells

Nell

Call yer whiskey, gents. Paint yer noses to suit yer taste.

, Doc -

Did I understand, Cherokee, that faro is your special game of chance?

Hall

That's right, Doe.

Doc

Then I hope you. won't delay your first game in Tombstone? Hall

1 5 1 1 initiate myself t© that faro table right after breakfast®

- Nell

What was that shootin all about?

Tueson Jenny bursts into the barroom followed by Aaron Green Esq0 - This gentleman is small of stature but large of voice. Self assured, cocky, he walks with the strut of a bantam rooster who knows that the barnyard, now or.later, will in­ evitably fall to his control« Bowlegs scampers across the . room and behind the bar.' Cherokee and Nell step back to avoid the imminent ranikaboo. . ,

Jenny

(Going directly to Enright.) Where is that bear. He's supposed to be under arrest®

Jack

He was but he got Easy Aaron, here, to get him a writ of habeas cor­ pus®

Green

(To Jenny.) Why, I promise you, my legal services have not been engaged for Such a purpose by Billie Bowlegs or any other bear®

Jenny

Gentlemen, Mr® Green is going to be my lawyer in this case® • '

Enright

I'm agin that.

Green

(Presenting his card.) Allow me to officially present myself® I am Aaron Green, Esquire, Attorney at Law® As you see by my card, my credentials include certificates, that show that I hold degrees ass Student in Civil Jurisprudence, Bachelor of Divinity, Fellow in Elocution, Master of Pedagogy, Licentiate in Civil Law, Laureate in Canon Law, and with highest honors, J. U. Be, Doctor of Civil and Canon and Criminal Jurisprudence® May I ask by what authority your committee is constituted? Enright

The Stranglers Committee, yon might say, oonstituated itselfa B'yom object?

Green

(Magnanimously waiving away a small legal point.) No objection,your honoro '

Where is "Mr." Bowlegs®

Jack i. . ■

Bowlegs, come on out yere and face up to this lady.

Bowlegs comes slowly out, circles to avoid Jenny, and jumps up onto the faro table ®

Well, it's pleasant to see you, Mr® Billie Bowlegs® Did you get plenty to eat this morning? Hope so; a body never knows what meal is going to be his last ®

Enright

(Irritated and nervous®) Tucson, camp down and be easy® I calls this session to order® Now, what's yore complaint agin Bowlaigs?

Mr® Green will present my case as in the proper practice of law®

I'm agin it® Miss Jenny we don't need lawyers® We don't practice law, we practices facts®

(Cheerfully®) Certainly® Everybody in the territory knows that Sam Enright's Tombstone Stranglers-always uncover the truth®

Enright

(Taken back®) Thank ya, ma-am® Jenny

And lets every gent play.his own hand as he sees fit,

Enright

Which that is the law.of the West®

(Still sweetly cheerful*) I see fit t© have a lawyer,

• Enright

(Defeated®) So ahead, Aaron Green, Es-quar®

Thank you® .

Green

(Stepping forward*) The accused is charged with illegally and un­ lawfully breaking and entering the premises of the .0* K* Restaurant storeroom and maliciously damaging the contents thereof to the amount of $23>®QO. Said amount is asked in damages and the * . ®

, Dave

Hold on thar, Billie ain't done nothin m'lichuse He don't know about no "hreakin and enterin«" He was jest hongry®

Green

Ah yes, but the law says, "Ignorantis Tacit excusat— Ignorantia juris non excusati If you make a mistake in a matter of fact. The Law may excuse the results of your act* But if you've mistaken the Law, it's no use, For the Law.won't admit that excuse®"

We're whipped® A law sharp armed with tie classical®® I said I was agin it*

Doc

That legal maxim you quote, Squire Green, is correct® If we stop there, Bowlegs is guilty and should pay for his crime® Green

That is my jmdgment^ thank you- sir©

Doo

leu9re welcomef sir© l©w do you have the evidence?

Green

I should like to call witnesses © * *

Doe

Did your client draw up a deposition declaring the articles lost or stolen and their value?

Green

I can present witnesses©

Doc

You have no such document prepared? * .

Green •

No, I have not©

■ ■ ■ Doc

Squire, the law says, rtDe non apparentihus, et non existentibus, eadem est ratio: " " ; That which does not appear will net be presumed to existf Is a maxim on which rules of justice as well as of Law will insist © Thus writings not offered in Court, failing reason sufficient. Are held by the Court to be non-existent.^ ■ You have no ease, sir©

(Quickly©) Which I don’t savey he words but I second the motion! Amy argyments? Then Bowlaigs is acquitted© Case dismissed; pass the bottle®

Jenny

(Laughing and clapping in approval©) Wonderful, Doctor Peets! Hoisted with his own petard© You911 have to do better, Mr® Green© You've lest your first case in Tombstone © 30

Green

(Bowing«,) I eongradmlate you, sir*. I won't lose the next time.

(She erosses to Billie.) Billie, I lost mj temper® I'll forgive you for messing up my clothes, if you'll forgive me®

There is a sheer from the men®

Dave

Whoop! Billie, Miss Jenny's yore fren®

- ■ ■ Jenny ' , : , -

What do you say Billie?

She thrusts out her hand for a handshake and Billie, who has been backing nervously away, falls with a crash off the table, scrambles to his feet and dodges behind the bar® There is general laughter®

Jack

(To Jenny®) Then are you satisfied with the way we've handled this trial?

Mr.® Enright was courageous, Doctor, Peets was brilliant, and you were all wonderfully afraid for that silly bear ®

Jack

Then you will admit that Tombstone don't need regular courts?

Hot at all® Tombstone needs them and I intend to see that she gets them ® •

Enright

(Grumbling®) Which that shows a woman's nacher is that emotional she's ©neapable of seein what's right® (With unperturbed sweetness®) Amd that man's nature is so "reasonable” that once his "reason" has worked out a system he cannot see the value of changing his mind* You are all wonderful, and I love your courage and common senseo But you're political ideas are rather prim­ itive, don't you see? You heedn * t.worry however— I intend to change those®

Doc

Could you prepare us for the shock hy telling us how you intend to remold our present ideas?

I want you all to put up your guns® I'm going to convince you to disarm and stop the constant violence that goes on in town®

There are general protests from all except Green who beams his approval® , Enright calls for order®

Enright

Quiet! Quiet! But Miss Jenny as for a Western .scene of fragrant peace, this camp is eomper'ble only with an Eastern flower garden on a hazy August afternoon®

Jenny

But the weeds of violence in your garden need hoeing ® And the gardeners— as lovable as they are— need to be taught how to hoe them properly® So as soon as I get your guns off, I'm going to teach you to hold proper elections®

More protests® All of these men have lived under the influ­ ence of organized law and prefer the relative freedom of a stranglers committee®

Jack

Tucson, did you go into any saloons in when you was back East at that school? Jack

Then if Tombstone is• so violent9 how come you come in the Bed. Bog?

' > J^nny -

Why not? It’s run fey a lady®

Nell

I thank you9 Miss Jenny®

Doe

There are at least five hundred men in camp who are violently "in­ terested” in you® That doesn't frighten you away from the Bed Dog®

Jenny

Poo; which of the five hundred would risk insulting me and face the remaining four hundred and ninety-nine? Besides this is the safest place in town®

Enright

Whyever so?

Because night or day, this is the only place a person can fee sure to find the protection of the Stranglers Committee®

Jack

(Laughing ®) Where are you goin to get protection if we put our guns away? The first armed stranger who gets the notion will take the town over, horns to hind hocks®

Jenny

Ho one would dare against so many men® Besides, you would simply insist that they disarm also®

Enright -

Oh shore! Please mister, I ain’t wearin no gun and you dassn't neither« So, pretty please pass me your pistol® Jemiy

(Very sincerelyo) Yes something like that should work. .After, all, if everyone else disarms, public opinion will force them to conform to that image.

Jack

That image of Tombstone without guns will get public as soon as we all get peace and rest— -up on Boot Hill*

There is general laughter which Jenny responds to with good nature„

Jenny • V -

They might plant you on Boot Hill, Jack Moore, but I wonder if you'll find peace and rest where you'll go from there.

' - And Jack, too, takes their laughter-with a grin. .

, Enright

Miss Jenny, I sees that yore a squar shooter and does yer fightin in the open 8 stead of Injun fashion. You lays out yer stratagems fer us. I'm goin to lay bare the Committee's snares fer you.

Jenny

You gentlemen have been plotting against me? (Very gay and frank.) Well, you're brighter than I thought., What did you decide?

Jack

That you and Dave Tutt are seandalizin this camp.

.Enright

The camp figures yer a menace ® ®

j-gBM -

I'm very flattered.

Enright

Which the remedy we ropes onter is to hobble you matrimoniala Why would marriage hobble me*,

Enright.

Once a gal has a husband, she has to go along with the camp, else she9 1 1 find him shot up or strung up a whole loto

Jack ■■ . ;

Since you show such partiality for Dave, we nominated him to make the sacrifice® So I ask, like a big brother, are yer intentions honorable? , J

■Jenny

The question is, Jack Moore, are your intentions honorable?

, ■ Jack ■." .

(Quite taken back®) Mine? In what way?

• ■ . Jenny

As to being a true and loyal brother to me^ of course®

Jack

(He is somewhat distressed and suspicious®) Ain't I always been® ,

I've never been certain® Is that what,you really want?

Jack

(Quite distressed at this turn of events®) If that's what you want®

Jenny

(Very pleased®) Good® Then I'll accept you as my protector® Gen­ tlemen, I'll consider marrying David just as soon as heproperly asks me and my brother, Jack, formally consents® But I insist on all the formalities and proprieties® Society has invented these to protect the lady and strengthen her position® Of course, I feel sorry for the man in his position, but I can't throw away my advantage nan I? 35

Jack

(Rather sullen.) What if I don't approve of Dave— if he asks you?

Jenny

Why wouldn't you, brother? Do you have someone else in mind?

' Jack

You only said you*Id consider Davee Maybe you got someone else in minds

I might have® \

Dave

(Disturbeds) Who is that? >•.

Jenny '

Why anyone my brother, Jack, approves of— that is, anyone who takes me seriously®

Jack

(Completely diseombobulated, he can only complain®) I'd say a gent does right not to take any gal serious® With all them proprieties workin for her, he cain't be serious if he expects to come out with his skin ® .

■' Jenny

Perhaps® Well, Dave takes me seriously, don't you David?

■ ; Dave -

(Almost with resigned despair®) I reckon I shorely do®

There is my answer, Mr.-. Enright® Your Committee has no place in this— no more than it has a proper right to hold court® . Well, we'll change that soon, won't we® I'll teach you the civil and social proprieties, and Tombstone will have., proper elections and proper proposals® (She goes out gaily®) 36

Bell

(She goes t© the stairs®) You jest got-war declared on yen-all,' but I ’m goin to stay clear of it® I got Miss Sue upstairs who needs some lookin after® She’s goin to need some help from you-all, too® Gherokee can-.tell you about her®

Faro Nell goesrimp and all turn inquisitively to Hall®

Shey ain’t nothin to tell, except this Misseura lady is in a steam engine hurry lookin fer some gent® She got reason to think he's in this camp®

Enright , ■ i .

Tombstone only needs to be asked and she comes up with aid, both furrin and domestic®

Green

(This gent has been sipping whiskey and observing the scene® He now crosses to them, saluting- them with his glass®) Ah gentlemen, a town of such high public spirit, a town so conscious of its duty to itself and the world, is a joy to come upon® I know I shall pros­ per here® The advent of a court system cannot be far off, and that will resolve the only problem which impedes Tombstone's progress into a brilliant future®

Enright '

(Fronting up to Green in almost uncontrolled wrath®) Which one thing I looks on with loathin as bein an abomination certain to cloud Tomb­ stone's future", that's law-sharps®

Green

(A bit nervous, nonetheless®) I am prefectly aware that your own code protects me® I am unarmed® (And his voice a bit too high®) Ostentatiously unarmed®

Enright

Somebody hand this gent a gun® ',

Green

It’s no use. I won't take it® (Brawing now with deadly ealm«,) Then you better reorganize inter some distant and sudden landscapes*

■ Green

(Moving rapidly backward to the door where he takes his stand®) I shall not be intimidated— your code protects me« But 1 will•fight you and I will retreat not one inch— not one millimeter®

Enright cocks his gun and Green steps, backward out the door with as much dignity and haste as he can combine®

'' ' Enright ■

Easy Aaron's got to be urged to shift his camp a whole,lot, else Tombstone faces personal deestruction in a awful form®

Faro Nell and her guest have appeared on the staircase® Suzanna Wilkins is as luxurious in her beauty as Jenny is restrained in hers® Not that there is anything garish or immodest about her costume or manner ® She is very simply dressed in country fashion and while she is too naive and simple-hearted not to be modest, she is too earthy to be easily embarrassed® The.voluptuous quality of her beauty ■is two-fold® Physically she .contrasts with Jenny in that it is apparent that her soft,■lush figure is not corseted® Moreover, her full mouth, her wide-set eyes and her almost round face are framed in soft, flowing, blond hair— Jenny's is dark and prim» Sue Wilkins' personality also is volup-r tuouso Like Nell, Sue believes that loving is giving and she will not learn to the contrary until she finds herself be­ trayed® But this will never happen if it lies within the preventive power of the Stranglers Committee»

Nell

(Descending first®) Gents I want you-all to meet one sweet little lady® Miss Sue Wilkins® - .

' Sue

G' mornin, gents® Mornin Mr® Hall®

Hall

Mornin ma-am® I hopes you got rested a heap ® 38

Hell

These gents is the leng-hea&s ©* this carap. Miss Sueo Meet Sam Ea- right. Jack Moore, Bee Beets, Bare Tmtt, and yonder is Billie Bow- laigso Miss Sue would be obliged if you gents could help her out some0

Sue Wilkins stands quietly as they mod and bow and greet her® Billie peers out from under a table, then makes a turn . and lies down to sleep®

Enright

Ma-am, this yere Committee will be pleased to do whatever we can®

■ Sue

I come out from Missoura aloekin fer a feller0 Ezekiel Boone by name®

Enright

Gamp, down on.that chair, ma-am® Let’s set in session, gents® (They do®) I ain't heard no such name tossed out for general social use® (Eegative reaction around®) Does this Ezekiel Boone gent reside under any other tag, Miss Susanna?

Sue

Hone as I knows of®

Enright

Whatever does he look like, ma-am?

Sue

I got a pitcher of him® H e ’s a right big man® He’s the feller on the horse®

Jack

(Passing on the picture that Miss Sue has given him®) Can’t tell much from that. Miss Sue®

Doc

A Union uniform® 39

Sue

Yes sir* •That's why my pa hated Ezekiel* I tended Ezekiel's war wounds hut when Pa found out he was Union, he drove him off*

Hall

Ha-am the war's been over more'n ten year.

v . ■Sue

Hot in Missoura, Mr* Hallo So now Pa is daid and I left my Ma to come lookin fer Ezekiel. I shore need to find my man, gentse

Enright .

Which they ain't nothin that won't get done to find 'em for ya, Miss Sue® ■ -

Sue

I thank you, kindly.

Hall '

How long do you figure he's been in Tombstone, Miss Sue?

§S®

It's been four months since I last saw Ezekielo He's been som'ers in these parts two months or more ©

Jack

He could be workin a mine or he could be herdin cattle. I'll send out word for him to the ranchers. I'll check the mines myself®

Hall '

I wouldn't bet a yellow stack on yore ropin him— goin around, that- a-way askim for 'em by name®

Jack

I'll ask Ar him by the name of Miss Sue Wilkins. That'll fetch him whatever tag he uses, hereabouts— if he wants to be fetched. 40

■Sme .■

(Bising ia mild pretest®) 1 ainet. ehasin mo mam that , ain’ t mime, Mr» Mooreo You let Ezekiel know I ’m in camp and he’ll come.

M e n . . .

(Coming to her and leading her toward the stairso) Shore he wills honeyo We knows that* Come mp and ght yer bonnet and we’ll go fer breakfast* Yon gotta meet Smesorn Jenny*

Hall

(He proceeds with them to the stairs*) Bon81 fret, Miss* Ifn Ezekiel is in this camp. Jack Moore*11 rout him out * Ifn he ain’t. I ’ll back track him even if I gotta go all the way to Sissomra to get enter his trail* . '

Sme

Mr* Hall, you been so nice— ;for two days you been takin ©are o’ me* I don’t mean to be a burden, but I ’m much obliged* I do need to find my man, soon*

Tucson Jenny sweeps in through the,swinging doors in the gayest mood*: She passes unnoticed Tombstone’s newest female resident and goes directly to the Committee* Billie rises up in terror and leaps over the bar where he remains in hid­ ing, occasionally peeking out*

Take cover, gentlemen* I come to do battle and I now have an ally*

Jack

Who is that?

The meteoric daughter of that old volcano, Clegg, you tangled with this morning* She’s a sure enough shooting star— a Hailey’s Comet— and she’s looking feh you, Mr* Enright*

,.. Enright ...

(Taking up the challenge *) Then, I ’d better swaller some o’ her fire before she burns this camp down a whole lot* What does she want? 41

Semeene to perform a wedding ceremony«, go, I told her that you are the only judge in Tombstone and.she tucked her bridegroom under one arm and went to. engage the services of Lawyer green»

The center doors crash open and Abigail Slegg, suddenly stands in the middle of the room, the doors swinging behind hero . She is even larger than her sister but,somewhat more.attrac­ tive o She has a gun;belt strapped around the skirt of her best dress, and the weapon, a long barreled 44 Colt's Revolv­ er, is in her hand®., She does* indeed, have two men in tow* and* indeed, they are literally tucked under her arms® With one arm she has a hammer lock on the neck of Easy Aaron® Her other arm is hooked around that ..of her lover as is the fashion for people courting® The difference here* however, is that she has her gun in that hand and. she is gripping his arm so tightly in the crook of her elbow that he is forced* being a tall, thin boy* to bead toward her® let there is something feminine about her— perhaps it is her country bonnet— that is both whimsical and appealing®

Toad Allen, the pinfeather fellow who has stolen her heart is a St® Louis city slicker® His Eastern clothes, a garish green wool with a pin stripe, make his.tall, thin body appear awkward and,gawky® _ nevertheless, he has a naive honesty and youth about him that will recommend him to these men® He carries easily, in the crook of his free arm, an Easterners weapon— a small bore, long barreled squirrel rifle®

Abby,; stands for a. moment, as wary as am Apache in an Army post, looking over the situation® Then she releases green and pushes him toward the Committee® Jenny relinquishes the floor to Abby, and watches the proceedings with amuse­ ment®

Which one air the Jedge, Mr® Lawyer?

Green

Judge ® Judge Enright would you kindly reassure my client that I am a highly responsible and reliable legal practitioner? Really, madam, it is ® ® ®

Abby

(Overriding Green®) Bo you be the jedge of this hamlet? 42

Enright

X reckon fmcsoa Jenny dubbed me "Judge.**

■ ' -

Them rip out yore law book5 Toad Allen here and me, we®s honia to git married, ain” t we? Toad, homey* .

Ha-am, this yere proposal you puts up aim1t possible ter me to con­ summate o ,

: '

(Whose conversation is made inordinately more pointed by the fact that she unconsciously gestures with her gun hand.) Be you refusin to marry of us two gentle lovebirds?

Allen .

(Fulling himself loose ©f Abby and assuming the dignity of youth in reaction to their barely concealed amusement =) If yon-all thinks cause I'm a eity-feller that I don't demand no respeck for my lady, you better think agin. Choke back.them smiles an' grimaces an' lis­ ten to Miss Abby proper® If you-all don't find this subject-matter serious, she shore does®

’ Bee

So offense, sir® Please, no offense® *

©h Toad, you is § 0 noble® Make this old gent marry of us®

Don't you young-ums want a proper weddim by a Preacher? Some such pmlpit-pounder.came bulgin through here this mernin® I reckon he could be relocated®

Hot likely this side o' hades with my Pap on his trail® We done explored that route omct and Pap cut us off® 43

: Alien

We been hidin. ©nt whilst a pal © 4 mine .has. been asearehin for this parson feller» My pal don't* turn up an 4 Sbby. gets impatient 9 bein a lady that-a»way9 a n 4 we strike out, fer you Jedge» Abby signs up Lawyer Green here and he tells us how her Pap already invaded Tomb­ stone o

You law=sharp, there» You go to work agettin us married.

Green

Judge Enright$ may I address the eourt?

I eain't see no way to stop ya 0

Green . lay I point out.that you, sir, fmaetion in this Community as its high­ est judieator, its only arbiter of rgmrisprudenee? leeoasider, your Honor| I dutifully submit that your original judgment was a mentis gratissimus error»

Enright

Boe Peets, could you translate this law agent's palavero i - Doc

.Squire Green maintains that your original decision was in error due to pre-judgment on your part*

„He "lows that does he* Pre-judgment? Squar, I mildly suggests that you l a m to smile idiotic whilst makin seeh statements so as folks'll know you for the fool you a W < The coamoonity ain't so foolish as to pay any mind to any marryim I might do* Green

(With calm,, tenacity o); As head. of. the Strangler * s Committee 9, yon pass jmdgment,. on sueh. matters as. horse, stealing^, gambling offenses, homocide and other matters of civil importance <> As a result of your actions there is no elected municipal magistrateo Wherefore, it is obligatory that you take action to fill this voidc Whereas, I propose the following consideration <> <> »,

(In sheer .exhaustion and desperation0). Hold on, there,. Square I said before, Tombstone don't practice law, it practices facts« An' the facts is I'm hemcoon of the Strangler's Committee not no judge» Much as I'd like to oblige you, Allen, I eain't do 'er»

. . Al l e n .

Abby, this lawyer turned us off onto the wrong trail» Judge Enright, here, ain't no judge= He eain’t marry us. '

(Pettish at being foiled again.) Toad Allen, are you gonna let this yere old grizzler boondoggle you outen marryin* us?

Allen

Don't fret yer delicate disposition, sugar-pot. We'll scout that preacher till we find him. We'll be wed afore long.

Afore long? (low irate rather than pettish.) See hyer, Mr. Toad Allen. I knows how city fellers homswoggle young females away from their paps them refoose to wed up with those repositories o' innocent virtue an' feminine helplessness. Sow I don't aim to crowd yer hand, but I'm due to begin shootin you up a whole lot ifn you don't show consider'ble more passionate anxiety about leadim me to the altar.

■' • Allen -

Yer Pap wouldn't respect any marryin that Mr. Enright would work on us. Am' it's yer Pap that I gotta convince® If that old murder­ er catches me afore I'm his bomafide son-in-law, he'll plug me with v ho more hesitation than if I'm a coyote. So, I'm in a •burry to get related to yer Pap. Gomld. yoei). in the interest, of clarity, advise as how it came to be necessary for you to elope?

She simple way, now, would have been, for yon to see this lady's pa­ ternal gent an* get his consento

Allen

Seein that old gent can prove plenty complex«

Which we tackled pap twist0 I ain't never Mowd sech;out-shinin bravery in a man afore* She first time Pap opens on foad with his 44-gun as soon as Toad ends his first,sentence* Pap's so mad he 5B13.SS@S s

Allen

She second time. I'd jest made, the perch o' the cabin * * * .

(Laughingo) When Pap sees him, gets the range and cuts loose on 'em- this time, afore he eyen opens his mouth=

Shen whatever does this locoed parent do?

- . Abbg

Same as me and my sister ; he doubles up in .oneontrollable mirth* Pap's; bullet, aeatchin of Soad’s arm, spins Soad like a top into the horse trough* Soad leaves the trough and lands on his pony in such a splashim hurry that he vacuums that trough bone dry of water. Yes, sir, gents, he carries a full trough-load o' water along with him, leavin a wet trail for two miles into the desert*

Allen

I ask you, gents* Do I have any other choice except to elope?

Enright

It does seem like her pap is a little set agin ya* Allen

Hiss AMby and her pap has get me betwixt them— both threatenin to plug m e 6 If yon gents don’t help me, they’ll eross~lift me.into the promised lando

Enright

Which we weald help but. they ain’t no one. in town who can work a weddin ritnal over yom lovebirds« ,

(Coming forward now with a calm bmt strong declaration =.) $hen hold an election and elect a magistrate who can marry them, or else find that preacher. If you don’t, I ’ll campaign for my own candidate. With the cause of these young lovers as, the main plank of my plat­ form, I’ll soon have every man in town on my side» Either Hiss Abby gets married, or when I get through cleaning up on Tombstone’s, pre­ sent political life, it won’t look any more like it does now than Billie Bowlegs looks like Sarah Bernhardt— not if I have to do the clean­ ing with my broom.

Billie, who has occasionally appeared up from behind the bar, now rises up to his full height in fear at hearing his name called in connection with Jenny’s broom. Finding Jenny in a threatening position blocking his possible escape through the swinging doers, he leaps over the bar and races to the side door. He leaps at it and hits it dead center. It comes off its hinges and crashes down under his weight= Everyone stares in amazement as the curtain rapidly closes= ACT TWO

It is two drinks later, fifth, drinks time of the morning= Enright and loe are in eonferenoe at their table *. Shortarm is behind the bar polishing glassware =, Oherokee Hall is leaning against the far wall«. He maintains a polite distance from the conference table of this high level meeting, but ■ his very intent disinterest makes him seem to hang over the conference like a dark and troubled spirito

' ■ Boc

Why Sam, even if Jack or Dave do find this Ezekiel Boone, you'll still be in trouble— I'd wager, double trouble»

Enright

Which I know, Ifn they finds Boone then Miss Sue will want me to marry her, too. But findin Boone would stir them women up and give us a ehanct to locate Preacher Beechanu

v Boc

(Wryly,) tTnless, Slegg already has him staked out on an ant-hill- then you're in even more trouble, ,

My only other hope for a dievershun is that old man Slegg is due to come invadin Tombstone's domain agin, projeetin around huntin his datter.

Doc

When he does, Toad Allen had better stay under cover. If the father doesn't get him the daughter will,

Enright

Pluggin the boy like she promised is shorely only a bluff she puts up.

k 7 48

Wall 9 we gotta perteet the hoy, that's certain,,

Allen

(Entering in time to hear Enright o) fhaaks gents, you renews my faith in my ehanees of earvivia the Say»

Enright •

However did you escape from them females?

Allen

I slipped, ray hobbles whilst they was watchin the stagecoach roll into campo I come to warn ya that them ladies is about to ride into action® fhat Miss Jenny would be out eampaignin now except I sweet- talked tlaem into givia you gents one more hour®

Wall, I takes that as friendly of you, Toad Allen®

Boe ■,

It's beginning to look like you will have to perform the ceremony, Sam®

I'm agin it® I ain't no judge nor no preacher neither®

BO© :

She alternative is an election run by Miss Jenny

I'm agin that, too

Allen

I sure wish I knew where that preacher was®

Hall

(Coming forward®) Sam, I been hangin back like a three legged hound dog® but I sees now that my dooty is to speak up and head off this election and this Clegg war® (Grmiblingo) W M e h if you ean d© that, phyever are you bein so mulish about it?

Sail

I abides by a strict roole to stand clear of another man’s play== specially a sudden gent like yore partners I ain't for years inhab­ ited these roode and sand^blom. regions not to long before have learned the excellence of that maxim about lettim every man kill M s own snakess But this time, I gotta step ins. Tou^stll. .will find that preach­ er out at Sam's laneho

Enright

Hy ranch? How do you come so overburdened with news?

Hall

1 said all I can gents, except the preacher was sent there cause it's a known haven of refooge* Havin'sung this tune, I quits right newo Jumpin another gent's claim will bring troubleIt always does*

Gherokee goes quietly out the swinging doors as Faro Sell, Tucson Jenny and Sue Wilkins come in the side door» They are chattering simultaneously as young girls do at weddings®

Well

I got lotsa fancy dresses as would fit you. Hiss Susanna®

And we must find a pretty bonnet for her®

Sue

They ain't nothin more exeitin than a weddin®

Hell

How if only yore Ezekiel was here®

Sue

Howdy gents® Bid Hr® Moore or Mr® Tutt come back yet? 5©

Ho ma=am, they aim't <, They'll come to yoa d'rectly when they hear somethino

Sa»- .

(Turning to g© upstairso) I thank yae

I ell

(Following her up0) Don't think om it 8 ri^ht nowo tie gotta pretty you up before they find him anyhow0 (They are gone«)

(To Enrighto) Did your friend Billie Bowlegs ever stop;running?

He’s hidin out in the corral® He'll come back soon as he's thirsty® (He is now very cheerful, certain that he is going to win®) Wall, Tucson, I- don't guess yore goin to get yer 'lections®

(Equally cheerful®) Why, Hr® Enright, I thought I had won the last battle® :• ■ ; : ■ 1

Enright

Ho ma-am® Yore strategy was keen but justice triumphs® -We found the preacher®

: demny

Good, that's wonderful® Where is he?

Enright

He'll be here by seventh drinks time®

Do©

Why so delighted, Miss denny? You have lost your bid for elections® 51

re going to have a wedding 6 6 „ and we may have elections 9 too.

'Ter sehemin something»

Jenny

M r 0 Enright 9 finding the preacher might not be enengjh-1® stop my electionso Unf ortnnately 9 Miss Abby has some new-ideas =

Allen

Shat new ideas?

You had better ask her*

ie0ll go do that right aowo

Allen

Mot me a I'm goin to corral that preacher and I don't want to see Miss Abby till I do 0

You leave fombstone and Glegg will get you shore» I'll send some of my boys after Preacher Beeehafflo

■Allen fhis is my play 0

fhen I'll send my boys along with you.

You had all better hurry® As soon as we get Miss Susanna dressed9 I'm going to start my campaign.o 52

Enright

(Grossing to the swinging doors followed by the other meno) Doe, eeme on® Let’s see what oraerymess Smeson’s been sehemin now®

(Following them to the door®) Don’t be angry, Mr® Enright® It’s not personal, yon. know® fhy I have nothing bmt the warmest affection for you®

Inright .

(As the others go out®) Which I knows that’s true and I ’m thankful you don’t downright love me® (He goes out®)

She turns, laughing, and goes toward the stairs® She is stopped by the entrance of lave Tutt, who comes in the side door®

Dave

Howdy, Hiss Jenny, is Jack here®

Ho lave® Did you find Esekiel Boone?

. Dave

Ho ma-am® Mayhap Jack’s found him® He’s out askin at the miners cabins® I ’m sposed to meet him, here® ,

- Jenny '

When he eomes, tell him that I want to see him® It’s Important®

- Dave les’m® Miss Jenny, could I see you ® ® ® I mean would you set a spell® I t ’s important®

JSSM

Why yes, David® (She takes a ©hair®) 53

Dave

(Soiag to the bar*) Short arm, have a eeegar on me why doaeha?

Shortarm

I thank ya, Dave® Be happy to.

Dave

(hi the per eh o

Shortarm

(He looks knowingly at Jenny and goes toward the door.) Shorely, Hr. fiatt, shorely. '

• Dave

(Hacomraged by his success in getting Shortarm to leave, he takes on Jenny’s peremptory attitude and tone.) And Shortarm. If you see Jack Moore, you tell him I wants to see him mediately. It’s important.

Shortarm

I will, H r . Tutt. (He goes.)

Dave

(With the same confidence.) Whatever did you want with Jack, Tucson?

Jemni

(Deflating him.) I would rather tell him myself.

' - lave

You could tell me, Hiss Jenny. I’d tell it to Jack just as you tell it to me ” ” ’1 verbatim , 11 Miss Jenny.

-

Ho, you tell him to come to see me.

Dave

Hiss Jenny, why don’t you ever want to tell me things. I mean, a secret, or business, or you know like something personal. Dave fmtt, you know I favor you over any other man in Tombstone„

Dave

BverybeSy says thato That’s what’soonfusino

Jenny lhat did you want me for?

Dave

I thought we’d just sit a spello We ebuld talko

Jenny

But why should we talk here?

'

I’d kinda like to* They’s nobody about. Miss Jenny*

I see that, but why not someplace more pleasant * Why not wait until next Sunday’s picnic *

Dave

Shucks® Them picnics is no fun®

Jenny

Why, Dave Tutt® A picnic with me is no fun?

Jack alius has to come along on picnics®

Jenny

He rides along behind to protect me® He never comes within shouting distance! 55

Dave

(Violently«) He °s within seeim distance ain* t he?

Teso .

Dave

(Dejectedo) Thatfs why it ain't no £tm=

Poor Davido Well, never mind 9 I 8 11 tell him to stay out of sight next Sunday => After all David, I can" t help It if the conn try side in Arizona in dangerouso

Dave

Yes’ao

W e 5 1 1 have our talk then?

Yes’m.

@oed« (She goes to the stairs•) fell Jack to come to see mec

Dave

(Sitting0) He won’t do it®

(In mild surprise®) Why not®

Dave

(Dreamily9 without noticing her reaction®) He never does®

He never does what? Comes to see youo

Jeany

Why he sees me every day*

Dave ■

He never comes to see yoji when yew send for him»

I never send for him* / .

Dave

Tw©;, likely four times a week® you tell me to have him see yotie

I do no such thing 0 I warn you « , e

• Gave

Bat he never comes»

He does s©=

' ■ -Dave

And then you get mad and b u m the pies®

I never b u m my pies®

Dave '

And by the next time you see Jack you ferget whatever you want to tell him, cause you been mad®

(Angrily®) I do not get angry® Sometimes you even heller at me 0

igsss i:

(lomSlyo) I never raise my voiceo

: gave

(He has become quite excited and distraughto) I've gotta ask you n©w 3 I can't wait; I'm all worked up to ito Eiss Jennys I gotta ask you somethin * •<,, * it's like you said, proper am' private.

: - Jemiy

(She becomes tender, realizing what he wantso) And you think this is the most proper and most private place in which to ask it?

lave

Yes'a, that's why I been tryin to get you to set down.

, 2SSSZ

Wouldn't Sunday be better?

gave

You and me and Jack Moore?

Jenny

(Warmly.) All right, Davy. You deserve an answer. (She sits down.)

gave

(Assuming a formal pose.) Miss Jenny, may I ask somethin of you? Somethin proper and private?

fhe swinging doors'burst open and Jack Moore enters.

Jack

Bid you want to see me, lave?

lave

Oh shore, shore I did® lello fmesoBg whatever are y©m tw© baled, mp im here for? (f® Baveo) Shortarm is settim omt front an says you want to see meo What for?

©aye•

(Very disappointed0) Oh, Eiss Jenny wants to talk of ya»

(To ©aye, tenderlyo) Never mind, Bayido I ’ll answer your question on next Sunday’s pienieo

. ©aye

Yes ma=am 9 Hiss Jenny <> • ‘

Jack

You wanted to see me 8 Tucson»

Jenny

I have some more particulars from Sue Wilkins about Ezekiel Boone»

Jack

Hobody heard of Boone at the Bog Town mimes® You find anything ©aye?

©aye '

They ain’t nobody in town as knows any Ezekiel Boone or Sue Wilkins®

Jack

What’s these partic’lars from Miss Sue®

Jenny

She says.he has rather thinf sandy colored hair® Apparently he’s not a very young man® He must be around thirty-five or forty®

Jack

That don’t blaze no trail® 59

Ezekiel i s . a .mean; tempered mam; he is a gunman of seme sorts She says he is always qmiek te fight=

Jack

That dem't help mrnqh more* Lots of gehts ia Arizona are qniok to fights

Bare

Which I earn tell right off them signs lead to a cold trail and the wrong games If a yon foiler them, yon comes up with gents the likes o 1 which wemld pmt a strain on the lovin heart of a blood drimkia Apache squawo fhe Stimgin Lizard bein a case in points

The Stinging Lizard?

Jack

(Immediately recognizing the truths) low, that's whatever«

' Dave

I said it was a cold trails fhe Lizard is the right age, right size, right color hair and he9s been in fombstone about two months; and he's emery * But he's too omerys No sweet gal like Hiss Sue could love a feller like the Stingin Lizards

Hy goodness, I never thought of that bully=

Save

Well, I said it warm't him didn't Is

Jack

It's him all right, Daves

It is? 6©

Jack.

(Looking at the photo he has pmlled from his vest®) He matches this pitcher good enough <,

Dave

He does® " ' '

(Looking at the picture®) Yes, as nearly as can be seen®

' J a c k •

(To lave®) You shore followed those signs to the end of the trail®

Dave

But how could such a lady as Miss Sue ® ® ®

Jenny

David, no one ever knows what goes on between two people when they are in love® They live in a different world, a world no one else can enter®

■ , s . Jack

How do you know that?

Jack

He’s over in the back room of Hamilton’s Hew York Store® The boys got a poker game goin® The Lizard started with S3 ©© in gold about second drinks time this morain® He took a thousand dollars off Ham alone® He’s drunk with wimnin, eursin and roarin®

Why then we’ll have a double wedding— they’ve found Preacher, Beeeham® Mr® Allen has gone to fetch him® (She laughs warmly®) And maybe I’ll get my elections, too® I must see that Miss Sue is dressed properly® (She laughs again®) Oh dear, mixing politics with marriage ceremonies| I wonder if it’ll work® 6 1

Jack

i/hat are you up to?

let a thing« I'm delighted with all of you 0 You found both the preacher and the bridegroom! I’eteh laekiel and I'll run upstairs and tell Sue*

Jack

Ho, don't be too quicks A no limit, high-stakes game like that ends in a shootin match easyo It won’t be long till the Lizard either breaks that game or his luck turns downs Them I'll get him out of the games '•

You always go down the safest trail9 don’t you. Jack Moore» Well if I'm not to tell Miss Sues then I don't think we ought to tell anyones

- ' Jack

Eights There's no tellin how a gent like the Lizard will jump when he hears his gal's some after him«

Just don’t be to© long breaking up that card games

Jack

Dave, why don’t you loiter over and watch that game someB

Dave

I don’t,minds

Jack

(Teasings) You can handle it alone?

Dave , - ■ ■ Of course I cans (He stalks outs) Yea8re always teasing hi»«

Jack

You're sure,quick to protect that boy 0 .

I need to be 8 with you always clowninge Sending lawe into a possibly dangerous situationI

- ■ Jaek

I trust Dave more than you d©» Anyways9 I'll be on hand before that game gets too lively 0 Eight now, I'd sooner talk to you<>

I% glad that you trust Save« He and I just decided that we don81 need you snooping along behind us on our Sunday rides anymoreo

Jack

You never objected beforeo What else, did you two decide? Did he ask you?

Jenny

(Ignoring his question and flirting brasenly to trip him») Of course, you can take me picnicking yourself any time you like<>

Jack

(He hopes to retrieve his advantageo) . Couldn' t do thato You adopted me as your brother»

(She smiles in triumph«) Oh, I meant as a brothere Ho, Dave didn't ask me® But he's going to next Sunday® What do you think I should tell him-s-brother?

Jack

(Failing to gain ascendency, for he is merely a man, he loses his temper®) Look here, I don't give a ® ® ® (But he controls himself-= somewhat.) I don't care about Dave® (loving toward him a bit, in a spirit of compromises) Who do yon ©are about?

Jack

(Inch relieved.) About yem And about me.

-

(Very simply.) Them, for goodness sakes 9 say so.

- ■ Jack

A gent has to be careful. I ain’t wiliin.to.be just another fellah amongst five hundreds -

Jenny

X wouldn’t tolerate you, if you were.

Jack

Why do you tolerate Dave?

Jenny

He has many qualities you lack. At least he’s a thorough gentleman. You, on the other hand, loaf around playing at being sheriff. You’re hardly more than a bum— a brotherly bum.

Jack

You like the way he chases after you.

©f course. The proprieties, good manners, all that. A gentleman gives a lady a real sense of security.

= Jack ; •

(He speaks tenderly, but does not lose his wry smile.) And I don’t give you a sense of security? (Still gay,, she loses ©nly a toueh of her self^eoafllenee®) lot at alio You are pmre risk® (She loses herself even more, hut still she keeps a bright tone to her frank coquetry*) I admit neverthe­ less, I find you extremely attractive®

■ , Jack

(Again he loses his sense of timing*) Do you mean that* Do you mean, you love me?

Jenny

(She pulls back and laughso) . 0£ course I do— as a sister® (She whirls away from him around a table and across the room, showing off with every step®) And me, do you find me attractive?

Jack

(le is still quite serious*). Kiss Jenny, lookin at you tip to toe 5 takin you,, hoof , hide, , beef. ,an1..taller i gazin on you up a n ” down, sideways, frontways and baekwaysi every #ay I takes you Tucson, you make any other, gal seem to be mot worth heatin. a namin iron to brand*

Jenny

(She laughs to hide her embarrassment and pleasure®) Ho man is going to. run his brand onto me® At least mot until he6s done his share of trick-riding, calf-roping and * * * picnicking®

Jack

Seems to me a gent ought not to make himself into such a fool* If a gent is just playin with a gal, the lady-gentleman system— like you want— is, as. good,as. any® But if he's' serious, the bmck-squaw system is the only one he can adept*

The buek-squaw system? The lady-gentleman system?

. Jack

There's two ways a gent cam treat his bride* In one he deals with her like she was the Queen of the Hay, he waits on her, he comes an 8 goes, steps high or soft exactly as she commands* That wife is range and round-up boss for her outfit* 65

That, I assume, is the lady-gentleman systemo

Jack

C’rrecto The baek-squaw system is the oppositeo In this system when the back's in camp he distingaishes himself by doin nothin® He wraps himself in his blankets, camps down by the fire, and his squaw rustles his grab and lights his pipe e That lady goes pranein abomt, like the ministeria angel she is, and is tickled to death to do it® The baek-sqmaw system is my notion of how to organize a marriage®

If I adopted such a system, I would expect, in your terms, that the buck be responsible for the "bee? on the hook" and the "flour in the barr1!*’? and I would want top grade beef and white flour® The buck is to provide the blankets, the skins for clothing, and the teepee| and I would want Hudson’s Bay blankets, the softest doeskins and a large airy teepee® .

• Jack

(He does net notice her impersonal point of view®) Granted but you wash the blankets, make the clothes, and throw up the teepee,, your­ self o

«Jenny = = a e = a = 6c£$o. -

And to cook that beef and sourdough, I would always insist on plenty of wood and water around any campsite I might be asked to settle on®

Jack...

But you fetch it, and, being the hunter, I pick the campsite and the time to change it, no matter how frequent or how far®

Jenny

I would expect freedom from interference in my personal business® I shall be financially and socially as independent from my husband as possible; what money I have will be my own to invest as I like® 66

Jack

Just.as loag as such activities dem't cross trails with my ©wb 0 Mow as to papooses » o e

Jemmy

I ’ll have as many or as few as .suits me= I wouldm 1 1 care what any husband wanted, om that scoreo ;

■ Jack good. enough9 hut I won’t have you hector in or pesteria me with them a Bote on them all you want, but don’t front them up between us and you’re not to let their willy-nilly whims discommode my comforts » . or y o m o . . ’ , . ' "

Oh my children will not discbtnmode their father but he must not in­ terfere with raising them.G The father’s proper place, as you have said, is before the fire wrapped quietly in his blanket«

Jack

Then we agree on the buck-squaw system?

% l t e definitely, since you explain it® It is an. excellent arrange­ ment®

Jack .

Them I don’t need to go through them proprieties you talk of.-

(As if she had not heard this.) Yes indeed® I like your buek-squaw systemo I shall have to make certain that I explain it to whomever I marry.

Mell comes unnoticed down the stairs. .

. : Jack -

But I thought o o o you and I . . . weren’t we talking about gettin married? (So frank and innocents) Iky yes 0 Yom were giving me good brotker= ly advice and I thank you for ito

" Jack

Suesm, you know I wasn.’t talkin to you as a brothero

I wouldn’t talk about such theory with any man except a brothero At least, not until we had become engaged, properly and with proprietyo ©h, you’ve come for me. Far©o I’m sorry* 1 got all taken up talking to my big brother, Jack* Bid you find a dress for Suzahna? I must - see what you’ve found*

Jenny goes briskly up the stairs and Well starts to follow her*

■ Hell , ' ' '■ : .... , * . (Laughingo) Yes, we found three= (Jenny is already gome* Nell comes down to Jack who has slumped into a chaire lell is brusque and more amused than sympathetic *) Have a drink?

Jack

Thanks, Eell,?, I need ito

Nell goes to the bar, pours him a drink and brings it to the tableo She does not intend to stay so she does not sit down* After a moment of amused silence, she teases him*

Nell

Well, brother Jack, did you lose again?

' Jack

She wants me to court her* To jump hoops for her* I won’t do it*

Nell

Well it looks to me like she already got you. jumpin hoops* What will you do next? 68

Jack

I ’ve got to make her admit she loves rae before she gets me trottin be­ hind her with them other five hradred gents 0

Shortarm

(He enters through the front door and goes behind the bar, speaking with quiet sympathy=) Hooie! Miss Abby has opened her war agin with Sam and Boco I ’m goin to set tap drinks—-they’ll need ’em bad.

lell

Are they headia hyer?

Shortarm ;

Wo ma-amo But Sam and Doc is due to bust free any minute and I wants to be ready for ’em.

I reckon I ’ll slip back upstairs -and leave you and Jack to lick Sam’s wounds. I shore don’t like beim a woman on the one hand, and one of the boys on the other®

Hellle goes up as Bave comes in through the side door.

Dave fhat shore is a hell-fire cyard game, and the Stingin Lizard is the devil’s own gambler. Some Bog Town Mine gents has brought new money to the game and the Lizard’s been takin it away from them, too. Ifn he wanted to leave, he’Id have to shoot his way out.

Jack

Then there is no sense goin over there now.

Doc enters briskly and holds one of the swinging doors ©pen for Enright who follows him hot and harried with the terrier Aaron Green snapping at his heels.

Green

Miss Abby knows her rights. Without a certificate, she would not be properly married. 69

(Waving M m away and belting down the drink which Shortarm hands him.) Ehen let her stay singleo

Jack.

What is this certificate?

Green ■ .

A marriage certificate» A legal dcemmentg dmly processed and sub­ scribed, which enables two parties to marry in the eyes, of the terri­ tory =

Jack

Hiss Abby thinks she needs one?

Green .

(He displays an impressive document 0) Without this document, she knows that her father can challenge her wedding, proclaim it null and void, and tear her from her young swain’s arms s.-

■ Jack

I ’ll pay your fee for the license<,

Green

A fee cannot buy this document— not in f©mbstone0

Which yere is where you gets bucked off, Jacka

Green .

You see, Mro Moore, this document must be signed over the title of Municipal Magistrateo Tombstone has no Municipal Magistrate* However, if by seme circumstances. Tombstone should hold elections— say this afternoon?— I would consider running for Municipal Magis­ trate*

Maybe you wouldn’t be alive to count the ballots. Easy Aaron* Qreen . ,

Judge Enright, mo one la Tombstone would shoot, me® . I am unarmed <> Excuse me gentlemen9 I must confer with Miss Jenny„

Jack

You.won’t get no help from Tucson» She’s happy thinkin Miss Abby is goia to get married*

Dec

Wrong again. Jack* Tucson devised, this scheme ? she convinced Miss Abby that legal protection was necessarye

Green

All quite trme 0 It was Miss Jenny who first asked if I had such a documento She is magnificent# together we are indubitably des­ tined to wim* I must find the lady* (He starts toward the stairs =)

Jack

You won’t find her up there, Easy Aaron*

Green

(Hesitating at the stairso) How so?

Jack

Them ladies left here, efaatterln and gigglin® They must have bought half the ribbons and furferow in the New York Store by now*

Green

Then, I shall pursue her to that establishment * Good day, gentle­ men = •

He goes serenely out the side door*

- - Doc ■ j Jack, why did you tell lawyer Green Miss Jenny’s whereabouts*

Jack

Tucson Jenny is upstairs* - 71

Earig&t

!Thea soffletMn9 s got to be schemed to keep her there mm til the preach­ er or ELegg gets back to eamp 0 le still needs a dievershun«

■Jack ■

Elegg eeuld land here any times And he’ll land shootime

I got a couple of the boys up on Boot Hill watchin all three trails into eampo So we’ll get word when ELegg is eomim®

: D©c ' ’ - :

Sam is counting on you, Jack, to prepare a trap for themo

Jack

We’ll let ’em come in to town and we’ll drop a lariat over both of them, pull them off their feet and take their gtmso

Dave .

That ain’t p ’liteo Miss Lars'my is a lady®

■ Jack

It’s the only way® We can't shoot it out with her®

l o c .

It’s risky but I see no other way®

' Enright

I wisht we could hobble Miss Jenny that easy®

-- Doc

Sam, I ’ve always noticed that weddings are as contagious with women as bullet wounds in a border town with men® If you want to divert Miss Jenny, why not set Bare to romancing her? Siss. Abby's coming nuptials must have softened Tucson's heart®

Dave Tutt, what air you doin to permote yer romance with said lady? 72

Dave

(Broadly.) Miss Jenny premised me a final answer next Smndayo

. b r i g h t

JSmaday is too late* Females is like a rabbit in a brush pile, you gotta shake things up a let to,make ’em come -out. low, if someone would prance in here and shoot Dave up some, Tucson would declare her love right there o

Jack

Dave, Doc’s right and so is Sam. L e t ’s do it, boy 0 I’ll shoot you up and Tucson will come down and swarm all over you, that’s certaino

Dave

Hold on, you don’t need to be so enthusiastic about shootin me.

Jack

We won’t really do no shootine You run out and get yerself painted with some blood fr## that half steer Billie Bowlegs tried to rustle. S$lear your face with it and w e ’ll do some play'actin. (lave hesi- • tateso) It’ll keep you from havin to propose to Tucson next Sunday.

. Dave ’

I’ll do *er« (He exits out the side door on the run.)

Jack

And Sam, there’s no tellim what Tucson will do, so we got to play the game right to the end. You got to denude me of my gun and prom­ ise Hiss Jenny that the Committee is goin to hang me high and dead. I want Tucson to be certain that I ’m goin to swing.

Doe

That’s right, Sam. Everything must proceed just as if Dave were dead, or else Miss Jenny will know it’s a bluff.

I ’ll call for a rope and declare you a gone gent right from the start. 73

Bee

At best^, we 9re playiag a da&geroas game*

Jack

1 sure hope jer right about weddings and women 9 Dee..

Bee

lyem women, with strong objeetions to. marriage-«?and some ladies have these moods 5 however temporary— =even sueh steut women sueeumb to a passion for the. ceremony® Often 9 i t ’s not marriage that women, desire9 but the wedding ceremony9 itself® -

Jack

Short arm 9 you run out on the street and holler Dave's been killed® The more yellin there is the more confused she'll be®

Shortarm

Yes sir®

Enrightn n nr m ■ "r n.y r 1 iinrr*h 1 mumea ,

Doc, don't let the gal loiter around lave too long®

Doe

I'll perform my role, Sam® .

Enright

Sail now this is shorely a bony-fide diplomatic dievershum®

lave re-enters9 his hat pulled down over his face® When . he gets to Jack, he uncovers and reveals his face and jacket comically smeared with blood®

Dave

How do I look?

Jack

Bike a near-sighted butcher on slaughterin day® Don't forget to play possum until Tucson declares herself ® We better let go about four rounds apiece ® 7%

Bare

Let rer goe

Ihey separate„ draw and shoot®. Jack knocks over a table and some chairs« Bave shoots oat onto the street thromgh the windows eliciting a scream and the sound of jranaing feet, Jack shoots twice into the floor at Bare 1 s feetDave jwaps im surprise and irritation and runs up the stairs to the landing as Enright and loe laugh <> SEhe m s een door at the top of the stairs opens and Jenny screams o Jack shoots twice more as Jenny$ followed by Sell and Sues rushes down into view. Just as she .reaches .Daves, he. tumbles forward? falling headlong down the lower flight of stairs. As he hits bot­ tom? he rolls over end comes up on both knees facing Jack and raises his pistol aiming slowly and carefully, Jenny, on the landing, screams again.

Dave!

Dave squeezes off one more shot grazing Jack’s neck or ear causing him to howl with surprise.

Jack!

Jack shoots into the floor in front of Dave who also yelps as the splinters hit him. He then dramatically expires =.

Jenny

(Bumming to Bave,) Dave, Dave! Blood! (She shakes him, and pulls him up into her arms,) Oh David, David, don’t die, (She hugs him to her breast and he grins with pleasure,) Oh, he’s dead, (She lets him drop so that his head thuds loudly against the wooden floor,) Jack, Jack you’ve killed my David, You’ve killed my big boy, David,

Doc

Gome away. Miss Jenny, David is dead. Gome now, (She rises,)

(faking Jack’s gun,) I never thought I ’d take .your gun away from you. Jack Moore, . But this gun play was ©nneeessary and badly han­ dled,. I ’m agoim to see that you hang for it. 75

There is general excitement as Abby and Aaron Green come inc. Shortarm brings a blanket and he. Doc, and Sam pick Dave m p 9 lay him on the faro table, and cover M m . Hell examines the damage to the saloon. Chairs and tables are righted and general positions - are taken for the ensuing trial scene® They all speak simultaneously a n d , through the pandemonium, the following may or may not be intelligible®

Well, I ain’t ever® Jack Moore to shoot. Dave■Tutt = Makes no sense at all® . •

Doc -

Bring me that horse blanket, Shortarm.

I never figured to see two gents like these shoot up a place so promise’us. Seems like a no-good Apache could put slugs more direct­ ly inter a feller am* not shoot up so much furniture.

Hell

(Going to Jack.) Whatever for did you hafta do it Jack?

Everybody set yerselfs. We ain’t goia to have no such ranikaboo as this go on. The Stranglers Committee is eenvenin right now®

(To Jack.) Oh Jack. What happened. .How could you and Dave . • .?

Jack —

(Most sternly.) I can’t say why. It was between him and me, man to man.

Sue

Oh Jenny, I ’m right sorry. War lave yore man® Don’t cry homey; don’t take on, now.

• ' Jenny -

(Who indeed is crying.) Poor David. Poor young David. 76

Skortarra, hold this ye^e gem. on this onteast*

Shortarm

(Produces a short length of rope and a lariat o He gives the lariat to Allen and ties Jack’s hands in behind himo) Here’s a couple lengths o’ rope that’ll be the end o’ Jack Moore«

- ■ Enright '

Set down;, sbt downo

Jack ■■ •

(Performing his more usual rolfo) All right everybody, set deem* Committee is in session0 (She-pandemonium stops and they sit down®)

. ■ ■ ■ . , lell .

I still cain’t see why Jack Moore’d kill Dave frntt® . fhere is some­ thin wrong progressin hyer®

Miss Jenny, you say the word an* I ’ll put a bullet in where his murderin thoughts are afore the Stranglers eveh gets a ehamet to improve his light-footed dancino

■ Enright , .

Don’t you go feelin discouraged none, Tucson® We’ll fix Jack Moore so that his black hearted spirit won’t be an hour after Dave’s gettin across to the other side® ■ .

(Bising») Mb you won’t® I won’t have it® Jack,Moore is going,to have a regular trial with a regular lawyer®

Miss Jenny, you answer me one question first®. Ifn Dave Tutt warn’t dead an’ you had another crack at him, would you or wouldn’t you marry him? J esmy

(faking a step toward Oh Dare I (fuming back.) I refuse to answer any questions until you set up a proper court. I want Jack to have an attorney 0 I want lawyer Green!

Jack ,

I hack fucson’s play.

Enright

You do?

' Jack ; :■ -

Saffl it 1111 provide a diversion for fomhstone. Besides* defendia. * Me for havin murdered Bave- is likely to make Aaron Green1s reputa— tiesa in the West. We gotta give him the ehanct.

Enright

How it shorely will do that® Squar Green step forward® This yere villain wants you to he his defense /lawyer before we hang him high and daid® Yore about to lose yore second ease in Tombstone®

Green

(Coming forward®) As Hiss Jenny’s barrister, I shall oblige-=and I shall not lose® Who is the first witness for the prosecution?

Bee

.Why Sam Enright knows as much about what happened as anyone®

Green

Whereas, by the Code of Ethical Deportment, hereinafter referred to as "said code,” it is the privilege of a Municipal Magistrate to perform all functions of the private .citizen, hereinafter referred to as his private functions; whereas by the edicts of ’’said cede,M it is the deplorable duty, hereinafter referred to as ’’his dirty duty,” of a Municipal Magistrate when acting as the justiciar not to prejudice the»findings of any given litigation with any knowledge of fact or evidence,.hereinafter referred to as ”the truth ,11 of which he might be possessed; and whereas,.you. Judge Enright, are indeed possessed of information which constitutes ’’the truth” ; wherefore it is possible to construe that ”the truth” if told may prejudicially influence the outcome of this litigation; and whereas$ the Munici­ pal Magistrate cannot perform in this court both Mhis private fume™ tioms" and ’’his dirty duty9P he must perforce, choose he tween the two 5 and alsoj wherefore said party is the only Municipal Magistrate in this communityj aad 9 whereas he cannot abdicate his position as justiciar; and whereas and also wherefore this party has no alter™ native but to abjure "his private functions" and perform "his dirty

rag

(To Doco) What did he say?

Poe

He said you can't testify$ since you're the judge®

■ ' Green

Next witnesso

Doe

I'll take the stand®

Green

Bid you yourself see this alleged shooting®

Poe

I did®

Green

Where were you?

Doe

Bight in this room®

Green

What were you doing at the approximate time?

Doe . , living under that table ® ' Greem

And when the fatal bullet was fired?

Doe

Palling the table in front of me*

Green

Then you did not see the fatal bullet fired?

Doc

I did not exactly see the bullet „ « o

• Green

Did you see the fatal bullet?

Doe

A bullet is hard to see wiien it <. = 0

Green

Yes or no! Bid you see the bullet?

. Dec le®

Green

Do you know the defendant?

Doc

I do®

Green

Is he an honorable man? . .. Green

Weald yom say he has homeeidal tendeneies

' 2 2 S

Hos bat I 8ve seen him kill a few 0 □ o

. ' • v Green , •

Jmst answer the question <,

IgS

Be does not have hemoeidal tendenciess

Green

Bo yom know the alleged victim?

, Boc

©atre fmtt? Certainly. .

1 Green- lave you ever been him draw his gun?

Boc

Gertainlyo.

. • Green

Was he competent in this enviable art?

. ■ B o c 1

Save was the fastest draw in camp =>0 0

Green

(Delighteds) The fastest?

Doe .

Yes 9 except of course, for Jack 0 0 0 •green

(Alarmed*) Never miaeL ' ,

Bo©

Ton asked, o . ,

green

Then you have seen Dave Tutt shoot against others<

4 .# -'•{' Doe

Several timesa .

§reen -

In serious com'bat?

Doe

Is tiiere another M a d ?

green

You have seen him kill men?

Doc

Dave's aim was accurate.

green • lave you ever drawn against a man.

Do©

I have 9 , ; >

Green

In mortal combat?

Doc lever any other.wayo ... 8 2

Greem

You are not presently armed, o

Boo

I;am^ . indeed®

Green

Would you draw your weapon on me, for the court?

Boo

lot unless you want me to put a fcullet into you®

Green

Your profession is to take bullets out of men?

;Boe

It is®

Green

But you would put one in me?

Boo

(truly indifferento) I'd as soon put one in you as take one out®

Green

And Mr® tutt's former killings®

Boo

What of them?

Green

You approve of them?

Bos

1 do® . 83

Green

This witness is excused o He has discredited himself § he has admitted that he and the alleged victim are both hardened murderers» The victim is guilty| the witness is guilty; ipso facto the accused is innocento Next witnesso

Jack

I see the only way left is for me to confesso VI shot, him, all righto I plugged him square = :

Green. . ;

Strike that from the record; the accused' was addressing his lawyer® Such conversations are sacred add must remain so to protect the guilty® (To Jacko) lout,, sir, cannot testify against yourself | , if you. do so,, you will ruin, my reputation„amd. in.that .event I .will ...... have you declared insaneo, Novi, then,,,the .court, has.. seen, that there are no witnesses| this is therefore a case ©f circumstantiai evi­ dence® To substantiate murder with circumstantial evidence, the state must prove ability, motive, and corpus delecti® The Defense has already shown that, the alleged victim was a fast draw and an accurate marksman® The Defense would new like t© submit as evidence the case of Bona Anna County versus. lumbolt,. 1871» in which by sci­ entific experts it was proven that in the face of such accurate firing it is physically impossible to dodge bullets and at the same time accurately place onein the body of the person firing®

Enright

Tighten up yore reins, there®. I've seem maybe a dozen such maneuvers performed in just the last year®

' . ; -Green , .

Your honor, we are not interested in what you have observed® We are interested in the law® I repeat this precedent has established— by expert testimony,. expert.testimony^ that such a feat is impos­ sible ® Therefore the state cannot show the ability of the accused® Second,, is there in this room anyone who will say What the motive may have been?

Jack

I can® 84

Green

Be quieto Ho ©ne -else?^ © f .eomrse net 0 .vBiey were excellent friends» And now a&. to the .corpus d e l e s , t i (He .goes to the, body of D#xe futt, who has been demonstrating various degrees of .activity...through this episode0 Indeed* only the restraint provided by Shortarm has kept him from revealing himself 0 Green throws back the blanket and pulls lave into a sitting positions) Whom do we have here? A noble citi­ zen? A man in whose role as a cowboy has helped to. shape the building of the West? A lone rider 9 dedicated to his employer, to his free­ dom, to his horse, to his gun? (He drops Dave») HeI This range bum, like all other saddle tramps called cowboys, was a dull sot of a boy© Without imaginationwithout intelligence, without ambi­ tion © A farm-Worker on horseback© A killer who Was ready to draw his gum on anyone who interfered with his besotted existence© More­ over do we have a corpus delecti© Where is our coroner?s report? Doctor, did you extract the bullets and submit them with a report to prove the man is dead?

Doe

Ho, I didn't© But there lies the corpse, itselfe

Green

Ho written report? "De non apparentlbus, et non existentibms, eadem est ratio: ' . That which does not appear will not be; presumed to exist. Is a maxim on which rules of justice as well of law will insist© Thus writings not offered in Court, failing reason sufficient, Are held by the Court to be non-existent«" Your own maxim. Doctor© (He turns to Jenny©) How, madam, who is hoisted on whose own petard? •

' Doe " .

Your point. Squire, and well done, Sir©

G r e e n ,, .

I proclaim a mistrial© The prosecution has no case© The defense has proven; A© That since the defendant was dodging bullets him­ self , he did not have ^opportunity" to commit the crime© B© That the defendant had no motive© 6 . That, whereas the law demands that a Coroner's report on the body be supplied to prove the existence of a corpus deleeti and whereas there is no such report, that there­ fore there is no corpus deleeti© Ho opportunity, no motive, no cor­ pus deleeti therefore, there has been no murder, lave Tutt cannot be dead© Dave Tutt is net dead© Defense demands that this case be dismissed© He marches triumphantly across the room and sits down next to Jaeko There is a long silence»

I never, .seen., nothin so muddy or so much since the last M g flood on the Pecos Hiver*

■' E 2S '

Gents, hereinafter time in Tombstone will be counted .forewards and backwards from the date of this remarkable feat of logic and oratory®

Jack '

There ain.’t. a. camp this side of the divide that can claim an event more auspicious an" unique,

Jenny

Is Jack Moore acquitted, Mr® Enright?'

' Enright '

Now don’t you fret, Tucson, Jack is goin up. in.a blase o’ glory but he’s goim up® Take him out, gents and swing him clean and.high,

- Gz'oea

I object. Your Honor® My defense is airtight by every precedent of the law®

I keep tellin you, we ® ® ® • n

Green

(Defeated®) Yes, I know® We don't practice law® Me practices facts®

Jenny

This isn’t a fair trial® I want a regular judge and jury® Earight

aia*t one for over a kmirei miles. Skis.is all the trial he

Lawyer Green, do somethings-say something0

Earight

(He becomes kindly and qmietly persmasive«,) fake Jack oat e* her sight so she can foeas on lave some=

Jack

I'm ready boys* I'm ready*

Jenny . r

(Banning to Jack and throwing her arms around him*) !©«, I won’t let them take yon* Mr* Enright, save him for me* Don’t hang him, please don't* I love him, Mr* Enright* I love him*

General excitement and, all talking at once: "There, I told you, Cherokee*M **I won't let 'em hang him, honey*" She's » plmmb locoed with grief *" "Is this yefe maiden playia some game on this camp?*1

%let yon-all! (To, Roc *) She thinks Jack is lave* (Tenderly*) M s s Jenny, are you conscious o', whose neck yore floatin around?

(Disconcerted and impatient*) fhy it's Jack Moore's*

You don't want we should hang Jack?

Ho, I don't* I don't* I love him* Please don't hang him*

Enright

You love Jack? But you was goim to marry Dave* 87

He, nevero I want to marry Jaek»

Save

(Sitting up0) Ion do?

Yes and I don't ©are who knows

Here .pandemonium • "Ehat for a game do you eali this any~ hew?” ’’I s he daid?1' *Bave. -Sntt, what are you up to?" ’’Lookee he ain't daid nohow?'* ■ "This is the most onordimary trial I ever seeo" "Squar Green was righto He ain't daido"

Dave

Is that for keeps 9 Tucson?

Green

I thought you were deado

. lave . ■ .

Ihieh I was ded.de But them words of logic you spoke over my corpus deleeti brought this dull sot of a boy back to life*

Green

A. ploto It was a plot to make fools of use My reputation would be established9 they saido

(Incredulously to Doe0) , lid you know lave wasn't dead?

loc ■

Yes ma=am$ I reckon we dido

I 88

Green

(i’sriousljs at the deer*) fhey knew® fhey knewo Geatleaea9 I ad= ffiit defeat? my repmtatiem wemld never survive this blow throughout the Mesto, I shall board the .^astbound stage today® Bat others will come® My kimd will prevail in the end® (He exits®)

(fo Enright®) Why, why did yea do it?

Enright

Well e e e Bee and Jack and me ® ® ® I don 1t know, Miss Jenny®

(Almost in tears of rage, she confronts Jack® have, who mow realises the danger, Stands behind Jack®) Gf all the dirty, deceitful, das­ tardly tricksl Playing games ® ® ® making a fool of me® Why?

Jack

How come on, Jenny? it was all for fun®

iSSSZ

Fun? When you knew— you knew how I loved you®

She looks around for something to throw at him, spies a heavy whiskey glass, and grabs it up®

Jack

I just wanted you to say it— so I’d know for sure®

Jenny

Gh, you did? You did 8 Gh you did!

Jack

How Sis, don't throw that® Don't ® ® ®

She throws it and both Jack and Dave duck? it goes through one of the window panels® She charges and they scramble around the table® 89

Jenny

Y©m louts, ^yott overgrown pranksters»* Gome bab'k herea Playing games. Stand still9 yom cowards. Haven’t yon anything better to do? Why aren’t yen out roimding up Ezekiel?

Jack

(He is enjoying himself immensely but he keeps-his distance as she tries to close in on him.) How Sis, you’re gettin a little upset.

Jenny

Sis? »I£ you ever call,me that again « . « where is it? I left it this morninge Where, is..my broom?.

She looks quickly around the room and sees it in the comer behind the bar. She rums for-it and returns flourishing it. .Armed,.she proves more than a match for them despite-the.tables. Save,' poor boy, fares the worse. She drives them omt=-punctuating her abuse with blows— through the main doors and down the street.

You oafs. You jackanapes. You clowns, you simple-minded clowns. You . . o you double, you triple clowns. You countrified, cloddish, uncouth clowns, love you, marry you? Heither of you! I ’ll never even talk to you,, you . . . you comedians . . » buffoons. You jack- pudding, cap and bell clowns. Set out, clowns. Eun, clowns. (They dodge out the door where she hesitates.) Find Ezekiel, you clumsy, bumbling, coltish, fumbling clowns. (She follows them down the street out of hearing.) Find Ezekiel clowns. . Bun clowns. Eun you witless, worthless, dull, deceiving, banal, boorish bumpkins. .

They are followed out by everyone except Doc, Enright, Shortarm, and Hell. As the crowd fades out of hearing, these four turn away from the doors.

Doc

I believe we overplayed a mediocre poker-hand this once, Sam.

Hhen Tucson took after Jack" and passed me by, I felt like I missed bein run down by an old time buffalo stampede. 90

fell

Gome ons gents drinks is still on me 0

fbatik y e , Faro ® SEhis.yere Valley fan keeps a man prepared for all eTemtmalitiess, w M e h they r m s permise'ms aa.* frequent today=

Cherokee Hall enters quietly through the side door and goes directly back of the hare

. Hell

Well, there you are, Cherokeeo ,

H a n

Howdy Faro e » @ gents» Excuse me Shortarm o % needs my warbags „

Shortarm moves to one side and Hall brings out from beneath the bar his saddlebags« He takes these directly to the faro table and, taking cards, chips and all necessary equipment and money from them, he sets up the table in prep= aratiom for dealing far©« The men greet him warmly and follow his preparations with interest=

Howdy, Cherokee e

Doc

Cherokeeo

• Hell

Where8ve you been, Cherokee* You shore missed the excitement*

Hall

Been havin some excitement of my own*

What kind of excitement? Samblia kinds Poker to be partie°laro

Bee- ■

I heard that there was a game over ia the baek room of the Sew York Store® A high stakes game® ■

Hall

That*s where the game started® I caught up with it at the log Town Mines®

Hove up there to find new blood?

Hall

That's right® The game got new money twiet and it all went to the. same pocket till I joined it®

BAll ' ' ■ ' ;

Whose pocket is that®

Hall ' .

That Stingih Lizard as was in here this morain®

loc

Is the game still going on?

Hall

What's left of it=—whieh is the Stingin Lizard himself=— is moyin down here® The Lizard didn't like playin poker with me-<=seems I ’m the only gent in camp that could win a hand from him this morain® That Lizard gent shorely does admire not to lose®

- Boc .

Then he thinkss he can beat you at faro?

Hall

He’s coaim to try® 92

Boc

I see no reason, to wait on that degenerate <> Turn yomr game, Cherokee9 and let me be the first to lay a bet against its Two stacks of white and a stack of bine, liss Nellieo

fell

(Ha© has moved into her natural position on a high stool as spotter and cashiero) There yon be*

- * —yjiriEnright rj ;j 11 rV* mu *m* tu

Which it speaks volumes fer the law~abidin temper o* this camp that gents like the Lizard lasts as long .as they do* I ’ll take a stack ©* whites, Faro 0

Enright

What limit do yon give?

■ Sail lease limits as always, hundred dollars on any single bet.

BOO ;

(Laying omt white chips.) lot to inaugurate your Tombstone career with a parsimonious wager, I want to cover every card, middle to win against the ends.

An’ I. coppers you, on the king, on the tres, an* on the deuce@ Turn your game, Cherokee<,

The swinging doors burst open and Stingin Lizard enters with a whoop. Se is more excited, more intoxicated than before. This intoxication is due less to Bed Dog Whiskey than to the triumph of his gambling spree and his natural meannesso r

Lizard

Eeeyaaai I'm the Stingin Lizard and I'm on the prowl for fresh game. (Goes to the bar.) Don't rouse me Shortarm with the sight of a lone glass o' whiskey. Set me up a bottle. 95

Shortarm

(lavlBg pBsh.ed.,him ,a bottle and refused M s money o) Drinks is on the house todayc .

Lizard

Thars my dust for I don’t take no favors as I don’t intend to give none o- •

Boo

Bets are down, Cherokeeo Turn yore games

Lizard

Eeeeyaal Hold that eyard §heeer©keee.s I ’m in on this deals. Lady Luck's my woman today so get ready to be stampeded, f'Longhairo" Today, when I put out my hand, money comes to it* I stripped every gent in this eamp, and I’m goin to strip you.

Hall

(In steady tones o) Sit yer chips down a

Lizard

I'm a wolf with a barbed=wire tail, but jest cause you is new in ; camp. I ’m agoin to tell ya, p'lite, this one time* I don’t buy no chipso I puts money in play, and when I wins, I wants money aeomin baeko

Hall

Then put down yer dust® ; Ter holdin up the game®

Lizard

Tell me, dees that name "Cheerookeee" explain them M g h cheek bones and slitty eyes o’ your 8n? That’s a hundred dollars on the king coppered, a hundred on the eight open, and I coppers every bet al­ ready laid with fifty®

Enright ,

(Low. and quiet®) More 1 n five hundred dollars®

Hall

Is all bets down? Lizard

(After loe and Enright have nodded*) Seein the way you plays poker<, I got my suspects about any game you'Id run, Gheerookeee, so turn, yer eyards and turn ’em square® If you don’t 9 I ’ll peel the h a ’r and hide plumb off the top of yer,head®

Cherokee

(Having indifferently contemplated the Lizard, he silently turns up several cards®) Middle wins agin the ends® Luck’s with you on the first play. Bee®

■ Dos

A good ©men for the future®

The gambling becomes very intense, there is no conversation and all movements are rapid and precise®- The gamblers place their bets without calling them and the dealer calls only the winning cards, in low even tones®

Hall

Set down your bets, gents® All bets down? Beuce® Eight in spades® Deuce again® Lay your bets® Seven of hearts® Ace high® %ueen of spades®

Lizard

Gheerookeee, with me bein about five hundred dollars in the hole, and as I don’t want to be led to utter ruin, I now asks what for a limit do you put on this game?

Hall

Amigo, you’re in yere to make the action interesting I sees that® I ’ll violate my business principles and take the day off to enter­ tain you® The bridle is plumb off you, amigo®

Doe

Ho limit, Cherokee?

. Hall

Any idea you has of baakruptim yourself quicker than you been doin, will be met with enthusiasm® 95

Lizard

You’re sartia © 9 that? I reckon that a thousand dollar bet would scare you right up a tree, Mr® Cheeeroekeee.Hall«

Hall

I never likes to see a gent strugglin in the coils of error® Put down your bet and I 611 draw on it®

Lizard

One thousand on the high eyard open® (None of the others bet®)

Hall

Ires® Eight® High eyard open pays double® (He peels off several bills to Lizard®)

Wall Lizard® Sow mebbe. you'll ease off that pole-eat attitude o' youra®

Lizard

(Waving the two thousand®) Eeeeyaaa! I'm the Stingin Lizard® Enright8 I ain't half through with this slitty eyed Gheeerookeee® I'm goin to rid this camp o' you® I'm goin to drive you out fer keeps® Howsoever, gents, if there is anythin I turns from with loathin, it’s violence and deevastation® I tharfore purpose to urge him out o' town by breakin his bank® Gheeerookeee, I'm goin to play it the hard way am' take a risk of splits® One thousand coppered on the high eyard® Bom't that skeer you?

Hall

(fo Lizard®) I tells you what® I don't know what wads o' wealth them pore old clothes o' youra conceals, but you just climb onto the table, soul, body and bankroll® Set your worthless self smack on the play you want to make and I'll turn, cyards for the whole shootin match®

Lizard

(He finds himself at a disadvantage as his threats do not frighten Hall® How he, too, is serious®) That's three thousand on the table am’ here's another three hundred® loll yer game fer that jess as it lays®. 96

Hall

Straighten mp jer dmst® Bon6t leave it spraddled all over the board. 1 6in ready to tarn eyards for it hat we ain’t gein to argme none as to where it lays after the eyards fall. ffea=spoto King. Seven. The house wins.

Hall turns up cards and there is a low murmur. Lizard backs off, turns and goes to the bar. Hall rakes in the money keeping his eyes on Lizard. Lizard drinks a large drink and then comes back to Hall.

L izard

1© you know where I hails from? •

, Hall

Prom.time to time I has bits and snatches o’ worthless information pushed outer me. But so far I escaped all news of you completely.

' Lizard

Where I come from, which is Missouri, they teaches babies two things— never to sass yer la, and never let no eard=>thief down you.

Hall

That’s highly thrillin to know ’bout your youthful trainin.

L i z a r d .

I now announces that yore brand of poker and far© is both a skinnin game. Therefore, I returns for my .money, ah’ to be frank, I returns . shootin.

They draw and Hall shoots Lizard. After the smoke clears Doc Peets steps forward and examines Lizard.

Hall

Is he dead. Doc. ...

Inright and Doe lift Lizard to the same resting place where Dave had lain and cover him with the same blanket. As clean a shot as you could wanto I congratulate you, Cherokee0 He*,s. hit just, above the heart® He’ll die before last drinks tonight® I’m going to need my horse; someone fetch Miss Jenny®

Hall

It looks like I has more o’ this klnda thing to do than any other gent in the territory® It shorely palls on me®

Enright

Shortarmv fetch Jack Moore and Tucson Jenny® (ghortarm exits®)

Doe

Belax, Lizard, lie back®

Shortarm

(Out in the street.) !o, it ain’t Clegg, it’s a feller called the Stingin Lizard® Set Jack Moore® Here he comes® Jack® Jack Moore®

■ ■ Doc lhat is it, Lizard?

Lizard

Brag me outem here an’ pull off my boots® I ain't allowin for my old la in Missouri to be told as how I dies in no gin-mill; which she abominates gin-mills ®

Doe

We’ll get over to the 0® K® lestaurant® Miss Jenny will nurse, you there®

Jack and Dave ride up as Shortarm calls to them®

Shortarm

I ’ll take yore horses®

Jack

Where’s the shootin? 98

S h o r t a m

Insideo

Jack and Dave enter quietlyo With the easy self assurance of a lawmans Jadk goes immediately to examine the body* He is stunned with dismay and.remorse, immediately recog­ nizing the victim*

Jack - foo late* lave 9 we found Boone, too late*

Hall

(His back is to the group but he turns to them quickly*) Boone? What do you mean? Hiss Suzanne's Boone?

Jack

Yes* Stingin Lizard is Boone* This is my fault*

Hall - -

Doc, how long will he live*

Doe

Until last drinks tonight, maybe sooner* • -

The Lizard coughs painfully* Footsteps running on the wooden sidewalks and a voice calling raise no interest from those bending over the dying mans "Ho it ain’t no fun-playin; , Cherokee Hall .downed .the. Lizard*" , Jenny,.calls from .the opposite end. of the street and her voice does.raise a few heads; "Who did you say?" "The Lizard; the Stingin Lizard*" Jenny runs along the wooden sidewalk into the saloon* She is met at the door by Faro Hell*

Is this more nonsense? .

Hell

Ho Jenny* This is real*

Jenny

(Crossing to Ezekiel *) Oh my, it is the Lizard* It’s Ezekiel* 99

Hall

(Fiercely but with great stoic control„) Hers? Her Ezekiel?

Jenny

Yeso Ezekiel Booneo

. ■ ■ Sue

(Entering®) Jenny, who is it? Shy did you nun so? Ohhh ® ® e Ezekiel« It*s Ezekiel® I foua 9 him ® <, ® my man® Hy pore mam® (Them in realization, but quietly, with the stoic resignation of a country woman®) Hy baby® Oh, my pore baby®

Hall, in quiet Indian-like glide, crosses the room and goes out the side door® As he closes the door. Jack calls to him®

Jack

Cherokee? Cherokee!

There is the sound ©f a horse galloping away® Curtain® ACT THEE!

The Stranglers Committee is meeting to iiscuss the shooting= Toad Allen has retmrned and is reporting to Enright, loe, Jack, and Dave® It is now third drinks time of the after- aoono The bar is not tended, but the Committee, of course, has a bottle on the table 0 Billie Bowlegs sits quietly to one side o . . . _ , .

Enright -

None of the boys at ray place had seen the preacher?

Allen .

Not one of vem<> So we headed back to camp and here comes Cherokee Hall pirootin down the trail an" I sees easy how he’s been beatin and urgin of Jack’s hoss> Cents, I- salute that hoss= That geldia’s hooves is even now strangers to that road complete; he don’t allow them hooves to delay long enough to make no acquaintances whateverc Cents, that’s a travelin hosso

Doc •

Cherokee didn’t say where he was going in such a hurry?

"r Allen

All the talk we made was Cherokee asks is the sky-pilot Beecham at Sara’s rancho I tells him he ain’t now and he ain't beenp Then he scampers down off Jack’s pony and throws himself loose on that road studyin signs, Injun fashion* Then he hollers “Adio” and stam­ pedes on down the trail*

Jack -

He’s trackin somebody, that’s certain*

Doe

And in a hurry*

Allen

(Petulantly*) I don’t think he was trailin nothin* He and the boys couldn’t see no tracks ’cept some old. buggy raarkims on the main road* No buggy could go up that ranch road to Hr* Enright’s place *

ICO 101

Enright

That's whatevero

Allen

We saw he was ridin yer Apaloosa geldin 9 Jack, but we didn’ t guess that he stole it®

Jack

I don’t think he stole it®

' • Enright

Ifn he did steal it, then we gotta charge him with greed as well as bad manners— that constitutes daryliction of duty®

Doe

Dereliction of duty is a serious charge to bring, Sam®

Enright

I knows it®

’ Shortarm

(Sunning in®) Mr® Enright ® ® ® Mr® Enright, Ban Boggs=— standin lookout atop Boot Hill like you put rem-~says that Gherokee is seaoperin down the trail inter camp® He’s leadin a two wheel rig and Ban says they’re eomin top speed® .

:Enright

Slip on out an’ tell Ban to stay up there and watch for Old Man ELegg® (Shortarm exits out side door®) Jack, let’s hear what Gherokee has to say®

Jack

.(Finishing his drink and loosening his gun®) I ’ll ask him to come join us®

Noise outside of horses and a rig stopping® Shouts from Cherokee and running feet® §u±et female voices® 102

Allen

Cherokee1s stopped at’the 0= K» Eestamran® He’s got that Preacher with him<> "

Jack

That's who he was trailin', (He qaietly exits out the side door.)

Enright

Thar1s Faro Sell, come to take over thet preacher, Cherokee’s coain this way,

Cherokee walks through the swinging doors= The men stand back and Jack enters right behind him, guns drawn=

Jack

Stand, Cherokeeo

Hall /'

(Well.into the room, with his back to Jack,) Is that you, Jack,

Jack .

It’s me, Baise your hands, careful.

Sail," .

I ’m playin it easy. Jack,

Jack '

Doc, take Cherokee’s side a m .

" Doc

(Removing his revolver and a small side pocket derringer,) low Cherokee, if you’ll honor us, I believe you got some business with the Strangler’s Committee,

Hall

Doe, is that lizard gent gein to live? 103

Boc

The most reckless gambling mam an camp isn't taking side bets in his. favor.o Miss Susanna earn only comfort him 5 nothing else can be done,

Enright

Cherokees, this yere august body has found you guilty of daryliction of duty 0 I hyerby calls the committee to, sessiono State yer case., Cherokee 0

Hall

lhat do you-all label dereliction o’ dutyv

Enright

Any display o* greed or bad manners— and we abominates 'em so, the verdiek is always the same, a ten foot neck tie'*

Hall

Then you-all ain't riled over the shootin match?

Hone whatever* A good clean shootin like you constructed on this lizard gent ain’t no offense to a community, pervidin, natural, you stands funeral expenses*

, ’ Boc

When Sam said we abominate greed, he was referring to your theft of Jack’s horse * When he spoke of bad manners he had in mind your failure to appear before this ruling body*

Hall

The trooth is, X deserves to be hung* Twiet today I broke the pri­ mary rule o' the West* I watches that Lizard snatch Preacher Beecham from the claws o' ©Id Man Glegg this mormim and buck you all off the scent*

Enright

Which that is no doubt the only act o' hoomanity the Lizard ever did commit and he's lucky to take it with him fresh to the other shore * Howmsoever, yore witnessin it ain't no crime* 1 0 k

Hall

M © 9 but I went bulgin in tellin him how slick I thought that play was® 4 gent has no right bulgin in, that-a-wayo

Jack

What was your second mistake?

Hall

I jumped into lizard's game again when I told Sam where Lizard sent the preachero I'm plumb astounded at two such weak moments in one day 0

Allen fhat preacher weren' t at the rancho And now you show up here with him, sayin that he was<> (To the Committee.) I don't know what fer a game Cherokee is playin, but I say let's string him up* Ifn he ain't done one thing, he's only naturally done plenty of other things as merits deatho Let's hang him*

H a l l ,

Hold on, gentso How as I thinks on it. I'm some averse to bein hangedo The longer I considers such a ramikaboo play, the less likely it is I'll be there. In fact, it's almost a cinch, with the plans I have, that I'll be some'ers else,

Enright

Talk fast or you'll have to carry out them plans on the other shore =

Hall

You heard the lady awailim about her baby; an' there I'd just cashed in her man. Well, I figures that what is needed most is that preacher, so I goes trailin after him,

Allen

To have him send off Lizard proper to the Misty Beyond?

Boo

Ho, I think that Cherokee had wedding bells in mind. Exactlyo And yore hoss 8 Jack, was the best pony to hit my eye as I lit out yonder door®

Jack

You were welcome to himo Where did you find the preacher?

: Hall '

You know, Sam, how your trail crosses the first dry wash up from the main read?

Enright

Jest beneath that black butte?

. .. , „ ■: Hall . .

Yep 0 Well this Sospel-spreader lost control o’ his hoss an" it took him a mile up that wash before the rig bogged down0 The preacher’s been there since fourth drinks time this mernine You see, gents, like I says, I ’m guilty right enough, but I had to fetch that preacher fer the ladyo

Enright

(Disgustedlyo) Why don’t you keep the camp informed of these yere mystical plays you makes?

Hall

(With simple dignity9) I don’t post no notices of it as I ’m plumb ashamed o’ the deal start to finish, it bein so mushy an' benevolent»

(Still irritatedo) Well, that’s all right but the next time, don’t be so silent; leave yer trail so we sees ito The ease against Cherokee is dismissed; pass the bottleo

Faro Hell and Tucson Jenny have been standing in the door­ way since Cherokee’s last speecho Hell now speaks with some irritationo

Hell

What was you boys fixin to do, hang Cherokee? 106

Hall

Now Faro, honey 9 these gents warn1t bein omfrienSly? which you can see'we’re all pomrin drinks, ain't we?

Nell fhey,ain't been fixin to swing you none?

Hall

Any such notions rose out of a mistinderstandin and we ends the deal with a sight more mutual respeck= -

,Enright

Which I says Amen to that, M s s Nellie©

Tucson Jenny, as Tombstone's only educated woman and most officious ministerin angel, has often acted as Doctor,Beet's nurse and since he specializes in bullet wounds and other such sudden sicknesses, her present ministrations over Ezekiel Boone ought not to have dampened her temper as much as they apparently have© Her voice is as dry and cracked as a buf-. falo-chip©

Well I won't say amen to mutual respect© Doctor Peets you had better go over— oh, no hurry© Ezekiel Boone is dead©

Hall

Bid the preacher © © © did Hiss Sue and him © © ©

Jenny

The preacher married them and then Ezekiel rolled over to the wall and died©

Doe

I'd better go across© (He finishes his drink and crosses to Tucson©) As nurse and doctor, Jenny— and in all my years in Tombstone— we haven't been accustomed to corpses who have their wives standing by- . 1©7

(Quite stoico) Yes; it’s hard enough when the man is alone« Ezekiel leaves a wife and baby 0

All the men are obviously deeply troubled but Tucson reveals none of the sympathy for them that Faro Nell shows» Cherokee, for whom Hell is most concerned, seems to be suffering the leasto A perceptive observer, however, might notice that while his clear throated reply asks for no pity, his imper­ sonal and coldly remorseless tone covers a deeper feeling 0 Faro Hell, at least, sees and reacts to this.

Hall

A wife and baby, that-a-way, hangs heavy=

Hell

(Helplesso) Cherokee o

Jenny is unmoved by this and continues in her denunciations facing Cherokee and Jack unflinchingly but without a trace of sarcasm or meannesso

Of all the men in Tombstone, you two, cool long-heads are the last I would have expected to allow this to happeno

Jack

Yes ma-amo

- Hell

(Trying to help theme) Hiss Sue don’t blame no oneo

That tearless child is incapable of blaming any one for anything 0 She sees everyone’s crimes in the light of their needs instead of her own needs* Hr* Enright, Mrs* Boone would like to have her hus­ band buried immediately«,

Enright

Anythin she wantso 1©8

Mell

Miss Sme allowed that she wanted to plant Ezekiel whilst he was still wa’m and smellin sweet like a man0

Enright

(Very selemn,) fomhstone ain't never had no smeh a social play as wedding9 bat an oat an" ©at fooneral, well that's Tombstone's spec­ ialty o When we plants a gent we sends him shoatin home to heaven a

Jenny

I've already sent two men np to dig the grave= Qn» more thing 0 I don't want Mrs* Boone to be exposed at these funeral services to a town full of gunmeno I don't want to see one gun from the far end of Allen Street to the top of Boot Hill* Hot one*

Doe

We customarily end our graveside services with a ten gun salute9 Miss Jenny 0

.Jenny

Mr. *. Allen c a n , give, the salute with his squirrel rifle * That's a civilized weapon and will suit the purpose well enough* (She turns to leave and sees Billie peeking out from behind the bar.) I see Billie is back* Chain him up. Jack* We can't have him acting up during the funeral» Any arguments?

Jack

Ho ma-am* ■ iesac (She goes to the door, just a bit placated=) Remember she wants him buried right away* ,

Tucson Jenny leaves and the strain her presence produced on all assembled is made obvious by that departure =

Jack

(He removes his gunbelt=) Faro, can you accommodate these?

Hell

Shortarm'11 stash 'em for ya* 109

they all proceed to dispose of their weapons» Jack hands his guabelt to. Shortam. and then leads Billie to a chain which hangs from a bracket on the wall* He gets a key eat of his pocket shd mloeks a small padlock attached to the end of the chain= He uses thisilock to attach the chain to Billie’s collar*

Jack

I know, you ain’t goin to like this* (He blows into the padlock*). It’s been so long since I used this rig? the lock is rusty* I ’m sorry^ Billie*

Jack snaps the lock in place and pockets the key* Billie tosses his head a couple of times fin protest, then with great dignity turns his back to Jack* Jack shrugs and turns to Doc*

Jack

Doc, you’re the most fashionable gent in Tombstone, suppose you take charge of Boone’s funeralo

Enright

I t ’s yoonanimousf; you gotta oversee these obsequies and do the slam up.thing* / .

Their melancholy mood leaves them as they anticipate with excitement the pleasure of the funeral*

Boc

Gentlemen, I acknowledge the compliment, but I’ll need your help* Hiss Hellie, are those boys digging that grave.on the top of the hill?

Hell

The very top* Tucson told ’em,herself, so I ’ll give two to one no limit that’s whar it is*

Boc : .

Excellent* The added distance and elevation will guarantee a success­ ful funeral* Distance, gentlemen, is where the deceased gets action* It gives the procession a chance to spread and show up* Hext, I need the most imposing vehicle in camp*

L 110

Enright

Butterfield Stage is still in towno lew rig* jest been painted!

Bee

That*!! do just fine=.

Jack

Doe that stage takes eight days, and nights to make St. Louis. It's late now account of they been repairin it.

Doe - ■

Jack* is the deceased going to ride in-style* or are the schedule records of an eastern transport company going to show a flaw.

/ " Jack

I'll go line it up. Doe.

Bo®

We'll need the preacher.

Enright

It's yore deal* Doe. But Bible^pounders alius strikes me as out o' place, at a fooneral. They ropes at the wrong moral every time and casts gloom tharby on the otherwise cheerful celebration.

Bog -

The ladies .will, want to have him; I'll leave it to you, Sam, to see that he chooses his text properly.

Hall .

Boc, I knows my place in this $ I keeps in the background. But since I provided the corpse for this social affair, .1 claims my rights to pay all the bills.

Boc

Agreed. Sam, go t&the Hew York Store and buy that ready-made $ black-draped casket Hamilton's been trying to sell for the last six years. Ill

Enright

lhat casket?

Poe '

It*s in the hack room==the hoys mse it to play poker on*

Enright

That's a casket?

Jack

Bee! Ezekiel was playin cards om that box jmst this mornimo

Dec

Im their own day, so have most of the boys pa Boot Hillo It's time we moved it tap there for "them* ©h Saa, see if Hamilton has any white glovese

White gloves?

Doc

©mt of that shipment of fancy English duds he had sento Jack get that stagee I'm going ,t© prepare the corpse =

All exit except Cherokee and Sell o Cherokee walks to the window looking across toward the ©o K* Restauranto There is a silenceo

• Sell

(Very quietly0) You werryin over Miss Sue?

Hall - .

(After a pauseo) I reckono Did you pack up my warbags?

Sell

They're back of the bar. 112

Hall moves to the bar* He takes out his saddlebags and counts out a large quantity of money in bills, silver dol­ lars and small pouches of gold dmsto He places.this is a large cotton handkerchief from his own pocket and puts the bundle on the back bara Their conversation continues without reference if this; when he finishes they move to a table and sit dowho

fell

(Sently inquiringo) It lets me out how you gets so tangled in her traces o ’ '

HallJ'i:

(Persistent in his quiet gloomo) Whatever for? Bon01 I shoot up her man a whole let?

, Hell ' - •

Ho offense, Cherokee© I jest thought you got some special interest in that galo

Mall

Whatever would I do bein interested in any galo I can sit a boss to punch cattle, or a stool to deal faro; that’s the way the .deck was dehit for. me when.I was horned© Women, they sees that, an 8 they shies away from me©

Hell

Hone whatever; I recollects clearly that first winter I knows you, . X ain’t but fifteen year old, come the next grass when you rides into Silver City© You sets, up fare bank rival to my paw and there ain’t a dance hall gal or a boardin house lady as won’t wash an 6 iron your shirts three times a week and feel eonsoomed with good luck at the ehanet©

Hall

Shorely© Sod deals women most ®* the eyards when he’s passin out generosity that-a-way© That don’t make them same ladies take up with the likes of a saddle tramp like me© 113

• % e l l

Cherokees you jest don8t know* An 8 you donIt fool me none about Hiss Sue*

Hall

(Taking no notice of the quiet, but unmistakable emotion in her voice o) You know. Far© honey, I been ridim into camps like Silver City most o* my life* First the Mississippi Steamboats, then the Prairie Country, and then the West Coast* I’d shorely like to de­ sist* .

: Hell

Mebbe, Cherokee, mebbe you could® I knows my paw never did® Paw never even tele me where I was bom* I reckon I’m finally fixed solid here in Tombstone*

' Hall

The thing is, a, gent’s gotta.have action*, .

The side door opens and Sue Wilkins Boone comes in* Cherokee rises and Sue comes to the table and sits down*

Hall

(Quietly as he rises*) Stand by me. Hell*

- • Sue

(After she has silently sat down®) I * * * I want to thank you-all®

Hell

Whatever for, honey* f

Sue

Per bein so nice this moraine An’ I wanta thank you, Mr* Hall, fer fetohia the preacher* I reckon the whole camp knows why I needed him but that don’t matter* What matters is, my chile will have a name | his right name— Boone * I thank ya, Hr* Hall®

Cherokee is unable to do anything but simply nod acceptance of her thanks* (Without,risingo) Wall I gotta go upstairs and pack©

fell

Why, are you leavin so soon? You got no call to do that; this camp’ll hack your play whatever it be©

- . Hall

That’s whatever, Miss Sue©

Sue

If I goes right soon. I ’ll he home with my maw afore the baby’s bora©

Hall

Then there’s nothin for me to do but settle up am! fork over some dust I owes Ezekiel©

Sue

(Archin to buck©) I can’t see how you would owe Ezekiel no money©

Hall

Which I owes him, all the same© Faro would you fetch that ’kerchief tied up back o’ the bar© (She fetches it©) Ezekiel was playim for high stakes at my layout and when he gets let out so vyolent and so quick, he don’t pick up his winnins©' ■

Sue

Mr® Hall, nobody’s tole me, not even Ezekiel, and I ain’t asked© But you is the gent that shot Ezekiel, ain’t you?

‘ Hall

Yes ma-am©

'■ Sue

You didn’t draw on him; he drew on you© How’Id he come to do that; an’ him winnin? - ' 115

Hall

He warn 9 1 winnin .from me, ma-am 0 I was in a fair way o" cleamin him onto He loses on the last cyard I turns and we goes fer guns, but he's got a whole boodle ®* dmst on side bets with Doe and Sam Enright o Yon jmst ask ’em ma=-amo (He takes the handkerchief -bundle Faro Hell has brought and gives it to hero) This yere is yore money. Hiss Sueo

: ■ ; Hell . . ■ ■ , :

If nothin else, the money belongs to Ezekiel's chile 0

Sue '

I'd be able to take the stagecoach home, and I'd be able to raise his chile proper© I'll take It© (She puts the money into her pocket©)

Hall

That's right? you do .right©.

The swinging doors are pulled baekvand .the funeral proces­ sion prepares to enter© The casket is impressively draped in black and the pall-bearers wear white gloves© These are Jack, Dave, Shortens, and Preacher Beecham© Inright follows next with Tucson Jenny em his arm, and a bunch o f small wild flowers in his hand© Hiss Sue goes immediately to take Boo/Feet's arm© He is now wearing formal clothes and a top hat© He escorts Hiss Sue into position in front of Sam and Jenny© The third couple is Toad Allen and Abby© Toad has also been supplied.with a new outfit© He now wears some pieces of a Civil War Union uniform over the trousers of his green, pinfeather, suit s a hard-brimmed campaign hat, a blouse, and cavalrymen's boots© He has his squirrel rifle strapped across, his,,back and a small snare drum strapped across his front© He beats time for the funeral march on both its entrance and exit© Cherokee and Hell quickly set two chairs in an appropriate place for the casket and then take their place at the rear of the procession©

Allen raps out a beat and they move forward and circle the room in a half are to place the casket on the two chairs© The pall bearers them fall .into double file, and lead the procession in another half arc around the other side of the room back to the swinging doors© As each couple pass the casket they hesitate for one last look at this dear departed citizen, ©nee they have closed ranks near the 1 1 6

doers, the pall bearers lead the procession down to the casketo The pall bearers split and walk to each side of the room and take an almost military standing positions All others stand in a column as Doc steps forward and sol­ emnly closes the caskets Then Enright makes the opening -remarkss ;

Enright let the congregation.remove its hats and as many as can will please get somethin to ©amp ©mo (They all scatter and sitQ) Now, my friends, tha# ain't mo need of my pmttin on,any frills or gettin in any scroll work. The object, of this conyehtion is plain and straight® Mister Boone— known as the Stimgim lizard to yon all— here present, is dead. The deceased is a very headstrong person, an' persists in entertainin views as to fair play in what is plainly an honest game o' chance0 These said views results d', reetly in life everlastim fer Era Boonea This yere course o' events don’t come as no surprise to no one 0 All that aside, folks, this funeral play is a racket full o’ solemnityo Here, we wants nothin but good words & Don't mind about the troothf which the trooth ain't rightly in play at a funeral nohowo We all knows the 1 1 sard;,we knows how he has a habit of molestin shorthorns an' folks he don't know; we knows how he rides with them Tres Hermaaes rustlers afore he lights in Tombstone; how he steals a hoss over in Tucson an' downs a party in Bensono But we lays that all aside todayo For today M r 0 Boone leaves us to enter in behind the great white shimim gates o' pearl and gold which swings inward to eternal gloryo Now folks, it's to the credit o' Tombstone, as an advanced sassiety, that we has.in our midst a bona-fide sky-pilot* Folks, Severend Jonathan Beeeham will now read from the New Testaments

Beecham

(Steps forward.next to Sam® Opens, his Bible and all bow their heads®) Psalms, Chapter II, Verse 5» The Lord trieth the righteous; but the wicked and him that loveth violence, his soul hatettu Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone .« « »

Jonathan Beeeham has reached the fullest pitch of ecstasy - by his last phrases All heads are bowed even lowero Enright goes to Allen and borrows his rifle, comes back tothe cen­ ter and resting the long rifle across his folded arms, points it into the preacher’s ear 0 Beeeham stops, ruminates, then turns to the New Testamento

Preacher Beeeham will now read a selection which he picked, without any he'p from me, as fittin Ezekiel's character specials (He cocks the rifle«,) 117

Beecham,

(With each phrase, he looks doubtfully at the coffino) Matthew, Chapter 5, Verse 5% Blessed are the „ <> o meek, for they shall inherit the earth0 Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled* Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy * Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see Cod® lejoice and be glad, for great is your regard in heaven® le.are the salt of the earth* Ye are the light of the worldo

Imenc

All

Amen®. - ' "

Enright

We thanks you, Reverend® (He sits down*) Folks at a time like this singin is a.good safe break, so I calls; on Tucson Jenny to.sing a proper song* Tucson agrees, an* recallia how experience shows us at the plan tin o ’ Jack King that thar ain't no uniformity in the hymns which the congregation is possessed of individual, we decides to resort to our reg’lar fay*rite for these plantin ceremonies* Tucson will lead us in '’Far Away From His Bear Old Texas’* and all join in the chorus®

Jenny takes her place and sings each versd in a light, pretty voice* She leads them all in singing the choruses®

Jenny

The sun was sinking in the west and fell with ling* ring ray, Through the branches of a forest where a wounded cowboy lay? * Heath the shade of a palmetto and the sunset silv’ry sky. Far away from his home in Texas, they laid him down to die*

All

Far away from dear old Texas, far away from home and mother. Far away from dear old Texas, they.laid him down to die® 1 1 8

A group had gathered round him, his comrades in the fight, A tear rolled down each manly cheek as he bid a last good might „ One tried and true companion was kneeling by his side,. To stop his life-blood flowing; but, alas, in vain he tried=

' . . M l

Far away from dear old Texas,., far-away from home and mother. Far away from dear old Texas, they laid him down to die<,

, ■ £©SSZ

One glad smile of pleasure o'er the cowboy's face was spread; One dark, convulsive shadow, and the cowboy lay there dead® Far from his darling mother, they laid him down to rest, With his saddle,for a pillow and his rifle across his breast o

-VV;.,' : Ml: / Far away from dear old Texas, far away from home and mother, Far away from dear bid Texas, they laid him down to die 0

Jenny sits down; the others applaud quietly=

Enright

I now tunas over this meetin to the gent who is the organizer of its partic'larso Folks,I give you the best eddicated sharp between the big Muddy am' the Great Slope, Doctor Gadwallader Peets® Doe will give the fooneral oration and instruct us on the final maneuvers of this play®

Doc

(He rises to genteel applause; he bows® His oratorical delivery is easy and gracious®) My good friends, our purpose in meeting here today is not uncommon in, our history® We have, of item met for such a ceremony® low is this good man who lies here before us un­ common among, those whom we have previously interred® For those Boot Hill men are men of restless energy, of quick judgment and quicker action, of .belief in freedom, of resistance to authority® These noble, brave, men opened new provinces in this vast continent; these lonely, pure wayfarers, sufficient onto themselves, blazed new trails; these simple, generous barbarians, through intimate association with uncontaminated nature, subdued not only a wilderness 119

feni themselves^' Bmekskia. Franks: Silver Phil $ Johnnie Behind the Bemee, the McLowry Brothers, ¥gly Collins, Old. Bainbow Sam, Jack Kings and now, that noble lonely, childlike barbarian, Stingin Mzard, b e m Ezekiel Boone o Bike those who went before him, the Bisard proved his mobility im his selfless vocation; but for him and his ilk ©nr nation wonld perforce do withomt gold, for who bmt they wonld wrest this ore from the harsh breast of this barren wasteland; bmt for him and his comrades hundreds of newcomers $ of shorthorns, would have gone untutored in the dangers and vicissitudes of life in the West, for who but they would have subjected those shorthorns to the terror of that excellent teacher, experienceo If Stingin Lizard was a barbarian, he and the others before him developed through nature a simple delicacy of mind* Tomorrow’s school-ehildren will admire them, tomorrow’s historians will write prodigiously about them, tomorrow’s patriots will sing their praises®

There is a reverent and audible sigh from his listeners and then enthusiastic and yet genteel applause® He bows his gratitude and signals for quiet®

Bee ■

Thank you® The procession will now move out in the same order® The stagecoach is ready and the deceased will ride, in state, therein® The principle mourner will please be joined by Miss-Jenny and Miss Hellie in the carriage immediately following®

All rise and form the same processional order and file out as Toad Allen beats cadence ® The doors v swing shut and the party mounts horses and carriages and moves slowly out of hearing range®

All is quiet and silently Barcema Slegg moves into view through the windows® She watches the procession move out of sight and then enters the saloon carefully making certain that she is alone® She spies Billie Bowlegs chained to the.wall, in the same position he . has maintained since he was clapped in irons » head between his paws, staring straight ahead®

Larcena .

Hello there, Mr® Bowlaigs® Why leokee here they got you chained-up® Whatever are you servin time for? Hyer let me git you a drink® (She goes and he sniffs it disinterestedly and lays his head back down®) Why you pore feller® You don’t like that chain do you® (She looks about for a key®) I don’t see no key « ® ® well we’ll fix that® (She spits on her hands, braces her feet, reaches across 120

Billie’s prostrate body and with one tremendous jerk pulls the chain and bracket from the if all®. Billie aroused from his lethargy looks up 9 first at her, then at the bracketless wall, them in wonder at her®) low will you take that drinko

She hands it to him and he inhales it joyfully0 There is a shout, 11 Abby,fS and the clatter of horse’s hooves® ’’Abbyl Lars’my !H It is ELegg riding furiously through town® Larcema hurries out to meet him as he comes hurrieadimg onto the xporch of the led Bog®

(Still out of sighto) Two datters lost in one day® Lars’my! Abbyl

Larcema

Stop yellin lap® You’ll bring the whole camp down on us®

(She drags him into the led Bog®) Where you been? Where is these towmfolk gone?

Larcema

(She pushes him- into, a chair®) I jest rode on ahead® Be quiet, I says® They is all watehin the most splendiferous fooneral®

Have you seen yer sister? ,

Larcema ■,

Yep, she’s up on Boot Hill too®

Glegg .

(His voice drops an octave®) Air Toad Allen up thar with her®

, Larcema

Yep® '

(Starting up and speaking in an even deeper voice®) Gome on , I’ll plug him now and save those folks a second trip up the hill® 121

Larcena

(She pushes him hack &©wa omto the chair 0 Her tones - are severe and commanding, but there is no mistaking her deep affectiono) Ho you won"to You set right thar and rests let them bury their dead in peaces You oughter be ashamed o 8 yerselfo Fix yerself a mite, you old rip-roarero Mhat’ll these folks think®

(Brisking the drink she has poured o) %iit fussin ever me at a time like thiss By old cootie, Lars’ny, ifn yore brains was hard packed dynamite there wouldn't be enough of 'em to blew yer nose with,

Larcena

(Very offended«) Don 8 1 you talk to me like that® I oughter leave you, like Abby's done®. You be mean to me like that agin and I'll run off and marry-up with that Dave Tutt gent who said I was a lady®

Hooie! You a lady? Take my eyes for two green grog bottles if I sees anything ladyfied about you® You don't dress pretty, you cairn't sing, mer dance, aer play the planer, ner sew a patchwork quilt®

; Larcena

I can too dance®

I ain't never seed ya!

Larcena

You never lets no gent git near enough so I could show ya®

Pshaw you eain't dance no more8n that bear can®

Larcena

(Going to the side door®) I ain't goin to listen to you®

Go on and run off then® 122

Larcena

(She eomes back to the table and snatches up the bottle 0) Sit tip and git yer own drink© (To Billie©) Come Billie let8s go play© (Billie follows her out the side door©)

Slegg sits fuming for a moment,'finishes his drink, then gets up and goes to the bar to pour another© He is about to drink when he suddenly pauses to listen© He piats the drink down and steps back against the wall© Jack and Sam Enright are walking down the street, unaware of Slegg8s presence ©

Yes sir, Jack© I calls those Stingin lizard foomeral rites a beny- fide starch-collar success©

. Jack

(As they come through the doors©) le denyin it, Sam©

Slegg

Throw up yore hands© (They do©) . Ho side-arms*? You gents is care­ less© Move over thar into the corner© Hustle© (He looks out the window©) Ah thar you be Toad Allen© (To Jack©) Come yere Jack Moore© Whoever is that gal Toad Allen is pranein along side of?

Jack ■■ . /

Tucson Jenny©

Does that long-haired gent belong to her?

Jack

Ho that’s Cherokee Hall©

gi£ig.

(Emphasizing his demand with his guns©) Lie down on the floor, both o’ you© Pronto! (They do© He looks out again©) Wall, it appears every gent in this camp is unarmed except you Toad. Allen© That suits me fine©

Clegg leaps out onto the porch and shouts ’’To a d Allen* In challenge© Jack jumps to his feet and rushes the old man© Jack goes through the door just in time to spoil Slegg1s 123

aiaio They grapple and Glegg shoots again« Jack is hmrled back into, the room falling unconscious onto the floor* Sam comes to him* Glegg.covers the street for a moment then steps feaojk into the room» he laments his bad lack oat loud as he rushes to barricade the side door and prepare for a siege o Everyone on the street and in the saloon act and speak simmltaaeouslyo

(bolstering his guns, he pulls a table in front of the side dooro) Now, whereever did Lars'ny go to? As sure as you need a female, they get some notion to go som8ers else* Wall, that's her loss* This yere siege will be more fun than an Apache raid* You, Sam Enright* Brag that boy outen yere, I don't want no wounded enemies gettin in my way* (He goes to the swinging doors==he is not able to accept the continued disobedience of his daughters' behavior*) AbigailI Larceny! You gals come yere* Come on now, the fun's jest beginnin! Abbie! -

Cherokee Hall has come silently down the stairs to the land­ ing* He carries Allen's rifle and on the landing he kneels and takes careful aim* .

Hall

(Very quietly*) I'm goin to shoot you clean through the eyeball lessen you desist*. Glegg

(Wheeling around, his hands ready to go for his guns*) However did you git from the street to upstairs?

Hall

An old injun fighter like you shoulda knowd to watch that porch . roof— it leads d'rectly to a window* Raise yer hands*

By old cootie, a minnie ball from that squirrel rifle o' Allen's would bounce offa me* -

He is about to draw* Sam rises up from where he knelt over Jack, takes a bottle from the bar and comes around behind Glegg* With calm, deliberate vehemence, he shatters the bottle over the old man's head* Glegg sinks to the floor* Hall and Enright go immediately to the back bar and get 124

their guns® Then, Hall crosses,to the swinging doors and calls out®

Hall

Doc, you can turn Miss Jenny loose® Jack is all right®

Jenny runs in followed by Doc, Dave, Faro Hell, Susanna Boone, Abbie and Toad Allen® Doe and Jenny go directly to Jack who is sitting on the floor, still recovering from his dazed condition® Faro and Sue join Hall® Abbie gathers her father into her arms®

Joany .

(She kneels beside him®) Jack® Oh my darling, are you hurt? Doc­ tor, how is he?

Doc ' ' - V

(After a quick inspection®) He’ll have a headache for a while, that’s all®

Hell

Cherokee, are you all right?

Sue

(Simultaneously®) Mr® Hall, we was skeered for you®

Hall

It’s all over ladies®

. Bell;

Cherokee, Miss Sue is goin out on today’s St® Louis stage® We’re goin up fer her things now®

Hall

Yes ma-am®

Hell .

She’s got to hurry; the stage is waitin® (They go up®) 125

(Daubing Jack's wound with whiskey and her handkerchief 0) Hold stillo Hie idea of a grown man==>unarmed—-attacking such a fire-eater as Slegge That old hellion would have shot you dead and I ’d have been a widow before I was a brideo

Hall

(He is belting on his gun which he had retrieved and has been carry­ ing o) Beggia yore pardon Miss Jenny, but however sorry we was for Boone, this camp did wrong to disarm total that-a-way® Squirrel guns and whiskey bottles ain’t no match against kh colt revolvers®

Jack

Fetch me my gun belt, Jenny®

Jenny goes silently to the bar® Dave, who stands behind it, hands her Jack’s gun® She brings it to Jack who has now risen® He belts it on® Slegg stirs in Abbie’s arms.

Abbie? Lars® ny? Abbie? Oh datter, you come back®

Abbie

It’s all right, Pap® I ’m so glad to see ya® I been havin seeh a bad time®

Abbie® Abbie, little gal®

Sue and Sell come down the stairs® Sell carries a rather small bedroll; Sue, a small carpetbag and traveling bonnet® : Sue ,

^olks, I ® ® ® I want to say goodbye® I ’m leavin on the St® Louis stage o '

Inright

You don’t mean to go today ®iz Boone? Yessir $ I do® I now has money of Ezekiel * s— which I thanks Mr® Hall fear— and since the stage don’t come thromgh again for another week, I’m agoia*

Enright

I reckon you knows this camp would he proud ifn you4Id stay0

Sue -

I’m ohleeged® But I ’m goinv I wants to thank yea-all for the feoneral® Ezekiel warn’t like them nice things folks said hut he shorely must have liked hearin folks say ’em*

, Enright

We likes to send a gent off propero

. ' Sue.

(Turning to Jenny.) Back on the Mississippi, the gals say ya gotta drop yer bait deep to hook a good.catfisho It seems to me yer tryim to catch a river bottom fish by flirtin a fly over the water.

£s s h : (She looks saucily at Jack.) Do you suppose a river-bottom fish is worth landing.

Sue

(Smiling.) I reckon that depends on yer appetite. (She goes to Gherokee.) Mr. Hall.

Hall

Yes ma-as.

Sue

Ezekiel was due to get shot or land in jail. I sees that from the start. He gives the world cause, that-a-way.

Hall ill the same, it palls on a gent, bein nominated to do the killim fer the world an’ all. (She kisses hie:cheek*.) Seed-bye„

, Hall

Adi©o

Sue

(She goes to Hell and takes her hando) The stage is waitin for me®

Hell

We'll see you aboard, honey=

Jack . ^

It's a long ride, an' a hard one. Miss Sue®

They all exit out the swinging doors® The entire camp turns out to see Miss Sue off®

Sue

(From the street®) Goodbye® Goodbye Tucson® Thankee, kindly® Goodbye ail® v

Driver

(©ver the farewells®) Gould ya get aboard Miss? I'm four hours late now®

There are more farewells and the stage rumbles off® They re-enter the saloon, talking of her .and of the Slegg prob­ lem® All are present except Larcena Glegg, Billie Bowlegs, Miss Sue and Aaron Green® General pandemonium accompanies their entrance ® (At first talking through the noise of the crowd and then silencing them,,) Sit down, folkso The Committee is goin to have a sessions Sit down over there Preacher Beeeham» Dave keep them Cleggs covered „ Sit here, focsezu Quiet down, nowo Hold it* Quiet!

Folks, foad Allen and Clegg and Abbyes problems is rightfully classed internal strife in Clegg's dominion*, But they forces our hand on this play and so the Committee decides to bring in all parties and hold a peace conference*

Clegg

Don't I get no say? This yere international council ain't goin to be worth much ifn it's a o^e~sided pow™wow*

Allen

(Jumping up®) The ol* coot tried to kill me— =you saw him try right yere ® ® * •

(Quite simultaneously®) Abby's my datter: an” I aims to keep her®

Allen

No you won't, you grey bearded old buffalo*

Give us our guns an' throw ms loose an” if I don't lance the roof o' his sassy mouth, with the front sight of my six shooter. I'll cash in for a shorthorn*

Abby

Ifn you downs Toad Allen, I'll plug you afore he gets done bouncin*

Allen

I'll put a minnie ball in among your evil thoughts*

• Enright

Quiet* Quiet* Set down, set'down I says * 129

Jack

(Quietly, but not to be disobeyed0) Set down!

Jenny

Oh for goodness sakes, why don’t you give them their gums and let them kill one anothero

Jack

Is that what you want us to do?

Does it matter what I want? A squaw, I am told, is listened to in tribal couneils if she makes sensec But as far as I can see, that doesn’t hold in your buck-squaw system*

Jack

You still want us to disarm?

Jenny

No, I admit that was wrong. But do we have to live with guns and without good sense?

Jack

You’re saying we don’t have good sense? (She looks innocently sky­ ward and sighs a little,) Well then why don’t you come and show us?

Show you?

Jack

Sure, why don’t you head up this yere council and see if you can straighten out Tombstone’s for’n affairs?

Enright

A gal on my Stranglers Committee? I’m agin it. Sam, don8t spoil the fun. It1s the greatest notion since the Lord turned water into Talley fan. Tucson* show us hew.

(She goes gaily up and takes the chair Jack is offering.) Why I don’t mind. It shouldn’t be hard at all.

I’m agin it.

Of course you are, you sweet old grumbler, low gentlemen* there is an old nursery rhyme that says:

Once there were two cats from Kilkenny, Who each thought there was one cat too many, So they fought and they spit and they scratched and they bit. Till instead of two cats there weren’t any.

Enright

(Grumbling as always.) Nursery rhymes.

Jenny

.1 suggest we get one of the cats out of the barrel. Mr. Allen, would you mind, please sir, going outside?

Allen

(Flattered by her courtesy, he exits promptly;,) Glad to oblige, ma-am.

Jack L (Honestly critical.) As a first play, moving Allen out cools the air, Tucson, but where do we go from there?

Jenny

Well, mo one has taken poor Hr. G1egg’s side.

’’Pore” Hr. Glegg? 131 Jenny

Yess poor Mr<, Gleggo He is after all Abby1 s father and he deserves some respect =

(The martyr„) Troo!

Hr.e. Eniiight,, i£-yongll .heip me, we can. at .least find ©at what is what in this.case0

Jenny and Enright have a short whispered conference to de­ cide their line of questioning=

Hiss Abby, Mr* Enright would like you to tell us how you met Toad Allen?

(In a manner thab could only be considered dreamy and mushy in such a Spartan clan as the Gleggso ) Why . Pap had a bar-b-que and Toad come sashayin over all noble and ashinin like a knighto

Enright

(To Gleggo) Then you knew Toad was hangin about?

Of course I knew* I invited him didn't I?

Hiss Abby, do you love Toad Allen?

Ain't no use trying to fool no one, I elarly dotes on him*

Glegg, how is it you come pesterim around with roode objections bo this weddin, when you invited the gent home yerself and the gal says she loves him? 132

(Petulant, feeling the enclosing trap.) Mh|ch I ast him along of a dozen other sports fer soc8M l i t y s I don t mean fer M m to eamp there permanent. (Even more subdued.) I has my principles an* 1 has my objections.

Jenny

(Using all her charm.) Hr. SIegg, the edmmittee is very concerned about your principles. Mill you tell us just why you object to Mr. Allen?

I objects to him because he gambles. I can see he gambles, when I asks him to pass the salt that evenin, by him piekin up the salt cellar between his thumb an* middle finger with the forefinger over the top like it’s a stack o 8 chips.

Jack

Ton don’t believe in gamblin?

f e g g . ' )

Gourst I believes in it! Fer me. But I don't want no son-in-law fritterin away what it took me years to git!

Enright

'What else does you object to. Qiggg

Ze don’t drink, none. He tells me so himself when I invites M m to libate that same evenin. I ain’t goin to have no teetotal son-in- law overpowerin me in a moral way; I ’d feel criticized an’ I couldn’t stand it. Lastly, I don’t like M s name none.

Enright

Whatever is his name, then?

Why you calls it yerself. toad Allen. 133

We don’t take that to he his real name0 Lots of gents has to abide by smeh colorful mame=tags0 .

X sees that he don’t confide in you gents just how he does get dubbed Toad Alleno ,

Jack

Hone whatever«

Glegg

It shows he’s decent enough to be ashamed» Thar’s hopes for him yeto

(Humiliated0) Pap there ain’t no need to tell®

Glegg

It's got to come,. Abby® Gents, I wouldn’t mind the name "Toad Allen” if it were a tag the boys.put on him— a- Texas label, so to speak®

Doc

Then what is your objection®.

Gents, the truth is that Toad Allen is his name shore enuff ® Legal an’ proper from the crib on; "Toad Allen®" "Allen" goes, but gents, I flies in the air at "Toad®" I asks you, as onbiased sports, would you set ca’mly down while,, a party named "Toad1’ puts himself in nomi­ nation to be yer son-in-law?

Enright

Hone whatever®

There is silence around® Doe, in sympathy pours a drink for Glegg® All heads, are bowed® 1 3 k

£2151

(Tenderlyo) lrc Glegg, will yoia abide by a eempromise?

Glegg

Ifn I agrees^ 1*11 abide«

Enright

(After a brief whispered remark from Jenny, he riseso) Ifn the committee1111 back our play, Tucson and me will negotiate this treaty by havin a sort of ground-level, secret, pre-conference conference with Toad Alien= :

There is unspoken assent from the Committee o Sam and Jenny go out onto the porch where Allen joins them* Partly visible through the swinging doors, they hold a brief whispered con­ ference c Jenny takes full advantage of her womanly charms | she holds Allen’s hand and warmly puts her arm around his shoulder<, Enright, who does very little talking, is more excited and gesticulates emphatically =. The people in the room seem to hold their breath during this very brief exchange* Allen agrees to Jenny’s final point and the three come into the room in triumph <, Allen goes to stand beside Abby, Jenny takes her seat demurely, and Enright addresses Slegg* ■

Clegg, Toad Allen has agreed to make some compromises*

Allen

(To Slegg*) Which, as you objects, I promise to quit gamblim, forth­ with* ' :

That’s certain?

Allen

I swears* Second not wan tin to seem to be no lush, I lies a whole lot when I tells you I don’t libate, none, and hyere’s proof there' of* (He takes a swig from a nearby bottle*)

I sees it, myself* 135 Allen

Third., I deplores "Toad," as a eognomezig as tameh as yea-all» It was sawed off on me in m j he’pless infancy» So I offers— you consentin to the weddin— to re-organize under a new nameo I offers to reor­ ganize onder the name o* Benjamin EL egg Allen.

Glegg

You do? ■ ' • ■

■ Allen

I do!

That do make it different«

(To Slegg.) Then you agree to the compromise? -

(Reluctantlyo) I agrees.

Lareena

(She enters silently* both guns drawn.) You don't have to agree to nothin, Rap. Don't reach fer yer weapons, gents.

Slegg leaps to het. his gunbelt which hangs over Dave Tutt's shoulder. He straps if on and draws a gun to cover the crowd.

Slegg lars'ny honey, I knewed you wouldn't desert yer ole Pap. Wherever have you been so long?

Lareena

D'you still say I ain't no lady?

That silly talk don't matter at a time like this. 136

Larcena

It matters to meo I been out in the corral practicin. my dancizio I 811 larm you that I can dance as good as any lady=

Gle&g

How can ya dance in a corral? Without music? Who8 Id dance with a gal like you?

■/, Larcena

(Some peevish, she shouts®) Billie, come in yore®

Billie Bowlegs comes weaving and staggering into the saloon® The folks comment as to his intoxication and his having busted out of the hoosegow®

larcena

Gome on, Billie = let8s show Pap that I am a lady®

She begins to.sing the chorus of "Turkey in the Straw®" Billie rises to his hind feet and begins rocking in time to the rhythm® As she starts the first verse, they both lumber forward and do a square dance® There is great surprise and excitement among all present® They shout with delight, laugh, take up the song, and clap in unison® When the dance is finished, everyone applauds as larcena and Billie bow® Billie, dizzy with drink and dancing, takes too low a bow and falls® , He rolls over, gets up, staggers across the > room, bounces off.the bar, and collapses in a corner® Every­ one has a good time at Billie8 s expense but he is out cold and their jeers announcing this do not disturb him® As the laughter dies, larcena confronts her father®

larcena

There now® Ifn you say I ain81 a lady after that danein, I’ll leave you and get married fer sure ®

Glegg

I ain’t sayin nothin, honey-gal® (He pulls Abby toward the door, covering the room®) Gome on, Abby® let’s go home®

larcena

(To Jenny®) I want to say goodbye to you® Yore the most ladified lookin lady I ever seed® Ehy, thank youo ,

Abby

Pap® X don't want to go® If I hgd. my gmm yom womldn’t make me*

. ism* (She goes to Glegg and puts her hand warmly on his arm®) Mr® Slegg* you don't want to force Abby away from Benjamin Glegg Allen®

. B i s s

(He looks at her with equal sincerityt and speaks in her soft tones®) Yes ma~am» I do®

But you already agreed to abide by the compromise ® » ® the treaty that you and Mr® Enright so cleverly worked out®

(He now pushes her away and,assumes his normal hasty temper®) Gal, let me tell you about treaties® You soft talks me an' it's like the good book says, the-seripter says "A soft answer turneth away wrath"; but more especially when the opp'sitioa's got yer guns® You had my guns which changed my outlook® How I got yore guns which changes it back® Gome on, gals, we're goin®

(She is stymied for a moment as they login to back out the door, and then she speaks rapidly®) Larcena, do you really want to be a lady?

Larcena

Yes ma-am®

Glegg

(In exasperation to the mem®) Woman's nacher is that emotional, she's oneapable of doin right® (1© Jenny®) Yore tryin to alienate my datters from their proper loyalty with yer sedishus notions = Jenny

(Smilinge) Yes* And succeeding, too® (To Larcena,) If you will help me, I ’ll teach you how to be a lady and show Abby how to get married®

Lars’ny, you gotta® ■ -

Larcena

I’ll do ’er»

Slegg

(low desperate®) Sals, I said move! Now move! (He shoots into the ground at Larcena8s feet®)

Abby

(Backing off to take her stand with Jenny®) Pap, Ha alius said you had the manners of a locoed Apache® You do that agin an 8 I ’ll pull yore whiskers out®

Don’t you threaten me; I ’ll hoss-whip you!

Larcena puts up her gun, steps between them, puts her arm around SIegg, pulls his gum hand away from Abby, coaxes his gun away from him and moves him persuasively toward the bar®

Larcena

There, now Pappy, Abby don’t mean nothin® Sides she’s too big to hoss=whip even fer a tough gent like you® Gome on now--give Pap a drink, Hr® Bartender— we wants to talk to this lady®

But I®®®

Larcena '

Never mind, now® You drink yer drink® .

She returns to Jenny, leaving Glegg muttering at the bar® Jenny has been watching with approval and amusement® 139 Jenny

Why, Larcena, you already are a lady0•

Larcena

I am? .

Abby ' ; ; :

Why she ain’t got the manners of a horned toado

iLarcena ,

(The viciousness is hardly veiled®) Ifn I thought you weren’t jess teasin, I’d jine Pap and him and he would drive you back home with­ out no husband at all— wouldn’t we Pap?

Glegg

We would, homey-gal® (With sugary pride to the men®) Ain’t she a terror, gents?. •

Jenny

(To Abby®) low do you see that larcena is a lady?

Abby ' ■ ■ . ' y lo nia-aae Seems like a lady wouldn’t be so mean®

Jermy

..Only .a. trae„.lady,.esn .be so effectively .mean® You answer violence with violence,, threats..with, threats® You get upset and shout and carry on® A real lady never lets other people threaten her; she . either, ignores them, or destroys them with her own weapons, but she never stoops to use their weapons®

Abby

You mean I oughten ter shoot back at Pap?

Jenny

Exactly® It isn’t lady-like® However can I keep the old. coot from bossin me around,

Jenny

Have you succeeded in getting married by fighting him with guns?

Ho and I ’ll try anythin you tells me to do® What weapons does a lady use?

Shat depends upon the ease® Shis time we need the men to help uso Will you stick by me?

' Ahby

I’ll do whatever you says® When do I get married?

Jenny

You don’t® And neither do I® Hot until all the men— your father included-Wpromise to stop using their guns and start using their heads®

All the men protest at once® Jenny ignores their uproar and quietly reassures Abby® Jack finally quiets the men and remonstrates with Sucsom®

Jack

(So Jenny®) You want us to disarm? When will you learn?

Ho, I didn’t say that® I want you to put up your guns® (So the ladies®) My oh my, don’t they all look confused?

• Which so we are® .’Splain yerse’f Smeson®

Jenny

You must put up your guns— keep them loaded and handy but take them off your hips® v . l4l

.Jack '

fhe only handy place for a gun is ©n yer hip.

That’s too handyo With guns on yomr hips you become bullies and thieves and killersa

Jack

And without them anyone in the territory can shoot up the town like Qlegg dido

That was total disarmamenta 1© one had their gums with them. But if every house and store had a loaded gun and every man is determined that no one „ stranger or citizens, was going to be allowed to threaten anyone, then that sort of thing would stopP In other wordss I want all of you to meet violence with stubborn contempt- like Lareena does * * * like a lady*

Geehosophati She’s gbia ter train; us all to be ladies=

Enright

I’m agin ito I ’m agin ito

The men protest among themselves® Jack resumes the argu­ ment «

Jack

But then we’ll need ’lections and lawyers and politicians ® ® ®

Enright

An’ from thet time on decent folks is doomed to onhappiaess an’ torment®

1 Jenny

But we can have decent eourts— eourts where justice prevails®

The only thing that prevails in courts is lawyers®

A 142

Slegg

A vig°lance committee -is more honest than courts and9 which is more important, a heap more zealous and eager®

Any party who’s lookin for the place where the bad man is scarce, an8 a law-abidin gent has the fullest liberty, let him locate where he finds the most lynching ®

Jenny

(She is very sweet®) As always, you’re right, Sam ® ® ® Hay I call you, Sam?

(He is very grouchy— but pleased®) I reckon I’m mot agin it®

Jenny

Sam, your Stranglers Committee doles out a fine brand of justice-- I don’t deny that®'

■ Jack

Well then Jenny, you saw how Squire Gneen went on® Even if the future does hold.such a black and ondeesired fate, I don’t see that we gotta stampede down the trail to meet it®

iS2 8 £\

I admit, Jack, that a future peopled with Easy Aarons is a bleak prospect® But Larcena, Abby, do you want to raise children in a town where so much violence can reign in one day®

Abby

(Very impressed®) Be ma-ams 1 shorely don’t®

Enright

I ain’t noticed no onusual reign of terrer t’day®

Jenny

That’s because you’re such a fire-eater, Sam® First Billie raided my larder, then Hr® Clegg drove Preacher Beeeham out of town, Jack and Dave scared everyone half to death® Then ® ® ® (She looks )

143

sympathetically at Cherokee.) » 0 0 well,, the least said about Ezekiel Boone the better* lext Mr* .ELegg, through my silliness, captured the town and shot Jack* And .Cherokee out-faced him and. captured it baeko Finally Larcena gave her father control and she and 1 took it back* There is. your violence, Sam, and I ’m not going to marry and have children in the middle of it all*

Mr* Benjamin Slegg Allen, we don't get spliced either, ealess you prevails on these gents* I don't want no dead Chilians*

Larcena

Save Tutt, I ain't agoin to marry you like I was, neither*

Save

You ain’t? I mean, you was?

, . Larcena

Bo,.you mean I ain't* It ain't just Chilians, neither* I been . dodgin bullets all my life and to be blunt, I finds it plumb tire­ some, myself* So, ifn it's law sharps or bullets, I'll take law- sharps* .

• ■ lave ■

(In the harshest tone*) You'll take what I..dishes out ifn yer goin to marry me. •

Why, Dave Tutt!

Dave

(Just as harsh*) You keep out of this, Tucson* I danced her jig but I ain't gonna take no sass from no females from now on* Or no orders, neither* Gome yere, gal*

• He reaches out and pulls Larcena's gun out of her hand, puts it on the table, and swoops.her up and over onto the men's side of the room* Clegg leads the men in whoops and hollers of approval* Abby shouts, "I'm eomin, Lars'ny," and charges in among the men* • B%e punches Dave in the solar plexis, doubling him over* She.grabs him by the hair and the collar.and pulls him around her in a circle then lets him fly* He bounces off the wall like.a,billiard ball and Ikk

reels into the M e k tor where h e .eollapses out of sighto Lareena furiously bawls Abby out and them rushes to Dave* fhey remain but of sight behind the bar for some time*

' Lareena

Abby, you mind yer own business® Dave! Dave-honey,. did she hurt you? She ain't no lady®

(To Jenny®) I was jest reseuin her. Miss Jenny®

JenB£ lever mind, Abby® (She confronts Hell*) Far© Nell, you've got to be for us or against us® This is the showdown®

Nell

I'm sorry Tucson, I'm old-fashioned® I leaves the shootin to the gents® Cherokee's got my vote®

■ Hall

Which I don't neither® I don't figure in this, no how®

Jenny

Sam, I need your help more than any other gent in town® Do you want me to raise children with bullets whizzing around their heads?

Enright

Ip to now you been fightim this war in the open® You knows that any decent gent got to back a mother's play a whole lot® It ain't fair to recroot yer onborned offspring into this battle®

But it will come to children® Perhaps a boy® A boy named Enright Peets Moore® Will you back little Enright Peets* play? S

• . Doe • ' .

She's won, Sam® J

145

Enright

(Shaking his head=) If that Enright Peets boy is as smart as his mothers he’ll be a winner<>

Jenny turns to Jacko She loses a bit of her courage when she sees by his stony expression that- he is not particularly impressed with her brillianceo For a moments at least9 she is without guile®

Jack, none of this means anything if I lose you®

Jack

(Stonily®) I ’m like lave® I don’t cotton to a wife who wants to win, first shot out of the barrelo

2®asz

(She smiles mischievously, her-head cocked to one side®) But I didn’t win first shot out of the barrel® I lost when you made me admit that I love you in front of all these people®

Jack •

(Unbending a bit®) Give up this disarmin idea and let politics happen naeher’lly® ,

Jenny

(Still lighthearted®) Suzanna said I was just flirting flies across the water trying to force you to observe my proprieties® I was being silly; manners are just surface flies® Maybe that’s true about politics, too® After all life goes on, regardless of politics®

Jack

(He cdn’t believe it®) You’ll give up the notion®

Jenny

(Evading a direct answer®) Even with Sam’s help, I couldn’t make it work without you. Jack® (In a very offhand fashion®) You’re the only man in the camp who could get the notion started-=the only man everyone would trust to carry a gun when everyone else is unarmed® With Sam doing the brain work and you doing the gun work, the no­ tion couldn't failo But never minds Bet's give it upc

Jack and Enright b u m slowly to look at one another un­ believingly#

■ Enright

Jenny, we ain't so dumb as to fall fer your flattery# ,

Jenny

(With a brazen laugh#) Of course you're not# (She goes between them and puts her arms around theirs#) But you're not so dumb as to not recognize the truth in that flattery# (She kisses his cheek and turns to Jack#) And you're not so stubborn as to refuse to believe I love you dearly# (She kisses his cheek#)

Jack

Will you stay out of politics?

Jenny „

I'll never say another word about polities in public again#

Jack

(Shaking his head, trying to see where the hitch is#) Sell I guess that's somethin#

Abby

(Confused#) Miss Jenny, does this mean we goes back to usim guns#

2 SSSX

Yes, I tried to change things but I lost# Will you teach me to shoot?

Jack

(Alarmed, as are all the men#) Whatever for?

Jenny

Well, if I ’m going to live in a shootin camp I ’m going to be a shootin woman# I still have my babies to protect# Will you, Abby? Shorely, Miss Jenny=

And. I want to learn to wear one«, 1 81 1 . .practice a . fast-drat?e You and Larcena must practice, too0

Enright

(Eagerlyo) Jack, I don’t see no reason to delay puttin the lady- system regyardin guns into play right now» It may be a distmrbin element at first but Tombstone is too strong to let any passel o’ Aaron Greens loco it for very long® .

Jack - - ' ; .

Mebbe we could give it a trial run®

Troo® Then later we could work in some ’lections®

Jack '

(To the others®) What do you gents say?

Hall

(To Jenny®) I knows you shied away from talkin of my killia Boone as to spare, me® I appreciates it for I ’m never sadder’n when I'm shootin® But I can't put up my gums®

(With much sympathy®) I would think you, especially, would want to stop shooting®

Hall

There is alius somebody lookin to git shot and too frequent they looks to me to do the job for 'em® Sometimes I can desuade them® But when they come at me f'rocious and sudden, I cairn't wait on no committee, ner court, ner even a marshall® I gotta decide, my­ self, what to use, patience and talk or hot lead® 1%8

Jack

Cherokee9 if this new play don’t go with you, it don’t go with me and Tucson loses®

Yore as likely to turn the vote as any gent and more likely than most®

Ball

I ’m right proud o’ them sentiments hut I don’t need no vote® I brought troubles onter this camp, when 1 broke those rules of the game and went to kibitzin on Stingin Lizard’s hand® I l a m e d long ago that when argent makes, a serious mistake, ethical that-a-way, the only thing to do is pay up, cash in his chips and onburden that layout of his oppressive maeher® (He goes behind the bar and gets his saddlebagso) I jest been waitin for the chance to say good­ bye®

Bell

You mean, leave Tombstone for good?

. Hall /

That’s my meanin<> And this yere disarmin bluff makes it plainer to me than before® LiVia ’thout a gun is like livin without a hoss® If it’s due to come, I won’t be yere® It’s a crossin, too muddy and too much fer me®

Jenny

But we don’t want you to leave®

. . . Bell

(lather proud in her knowledge that Cherokee is beyond Jenny’s ability to maneuver®) There ain’t no arguin with this man, Tucson® Where’ll ya go, Cherokee®

Hall .

I’ll head for Montana® lot many folks up there— but good-ums®

Jack

Tombstone’ll feel the loss® 149

Sail

I'll just slip oat* My horse is saddled* M i o *

He exits quickly and Nell follows him to the door* She watches in silence as he rides off*

(After a pause*) I'm sorry, Nellie* •

Nell

No need* Cherokee never stays anywheres for very long® He's kinda restless, Cherokee is* Which I got no room to criticize * You know, fueson, what with me follerim-up my paw in the saloon and gamblin business, I.ain't neve% stayed in one place mofe'n a couple of years, myself * , ' -

- - Enright

(Shaking his head and wondering*) Cherokee Hall is a heap sagacious, and what he says about livin without a gun is shorely hard to re? foote* Do you gents calculate we're bein too quick?

Dave crawls up from behind the bar* His disarray is not altogether due to the rough handling Abigail gave him*

Dave

Give up, Sam, afore these females git the notion to take over al­ together* We been ambushed and that's whatever*

Lareena bounces up, also disheveled, and acknowledges her lesson to her teacher*, She is happy and innocent only as a country girl— >a girl who knows all that is worth knowing— can be happy and innocent* ,,a

Lareena . "

Miss denny? Yore rightI There is better ways to convince a gent besides guns*

I surrenders * Gents, I perposes that we all puts up our guns except Jack* Jack, you stay heeled to protect the camp from invaders* Be there any gent who objects? 150 Qlegg

I feel . =

Larcena

Which if you fee, you gdes home aloneo Me and my man never comes near you.

Bone in by a young-uno

Enright

Then all agree?

Agreed®

Let6 s-put up our guns— all except Jacko.

All the men unbuckle their guafeelts with great dignity and with a solemnity which becomes them as the fighters they are® Some of them put the. gunfeelts down5 others simply throw them ever their shoulders® Dave deposits his on the fear and comes out from behind it in a mood of enthusiasm® He picks up Larcena, whirls around with her, and calls for attention®

Dave - ;

Gents==gents=~gentsI I speaks from brief experience but I says thar is no sorter doubt that females.is the noblest, most exhileratin work e 6 their Redeemer®

All the men cheer®

- Snright

Females, gents is a refinin and emnoblin inflooenee, she subdues the reckless, subjoogates the rebellious, sobers the friv6lous, b u m s the ground from onder the indolent moccasins of that male she*s roped up in holy wedlock’s bonds® She pints the way to a higher and happier life®

Another cheer® 151

Jack

(How in sober gloomo) In shorts she redooees him to domestic!ty@ Which Tombstone’s been redooced that~a~way today; but bein trme men we bow ear heads with the rest o’ mankind, suffer our lot in quiet, and remember emr glorious paste

All the men remove their hats in the solemnity ofthe momente Faro Hell and Shortara have gome behind the bar and removed the gunse Hell lets out a whoop of her own, to break the bad momenta

Hell

Eeyai Come and get it, folksa The sun’s about gone and the house, asearlier stated, buys the last drinksa Gome paint yer noses to suit yer taste*

All rush over to the bar and it’s whiskey for the men and sassyfrass fer the ladies® Billie wakes up and joins them for the last drink and the last laugh®

Hell

Brink hearty boys, 1 won’t have the pleasure of buyin for very long® I ’m puttin the Bed Bog up for sale® I ’ll be movin on®

There are protestations, topped by Jenny®

Je n n y

You ain’t going because of Cherokee?

Hell

(She puts up a good front®) Shucks, no® But I guess it’s a lot like he says®. The crossin is too muddy fer me, too; a camp where gents don’t wear guns ain’t no place fer a gal like me® So drink upi no need sayin goodbyes now, I cain’t vamoose till I sell the Bed Bog®

Folks, it’s a sad day, and that’s whatever® I gives you a toast® Yere’s to Cherokee Hall and Far© Hell® Tombstone won’t be the same without ’em®

All drink and a slow curtain®