May 2018 Vol 2 Issue 5 `150

Saloni Chopra The feisty actor is using social media to ignite debate on sexuality and gender violence

the woman inside agents of change Funny Side Up Maahi’s sex change had Shahla Ettefagh, Sigma Standup comic Neeti an unexpected outcome Ankrava, Christine Akello Palta gives us a peek in her work and life Otieno, Madhavi Kuckreja into her life & home 2 | PERSONAL GROWTH contents

Funny Side Up :) 06 Standup comic Neeti Palta takes us home

India’s Diwali Ambassador 12 US-based events planner Manisha Beriwala

Bad Feminist 20 Cover girl Saloni Chopra gets personal

ON THE COVER: Saloni Chopra PHOTOGRAPHY: Amit Agarwal The Power of One 26 Four agents of change from around the world

Woman Rising 42 How Shazia found hope after losing her son

Why Men Rape 45 What makes men rapists? How do we fix it?

Life in 3D 48 Award-winning animator Charuvi Agrawal

How We Went Off Script 54 Sana Sood on her entrepreneurial journey Walk on Through to 14 the Other Side Her gender change had an A Little Bit of Thai unexpected outcome for Maahi 56 Four Thai dishes for healthy meals

May 2018 may 2018 4 | editor’s note editor’s note | 5

and bore the weight of the world on their hips. I thought about their daily sacrifices in raising families and running households. I thought about their missed op- portunities, backbreaking work, uncomplaining resilience. Women Who Do The women in my family were systematically denied equal rights and freedom – to education, to their bodies, to wo days ago, I went out for a meeting and their personal choices, to their dreams. By the time my turn came back home to find a kitchen in dis- came, our mothers had pushed for a few more freedoms array. My family – technically all adults but for us, but many others still eluded my generation – such mentally all babies, including my husband – as sending a daughter away for higher studies (“What if she hadT got into some sort of Mahabharata. Dishes had lost her virginity? No, no, let’s marry her off instead.”). shattered, a bowl of rice had been splattered, and And yet, the women in my family all lived to ripe old there was a furious silence in all quarters. ages, most outliving their “What happened?” I hollered. Everyone blamed men, and died peacefully at everyone else, no one came forward to clean up. home, surrounded by the After a few minutes of flailing my arms about in people they loved. disbelief and shouting at everyone for their bad be- How did they do it? How haviour and – especially – for their cold refusal in did they wake up, day af- picking up the pieces, I got to work to do it myself ter day, and do their gen- before the dogs stepped on the glass shards. der-based roles, and suffer Raging internally for all the injustices in the their gender-based inequal- world, and for being forced into certain roles ity, without bitterness? because of my gender, I allowed the rhythm of Because they just did. Aekta Kapoor dish-washing and floor-cleaning to calm me into a They woke up, day after day, Founder Editor, eShe state of active meditation (it’s a thing, try it). dusted off the inequality, My mind drifted. I thought about my history – and got to work. My paternal grandmother Krishna was born in my grandparents on both sides had migrated to the The world is full of injus- Lahore, moved to Delhi during Partition, had five new India from Lahore, carrying with them noth- tice – discrimination is re- children and 13 grandchildren, and died at 75 ing but hearts full of fear and hope, armed with just markably democratic across courage. I thought about the women in my family gender, caste, class, race, nationalities. But why I idolize my – grandmothers and aunts who were married as grandmothers and mothers is because – despite hardship – teenagers, who mothered many children, lost a few, they just got on with it, and did their bit for their daughters. Women today have it better because other women before us pushed boundaries bit by bit, and today, we can push Editor: Aekta Kapoor All rights reserved throughout the world. Reproduction more. This issue of eShe is about agents of change – women : Nyamat Bindra in any manner is prohibited. Printed and published by Marketing and Research Aekta Kapoor on behalf of the owner Coral Content. who are changing the world, one person, one mindset, one ([email protected]) Published at C3/1 GF, Vasant Vihar, New Delhi 110057, Brand Managers: Amrita Nagpal, Pallavi Pratap India. Phone: +91 9818166621. Printed at Modest city, one country at a time. These are #WomenWhoDo. Malik Graphics (P) Ltd, Shop No.C-53, Okhla Industrial Area, Phase 1, New Delhi 110020. To buy, advertise or for any Contributors: Kay Newton, Sana Hoda Sood, other queries, visit eshe.in or send an email to mail@ Shreyaa Shah, Dr Urvashi Tandon coralcontent.com. To subscribe, visit eShe.in [email protected]

May 2018 may 2018 6 | comedy comedy | 7

Standup comic Neeti Palta takes a break from making Indians laugh and f N side up gives us a peek into her home, life, history – and refrigerator N :) U Y f you’re lucky, Neeti Palta’s had a painfully older brother,” she rambunctious French bulldog, says. “He was just three years older named Punchline, will insist but he was very painful.” Her father on climbing up your body to inculcated in her the love for books Ilick your face and lips. “She likes and reading (“PG Wodehouse was you,” says Neeti, who finds it diffi- the best”) and her sporty, energetic cult to resist the tiny tornado’s ad- mother endowed Neeti with a love vances herself, cuddling her while for short hair, youthful looks and she jumps up and down animatedly. the inability to sit still. Neeti’s other dog, a beagle named After completing her graduation Socks, appears calm in comparison. in English literature from Delhi “There are my kids,” Neeti intro- University, Neeti went on to do duces them before sitting down in her airy Delhi apartment where she “I work out so that lives with her husband and father- in-law, a retired Army officer. I can eat out and Neeti is a magnet unto herself, drink. My cook makes her answers laced with wisecracks tinda-gobi every day. It and her straight-backed fauji up- bringing drawing your attention. makes me suicidal” The standup comedian has, over the past seven years, mastered the her Master’s in mass communica- art of reducing people to hysterical tion and journalism from Symbiosis laughter armed with just a mic, all in Pune. Neeti’s mom had a huge over India and Australia, and is now influence in pushing her towards a hailed as one of India’s top com- career in advertising (“What kind edy acts. The 39-year-old’s jokes of mother does that?”) and for the are dipped in her experiences as a next 12 odd years, Neeti worked as woman, as an Indian, and as a tom- a copywriter, spending most of that boy. And they all begin in her life as time in the corridors of advertising an Army officer’s daughter. major J Walter Thompson India. Neeti was born in Agra (“My fam- One of her seniors, Anuja Chau- ily jokes that the largest pagal-khana han, who is now a bestselling au- [mental health hospital] was in Agra thor, referred Neeti to the team of then, so it was befitting my birth”) the international TV show Sesame and brought up all over India. “I Street. “I fell in love in just two

May 2018 may 2018 8 | comedy performing arts | 9

Neeti’s acts are peppered with real-life stories, India (“I bleed the tiranga”), Indian men, and self-mockery dance like no one’s watching

days,” says Neeti of how she became about her non-conformism, even if American dancer, choreographer and model Dana Alexa has moved to the screenwriter for the children’s she is often the recipient of vitriolic India to judge a reality dance show, and can’t get enough of the country show Galli Galli Sim Sim, which comments by trolls online. premiered on Indian televisions Considering her gym routine and ew York-born Dana Alexa broker father and an art-loving in 2006. After almost five fulfilling six-pack abs (“My trainer says, mod- started dancing when she mother, always loved to read and years there, she attended a comedy el banna hai kya?”), Neeti spends a was just two years old, and would walk to school as a young show featuring Brad Sherwood and disproportionate amount of time was a professional dancer child with a book firmly in hand. Colin Mochrie of Whose Line is it thinking about food. “I work out so Nby 21, having trained with the best Dana has choreographed numerous Anyway? fame. She volunteered to that I can eat and drink. My cook instructors in the world in hip hop, viral YouTube videos and has a huge do sound effects in an interactive deliberately makes tinda-gobi (bland jazz, street jazz, tap and ballet. A social-media fan base. She now trav- scene, and caught the attention of vegetables) every day. It makes me well-recognized face on American els the world teaching master classes Raghav Mandava, founder of stand- suicidal. So I have to eat out. And TV after she choreographed and and has briefly moved to Mumbai up comedy club, Cheese Mon- my refrigerator holds more beer performed on Watch What Happens where she judges the reality dance key Mafia. He invited her to do a than milk.” Live and The Real Housewives of NJ, show High Fever: Dance Ka Naya Te- five-minute act the next weekend. Punchline waits impatiently for Dana also participated on the Emmy var. The 28-year-old is eager to ex- And the rest is history. Neeti to finish talking before pounc- Award-winning reality competition plore India further. On stage, Neeti portrays a mod- ing on her again. There’s never a dull show The Amazing Race. A student of behavioral science ern Indian woman who is confident moment in the Palta house.  The only child of a Wall Street and English, Alexa says her dream

May 2018 may 2018 10 | performing arts performing arts | 11

L-R: Dana getting mehendi done on her hands during her India visit; striking a pose atop an elephant L-R: Dana Alexa (centre) with her crew; she is currently a judge on Indian reality dance show High Fever

mission is to entertain, to be happy How do you motivate yourself before a to 10 hours per day, sometimes Is there any particular diet you follow? and to spread happiness. performance? more. I wake up early and get into I follow a mostly pescatarian diet. I We have some questions for her. Before a performance I can feel the a workout. I hike, do Pilates, light try to avoid dairy as much as pos- How has it been so far being a judge on nerves and butterflies in my stom- weight training and I have even be- sible (which can be tough because High Fever? ach, just like anyone else. Howev- gun doing some Krav Maga-style I love pizza and especially cheese.) I am the international judge on er, I truly live to perform and en- workouts with an awesome trainer. How do you handle difficult career High Fever. I have so loved sitting tertain. I love to be able to make choices? on the panel mostly because of the people happy through dance. So, I “IN entertainment, you One of the hardest was the decision contestants. They are so incredibly shake off the nerves and just go out to leave New York and move to LA. talented and so resilient! A lot of there and have a good time. hear a lot of ‘no’s’ I knew no one in LA so it was scary them have overcome great obstacles Who or what inspires you? and a lot of criticism. but it’s the best thing I ever did and to be standing on the stage. You can My parents inspire me the most. it has been very rewarding pursuing catch us every Saturday and Sunday My mom has beaten cancer twice It is important to my career on the West Coast. at 9:30 pm on &TV. already and my dad had a kidney know your worth” What have you learnt from the enter- How has your Indian experience been? transplant that saved his life about tainment industry, and what would you Amazing. I have loved getting to seven years ago. They have been like to share with our readers? know the people and the culture. through so much but they always Then I head to the studio where I In entertainment, you hear a lot I have been welcomed so warmly get through things with such brav- choreograph dance routines, teach of ‘no’s’ and a lot of criticism. It is and have made friends here who ery and strength. We didn’t have a private lessons, teach open classes at important to be strong, know your will always be close to my heart. ton of money but we had such great Millennium Dance Complex, shoot worth and take it with a grain of I’ve gotten to travel a bit to Jaipur memories. and edit tutorials. I also film lots of salt. It’s also important to be happy, and Goa and am planning a trip to How many hours a day do you practise? dance videos; you can see them on be kind and stay focused on your the Golden Temple in May. I am When I am in Los Angeles my Instagram @danaalexa_ and on goals. You can truly create anything having a blast exploring. days are jam-packed. I dance eight youtube.com/DanaAlexaDance. you set your mind to.

May 2018 may 2018 12 | PERSONAL GROWTH diaspora | 13

came and went, bland and forget- ry hotels, taking care of everything table. By the time her first child from the Indian cuisine to the en- Ivanka was born, Manisha began tertainment, décor and “ethnic” organizing Diwali events for In- props. She formalized her company dian-Americans in New York. But MMB Events last year, and hired a something inside her still felt hol- team of over a dozen people. One low – a sense of unfulfilled purpose day, she was invited by Google to and untapped drive. host a party for 2,000 employees. Seeking answers, she came across And it got bigger: in her very first Vipassana. “Those 10 days of silence year of operations, she organized 13 and solitude were overwhelming. Diwali events over two months. At the end, I felt like I’d walked A natural networker who is in- through fire. It felt like my life’s spired by the idea of “women sup- biggest achievement.” Vipassana left porting women”, Manisha intro- Manisha more patient and “shock- duced the Diwali Devi Diva women india’s diwali ambassador With the colours of rangoli and the glow of diyas, Manisha Mundhra Beriwala is trying to make a difference in the American corporate calendar hen Manisha Mundhra coming a “Diwali specialist”. was a young girl in As a young girl, while Manisha Kolkata, her Marwari struggled with academics, she met parents would insist Rishi Beriwala who was quite the L-R: With her team at MMB Events; with her husband Rishi, and daughters Ivanka, 11, and Alyona, 2 Won taking her to Rajasthan ev- opposite: “He grew up to become ery summer. “The heat was crazy,” a brilliant college topper, an IIFT ). (R a j sarma . com proof”. She also learnt she was empowerment awards supported the 38-year-old remembers, “but silver medallist, an MBA in finance pregnant again. Alyona – her “ther- by the Mayor’s office in Jersey city ork spending time with large extend- and a CA rank holder,” she laughs. Y apy child” – was born on Diwali while raising funds for an NGO in

ed families in those old havelis of After their wedding, the couple photography eve two years ago. India via Diwali giving. She’s now Bikaner really shaped me.” Many moved to the US. “There was so Manisha’s Diwali connection gearing up for Diwali 2018 with

years later, Manisha would try to much freedom, but also so much new spade ate grew even stronger over the next over 600 clients on her sales list. : R a j S arma : K recreate those festive moments for loneliness,” Manisha recalls. She year. She began hosting and orga- “This is my passion,” she says, all set the bigwigs of corporate America missed the Indian culture, its bois- nizing mega events for corporate to light up the corporate calendar venue credit in her own unique way – by be- terous festivities. Her first Diwali credit P hoto houses, schools, hospitals and luxu- in the US. 

May 2018 may 2018 14 | identity identity | 15

n class eight, I realised a lot of time with the who’s who I was not a boy. I start- of Delhi society. Her colleagues of walk on ed wearing my mother’s four years, who knew her first as saris,” recalls Maahi, who Hamza, often have to correct them- through to “was bornI Hamza in Delhi to a prop- selves and refer to her with her erty dealer father and a homemaker new name, Maahi (without a sur- mother. The youngest sibling with name), which she began using for the other side two older brothers and two sisters work about a year ago after start- in a traditional Muslim family, the ing hormone therapy and then her Accepting and announcing her true gender identity little Hamza’s antics in dressing up sex-change operation in September had an unexpected outcome for Maahi, both as a girl were initially laughed at 2017. “I was a bit of a hunk even as personally and professionally and labeled “cute”. “But later these a boy,” she says, smiling coyly. As a

L-R: Maahi as Hamza (“I was quite a hunk even as a boy,” she says): in her new avatar as a woman

things made my family very angry,” girl, of course, she is gorgeous. the 23-year-old Maahi admits, seat- Maahi’s adolescence was traumat- ed in the coffee shop of the Lalit ic, especially after her father died hotel in Delhi, where she works as when she was just 10 years old. “I a PR executive for the hotel’s pop- missed him a lot. My family used ular nightclub Kitty Su. to lock me up at home when they She has lined her eyes with kohl, found out that I was wearing girls’ giving them a stylish cat-eye effect, clothes secretly,” she says. She stud- and wears carefully applied bright ied in a government school close to red lipstick. Her clothing has the home. “Maahi was actually my pet nonchalant trendiness of someone name in class 10,” she shares, “given who devours Instagram and spends to me by my boyfriend.” Her rela-

may 2018 16 | identity identity | 17

tionship lasted eight long years, all out of my house and into my own “This is our fight – to change acid-attack victims, and all levels through the time that Maahi did apartment, which saved my sanity.” social mindset,” says Keshav Suri, of management have a balanced her graduation through correspon- Maahi consulted a doctor who executive director of the Lalit Suri male-female staff ratio. Kitty Su also dence while working in event man- suggested she start hormone ther- Hospitality group, who has been hosts fashion shows featuring those agement. In 2014, she applied for a apy. Her family watched, horrified, an outlier in the Indian hospitality from the transgender community. job at the Lalit hotel in Delhi. as she grew breasts and let her hair sector and follows UN guidelines One such show, featuring gar- After two years of battling her grow longer. “They were worried when it comes to employment of ments by top fashion designer Sab- I’d get into sex work. But with the LGBTQ persons and those with yasachi Mukherjee, was held last constant support of my mentor and disabilities. Launching Kitty Su – an month. Maahi, with her tall lanky boss, they gradually realised this openly gay nightclub with events proportions and model-like gait, is who I am and there is nothing such as drag nights – in a place like walked the ramp as well. wrong with it. My mother has ac- India 10 years ago was a risk, he ad- Dressed in a floor-length gown, cepted it, and my sisters meet me now and then,” she says. She is now applying for an MBA degree. Maahi still wants a more feminine pitch to her voice, but, after her sex- change operation, she is very happy with her new body. “I wear business suits and saris to work, and short dresses for parties. Oh, I take a long time to get ready for parties,” she blushes, her smile suggesting that dressing up as a woman is one of life’s greatest pleasures for her. But while she found resolution L-R: Maahi with senior employees at The Lalit New Delhi; Keshav Suri, executive director, Lalit Suri group for her gender identity, her relation- ship was destined for doom. A cou- mits – which paid off. “Change in with a confident small smile on her ple of years ago, her boyfriend had the country comes from its entre- face, she looked every bit of Maya inner demons and family conflict, to break up with her – “His fam- preneurs,” says the striking 33-year- Angelou’s ‘phenomenal woman’ as Maahi went into depression and ily married him to someone else,” old, who has earned several tourism she sashayed down the runway: decided to quit her job. When she Maahi says, flatly. awards for his brand for being dis- It’s the fire in my eyes went to speak to the hotel owner, It is part of a transgender person’s abled-friendly, and takes his role as And the flash of my teeth Keshav Suri, however, he convinced life that she appears to have accept- a spokesperson for the marginalized The swing in my waist her to stay on. “He offered me com- ed stoically. “People from my com- very seriously. And the joy in my feet. plete mental, emotional and finan- munity call me kinnar, but here, at All employees at his 14 ho- I’m a woman cial support,” says Maahi. “He said, work, I am just as accepted as every- tels go through sensitization pro- Phenomenally. ‘Wear girls’ clothes to work if you one. I don’t think I’d ever get this grammes on dealing with LGBTQ Phenomenal woman want.’ He even paid for me to move kind of job anywhere else.” and disabled colleagues, including That’s me. 

May 2018 may 2018 18 | ArT art | 19

When she was 22, Stephanie de- 2012, they had a son. Encouraged veloped a lifelong health condition by Francois, Stephanie moved on and had a near-death experience. from her Pierre Soulages-type black “It left me intensely spiritual. I re- canvases and began to paint abstract alised I had the power to create my nudes – the female form structured own life,” says the self-taught artist. in geometrical shapes and blocks of She headed to Paris, took a loan colour. A few years later, the family and set up three centres of a holistic relocated to Delhi. wellbeing chain within two years. “I “India significantly influenced wanted to help women find confi- my art. The energy of Indian wom- dence,” she explains. By the age of en leaves me awestruck. They look 26, she’d started her own company. so beautiful and feminine, smiling And then she met François Ar- even in the direst conditions,” says pels. The Paris-based businessman Stephanie. Gold paint and bright proposed to her within 10 days collages dominate her new work, in Stephanie’s new of their meeting, and they were addition to the black of her youth. work depicts married in three months. “We just “Everyone faces some complication rural Indian knew,” Stephanie says, simply. in their lives. I have been lucky,” women squatting She sold her business and, in Stephanie ends on a sincere note.  comfortably in wait colours of india French artist Stephanie Arpels is inspired by the colours of India and the energy and femininity of Indian women ver since Stephanie Le Beller like this,” she says, smiling warmly. Arpels arrived in India three Born in the town of Arras in the years ago, she has been see- north of France, Stephanie had a ing things in a new light. “My “complicated” childhood. “I felt Eeyes always fall on the colours,” says misunderstood,” she recalls, seated the French painter who was award- in her sprawling house in Delhi. ed the UN International Women’s “I grew up a rebel. I wanted to get Day Award 2018 for excellence in out of there.” Stephanie’s teen angst the field of art this March at an founds its way to paintings that event supported by the Ministry of were predominantly black, a trait Women and Child Development. “I that continued as she attended col- didn’t realise India could change me lege studying German and dietetics. From top left: Stephanie’s latest painting; with husband François and son Andrea; at the Women’s Day Awards

May 2018 may 2018 20 | cover story cover story | 21

“I clearly made a lot of people feel really uncomfortable with my idea of women being comfortable with their bodies,” Saloni wrote after her FeminisTbad ‘bra’ post went viral Actor Saloni Chopra’s provocative social-media posts and videos are her way of igniting debate on gender violence, stereotypes and sexuality By Aekta Kapoor

n August 2016, Saloni Chopra a bra, criticizing social hypocrisy posted a series of photos on In- about exposed bra straps. “#Free- stagram. They depicted the ac- TheNipple argues that men and tor holding cigarettes and plac- women should be granted the same Iards that read, “I’m a virgin,” “I’m freedoms, and protection, under an introvert,” or “I want to explore the law. The campaign is asking for my sexuality,” with captions that gender equality and opposing sex- explained why a woman should ual objectification,” she explained feel comfortable later in a video. in her body, and “I’m an actor; it’s not Instead, the why no one had MTV Girls on the right to judge my job to look pretty. Top actor and so- her for it. In other My job is to perform cial-media icon posts, “I’m a rape and look the part” was attacked for victim,” and “I being a “pseudo didn’t deserve it,” feminist”, “a pub- she recounted the experience of licity whore”, and for diverting survivors of sexual assault. attention from “real women’s is- Her series went viral. Not only sues”. Her critics used her posts to because of her provocative photos slut-shame her, ironically proving but because her campaign came her point: misogyny is ingrained in soon after she had declared her social mores, and internalized by support for the global hashtag: women themselves. #FreeTheNipple. In July, Saloni But the controversy also earned Photograph by had posted a picture holding up her an army of new supporters, Pekette Pixel

May 2018 may 2018 22 | cover story cover story | 23

and the follower count on her In- up by her maternal grandparents in stagram handle @redheadwayfarer Adelaide, Australia. A quiet child, swelled. The outspoken Saloni lost she preferred writing to speaking Saloni’s Instagram no opportunity to trigger discus- as she grew up. “It was a peaceful account handle place but I wanted to get out of @redheadwayfarer sion on rape and domestic violence; is a nod to her using current events to make state- there,” she recalls. “The chaos of auburn tresses and ments; releasing videos to inspire Mumbai attracted me.” her love for travel discussions on sex and female plea- Though her mother – who was a sure; and her own body as a kind of stylist in Bollywood – had wanted Location credit: The performance art to hold up a mir- Saloni to take up acting as a child, Sun Siam Iru Fushi, Maldives; Sun Aqua ror to viewers. Saloni signed up to study fashion Vilu Reef, Maldives Do my exposed breasts or thighs make at NIFT Mumbai. Soon, however, you uncomfortable? her pictures seem the big screen beckoned, and she to ask. Does the sight of my menstru- ended up as assistant director in al blood leave you disgusted? her eyes films such as Hrithik Roshan-star- question, defiantly. rer Krrish 3 (2013) and Kick (2014), It’s a huge career risk for an aspir- starring Salman Khan. Around the ing actor in India’s still-patriarchal same time, she got together with a entertainment industry to be this friend to make and produce Maya, blunt, this honest, this woke, this a short film about post-rape trauma firecracker vocal. But for Saloni, it that won several awards and was is who she is. Take it or leave it. even screened at Cannes. Born in India, Saloni was brought Three years ago, she was offered

L-R: With brother Sahil and mom Bindu; with her grandma who has her own online fan club, ‘Nani Chopra’

May 2018 may 2018 24 | cover story cover story | 25

“Of course I am insecure the role of Isha Jaising in MTV’s men found their way to her web about my body at times, Girls on Top, and she identified series Waking Up With Maggie in we all have good days and bad days,” says with it completely. “TV has aw- which she plays a girl who wakes Saloni, “but the trick is to ful hours,” she recalls jokingly of up from one-night stands and tell yourself you’re pretty her year shooting a full season of confronts a strange new charac- more often than you tell the show. “It doesn’t matter if you ter in her bed each time. Her new yourself you’re not.” have fever or a broken leg, the web-series Screwed Up by filmmak- show must go on. The experience er Harry Nath will be out this year. changed me,” she affirms. The 27-year-old has taken her What set Saloni apart in those turbulent past in her stride and years was how she refused to con- credits her challenges for shaping form to social standards when it came to her body and looks. “Women role models are stereo- typed into looking ‘pretty and per- fect’,” she rues. “I’m an actor; it’s not my job to look pretty. My job is to perform and look the part.” Her MTV season had another personal significance for Saloni: she had taken on her mother’s last name Chopra in her screen cred- its in deference to her brave single parent. Her decision to speak up for women’s rights was also born from having been through toxic Saloni with her partner Rahul Bhattacharya, her relationships herself. “I dated some “best friend and favourite human being” really horrible men who were con- trolling and sexist,” she recounts. her. Her partner Rahul Bhattacha- The experiences had sapped her rya, a Melbourne-based lawyer of her confidence and self-love. “If and her childhood friend, trav- this could happen to a girl raised in els frequently to spend time with Australia, imagine how girls raised her, and Saloni is unabashed about in India must feel, having been posting their romantic pictures on- brought up with everyday sexism,” line: “The more you put yourself she says, adding, “What doesn’t with all your truth out there, the kill you makes you stronger. Now more people relate to you.” Look- I don’t take shit from anyone.” ing back at her trajectory, she says, Her observations about Indian “I wouldn’t change a thing.” 

May 2018 may 2018 26 | | 27 The Power of ONE

Shahla Ettefagh at her home in Rishikesh, which overlooks the River Ganga Moving Mountains There are women out there who are driven by a cause Iranian-American educationist Shahla Ettefagh moved from California to greater than themselves. Women who are moving Rishikesh to set up a pioneering school for the hill town’s poorest children mountains, saving childhoods, bridging nations, ressed in all-white – from is a powerhouse of energy as she and being the change they wish to see. We celebrate her dupatta to shoes – takes you on a tour of her Rishi- these agents of change: educationist Shahla Ettefagh, Shahla Ettefagh stands out kesh school, which took 10 years academic Sigma Ankrava, feminist-activist Madhavi amongst the sea of colour at to reach its current form. In all this Dher school, Mother Miracle, where time, with her American work ethic, Kuckreja and social worker Christine Akello Otieno. students have been given uniforms never-say-die conviction and tough It takes just one determined spirit to transform a in four different colours to indicate love, she has not only transformed community – and the world. their houses. The petite woman the most underprivileged children

May 2018 may 2018 28 | | 29

from Rishikesh’s shanty areas into A trip to India in the winter of academic toppers and sports cham- 1995 changed everything. Travel- pions, she has also affected a re- ling via road from Varanasi to Bi- markable change in the social and har, she was initially disgusted by economic fabric of this impover- the flies and smells from heaps of ished neighbourhood, where caste rotting garbage on the way, and differences once eroded human complained constantly. The group rights and development. stopped for tea at a roadside restau- Born in Iran in the 1950s to a rant. Suddenly, a skinny three-year- wealthy family, Shahla has lived an old girl entered, her dress in tatters, eventful life. A qualified architect, her feet bare. She came up to Shahla her first marriage ended just as the and pointed at her tea. Shahla hand- 1979 Iran Revolution took place, ed it over, and the child just held it L-R: Students display a ‘township’ made from a donated bag of Lego; Shahla with Uma Shankar and team and she migrated with her son and in her palms for warmth. Then she family to America. There, her family sat on the floor and snuggled up to arms around the girl, scenes from taught English, computers and art. once again reached the pinnacle of Shahla’s legs to share her body heat. my life flashed all around me. What Students joined her year after year, wealth. Shahla lived in a three-sto- “My motherly instinct kicked in, was I doing with all my privileges?” regardless of her logistical problems. rey home in San Francisco, partied and I hugged her tiny naked body For the rest of the trip, not one In 2016, the former architect con- frequently, and travelled the globe. in my arms,” Shahla narrates. “That complaint escaped Shahla’s lips. structed a flood-free school across But her soul was not at peace. was it. With my eyes closed and my Back in USA, she became a changed over 25,000 sq ft in Shisham Jhari, woman. She stopped drinking alco- one of the most impoverished lo- hol, turned vegetarian, began doing calities in Rishikesh. She opened yoga and meditation, and adopted a her doors to the poorest of the simple lifestyle. She attended spir- poor. Soon, due to a space crunch, itual lectures and seminars almost she could choose only the brightest every second day. She also sold her children from the thousands who home and her interior art business. lined up every year for admission. In 2002, she moved permanently Realising she could not build to Rishikesh, and tried to set up a a sustainable model of education school for the poor. But she kept from personal funds alone, Shahla facing roadblocks – from fussy gov- returned to the US seeking dona- ernment officials, from cheats who tions from friends. Today, the En- ran away with her money, and from glish-medium school has about 430 nature, as the school she built would students from kindergarten to class get flooded during the rains. 10 (they are adding classes 11 and 12 Yet, Shahla steeled herself and next year). Most students have indi- pushed on. vidual sponsors who will fund their Shahla (in white, back row) with Mala Rajya Laxmi Shah, Maharani of Tehri Garhwal and Member of She gave free books, food and education till they complete college Parliament, (in yellow) with students and staff at Mother Miracle School’s annual day in April this year uniforms using her own funds. She ($480 per year per child). Besides

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free uniforms and books, the school dren, especially girls, do housework dance performances. The Mahara- Older students vow to sponsor the offers a volleyball-cum-badminton after school or hitting them. “The ja and Maharani of Tehri Garhwal next generation. Vikrant Sharma, court, basketball loop, hockey field, parents are mostly illiterate daily come in as chief guests. The sym- for instance, who is now studying table tennis, art classes, computers, wagers. They know this school is bolism is stunning: here are revered to be a neurosurgeon from Drake dance classes, science labs, clinic, a the only chance their children will members of upper-caste Hindu so- University thanks to his American large canteen where kids can eat all ever get to break out of poverty,” ciety, in a holy Hindu town, step- sponsors, will support the school as they want (“It’s often the only food Shahla says bluntly. “They’ll do any- ping into a former slum colony soon as he lands a job. Kusum Bi- they get all day”), WiFi, and mod- thing to keep them here.” where only the backward castes live, jalwan, who completed her MSc in ern, sparkling toilets that would put The kids who make it to class to support a school run by a Bud- Zoology, now works with Shahla as most government schools to shame. 12 are the best of the best. “There dhist Iranian-American. her personal assistant. Many other Corporal punishment is banned. are only three ways for you to rise It takes a fireball of love like students return – one works as the Kids are taught to meditate and above caste discrimination,” Shahla Shahla to achieve that. accountant – and an alumni asso-

L-R: Computer teacher Prateek Rastogi; Shahla with Kusum, her former student and now personal assistant L-R: Children getting their act together for their annual day; the volleyball court in the heart of the school

send “healing energy to the sick”. tutors them: “Computers, comput- From day one, she put an end ciation is in the offing. “I used to Discipline is uncompromising: ers, computers.” The school owns to all caste snobbery among the be worried about who will run the shoes must be lined up neatly out- 48 desktops; 50 more are on the school’s 42 staffers: when she heard school after I am gone,” says Shahla. side the canteen during lunch time, way. Children start learning coding the cooks pooh-poohing about “But now I can die in peace.” toys must be put back on shelves from class 6; by class 12, they can having to eat at the same table as The school chant says as much after playing, mats must be rolled design and run a complete website. the toilet cleaners, Shahla and her about Shahla as the future of these away, and lab equipment cleared. The school’s annual day is a mega (Brahmin) manager went and sat at students: “Who’s the best? I am! The cook and kitchen staff must event which hosts over 1,500 vis- the table along with them. “If you Who’s the smartest? I am! Who’s be thanked with a bow after meals. itors. Bollywood choreographer have a problem dining with your a genius? I am! Who’s the cutest? I Bullies are expelled. Parents are Uma Shankar is flown in with his colleagues, you can leave,” she said am! Who’s a champion? I AM!”  warned against making the chil- troupe to teach children elaborate sternly. That put an end to that. To contribute, visit MotherMiracle.com

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Born in the early 1950s in Riga, the University of Madras by the In- Sigma was the eldest of three sisters; dian Council of Cultural Relations. their father was a construction en- It was an exciting time for her – her gineer and mother an accountant. team organized an international ex- Sigma had a happy childhood in the pedition along the ‘amber way’, an suburbs of the capital, going skiing ancient route that linked Latvia and in summer and skating in winter. India in amber trade. Sigma orga- Bridging She did her graduation in English nized PhD scholars from 10 Latvian literature from the University of colleges and a TV crew, who flew to Latvia, and, after her Master’s, was India and made four films here. Nations offered the opportunity to study at As a result of all this activity, the the Russian Academy of Sciences University of Latvia decided to

L-R: Sigma at the opening of the Centre of Indian Studies and Culture at University of Latvia; she was The India-loving Latvian Dr Sigma Ankrava has contributed in a major instrumental in organising the first International Yoga Day celebrations in Riga in 2015 way in bringing together both countries, academically and culturally in Moscow. There, at the Institute open a Centre of Indian Studies and rofessor Dr Sigma Ankrava via from Russia,” says the professor of Oriental Studies, she did her Culture, headed by Sigma, offering sees a lot of similarities in emeritus of the University of Latvia. PhD on the Indian poetess Sarojini courses in Hindi and yoga. the history of her native Lat- But Sigma’s love for India goes Naidu, and published it as a book But Sigma wasn’t quite done. On via and her favourite home deeper than a shared sense of histo- when she was 27. a visit to Haridwar in northern In- Paway from home, India. “Both ry. Not only has she written a book She began teaching at her alma dia, she happened to come across countries developed their ideas of on India’s feminist icon, Sarojini mater, her fascination with Oriental “a beautiful gate”. It was the Dev national consciousness around the Naidu, she has also helped bridge studies still very much alive. In the Sanskriti Vishwavidyalaya Univer- same time, and began their fight for the two countries. Her ‘academic meantime, she also got married and sity. Sigma went in and presented independence in the same century diplomacy’ partly led to Latvia set- had two daughters. In 2012, Sigma herself to the administration office. – India from the British, and Lat- ting up an embassy in India in 2014. was given a two-year scholarship to “Oh, we know where Latvia is,”

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she was told. “Many Latvians come tional yoga day too. Professors from here to study yoga.” The visit led to the University of Madras were also discussions, and eventually, the act- invited to give talks, and a steady ing vice-chancellor of the universi- stream of Indian students began lin- ty signed an MOU with the Uni- ing up at Riga’s shores. versity of Latvia to set up a Centre Two years ago, Sigma’s daughter Being the for Baltic Studies in Haridwar. was offered a job at the Latvian em- But even with all this cross-cul- bassy in Delhi. Sigma was gleeful: tural exchange going on, getting vi- “Won’t you need a grandma around Change sas was cumbersome. Finally, largely to babysit your two little girls?” she due to the cooperation between the asked her daughter, who obviously Latvian and Indian universities, Lat- agreed! And so, Sigma took a sab- via set up an embassy in New Delhi. batical and headed to India again. In 2014, Sigma also helped to or- She is taking it easy this time. Her ganize the first Indo-Baltic Forum cheeks ruddy with the summer heat and, a year later, hosted the Univer- (which she doesn’t mind), she smiles sity of Bangalore. They organized happily as she heads out to pick up celebrations for the first interna- her granddaughters from school. 

Social activist Madhavi Kuckreja is not only empowering underprivileged Indian women, she’s also walking her talk in her personal life

adhavi Kuckreja briefly But Madhavi’s loved ones could toyed with the idea of only sigh: “There she goes.” marriage when she was Born to a privileged Punjabi in her 20s. “Then I real- family, Madhavi was a natural lead- Mised it won’t work for me,” decided er, and headed her students’ union the social activist, who instead in- in Lady Shri Ram College, Delhi, trospected on what drives people to where she did her graduation. For marriage like moths to a flame. “I her Master’s in international rela- liked kids and the comfort of close tions, she headed to the famed New relationships,” she reasoned, but School for Social Research in Man- why marry just for that? So, at 32, hattan, and worked in New York for she went ahead and had a biological two years, taking a year off to travel baby while single – something that around the world, from Turkey and would have scandalized all classes Egypt to Peru, Bolivia and Brazil. Clockwise from top left: The first Indo-Latvian forum in Latvia in 2015; with her husband; giving a talk at of Indian society, not just the rural On her return to India, she decid- University of Madras communities she worked with. ed to move to Chitrakoot in Uttar

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reins of Vanangana to the local Around 13 years ago, she set up women, and moved to Lucknow, Sanatkada to curate handicrafts where she began sheltering orphans from villages around India for retail and victims of sexual abuse. Soon, at her crafts outlet in Lucknow and her ‘family’ of foster kids grew, and through exhibitions in Delhi. They today, she has 20 of them, who ei- also organize food festivals and ther live with her, squeezed into her publish books on the oral history little two-bedroom flat in Lucknow, of Awadh. The Sanatkada Lucknow or study in boarding school. Festival, sponsored by automobile It wasn’t easy being a single mom, major Mahindra, is one of the most or even getting a passport for her popular events in town. son without a husband’s name. “If Ten years ago, Madhavi fell in love

Madhavi reading a copy of eShe at her parents’ home in Delhi, where she organises Sanatkada exhibitons

Pradesh for a year, and volunteered training them to be financially in- to enable Dalit women with trans- dependent. She gave workshops on formative skills such as understand- self-empowerment and legal rights. ing hand-pump mechanics. “They asked me, ‘If not marriage, A year turned into 14. then what?’ I told them marriage L-R: Madhavi at an event in Sanatkada – The Crafts Shop in Lucknow; with her partner Askari Naqvi Shaken with the condition of was about bloodlines, money, inher- women in backward areas – espe- itance – but it came with patriarchy, that was happening to someone like in her usual non-conformist way: cially those who had been raped, inherent violence and inequality.” me, imagine the lives of these single Askari Naqvi, a performance artist, abandoned by families, or were vic- Soon, the young feminist real- mothers in villages,” she shakes her is not only Muslim but also 24 years tims of domestic violence – the ac- ised she’d have to walk her talk: she head. “They had no crèches for kids, younger than her. “There she goes tivist decided to stay on and set up couldn’t well preach against mar- no support – how could they make again,” her loved ones sighed. The her first NGO, Vanangana. “As long riage if she gave in to social pressure a living? Exerting sexuality is not an couple adopted a baby girl, now 10 as marriage is central for women, from back home to get married option for them; society can only months old. “I’m changing nappies things in India are not going to herself. So she had a baby outside tolerate widows and divorcees if again after a gap of 21 years,” Mad- change,” says Madhavi, who began marriage. After the initial outrage, they are bechaaris (pitiable), not em- havi smiles, bouncing the gurgling educating girls – especially battered her defiant act sealed Madhavi’s po- powered.” The experience taught baby on her knee. The couple is not wives in the most impoverished ar- sition as a fearless non-conformist. her about the inherent strength in married, of course.  eas of Banda and Chitrakoot – and In 2004, she handed over the women, and their resilience. Follow @Sanatkada on Facebook

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an old port town best known for Akello travelled alone to Kampala, its Hollywood connection: it is the Uganda, to complete her A-levels. Saving hometown of Oscar-winner Lupita She also did her Bachelor’s in social Nyong’o, who starred in Black Pan- work from the prestigious Makere- ther and 12 Years A Slave. re University there. She could not Childhoods In her childhood, however, Akello attend her graduation ceremony, was exposed to the brutal injustices however, as her mother passed away: of cultural vices through the girls Akello was back in Kisumu, bury- and women her mother worked ing her mother the same day. with. “The girl child is an inferior Akello then worked for a few member of society – the husband years in the development sector,

L-R: Akello presented a paper on Feminism and Activism at the 10th Ewha Global Empowerment Program Christine Akello Otieno’s NGO Toto Afrika uses rugby, music and education in South Korea; the children Akello works with, outside the Toto Afrika office to protect vulnerable children in coastal Kenya from falling into crime and drug abuse, and to help them aspire to a brighter future can even divorce his wife if she only before returning to Kenya and set- bears him daughters. If a young girl tling in Mombasa. “I spent a lot y the time Christine Akello ing, while also being the sole bread- gets pregnant in school, she is treat- of time with street kids, talking to Otieno was in high school, winner for the family. “My moth- ed as ‘soiled goods’ and often mar- them about their situation. When I she had already decided she er just couldn’t send people away,” ried off as the second or third wife saw what was happening with or- wanted to get into social Akello shares. “If we complained of an old man. My mother would phans, my heart broke,” she recalls. Bwork when she grew up. Having lost about the costs, she always said, ‘You take care of these girls, and advocate She did a thesis about the situation her father in early adolescence, she don’t understand. God will provide.’ for them to be taken back to school. of potential orphans – those whose had seen her mother be a “mother And somehow, we survived.” You don’t stop cooking just because parents had HIV, for instance – and to everybody” besides Akello’s six Born in the picturesque sea town the cooking ladle breaks, she would worked with kids with neurological siblings, taking in homeless children of Mombasa on the east coast of tell them, advising them to be stoic problems, and with those in juve- and orphans or victims of traffick- Kenya, Akello was raised in Kisumu, and never give up,” Akello says. nile prison. She counselled them,

May 2018 may 2018 40 |

and taught them music and games. munity, and educates them about Initially, she worked only with boys, the hazards of marrying girls off but then realised girls had more early. Initially, she faced resistance problems. “In some villages, the because she is an unmarried wom- poor girls wear leaves during men- an herself. “They thought I’m too struation, and when the leaves leak independent, and would be a bad and soil their clothes, their male influence on their submissive and classmates laugh at them and taunt respectful wives,” she says, but over them, ‘Oh, now you will get preg- time, they have come to accept nant’,” Akello says. She decided to Akello, and even come to her for marital counselling. Akello registered Toto Afrika in 2012 and started operations in 2013. She now has about 70 chil- dren in the age group six to 17 who come in to study four times a week, play rugby and learn how to use the concept of rugby tackling to “tackle life”. Most children also stay till late evening to finish their homework, as their own homes don’t have elec- tricity or lack space or the required SUBSCRIBE NOW! books. Akello invites mentors from Akello with a part of the Toto Afrika rugby team at different walks of life to give moti- Mombasa Sports Club vational talks and career guidance, so that the children can have am- Fill up this form and send it along with your cheque or demand draft to: educate young girls on menstrual bitions beyond being somebody’s Coral Content, C3/1 Ground Floor, Vasant Vihar, New Delhi 110057, India hygiene and sexual reproductive house help or guard. Toto Afrika health. “Some girls take pills all year has a small library, and offers the Tick*:  6 months @ Rs 900  12 months @ Rs 1200 round because they don’t want to children basic meals, the means for menstruate as they cannot afford which they receive as contribution Name: ______sanitary towels. Or some of them from the NGO’s board of directors. sleep with the shopkeeper or bod- “If society doesn’t take care of its Address: ______aboda (motorbike) riders for a pack- orphans and vulnerable children, et of sanitary towels or for food. they will grow up into thugs and City: ______Pin Code: ______Their bodies are abused so young,” harm society itself. It is a collective she goes on, shaking her head sadly. responsibility,” Akello says.  Mobile: ______Email:______Besides educating the children, To contribute or volunteer, contact Christine also works with the com- Akello at [email protected] *For Indian residents only. You can also place orders at eshe.ccavenue.com

May 2018 42 | PERjourneySONAL GROWTH journey | 43

Shazia Imam had to lose a child and a marriage before she could find herself. Today, the Indian-American is out to help women with their own transformative changes woman er name means ‘unique zip code”. Five years later, she got beautiful leader’ in Urdu pregnant. “I had that white-pick- and Arabic, “but I was et-fence story signed, sealed and more like a ‘confused stuck delivered... except that’s all it was, rising Hfollower’ for the greater portion of a story,” she writes on her website my life,” says Shazia Imam in jest. TheLifeEngineer.com. And yet, today, with her confident She went into labour earlier than demeanour, compassionate gaze, expected, but her son survived only and courage in speaking out, she a few hours. “He wasn’t meant to has transformed her life and per- be with us,” she says, sadly. Losing sonality, and lived up to her name. her baby left Shazia broken in more Born to Indian-origin parents in Washington DC, Shazia was brought up with traditional values that she says are not only represen- tative of Indian Muslims but also “any girl, anywhere”. “There’s all of this idea around what perfec- tion is,” she says, admitting that she herself subscribed to it for most of her youth. As a student, she excelled in mathematics and science, finally graduating with a degree in indus- trial and systems engineering. ways than one. Her marriage began Following the trajectory of a to fall apart. “I tried to hold it all to- “perfect” life, she got a job at one of gether for a while, but then, the di- the world’s largest consulting com- vorce came through, and I was sud- panies, and had a traditional wed- denly all alone.” It was hard enough ding at the age of 23 with a man to lose her son but it was even hard- she met through her community. er to think her husband was leav- “He was Pakistani-American (so, ing her, admits Shazia. “There were desi and same culture),” she narrates. times I felt like my life was going to Shazia settled into the “perfect end, and I even wished it would end suburban life with a perfect hus- – because who would I be without band, a perfect house in a perfect these things? Who was I?”

May 2018 may 2018 44 | journey crime | 45

And yet, being a person with new people from different paths. deep faith, Shazia soon understood The more Shazia explored the that “whatever happens is for the world, the more she discovered her- Why Men best.” “Even when your heart is self. After a year of her divorce, she breaking, and you’re crying alone in met a wonderful man. They mar- your bed late at night, and no one ried a few months later, and Shazia knows what’s going on with you, moved to Texas. God knows. And God knew what The process to self-realisation was meant for me,” she affirms. took a while, “and the story contin- The journey of self-discovery ues,” she says, but what helped was Celebratedrape speaker, somatic therapist and social entrepreneur Vasu that began at the end of her son’s following her heart – and helping Primlani tells us what leads men to rape and what we can do about it others. She became a life coach, and now helps other women feel ou may have seen Vasu awards globally, including India’s worthy, see their own gifts, and live Primlani’s video on solu- Nari Shakti Award 2017. Here are their purpose. The 38-year-old ad- tions to India’s rape crisis. excerpts from our interview with mits she does feel deep sadness at The five-minute clip has her about India’s ‘rape epidemic’. times but has learnt to see her life in goneY viral on WhatsApp groups What are your thoughts on the Kathua perspective and to count her bless- and online especially after the hor- and Unnao rapes? Why do men rape? ings: “I feel good about myself now; rific gang-rape of an eight-year- Unnao and Kathua are the shame of my heart feels at peace.” old child in Kathua, besides news India. At the same time, you have Shazia also runs a blog and pod- from elsewhere to know what cast where she interviews inspir- in India of mi- causes rape to ing women from all over America. nors being raped fix it. No child is “There’s an imbalance of masculine and murdered. born a criminal energy in the world, and we can see A child-rape or a rapist. They how that’s playing out. We need our survivor herself, are made into divine feminine energy to rise. We Vasu is one of one. Men who need women’s voices to be heard. America’s most rape have been This is what will bring the world prominent social through a great back to balance. It’s positive for entrepreneurs. deal of physical, both men and women,” she avers. . com She is also a so- emotional, and/ life culminated in an unexpected The biggest lessons Shazia has matic therapist, actor, environ- or sexual abuse as children. They

rush of relief the day her husband of learnt are in acceptance, being pres- the life engineer mentalist, professor (at institutions have seen how violence operates. 10 years left their house for the final ent in the moment, and keeping such as IIT, XIMB, University of Who creates rapists? We do, as a time. “I suddenly felt free to be me,” hope alive. “Your voice matters and imam / Michigan among others), besides society. A study on developmental on pi x abay ale x as fotos

you matter,” she says. “Share your : experiences of child sexual abusers says Shazia. She made a “dreams : sha z ia also a triathlete and one of India’s list” and began doing things she’d light even if it’s with just one per- leading standup comedians. She and rapists*, which studied 269 sex- never done before – taking sewing son. The collective light will illumi- has received over a dozen environ- ual offenders, found that child sex- credit P hoto lessons, travelling alone, meeting nate the world.”  credit P hoto mental and economic leadership ual abusers reported more frequent

May 2018 may 2018 46 | crime crime | 47

experiences of child sexual abuse different from the other? hours. He was raped himself as a or respect them. Bollywood is full (73%) and early exposure to por- Some of India’s richest children boy (as was true of Nirbhaya’s rapist of disrespect toward women. nography (65% before age 10). In go through neglect, having been as well). If we can save even one How can women help to create a safer contrast, rapists reported more fre- raised by maids and nurses when rapist’s life, it’s worth it. environment for themselves? quent experiences of physical abuse the parents are busy being success- Almost every second news item today Raise your boys properly. A lot (68%) and parental violence (78%). ful. Rape is an age-old weapon of in India is about sexual assault or gen- of women don’t know how to say Both child sexual abusers and rap- war. If you have a son or a husband, der violence. Is so much media attention no. It took my mother years before ists (>93%) reported frequent ex- can you imagine him raping some- helpful or is it aggravating the problem? she could stop her husband from posure to violent media during one as a soldier? For some men it is Exposure to violence of any kind throwing me out of the house their childhood. less possible than does make an impact on the level when I was four years old, then Most offenders for others. Why? of violence. Exposure to pornog- when I was 15. A lot of mothers (94%) described How can we stop raphy at a young age has a similar have to protect their children from having insecure rape? deleterious effect, because the boys their own husbands. If women re- parental attach- You don’t have are not old enough to distinguish fuse to get married when others ask ment bonds. to talk to victims between what them to, refuse These chil- to stop rape. You they watch, and “You don’t have to talk to have chil- dren grow to be can stop rape real women. dren when they adults, and to only by chang- We need to talk to victims to stop rape. are told to, and lack empathy – ing the rapists. about this stuff, you can stop rape only by do it only when because no one By doing criti- yes, but with- changing the rapists” they want to, considered their cal, immediate out assigning we would have feelings in the rehabilitation for blame, judg- happier moth- first place. rapists. Rapists ment, politi- ers, and there- What about the know shame, cizing the issue. What solutions fore happier children. rapes of girls from humiliation and have been talked about? And please Can a rapist ever be rehabilitated and the weaker com- violence. What don’t insult India by recommend- learn to respect women? munities by those they do not ing the removal of dark windows For some, it’s too late. They are all in positions of pow- know is what on buses or draping girls in coats monster, and no man. But I con- er? Doesn’t a sense Vasu Primlani safety feels like. in Indian summers as a solution to jecture that most can – through of entitlement drive Or what kind- rape. When you don’t know what dedicated and detailed work. My these men? ness is. They have to have their caused it, you can’t solve it. experience with a rapist tells me Yes, sense of entitlement, but I humanity restored. When I did How can the media help in promoting even though they seem happy on know enough young rich brats to counselling for a rapist, I was told respect towards women? the surface, they carry as much whom it does not occur to rape a he has no feelings. They beat him Showing images of true respect. trauma as a gang-rape victim. I call woman. Wealth and upper caste and threw him out of the house, Showing women as strong. And by upon all healers of society to stand have nothing to do with the ab- and not one tear from him. When promoting programs of healing and by me in conducting a nationwide sence of violence. Hitler and Char- I did somatic therapy for him, and education for boys and men. Indian program for this greatest of epi- lie Chaplin both had bad child- caressed his forehead with kind- men, by and large, don’t know how demics facing India right now.  ;32(5):549-60. d o i : 10.1016/j. chia bu.2007.03.027. ;32(5):549-60.

hoods. What makes one man ness, he cried non-stop for three 2008 Abu se Negl . hild C Du rha m RL. SK, Wu rtele * S i mon s DA, May to talk to women, relate to them, Read the full interview on eShe.in

May 2018 may 2018 48 | entrepreneur entrepreneur | 49

and her teachers loved it. The girl three years, was a vastly complex was clearly meant for visual arts. work of art: she and her team con- Brought up all over India as her verted the film with 60,000 char- father worked in the aviation in- acters and 40 environments. They dustry, Charuvi did her graduation turned it into an application for in painting from the Delhi College tablets, and even a book. of Art, where she was a gold med- As she’d feared, the promot- allist all through. She then moved er bailed out and she ended up to Canada to study animation at co-funding the film herself. “But by Sheridan Institute of Technolo- gy and Advanced Learning, and to work there with some of the best minds from around the world, mak- ing music videos, animations for TV shows and so on. In the meantime, her student film The Tenth Avatar was travelling to film festivals around the world, and Charuvi was being invited to speak at computer graphics conferences. By the time she returned to India, her reputation preceded her. She was offered an unusual project: a 3D animation film on the life of the Hindu god, Hanuman. The money life in 3D involved was substantial: “I could set Designer, filmmaker and visual artist Charuvi Agrawal was hired for an up my own studio in that amount,” unusual project – it went on to change her life Charuvi thought to herself. Yet she A 3D sculpture of a buff-bodied Hanuman made was wary as the promoter was errat- with 26,500 bells, measuring 25 feet in height hen Charuvi Agrawal entrepreneur, who now runs the ic with fulfilling his commitments. was in class six, she made award-winning animation studio, Encouraged by her mother to then, I had started believing in the a self-portrait. Her art Charuvi Design Labs. take on the project anyway, Charu- deity’s virtues,” says Charuvi, who teacher announced that Winning competitions came easy vi immersed herself wholeheartedly began hero-worshipping Hanuman. Wit was too “mature” for her age, and to her from then on: in class sev- in it. She set up her own studio in Some of her relatives worried told Charuvi to throw it and start en, she made miniature statues of Delhi and hired 30 animators. She about her devotion: “Lord Hanuman again. Though the child cried ini- prominent politicians, which made travelled to Varanasi to understand was a brahmachari (celibate). He’s the tially, she later went and submitted it to the Limca Book of Records. In the lore behind the Hanuman Chal- wrong god for a single 30-year-old it in an art competition. “That was high school, she used art and graph- isa, a devotional hymn dedicated to girl,” they opined, warning, “She’ll my first win,” says the 34-year-old ics to draw her answers during tests, the simian god. Her film, made over never get married as long as she’s

May 2018 may 2018 50 | entrepreneur books | 51

life and fantasy Here are our top three books of the month

Homesick For Another World Ottessa Moshfegh (Vintage, Rs 499) After a critically acclaimed debut novel, Eileen (2015), Bos- ton-based Ottessa Moshfegh’s latest collection of short stories Homesick for Another World was much awaited. Bizarre and breath- taking, the characters in the book will delight and disgust you with their all-too-relatable human failings and impulses. Some of the stories uplift you and others leave you wishing you could delete them from memory. But that’s the one thing Moshfegh has proved she is masterful at: her stories are unforgettable.

Clockwise from left: A kavad ‘cabinet of curiosity’; a zoetrope on the Thali Bajao Andolan during the time of The Legend of Virinara JP Narayan; miniature figurines from the characters in her film Hanuman Chalisa (Penguin Books India, Rs 299) A fantasy novel set in India’s deep past, The Legend of Virinara is working on this project.” missioned many more pieces of art, the story of a princess whose life takes her from the royal palace But the god blessed her in more including a sophisticated zoetrope to the forests, where she falls in love with her kingdom’s enemy. ways than one. on the life of JP Narayan. Usha Alexander’s third novel – like her second – uses India’s rich The film went viral after its re- She also met entrepreneur Aditya cultural history as the colourful backdrop of a woman’s coming lease in 2013, and went on to win Singhal, who would go on to help of age. Questions of love, purpose and individuality find difficult numerous awards around the world. in marketing the Hanuman Chalisa answers in morality, loyalty and family. An interesting woman Charuvi created a large 25-foot su- film for her. They fell in love, and herself, Alexander’s new book is an engrossing page-turner. perhero-like sculpture of Hanuman married as soon as the project was using 26,500 bells, which made it to complete. They now have a two- the Limca Book of Records and was ex- year-old son, Vikramaditya. The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock hibited across India. She also made a Charuvi is busy these days on the Imogen Hermes Gowar (Harvill Secker, Rs 599) series of kavads, an ancient Chhatis- next art installation and is moving This debut novel haunts you with its vivid imagery and gripping garhi form of art, somewhat like to a bigger, swankier office in Gu- prose. Revolving around a melancholic widower, a talented pros- cabinets of curiosity. She was facil- rugram. Professional in her demea- titute and a dead mermaid, the fantasy novel has you hooked line itated at the ‘Incredible India@60’ nour and yet humble and thought- and sinker. The historical details are noteworthy: 1780s’ London Festival in New York as one of “the ful in conversation, she has got the is carefully sketched out, from carriages clattering on cobbled emerging 10 who would transform hang of running a successful busi- streets to chamber pots emptied onto passers-by! While the plot the global artistic landscape”. She ness. Going by her talent and drive, does stretch one’s imagination at times, it’s all par for the course got several projects and was com- it’s only about to get better.  when you’re reading such a dreamy piece of literature.

May 2018 may 2018 52 | author interview author interview | 53

longlisted for the Women’s Prize for them is living them in our every- Fiction, and much of her writing day lives. Therefore, we recommend Schoolbags touches political, religious or cul- parents read this book. Growing to- tural themes. So it was a natural fit. gether with our children is a valu- Which age group are you targeting? able process. This primary target age of this book (Jemma) We have seen through- & Spirituality is 9 to 11 year olds. But we hope out history so many ways that re- Sonal Sachdev Patel and Jemma Wayne-Kattan came together to write a that it is something that older chil- ligion can divide, but beneath such dren and even parents may re-read. appropriation is a spirituality that children’s book based on the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita Your protagonist is a young boy who has the power to lift people. has recently lost his father – what was the inspiration behind this plot? Dev is struggling to cope with grief. However, when a sprite-like being, Sanjay (who represents di- vine introspection) goes inside his body and confronts Dev’s emotions we are able to literally weave our way and see first-hand how some of the messages from the Gita can help children like Dev better cope. You have brought in kriya yoga, chakras, besides concepts of Gita. Why do you feel it is important for young children to understand these topics? Paramahansa Yogananda showed Sonal Sachdev Patel Jemma Wayne-Kattan that meditation, and specifically Kriya yoga, is a central tenet of the follower of Ramakrishna Why did you decide to come together to Gita as it is through this tool that Jemma, when did you get attracted to Paramahamsa, and a sea- write this book? we can access our true soul nature. Eastern spirituality? soned journalist who loves We wanted to combine our If children learn and practise these For me, the attraction was the uni- Eastern thought. The duo strengths. Sonal had been looking concepts, then they will be able to versality of the messages in the Gita. Abehind Gita: The Battle of the Worlds for a way to bring the timeless mes- apply them throughout their lives. Sonal, religion has become a ‘bad word’ (Harper Collins India), Sonal Sach- sages of the Gita to children today. How do we instil spiritual values in our in today’s India. How do we fix this? dev Patel and Jemma Wayne-Kattan She had been inspired by her Guru, children, who are brought up surrounded I believe we can fix this by look- have come up with an interesting Paramahansa Yogananda’s interpre- by gadgets and ‘virtual’ relationships? ing at the true universality behind way to teach children about spiritu- tations. Jemma has a wealth of ex- (Sonal) Children do what we do, religions and the many things that al concepts. Here are excerpts from perience in both journalism and and not what we say. The best way unite all people.  an interview with them. fiction writing. Her first novel was of instilling spiritual values into Read the full interview on eShe.in

May 2018 may 2018 54 | column column | 55

that for a fact since I was there – ing risks, and hurtling headfirst into I’m half that pair, you see. entrepreneurship. how we went And one autumn morning of The air was thick with the buzz 2015, I woke up in my Washington of Make in India. The powers spoke DC home in a dull panic. Nothing of great visions for the nation and off script dramatic, really – just a strained un- grand schemes of success. But as we A young couple give up their well-set corporate careers in the US and easiness, a parched throat and a solid soon discovered, outside the world move to India for a reason that’s a mystery even to them – at first titanium bowling ball in the pit of of the front-page news, contracts my belly. And no matter how much were merely suggestions, timelines By Sana Hoda-Sood I willed my body into hauling itself were laughable at best, naps were a nce upon a time, there marched on, as their family grew into the shower and off on that reg- survival mechanism and money was lived a couple who – apart and the hamster wheel they raced ular route to my ordinary life, it just a hazy, misty memory. Then, there from being irregularly tall on creaked more frequently, those refused to budge. The rehearsal was was the college intern who warned – maintained an otherwise well-rehearsed answers began to over. It was time for a grand new I would fail without her insight, and Oregular life. They woke at the same feel like a carefully crafted sham. Till opening. the investor who’d time to the blare of their alarms, more and more, the pair couldn’t re- And so the pair, The air was thick with only message me then commuted to work every day member those well-rehearsed lines and their little pair, after midnight. via the same regular route, where anymore. And I happen to know forgot their lines the buzz of Make in So, two years they participated in meetings about and went com- India. The powers down, a twinge of meetings that had previously been pletely off script. spoke of great visions longing for that held, only to discuss what should We packed up old ordinary does be attended to at a future meeting. our bags, and more for the nation creep in every so Emails were sent, best regards were bags still. We fit often – those pre- conveyed, and the relevant attach- our lives into a 20-foot container, dictable emails, the familiar meet- ments were often forgotten. shred the script into tiny scraps and ings. But on most days and nights, It wasn’t all drab and droll, no, of bid farewell to everything familiar we relish in the extraordinary. No course it wasn’t. A ray of hope often and comfortable. adventure seems far-fetched. If it shone through their ordinary days. The askers were mortified – a can be done, we try it; if it’s a mis- The muted excitement of a new startup in Delhi after a lifetime in take, we don’t mourn it. Even the fancy coffee machine in the office the US wasn’t an answer they’d smallest wins deserve celebrating, as kitchen, for one. It has pods! Fla- willingly accept. “But!” they pro- they’re victories we eked out of tiny vours! We have choices! Choices! tested. But! But! But! scraps. There’s a peculiar enjoyment Like real-life free humans! But by then, we were busy build- in toying with that titanium bowl- Free humans with coffee pods and ing something out of the ordinary. ing ball in my belly here and now, paychecks and stability. A foresee- Our startup didn’t come with a in the most bizarre way. able financial future, and a well-re- script – we were writing the lines Entrepreneurship has spectacu- hearsed answer to where they’d be as we went along, cobbling togeth- larly astonished us.  in the next five years. er words as and when we chanced Sana Hoda-Sood is the co-founder of But then, as the days and years Sana Hoda-Sood upon them. Making mistakes, tak- HappyShappy.com

May 2018 may 2018 56 | recipes recipes | 57

cook an array of gourmet dishes. and hygienic well-plated meals. She When she was 20, Shreyaa de- also makes her own range of home- cided to make a career as a fitness made pastes and sauces that are pre- trainer. She noticed that even peo- servative-free and gluten-free. ple who exercised to stay fit were “Health is not just about fitness; often eating the wrong foods that it’s about mental, physical and spiri- would achieve the opposite of their tual balance,” says the youthful chef, goal. “The notion that healthy food who did a course in permaculture involved two sticks each of carrot last year, and follows sustainable and celery with a little olive oil and sea salt drizzled on it needed to go,” she says. So she decided to change that. After decades of cooking and armed with a Cordon Bleu certifi- cation from Thailand, Shreyaa start- ed her own small home catering business called Shreyaa’s Kitchen in 2011. Since then, her business has grown by word of mouth, and she caters to all kinds of events from six to 100 persons, from formal sit-down dinners to buffets. She’s known for her healthy and innova- a little tive cuisine – ranging from Asian to European, vegan to barbeque, soups to desserts – and her penchant for organically grown ingredients. bit of thai ’ s K itchen “It is important for everyone to Shreyaa Shah Epicurean, chef and caterer Shreyaa Shah brings together good at least know the basics of healthy S hreyaa food with good health in her cuisine and workshops cooking,” says Shreyaa. “That’s why waste management methods. “The I offer cooking classes for people to role of seasonal vegetables is very or Shreyaa Shah, who trav- early on. From the age of 16, she get over their fears of cooking and important to me. I want to get more elled the world as a child and began doing aerobics (“Those were realise that it’s not rocket science!” involved with organic farms close was raised between Delhi, the Jane Fonda days,” she chuckles), She’s also sought-after for her do- by to add more of such produce to Nepal and the picturesque while experimenting with health mestic-staff training course, through my kitchen,” she says. Fdistrict of Tehri Garhwal in Ut- food at the same time. As fate would courtesy and photographs which she teaches domestic helpers In this issue of eShe, she shares four tarakhand, food and fitness were have it, she married into a “food- how to plan menus, balance food fantastic Thai recipes that abound in recipes

the two greatest joys she discovered ie” household, where she learnt to A ll groups, and make fresh, delicious good health, and taste too.

May 2018 may 2018 58 | recipes Recipes | 59 thai green curry with vegetables miso soup with greens and tofu

Ingredients: sliced thin Stir for 2–3 minutes. Ingredients: 1-2 tbsp miso Add 1 tsp of miso first, 3 tbsp Shreyaa’s 15 leaves sweet basil 2. Add coconut milk 1 cup fresh vegetable taste, and if you need Kitchen Green Curry ½ cup coriander leaves little by little and then stock made with carrot, Instructions: more miso, add it little paste Seasoning: add eggplants. Boil for onion potato, celery, 1. Place stock in a sauce by little. 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2 tbsp fish sauce or soy a minute. garlic and ginger pan and boil. 4. Remove the pan 4 cups coconut milk sauce 3. Add seasoning, kaffir 50-100 gm chopped 2. Reduce heat, add from the heat before Vegetables (broccoli, 1 tbsp palm sugar lime leaves, red chilli. greens (bok choy, greens and simmer the miso soup boils snow peas, peas, Salt to taste 4. When the curry spinach or any other) for 5–7 minutes. Put in again. And then add mushrooms cut into boils, add the blanched 50-100 gm chopped tofu. the bok choy back into small pieces, blanched) Instructions: vegetables and sweet green onions (light and 3. Place 3 tbsp of miso the pan. 1 tsp roasted cumin 1. In a saucepan on basil leaves. dark green parts only) into a small bowl, add 5. Garnish with green powder medium heat add 5. Garnish with coconut 50-100 gm extra firm a little hot water and onions. 1 big red chilli, sliced vegetable oil, red curry cream, sliced red chilli tofu, 1” cubes whisk until smooth. 6. Serve hot. 4 kaffir lime leaves paste, cumin powder. and coriander leaves.

May 2018 may 2018 60 | recipes recipes | 61 KHOW SUEY

Ingredients: 1 cup cauliflower, Instructions: 3 tbsp Shreyaa’s chopped, blanched 1. Add the paste and Kitchen Khow Suey 1 cup carrot, blanched sauté for 2 minutes. paste 1 cup mushroom, Add coconut milk, 3 tbsp roasted gram sliced, blanched gram flour and boil for powder, mixed well in 3 3-4 onion, deep fried 20 minutes. tbsp coconut milk 15 pods sliced garlic, 2. Season with salt, 1 tbsp oil fried cumin and add grated 4 cups coconut milk 6 tbsp ginger, finely coconut. Add the 1 tbsp roasted cumin chopped and fried chicken and cook till powder Roasted peanuts tender or add blanched 1-2 tsp salt to taste Chopped spring onions vegetables. Turn off the ½ cup coriander Boiled egg whites, gas and add the lemon Juice of 3 lemons grated juice. Garnish with Red chilli powder chopped coriander. For accompaniments: Green chilli (optional) 3. Boil noodles, drain. 1 cup chicken, boiled, 150 gm egg noodles, 4. Serve noodles in one shredded boiled dish, curry in another pad thai noodles 1 cup shrimp, blanched 4 spring onions, and accompaniments in 1 cup peas, blanched chopped small bowls. Ingredients: 2 tbsp fish sauce packet of noodles and ½ packet Pad Thai 3 tbsp Sriracha sauce soak them in cold water noodles 2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce for half an hour. Add ½ cup green onions, cut 1 tbsp tomato ketchup pan fried tofu, evenly long and fine browned. ¼ cup tofu, cut into Instructions: 4. Add the soaked, small cubes pan fried 1. Make a thick paste drained noodles. 1 cup bean sprouts using non-spicy, whole 5. Add the paste and 2-3 tbsp peanuts, dried red chillies soaked mix well till all the roasted and crushed in water overnight. ingredients are mixed Garnish with fried garlic 2. Cook all the well with the noodles. and Togarashi powder ingredients together Use as much as you For the paste: in a pan until the paste require to coat the 5 tbsp tamarind paste, becomes thick and noodles. heaped is of slightly sticky 6. Sprinkle green onions, 3 tbsp palm sugar or consistency (can also be bean sprouts, peanuts jaggery powder stored in a bottle). and fried garlic over the 1 tsp salt 3. Take about ½ a noodles and serve.

May 2018 may 2018 62 | spirituality spirituality | 63

ancient seers as a divination board or career decision. I also met some that can predict a soul’s journey wonderful souls during this journey, moksha in the through this life and others. It can and got a chance to take a dip in the guide an individual through predi- holy Ganges. I gained a renewed re- mountains lections and difficult dilemmas, as spect for our ancient sages and seers, A hillside hermitage, a guru who uses English slang, a workshop on a well as give guidance for day-to-day and I now have this intense desire life. I was amazed to learn that this to study the scriptures as I find the spiritual tool for divination – this is quite a getaway board-and-dice method of predic- teachings fascinating. By Dr Urvashi Tandon tion was designed after an intense study of numerology, laws of karma, chakras and Vedic philosophy. The theory of karma stares you in the face as you cruise along the board. Every good deed takes you up a ladder to a higher plane of spirituality, while every wrong step – from violence to greed – brings you down to a lower plane. It also depicts very clearly the alternating patterns or the co-existence of the “good” and the “bad” as you cruise along – ultimately, both are essential parts of human existence. The evolution of the soul un- folds on the board telling you about the ups and downs, and offers you a chance to be aware of what lies ahead, thus enabling you to deal From top: A view of the Ganges; Dr Urvashi (second estled in the Himalayas, in Ganges in a hermitage, surrounded with a given situation better. The from right) with other workshop participants the region of Tehri Gar- by the bounty of nature, and con- trick is to develop an intuitive con- hwal in Uttarakhand, lives ducts workshops from time to time nect with the board and put forth Well, apparently, the British found Ma Gyaan Suveera. The to help city-folk like me understand your queries as you go along. the game fascinating too. Having Nmiddle-aged but youthful guru our ancient philosophies better. With over 30 persons in the discovered it in India during the

teaches lessons in spirituality – from I was fortunate to attend one such sharma workshop organised by Healing Raj, they took it back with them Vedic mantras to tantric tools – us- stimulating workshop this April and, with Feeling, it was interesting to to England and converted it to an ing everyday English, even slang, I have to admit, I was star-struck by see how the board answered various indoor board game called Snakes & : manisha and urban examples to explain her zeal, energy and pizzazz. questions and personal scenarios – Ladders. I feel so proud to belong to complex philosophical concepts. The three-day workshop was from searching for a life partner to a land that is a storehouse of ancient

She lives on the hillside along the about the Mokshapata, devised by credit P hoto helping someone make a business wisdom. 

May 2018 may 2018 64 | PERSONAL GROWTH PERSONAL GROWTH | 65

style meant that keeping that which memories, letting go of allows for no longer served was not high on space to create new and better serv- my priority list. ing concepts. Often when we delve Not only were my friends con- deeply, we realise the emotion was vinced that I would be “challenged” wrong from the start. with packing my bags, they were Another reason for ditching adamant that I would also find the physical baggage was a selfish one. change itself a trial: “Change can For me, there is nothing better than never be a good thing, right?” At watching someone else enjoy your my age, especially, change is seen as gifts, right now in the present, to- equivalent to a midlife crisis. day. The local ladies’ impromptu hen my husband and I had first ‘Kay Newton’ fashion parade was Wtold our peers we were mov- certainly a highlight of the whole ing to Africa, it had caused much Zanzibar journey and had me in consternation. Now that I was hysterics. As well as helping them about to leave Africa, the comments with clothing for themselves and were no longer based on adapting their families and receiving thanks to a third-world country, and were in return, it has created positive last- instead all about how I would cope ing memories for me. going back to the bustle of a mod- Change, whatever it is, is prefera- ern world. I acknowledged all the ble to stagnation – it means you are “encouragement” I received from not dead yet! It is never the change my peers and thanked them for that gets you; it is the way you go their concerns and then decided, about adapting to the change that a light move after a few seconds’ thought, to ig- counts. It is always a choice. Making a big life change becomes easier if you ditch the emotional and nore them all! PS: My bag weighed just 17 kg Within the space of two hours, I on the airport scales. physical baggage, and travel light – in body and heart had divided my “stuff” into three By Kay Newton piles. The coming-with-me pile, the staying-in-the-house pile, and y three-year adventure rush, I had done this many times the giving-as-gifts pile. We do not in Zanzibar was about to before and it wouldn’t take long to need to become too attached to come to an end. It was pack a 23 kg suitcase. anything. More importantly, we do time for me to leave this My friends didn’t believe me. not need to become attached to the Mparadise and begin a new chapter “Surely you must have accumulat- emotion that the object holds, and teven L ewis on U nsplash

in my life. With two days to go, the ed lots of possessions, bought lots of : S this is the key. messages from my acquaintances memorabilia,” they said. The short The emotions we feel about stuff Kay Newton is a personal development coach were clear: “I had better start pack- answer was NO! Living in a two- are nothing more than emotions. based in UK. She’s an author, confidante and Tai Chi

ing!” Yet I knew I had no need to roomed house and a minimalist life- C redit P hoto If the object caused you painful instructor. Follow her on www.Kay-Newton.com

May 2018 may 2018 66 | screenshot PERSONAL GROWTH | 67 Every woman has a The Write Way story – what’s yours? reeti roy, 29, mumbai

was interested in literature even as a child. Born in Kolkata I as the fourth of five siblings, my chartered accountant par- ents fostered an intellectual environment at home. I followed up my Bachelor’s in English literature with a degree in social anthropology from the London School of Economics. I started my career as a research associate at Columbia University. The next few years were an incredible learning ex- perience, as I was chosen as a LAMP fellow (a legislative as- sistant to a Member of Parliament) and was mentored by Dr Shashi Tharoor. I also worked with Harvard Business School’s India Research Centre and Pratham Education Foundation, researching during the day and editing books for top publish- ing houses during the night. In 2014, I started Aglet Ink after realizing that many pro- fessionals were unable to present themselves well on paper. We help job hunters frame their resumes and cover letters. Since then, I’ve worked with clients all over the world. Early on, I found myself not negotiating my pay. But now, if I don’t get paid what I think I am worth, I walk away from the project. You have to believe in yourself. There is absolutely no substitute for plain old-fashioned hard work.  To read, buy or download, visit eShe.in To advertise, write to [email protected] Follow @esheworld

May 2018 may 2018 68 | PERSONAL GROWTH

May 2018