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How to make your own Cards Against Humanity 1. Download this PDF and take it to your local print shop. 2. Have the shop print out the game on heavy white cardstock (usually 80-pound or higher). Although the cards are black and white, you’ll get a nicer result if you can convince them to use a color printer. 3. For added fanciness, you can print black on the back of the question cards to make them easier to tell apart. 4. Cut the cards to size using a large paper cutter. The more precise you are, the easier they’ll be to handle later. 5. When you’re done, we recommend purchasing a clear model 102C AMAC box (there’s a great one for sale at the Container Store) for storing your cards. Silence. The illusion of Many bats. Famine. choice in Cards Against Humanity Rules a late-stage capitalist society. Basic Rules House Rules (cont.) To start the game, each player draws ten white cards. Wheaton’s Law: Each round, the Card Czar draws two black cards, chooses the one they’d prefer to play, and puts the other at Flesh-eating Flying sex snakes. Not giving a Magnets. The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar the bottom of the black card pile. and draws a black card. If Hugh Jackman is playing, he goes first, bacteria. shit about the regardless of how recently he pooped. Rebooting the Universe: At any time, players may trade in a point to return as many white cards as they’d like to the deck and draw Third World. The Card Czar reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the back to ten. black card out loud. Everyone else answers the question or fills in the blank by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar. Packing Heat: For Pick 2s, all players draw an extra card before playing the hand to open up more options. The Card Czar then shuffles all the answers and reads each card combination out loud to the group. The Card Czar should re-read Meritocracy: Instead of passing clockwise, the role of Card Czar the black card before presenting each answer. Finally, the Card passes to the winner of the previous round. Czar picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets Smooth Operator: If a player slips a card from their hand into one point. conversation without anyone noticing, they may trade it for one After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar and everyone point. If the player is called out, they lose a point. If this rule is Shapeshifters. Seeing what A crucifixion. Jennifer confusing, you’re taking this game too seriously. draws back up to ten white cards. happens when Lawrence. Tie Breaker: If the Card Czar can’t decide between two white cards, they may declare a Tie Breaker. In the event of a Tie Breaker, you lock people the more conventionally attractive player wins. in a room with Chubby Bunny: Players crumple up their winning cards and keep Some black cards say “PICK 2” on the bottom. To answer these, them in their mouths as points. hungry seagulls. each player plays two white cards in combination. IMPORTANT: Arrange them in the order that the Card Czar should read them— Freaky Friday: Players play Cards Against Humanity while wearing play the first card face down, and then play the second card face their mothers’ underpants. down on top of it. Hard Mode: Play Cards Against Humanity while raising four kids, dealing with chronic back pain, and waiting tables at Chili’s. Bonus! For an added challenge, try being gay or black. 72 virgins. A live studio A time travel Authentic Gambling Russian Roulette: The Card Czar takes out a revolver. They place one bullet at random in the cylinder, spin it, and close it. They then audience. paradox. Mexican cuisine. If you have more than one white card that you think could win a hold the gun to their head and pull the trigger. If the Card Czar round, you can bet one of your points to play an extra white card. survives, they defiantly place the gun in the center of the table If you win, you keep the point. If you lose, whoever wins gets the and eye the other players, challenging them to pick up the gun “if point you wagered. they’re man enough.” The Card Czar wins a point. Hail to the Chief: A player may earn a point at any time by announcing candidacy for and successfully being elected President House Rules of the United States of America. Cards Against Humanity is meant to be remixed. Here are some of Race to the Moon: All players begin masturbating immediately. our favorite ways to pimp out the rules: Then what happens? Rando Cardrissian: Every round, pick one random white card from Smoke Opium and Play Cards Against Humanity: Great idea! Doing crimes. Synergistic Crippling debt. Daddy issues. the pile and place it into play. This card belongs to an imaginary Wait for Godot: At the start of the game, instead of drawing a management player named Rando Cardrissian, and if he wins the game, all hand, players stare at the pile of white cards. After an indeterminate players go home in a state of everlasting shame. amount of time, players move their gaze to the pile of black cards. solutions. Happy Ending: When you’re ready to end the game, play the The game doesn’t begin. How can it begin? It has already ended. “Make a haiku” black card. This is the official ceremonial ending of In the gloom, players shift their cloudy gaze from pile to pile. Is it a good game of Cards Against Humanity. Note: Haikus don’t need a trick of the light, or do the black cards and white cards seem to to follow the 5-7-5 form. They just have to be read dramatically. converge in an indistinguishable grayness? Mote by mote, dust settles on the cards. Nobody accumulates points. Nobody wins. Never Have I Ever: At any time, players may discard cards that they don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the Don’t play Cards Against Humanity: Walk to a park. Call your group and suffer the resulting humiliation. mother. Live a little. Used panties. A fart so powerful Former President Full frontal nudity. Soft, kissy BATMAN! Agriculture. Barely making that it wakes the George W. Bush. missionary sex. $25,000 a year. giants from their thousand-year slumber. Covering myself Laying an egg. Getting naked Pretending Natural selection. Coat hanger Sex with My abusive with Parmesan and watching to care. abortions. Patrick Stewart. boyfriend who cheese and chili Nickelodeon. really isn’t so bad flakes because once you get to I am pizza. know him. Having big Seeing Grandma Boogers. The inevitable Prescription Swooping. Mansplaining. A homoerotic dreams but no naked. heat death of pain killers. volleyball realistic way to the universe. montage. achieve them. The miracle The Rapture. Whipping it out. White privilege. Alexandria Putting things Fragile All-you-can-eat of childbirth. Ocasio-Cortez. where they go. masculinity. shrimp for $8.99. Emerging from The Hamburglar. AXE Body Spray. The Blood An old guy who’s Kanye West. Hot cheese. Raptor attacks. the sea and of Christ. almost dead. rampaging through Tokyo. Seven dead Smegma. Alcoholism. A middle-aged The past. My genitals. An endless stream Science. and three in man on roller of diarrhea. critical condition. skates. Looking in the Bingeing and An oversized Self-loathing. Not reciprocating Flightless birds. A good sniff. 50,000 volts mirror, applying purging. lollipop. oral sex. straight to lipstick, and the nipples. whispering “tonight, you will have sex with Tom Cruise.” Sitting on my face Half-assed The Holy Bible. German A balanced Dead birds The arrival of Permanent and telling me foreplay. dungeon porn. breakfast. everywhere. the pizza. Orgasm-Face I’m garbage. Disorder. Being on fire. Teenage Gandhi. Your weird The cool, Chemical Oprah. Wondering if it’s pregnancy. brother. refreshing taste weapons. possible to get of Pepsi.® some of that salsa to go. A Fleshlight.® A pyramid of An erection that A three-way Bananas. Passive Hillary Clinton’s Switching severed heads. lasts longer than with my wife and aggressive emails. to Geico.® four hours. Shaquille O’Neal. Post-it notes. Peeing a little bit. Wet dreams. The Jews. My cheating Poverty. Kamikaze pilots. Committing The homosexual son-of-a-bitch suicide. agenda. husband. Powerful thighs. These hoes. The only gay Having sex for A Mexican. A falcon with a Wizard music. The Kool-Aid Man. person in a the first time. cap on its head. hundred miles. Donald J. Trump. Kissing grandma Sexual tension. An AR-15 Juuling. Free samples. Hurting those Doing the on the forehead assault rifle. closest to me. right thing. and turning off her life support. My good bra. Punching a Fancy Feast.® Being rich. The Three-Fifths Lactation. World peace. Shutting up congressman Compromise. so I can watch in the face. the game. Sweet, sweet Republicans. Sniffing and A much younger Eating a hard RoboCop. One titty Justin Bieber. vengeance. kissing my feet. woman. boiled egg out hanging out. of my husband’s asshole. Oompa-Loompas. Inappropriate Puberty. Ghosts. Expecting a burp Adderall.® The Red Hot Sideboob. yodeling. and vomiting on Chili Peppers. the floor. 50 mg of Zoloft Fucking my sister. Braiding three Vigorous An octopus giving My neck, J.D.

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