Contents
The standard content of a final editorial is to slate all those Union hacks who have given you a hard time ail year and the standard opening paragraph is to say that it is the standard content of a final editorial to slate all the 3 THE POLITICS OF SUPER: Recently ACTU heir-apparent Union hacks that have given you a hard time all year and that you feel Simon Crean spoke of a national superannuation scheme at the there is no compulsion to deviate from that tradition. TJ Ryan Memorial Lecture and, a few days later, Joh rushed With that said, ! wijj deviate because, wJiilc I haven't exactly seen eye to eye w'lth legislation through making it illegal in Queenslartd. KEVIN all the exec members, they have done a reasonably competent job and I have more im VELLNAGEL is hopefully less confused than we are. portant topics to talk about than them. 4 THE 1984 STUDENT ELECTION AWARDS: Semper hacks Primarily I want to explain the style of editing we have followed and answer some HENZELL and DUNSTALL decided that the work done for the of the criticisms that have been leveled against us by the people who seem to think good of this Union by budding politicians hasn't been fully they know all about Semper. First and foremost is that if I were opposing someone for the position of Semper acknowledged, so here are our special awards. Editor who had brought out identical Sempers lo those Ihal Harry and 1 have this 5 NEW ERA FOR STUDENT POLITICS: Rather than just provide year, I would say that the standard could be vastly improved. This is due to two the results and the endless preferences, JOHN HENZELL gives misconceptions that most candidates have about Semper. First, most seem lo consider this very personal account of what went on behind the scenes. that Semper is exactly as I want it to be and that the various editorial balances are as I desire when what actually happens is that the balance is between what I actually want 6 BRISBANE BIKEWAYS INADEQUATE: The BGC builds a and the usual disasters that confront this office like articles that don't arrive, 3000 bikeway. SHANE ROWLAND reports, word assignments that are due at the same time as Semper and snap decisions that 7 EATING YOUR WAY THROUGH EXAMS: Dietician HOLLY need to be made at 4.0O a.m. There are a number of obvious improvements that still FRAIL finds the best ways to maximise your study ability heed to be made but I consider that 1 made almost as many as could be given the circum through food. stances. Second, other candidates' policies for Semper are usually those that, while they 9 THE DOUNREAY CONNECTION: The fascinating tour of the honestly believe they can achieve, are quite often unfeasible and don't allow for the World Bike Ride continues; part two of their report. style of Semper production with all the disasters mentioned above. They don't seem to 10 JOURNEY INTO THE SciFiCon ZONE: A subculture you may realise that what they say may not be possible. never have known existed is alive and well in Brisbane. JOHN Additionally, they invariably (as I admit I did) harbour strict journalistic ethics about how the paper should be run. When they get in, they implement these policies HENZELL reports on the sci-fi buffs. (of no plagiarism etc) and, when they discover that no one is reading Semper because it 11 MR SULU TREKS INTO BRISBANE: Stardate 30-10-84. The is so boring, they then discover that the bottom line to student journalism isn't ethics, twenty minute mission: to interview George Takai while jogging. it's whether or not anyone reads the paper. Armed with this healthy cynicism, they JOHN HENZELL wheezes. then finally struggle into the second semester before they are producing really com petent Sempers when they otherwise could have achieved that goal by the second or 14 SCHONELL'S SUCCESS STORY: Well whacko the chook! As third edition of first semester. reported by Tim Low. Part of these ethics which they continually complain to us about breaking is the 15 THE YEAR OF BIG BROTHER: An ex-Semper writer, current way we steal articles from other student newpapers. If the choice on New South Wales ly in Canberra, gives his views on what happens down there that news story is between stealing an excellent article from the UNSW paper or spending half of Semper's budget on STD calls to get a second rate article by a local writer, no one ever hears about. we'll choose the UNSW article every time. No matter how important an issue is, if 17 KEEPING AN EYE ON THE SPIES: Peace Researcher MARK no one reads about it because we used a second rate home-grown article, there is no D. HAYES responds to last issue's article on the Toowoomba point in printing it. communications base. Additionally, the articles that we don't use from Queensland Uni writers are usually god-awful whereas the articles we steal are the cream of Australian student journalism. 18 ADAMS' ANTIDOTE FOR TENNIS WHINGERS: Sydney's While many editors seem to suffer from this "journalism student syndrome" (as I've Channel 9 sports journalist PETER ADAMS offers Semper his provisionally called it until my PhD is completed) of ethics above readability, I think views on what should be done about the tennis spoilsports. we have made the correct decision in terms of students. Hopefully the Editors-elect will realise that they are writing for students at the University of Queensland and not ^19 DON McLEAN: Still going strong after so many years, Mr some journalistic "GOD". American Pie talks to OLIVIA STEWART about life, the uni Another complaint received was that I was biased towards Harry and Julie for verse etc. Semper. It wasn't so much that I supported them as I consider that Gavin Sawford as 20 THE CURE: In 1980 when I took my first and only sickle off editor will be detrimental to Semper. First because Gavin seems to follow a reactive work on the same night the Cure was playing, my boss accused pohcy for Semper rather than aii improving one. That is, he considers that since the me of reporting in sick only so I could go to their concert. None balance of this year's Semper has been towards Ballymore style trcndyism, next year there will be no trendy articles, no skiing articles and nothing even remotely connected of this has anything to do with KIM HAMILTON'S interview. with the Ballymore crowd. 21 HUNTERS & COLLECTORS: What makes them tick? BREN This has always seemed completely ridiculous to me because it is the obvious role DAN LONG (brother of Karen) finds out. of Semper to be representative of the students who fund and read it, and a significant 22 Semper's weak attempt at a literary section, which would have proportion of the people who read it do go skiing, do dress in "trendy" clothing and been longer except Harry said we would not publish a short do go to Ballymore.,To ignore that proportion is even worse than the imbalance that story by Tony Kynaston, we might have had this year. The goat should be improvement rather than reaction. Further, some of the distinctions he makes are cleariy hypocritical. His argument 24 THE YEAR THAT WAS: Winners and Losers: Inveterate losers for why he hates the Ballymore trendies is that they are just following an arbitrarily HENZELL and DUNSTALL report on what happened this year. set pattern of dress and actions (La Coste and Ballymore) to achieve an image. Yet 26 TRAVEL SECTION: KIERAN RIDGE in Rome, LOIS PORTO B Gavin dresses as a Mod, a group which follows a different but just as arbitrary pattern of dress and actions (in this case three button suits and first edition "Who" records) to in Guatemala, TIM LOW all over Australia, JULIE WHITE achieve an image. The only difference between the two seems to be that Gavin looks getting over jetlag, FROSTY THE SNOWMAN in the northern down on the trendies while he is actually following a similar method of image copying. hemisphere, and a couple of bonus travel-book reviews. Additional complaints, as ever, come about Semper triviality. Part of our attempt 35 REVIEWS: to make Semper as readable as possible is to tailor the content to suit the way students BOOKS: UQ Press reprints, one on the Freedom of Information are feeling. Thus, at the start of semester when commitments are low and academic Bill, and the longest book review ever written for Semper to work is largely forgotten, we offer content that includes more serious articles and analy match the longest book ever written for Semper - Norman sis and as the semester goes on we reduce the rate of challenging articles (with varia tions according to emerging issues) and increase the trivial and fun parts of Semper to Mailer's 'Ancient Evenings'. 'the point where the pre-Swat Vac Semper is just downright silly, because we feel MOVIES: Buckaroo Banzai, reviewed by Jesus Marrow; Broad that at that time the long hours of study make people want to read Semper for relaxa way Danny Rose, reviewed by John Henzell; Purple Rain, review tion rather than information on analytical articles. Certainly some Serious Young ed by the Atomic Energy Commission; and A Sunday in the Students will complain about the triviality but I like to think that it maximises the Country, reviewed by old red-eyes, Mr Henzell (himself). readershio of .Semper. MUSIC: A bunch of stuff. In hindsight, the clearest of all visions, I don't ihink that I would have believed any 40 CARSTAIRS goes out with a bang. thing said here if an old Editor had explained it to me before 1 began working for Semper, just as none of the teams that contested Semper this year will believe it. I 41 THUNDERQUIZ: Who or what was Tin Tin? If you know the Just hope that Taylor, Sawford and Vellnagel break out of the journalism students answer to this, you've scored at least one point in our Thunder- syndrome before too long, birds quiz. JOHNHENZELL 42 WHAT'S ON: Only the Shadow knows - and Karen Venzke. P.S. I have long considered that no one ever reads my editorials right to the finish 44 There is no, repeat NO, page 44. Ditto for pages 45-48. Turn (especially long and dull ones like this) so to guage the number of people who do over and start again. actually get to the end, Semper will give away a double pass to the Schonell to any one who comes down lo the Semper office and mentions this offer. 45 SEMPER GRATITUDE PAGE In.this shock report, the Editors mention the huge part that the hard working, loiig suffering staff played In making Semper better than the total failure it would have been without them. After John's amazing soliloquy there is not a whole lot left for me to say. However, I do wholly support John's comment regarding the content of Semper this year - I hope we have at least partly achieved our aim of making Semper more readable and interesting to students. I too believe Semper could have been greatly improved with ideas like a Colleges News page, more regular columns, more sporting stories. However, it was unfortunate that our organisation wasn't up to our ideas. I might add that one of the greatest problems we had this year was the lack of ' SEMPER is a non-profit pfAitial and cultural magazine based at the University of Queensland. regular writers. So if you wanted to know why John and I did a lot of stories, that's EDITORS: Harry Dunstall and John Henzell TYPESETTING: Louise Larder the reason. Next year if you are interested in writing Just come down to Semper. LAYOUT: Matt Mawson PRINTERS: Warwick Dally News, Warwick Kevin, Gavin and Lenore will be more than glad to help and foster new writers. ADVERTISING: Robert Stubbs (phone 371 2568) Anyway, so long and thanks for all the fish. PUBLISHER: Tony Kynaston, President, U.Q. Students Union. HARRY DUNSTALL Contributions are welcome, but no responiibility i$ accepted for unsolicited material. lllilll^^ And It's goodnight from me...... and it's goodnight from hlm^ POLITICS The Politics of Super Qld Parliament Opposes ACTU Superannuation Scheme
One of the major points of Simon Crean's speech at the T j Ryan lecture — a national superannuation structure — v/as answered by the Queensland Government's legislation making such a scheme useless. KEVIN VELL NAGEL reports.
The Queensland Government has to support such a scheme is the fact that stuck a devastating blow to the the Australian population is aging. A.C.T.U.'s planned push for a Na "The reality is that the old age pen sion cannot adequately provide existing tional superannuation scheme. beneficiaries with an economically digni fied retirement income let along the in On Wednesday, October 25, the Na creased demands on that system in the tional Party caught the Queensland Par future without taxation increases," he liament off-guard with the Superannua said. tion Trust Funds (Protection of Emplo Also, while the Prices and Incomes yee's Entitlements) Bill. accord calls for wage restraint it states The manner in which the Bill was in that, "standards of living can be main troduced and then rammed through Par tained and improved over time in forms liament, although not a new phenomenon, other than as money wage increases". suggests the National Party may have been more than a little nervous about One such 'other form' is superannu proper debate. ation. The Editorial of the Courier Mail sla Mr Crean acknowledged that a natio ted the way it was introduced. Not one of nal scheme would be difficult to intro the Bill's 31 clauses were debated: "This duce as a sizeable proportion of the work effort surpasses anything the Government force is covered by some form of occu has done before. At a time when most of pational superannuation scheme. theOpposition was attheHawke luncheon, However, he argued that "these it brought on legislation which has the schemes are many and varied and con potential for industrial chaos." tain numerous anomalies and weaknesses." "This shoddy operation can only bring "In additon the tax laws until the al the Parliament of Queensland into further terations last year encouraged superannu disrepute," it said. ation on an occupational basis, but now Members of the superannuation indus the tax advantage has been substantially try arc puzzled by its introduction and reduced," he said. say it was not necessary. The national superannuation scheme Journalists had speculated that it was would provide cover to those without, an electoral stunt to stir up industrial such as, "significant sections of the blue development policies," he said. "Under the regulations the rights of unrest. However, some Government mem collar workforce, a large proportion of The question of control is where the members and dependants must be fully bers have privately acknowledged that the the female population and areas of small Queensland Government's Superannua secured and guaranteed," he said. Bill is specifically designed to oppose the business," Mr Crean said. tion Bill most likelylocauseconfrontation. He attacked the Queensland Super National superannuation scheme propo Previously, superannuation schemes were annuation Bill as being, "unnecessary and sed by the Australian Council of Trade He said the scheme would "aim at pro only subject to Commonwealth laws and detrimental to the whole industry" as Unions. viding the base for retirement incomes in the main the only restriction imposed well as being, "open to abuse." by State Governments were transactional It was only six days earlier, on Cam and at ensuring economic dignity in retire Rod Rushton, a Director of Superan taxes, such as, stamp duty. pus, at the T J Ryan.Memorial Lecture ment. It should be run separately from nuation Counsellors Pty Ltd says the Bill that Senior Vice-President of the A.C.T.U. the occupational superannuation structure The Queensland Superannuation Bill docs have its good points, such as keeping Simon Crean, again stated that a national which would be complimentary to and not only has the power to disallow super money in Queensland. superannuation scheme was high on the not competitive with thcnationalscheme." annuation schemes whose trustees live Both Mr Brandis and Mr Rushton ad- agenda for the coming year. "It is envisaged that the administration outside the State, but it also contains milled that no one in the industry had strict regulations that give the Government The form of this scheme could be and investment policy of the fund would been consulted regarding the Bill. power to control schemes in any industry. likened to Medicare. A Universal super be under the control of the tripartite Mr Rushton said it was typical of the annuation cover would be available to all body, the criteria for investment should The justice Minister, Mr Harper, quoted Queeensland Government. retiring Australians and the scheme would be, subject to maximising the rate of re in the Courier Mail, said, "It is not the in "They shoot from the hip and sort be funded by a set tax levy. turn, to generate socially useful invest tention of this Government, being a out the blunders later," he said. Government dedicated to free enterprise The main argument that Mr Crean uses ment and be complimentary to industry Simon Crean's T J Ryan lecture to establish a great new bureaucratic struc claimed one of the major drawbacks of ture. present superannuation schemes is the "Rather it is intended to introduce a lack of vesting, or mobility, that they legislative mechanism which will enable offered. That is, benefits are not readily the Government to supervise and only in transferable from one job to another. tervene in those circumstances where it is He said, "movement out of jobs or CAMPUS ATTACKS considered appropriate. mobility between jobs is not going to "Once a particular occupation or busi diminish in the future particularly in the With all the late nights spent study report anyone acting suspiciously to ness undertaking is declared under the context of us needing to encourage labor ing in libraries during the end of Security immediately. Mr Tony Franks, Bill, then all trust deeds or variations mobility to assist transition through in semester, this is one of the most the Safety and Security officer, said that thereto, relating to superannuation sche dustry restructuring." this maximised the abilities to stop furth mes for that occupation or business, will hazardoas times for sexual assaults "Without portability people are not er actions of this nature. require the approval of the Registrar." on the University grounds. going to be encouraged to move from in Due to the recent attacks, it is recom According to Section 30, a Cabinet dustries which have established occupa Three sex-related attacks, including mended that women who study in the decision is all that is needed to declare an tional superannuation schemes," he said. one rape, occured at Queensland Uni libraries at night either walk in groups occupational scheme subject to these re Despite Mr Crean's disparagement of recently. The offences occured within or, at the very least, along well-lit and quirements. existing schemes, both Mr Rushton and half an hour of each other on October 8 well-used paths. Alternatively, Security Section 30 also says that the Order in Mr Brandis rejected the notion that pre between the Hartley Teakle car park and offers an escort service 24 hours a day Council shall be laid before Parliament sent schemes did not offer portability. Mayne Hall. which can be obtained by calling the within 14 sitting days after its publication However, they did admit that few peo These were believed to be just one Security Office (377 3333) or by going in the Government Gazette. ple understood how these provisions wor set of incidences; others haven't been to their office on the 2nd floor of the This provision means that the parti ked. reported and it is believed that there jD Storey Building (after hours, use the cular Order in Council has a chance to be were two other rapes within a week of For all of the 'Baby-Boom' generation bell at cither of the two main entrances). debated in Parliament should a disallow it seems that old age is not a wise thing to these attacks. The escort service depends on the ance motion be moved by the Opposi get involved with. Pensions are shrinking The bottom line of all this is that availability of staff at the Security office. tion. and regulations are multiplying, while the attackers seem to realise that women Other than the three related reported The justice Minister Mr Harper claimed the fine point on contracts is unintelli are at their most vulnerable at this time attacks, it is believed that the other att that there was a lack of regulation covering gible. Maybe we should start another of semester because they often walk acks aren't the work of one person and superannuation schemes and this had led 'Baby-Boom' and pass the problem on alone to their cars late at night. follow no obvious pattern. to abuse. to the next generation. One way to combat this threat is to EDITORS Peter Brandis, who works for the Asso ciation of Superannuation Funds, disputes •.•.•.•••.•.V.V, this. He says that, "the Commonwealth
f'.-y.i'yA-'jVjVj regulations are more than adequate." UNION The 1984 Student Election Awards
In ifevery election, there are winners and lo^s *'" ^- ^ "^' -^^ ;itudettt electlotts who fit iritp this cjttegfliiry: 'deep dowii Ih their hearts, we alf know-that ...... v^w you billy received the vote of yourself aria^btfjrlN«t|rj#3^^ In the democratic system is better than no^^g;ft^iTO)^^^ democratic candle than to curse a totalltiiian^ioacrlan^ need to clutch at electoral straws to galnth^t iB>(;l"^^|li|m6ctt^^
ffjflyefielectfbns are enough" HENZELL- prpua|g|fr| iti'tiiis'tjj; ^^ti[(ient THEBRIDESHEADREVISITED AWARD THE "WOULD YOU BELIEVE 72 PER FOR CHAPISHNESS: CENT OF THE VOTE" AWARD: To Barry Atkins and Brad Bauman To Barry Atkins for proving that for having champagne breakfasts on even without policies, you can still the traffic island on Sir Fred Scho win. nell Drive during the voting week. THE "MISSED IT BY THAT MUCH" THE WINNERS ARE GRINNERS AND AWARD: THE LOSERS CAN GET (Harry never To Dunstall and White for hones explained this word to me) AWARD: tly believing throughout theelection To Steve Stockwcll and Julia campaign that they had enough Reid for genuine looks of amaze friendstoget elected. ment when their posters were torn THE "I ASKED YOU NOT TO TELL ME down after they had stuck theirs THAT" AWARD: over everyone elses. To the Student Initiatives team THE UNITED NATIONS AWARD FOR (otherwise known as the NCC) who INEFFECTIVE ACTION: only managed to get one candidate To Ken McPherson for his com elected as National Student Delegate ment "I found my powerlessness to despite a rumoured multi-million act when candidates breached elec dollar campaign. toral regulations quite frustrating." THE ALP "Clutching defeat from the jaws THE KAMAHL "Why are people so un of Victory" AWARD: kind" AWARD: To Dan Crowley, who had the To John Henzell for being accused presidency handed to him on a me of being personally responsible for taphorical platter, and then procee the National Debt, the Argentine ded to blow it in chronic fashion. invasion of the Falklands and the THE PIERRE CARDIN AWARD FOR shooting down of the Korean Air BEST DRESSED CANDIDATE: liner, during the campaign. To Brad Bauman, for never turn THE J HAVEN'T SOLD OUT AWARD ing up in anything short of a La FOR CAMPAIGNING ABOVE AND Coste shirt, Corfu jeans and deck BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY: (Un shoes. til recently known as the Playboy Pinup Awa rd) THE FLANNELETTE "Norm Gallagher" To H^HH^III for above ave AWARD: rage dress changes to skirts and lack To Julia Reid, for consistently of bras for election campaign. wearing clothes from the Paris fas hion house of St Vincent De Paul. had to wash down one entire section caricature of himself in the middle THE MUNGO MACULLUM AWARD (Well at least It's correct line.) FOR INSIGHTFUL PREDICTIONS: of the Great Court and who later of a flock of sheep for his election To John Henzell for telling Dan THE BARNUM & BAILEY BEST GIM found out that they didn't have to poster. Crowley "I think you'll just scrape MICKS AWARD: because the white chalking they THE WHO ARE YOU ANYWAY AWARD: in ahead" on the Friday of the elec To Barry Atkins, who used to go were doing was entirely legal. To Jillian Farmer and Kate Green tion week. into lectures and say that his dog THE BOB HAWKE EXPEDIENT POLI wood for getting elected to promi Mulga had been distressed at his TICS AWARD: THE PETER BLUCHER "Kiss of Daath" nent executive positions without loss at President in 1981, that It To Bevan Lisle who is rumoured AWARD: even having to worry about campaig had developed psychotic complexes to be looking keenly at the Presi To Paul O'Shea for predicting ning. after his defeat for Treasurer last dent's seat for 1987, and who was that Dunstall and White would be QUOTE OF THE ELECTION: year, and that you shouldn't let this seen by most people to be doing it elected as 1985 Semper editors. To Barry Atkins: "HiThere" (re dog down again and hence you for the Curriculum Vitae. THE BOB BROWN "Save our tress" should vote for Barry. peated 1 million times). THE MOUNT VESUVIAS AWARD FOR AWARD: OTHER QUOTES: THE ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEST BLOWING HIS STACK: To Kevin Alford for not printing "A vote for Semper Is a vote for ACTRESS: To David Barbagallo forexploding one single leaflet or poster, and for democracy" - Harry Dunstall. To Julia Reid, who feigned inno during Union Council following the self-sacrificingly not writing a policy "I heard them both speak and cence about alledgedly illegal printed election and subsequently being re statement so as to minimise the matter concerning elections when moved from the chamber. Brad looked really nice but Dan amount of paper used in the elec-. quizzed by the electoral officer. looked sleazy" - unknown first tion Semper. FOR TIM AND DEBBIE AWARD FOR year woman. THE MIKE WALSH "nice guys finish BRAINSPACE: "1 don't even know what silver THE ANDREW PEACOCK "popular last" AWARD: To Tony Kynaston for labelling spoon trendyism is" - Gavin Saw leader of a party" AWARD: To Harry Dunstall who conduc To Tony Kynaston, for almost all those for removing David Barba ford after admitting that he had ted a totally clean campaign (I gallo from the chamber as "fascists". being beaten by the aforementioned swear I'm going to edit this out won a scholarship to Brisbane Gram THE THAT'S INCREDIBLE AWARD: K. Alford. Harry) and slated no one. mar School. To Kanowski and La Caze who THE MAXWELL SMART "Sorry about "The Phantom votes Hi There - that Chief" AWARD: THE JOHN KERR POLITICAL INNO thought that theelection wasactually Put a 1 for more fun" - Barry To Maxine Beahan for deciding CENCE AWARD: one week earlier than it,really was. Atkins, that an election campaign based on To the Skinny Young Students THE FRANK MERINO AWARD FOR Get Smart was better than a cam team, who were told by the Build INVENTIVE USES FOR GUMBOOTS: paign based on policies. ings and Grounds fascists that they To John Cherry who featured a •X'>:-.v«.>N»K':':»:':' •:•>••.•.».•.• 4 UNION • m New Era for Student Politics The 1985 Student Union Team The Union Elections resulted in a Liberal President on an almost comple tely ALP executive, Barry Atkins elected with the biggest majority ever seen in a Union election and the tossing out of the encumbent Semper Editor. JOHN HENZELL provides this highly authorised report. In the second Semper of this semes and didn't even write a policy statement. ter, I am reported as saying that Using the team name of EWAK (Engineers this would be one of the most bor Without A Kause) he could hardly have ing elections that the Union would been seen as a serious candidate. face, with the steamrolling US/SIT/ Yet in this position the vote was re SWAT/TEAS/SWET team taking the markably close with a primary count of honours. around 1300 to 1000, when what is gene rally expected of an ex-President in a I am able to say now that I was uncate- poorly contested position like this is a goricaily wrong; it would be hard to ima Atkins type steamrolling majority. gine an election as interesting in the Anyway, the result of the two factors Union's recent history with the possible of positive personal appearance and the exception of the McPherson/Atklns bat anti-Union vote saw Brad Bauman get up tle for President in 1981. as President, the only Liberal (with the But enough of the history lesson; let's possible exception of Barry Atkins) to be analyse (that's a good political commen on the executive. tary word) the result and give the behind Will this cause chaos on the 1985 the scenes report, Council when the President makes on-the- spot decisions only to have them overlur- PRESIDENT ned by a hostile Council? Brad Bauman The Courier Mail called it a swing to claims to be able to muster the numbers the conservatives by students, Brad Bau if needed. man called it a vote for conservatives, Dan Crowley called it an anti-Union vote ACTIVITIES VICE PRESIDENT and Sean O'Farrelj of the Telephone If there is anything that can be said Party said it was all a wrong number. about Barry Atkins, it is that he is able Whatever, the final result proved two to campaign. With his HI THERE slogan "thank you linesman, thank you ball has become almost mandatory. Anyway things beyond doubt; that personal appea and performing dog, he redefined the boys". the end result was that Taylor, Sawford word "carnage" when it came to Union rance is crucial in as uninformed an elec SEMPER and Velnagel were able to legally outspend elections. tion as the Union elections, and that there Once again the key to Semper lay in the other teams by a considerable margin. was a substantial vote against the current i-lis opponent, the quietly spoken and capturing the uninformed vote. Especially None of this was known by the stu administration. uninspiring IVlaxine Beahan, was never in with a large turnout like this one (where dents who voted for the various candidates That sounds all really deep, but the the race against the well planned campaign the informed votes remain generally low), on the basis of what they saw, rather than gist of it is this. The SWET team ran a US and speaking ability of Barry. Certainly, the position would have gone to whoever what the morality or not of the campaign Presidential style campaign based on Dan he knew how to tap the student nerve captured that vote. funding. Even with this, the electoral of Crowley. Dan, for all his good points, is (there's a metaphor for any dentists read Certainly when I have been elected as ficer Ken McPherson was led to say in his just frankly uncharismatic. In fact, with ing) and at UQ that tends to be humour. Semper Editor, it has often been because report to Council: out mincing words, he leaves most casual Show the voters you're a Fun Guy and an uninformed student saw the Semper observers with a particularly poor first the votes come in. ballot paper, only recognised my name on "t doubt I have ever seen as many brexhes of impression. Sleazy is a word that one first First of all was the champagne break it and hence voted for me almost by de regulations as occurred this year in the Semper year used to decribe him. Brad, on the fasts on the Sir Fred Schonell Drive fault. election. There were:- posters produced out other hand, is clean cut looking (as appeals roundabout but more important was the side, about which candidates simply lied and The way to capture the uninformed said wore produced here; there were leaflets to the conservative UQ voters) and speaks performance in lectures of his dog Mulga vote is to flood the Uni with attention welt, making a favourable first impression. produced outside which I told people on nine who would wait outside, then run in capturing election posters with one's separate occasions, including one of the candi Thus, combined with the anti-Union and jump up on the chair. Then Barry ex name in LARGE letters. There are no dates four times, were not to be distribvted vote (which I'll get to soon) the SWET plained that Mulga had been distressed at prizes for sublety here. continually: there were frequent allegations his loss to Ken McPherson for President including from non-interested parties of one of team was beaten on almost all fronts by Secondly, the vote is also influenced the teams sneaking into Activities late at night in 1981, and that he had developed a psy Bauman, and the eventual primary vote by the complacency of the encumbents. to run off extra posters; there were stickers chotic problem at his defeat to Karen Ax- was 1262 to Brad to Dan's 805. Fraser and Nicol tossed out an encumbent produced for which no receipts were produced ford by two votes for Treasurer in 1983 as is required; expensive banners were produced But, just as the political commenters Editor in 1981 because Editor Shelley and that the voters could not let this dog and no costs attributed for these; and a myriad say, it wasn't as simple as that because Dempsey considered that she was well of other minor transgressions. dowii again, and should hence vote for the issue of why people voted that way is enough known to get in with a mini Barry. "By the middle of the election week some clouded by ideology, personal appearance mum of campaigning. In 1983, I beat of the teams had so flagrantly ignored the and basic voter ignorance. It just isn't Then there was a Government student the encumbent Damien Ledwich because flegulations that when one of the less difficult possible to attribute the result to an anti- dressed in a Phantom outfit who walked teams approached me with yet another com his team were fairly complacent about plaint I was reduced to virtually advising them Dan vote, pro-conservative vote or even around the University calling "Hi There. their victory and in this election, Taylor, to ignore the regulations. a Donkey vote. Man Who Cannot Die Votes For Barry Sawfard and Vellnagel tossed out Harry "I found my powerlessness to act when That's where the Treasurer election Atkins". Dunstall because of his and Julie White's candidates breached Electoral flegulations quite frustrating. As I said the only sanction available makes the anti-Union vote apparent. The result was the biggest majority complacency. to me against candidates who breach the Tony Kynaston, current President, was ever in a Union election, with Barry secur One of the reasons for this compla flegulations is the extremely harsh one of ru nn i ng against a cand idate who was bare 1 y ing 73 percent of the primary vote. As he recommending that they be disqualified if they cency is financial since the amount of are elected." known, put no posters up, didn't speak to said when he knew he had captured the money candidates are allowed to spend any lectures, didn't leaflet the refectory majority of the St Johns College vote: on their campaigns is restricted to 30 per Then there were the styles of campaigns cent of the General Union fee. In the past, •^«^*..^*.*-^^^^VA'.£S£^*.*,V,*^.^^<^<^^^^»*r**;* ' '•---*• r r-rrfri* f ' ' ' ' »••••••.•••»• rji For years cyclists along Coronation Drive have risked close encounters with Council buses and other roadusers in order to get to University but now, as SHANE ROWLANDS reports, a bikeway next to Coronation Drive is about to be opened, planned to reach from the University to the city. V/ill it eventually make it? Remember, this is an election year... The Brisbane City Council has just judging by how long it has taken to get completed the construction of a this far. bikeway along Coronation Drive Il was seven years ago, in early 1977 which will eventually extend from that the Council started a programme to build bikcways, with an allocation of the University of Queensland to the $100,000 each year for a five year period. Botanic Gardens. In determining priorities, the Council found that sludentgroupshad the greatest But before ail the cycling enthusiasts, need and tendency to cycle. It decided a fitness fanatics and vehicle-less students Pilot Study would be an efficient way lo get loo excited thinking thai ihcy no observe the potentials and problems of longer have to risk their necks amidst traf bikeways designed for Brisbancconditions, fic, calm down and keep your helmet and consequently set up a study in the handy because there arc still a few pro northern, bayside suburbs of Sandgatc, blems. Deagon, Bracken Ridge and Brighton. So far the bikeway only extends from Following these studies, the Lord Cribb Street (near the Arnotl's Biscuit Mayor launched the Bikeway Plan for Factory) to the Regaua Hotel. Unfor Brisbane in September of last year. tunately, this is not of much use to stu The plan identified potential generators dents as only a small percentage of them of cycle traffic such asschools, universities, The bikeway runs along the river bank ing over to the other side of Coronation live along this stretch of road and hardly railway stations and public swimming and is protected from Coronation Drive Drive at the end. anyone frequents the Regatta. The major pools, and proposed 24 bikeway networks by an embankment. The route is very However, nearly all of the cyclists felt ity, therefore, will still have to ride on to give cyclists safe and extensive travel pleasant, but il is not yet sign-posted so that riding on the bikeway was much the roads. opportunities. not everyone is aware of its existence. safer and healthier because there was no The Council is not sure when the bike There arc three types of bikeway: The University Cycling Club's Presi traffic and no pollution. way will be completed as there is some The bicycle is a simple, pollution-free * a bike path is a paved strip, completely dent, Mrs Elizabeth Battle, said that the uncertainty over the funding. form of transport which most people can separated from motor traffic; bikeway would probably be used most by The Council's Works Information Offi people who enjoyed a Sunday afternoon afford to buy. However, these advantages * a bike route is a specially sign-posled cer, Mr Mark Neylan, said that the bike ride. are blighted because of the conflict be street, shared by bicycles with other way had more than $970,000 funding for tween cyclists and other road users. forms of transport. this financial year. However, ihc project The bikeway certainly docs seem to be So far eleven cyclists have died on * a bike lane is a section of the roadway, was being funded in conjunction with the popular on Sunday afternoons, but the Queensland roads this year; cycling on separated by a painted stripe or a con Federal Government's Community Em cyclists arc outnumbered by joggers and the road is hazardous. ployment Scheme. crete curb, primarily for the use of bi- pedestrians. The Queensland Road Safety Council cylcs. Although the bikeway will be opened A number of cyclists complained that urges cyclists to wear helmets, The 1982 progressively, it may still be some lime Conslruciion of the Coronation Drive there were too many pedestrians who im figures for cycling fatalities show that before the entire bikeway is completed bikeway began in April this year. peded their progress. two-thirds of the victims were not wearing Some also complained that there were helmets. not enough ramps to get on to the bike The risks of cycling will not be reduced way. Others wished that the Council until adequate bikeway provisions arc would hurry up and finish the bikeway as made. Angry and impatient motorists il was both difficult and dangerous cross will continue to curse harrassed cyclists. The record number of library points the new record set by the book "The lost at a University of Queensland American City" which, if it had kept hav Library was smashed last Friday ing points added against it instead of just when a student" .'•eturned a short having the borrower pay the replacement cost, would have accumulated a record loan book that was due back on 72,760 points (counting leap years) based President Brad Bauman Science Full Time Reps . . MarkWilllanis March 24,1976. on losing 20 points per day. Secretary Kate Greenwood Peter Gillogley "I guess, 1 just sort of forgot," the un "This has certainly set a new undergra Treasurer Tony Kynaston Madonna Boman named student explained about the un duate library record," the Library source Activites Vice President . .. Barry Atkins Dentistry Rep David Young usual time the book was overdue, "The claimed, "It will take at least SVJ years to Semper Editors .... Taylor, Sawford & Education Full Time Rep assignment I was using it for took a little beat this and even if someone does take Vellnagel Michael Murphy longer than I thought." the challenge up, we feel that this will General Vice President.... John Cherry Law Rep Jenny l=ox According to a Library source who de still get a Gold medal in the 1988 Librarian Women's Rights Vice President Med Rep Craig Hendrie clined to be named, the previous record Olympics." Karen Axford John O'Sullivan holder was probably veteran politician It was calculated that if the borrower St Lucia Part Time Vice President ..... Teresa Walker Barry Atkins who held a 3,000 point pe was still a student and retrieved the lost Ric Moore Music Rep Mark Skillington nalty at one stage and overall was estima points at a rate of 200 for every two week College Vice President .... John Peden Science Part Time Rep ted to have l^st lO.OOO library points. period, they wouldn't be able to borrow Turbot St Vice President . . . John Blake Anthony Harrison another book from the Undergrad Library Education Vice President . Jillian Farmer But even he couldn't hold candle to Therapy Rep Janet Stone for 12 years, 5 months and 16 days (coun National Student Affairs Officer Commerce and Economics Full Time Rep ting leap years) or until May 21,1997. Mike Kaiser Robert Wright It is understood that the Library plans Hospital Area Vice President Luton White to have the book framed. John Hansen External Reps Peter Cokim MR ATOZ Postgraduate Vice President Dorothy Watts Brenda Biggs Lynda Slattery External Vice President Kaye Stegman SPANISH IN PERU AUSTRALIAN STUDENT Angela Collyer Kerry Rea Arts Full Time Reps . ., Simon Jackman Become familiar with the Spanish language CHRISTIAN MOVEMENT Ag Rep Phillip Noble Bevan Lisle and culture of Peru while living in Miraflores, CONFERENCE Architecture Rep Mark Cutler Lima, with a 3 weclu couisc and 20 niglits Graeme Orr Did you know that the Latin root of Social Work Rep Sara Hewett accommodation in 3 star Inns in Ihc centre Maxine Beahan ofMiranorcs. 'education' means 't lead you autT* Vet Science Rep Greg Richards The 1984-85 ASCM national conference Arts Part Time Reps Robin Hayes Commerce and Economics Part Time Rep * 4S hours tuition, 3 hours/Jay using a will focut on education. How do we learn? modem audio-visual system Geoff Airo-FaruNa David Barbagallo How does education - learning of all kinds Sharon Caddie * 15 class related 2 hour tours of Lima's - shape us and our society? How does it Engineering Rep Rodney Stubbs archaeological, historical and cultural help divide us into rich & poor, white & Nina Seto Austen Canwardine sights black, man Si women ...? How do churches Chris Green Overseas Student Rep Henry Low *2 all day otitings to visit Inca ruins & the ASCM teach us to sea God & God's Scott Farrow * Courses start first Monday of every people? What does all this mean for the College Rep Scott Cowley month and end with a farewell party kingdom of God? Postgrad Reps .... Catherine Cuthbert the 3rd Friday of the same month. December 30 to January 6 Rowna Keegan *Cosi $750 US in double rooms, $850 NEWCASTLE N.S.W. LOST Jim Alvey US in single accommodation. For details, contact Lorna - 393 1775 Management Committee .. Barry Atkins For further information phone (after 7 p.m.) At the Physiotherapy Ball, one John Cherry (07) 369-7734 Dinner Jacket (black) of great Mike Kaiser sentimental value Graeme Orr REWARD-$30 Ric Moore Phone 263 6317 Mark Williami Louise Akenson 1 Robert Wright NUTRITION Eating your way through exams A Question of Balance It's the time of year for late nights 2. Fruit and Vegetables — Provide Fibre, and early mornings, coffee, cigaret Carbohydrate, Vitamins (A, C, Folic tes and perhaps a few missed Acid) and some Minerals. Fresh is pre meals or reliance on quick conveni ferred. At least four servings per day. ence foods. But is this the best way 3. Meat and Meat Substitutes - (includes to cope with exam-time stress? Poor meat, poultry, fish, seafoods, eggs, eating habits during this time can dried beans, lentils, vegetarian alterna tives) - Provides Protein, Energy, Iron, not help but negatively affect your Niacin. Lean choices are preferred. ability to concentrate, absorb facts One serving per day = 75-1 OOg Meat or and perform to the best of your abi % cup cooked Beans. lity when faced with the questions. 4. Milk and Milk Products - Provides Pro tein, Carbohydrate, Energy, Calcium, We eat because we enjoy food or be Riboflavin. Lowfat choices are prefer cause we feel hunger - not just to obtain red. 300ml. for Adults (or 40 g cheese), nutrients. But because the protein, fat, 600ml. for Children, Expectant and carbohydrate, vitamins, minerals and fi Nursing Mothers. bre in foods enhance health and there fore help you function to your maximum 5. Fats - Provides Energy, Fat soluble vi potential and cope during times of stress, tamins such as A. One tablespoon per you should give some thought to what day. you eat and drink. Most Australians require more than the above to satisfy their Energy require It's all a matter of balance. But what ments. It is recommended that extra ser is a Balanced diet? Basically it is the choice vings are chosen from the Bread and Ce of a variety of foods from the five Food real, Fruit and Vegetable groups to pro Groups each day - with the amounts de vide extra Energy plus vitamins and mine pending on your age, sex, body size, ac rals. Only moderate amounts of the foods lead to low Energy levels, inability to tivity levels and individual metabolic rate. term result usually being a sharp drop in not specified - for example cake, biscuits, concentrate, tiredness, headaches, irritabi If these guidelines are followed, all essen blood sugar levels, tiredness and perhaps chocolate, sweets, soft drink, alcohol, lity, or b) Eating and drinking particularly tial nutrients will be provided and the Re headaches in some individuals. Take away foods - should be included, high sugar/fat items, is used as an alterna commended Daily Allowances for all vita Dietitians are concerned at the increa especially if you are watching your weight. tive to studying. In this case an excess mins and minerals met. The five Food sing misuse of vitamin and mineral supple These are high in sugar and fat and lack amount of calories may be taken in which Groups are:- ments by Australians who have access to significant amounts of vitamins and mi along with the often decreased activity a nutritious varied food supply. Supple 1. Bread and Cereals - Provide Carbohy nerals - being known as "empty calorie" levels during exam times may lead to an ments don't compensate for inadequate drate for Energy, Protein, Fibre, Vita foods. increase in weight as well as inadequate nutrient intake resulting from poor eating mins - particularly Thiamine. Whole- Common occurrences during exam amounts of the required nutrients. High habits or unhealthy lifestyle practices. grain choices are preferred. Four ser times seem to be either a) Food is low on sugar snacks only provide Energy for a The only safe reliable source of nutrients vings per day. the priority list and missing of meals may very short period of time, the longer is nutritious food. Megadoses of single vi tamins may be toxic, especially fat-soluble vitamins. There is little reliable scientific evidence that "more is better" except In specified medical cases. Many health food shops and pharmacies make claims about supplements and their The Perils of Caffeine benefits — often directed towards the pre vention or combatting of stress. For exam Have you given any thought lately ple "Slress-eze" formulas, herbal nerve to how much tea and coffee you tablets, B-Complex vitamins, tryptophan, consume? It's worth toting up. Caf zinc etc, etc. These are all available in feine toxicity can easily creep up more than adequate amounts in your on any of us and is commonly foods, but if you are concerned that your diet is notalwaysadequate, a multivitamin misdiagnosed. may be helpful. Anyhow, making some For instance, insomnia, headaches, changes to your diet is on the whole agitation and palpitations are symptoms much cheaper than taking large amounts familiar to us all, usually precipitated by of supplements. anxiety provoking events such as exams, Caffeine is of course another widely relationships upheavals or work pro used "crutch" during exam times. Its blems. So when these symptoms occur properties as a central nervous system sti in the absence of an easily identifiable mulant may help you stay awake longer cause, 'free-floating'anxiety is commonly lo study but it should be noted that diagnosed and the treatment oriented to many people who suffer from anxiety sta ward relaxation techniques and perhaps tes and the effects of stress improve re sedative drugs. Weeks or months may pass markably when they cease to drink caf before the penny drops and caffeine toxi feine beverages. Your intake of caffeine city is suspected. should definitely be limited if high blood Caffeine is an habituating drug. It oc pressure is a problem. insomnia, palpitations and upset stomach. 15-50mg/150ml curs naturally in coffee beans, tea leaves, Cocoa - The most sensible eating plan includes As with most drugs of addiction, tolerance kola nuts and cocoa beans and thus is Tea - instant - 30mg/150ml regular meals and snacks, if required, with develops and chronic users may take transformed into coffee, tea, chocolate, brewed - SOmg/lSOml regard for the five Food Groups and the 900mg a day without noticing the gradual cocoa and cola-based soft drinks. Caffeine Chocolate - lOmg/150ml nutrients they provide. The meals need changes taking place. gives a quick lift, but then is rapidly me Cola drinks - 37-75mg/370ml not be difficult to prepare, for example In my experience, people with a high tabolised. Groping around with half-shut * 150ml is an average size cup. breakfast cereals, salads, steamed vegeta caffeine intake are usually fairly sceptical eyes for the teapot or coffee jar in search bles, grills, sandwiches, fruit etc - and when presented with this as a possible The stimulating effect of caffeine is of an early morning caffeine 'hit' is a will save you money as compared to cho cause of their symptoms. Coffee and tea only temporary and decreases with con scene familiar to many of us. For people colate and Pizzas! drinking are socially encouraged forms of stant use, so consuming endless cups of addicted to caffeine, thesymptomsof with coffee while studying is not an efficient A little regular exercise- a swim, walk, drawal - headache, lethargy and general addiction. Sleep impairment and habitual mild agitation may conic to be regarded way of refreshing the brain. General levels bike ride or something more energetic - muscular pains, arc quickly dispelled by a of awareness have not been demonstrated is also important for relaxation and to cup of tea or coffee. as 'normal' and a result of the stresses of living. to be reduced by removing caffeine from help you sleep well, as well as to maintain The body systems affected arc diverse. fitness levels to cope with long hours at Paradoxically, those people most prone the diet. It stimulates the central nervous system, the books. And, when you need to quench to feelings of anxiety and insomnia are So don't attribute all your headaches, increases the secretion of stomach acid, a thirst - plain cold water is best. Don't often those who are most inclined to con insomnia and agitation to the stresses of thus aggravating ulcers and heartburn, overdo the higher calorie beverages such sume caffeine to excess. Remembering life. Have a look at your caffeine intake. stimulates the heart, leading lo palpita as soil drink, juices and alcohol. Alcohol that 200mg/day can result in effects on If you decide to cut il out of your diet al tions, raises the blood pressure and in in particular may be a drain on your the body, thefollowing listgivesanapproxi- together, the withdrawal phase - head creases urination. body's B vitamins - a deficiency of mate guide to caffeine content: aches, drowsiness and nausea, lasts about A dose of 200mg/day is sufficent to which may affect your short-term me Coffee- percolated - 100mg/150ml two or three days, and the reward at the result in observable effects on the body. mory! drip - 80-200mg/ end is improved sleep patterns and greater 200mg is equivalent to about two cups of relaxation. On the whole - you may indulge your 150ml coffee. Over two cups a day can produce LESLEY PETER self a little - but not at the expense of instant - 60-70mg/150ml a wide variety of effects, from mild, al NSWIT Student Health Service good nutrition. decaffeinated - 2mg/150ml most imperceptible irritability, to severe HOLLY FRAIL Dietitian-Nutritionist SOCIAL ISSUES Towards a Peace Umbrella On Wednesday night September 19, requesting funding. The Labor govern a meeting was held at which many ment has on a number of occasions shown themselves sensitive to the needs of Brisbane's diverse peace and jus and ideals that inspire the peace and jus tice groups were represented. Peo tice movement. The appointment of an ple foi 'Njiclear Disarmament, A ction Ambassador for Peace, the establish for World Development, Freedom ment of a peace research institute in From Hunger Campaign, Amnesty Canberra attached to the Australian International, Australian Peace National University indicate some con Committee, Medical Association for cern in these areas. We are optimistic that the Prevention of War and many as the International Year of Peace approa other groups agreed to create a joint ches it will see itself clear to contributing some proportion of already peaceallocated working party with the object of es moneys lo the establishment of this faci tablishing a Queensland justice and lity. Peace Centre in Brisbane. It is envisaged that the centre will of The movement suffers currently from fer a one slop information point for the a lack of adequate accommodation and peace and justice movcmentinQueensland. resources. The rental expense of office A central and considerable library will space, seminar rooms, printing, educatio provide a resource, available to mem nal facilities and so on is near prohibitive bers of the public, schools and tertiary for volunteer, non-profit making organi institutions. The proposed centre would sations. Dedicated groups and individuals focus on being more responsive to the have, for many years struggled with these community and working on community difficulties in the best way possible. How issues, as well as approaching formal stru- Accommodation has now gained consider Christians for Peace, Social Alternatives, ever, in times when violence in its many tures and organisations and working to able support and momentum from within Phllllplnes Action Support Group, Com forms increases every day, we are aware wards broader goals. Given the magni the whole peace and justice movement mittee In Solidarity with Central America of the need for the diminishing of this tude of the issues confronted the centre and from without. A great deal of support and the Caribbean carry quite specific severe hindrance to good work. Such a would hopefully provide some antidote has come from the established Churches, mandates, differing rationales for action centre would provide joint accommoda to the impotence and consequent apathy from Unions, members of parliament, and analysis of events. This I hope will tion and resources, as,well as a focus for that the enormity of such tasks engender. political parties and members of the pub not prevent you from supporting the pro this peace and justice movement in Bris And this by educating towards understan lic. Bill Hayden, Senator Margaret Rey ject in principle. Democracy and enligh bane. ding and thinking globally but acting and nolds, Richard Butler, Senator George tened politics after all has always relied The movement is by nature highly di working locally. The centre would expect Georges, Senator Michael Macklin and on continual debate and dialogue, for its verse, with differing philosophies, differ to take great advantage of the Internatio Dean Wells in talking with the P.R. & well being. Small groups can only add to ing aims and ways of fulfilling those aims, nal Year of Peace (1986) by regularly run E.C. have ail encouraged and supported this process of debate by supplying crea varying analyses of the community and ning peace and justice films, documenta this joint application for funding to go tive options, alternatives, which may also the world. This diversity though, contri ries for public viewing in collaboration ahead. The general tone could be descri act as antidotes for the sense of powerless butes a wealth of experience and resources with government initiatives and in a con bed as one of cautious optimism. ness and resignation one may experience only fully utilised if shared. A construc certed effort to raise public awareness of The most pressing task at the moment in present society. Moreover, the very tive way of strengthening the existing issues confronting the world but in parti is the gathering ojF signatures in order to limited purposes and issues which many links between groups, whilst respecting cular our own nation and community as indicate to the government the breadth of these groups concern themselves allow differences would be to share a common well as suggesting ways in which we can of community support for this submission. them to pierce the haze of selfishness that centre or building. Similarly, this joint help. We are hoping to obtain in excess of lOO, can so easily envelope the broader thrust facility would encourage a joining to 000 signatures from throughout Queens of community policy. gether for the long term goals that the This project was the brain child of the Peace Research and Education Centre, a land. If you could possibly assist in this groups have in common - justice and PEACE RESEARCH & small Brisbane based non-political and task, please contact the P.R. & E.C. at the peace in the broadest sense. EDUCATION CENTRE non-sectarian group. With the public meet number below. It is with this in view that the joint 5 Landsborough Tee., ing, organised by the P.R. & E.G. on It may be that you do not support some working party will be approaching the Toowong, 4006. September 19 and two subsequent meet of the ideas of some of the groups involv federal government with a submission Ph. 371 4547 ings of the joint working party Project ed in this project. Clearly groups such as Combatting Sexist Advertising In workshops and discussions con tising companies. It is certainly true taries' Association about an advertise vertising. CASIM also wrote to all Heads ducted by CASIM (Committee that the individual is limited in ment circulated to the secretaries of the of Departments, all Administrative Offi Against Sexism in the Media, a club what they can achieve; much, how University by Adler Business Machines cers, the secretaries of the University and of the Union of Students, UQ), par ever, can be done when people earlier this year. The front of the adver female academic staff, as well as a number tisement leaflet featured a platinumblonde ticipants frequently comment that work as a group. of other University staff, requesting that woman naked behind a towel over which purchase of Adler equipment be avoided. while they do indeed find sexist the caption read: "Behind every working The UQ Secretaries Association also re advertising offensive, they see them An example of such action was that woman...". inside the leaflet the woman commended that all University depart selves powerless in the face of the taken by CASIM, the Union of Students had removed the towel on which the re ments avoid purchasing Adler equipment. wealth and resources of large adver- and the University of Queensland Secre- mainder of the caption read: "... is an The Student Union placed a boycott on Adler". the purchase of Adler equipment by the This advertisement was sexist for the Union, and further, passed a motion that following reasons; unless Adler changed its form of adver 1. It trivialised and ridiculed the working tising, the Union would not, in future, woman, in that it showed her not as a hire its rooms to Adler, All,this was con dignified, responsible worker, but veyed to Adler representatives in the WK OFFICE SEHVICES iffiMim merely as a frivolous sex symbol, naked statements from CASIM, the Student behind a towel. The advertisement was Union and the UQ Secretaries' Associ "The Professionals" thus extremely offensive and degrading ation. to working women, particularly to fe- Adier's initial response (from its Bris • SECRETAFyAL, CONRDBfnAL male office staff, & GENERAL TYPING bane office) was negative. Subsequently, 2. A woman's body is, of course, totally however, Adier's Sydney-based National • THESES, ASSIGNMENTS Uniformed irrelevant to business machines and Manager wrote to say that Adler apolo • PHOTOCOPYING (lod. chauffeur. was being used by Adler merely as a gised for the offensive nature of the ad Pfl£ludb{ons/£r^U»r<^*mft»>te ploy to attract the (heterosexual male) vertisement, and that Adler had repri Air conditioned. customer. Apart from the exploitative manded its advertising agency and had • SPffWL BINDING • Business • aspect here, advertisements should be instructed its branches to shred any re • Weddings • Tours directed at all the community and not maining leaflets. • TAPETRANSCRpnONS • Special Functions at only heterosexual males who cons • Private Hire titute less than half of society. A successful outcome like this can pro Adler had hired the Ryan Room of the • Aircraft met bably only be achieved when people work 371 2108 Student Union for two days in April in together In solidarity, and when some Bookings order to display its equipment. CASIM form of "leverage" Is used, in this case, 222 MOGGILL RO^ TARINGA (07) 221 0122 contacted the Student Union and the UQ the potential loss of custom to Adler and Secretaries' Association, and we agreed the unavailability of accommodation with AFTER HOURS 378 2391 BARNES ^ that a delegate from each of the three or- in the Student Union for any future dis ganisations would present themselves at plays. AUTO I the Adler display and make a public state WE NEVER SLEEP 350 Adelaide St Brisbane. " ANNE HORAN ment of protest about Adier's form of ad Committee Against Sexism In the Media ENVIRONMENT TTie Dounreay Connection In Part 2 of nuclear Britain seen through the eyes of the World Bike Ride, PAUL MARSHALL looks at the problems of Dounreay and traces the route taken by the liquid plutonium-nitrate waste. i • , ' • rf ^. ^ J' f • .^BU^• ports, and report on ihcir career service V trying to develop a commercial fast \^i^ W f . ^frW?^^ ^-^ and their training programs. One way or *" f'"-^ \ f\\^^iJmi.{'^^. /'^^^^^ breederreactor.Theirsecondattempt t^W 1 WtK'l^Bl ^'•^^'''^^B n ' ^^^^ another il seems that each edition has a itfs? J ^ flr/^^ i^^ffr^^H • ^V*^^ ., at this goal is the 300MW Prototype favourable story about Dounreay in it. FMX ^ .^-^ / mTj /^Kk^^^M • ^-ita*S^ -• • 4 Fast Reactor currently under test. But, despite a lengthy interview, the story /W^<:^n^^/Tjy /r^^S The first reactor built at the site of an anii-nuclcar group who had cycled U^" nmk \, l^-"^:^^ t closed down in 1977 and is yet to over 15,000km before arriving in Wick re ^B£ y be decommissioned;discussions con ceived scant and belated coverage. tinue on the best means to tackle Dounrcay's liason committee draws to the task. gether local councillors, businessmen, fire brigade and ambulance representatives, Back in the days of nuclear optimism trade unionists, and a host of others it was thought that breeder reactors would throughout the region. While they arc herald limitless supplies of cheap ctcciri- well versed in the public relations game, city. These "second generation" nuclear Dounrcay's greatest strength is that ihey vviii^^n^W] .^iCa reactors are designed to run on a Pluto have made themselves the single largest v>9Bi^^R .^^B^^^^^^^H^H nium fuel and at the same time to breed employer in the Caithness region. The more pluionium in a blanket of uranium town of Thurso doubled in size with the which surrounds the reactor core. (Atoms influx of scientists, engineers, .ind tech of uranium can capture neutrons which nicians from the south. Nowadays seeming arc produced from the nuclear reaction ly everyone in Thur. If there was ever proof needed that That sort of fanaticism is partly explana- before the conference began. SF store Star Trek was one of the most po tor'^as to Star Trek's phenomenal longe owners had given these valuable items out pular series ever on television, it vity,'and was the underlying feel of the to only their best customers and these wouldn't necessarily be that Austra National Science Fiction Club's Confer badges were worn with the same pride lian television channels are still ence held in Brisbane recently. and superiority that has since become ac screening the program 19 years af Most people when they think of science customed to La Coste. ter it debuted on American television fiction think of some pimply 15 year-old A friend of a friend who was attending kid with thick, black rimmed glasses who or even that they have resurrected the conference as an SF buff, and not just was able to quote you any fact out of as an interested observer as I was, provided the storyline into three very success half a dozen Sci Fi texts. It comes as me with the "subtitles" to all the beha ful movies. quite a shock, then to discover that it is viour that was going on. virtually impossible to classify the sci fi "I'm going to get two of those Ghost Nor even the fact that il dominated a fans present into any particular group. Buster cloth patches and sew one on each science fiction conference held in Bris There were, of course the pimply kids arm of my siiirt," he explained In a tone bane, or that a minor character in the of high school fame who asked impossibly that would have been applicable if he had series is deemed as being worth the flight complicated questions, but there were al been YSL talking about a return to tab and "appearance fee" for the said con so very conservative looking doctors, a collars, "It'll look great". ference when it works out lo about $100 group of leather jacketed motorcycle Probably the most informative section for every hour. riders, two new wave Trekkies (complete of the conference was when they had an And no, not even the fact that most of with Star Trek uniforms) and even a prim auction of a wide variety of SF memora the people at this conference knew the proper school marm type whose voice bilia on the Saturday afternoon. plot of the yet to be released in Australia barely raised above a whisper and who I Star Trek 3. What would surely convince am sure was my Grade three teacher. "The reserve price on this poster is a even the most cynical, was that when In fact, the more you attempt to lump joke," my friend explained, "I can get George Takel, Mr Sulu to you, was making these people into one category, the more one of those for 50 cents less than that." a speech he forgot the name of one of the their diversity becomes apparent. I commented on the way that some of minor production officials and a small One binding characteristic that can be the posters had been laminated, to which Further proof of the depth of useless boy, who hadn't even been born when identified is their own strict value system; he explained that paper goes brown and trivia that these SF buffs remember NBC cancelled the series in America, was the unwritten law of SF (as they have brittle after a while if you don't protect it could be seen in the Sci Fi Quiz held able to prompt him with the correct ans even further shortened Sci Fi). For in like this. The others in the room obviously throughout the weekend. When I was in wer. stance there existed a tight sign of senio agreed because the prices for laminated Noosa at Easter, I was looking through rity for collectors of SF memorabilia; a posters was invariably higher than those one of those grotty racks of cheap paper small quantity of the Ghost Busters bad without. backs they have in hamburger places ges had been shipped into Brisbane shortly when I came across a copy of "The Star Trek Quiz Book". One theory that I was beginning to formulate about the collection of this ap Considering myself to be reasonably parent junk was that many of the collec knowledgable on the subject, I soon dis tors had a great sense of kitsch and colle- covered that the book was designed for tcd items simply for their bad taste value. fanatic level only,as seen by the Question: This was soon dispelled when a 30cm tall, Can you recognise the episode by the ceramic ET Gnome was sold for just $3. opening star date? 4523.3 was the Trou More of the collective values came out ble With Tribbles (an answer that I'll when they began to sell other items from never forget because I couldn't believe various movies. Star Wars was generally that such a question could be asked) and popular, except that most of the people the questions asked in the Sci Fi quiz present seemed to already have copies of were of that standard. most of what was displayed, as was any If you had to describe the conference Lucas/Speilberg/Landis SF product. in one overview, you would have to say that it seemed that these people had sup What wasn't popular were the generic pressed their taste for a whole year and copies, like "Space Hunter: adventures in now, when they were tn the company of the forbidden zone" which was actually kindred spirits instead of people who booed off the stage, and "Galaxina" don't know the difference between Zen which received a similar welcome. "That's and K9, they were out to enjoy themselves just Astroboy in drag", was how my friend as much as possible, and it showed. described it. The money raised from the weekend Blakes Seven was immensely popular, was donated to the Red Cross, George as shown by a 10cm clear plastic replica Takei learnt a little about what goes on in of the Liberator, Blake's Starship, which Brisbane, about 400 Sci Fi fans raised a was sold for a staggering $46. The back storm for two days, an ET Gnome was ground of the auction, by matter of in sold for $3 and one amazed Semper re terest, was a life size model of Zen, the porter learnt about an unbelieveable Bris Liberator's computer, which flashed all bane subculture. the requisite lights when speaking like its real counterpart. JOHN HENZELL 3711879 • ST. LUCIA \ £B1 7.30 BROADWAY D. ROSE JM 5PM YOL 2 9.15 MANHATTAN •10 7.30 DRAUGHTSMAN'S 9^0 POLICE ACADEMY SA 5PM DRAUGHT. CONTRACT SCHdlOL 7.30 BROADWAY D. ROSE CLOSED NOVEMBER 9.15 MANHATTAN 11th NOV to 20th DEC FESTIVAL — 8 NEW-FILMS ''ZlT.c'Z^l'r GREAT SUMMER FILM Plus the TOP 20 Movies of 1984. 'A BEAUnnJL FILM. 'A CLASSIC. SCIENCE FICTION Mr Suhi treks into Brisbane George Takei -Two decades of Star Trek If there is anything that you could say about George Takei, it is that he is unbelievably accommodating. • •-••y%iy\. iii:^t. >«^ .•••'. After a hectic day of speaking, answering questions autographing books and photos, getting his photo taken and getting interviewed by the media In Brisbane, all on top of jetlag, he found that his 8 a.m. Sunday jog was accompanied by a very unfit JOHN HENZELL armed with a taperecorder and Nike running shoes. The conference organiser's hectic becomes an Admiral but he also has eye schedule for George ensured that sight problems. There are young people this was the only opportunity to coming on board, new trainees as we interview him before he resumed move up in rank. his nonstop activities at the confer Yesterday at the conference you were ence. stuck for a word and a small boy who was Still he barely seemed to bat an eye barely born when the series began correc and answered all the questionsaccordingly. ted you. Do you ever worry about this That is the impression he maintains; he form of Star Trek worship? intends to milk the Star Trek goose that It's humbling but al the same time it's lays the golden eggs (to mix a few meta flattering to know that what you did a phors) for all its worth. generation ago is being appreciated by With a smiling Californian personality people who weren't even existent at that (he uses the word "love" more often than time. It's like anything in life; it has its most people use the word "the ") he jog up side and its down side. It is a little in ged down through the city commenting timidating to know that there are autho on the fine record Brisbane seemed to rities on Star Trek who weren't even born have in preserving historic buildings (we when we made it but it's flattering to attempted to correct him), and was gener know that they are as interested in what ally inquisitive about what the features of we did then to become authorities. the city were. It may help to attempt to imagine When you were making the series did both the answers and questions being said you have any idea that things like this amid a great deal of puffing and panting conference 19 years later would be the (mostly from John) which, when playing result. Did you have any idea about the tape back, sounded positively obscene. what Star Trek was to become? George Takai, addressing the Brisltane Sci-Fi Conference Were you ever worried about destroying No, we had no notion. We were always the fond memory of the series by doing on the verge of cancellation every season. What would you have changed while hand of Gene Rodenberry. He realised the films; usually when you attempt to We were hanging on by our fingernails making the series to improve it? what the network was trying to do with recapture something like what Star Trek waiting for NBC to step on them and Well, I would have certainly beefed up the show when they programmed it at had all you get Is disappointment. we'd fall into the abyss of cancellations, Sulu's part, that would have been a dis Friday night at 10 o'clock. That is the I'd rather it not die with that, I'd like to use a metaphor. None of us knew it tinct improvement (laughs). I think the morgue hour; that ensures cancellation. to see it alive and make fresh new com would become like this, that Star Trek mixture of elements that Gene Roden- He didn't feel that he wanted to do bat mentaries about the changing times be would be the subject of conventions like berry used; a mixture of social commen tle with those odds so he remained the cause what Star Trek really talked about this in Australia and Europe. tary, a little bit of a commentary on the executive producer but he moved on to was that change is one of the unchangables current political condition in the United other projects and hired another man to in existence and nothing ever remains fro Are you much of a Sci Fi fan yourself? States at the time - like whether to give play the role he had been doing. zen in time and space.and so to continue I've scribbled off a novel myself - arms to one group of beings on a planet Why do you think the series was so that philosophy, that notion is what is Mirror Friend, Mirror Foe - I grew up because the Klingons had given arms to popular? needed. With the Star Trek movies, you on Ray Bradbury and when I started to their enemies. We had the help of scientists who kept will have noticed that we have not allowed do Star Trek, I met people like Norman It's those elements that 1 think really us up with the latest in science. We had the characters to get locked in time. Kirk Spinrad and Ted Sturgess. contributed to Star Trek. I thought it was the RAN corporation and NASA giving us an extraordinarily bold, adventuresome information about the current speculation thing for Rodenberry to do because most, of science. We had people who were attrac in fact almost all, of the American pro ted to the show because of that Integrity grams being shown then were incredibly in predicting what the future might hold bland, in fact it was downright stupid. for us and then, at the core of that, I I prefer scripts that aren't so pat, so think we had a group of characters that obvious. Not the 'negoid-type oppress people could identify with. I think that ing the caucazoid-type'. That's so ob made Star Trek the extraordinary pheno vious. I'd much rather it be something menon that it was. I think we also had less obvious. the talents of many many people that you didn't see on the screen; people who What about Kirk's romantic roles in the work behind the camera and whatever. final series of Star Trek? Would you have left those in because that seemed to really What is happening about Star Trek 4? kill the series. Leonard Nimoy was arranged to direct I think those romantic elements are Star Trek 4 and it was being planned. some of the mundane requirements of They were planning Star Trek 4 but playing to the board with television. It they've closed down all work on it be had very little to do with science fiction cause of a demand by Bill Shatner for $2 or anything like that. I don't think so million to appear and a percentage partici really. If I were the writer, and even then pation - 10% of the gross. I would have to bend my writing to suit Is there any chance of another television the whims of ratings, I think the inordi series? nate amount of romantic fireplay that we Both Bill and Leonard have ruled out had 1 think was there to boost the ratings. another television series but I'm glad you You want to keep the television series asked that because I think there is a won alive for renewing in subsequent series derful opportunity there for another series. and so you throw in the romantic thing I've taken it to the point of thinking up a or you throw in a pretty girl with skimpy new title for the return of Star Trek to clothes which I didn't really object to be television - what do you think of the cause this too was part of the science fic name "Captain Sulu". tion thing. After all, what are the elemen Does being rolecast as Sulu for the rest tal things that make human beings func lOf your career bother you? tion? Sex is a legitimate part of that. King No not at all. After all, when people doms have been lost over sex, murders recognise me in the street, they go "Hey, have been committed over sex so that's a Sulu!" which is OK. When they see Bill part of it. Shatner, given his recent TV series, they Well, the lajt season was terrible, I yell "Hey, Hooker!" I'm much happier agree, and I think that was because we being Sulu in that case. lost the guiding spirit and light of the 11 &bil€i4ie MU/i Zoloft FOR MEN AND FOR LADIES If you are fed up with the way your hair looks - come and see us at Tortoise Hair Salon. Personalised attention and satisfaction are guaranteed. We are open regular business hours as well as Thursday nights and Saturday mornings. 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(075)551166 Southport: 19 Alicia St (075) 329822 Not valid with any other offer 13 UNION Sdwnell^ Skjccess Story The student union's own cinema, Wc have gone back to the origins of what the Schonell Theatre, is having a our cinema was." bumper year. Despite the depressed state of the cinema industry, and The Cinema Club has increased atten the boom in home videos, the Scho dances by 30 per cent over last year. The greater profits have been pfoughed into nell tsenjoying improved attendances other areas of the Union. and increased profits. Said Mr Wakenshaw: "By July of this year we made as much profit as we did Schonell manager Mr Ron Wakenshaw, in the full 12 months of the previous attributes the theatre's success to the year." Cinema Club created in February this The Cinema Club has not been without year. The club offers member discounts its problems. Mr Wakenshaw admitted to all the Schoncll's screenings, and can that loo many films had been screened be joined for a modest fee. With a mem during the year - an average of 24 per bership of 1,800 the club is still growing. month. Many patrons had missed films In previous years the Schonell acted they had wanted lo sec. as a first-release outlet, screening many significant foreign films. This policy tied Using information gleaned from a the cinema to the distributers' pricing questionairc conducted during the year, structures and timetables. Prices were the Schonell next year is opting for a po higher, and film changes less frequent. licy of screening 12 different films per month. With increasing competition from the These will comprise two international Valhalla Cinema in New Farm, the Scho subtitled films, two popular films, four nell has opted out of the first-release mar cult classics, and four specialty films of ket. Mr Wakenshaw said the new policy limited appeal. had brought the cinema back to its origins. "The Cinema Club enabled us to have Mr Wakenshaw defined the specialty Schonell will present a Summer film fes These Include the American cult classic standard programming catering to every films as those of substantial merit that tival during the Christmas period of each "Eating Raoul",Truffaut's"Confidentially one, every week. We lowered admission were no longer economical to screen. year. These will be designed to counter Yours", and a film each from India, Mar prices and we screen only quality films These would be shown on Sunday after the absence of quality cinema during the tinique, Sweden, and the USSR. each week. We choose from all the cine noons and presented as short festivals - holiday periods. Apart from these first releases, the ma in the world. The city cinemas have festivals of Fellini films, German cinema This year's festival will begin on Decem Schonell will rescreen its 24 most popular to take the American type escapist Films and the like. ber 21 and its highlights will be eight films of 1984. that don't appeal to our type of audience. Apart from the Cinema Club, the first-release films from around the world. TIM LOW This is the last Semper for 1984 sporting clothing, dinnerware, stationery, and the last Union News. So this Is luggage, outdoor furniture, and Premier my last chance to wish you all good blinds. luck with your exams and have a KODAK wonderful holiday. Again, the Union has been busy negotia 5CENTP.HOT0C0PIERS ting discounts for students - this time with Kodak who will be doing the proces The Union now has two photocopiers in the foyer of the Union Building outside sing for the Union Shop at a 40 per cent the Union shop and one in the Biol. Sci discount: ences refec. These machines all operate 12 exposures Normal Price $ 11.28 on a 5 cent coin. This price is a bit over Union Price $ 6.77 1 cent cheaper than the University's chea 24 exposures Normal Price $17.76 pest copy. Another benefit you get from Union Price $10.66 the Union. 36 exposures Normal Price $24.24 API STORE Union Price $14.54 The Union has negotiated with API and With these savings you can take almost has gained a discount for students joining. twice as many pictures for the same price. You can become a member of the trading EXTERNAL STUDENTS society for $5, which is half the normal The Board of External Studies and Con price. tinuing Education has places for five ex This store offers such items as gifts, ternal students as representatives. These cosmetics, watches, kilchcnwarc.cassettcs, are nominated by the President of the Manchester, ladies underwear, nursery Union. If you wish to be one of these re iy difficult to hold meetings. However, furniture, sporting goods, mcnswear. presentatives for 1985, please contact me PLAYHOUSE ART UNION at the Union Office. with teleconferencing it is possible to link The winner of the above art union was up nine telephone conversations in a con TELECONFERENCE C. Misko who won the prize of aerobics mi. ference network. The next teleconference classes for two to the value of $390. The Union's External Students Committee will be held on 23rd October. MARXIST has taken a step into modern technology. WOMEN'S RIGHTS LEGAL AID SUMMER With students as far afield as Cairns, Bur it's the 10th Year of Women's Services SCHOOL leigh Heads and Chinchilla, it is extrcme- 1. Every Thursday at 1.00 p.m. on 4ZZZ in Queensland and the anniversary of & FESTIVAL the Legal Aid Section has a spot ad Woman's House. To celebrate all wo January 12-20, vising students on their legal rights, men and children are invited to a day of ins, Mtrtwtlhtr etc. If you have any particular area of fun and festivities on November 10th. Building, Sydney "A Night in the Rainforest" of the law which you wish discussed Woman's Fete: 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Albert Univiriily on this programme, contact Legal Aid Park, Spring Hill. featuring Office and they will try to accommo Bigger, better& blighter! Open Forum: 4 p.m. Women's House Tht Sth MSS & F will be t forum for the presting date all requests. !>robltmt of the Autralian Lt/l, and provide a wide Dance: Caxton Street Hall, Petrie Tee., range of tnterlainmtnt. 2. Legal Aid Office is considering running Dr. David Bellamy advisory workshops on legal matters in 7.30 p.m. to 12 p.m. Licensed. •Which way the Left? noted British botanist & consan/atlonist first semester 1985 if enough students (Child care available for Forum and Through iheAlPtA newtocialist Party? H'herenoM! Dance.) ihtCPAt... are interested. Again, if you are inte WadnesdayS p.m., 31 st October rested, please contact Legal Aid Office. MEETINGS •The Resurgent Right Brisbane City Hall TheNCC, trWti'H', thertt In 1984, the year when the lives of Left, something they are nol terribly keen individuals were supposed to be sub on giving after the Federal conference. servient to the State, the Australian 1984 was a year of much soul-search population did indeed love Big Bro ing for the coalition parties, especially ther, but they seemed fairly happy the Liberals, with a spate of books and newspaper articles agonising over future doing so. The most noticeable fea direction. Typical of this navel-gazing ture of 1984 in Australian federal was a weekend in May when leading Li politics was the approval rating of beral Parliamentarians and party pooh- Bob Hawke, which peaked al about bnhs retreated to Thrcdbo. Andrew Pea 78%. And Hawke was a genuine big cock was the leader in the right place al brother - not in the Orwellian the wrong time - he would have appeared sense, but in a protective, trust-me, a lot more attractive if Hayden, who is sense. And example of this was dur not as similar to him as Hawke, was Prime Minister, In Parliament the coalition's big ing the election campaign, when he guns were Ian Sinclair and John Howard, was put on the defensive about a although Sinclair quietened down as the capital gains tax. His reply - it's year progressed. not coming in, regardless oi what The National Party was fairly quiet all anyone else says. Trust me. year, possibly because of the administra Other than a shift towards a presiden tion of the Minister for Primary Industries, tial style (which has been going on for a John Kerin, who managed to appease the few years anyway), 1984 was a year of vocal farming lobby. However with Sin subtle, undramatic changes in who holds clair as leader of the National Party, the power and how it is exercised. Within the possibility of a conservative amalgama ALP (and, by extension, the government), tion always exists. Sinclair was born in the pragmatic Right-wing group based in Sydney and is still active in Sydney soc NSW consolidated their grip and look as ial circles, and his preoccupations are ur though they'll tighten it even further after ban rather than rural. His first major the election. Neville Wran, sounding like a speech as leader of the National Parly, Daiek with larangytis, was a slightly less at the opening of the Richmond by-elec prominent figure, but along with the Trea tion in February, dealt with pensions surer, Paul Keating, Hawke, a member of (assets and means test), non-government Hawke's staff, Peter Barron, and Senator schools, and defence - no mention of the Graham Richardson, was still part of an supcrphosatc bounty or any other tradi 'inner clique' which made the major po tional rural concern. litical decisions. Outside Parliament the right wing con adorns bank notes, announced his retire features - a significant reduction in the The demonstration of the power of tinued their existential turmoil promp ment in August. What was billed "The budget deficit (from just under $8 billion the Right-wing group came at the ALP's ting "The Bulletin" to run a cover story Stone Age" in Treasury finished with an to $6-7 billion) a tax cut of $7.60 a national conference in Canberra in July, on the philosophical surge of the "Nev/ attack on the national economic summit, week for all Australians, and a package of when the lefties were visibly done over Right" as epitomised in speeches by Hugh trade union leaders, governments of all improved resources in social welfare (cost (the proceedings of the conference were Morgan, Professor Geoffrey Blainey, and persuasions, and anyone who didn't agree $130 million). The 10% tax on wine broadcast and televised) on the major is John Stone. Morgan, the chairman of a with him. A few weeks later he had a bought the wrath of victuallers down on sues of uranium, the entry of foreign mining company, branded aboriginal (and chop at the ALP who, after the election, the Government, but generally the reac banks, and EastTimor.Some thin pickings rights "anti-Christian" and "a step back would tax Australia into the ground. tion to the budget was the best for many were given to the Left - the re-tnstate- to the world of paganism, spiritualism, What will be interesting in 1985 will be years. Despite the reduction in deficit, ment of David Combe, for example - but and fear". In March, Blainey told a group the effect, if any, of these strands of outlays in 1984-85 arc predicted to rise the Right consolidated with the help of of Rotarians at Warrnambool that the thinking on coalition policies. by 6.1% in real terms to a record 31.9% the new faction, the Centre Left. pace of Asian immigration was "well ahead Other opposition outside Parliament in real terms, highlighting the extent to Formed in Adelaide in February, this of public opinion". Blainey kept up his came from the doctors, who bought a which the lower deficit was dependent faction was supposed to be the power attacks which culminated in his book new dimension to industrial relations. Me upon the increase (17.7% in money terms) base of the ex-leader of the party. Bill "All for Australia", in which he claimed, dicare was the thin edge of the wedge for in revenues. Hayden, and was a reaction against the amongst other things, that Australia's im the medicos, and after much skirting migration policy was directed from a "se Towards the end of the year the amount numbers-crunching machine-style opera around they finally went on strike in of Senate inquiries and Royal Commis tions of the Right. The acid lest of this cret room" in the Department of Immigra NSW in June. The government does not tion. He also claimed that the Freedom of sions promoted the Melbourne "Age" to faction's power will come with the lob seem too concerned about this. After all, produce a "Guide to Organised Crime". bying for Deputy Prime Minister if, as Information Act had proved useless in un doctors are normally coalition voters. locking the room, but records showed no Corruption was the major issue of the expected, Lionel Bowen calls it a day. The battle is continuing, and should be NSW election in March, and the number Keating of the Right is keen for the job, mention of any requests made by Blainey interesting to watch throughout 1985, to the Department under the act. John of independents elected seemed to in as is the Centre Left's candidate, the The budget, brought down in August, Stone, the not-so-retiring secretary of the dicate that a dirty election favours no Minister for Finance, John Dawkins. was fairly predictable. Treasurer Keating Treasury and the man whose signature political party. The coalition, undaunted, But Dawkins needs the support of the neatly incorporated the three promised took up the issue strongly in Parliament, culminating in Peacock calling Hawke a 'little crook'. Corruption is very much an issue of the last resort as well as an issue that is easy to beat up while in opposition, and it will remain as an issue only until the coalition gets something better to bleat about. For 1984, the big winners were Bob Hawke, Paul Keating (the Finance Minis ter of the Year), Bill Hayden, John Ho ward (the next Leaderof theOpposition), while the losers were Andrew Peacock and Mick Young. But personalities are likely to remain more important than issues. Never before has an election cam paign started with the Prime Minister sporting a black eye after being hit in a game of cricket, and the Leader of the Opposition relaxing by watching a video of "The Blues Brothers". With Peter Garrett standing for the Senate, the next Prime Minister could be the king oflhckids, Molly Meldrum. 15 c«l minal investigation I understand Brad Bauman Australian Academics for Peace in the Mid is nol proceeding in this way prefering to lake dle East and Australasian Middle East Studies the, (in my opinion, generous) view that it Association. should be seen as the excesses of a group of it has been established that there is no con people who were so distraught at the students tact between these organisations, this despite voting to take away their "divine right to the fact that members of each may be in the control" the union. same university, even the same department, I believe the incident should be fully in and that, mutatis mutandis, a parallel situation %; vestigated. It would be tragic if our union exists in universities in other parts of the wes succumbed to the type of illegal attitudes tern world. We believe, therefore, that a prima that resulted in Peter Baldwin being severely facie case exists for an enquiry into the free assaulted, interchange of views on the Middlb f gst at BARRY ATKINS the academic level. For the purpose of pursuing such an en quiry we are seeking answers to the following CONSUMER STRAIGHT-TALK questions: 1) Why are there two groups within the uni Dear Sir, versities whose stated objectives so far over I am writing to warn other students against lap as to render one or other redundant? following the advice of some retailers in 2) To what extent, if any, are these groups patronising their stores 'as they give a stu committed to a policy vis a vis the Zionist/ dent discount'. Recently (27/9/84) I fell anti-Zionist conflict? into this trap in patronising Bentley's 3) If either group is committed (2) should: (a) Camera House at Cannon Hill's Galaxy Such commitment be indicated in the title Plaza. of the organisation? (b) Academics affiliated I enquired as to whether they gave a stu to an organisation so committed declaresuch dent discount and was told that they did. When affiliation when commenting on relevant 1 placed some items purchased elsewhere on the matters through the media? counter, the salesman noticed that I had bought some flash-cubes from K-Mart. He said that he Our objective in preparing this report is to supplied this type of flash-cube and did not see ascertain whether there is a breakdown in com why he should give a discount if I did not patro munication at the highest academic levels in the nise his shop (or all my photographic needs. western world. «L°ETT'BR»S» This, I thought, was probably fair enough so I We invite graduates and undergraduates to then asked for the films I wanted without a send us information and/or comments on the TEAS PETITION SHAME FLEUR SHAME discount. The salesman became very irrate and issues raised. Unless otherwise directed, we may refused to serve me at all, whether I paid full use such material in full or part and publish the Recently, the Minister for Finance, Mr Dear Editors, price or not. I believe this treatment was un name of our informant. All correspondents will Dawkins, received 1000 separate petitions I believe students should be made aware fair as I had driven out of my way to use his receive a copy of the issue in which the report over the standard of TEAS allocations. that Fleur Kingham who was elected last shop. appears. His response, addressed to Union Presi year to serve a three year term as their Your co-operation would be appreciated. dent Tony Kynaston, is published here as Student Senator has not attended the My initial information as to the discount THE JEWISH COMMENTARY a letter to the editor. last four Union Council meetings. Over available came through the Med Bulletin and the past seven she has been present only I suspect it may have been included in an issue Box 75, Bondi, NSW 2026 Dear Sirs, twice. of Semper. I suggest that if this attitude prevails MARKM. BRAHAM Thank you for forwarding to me, under This type of abrogration of responsibilities among the staff of Bentley's Camera Houses, no Editor covering letter, 1000 individually signed is something that no student can condone. In student should patronise this chain of stores, letters from students at the University of deed our constitution makes it clear that if a and that Bentley's be removed from any list of Queensland and the Queensland Institute NATIONAL DEBT person fails to attend, in person, three out of discounting retailers that is published for Uni of Technology, on the subject of the Ter six consecutive meetings that position shall versity of Queensland students. tiary Education Assistance Scheme Dear Sir, be declared vacant automatically. (TEAS). PAUL KOMAROWSKI One of the most disturbing features of Exactly how many of the University Senate the recent Federal Budget was the massive When this Government came to office last meetings she has missed I have not been able to deficit that was anticipated - $6,745 year it inherited a declining economy, high un find out. Regardless of this she still has an obli BLACK HUMOUR million. A deficit is usually funded by employment, a tertiary education system with gation to attend the Union Council meetings so bonds/loans from financial institutions, insufficient places to meet demand, a generally that she can convey the Senate's feelings on Dear Sir, run-down educational system and inadequate banks etc., on which we pay interest. matters which effect students. On the review of The Litt'.e Black Book student assistance levels, These problems can Even at 10%, this means an increase of The reason why her position was not de of Atomic War (Semper no. 8): not be solved immediately, principally because S674.5 million in the interest on our Na clared vacant at the meeting before last was Yes, this is a 'funny' book. This is apparent the solutions compete for public resources. tional Debt per annum. 1 have seen it because the Chairperson ruled that: as she was from a glance at the cover, however the distinc Thus, measures which the Government takes to slated that 52% of the government's possibly "out of town" on one of those dates tion that seems to have eluded Karen Long is stimulate ecomonic growth and employment revenue is used to pay the interest on our on which the meetings was held she could pos that this humour is black, which means it's not come at the expense of increased expenditure National Debt. Thedebtsof State Govern sibly be a "non-metropolitan" student, (even iust a funny book. on other areas, and so on. The approach we ments and Local Authorities make the though she lives in Brisbane!), The logic is out have adopted is one of gradual improvement What we take exception to is that Long situation much worse. If the directors of standing in its imprecisioni across a range of areas rather than a complete has found it necessary to criticize legitimate a big company budgetted for an enormous solution in some areas while ignoring others. On the basis of these facts I call upon nuclear researchers i.e. Drs Caldicolt, with her deficit, they certainly wouldn't be direc Fleur to resign her position ss Student Senator references to "impassioned pleas" that have tors after the following annual meeting of In the area of student assistance we have or start attending meetings. rendered "people in the street" immune to any shareholders - they would be kicked out. increased allowances under all schemes in BARRY ATKINS nuclear consciousness. In effect, she takes it Surely a financial system must serve the both Budgets, with the greatest increases to Activities Vice President Elect. upon herself to do something the author (Marc interests of the people, not enslave them. If the the schemes which had the lowest allowances Ian Barasch) has avoided, and presumably initially. Both the allowances and the means present financial system cannot serve the would prefer not to do. test level under TEAS will be increased by 10% people as it should, then it ought lo be scrapped, Certainly, humour often succeeds where dry from 1 January 1985, and some anomalies and a different system implemented, one which MORE SHAME facts fail, but in this instance, we would suggest and inconsistencies in the TEAS regulalions is based on credit, not on debt; on grants, not that Long would know little of the Caldicotts' have been removed. Expenditure has also in Dear Editors, on loans. The Federal Government has the facts, or she vvould realize they are the last creased on other areas of education, particu While we are in the complaints section: power to authorise the Reserve Bank to do this. oneslobecritici2edforemDtion3l,"impassioned" larly (he TAPE system. In deciding how to Last council we saw an action unpreceden H. LAWRENCE diatribes. They concentrate on objectivity. distribute funds for education the Govern ted in Union politics. The "time honoured" Perhaps Long should listen a little more ment has attempted to improve not only approach of "shit sheets" smearing their op carefully riext time one of the "didactic nuclear student allowances but also access to, and ponents; the ruthless "number crunching" at protestors" she scorns is speaking; certainly a quality of, education. meetings; the "pork barrelling"; the "barrow CHRISTIAN GAYS tittle instruction about the realities of nuclear I acknowledge that TEAS allowances are pushing"; paled into insignificance compared less than unemployment benefits. However, to the actions of Mike Kaiser (current Educa warmongery wouldn't do her any harm. Dear Sir, I would point out that, unlike unemploy tion Vice President and next years National Better still, we can all stay on our asses I wish to disagree with the idea, put for ment benefit recipients, students are receiv Student Affairs Officer). yawning at the dreariness of 'how many times ward in the last edition of 'Semper', that we con destroy the earth now' statistics. Obviou ing an education at considerable public ex During question time Mike Kaiser asked the 'being a Christian and being gay is not a sly, when the big day comes, there'll be even pense which, in general, makes it easier for President elect. Brad Bauman, a number of contradiction or an oddity'. them to obtain employment later as well as questions and selectively quoted from a private more of those "absurd, trivial and funny little Homosexual acts are condemned in nume being valuable in itself. letter addressed to Brad, which Bratl had never snippets" that made the world go hang. rous places in the Bible, for example, Leviticus KATE LANGBROEK, LINDA CARROLI. The fact that TEAS is not available to all received! 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1:26-27 and students is consistent with the concept of needs How Mike Kaiser "obtained", "found", JOHN CAREY 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, These references state based eligibility, which the Government fully "discovered", "acquired" or "appropriated", that God hates this sin, that anyone practicing supports on the grounds of equity. In this or any other euphemism you care to use, this it will no longer be considered one of His peo MIDDLE EAST STUDIES context, specific consideration must be given letter was not a question he chose to answer. ple or inherit His Kingdom; also, that those prac to the amount of financial support available The facts of the matter are: Dear Sir, tising it bring upon themselves their own punish ment {A.I.O.S.?) from the student's family. 1. Brad Bauman's private mail was opened and We are researching academic involvement The points you have raised will be taken photo copied, before he saw it. in matters connected with the Middle However, the Bible also states the good into account in any iurther deliberations on 2. The letter was taken, by panons unknown, East, with particular regard to the conflict news that Jesus came into the world to save student allowances. I understand that you will from the Executive Secretary's desk, and centriiig on the State of Israel. sinners (le. you and me) and that He will not arrange for this letter to be published by way of returned. Preliminary enquiries indicate that there are turn away anyone who comes to Him. All of reply to all the individual signatories. 3. Mike Kaiser distributed some 20-30 copies two Australian academic organisations actively us need to admit that He is boss and accept this $S J. S. DAWKINS of this letter at the meeting. engaged in studies and/or aclivilies concerned offer of help. Don't leave it too late. Minister for Finance Although the situation would justify a cri exclusively with the Middle East. These are ANNETTE DEXTEfl (1st Year Science) ^>X«>KO>» .%%••'••*••• ^^^B^^K^if; 16 ESPIONAGE Keeping an eye on f lie spies Carbalah Revisited In the last Semper, we ran an article on the alledged US spy base at Carbalah near Toowoomba. MARK D. HAYES replies to that article and offers his views on what is being done at tlie base, iniiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiiiniiniijiiiniiiiniiiiiiiitiiiiiniiiiiiitiiiiniiiiiiiiii^ I am writing in response to the arti these are in the VHF band rather than the cle on Carbalah in the last issue HF band, and arc local transmissions any of 'Semper'. I am exceptionally dis way. There is some evidence to indicate that the NSA can and does monitor over appointed that such an important seas telephone, telex, and data communi subject has been examined so poorly cations in and out of Australia, and could in this article. well monitor some point-to-point micro wave channels as well. No need lo even As I will outline below, the story has use a satellite such as the 647 system, many serious failings, the first being the Ihcy could take taps out of major tele photograph at its head. If the authors phone exchanges using facilities used by have been to Carbalah and have actually ASIO or the Federal Police. What Carbalah seen the CDAA at the back of the base, certainly could do is to monitor transmis they should have been able to get a de sions from cargo vessels or fishing fleets cent photograph of the thing. Even with a out at sea and relay that 'commercial in standard camera lens it Is possible to get telligence' back lo the NSA, which does good pictures of the CD.AA, through a make such intelligence available lo major 28mm or 35mm lens would be better, or US corporations, as jamcs Bamford docu a composite of two or three 200mm tclc- ments in The Puzzle Palace. One of Owen's photo photographs. While agreeing that points about the HFDF system was that the CDAA is not easy lo photograph, you it could monitor Island to island radio should have been able to publish a good telephone communications in the Pacific pic, and not fall for the same mistake as micro-states. These nations cannoi afford DDQ-IQ did when they put an interview satellites or cables between their scattered with Owen Wilkes to air on August 20, islands, so they use HF RTs to link the is 1982 with overlay shots of that rusty lands. Carbalah could monitor those RTs object you featured in the published pic and pass very useful intelligence on lo the ture. It is not the CDAA, and could well NSA, which could be used, for example, be cither a clothes line or a volley ball net to alcri the ANZUS partners to micro- tish frigate which then joined the Task under the antenna array. Even I can signi or even an ordinary shortwave antenna slate negotiating positions on issues such Force. If wc were covertly assisting the ficantly reduce ETI in my antenna system run by an Army tech for his Dx hobby. as Nuclear Free Zones or the current US- British, our position on the Falklands/ at home, caused mostly by my computer, In the body of the article, it is very Samoan dispute about luna fishing. Malvinas was seriously compromised from by simply shielding the antenna down-leg generally accurate as far as it goes, but It is drawing an awfully long bow to the outset. Secondly, with the US deploy and grounding the outer cable properly. not good enough by a long way. Had you suggest that Carbalah could be a nuclear ment of BGM-109 Tomahawk SLCMs in There were many minor errors in your done your homework properly, you target. Owen did say that during the 1980 the Pacific underway, Australia could piece which detract significantly from its would have been able to put together a British civil defence exercise Square Leg, get dragged into a war in which we have overall intent and thrust, with which I tight piece which should have been able a similar operation at Cricksands was as no direct defence interests simply be agree, by the way. The only major US to seriously embarass Bill Hayden and sumed to be a target but his feeling about cause of our HFDF support to FOSIC. facility which routinely 'chats' with US David Lange, both of whom have claimed Carbalah was that if the USSR wanted lo On this point, you might take a close FBMs is North West Cape through its that Carbalah, and a similar station in disable the HFDF system in Australia, look al the up-coming ANZUS Triad ex VLF leg. Do tidy up your basic know New Zealand at Tangimoana, are vital for they would hit Waisonia, the collector ercise starling in New Zealand early next ledge of precisely what the US bases here Australian and New Zealand defence, as node, rather than take out each little sta month, for which the US is sending an do before writing about them again. opposed to anybody else's defence. Both tion in the system. Saying a place is a nu AWAC E-3A Sentry, amongst other air Some of those errors were caused by your politicians have not admitted the NOSIS- clear target might be a good propaganda craft. Also, if you contact PND in Mel poor writing style. As I.F. Stone once FOSIC-NSA links in the High Frequency point to make, but it has to be a credible bourne, you would gel information on said, a good journalist should always Direction Finding (HFDF) system of claim, and saying Carbalah could be quite the up-coming national and Trans-Tas- wake up angry. Your piece is not angry which Carbalah, the other Australian links high on a Soviet target list is pushing the man anti-NOSIS action scheduled for late enough, the anger being conveyed through in the system, and Tangimoana arc com credibility jusi a lilllc loo far. I have dis October, including a peace camp outside light writing packed lo overflowing with ponents. solid fads and nol littered with colour cussed this poini with Owen, and with Waisonia. They have also produced a use about the early morning sun cutting You should have interviewed Owen PND/CANE people al Toowoomba - ful brochure on Watsonia, which you through fog lo reveal the sprinklers and Wilkes here, or by telephone from New who you should have interviewed MONEY WORRIES? Here's the good news — CAMPUS LOANS* from the COMMONWEALTH BANK. Ask today about details of our full range of banking services and especially our Deferred Repayment (CAMPUS) Loans.* * Deferred Repayment Loans are available to full-time tertiary students who have completed at least two years study and generally have no more than two years remaining. CX»BVIONVVEALTH BANK. Malting muiey come to terms with people. 18 MUSIC Fifteen years of Social Comment Don McLean is currently on his fifth tour of Australia. Before starting his Queensland shows, he spoke to OLIVIA STEWART about his music and his views on today's society. Fame and time haven't changed he didn't do anything except play Don McLean. Fifteen years on, the around to bring il out. maker of 'American Pie' is still as He said once, "Often I get the sensation that there are other voices much the thinker, the seer, the so speaking through my tongue and other cial commentator as ever. hands writing through my fingers. There are times when amazing sentences will "Today", he says, "there's a lot that come to mind. I never think of myself could be said about what's going on, but as a poet, but somehow all this poetry if and when I get around to it, it's not was written." going to be pretty." Don McLean possesses a laid-back What he sees is hypocrisy - people philosophy - no doubt a luxury afforded are saying that they want change but they him by his past success - which enables aren't doing anything about it, he says. him to continue to "do his own thing" re "There's a lot of lip service to having a gardless of the effect on his career. social conscience, but there isn't much The charts, he says, don't mean much real, hard-knuckle effort being put in by anymore."Look what'sNo.l -'Divine'?" people to achieve things. What they really he asks incredulously. "No.1 today would want is to keep their heads in the sand, beNo.Triple-Xinl972." and 'Give me my pleasures, and give me "I don't get worried about making the my security' and all the rest of it," he charts. I don't sweat it, because I don't says contemptuously, "and it's ultra-con care. I don't care whether or not I'm on servative. That's the kind of paradox that's the bottom, or in the middle - il doesn't happening now." bother me one bit. 'Cause if I'm on the During the 1960s, he says, it was diffe bottom I can fight my way back up, and rent. "Back in the 60s, people wanted if I'm on top I can hold onto it. I'm change, and they wanted to face and speak confident of that." the unspeakable and know the unknowa I don't feel like I have this pressure to ble and deal with the consequences, and have something out, that 'I must be heard they got songs to go with it and they got from', " he continues, "because I've found political action to go with it." from experience that if you do something Don McLean at his Brisbane press conference McLean states these views with the that's no good, then people forget it really same eloquence and insight that permeates quick, and if you do something that's When he wrote 'American Pie', McLean what? If you're into an artist, you'll find his music. What he has to say in conversa very good, they never forget it." has said, he knew he had "written some out everything you can about iiim, and if tion is every bit as compelling as the con That is something that McLean would thing great". But at the same time, he you're not, you'll pigeon-hole him with tent of his songs, and just as sincere. know full-well. When 'American Pie' was said he could "see the writing on the one or two paintings and let it go at that. wall". The appearance of the man himself, released in 1971, he was hailed as "The The fact that people pigeon-hole artists though, belies the image. He is not a stri Prophet", and the song's epic, cryptic ly "( knew that kind of phenomenon by their most important work is an indi king figure - smaller and older than ex ric was subjected to possibly the closest doesn't happen all the time. 1 realized cation of those people's lack of under pected, and casually dressed, he is a rela scruntiny ever given a pop song. 'Life', that I had my finger on a theme that was standing, nothing lo do with the artist." tively unobtrusive presence. But this is 'Time', and 'Newsweek' were among not going to become obsolete. In America how he wants to be - he prefers to go un those magazines which offered interpre we often talk about the American 'death Although McLean recognises that peo noticed. He says keeping a low profile has tations of its verse. 'American Pie' has trip', and so I was hooked into it, and I ple will always try to label artists, he has enabled him "to experience fame as a by lived on in people's hearts and minds, knew I was hooked into it. I had this idea done his best to avoid being categorised. stander". to become a rock classic. Even if you of America dying caught in a song, and all He has a rule that he writes by - he doe these other factors coming together, and Despite his refusal to succumb to the don't know Don McLean for anything sn't repeat himself. I guess that's the reason why it's lasted - rituals of popular acceptance, McLean has else, you know him for'American Pie". "Because I've written a song about a it hit the nail on the head in terms of managed to survive for over 15 years in a And what was it really about? To this painter, or about a girl and a guy, a cer what was happening. And also, it operates business where, he says, "if you're gone perennial question McLean gives an an tain situation, I'm not going to write on different levels - kids see it as a kids' for 12 minutes they've forgotton who swer as elusive as the meaning of the another one, because that's letting com- song, intellectuals see it as something preg you are". song's words, and equally cryptic. He says merical pressures dictate what it is youife nant with all sorts of meaning, rock peo Even now, he can still draw-in the that although he wrote it to be an epic, meant to do, and that is prostitution in ple see it as sort of an anlhem, and all crowds. His current tour of Australia (his he wanted people to read more into it the artistic sense. I'd rather surface very that." fifth) was so popular that extra shows than was there. It appears thai he wants once in a while with something that's were added. He is now doing a total of 35 people to do the same thing with his ans Don McLean did produce one other really special." shows, all of which have sold-out. wer, but that's understandable - to reveal classic, 'Vincent', a sentimental, pictures And inspiration is something that Don McLean believes his past success is all would destroy the very focus of the que ballad about painter Vincent Van McLean certainly is not lacking. With his what enables him to remain competitive song's attraction. Gogh, which became an even bigger inter concern and involvment in the direction in today's transient music scene. "If you think about a biblical story, national hit than 'American Pie'. of our society as strong as it ever was, "I'm lucky - I've got my foot in the one of those big things like Genesis or By his own admission, it is unlikely there will always be some social commen door. I have a name, and a reputation, something like that, that's what I was that new material can ever come up to tary, some insight, for him to offer. the standard of these two songs- McLean and 15 years of concertising under my shooting for. Some biblical story with all McLean says that if he ever runs out of considers that he probably has only a cou belt, so that puts me way down the road. this power to it like there is in the Bible. things to write about, it won't have any ple of really classic songs in him. This That makes my career about 10 times But the idea 'the day the music died' was thing to do with what's going on, it will knowledge, however, has never worried longer than most people's in this business." an apocalyptic thing, and then all I did be because he is 'switched-off. But this McLean. As an artist, McLean has never let com- was create these characters that were seems an unlikely prospect at best, when merical interests dictate what he does - somewhat like caricatures of rock stars, "Maybe they overshadow my other you consider that he says he's had nothing he has always written what he feels, from but had nothing lo do with that at all. It work because they overshadow it. It doe on his mind but songwriting and singing the heart. It is incredible that someone was just a trick to make people listen to sn't matter. It's like saying 'Starry Night' for 25 years. Van Gogh painting overshadows some with no formal musical training can blend it and get Into it. The first part was just So what does the future hold for Don painting that Van Gogh did of the forest words and music together with such mas about a memory 1 had as a kid of learn McLean? "I'll continue for another 25 - not that you can compare me to him, terful skill that they become as one. ing about the death of Buddy Holly as a years," he says, "if the fates allow." but what I'm saying is that artists have a McLean takes no credit for this newspaper boy. It starts off as a personal variety of things that they do, and if one himself. He says he was just "one of thing, and then it moves into this other work overshadows everything else, so y'ltiir\W% * • fc the lucky ones" - it was in him, and area. 19 Earlier this month, the Cure came to Brisbane to perform one concert. KIM HAMILTON Interview ed Lawrence Tolhurst of the band to find out his ideas on the Cure's music and what he thinks is happening to the music industry. "This is'Candid Camera', isn't .it?" "We're not restrictive like that. We can't afford to be - Robert and I are too hard A disbelieving Lawrence (Lol) Tol to get along with." hurst looks around for non-existent But do the press reports worry them? cameras before answering the phone "Not at all! When we read reports that that has interrupted him for the say the Cure are over we usually have a tenth time. bit of a laugh because we know its not true. The press really doesn't worry us. I The first day of the Cure's Australian mean should another article on the Cure tour saw the band facing an endless bar never be printed, enough people know rage of interviewers and, briefly after ex about us for the band to keep going." periencing the resulting chaos, it was un derstandable how Tolhurst could feel This is probably true, especially after someone was out lo get him, their recent successes, and after wide ex The success of the last four Cure sin posure through the medium of video clips. gles ("The Walk", "Lets go to Bed", "Videos are very important mainly be "Love Cats" and "Caterpiller") has ob cause it's the only way a lot of people are viously greatly increased public curio going to get to see you. Eventually bands sity about the Cure and given the band will stop doing extensive tours because ::':-x:::¥:W:5SS< %%:.>^>>Xv-;v.^v.:.;.:.:.:.v/.:<.:.::.::-:-;:;-/.'.-.-.-.-.:.:. long deserved recognition. the costs are too high and churn out vidoes • • • • •••.••••••••••••'? •^:^^^^v•y.^^^!•:•:•:•:•:^•:•:•:•:•:•:•:^^^^:.!•:•:•^:•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• The band first formed in 1976 under instead. It's starting to happen now. Wc the name "Easy Cure" which was later did it for quite some time. Mind you we shortened to the Cure. The band has al didn't have the money for lavish produc ways been something of an oddity in the tion". eyes of the music press because of Robert While doing the film clip for "Love Smith's unusual counternance but mainly Cats" Tolhurst had to walk down a street because of the constant changes in the at six in the morning dressed in a full cat band's line-up. suit. The two constants of the band are "I unintentionally scared this old Tolhurst and Smith and this is probably gentleman out of his wits," he chuckles because they have known each other sadisticly, "We had a great time doing since childhood. According to Tolhurst: that video." "We met on the school bus, actually, After having this success and wide ex when we were about five. It's probably posure did it put extra pressure on the the reason the band has lasted so long - band to produce a hit album with 'The wc know each other inside out". Top'? "We grew up as friends and we be According to Tolhurst, not really be came interested in music about the same cause the band has always maintained lime." strong control over its music. Of course, And when was this? they do get pressured by the record com "It was about the time that jimi Hcn- pany who naturally aren't in it for the art. drix had died, someone came up to me at "A lot of bands allow themselves to be school and tried to sell me a duff copy of pushed around. We try to be firm about a Hendrix bootleg. Robert and I decided it. You have to be happy with what you we'd go off and buy the real thing rather put out. We were happy with "The Top". than the stuffed bootleg. It began there Of course, it's not perfect, but that's what really." keeps you going for the next album. Your Listening to Lol Tolhurst speak it favourite album is always the next one. comes across that 'Robert Smith seems to As soon as you produce an album you're be the motivating force, the decision-ma 100% happy with you'd probably have to ker of the band as well as being the out stop." standing personality. "Writing the songs can be quite painful. "Most people seem to think we must With Robert it depends more on whether have a lot of fights because of Robert be he's on an "up" or a "down" phase. After ing the focus of attention. That's rubbish! recording it takes about a month before Robert comes across as the leading persona we can go near an album again. All you lity because, I suppose, he is. Someone really want to do is go home and sleep." has to be the decision-maker or the band would never get anything done." "When we get back to England in mid- Consolation prizes drawn daily As well as being heavily involved in November we'll be recording again, and the Cure, Robert Smith is also involved in take it from there. We don't make plans Glove and was until recently a member of really." Free ticket with every Petrol Souxie and the Banshies. Every time he When asked what he thought of the fu became involved in a new project the mu ture of music, Tolhurst looked towards sic press would run off declaring that the the sky and said, "I'd say we're heading or Super Shop purchase end of the Cure was nigh. towards another dark ages in England. We "People are so narrow in their concept need another drastic change like in 1977. of what a band should be!" Tolhurst points Mind you, America has never got out of from AIVIOCO/BP, St Lucia out. "They really only end up restricting the dark ages. When we were over there themselves." this year i saw bands that 1 was sure died (cnr Brisbane & Benson Sts) He claims that the current line-up of 10 years ago. I don't know - it's hard to the band is permanent only until some say what will happen. It's what keeps you Competition opens Thursday November 1 one wants to change. going, really." and closes at 11am on Saturday December 15 Drawn at 12 noon,(December 15) 20 unters and Collectors have always existed as an uncertain phenomenon; an entity to be associated with change Band evolution in terms of cpntemporary Australian music. Here, BRENDEN LONG discusses with Paul Crosby of H&C their new album. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiJiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiH^ Hunters and Collectors, like the Why? Birthday Party and the Models, Well, we're much happier with things have very much created a world of at the moment. Things have changed their own, which exists along terms since last year. . . Last year we had fric tion within the band, and now we've indifferent to the "Top 40" syn changed our lineup, with two members drome. For the Birthday Party, their leaving for America (Greg Pcrano - per Would you consider yourselves more of a world was a menagerie of feverish cussion; Martin Lubran - guitar). Yes, I'd The promotion makes out that I designed live band, rather than recording artists? ntuscial violence, coupled with Nicl«; say that it's a true reflection of the band the record cover to be centred around Our record sales haven't done all that Cave's lyrical self-crucifixion. The at present. this idea.. . that I took the cover photos well - the last two albums and ihe EP's Models, on the other hand, formul and the band planned the album specifi didn't sell that well but wc were able to ated their own musical anarchy, You still seem to maintain your indiffer cally around this concept. What happen get a large following performing live. Yes, fused with loose elements of funk, ence to the so-called conventional struc ed was I had come back from America I'd see us as more of a live band, rather pop and soul, and married it to ture of music (the verse-chorus-verse-cho and went for a holiday in the Northern than recording artists, Sean Kelly's agonised vocals. rus-solo, and so on, form). What attitude Territory. While 1 was there 1 took the We've never really worked out songs do you have to the structure of your songs? cover photos, bul not specifically with this specifically for record before, until now. I wouldn't say that wc have an attitude in mind. . . One song on the album, "42 Usually we'd play them live for a while Hunters and Collectors fulfill this un to music as such. .. When we get together Wheels", is certainly concerned with this before recording them, but this lime certain tradition, giving birth to a primi lo write songs, some of the members give incident, but the rest are really about round we took time out and worked out tive, raw musical environment occupied an idea of what they've thought up, and Outback life - living in the dust, the the songs in the studio. by the cynical social observations of Mark we just add to this, and work on it until drought, the troubles, the want to get "The Fireman's Curse" was an album that Seymour. However, true to the primal we like what we've got. We play these in away, to escape.. certainly had a live feel, while the new overtones suggested by their name, this our set for a while, and drop others while This next question is a two-part question: one seems to be more of a studio job. we add in some new numbers. . . There's world is one which is continually chang What are your feelings towards the Aus With "The Fireman's Curse" we spent no pian or set attitude as such. ing. tralian musicindustry both as contributors, a lot of lime mixing the tracks, spending Since arising out of the Melbourne You're very much a spontaneous band and in comparison to your experience of about 1-2 days mixing one track, while scene in 1981 with their distinctive brand then? the British scene? on the new album, 'The Jaws of Life", of "primal rock", Hunters and Collectors Yeah... We're quite happy with the industry at we rushed through the whole thing. We'd have detracted from a dancefloor orien the moment, as we feel more like a part end up doing about 2 tracks every day. tation to a more emotive, evil approach, of it now. . . The Australian industry is Some of the tracks on this album defini Lyrically your songs are still the same. culminating in last year's release, "The pretty advantageous to bands like our tely have an underproduced feel. Renee Mark's lyrics seem to have a harsh, cold Fireman's Curse". In 1984 they have selves, who don't do particularly well Tinner recorded the studio tapes for us, view of humanity, for example, "42 once again surfaced, with a new album, with record sales, bul record a song and and then we mixed ihe tapes at Conny Wheels" and "Junket Head", to a les "The Jaws of Life", and a new sound. then go on the road to promote it al live Plank's studio. ser, comical extent... So what to expect from Hunters and gigs, which is why we didn't like Britain I wouldn't say that all of Mark's ly I was first attractfd to H & C by the Collectors now? Speaking to Geoff Crosby much. Wc arrived with this attitude in rics are cold and harsh. I know that Mark "Talking to a Stranger" clip, which set (keyboards, artwork) on the phone from Britain, but it just didn't work out like is sometimes cynical, and that his lyrics a standard to expect from H & C visually. Sydney, it was with some trepidation that that, .. The only way to get a following are sometimes cynical,butallofthcmaren't How do you translate your music into 1 ventured into the jaws of life of their in Britain is to be signed to a large label, necessarily cold or harsh. On the new al visuals? new breed. and have them promote your record lar bum they're certainly much happier, The first 2 clips, for "Talking to a gely, giving it large airplay, and so on. About your new album, "The Jaws of more personal... Stranger" and "Lumps of Lead", were Life": Musically, I fourtd it to be a much In other words, people wouldn't come directed by Richard Lowenstcin, so they Onto "The Jaws of Life"; the central happier album, in comparison to past re along to see you live unless they had al were very much his own thing. The other leases such as "The Fireman's Curse". concept appears to be the semi-trailer two, ("Judas Sheep", "Betty's Worry or incident in Alice Springs last year... ready heard some of your recorded ma Would you say that this is a true reflec terial. the Slab"), were made by myself. With tion of the band at present? That's something that the record com the clip for the latest single, I iried to pany seems to make out in its promotion. That's right, that's why it's so much Yes (laughs) belter for us in Australia. stick to a more conventional set-up, but the way it's put together still makes it different. How much emphasis do you place on visuals and images in your music? I regard the visuals as being secondary to the music because, after all, what we're concerned with is the music'and making h. What can we expect from H & C live on Friday night? The sel will be made up of material from the new album, plus some new songs, which we've written since record ing the album, and these also point to a different direction... They're longer, and show something else different... Wc won't be playing any "old favourites" be cause wc don'i like them all that much now, (we have changed, after all), and also they'd be harder to do with two members gone.... HUNTERS AND COU-ECTORS 21 LITERARY SECTION ^Htn<>duciHf a!7K€tjoftPo€t Not many people arc familiar with Derek Webb's sonnet-cycle: The Reflections of a Road Warrior'. It poetry. Webb himself has trouble remembering Was even suggested that Webb would forsake poetry al more than two or three lines from his collected together for a career in film. However Webb disinissed works. Nevertheless it is my firm conviction that 22 LITERARY SECTION Paraphilia in Gotham Qty by Andrew Liggett Day was just dawning through the ragged curtains of the palatial burnt-out tenement of skidrow millionaire Bruce Wayne, deep within the smog zone, when his sleep was rudely cut short by the familiar broncliitic cough of Alfred, the faithful butler, who had been beating himself about the back and shoulders with a bizarrely curved piece of 4x2 in an extravagant attempt to wake his master. "The Batphone, sir!" spluttered Alfred, scarcely pau sing for breath. A groggy Wayne groped towards the cof fee table, running his fingers over the sliiny red plastic, searching vainly for the receiver. With a little assistance from the faithful Alfred, he raised the mouthpiece to his lips. "Hello, Batman, Police Commissioner Lewis speaking." The quivering voice betrayed emotion. "It's Lech Luthor - the incredible flagpole fiend.He' s been spotted by an informant who calls himself King Kong, crawling with malicious intent - first through the main lecture theatre of the Herston medical school during a slide show on forensic pathology - and then later up the sh'eer face of the Queensland State Executive Building. We've got Kong, who was actually piggybacking the httle pervert, but Luthor slipped away through an open eleventh storey window." "Ahhso! The incredible a-flagpole fiendl" rejoined Bruce, in stark contrast to his nonoriental media image, Batoculars to lus Bateyes and scanned the face of the to troying the enthe offices of the Queensland Government "Will be tliere right away, honourable Commissioner." wer from top to bottom, or - for the sake of a more ac Printer. An irate muscle bound figurelighte d upright on Dropping the receiver, Bruce turned and spat out his curate account - from bottom to top. Stefan's House of the pavement, still glowing from the heat of re-entry. false teeth. He sat for a moment staring at the mirror of Kitsch stood out crisply in the background field of the Superman lifted himself from his two metre deep land the bedside duchess, trying hard to look inscrutable. Fail South bank. Avariciously, the Boy Wonder's gaze fell on ing crater, cast aside his bridally clad Lois Lane burden, ing miserably, he collapsed into a pile of writhing nausea the window bo.xes full of small tomatolike plants outside and promptly began to beat hell out of the Dyramic beside the bed, just managing to bump a button on the the rooftop penthouse. His eyes returned to rest on the Duo, who at least retained the presence of mind to make wail on the way down. She was a very ugly duchess - a Queensland flag proudly wavmg between the Star-span a fuiiousattemptalinflatingtheirBat -"Zain!" -"Wapl" grotesquely distasteful form of decoration. gled Banner and the Rising Sun near the top of the Exe - "Pow!" - and - "Poof!" - balloons and so managed The Boy Wonder, sleeping ready in his red tights, cutive Building. Something was wrong. to ward off some of the blows. Despite all the patience burst through the door in answer to his comrade's sum "Great holy fishnet scuba gear. Batman!" shouted of Krypton, this last intrustion had finally caused the mons. Assessing the situation at a glance, he threw him Robin al twice the necessary volume as he handed over Man of Steel to crack along the solder line. Lech Luthor self at the dowager and they locked together in a gargan tlie Batoculars, The Caped Crusader paused a moment - his old archenemy - brought in grovelling and snivel tuan struggle. Seconds later, order was restored with the to twiddle with the Batfocus. The image sharpened to re ling by Batman and Robin! This was the puncliline to a duchess sitting trussed in knotted bed clothes balling in veal the fiagpole oscilating furiously back and forth thr badtastejoke. the corner as the Dynamic Duo disappeared down the ough forty five degrees. A sinister black figure crouched, .Meanwhile, on a nearby second storey balcony lurked Batpole, leaving faitliful Alfred to his solitary flagellation. wrapped around the base, pretentiously staking his claim notorious Queensland special Branch Public Relations "Great Holy rubber underwear!" exclaimed Robin as to land rights. Officer, Clerk Kant and his sidekick, notorious Daily Batman briefed him on the recent macabre happenings. "Quick, Robin - the Batrope!" The Boy Wonder fum Pun gossip columnist Perry Wimp, making a complete Bruce, tired of playing Chinese games, had donned the bled in Ws utility belt and then began to feed the strong photographic record of the horrendous happenings. gear of the righteous crusader - the nemesis of the Aust light cord to his caped comrade, who deftly secured one As a Gotham City cleaning truck scraped and sprayed ralian Independence Movement, the Doctor's Reform end to the left wing of the Batboomerang. With a flick away the last remains of Batman and Robin, Superman Society, The Paddington People For Nuclear Disarma of his wrist, the projectile was sent spinning up thirteen with Lois in his arms raced the Japoon Airlines honey ment and the entire Gotham City underworld - and re stories past the offices of the Lady Bjelke-Petersen Cha moon night towards its Central Queesland coastline de sumed at least for the moment, his laconic all-American ritable Fund to catch the obliviously preoccupied Lech stination, unaware tliat its niailbags contained a scanda manner. The dynamic duo snacked on Batrationpaks as and hook around his extra Y-chroniosome. lous blackmail demand, complete whh colour prints in the Batmobile sped towards the scene of the dastardly blow-up poster size, soon to arrive at the Fortress of liappenings locked on Batautocontrol. Before the cord had even time to spontaneously Bat- Solitude. Seconds later, the pulsing black machine screeched to knot the hapless Luthor to the object of his bondage, A grateful Lech Luthor remained bound by the Bat- a halt outside the ominous tower of the Queensland State the stillness was disrupted by nearby sonic booming. The rope to the quivering flagpole. Executive Building, leaving a long trail of rubber snaking Administration Building tottered and fell, narrowly mis off down George Street towards QIT. Robin raised the sing Batman and instead crushing five taxi cabs and des alma mater dead'Cnd campus, strangled by the river's muddy hold; no left-bank here, no reply to the suburban fold truth is landscaped, orderly its buds accommodate the predictable, yearly natives learn to update paradise, amidst such bliss the world is ignorance, its signs have no business growing here, relevance is weed, days pass, now and then a book e.xplodes, but soon its outburst feeds the fountain of the staff club lagoon. tenured seasons' whims dictate the innocence they lost: the ferry is always late, low tide cannot he crossed. manfred jurgensen 23 TRAVEL Mr Ridge^s Roman Hblklay cans. One American tourist stopped me in the street to The Alitalia 747 touched down at Rome's Da ask where he might find a good Chinese restaurant. I had Vinci Airport on a hot and humid summer morn to laugh at the thought of this guy who'd come all the ing. As soon as it was clear that we'd made a way to Italy and then decided to eat Chinese. safe landing all four hundred passengers broke If the Americans were occasionally amusing, the into a wild round of applause. (The same thing Italians were downright entertaining. I would sit for had happened every time we'd made a safe take houis just watching the antics of the infamous Roman off or landing en route.) When in Rome, etc - traffic. Most entertauiing of all were the kids who went so I joined in this unique Italian custom of scooting about the streets on their Vespas and Lambret- applauding safe pilotry. I wasn't even off the tas, pulling all sorts of daredevil stunts in their exuberant plane, and already I felt like I'd landed in the efforts to outdo one another. Rome is the only place middle of one of Frederico Fellini's offbeat I've ever seen a scooter-rider perform, simuUaneously, a wheelstand and a 180-degree turn, while carrying a pillion films. passenger, and all of this in downtown rush-hour traffic. I collected my baggage and passed through customs. On Sundays the only things open in Rome are the Then suddenly it struck me - I was in Italy and 1 stieetstalls and the churches. As I'm not much given to didn't speak Italian. patronising either 1 decided on a day-trip to Capri when 'Need a taxi?' someone asked. Sunday came along. 'Sure,' I said, relieved to hear an English-speaking I took a bus from Rome to Naples and there boarded voice. the Capri ferry. It was an uneventful crossing until it A curly-headed Italian in his mid-forties took my came time to dock at Capri. Then, as the ferry was back suitcase and threw it in the boot of his battered white ing up to the pier, all hell broke loose. Sirens began wail Mercedes. ing, sailors ran frantically to and fro, and a voice came 'Where to?' he smiled. screaming over the shipboard P.A.: 'Alt, ah! Basta!' 'I need a hotel in Rome. Know any good ones?' ('Stop, stop! Enough!') 'Sure,' he said. 'Hotel Traiano. It's a good hotel - I wondered what all the commotion could be downtown, cheap,' about and then suddenly I knew. There was a huge As il turned out the Hotel Traiano was indeed down town, but it was neither good nor cheap. I suspect the jolt as the giant ferry crashed into the pier, and I had to taxidriver and the hotePs owner were cousins. grab a nearby railing to keep from falling over. Some of Still, the Traiano was nicely located - only minutes' my fellow passengers weren't lucky enough to have a walk from the Colisseum, and even closer to the Roman railing to grab onto and several were thrown overboard Forum and the Capitoline Hill. A half hour's walk got while many more were sent sprawling about the ship. All me to the Vatican. in all, a good number of people spent theh day on Capri My room was on the fourth floor. Right next door sitting in the local infirmary while a doctor attended to were a group of Arabs who were given to holding dusk- their injuries and a friendly local had their clothes dried to-dawn parlies, complete with lusty, abandoned singing out. and musical accompaniment provided by drums and Fortunately I was able to survive my trip to Capri strange stringed instruments. It wasn't just the excitement unscathed, and that night I was safely back in Rome of being in Rome that kept me awake nights during my packing my bags for my flight to Venice the next morn stay at the Traiano. ing. The Arabs and I weren't the only foreigners in Rome. But Venice is another story. In summer the city is full of tourists, particularly Ameri KIERAN RIDGE CAMPUS TRAVEL TRAVELDEALS CRUISE Just the holiday to celebrate a graduation or tliat tast fling before settling down lo the grind of a new job, or just if you feel like getting away from it all. In conjunction with Sitmar Cruises, we will take you on ttic trip of a lifetime, visiting such exotic ports as Noumea, Mystery Island, Vila and the Havana-Boulari Passage. Enjoy the luxury of cruising the Pacific on literally a floating city. Your ship includes several swimming pools, a large variety of on-deck sports, and a bar around every comer - or, if you are too lazy to get up, the friendly staff at>oanl will cater to your every need. Taste the unique culture of the Pacific, from lazy days in the sun, to the bright lighti of the evening. We have a special student package leaving on February 13th, 1985, but, if you wish to travel at another time, that can be arranged. Don't vnisi the boat - book eariy. Departure ex-Sydney. INCLUDES - *A ccommodation - cabin-style * All meals * Services of experienced crew * Stopovers as mentioned * Remember- all your drinks are DUTY FREE 10 days'^ from $565 CAMPUS TRAVEL Ground Floor, Union BuUding University of Queensland Phone 371 2433 - 371 2163 or 377 2925 26 When it comes to exciting travel, there would be few places to match Central America and, in particular, Guatemala. LOIS PORTO recently travelled through that country while on his Uni versity vacation. The ceiling fans workingatfullspccd, from the window of a bus. The high cffi- did little to dispel the oppressive ccncy of the transport system made the Costa Rican heat. A table for four continuous connections possible. For us, seated nine, and, as the night pro the system only broke down after our gressed, more joined in. arrival in Oaxca, a city in the south, A fat, moustachioed Mexican, with an air Few would admit that the best part of of enormous sacrifice, iviformed us that travelling is talking with other travellers. there were no seals on the next bus and However, much lip service was paid to that we would have to wait until the mingling with people. Alcohol made the next day. cosmopolitan congregation less self-con Walking resignedly to what bec.ime scious, more poetic, "j loved Guatemala. our hotel, the beauty of this city, which, I don't know, ihc markets, the lakes, the in our manic drive to get through Mexico Indians .. ." said a spoilt American girl would have been ignored, slowly lifted with a radiant smile. "No, it is not that," our dov/ncasl eyes. We cancelled plans for claimed an aristocratic looking German leaving in the morning. who reminded mc of a Dobcrman, "It is After a much needed shower, in an an the colonial architecture and the sense of cient water heating apparatus fuelled by history it exudes..." firewood, we went off lo dinner al one of When ever the talk threatened to drift the many outdoor restaurants around the to places not yet visited, Mark, ihc English Central Square. The strong cups of coffee, friend I went to school with in Australia, fine weather, animated life and the pros changed the subject to the recent past. I pect of staying for a few days in this place was glad, That way j could participate had an intoxicating effect. The best thing and avoid the envy | felt towards those lo do in Oaxaca, according to our guide whose pocket and whose time allowed book, was to sit in a cafe and watch life them lo travel on to South America. For go by. It appeared like a criticism, till wc Mark and I, only a few days were left. sat and watched. Soon we would be back in Australia, There were many travellers, and it was working, studying.... not long before the group's growth made Three months earlier, with all the the rc-arrangcmcnt of tables and chairs props of the austere traveller and much inevitable, an action which produced enthusiasm, we flew to Los Angeles, in angry glances from the overworked, lowly where the best {and cheapest) restaurants such a irip, pointing oui that nothing tending to cross Mexico by land and so paid embittered waitresses. These conver were; how lo deal with the astute sellers could be guaranteed. The Mexican papers reach Guatemala. Neither of us were in sations were not only enjoyable, but use of arts and crafts; how to set about climb were full of gory pictures, reports and terested in staying long in Mexico. We fell ful. Those who had been in Oaxaca for ing up to Monte Alban,an amazing Indian criticism levelled at the Guatemalan happy enough to absorb what we could some time provided a lot ol information; City on the top of an artificially flattened Government's brutality. A Guatemalan mountain. consulate official, a diminutive, rather Inevitably the conversation would comical looking man whom we concer turn anecdotal. Everyone but Mark had nedly questioned about the war, knitted been a victim of the dreaded Montc/uma's his brows, perplexed, as if to say "what revenge. So each took turn to tell how war?" Adopting a martial demeanour, he close they came to not making it lo the solemnly declared "The military is in full nearest relief facility. A real Barry McKen- control ... The Mexican papers lie in or /.k style Australian, giant jar of vegemite der lo conceal their own internal prob and all, had no difficulty in beating an lems." Italian who had defecated upon himself, by adding that not only had he suffered Most of our acquaintances decided not the same fate, but he had been forced to lo go. Some opted for spending the rest remain in that condition for two hours. of their lime in Mexico; others went to Mark, unable to provide a similar anec Belize, taking a ship to Honduras, and so dote, distinguished himself nevertheless bypassed Guatemala; the rest, disillusioned by boasting thai he had always been en by the whole thing, flew over Central dowed with a strong stomach, and pro America, and straight on loSouih America. bably for that reason had been spared. My mind had already been made up by Minutes later he was staring thoughtfully the accumulation of many dreams, which al his own stomach. could not be altered by reason. In the following days wc talked more Tapachula's bus terminal was hot and and more about the political situation in dirty, the staff corrupt and openly hostile. Guatemala. Guerrilla warfare had been a Though the fare rates were clearly dis part of that country's way of life for played, officials were charging more. many years. Bul recently it had intensi When asked about the extra cost, no fied considerably, resulting in a sharp de reply was given - not even the slightest cline in tourism, an important source of indication that they had been spoken to. revenue. It was as if you did not exist; you felt like Since most of the travellers, ourselves a character in a Kafka novel. included, intended lo go there, wc were keen for whatever information wc could By this stage we had already formed a gel. Hopes would be raised one day by small group of travellers, having in com someone who had been to Guatemala, mon not only our foreignness, but also and who reported that there was no rea the experience of wailing hours for a bus son nol lo go, bul would be dashed the that never came. next by someone else who had been for Even at the very border, signs that all 9 ced to leave in a hurry because of thcsitua- was not well were easily detectable. Sol tion. All the embassies advised against diers held submachine guns with that air 27 TRAVEL ingsofthe central square were a testimony as if ihc question was not to satisfy his to the importance of this city in Colonial continued curiosity, but was some sort of private times. The houses were not museurns to joke. please tourist expectations of authenticity. Wc knew wc had ascended considerably, Guatemala Ordinary people lived in those houses. from ihe cold and from the sighl of ihe Children could be heard playing on the of alertness and expectancy not found in walking ihe capital's streets, seeing those nearby capital, Guatemala City, which ubiquitous patios; a teenage girl coquet- places where strict discipline has been things that tourists sec in such places. more and more resembled an aerial pic whittled away because nothing ever hap There was nothing remarkable, so in the ture. Political graffilli written on trees, tishly held a massive wooden door open pens. A picture depicting exploding dyna afternoon we left for Antigua. rocks, vvalts and fences added further in by her extended arm while her boyfriend mite which graced the cover of a trashy The bus manufacturer's recommenda terest to the already picturesque scenery. pleaded for forgiveness, allowing us lo see within as an Indian maid industrially novel led lo ihe book's confiscation. "We tions "Maximum passengers: 40 scaled, The very outskirts of Antigua awake prepared dinner. understand that there is nothing harmful 10 standing" could be seen over the heads ned mc from the stupor of the uncomfor in that novel", said a sympathetic custom ot a mass of people that could easily have table trip. The bus slowed down to move The bus came to a stop beside the official. "Bul Ihcy furlhcr down may nol numbered 100. It could nol clearly be de along the "arrow, cobblestoned streets. markets. It was difficult for the passen . . ," He was rcfcrrin;^ lo ihc soldiers who termined who was standing and who was Vou half expected to find a watcrwhcel. gers to get out, as a group of screaming stopped and searched buses and other silting, a great number being in various I fell da Sydhcy 7289111. Melbourne 7639444, Brisbane 343 9144. Adelaide 294 7166, Perth 277 7477. Canberra 805 288. continued 28 TRAVEL al! huddled together, lying on the ground, to be. It is a hurdle that many, trying to every inch of it covered with bodies. The learn the language, find difficult lo get agua ardiente (local type of bacardi) and over. A fellow from Trinidad arrived sob Guatemala wine brought to keep us warm are unneces bing like a child. Wc fell paralysed by the sary, but are consumed nonetheless. from Uruguay. 1 was struggling lo learn a appearance, everyone looked, but no one Mark, who had taken a day off from Shivering early in the morning we new language in a new place. For him, the made any move to talk to him. His room school, we received the first strong fright. climb the walls surrounding the crater to ordeal was made much lighter by the mate came out and it took some time to We had walked to Santa Maria de jcsus, see the reputedly magnificent sunrise. status of "tourist" and not thai of "mi work out what had happened as he could some five kilometres from Antigua, and The sun's appearance was greeted with not stop crying. grant" (a distinction I painfully and clearly when we arrived there, the streets were excited laughter, embraces, exclamations became aware of, in only the first few He had gone alone to ChichicastcnanKO. deserted. We heard a voice coming from a and a voracious lust to lake pictures. Day days after my arrival). an Indian village, high up in the mountains, loudspeaker, but could not make out light illuminated the crater, revealing two what was being said. We walked upon famous for h$ colourfii] markets and The cafe 1 went to in the mornings for goal posts. Would anyone hike up to it the main street, and seeing civilians hold Church, where both paganism and Chris breakfast offered newspapers and maga and then have a game of soccer? Or was il zines. Accounts of the fighting and photos ing submachineguns, wc panicked and tianity were practiced. It is in these moun placed there for comic effect? tainous areas that most of the fighting of its results filled the first few pages of nearly started running. We had heard The descent was more arduous than takes place, and the highest concentration all the papers: a power station dynamited, how guerrillas would "collect taxes" expected. Il took four hours, one Iwur of soldiers is to be found. causing a blackout in the eastern region; from travellers, by stealing their money and possessions, and severely admonish less than the ascent, and the exhaustion On his way back, at a checking point, heavy trucks placed across a major high- of muscles which we managed to avoid in svay as obstacles, creating traffic chaos ing them as well, for supporting the two soldiers took him out of the bus and tourist industry. But the appearance of the first climb. In the next few days, into a hui, where two more soldiers were for a few hours; a clash between the army those who had been lo the volcano could and guerrilleros; people kidnapped by un these men who looked anything but waiting. They accused him of murdering be distinguished from other people, even someone, they told him they were going known persons; the discovery of a mass friendly, created a palpable fear. Wc at a distance, by a ducklike walk. Some 10 kill him there and then. They placed grave containing bodies which showed feigned an intense interest in the local fell very sick and had to seek medical two submachineguns, one on each cheek. signs of torture; the chief of detectives church, and they must have thought attention. Back at the hotel, or pensiones He was robbed of ninety dollars, and surviving his eighth assassination attempt, we found it terribly disappointing, for wc walked out immediately and quickly as the more plebeian lodging houses are after some rough treatment, was allowed (although his family did nol) and leaving known, the owner, Miguel Angel, a short, to go, with the warning lo leave the coun the country in a wheelchair, a paraplegic. went back to Antigua. Tourist officials laughingly informed us that those men, lively Guatemalan, told us he was worried, try immediately. He complied with their While Mark attended Spanish classes, who stood on rooftops and scanned the as there was a clash between an army unit last demand, packed up that night and I took walks to the neighbouring villages, area around, were lo protect the politi and guerrillas. Wc heard nothing. left in the morning. For those who know all of which were solemnly named after cians who were campaigning for the ncxi Two days later, while wc were in the what the Guatemalan army is capable of some saint or other. Unpaved roads led to election! courtyard discussing the differences be doing to those considered undesirable, his them over hills and mountains. Most of tween "esiar" and "ser", the Spanish verb decision was understandable. the time there were no cars, and the rare Every famous tourist resort has certain appearance of one disrupted the magic "attractions" whidh must be seen. Antigua silence that reigned all around. Once it had the local Indian market, the Central passed, a trail of dust remained with you, museum, the cathedrals, the religious pro settling down only as the sound of the cessions ... Volcano Aguas is nol actually engine faded. That incongruity, the motor in Antigua; it is separated by six kilo vehicle, destroyed for a moment my ro metres of pulverulent uphill road. But its mantic dreams of the pastoral past. This reverent presence, with its enchanting land as h must have been prior to the in blucish-purplc haze, is so overwhelming dustrial revolution. But for that, nothing that il seems to form an inextricable part seemed to have changed since colonial of it. Everyone who visited this city, days. hiked to its top. A family of Indians, dressed in their A group of six, including a German colourful clothes, appeared from behind couple, two French girls, Mark and my a hill, father first, mother second and self, left early on a Saturday afternoon. then the children (the last one silting on a We intended to reach the crater before grey, sullen donkey). Each in turn uttered sunset. Different walking paces quickly their "Buenas tardes", demonstrating the destroyed the idea of keeping the group importance these people attach to good together. We had agreedlothisbeforehand, manners. Well, some of the children in order to belter protect ourselves from couldn't repress the giggles that an adult thieves, who were said to live on the vol gringo in shorts produces. This is not cano and rob travellers. only an amusing sight, but illegal, as Our bodies were warmed up by the many foreigners have found out. walk, though il got progressively colder The distance between the scattered as we ascended. The unpaved road, gra mud huts becoming shorter, and the dually, imperceptibly, becomes a mere tolling of bells in the distance, signalled trail, at times Interrupted by the debris of the approach of some important village. past avalanches. As I arrived even the dogs seemed to We wail, with an air of triumph, at the realise I was not a local. Maybe I was top. The slow two who make the hike attaching too much importance to my take longer than anticipated. Soon, with self, and interpreting everything as being the darkness of sunset, our anger towards connected with me. A young Indian girl them is tempered by affection for the provided me with more reliable data: she pragmatic one who suggested bringing a smashed an egg on my head. I enquired, torch. Without this, we would have had with anthropological zest, whether tliishad to camp with no roof, in the freezing any significance, whether something was temperature of the night. Finally, exhau being said or communicated by that act. sted, though with childish exhiliralion, But no one could understand me. For the we reached the crater. The small chapel first time I experienced what the guide we intend to sleep in, is already filled book had warned: many of the Indians with people in various stages of sleep. speak little or no Spanish, but rather their There are a mixture of Guatemalans and own language. gringoes. Half an hour of ingenious sug In one of these walks, this time with gestions and vigorous shuffling, and we're #^/^J^A»>#»»^^l^j^^^^^N^^^MyyK^y^^^^'^><'l#>^>^•^»#y^^^lijtfysy?ft^*5^*^ ^Alliance Typing Service IAN AirCUl/ON t CO. Bundaberg Area na miTi rancaise Wc iire trench, we can't help it! »ACK?ACKlNq But we cun help yoii, may wo? MAIS OUl! Theses and Assignments LEARN FRENCJl WITH THE SPECIALISTS UNIVERStTY Of QUEENSUNO UBBARtES IAMB CAh?lN& ALLIANCE FRANCAISE Confidentiality Assured SUMMER COURSES li.xtcnsiim of Library Hours on Saturdays prior to cvaiiunatiom wUf Commencing 26\h Novemtiet Contact: Lyn IVloore -Weekly Ffench Courses: All levels- take place in ihc following libraries: —Intensive French Courses for refreshers- UNDERGRADUATE LIBRARY 42 DOUGLAS ST., -Daytime or Evcning- 21 Bathurst Street. Ellititt HeatJs 9 am to Spm Saturday 27/10/84 Furthar Information pti 221 7957 or 38 5320 Telephone 071-796261 MILTON ALLIANCE FRANCAISE BOOKSHOP 3/11/84 10/11/84 PHONE 369 0965 15I tloor 191 George Street Brisbane 17/11/84 ... the only QLD Bookshop specialising in LAW LIBRARY PLU/-- French books. Records, Cassettes and Posters itHu-.m/'iMmo^'imfKi-ui- Open Mon - Thurs 10,30am - 2pm. 3 - 5pm 9am to Spm MOTOR CYCLE TOURING EQUIPMENT Friday 10.30am • 2pm, 4 - 8pm Saturday ' 27/10/84 AND GENERAt ACCESSORIES Saturday lOom- 1pm 3/11/84 Mail order service available On otltcr days library luiuts will Catalogues on request tuinuin us ut prcsuiil 29 J* *T*L*A*Gbag" it, which has nothing whatsoeve r to For many people, getting off a jet after a long flight Is somewhat akin to because the caffeine gives you the illusion of a longer day." do with take-off or turbulence. This re sitting through a three hour session of EC134. That is, It isn't the most plea fers to taking along your own gourmet sant sensation in the world but Semper (with a little help from JULIE In addition to sending your dietary habits completely haywire, Dr, Enret sug fare, such as pates and pastries, in prefe WHITE) are coming to the rescue with this article we stole from another gests you do the same with your normal rence to the usual meals on the plane. paper. behaviour. And what could be better to add to your Therefore, on boarding the plane, culinary contentment than wine or spirits? you should not onJy. adjust ypijr Watch But Mr. Kowet warns against too ,, but also your actions to^th&'tlrne of desti- much alcohol, suggesting instead fruit jylce and water to compensate for dehy- It's your first overseas flight. You acknowledged as the expert in this field. % nation. , •..../.•{>l^f''-i^lf^;^~(i •dration. go through the sensation of stretch Firstly, Dr. Ehret sets out the problem \ iFor example, if it Is ntght ^here you ; / "Assume two drinks on the plane are ing one more time before boarding ,, :|n no uncertain terms. He states that jet- i are headed, you pughttd'forg'et the din- your plane, and then it's off. ^I^t^,,: -^ .lag-;is caused by the disruption of the nerand the movie (often theliighrightyo^ |ft least as potent as threeontheground," A smiling hostess pantJers tO:7)^0Uif-'*:;^ Sqdy's rhythmic functioning. Hence, his the trip) and rest; ar " ; you \don'.L h^^ ^^V^- every need, and you're feeling on'tbp'^^qf .• sbjutlon'is tO'adjust our diets and beha- '-• ^''^Sa.*. St. Undoubtedly, for some, this is incentive the world as you near your destination.' vfb'tir patterns in order to reset our "bio to race down to Campus Travel But then, just v/hen you thought you had logical clocks". an the upcoming vaction, jet-lag or Dr. Ehrethas devised a world traveller's active (probably more so in .the setisei||^^ no jet-lag. reached new heights in enjoyment, the aforementioned diet (which could become known as the mental activity than physical:exertiori);'^;!7 In the event of the jet-lag syndrome brings you back down resort to an arti E-plan.diet) that is based on alternating, Don Kowet^booKowefs bookk" outlineoutliness IDr . EHreB" methods failing, you can to earth. cle in "Vogue" (December, 1982) which For those who have suffered the trau between fasting and feasting. plan but adds some practical tips of his attributes fatigue to last-minute rushing mas of this well-known but little-resear own for alleviating tlie discomfort, of Therefore, according to "The Age" and carrying oversized bags. ched phenomenon, and for those who are plane trips. which reviewed "Overcoming jet Lag", The magazine gives details of 10 exer yet to experience it, there are now two you will either be "eating low-calorie However, he initially points out that'if authoritative books on the subject. you are going to travel halfway around cises recommended by American Airlines and low-carbohydrate foods sparingly that you can do in your seat. From the United States, not surpris or gorging on protein-rich and high-car the world, every time zone crossed in If neighbouring passengers haven't ingly, comes "The Jet-Lag Book" by Don bohydrate foods," creases the intensity of the jet-lag. The Kowet, a former airline reservations clerk, good news is that Mr. Kowet emphasizes asked to be shifted previously as you and "Overcoming Jet Lag" by Dr. Charles "The Age" says: "Oneastbound flights, that when travelling from north to south, gulped down coffee, tucked into your Ehret, a chronobiologist from Chicago, Dr. Ehret recommends you avoid caffeine as migrating birds do, there Is no differ brown bag and then remained motionless who wrote his book with Lynne Waller beverages at breakfast. But once in flight, ence in time zones and hence no jet-lag. during dinner and the movie, this will Scan Ion. you should drink three or four cups of He suggests that you arrive at the air certainly do the trick. The three authors have directed their strong coffee or tea (but without milk or port earlier to lessen the stress of your Then at least you will have more brea attention towards finding the ways and sugar) to speed up your 'internal clock'. journey, and ask for an aisle seat so that thing space in flight, even if you can't means to lessen the discomforts of jet For lengthy westbound flights, you should you can go walkabout on long flights. manage to avoid jet-lag once the plane lag, although Dr. Ehret would seem to be drink a lot of coffee or tea before noon Another idea on the trip is to "brown touches down. necessary to recruit people with admini ments through study in relevant fields; strative and/or executive secretarial skills * to develop decision making skills, initia who can provide support in terms of po tive and the flexibility of approach licy advice, research assistance and office that is required of the executive secre !;• • AfiilVllNlSTRi^tiiiSTilill management. tary or office administrator working as The course recognises the following as part of the management team. The Brisbane College of Advanced, The changing face of administration is integral to the qualification: Education offers a Graduate Dip resulting in a breakdown of traditional * Office Technology; ENTRY REQUIREMENTS: office functions and a fundamental re loma in Administrative Studies * Communication and Human Resource Applicants should normally hold a de thinking of roles within that environ Administration; at the Kedron Park Campus. The gree from a recognised tertiary institution. ment. The impact of technology and the * Conceptual Understanding of Business Applicants who do not hold a degree course takes one year of full-time modern requirements of business have Related Areas. may present documentary evidence of ex study. meant that employers are finding it The course offers graduates from a perience and abilities likely to lead to range of disciplines, a specialisation in successful completion of the course. Prior either executive secretarial or office ad study of business or commercial subjects ministration. This is combined with a is not required for entry to the course. broad business education which encom siuDmmimims pass the impact of technological change EMPLOYMENT PROSPECTS: on organisations. The postgraduate level of the course allows the graduate an alternative path to IN COMMUNITY HEALTH Studies common to both strands are executive level in the business world. NATIONAL CO-ORDINATOR business communication, computing for Employment prospects are good. Gra 1985 administrators, office automation, exe duates of the course would find employ cutive keyboarding. Optional studies may ment: POSITION AVAILABLE be chosen from accounting, a range of Executive Secretarial Strand: Personal Student Initiatives in Community Health (S.I.C.H.) is a National Health and Wel management units, or an executive secre Assistant, Executive/Administrative Secre fare Student Organisation involving students from a wide range of disciplines. tarial specialisation (shorthand, typewri tary; Electorate Secretary; Executive S.I.C.H. works towards improving the training of Health/Welfare students and is ting, word processing). Assistant; Research Assistant. also involved in the broader health and welfare issues within the community. The objectives of the course are: Office Administration Strand: Office If you are interested in these areas and are a student at the time of application * to develop written, interpersonal, and Co-ordinator/Manager; Word Processing then you are eligible to apply. organisational communication skills Supervisor; Administration Officer. that will enable the graduate to func The position of National Co-ordinator is a one year appointment. Further information may be obtained tion effectively as a manager of infor from Ms. Lyn Parsons, Brisbane College S.I.C.H. offices are in Sydney, and single accommodation is available if required. mation; of Advanced Education, Kedron Park DUTIES * to provide a conceptual understanding Road, Kedron, Qld, 4031. Phone (07) * Maintain contact network with students involved across Australia of business disciplines and environ 57 7077. ^ ' * provide information and reports to the student network and a broader range of interested persons * initiate and maintain contact with a diversity of people in health and welfare field. * liasc with Commonwealth Department of Health (our funding body) * participate in health and welfare groups as spokesperson for S.I.C.H. The Brisbane College of Advanced and union organisations. Course activities * co-ordinate support and resource student initiatives, e.g. conferences, and Education offers a Graduate Dip range from industrial relations at the national meetings, loma in Industrial Relations at the workplace to the preparation and presen tation of cases in the conciliation and ar SALARY Kedron Park Campus. This course is available as: bitration tribunals, A substantial part of SI6,417, Clerk Class 2/3 Year 1 Federal Public Service Rate. * a part-time course over four semesters; the course concerns the development of APPLICATION FORMS, FURTHER DETAILS AND BACKGROUND industrial relations policies and strategies. INFORMATION AVAILABLE FROM S.I.C.H. * a full-time course over two semesters. A student who successfully completes The course offers a specialisation in in MAIL LOCATION units totalling 32 hours (80 credit points) dustrial relations to graduates of other shall be eligible to graduate from the S.I.C.H., S.I.C.H. disciplines. There is provision for limited P.O. Box 11, 243 Qeveland Street, course provided no more than two grades entry for persons Without a degree who of3 have been awarded. STRAWBERRY HILLS NSW 2012 Cm. Cleveland and Chalmer Sts. are considered capable of completing the REDFERN 2016 course. Enquiries should be directed to Don OR The course consists of eight units in Lambert, Department of Industrial Re By ringing our office (02) 699 5301 (Reverse charge calls accepted). cluding Industrial Relations Theory and lations, Brisbane College of' Advanced APPLICATIONS CLOSE 31st OCTOBER. 1984. Policy, Industrial Law and Practices. Education, Kedron Park Road, Kedron. These units provide students with know Qld. 4031. Phone (07) 57 7077. ledge and skills required by employers 30 TRAVEL Pauper's Guide to Vacationing Holiday time will find most TEAS students suffering severely from the malnourished wallet syndrome. However this is no excuse for students and other paupers to limit their holiday vistas to the bacltyard nasturtium patch. In this article TIM LOW explains how the enterprising pauper can holiday for as little as the cost of staying at home. It is a curious principle that the ing his clothing. This driver was later more tnoney one spends on a holi booked (and almost assaulted) by police day, the less one relates to the holi for speeding, not carrying a licence, and day environs. Bangkok tourists pay driving with a bald tyre. ing through the nostrils for their air All in all despite risks and limitations, conditioned Hyatt Regency suites, hitching has much to recommend it. For the financial unfortunate, it is the ideal are seeing and smelling less of the way to travel the land of Ocker. city than their counterparts in the greasy Hotel Thai Song Greet. Mo HOW TO HITCH ney insulates. * Always stand where you can be seen by oncoming cars from as far away as This principle applies not only to ac possible. Give them time enough to look commodation but also to mode of travel. you over. And as there are several cost-free means * Stand at a site where it is easy for ve of travel, the roving pauper can be assu hicles to stop. Avoid steep slopes, sharp red of many an exciting holiday. curves and freeways. HITCHING * Don't sit down. Drivers can distin The easiest of all modes of travel is guish between paupers and slobs. the thumb. Yes, in a society where re * On lonely open roads don't stand ward is supposed to be proportional to near thick bushes. This looks suspicious. effort, it is still possible to traverse large * Avoid hitching in urban areas. Drivers (The west has little to offer and is discou- distances at no expense and with little dislike stopping in urban traffic, and may Campsites must be secure from police, raginglyhotanddry). exertion. assume that you only wish to reach an security guards and thugs, and sheltered' The Christmas vacation is ample time from wet weather. Ornamental gardens All that is required are the right atti outer suburb. Try not to get stuck in the for even the slowest cyclist to pedal as far beside high-rise buildings are ideal. These tudes. middle of Newcastle. north as Cairns or as far south as Mel are usually thickly planted with large-leaf Immense patience is a prime prere * Carry a map. If offered a lift to Coo- bourne, although a slow (or fed-up) cyclist shrubs, are invariably sheltered from the quisite. Any seasoned thumb-traveller can mooboolaroo you can then find out where may wish to catch a train or hitchhike rain, and are never searched by the police. relate horrendous tales of ten or twelve it is. home. hour delays on dusty cul-de-sacs. That * Look neat and harmless. Carry a Stay away from popular parks and pre The Bruce Highway north from Bris sinking feeling as dusk descends on the bush-walker's pack for an excellent touch mises patrolled by security guards. Both bane is monotonous until Mackay, after lonely ribbon of bitumen and the stran of authenticity. Always carry something. will be searched during the night. Make which many scenic mountain ranges, na ded traveller nursing his/heraching thumb. A hitchhiker on a lonely highway with no sure you are not seen entering the camp tional parks, offshore islands, and the Also important is a willingness to re luggage looks very, very suspicious. site; do so quietly after attending to Atherton Tablelands (catch a train from late to strangers. Drivers often offer lifts * Don't bother trying to hitch along toiletries in a public convenience. Cairns to Kuranda) provide exciting de out of loneliness, and expect animate country roads unless you're between two For those not equipped to camp, the tours. conversation in return. This may be diffi cities or unless you are female. If the lat Salvation Army provides cheap beds, cult for a traveller stupefied by sleepless ter, consider carrying a knife. The Northern summer is a problem for (free if you are penniless) in Sydney and nights under bridges, but is potentially •Don't travel in large groups. Even a cyclists with days of non-stop rain follow Melbourne. These can be found by asking the highlight of hitching. duo of males is too intimidating for most ed by days ofoppresssive heat.Mosquitoes instructions from derelicts in inner city and floods add to the difficulties and it is parks. Salvo homes are noisy, authorita Drivers have many tales to tell the drivers. impossible to find dry fire wood for cook rian, frightening, and very cold in winter, "cloistered uni student", tales about beat ing. Nonetheless the trip is recommended but offer the cheapest accommodation ing up Vietnamese youths, tales about re BICYCLING for its scenic value. (under $2 and no questions asked) and fugees taking over the country, sexist Of all the available means of transport cheapest (although salty and unnutri- tales about "harpooning the local whale", on land, few offer more satisfaction than The roads south offer little variation tious) meals. The Salvo home in Sydney about marihuana farming and film mak bicycle travel. from eucalypt forest and open pasture. The coastal highway varies less in eleva (64 Foster St.) is also well-placed for tou ing, about rare owls and religious con No other vehicle is graced with such tion and has occasional coastal views. rists; it is close to Central Station, the versions. simplicity and total dependence upon its Food and water are readily available inner city, the museum, and King's Cross. Such conversations can sometimes be operator. No other vehicle is health-pro on eastern highways. more interesting than the holiday destina moting and entirely pollution free. tion, and lead to scenic detours, pretty This is good news for the pauper, as bi Shops and roadhouses are plentiful. little picnics, and lasting friendships. cycles are cheap to purchase, and almost Freshly killed snakes, lizards, bandicoots On the other hand, for the sullen cost-free to operate. and wallabies can be found splattered on introvert the obligations of conversation Any bicycle can be used for long the road. These can be roasted on a fire can become intolerable. Probing ques distance travel, provided the cyclist is after removal of the stomach and intes tions from each new driver about one's willing to accept the limitations im tines, or cooked more imaginatively with destination, occupation, and preoccupa posed by the age and condition of the ma oil and herbs. tions can become very, very tedious. chine. Clean streams are plentiful along the Thumb travel is not for everyone. A cheap, shabby bike may be slow, Queensland coast; even the dry "Horror Hitchhikers should never feel guilty uncomfortable, and likely to break down stretch" between Marlborough and Sarina about getting something for free. It is not irreparably, but it may also offer an other has permanent water every 20km or so. they who are churning around the coun- wise unavailable opportunity to travel... Artltof and a breakdown is not a serious matter. ry-side behind the wheels of polluting, WALKING Msy hitching. non-renewable resource-consuming ve It is usually easy to hitchhike to the near est repair shop or all the way home. A third travel option for paupers is hicles. It is the drivers who should feel walking. The University Bushwalking Club guilty. Hitchhikers are their saviours, as Only a minimal standard of fitness is arranges bushwalks in South East Queens suaging their guilt by sharing responsibi required for the beginning cyclist. Sta land and further afield. These involve tra lity for the squashed wallabies and billow mina can be improved over a couple of vel by car (sometimes train) to the edge HITCHING OUT OF BRISBANE ing sulphur dioxide fumes. weeks of travel by walking up hills and of wilderness areas, followed by bushwal North - Catch a City Council Bus num Hitching has its limitations. It is very pedalling down dales. An unfit cyclist on king along mountain ranges and creeks. ber 172 (Chermsidc) and hitch from the difficult to get lifts in country areas. Ru a shabby bicycle travelling into the wind The club can give advice on all aspects long straight footpaths of Kedron or ral folk feel little obligation to share their can pedal at least 50km a day; a fit cyc of walking and camping, and hires out expensive petrol with vagabonds. There is list on a better machine can achieve more Chermside. equipment. little country hospitality at the roadside. than four times this distance. South on the Pacific Highway - Catch a (This is untrue for Tasmania and New The touring cyclist must carry camp WHERE TO STAY Mt Gravatt bus (numbers 169,189) to Zealand, where hitching is usually easy.) ing equipment, spare parts, tools, food Paupers often have problems finding Garden City and hitch from 100 metres Hitch-hiking has its dangers. For the and water. It is beyond the scope of this cheap accommodation in towns and along the highway. lone female there is the risk of sexual article to deal with each of these topics cities. Caravan parks, youth hostels and South on the New England Highway - assault. This danger has been exaggerated in detail. Salvation Army Homes are inexpensive, take an Ipswich bound train to Dinmore but all can be draining on a limited bud by the popular media and by men in blue, Useful hints can also be gleaned from and hitch from the adjacent Highway. but cannot be disregarded entirely. Un get. The New England Highway has less traffic the quarterly magazine 'Freewheeling', A free alternative, if one has a sleep fortunately the obvious solution, that of available at cycle shops, and the Univer than the Pacific, but lifts are often much ing bag, is inner city camping. Towns and longer. Whatever you do, don't get stuck travelling In groups, is limiting; few cars sity of Queensland Bushwalking Club can cities abound with potential campsites - in Newcastle or the Gold Coast. have the capacity to accommodate two or advise on camping. three extra p'cissengers plus luggage. under hedges, eaves, and buildings, in Good Luck! Rotten drivers are another danger. I WHERE TO GO railway carriages, sports pavilllons and was once travelling in a truck which ran The long-distance cyclist based in Bris disused buildings;and even high clearance off the road while the driver was readjust bane can travel either north or south. parked vehicles. 31 DON'T LOSE ANY SLEEP OVER CAR REPAIRS... For all automotive repairs, see us at — AMPOL TARINGA EAST and rest easy. c * Pbxme Gailey Road TO THE CITY 370 2929 « 32 TRAVEL Nortli to tiie Snowfields If you have the money and none of pics - and is only about 12 to 14 hours the Australian holidays appeal, then train ride from Tokyo and on a different one of the options open is to take island. advantage of the northern hemi- Often a visit to japan is part of a stop spere's ski season. over tour lo help get your "ski legs" en The obvious areas are North America, route to your final destination like Ame Europe and japan. rica or F.urope. For North America, the popular sites One of the most popular venues for arc the numerous resorts in the Rockies, students during the three month Uni especially Utah, Colorado and California, break is Europe, and many decide that according lo ski instructor Guy Canlrcl. they'll combine a skiing holiday into their "The fields arc well developed but the European sojourn, prices are high. The airfare isn't really "The best way lo ski Europe is to take expensive - only about $1,000 -• but a package which includes the open dated once you get there the costs are quite airfare. This allows you lo get into the ski high in the major resorts," he explained. resort and feel your way around. "The best value for money for students there seems to be is the smaller resorts "Then, once you've got your feel, you that arc more central and lower in eleva can go on to other lours or other ski re tion. Resorts in the centre of the United sorts by using a Eurail pass or connecting States and in New York State tend to be tours with your original package," Guy cheaper than those in the obvious areas of explained. companions and then you can keep on turn ticket with an additional option of Colorado and Utah. Guy's company, Ski Fitness and Ad travelling on a tour extension into Austria stopping in Japan on the way back. The "Basically, you get what you pay for. venture, is running a tour of Japan and or Italy or wherever you particularly cost of our version of this style of tour is If you want first rate skiing, then you'll France this year, through Snowbiz, which want logo. just under $2,000. have to pay for that." he said. offers the options of extended skiing "The main advantage that you need "That's probably the best way to be Japan is another option. /\ccording tours. are French speaking escorts, people who gin to ski Europe." he said. to Guy, the best way to do it cheaply is "What we tried to do is get airfares are familiar with the area who can give Other than Guy's trip, some of the re to use one of J AL's packages. with an open dated ticket (for those who you the best the area has to offer. Add itio- commended tour operators are Mogul "If you are on a stop over in Tokyo, want to slay in Europe for up to a year), nally, a package with correction skiing Tours, Ski Austria and Travel Plan. All of you can ski Shiga Heights, which is only skiing at Flaine and Les Arcs in France video and fitness preparation. these have different balances of services about two hours from Tokyo, with the for two weeks because they offer the best "This way, you have been to Japan, and prices. A further option is to go strai express recommendation that you plan value. you've seen Paris and skied some of their ght to London and take one of the pack your stop over in mid week to avoid the "You get used to the skiing condition. fields, you're fit enough from skiing, ages that are offered there locally. crowds. You either learn to ski or improve in you're used lo the language and the local Obviously the booking deadline is near "Sapporro is the most advanced resort those two weeks. You're used to the cul customs, you know your way around a so make it as soon as possible. in japan - it held the 1972 Winter Olym ture and the language, you find travelling bit better and you have a 12 months re FROSTY THE SNOWMAN kind of blissful banality where you seem to be a few steps back from the actions and observing it from some tiiird person viewpoint. Armchair This continues until you begin to realise that you are near the end of your trip and begin to ponder what it was all about and in a moment of blinding insight realise all Travellers that has been said above. BLUE HIGHWAYS: William Least After a space of a month or two, you I did such a trip in 1981 for the three Heat Moon, Picddor. get weary of travelling so that, consciously month Uni break when I went on a work The subtitle of this book is "a Jour or unconsciously, you aren't sufficieiuly ing holiday in North Queensland and al ney into America" which is suitably interested enough to go to the bar down though culture shock was hardly a part apt as a description for the book's the road to meet someone else or go of it, reading Blue Highways is just like along a side road to see what lies at the being back there again. plot. The author was an English lec end. Certainly, what is described is some turer in a mid-western University When you realise this, and take a break thing that you don't cater for when when his job was eliminated around from travelling, you then begin to miss planning a holiday alone for the first the same time as his wife divorced some "base" to your life, which is missing time. Reading this book may help your hiin. because you're never in one place long plans to become more realistic. For that enough to get any more than a superficial alone, it's worth the price. Alone, he decides to buy a small van, feel. At this stage, you begin to fantasise convert it to a camper and go off to find about whoever it is that you're reasonably the REAL America, by following the close to and think how it might liave been THE MIDDLE KINGDOM: Erwin back roads shown as "Blue Highways" on like if you had done things differently - Wickert. Picador. road maps. which is about as useless a form of debate The author of this "view into mo That's all well and good, and the cha as it is possible to find. dern China" was the German Am racters found and described by him are Once past this, you tend to enter a bassador there forseveral years after anyone who was there while il was hap interesting in their own way but what this the death of Mao and this book is pening instead of readuig about it later book achieves really successfully is descri very closely based on his diary of after much more had happened. If the ar bing the processes of travelling alone. minor events rather than attempting gument is used that h was designed to Anyone who is considering travelling to offer any novelistic approach. create a montage impression, my impres any distance alone should get this book in sion is that it did a dismal job. order to better predict the trip on a psy The book gives the promise of under All of these criticisms are applicable to chological basis as well as the more mun standing the people of modern China, as Ihe Middle Kingdom; you know as much dane aspects of finance and destinations. anyone who had been close to the action of the characters as in the average Harold Travelling alone, for whatever reason in the turbulent Gang of Four years like Robbins novel. Then, just as even a re chosen, immediately puts you in a frame an Ambassador would have, must have viewer's determinism to finish a book of mind where there is a strong empltasis picked tip. fades, he turns the opposite direction and to meet new people and to closer explore However in the first few chapters there begins to offer ratlier glib analysis of the any new environment. Travelling with is mostly disappointment in the book as Chinese mentality. someone else, it is easy to get insipidly the author seems to have a myopic view But the problem is immediately appa- shallosv views of any culture as you have thai misses the point entirely. rent that he has gone too far in the other another person who thinks the same way I remember thinking to myself while direction. Whereas I gather the idea of the you do to act as a backup should you reading those chapters that it was "wholly book was to prepare you in Chinese trivi find this new experience less than plea unsatisfying" and likened it to Ex-Prime alities of day to day life for the first half sant, as culture shock often is. Minister Edward Heatli's book "Travels" of it, and then add the detailed explana At first you set a list of sights that you in which he attended the Nuremberg rally tion of the mentality to that base later want to see and proceed lo see them like where Hitler gained a lot of his obvious on, it seems to have been unsuccessful. power but was unable to capture even a any good little tourist. Soon you tire of This may be a very good explanation slice of the real significance of it. He de this as it is a fairly meaningless way to of that mentality, or something may have scribed beautifully the view from his travel since all you ever see are jaded been lost in its translation from German. room, his landlady, the road up to the tourist shop operators and other pood In any case the tag of "wholly unsatisfy skifields, the well prepared dinner as part little tourists, so you delve deeper to see ing" still applies. the actual people who live in these situa of the rally but missed any real relaying tions. of what the significance of the rally to JOHN HENZELL 33 If you're looking for another way to relax after exams than going down the Coast, then Campus Travel think they have just the thing - a Whitsundays holiday. Following last year's success, when 200 students went north, this year Campus have organised two trips - one leaving on December 4 and another on January 9 - both of which are steadily filling. The cost of $429 includes the return coach trip, three meals a day, five days at Wanderers Paradise at Airlie Beach, five days cruising the Whitsundays Passage on 34 foot yachts, and much more. The yachts are sailed by experienced skippers and are fully provisioned with snorkelling and windsurfing gear. Campus Travel organises everything with parties every night at different stopovers - Hamilton Island, South Molle and Whitsunday 100 provide the nightlife while back at Wanderers Paradise there are $1 nights and happy hours and at the Airlie Beach Pub the famous Toad Races take place. Of course, there are the day trips to the reefs and Campus puts on the Whitsundays' version of the Americas Cup where all the 34 footers take place in a race. (You have by now been taught to sail by your skipper.) The yachts hold eight people including the skipper so it makes it easy on Campus if students book as a yacht, but individual bookings are still encouraged. Further, for groups of 20 there is the added bonus of either one free trip or everybody gets five percent off the top. With people coming from all over the world to the Whitsundays, and paying a fortune for it, students have a great opportunity to experience one top holiday at a very affordable price. If you have any doubts, be assured that after the first day in the Whitsundays exams will be just a bad memory. ^'i' ^Now there really is a Barrier Reef holiday |you can afford! Whitsundays Galore '84 is |now recruiting 'crew members' for 12-day, ifun-filled rages at one of the world's most In conjunction with the Rec Club, Campus Travel has organised ^beautiful holiday destinations. a Whitsundays Day on the last day of lectures on Friday November 2. iYou'ii spend 5 nights at the lush tropical Campus Travel will be giving away a WHITSUNDAYS GALORE '84 HO LI DAY to the student who answers the simple question below |WANDERERS PARADISE and 5 nights correctly, drops the answer into Semper or Campus Travel, and is |cruising the Whitsunday Islands on at the Rec Club between 1.30 and 2.30 on Friday November 2. I magnificent yachts. The winner will be drawn at 2.00 iji! Two departures: 10 Hoi JO nnh/ REMEMBER: You must be present at the Rec Club to win I December 4 1984 and Ic Uayb^Ul lly QUESTION: Name the boat that won the Americas Cup in 1983. |January 9 . Call into ANSWER: IjCampus Travel now and check YOUR NAME: liout the hidden bonuses!! '.•.V.V.V.V. $429 «Vi*»%Vi CAMPU'.•.•.'•v.v.v*; S TRAVEL Ground Floor, Union Building University of Queensland Phone 371 2433 - 371 2163 or 377 2925 34 CINEMA band arc really space heroes who are ultra ,CARSTA1R$ intelligent and sport enough teclu\ical equipment to fill many a Bat cave. ' GOES TO Little wonder then, when aliens try to conquer the world by removing them HOLLYWOOD selves from their banishment in the eighth dimension, the secret planet 10 asks for SB's help to save truth justice and the BB way. The Adventures of BUCKAROO But before you send this one off to BANZAI across the eighth dimen the Kiddies matinee, it should be noted sion; Starring Peter Weller and that this movie, shunned by all the ap John Cuthgon. Probably at the parent major distributors in Australia, is actually just a send up of the silliness Schonell. seen in the popular adventure/sci fi movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Buckaroo Banzai is the product of Star Wars etc, etc. an American mother and Japanese As such, for all the hyper-heroism, father, an idolised musician/cartoon hyper-adventure and hyper-hype, this hero/all round heck of a guy. movie does show some hyper-humour tliat makes it worth seeing. Tliis sort of Buckaroo Banzai spends his time being humour really appeals to mc, but then a guitar hero in liis touring band and again, I thought that Razorback was being a leader in test piloting, but below great too. Trv and make sense of tlwt. that apparently sliallow ruse, he and his JOHN HENZELL said crooner and the story goes on and on and on with tiie usual Allen content. STANDARD But what is noticeable about tliis pro duction is that it is certainly no new ALLEN ground for Woody Allen. After all, when you see an incompe tent, bumbling, apologetic-Jewish balding BROADWAY DANNY ROSE: redhead goofing Ws way from debarcle to Woody Allen, Mia Farrow. Directed debarcle in a largely urban New York en by Woody Allen. vironment, there can be little doubt about the emanation of the character. Broadway Danny Rose is the latest But what Woody Allen seems now to in a long line of Woody Allen movies lack is innovation for this situation which to use the tried and trusted Allen means this movie is just a disappointing "formula". rehash of the earlier movies tliat made This time the plot is of a balding red both him and his self effacing style famous. head Jewish loser (no prizes for guessing The big difference is that the wit tliat who gets the part) who is the stage mana was then Inventive and new is now tired ger of such promising acts as a blind xylo and old, and even Allen's method of milk phone player and a bird that picks out ing the lauglis seems to be diminisliing in Good guy Bad connection tunes on a piano. As soon as the acts get impact. any luck at all, they dump Danny and The bottom line to all tliis is that head off with some new manager. Broadway Danny Rose is disappointing Danny is the manger of one such ta because it lacks any of the old magic tliat A SUNDAY IN THE COUNTRY: lent, a crooner who finds liis career on old Allen movies had. I hope he wiU be the upswing due to the nostalgia craze. able to start in a new direction with his Directed by Bertrand Travernier. COUNTRY But as usual there are problems and next film. One thing about doing pre-release Danny lias to placate the girlfriend of the DAMIEN SIMPSON movie reviews is that you get to see BUMPKINS all the other reviewers' reactions to the movies and get all the informa sign that the reviewer lias obviously done tion that they receive. his or her homework, when such informa The first tiling to realise about such re tion is actually handed out by the movie views is that what is seen m reviews as distributor as well as a selection of the great detail (like wliat the assistant pro most favourable reviews from around the ducer has done before or the history of world. the movie's making) and is thus taken as a Second is that often the movie review ing is done by people in organisations who need to be given a job and aren't ne cessarily the best reviewers on the specific FREE SCREENING newspaper's staff. This can be seen by the reaction of one newspaper's reviewer who claimed he didn't want to see "Brimstone and Trea cle" (which featured The Police's Sting in a purely acting role) because he "didn't like rock music". Hence, after an almost record breaking introductory waffie, I can say that 1 have absolutely i\o hesitation in disagreeing with almost all the reviewers in Brisbane by saying that I found A Sunday In The Country a disappointing film. As has been reported by the others, it is of the visit to an elderly painter by his son and daughter. The father realises tliat the visits are largely a matter of obli gation rather than sentiment and so carries on a game with his son about the real rea son for the visits. In subtitled French, the movie simply follows the standard French pattern .of offering a slice of life with a third person voice over to provide additional content. ** As such, it doesn't really seem to go in A Testy Comedy any distinct direction or ofl'er any real in terpretation of the content. Perhaps be PURPLE RAIN: Princeetal,George 5.30pm THURSDAY cause most of us have been brought up on Cinema. a diet of simplistic Hollywood movies Sorry Roadshow, but even though I NOVEMBER 1st which give an easy plot with all of what managed to sit through Beat Street, I've mentioned above included, the final I j'ust couldn't face this one. efi^ect seems to be an unsatisfactory con JACK MORRISON tent. W!M>KII KAHEN LONG 3S How far will you go this summer? STILL TRYING TO GET TO SINGAPORE OR KUALA LUMPUR? Student Travel still has departures: 27th November and 4th December SINGAPORE (return). $720 KUALA LUMPUR (return): $770 ALSO: EUROPE (one way) $810 Around-the-World: $1198 Pick up the §TA Summer Student TraA^i Ilandbbok to find b^^^^ STUDENT TRAVEL HANDBOO Summer 1984-85 SrUDEIIT TIMUEL 4USTIMLM THE NATIONAL STUDENT TRA/EL ORGANISATION WIN .\ Shop 4, Cinecolor House, 55 High Street, TKIP FOR Toowong (tel: 370 8056) TWO TO BALI Shop 2, Societe Generale House, 40 Creek Street (tel: 221 9629) 36 RECORDS •.•t'M'i THE BEASTS OF BOURBON: The Axeman's Jazz. One of the discoveries of the year! The Beasts of Bourbon is an eclectic band from IWelbourne, comprising various ex-members of groups such as The Scientists and The Hoodoo Gurus. They play mostly original music heavily influenced by the old American tradition of R&B mixed with some country. A kind of swamp Party Boys, you \ '^^ MM ^ could say. Their first release, "The Axeman's Jazz", has a sleazy and almost menacing feel to it. The lyric content of the songs follows, and extends, the line taken by the Violent Femmes: murderous hillbillies and treacherous good oi' boys with or without meat-cleavers behind their backs. HAIS^^ Morbid humour and parody abounds. Instead of songs ^ 'Vk about the cliched Gravy Trains, they have "Graveyard Train". They celebrate "The Day Marty Robbins Died" and do a definitive version of the old "Psycho". The closing track, "Ten Wheels for Jesus", is a 4ZZZ favou rite which deals with a born-again truckie who uses his 10-wheeier to spread the Lord's word. All tracks were recorded in one take, but the imper fections only add to the pleasure. The playing is gene CAN'T STAND THE WEATHER: Stevie Ray DEDICATED TO DANCE: A collection of Aus rally brilliant and the duat-lead guitars on "Drop Out" Vaughan and Double Trouble. tralian extended mixes, 8 tracks for $7.99, deserve a special mention. I can't wait to see this band First, some facts. Stevie Ray Vaughan is the hot sounds good In itself. 'live*: the stage act has such obvious potential I shot guitarist w/ho played guitar on David Bowie's Contributions by:StephenCummings, Dirk Blan- PAULBAKKER "Let's Dance" ajbum, but pulled out of the sub chart,- Icehouse, Deck Chairs Overboard, Mental sequent tour of Europe because the money wasn't As Anything, and The Sound. Some of the songs good enough. (I didn't blame him when I heard have been around for a while, but these are un the poor excuse for a funk band Bowie used on common versions. I like it, its got an interesting his Australian tour.) This is hissecond solo album cover too. It's a pity the last track, by The Sound since then and it's produced by noted white blues- is so terrible. A bad end. man, John Hammond. TERRY MURPHY Now, some opinions. After hearing the first side I had intended to call this album a travesty of the blues. The original songs are lacklustre, but even more unforgivable is the cover of Jimi Hendrix' "Voodoo Chile". Hendrix' version was more inspiring, even if you didn't like guitar music (and who didn't in those days). You could almost feel the presence of an evil spirit in the music, Stevie Ray Vaughan's only contribution to the song has been to exorcise any spirit which may have survived the inter vening years. Whoever compared the quality of his play ing to Jimi Hendrix really ought to sit down and listen to "Are You Experienced?", "Axis: Bold as Love" and "Electric Ladyland" again. (Or perhaps for the first time.) ^•;.-'T^^ TTie second side Is a little better. "Cold Shot" has po :i&-^. (y tential and would be interesting to hear live..However/ the side is really dominated by the cover versibri 6!'-Tmy Pan Alley", an exceptional song by Jijririmy Re«lj^orie of\ T0IM|6Hi|$|iid Bowie, EMI the originators of the urban blues. yawghdr»?it^viJj&(W?^ The fnfffj1l|ibj|f;Bowle has yet again produced an much more fluid and relaxed, it almostiirnb|^^'n^|p^|d albun).«'^!|i!S^r8b and individual as the man him- with the cluttered showiness of the first'sideM|''' "^ ^'*''^"''^' •tt'•^/''i'*'.'•.* self. H ' influence upon modern music Still, as Shakespeare would have sai(l/|)r^j remaljii sted. not an album make. If Stevie Ray Vaugha/»,wei| Bo" need read no further - they will buy all the misplaced acclaim and return to ^%oo' and da] m "Tonight" regardless. least the roots of the blues, he might comaiflp v Th leen bought up with "Ziggy Stardust", good music. But he's a young American bo'^jth a' "You I' etc wilt agree that 'Tonight" is ano- obsession and it's a mighty big "if". there^ ^ diversity of Bowies talents. WAN!GRA > 'JS Th^ ^his album is that Bowies gone reggae with own" - Bob Marley need not turn m in his Th. |e to the ridiculous, shut your eyes and yol (the Righteous Brothers on the track JAWS OF LIFE: Hunters and Collectors ^ "God TTie title track "Tonight" has an unmistl Hunters and Collectors has always been'^e of |l feel. Turn the album nver and Bowie old sophisticated rockin' self with BOX OF FROGS: Box of Frogs, Epic those bands you either love or hate. The Swf/s of "Blue ps influence undoubtedly. Life reinforces this notion. ^^^ Upon hearing that the Yardbirds had reformed Th jmble & Twirl", brassy, gutsy and As per usual with H & C convention is thrown d^he under the rather unpretentious^nj^r^j;*5^B|iXt^^ then on it's a case of hang onto window. The lyrics are abstract, the rhythm a consts|B|Vt^ I Keep Forgetting" is pure no frills pounding beat, the bass line hard, the guitar thraslirnB& incing With The Big Boys" should out many and varied chords typifying the H & C style. wef louder than is acceptable by the ' Despite the Jaws of Life not being to my personal wha taste; the imagination and creativity incorporated in this we There is only one thing left to do once you've listened album is a valuable innovation. acro!^ to "Tonight" - turn it over and pjay it again. SIMON HOUGHTON ThOTffl||^B!i^Waction of this album — no comer- MIKE LARDER cial hyP^Drbullshit, just rivetting guitar-based blues in the great tradition of the legendary Yardbirds, the British group that weened the likes of guitar virtuosos Page, Clap ton and Beck. The nucleas of Frogs is formed by original Yardies Jim McCarty, Paul Samwell-Smith and Chris Dreja with Medicine Head John Fiddler adding his polished vocals. Jeff Beck appears as a Guest Frog on the album. Beck's hard-bluesy influences are immediately obvious In the four tracks to which he lends his unique talents, leaving his brilliant best to the album's final track "Poor Boy". The single "Back Where I Started" is an easy-listening number which displays the production mastery of Sam well-Smith, the man who also produced all of Cat Stevens' Albums. If you're after music to dance to turn on Triple M, this album is for Yardbtrd-diehards, but it's mass appeal will attract a large following. RICHARD BARNES 37 BOOKS some times macabre and grotesque, these story "Heubler". In this an artist cuts off QQP stories are far from being futuristic, as various limbs and appendages and displays I ANNIE DILU\RD some would argue, and in fact speak more tiiem as artistic statements. His ultimate m TEACHING about contempory society. hope is to suicide and exhibit his body, '?^. A STONE TO DAVID BLAKE thus achieving his aim of outliving art. Very strange! What seems to underlie these stories is the view that reality mote _. TALK PETER CAREY often than not dominates us, instead of the reverse, that we control "the world JENCOUNTERSI out there". It is a collection that is stimu DQP lating and provocative, and it makes you ^ think, which probably means that most -people (ie students) reading this review won't dare read it. The Drover's Wife DAVID BLAKE and other stories THE FAT WAN IN HISTORY QQE MICHAEL WILDING LIVING THE FAT MAN IN HISTORY and WAR CRIMES: P. Carey, University TOGETHER come along way from the ponderous of Queensland Press. S7.95. musings of Thoreau, and Dillard's prose While we are waiting for the cellu Murray Bail personifies the changes. She is a globe loid transformation of Peter Carey's trotter, as much at home in the Galla- novel Bliss, take some time out and pagos or Ecuadorian jungle, as in the familiarise yourselves with some backwoods of Pennsylvania. Like David THE DROVERS WIFE ANDOTHER Attenborough, her natural history knows vintage Carey. With the re-issue of no bounds. War Crimes and The Fat Man in STORIES: M. Bail, University of Queensland Press, S7.95. Also like Attenborough, she is a mas History, UQP have done everything ter of modern communication. Hei crisp they can to make such a literary lia In case- you're wondering whether sparse prose is as clean as magazine copy, son possible. Murray Bail's The Drovers Wife and and it sparkles with observations and ideas. Carey's worth a read, even though he's Other Stories is a new collection, Dillard won a Pulitzer Prize for general achieved that terrible distinction of being don't be fooled, as it's merely Con- non-fiction in 1974. "text-booked". Well, it may not be that tempon'Portraits TC-tMsd.l^QWTthe- But herein lies the problem. Dillard bad if "textbook" sales help pay the bills. less, these stories should stand the turns such a cute phrase that her style is Though 1 wouldn't call Carey an absur test of time. The fact that they are easily substituted for content.. Her glib dist writer, he does have a particular sense LIVING TOGETHER: M. Wilding, prose disguises facile thinking. of the unreal. His stories contain strange being reprinted probably means they have stood the test of time! University of Queensland Press, Does Dillard really believe she can post-revolutionary scenarios, unusual phy enter some cosmic communication with a sical phenomena, and some very plebian These stories exhibit the use of deft S7.95. Two guys and girl move into house weasel met with in the woods? but eccentric characters. All very twisted, touches of the ironic, the comic and the "Our look was as if two lovers, or sad. Consider one of the sub-stories in the with girl. Guys clean up house. Girl deadly enemies, met unexpectedly on an cooks wonderful meals. Male num overgrown path where each had been ber one shares bed with girl. Days thinking of somthing else: a clearing spent in mini-communal bliss. Fears blow to the gut. It was also a bright blow develop. Friends and neighbours in to the brain, or a sudden beating of brains, terlude. Habits grate. Guy number with all the charge and intimate grate of one tires of bed mate and has an af rubbed balloons. It emptied our lungs. fair. Guy number two overcomes It felled the forest, moved the fields," Get sexual innocence — series of girl and so on, and so on. friends causes upset in house. Girl Dillard uses her craft to reaffirm stolid ups and leaves. Sound familiar? .It's American values and to promote romantic notions of nature. Her writings win fol all in this reprint of Michael Wilding's lowers in the U.S. because she tells peo Living Together. ple what they want to hear. But as inter Yours This is one very funny book taking a preter of nature she too often obscures swipe at the sexual behaviour of the neo- her subject matter. urban fringe. Those liberated types who TIM LOW live, if in Brisbane, in Paddington, Too wong, Red Hill, and say to each other: "1 •••••••••«!•••••••••••••• JLJ.JK. • • • think we should be trusting enough to be able to share ourselves with others if they need me". Which is another way of saying: THE WORDS TO SAY IT: Marie SELL YOUR If I'm going to lust after somebody else Cardinal, Picador and jump in the cot with them, I'm bloody In recent decades Freudian theory well going to do so! So much for commit lias taken a battering from critics of OLD TEXTBOOKS ment, fidelity etc. its narrow and dogmatic interpre As it is, Living Together is hardly mora listic ; more so an expose of male duplicity, tation of personality development. CASH or COMMISSION paranoia, and ineptitude. All in all,a good Is childhood really about toilet train Sunday morning read under the pagola. ing and pointless sexual proscrip DAVID BLAKE tions? at the According to Marie Cardinal, the ans wer is an emphatic, yes! Cardinal's fic tionalised biography would have delighted TEACHING A STONE TO TALK: Freud, with its detailed account of a Annie Dillard, Picador. woman's liberation from 'the Thing' - Since the time of Thoreau, America her horrific psychosis - at the hands of has nurtured a strong tradition of a Paris psychiatrist. Cardinals' long-win natural history writing. Its best pro ded novel is an eulogy to Freudian thin king, as it describes the psychiatrist's un UNDN ponents have been philosophers and locking of symbolic keys to the past, re poets, deep-thinking folk concerned leasing repressed images of childhood. As with the relationships of man to na fictionalised defence of psychiatry, it is ture. Hunters/naturalists/writers like unsurpassed. Aide Leopold have secured a hal Cardinal's earnest tribute suffers fiom lowed niche in American history, a serious limitation however - a problem a concept difficult to appreciate that haunted Freud's writings. The good from the Australian perspective. doctor based his theories upon the obser Annie Dillard fits squarely within this ved neuroses of bourgeoise Jewish women tradition. Ostensibly she writes about na in Europe. Cardinal's heroine, though not flcWSHOp Jewish, is very bourgeoise, very European, ture, but the social problems of mankind are Iter real focus. She ponders the pro and yery much a woman. LOCATED DOWNSTAIRS IN THE blems of loneliness and communication, One may still ask, is Freudian thinking perceptions and cruelty, from her unique relevant to the black working-class male? STUDENT UNION SHOPPING ARCADE perspective as a roving naturalist. TIM LOW Phone 371 1510 American natural history writing has 38 BOOKS c7 C) in in Dre a m s IF YOU COULDNT LAUGH YOU'D GO BANANAS:SeanLeahy, Leahy Productions. S3.95. Political cartooning is one of the FWK most popular formsofcontemporary art. It involves making the complex DIRECTORS simple, and the portrayal of some times deadly serious events as a bit of a joke, but still manages to make the reader think by offering an iro nic twist to significant events. If any readers have ever ventured past page three of the Daily Sun, somewhere between the Bingo numbers and Garfield you would have stumbled across the work of one of Australia's finest, and most talented satirical cartoonists. Sean Leahy began cartooning at 17 years of age, and at that time was the •X . -^ youngest regularly published cartoonists on an Australian Daily newspaper. SUI'! MATIIHW'S Leahy decided to move to Queensland in February 1983, when he found he was 35 MM DREAMS; SueMathews, Pen in danger of being bored to death by the Hoo ^ A Mitnira ^} guin. political scene in the land of the Sand- The modern Australian film industry groper (W.A.). was created in the face of seemingly "If You Couldn't Uugh You'd Go Bananas" is an array of Leahy's most po \tp THE insurmountable odds. Australia had pular cartoons of recent times, and hardly 5UNSHir^£ no film industry at all between 1942 a politician or sportsperson of any notor and 1969. Yet in the following de iety is spared by his incisive wit. cade over 200 feature films were The book includes a not to be missed, made - all produced, written and unusually well written forward by the directed by Australians. Queensland Minister for anything he can Although Federal and State Govern get his hands on, Russ Hinze MLA. ->^y- ment funding provided a boost, the real JEFF WATERS is.i.'.l.'.'.'.'.'.'.l'.'.'.'l. i I > HI I , n ^ *.*.l.l J I.I.I I 11 I I I I I 11 I I I I I 11 U I H I I.I.U.y credit for the film renaissance must go to '.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'•.•.'.•.•.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'•'.'.'•'•'•'• " i-sv;-;" - the band of dedicated and irrepressible Australian film-makers. With limited tech nical expertise, and even more limited fun considerable interest to learn that Mailer racterisation, the ludicrous and long-win Of Information Act was proclaimed, ding, they ventured forth to create what had, for some time, been working on a ded dialogue and the general air of un bureaucrats trembled and public inte has become a new and major branch of new novel. Perhaps he would at last fulfill reality that hangs over Mailer's ancient rest groups cheered. Pretty well every- the arts in Australia, the expectations aroused by liis early work Egypt. Imitating, it would seem, the ac one spotted faults in the legislation, but The best of the new breed of film direc and assume his rightful place as America's tions of the gods, the Egyptian males at least it was there, and could now be tors have won respect as serious creative foremost novelist. thrust their members between the lips, improved upon. thinkers, and important interpreters of Mailer has always been inclined to do thighs and buttocks of anyone witliin As the book points out, the fairness Australian culture. Their films have found the unexpected so perhaps It should not reach in a desperate attempt to penetrate of allowing people to inspect their own acceptance among mainstream Australian be too surprising that, in Ancient Evenings, the mystery of life. Such endless activity files in government departments is ob audiences, and they probably exert more he has turned his back on contemporary doesn't achieve the metaphysical status vious. However the foUow-up from this is artistic influence than do Australian nove America to write a historical novel about Mailer desires to give it. possibly more important - that govern lists, playwrights or painters. the Egypt of the Pliaraohs. It seems a far Yet, if Ancient Evenings is a faUure, it cry from the Pacific war of Vie Naked is the failure of a great writer. Genius is ments will be more open in policy-making 35 MM Dreams records a series of inter and the Dead to the splendour and obsce full of trash said Herman Melville. Even if they know that policy can be closely views with five major Australian directors nity of ancient Egypt but Ancient Even amidst the trash of Ancient Evenings, one examined. For the Act not only allows - Fred Schepisi, Peter Weir, Gillian Arm ings once again gives voice to Mailer's fa can glimpse the power of Mailer's visions the individual access to files, but also ob strong, John Duigan and George Miller. vourite preoccupations - his belief in so and the power of language that could give liges each department to make their rules It is no surprise to find these subjects cial forms which will encourage the whole those visions life. Toward the end of the and manuals available. Documents pertai are highly intelligent,..thoughtful and range of human emotions, his belief in novel Menenhetet reflects, "i camelo.the ning to a broad decision could also be re motivated people. They liave much to say our need to acknowledge the bestial side sad conclusion that excrement was as quested. about the cinema and Australia, and often of our nature and our need to express much a part of magic as blood or fire, an, they say it with considerable style. ourselves through acts of violence. elixir of dying Gods and rotting spirits But in practice, the monumental legis Mathews' interviews range over the lation seems to have fallen fiat. This is The novel has a bewildering but mag desperate to regain the life they were diiectoTs' lives, films and ideas. We learn not necessarily the fault of the legislation, nificent beginning. A human soul is strug about lo lose." Mailer knows that no final that Schepisi is the only Australian direc but the Australian public - in the initial gling to return to life in the darkness of a reading of life can avoid such conclusions tor (of the five) without a tertiary degree, seven months of the Act's operation, tomb. It is beyond human imagining but but Ancient Evenings robs such conclu and that Weir and Miller both lived cliild- there were only 5,669 requests made Mailer never falters as he records the sights, sions of their essential seriousness. hoods of comic-book fantasy (Miller grew under the Act, fat less than the flood that sounds and smells of the burial place. In up in Chincilla,Queensland). The directors Mailer has always believed tliat his vi was feared. are frank and revealing, and we are brought this twilight world the soul encounters sion of man should be enshrined in a mas close to their lives and ideas. another soul, the spirit (or ka) of his great sive work of fiction and one can salute Of these, over two-thirds went to the grandfather Menenhctet, a man who has For anyone interested in Aussie cine the ambition if not the achievement of client-oriented agencies - Social Security, triumphed over the limitations of life ma, 35 MM Dreams is essential reading. Ancient Evenings. Mailer has written en Taxation, Veteran's Affairs, and Immigra and whose reincarnations liave enabled The style is lively and entertaining, and it ough of his life to prove he is capable of tion and Ethnic Affairs. There were largely him to hve through a thousand years of is sufficently informative to be of value as acliieving his ambition. We know that requests for personal files rather than po history. a reference. Mailer is aheady at work on another no- licy documents. The legislation sunply has vet. Despite the limitations of Ancient TIM LOW not been tested. With Menenlietet as guide, the great- Evenings we can, like the soul at the end This book, produced by the Public In grandson recovers tiie memories of his of Mailer's story, look forward in hope. terest Advocacy Group and the Australian former life but it is Menenlietet who as JOHN STRUGNELL Consumers Association is an excellent ANCIENT EVENINGS: Norman sumes the centre of the stage and recounts Dr Strtignell is an English lecturer and tutors basic guide to how to use the act, rather for our diversion stories of the Egyptian on Mailer's previous work. Mailer, London: Picador. than a review of the effectiveness of the gods and stories of his own past lives. Act. Some of the advice is fairly obvious Ever since his first novel. The Naked Most of this storytelling takes place at a and the Dead, we have been waiting (e.g. always be polite to the public ser dinner party given at the palace of Rame- vant on the other end of the phone), but for another novel from Norman Mai ses II to mark the festival known as the DOCUMENTS, DOSSIERS, AND THE INSIDE DOPE: How to use it is, mostly, oriented squarely towards ler. He wrote a number of novels af Night of the Pig, an occasion on which how to obtain mformation under the act. the Freedom of Information Act. ter that first one but none of them the gods require the guests to indulge in Particulariy useful is the last section of By Kate Harrison. Published by had quite the same power. obscene speech and actions, a requirement the book, which provides sample forms After 1967 he turned away from fiction which Menenhetet is delighted to meet. Australian Consumers Association and letters that would be used in the act. The most dramatic part of Menenhetet's altogether to chronicle his own response and Public Interest Advocacy Centre. Wliat the book attempts to do is strip narrative deals with his involvement in to the turbulent social and political scene S7.50. away some of the mystique of the Pub the great battle of Kadesh where the Egyp of the sixties and seventies. His subjects Under the Freedom of Infonnation lic Service. In practice, some depart tians fought against the Hittites. The dis ranged from the protest marches of the Act operating in Victoria, students ments, notably Social Security, are aster that overtakes the Hittites, however, late sixties to Marilyn Monroe, from the fairly relaxed about the act - others, is nothing to the disaster that has by this have gained access to. their actual space programme to death row. In these notably Treasury, seem to regard it as an stage overtaken Mailer's novel. Despite exam marks rather than just a raw books he sought, as he said himself, to imposition. elucidate the mysterious character of the brilliant opening. Ancient Evenings rating. Under the Commonwealth becomes an absurd and preposterous Freedom of Information Act which So far, academics,journalists, and other American life. reseacheis have made little use of the act His considerable talent was always on book, embarrassing not for its failures came into being in 1982, students of taste but for its failures of style, some have been able to gain access to - hopefully this book' will encourage display though only in TIte Executioner's them to use it. thing one never expected from Mailer. their actual examination papers and Song, the book on Gary Gilmore, did he ANDREW FRASER produce anything comparable with TIte The occasional good passages are no comments thereon. Naked and the Dead. It was therefore of compensation for the unconvincing cha When the Commonwealth Freedom 39 CARSTAIRS /SLOW 72> >W o»^0)Ltajs &JAJU>{ m — P/ 'S^rvAie.^'^MoaS^ TUB Slt>RH SOpVRt ^:AESTA1R6, {^Kf?CiW, HENO/e/iC AMP L-r. BEK(C>F ^H&lMf4'Q.) HA>VE CrA/Ngp ^CCSSS TO MIPBOOT- «V O^ER-ZeAii5{;5 C^^ARPS HAVe AM5t/s^(£J> H0^ ^f^mis.. 7W£M." et/r LT. SB/ snafs f^AT-fioY sMooTn •^i^ ^-1 • ^^irTiO^J 1. What does I.R. stand for? 13. What was the man-servant told (a) fntefnal Revenue telepathically by his brother, to (b) fntestinal Regurgitation break? (c) frish Retmblic (a) Wind (dj International Rescue lb) Brains glasses (with a sledge hammer) 2. What is the Mole? (c) A utoinatic camera detector (a) Vigil's girlfriend (d) Virgils face (b) Large burrowing machine 14. What was the name of the man (c) Large freckle on Scott's upper lip servant? (d) Instrument for removing stones from (a) PaulSimret horses hooves (b) Dusty Fleming (hairdresser to the 3. Who was Jeff Tracey's eldest son? stars) (a) Dick Tracey Ic) Kamahl (b) Spencer Tracey id} Kirano (c) Tracey Wickham 15. What was the maximum speed of (d) Scott Tracey Thunderbird One? 4. What was the bean pod? (a) 60kph in a built up area (al Pay men t for Jack's ca w (econo my (bj 15,000 miles an hour size) (c) Pretty fucking fast (b) Textured protein substitute (Meinz (d) Three miles an hour plus one hour Heinz) for every 300 vertical feel (c) Self-contained mobile lianger for 16. What came up and out of the pink Thunderbird 2 Rolls Royce? (d) What you smoke soya beans in (a) A long pink instrument 5. What is a Thunderbird? (b) A short pink instrument (I don't (a) Emu with flatulance want to brag) (b) I.R. Rescue crafts (c) Machine gun (c) Mother of a thunder egg (d) A long, short, flat, thin, curved, angular, smooth, rough, blunt, 6. Which one was not one of Jeff sharp pink instrument Tracey's sons? (a) Gordon 17. Who was Brains? lb) Virgil (a) The icky, smelly, grey thifjg (c) Allan (b) The guy who invented all the (d) Scott machines (e) John (c) Gordon's favourite midnight snack if) Penelope (d) B.R.A.I.N.S. Brisbane Raving Agrophobics Introvert Neurotics 7. Who was Parker? Society (a) Lady Penelope's handyman (c) E.T.'sfather (b) Pen manufacturer (c) A rainproof windcheater manu 18. What was Brains favourite indoor facturer sport? (d) The name the Kerr family called (a) Indoor cricket their father (b) Auto-eroticism (c) Chess 8. In the abominable snowman episode (d) Psychokinetic Tennis what was only fractions away from Lady Penelopes neck? (a) Parkers mouth (bj. Her tits (c) A laser beam (d) The abominable snowman's mouth 9. What flopped dovm when Thunder- bird two slid to its Inevitable blast off? (a) Kirano'ssouffle (cj Eyes it wasn 't drifting in space" 19. Which power covertly supplied funds (b) The palm trees (d) Cleft chin (c) Trick question - Gordon drove to I.R.? (c) The contents (e) The hands on their Mickey Mouse Thunderbird 4 (a) Mormon Church (d) Flo's lower jaw when site saw the watches \ 2, Where is Lady Penelopes other (b) CIS contents ofRuss's G-string 11. What did Gordon say when he saw the residence? (c) Qld National Country Party to. What part of the family portraits lit Asteroid adrift in space, from the f"' Banff Id) CHAOS up when they had a communique? window of Thunderbird 3? 'J^l Tierra Del Fuego (e) All of the above (a) Doobree (a) "If only Batman was here" M Central NSW Sheep property 20. What was the principle religious (b) Nostrils (b) "What would an asteroid be doing if '"/ Verkhoyansk belief of the Tracey family? (aI Dingo Worshippers for Ayres Rock (b) Moonies (c) Bahai (d) Atheists (puppets don't believe in God) 21. Who or what was Tin Tin? (ij A chocolate biscuit lb) Girlfriend of Allan (c) Sister of Tiny Tim (d) The runt ofRin Tin Tin's litter 22. What was Jeff Tracey's former career? (1) .Male Masseur (b) Evangilist Priest M Bottomless waiter at the "Ram Rod"in San Francisco (d) In the military 23. In the sun probe episode what stopped I.R. crashing into the sun? ("I By the time tiiey got there it was night lb) Joh sat down (cj Because Tliunderbird 2 turned on an emergency beam (d) Russ Hinze stood up and caused a total eclipse 24. What ever happened to Jeff Tracey's wife? (a) She snuffed it (b) She croaked (c) She's pushing up daisy's (d) She was put to bed with a shovel (e) She kicked the bucket (f) She shuffled off the mortal coil (g) All of the above illlllllllllll THUNDERBIRD QUIZ ANSWERS •a •(S) -n 'W -iz S '(P) 'IZ '(''9i Y'?/'-s,i '(p)'n '( 41 »»»»»»»»Mt#»»»»<»»»»»l»»»#<»l»»»»»»»»»»H»«»»»»»»»»»»»»»«»» Compiled by KAREN VENZKE •' 1 N 5 1 1 K 1 IS IBb 1 • • • • • • a n 1 1 !••••• • 1 • I • «•••• • • " • a isi .Machinations •••• aaBiBiB • t? ~^^^^^^^^^^^H ^Hlfe 77V Theatre Company presents "Measure • for.Measure''. Directed by Bryan Nason at 112 Brookes St on Nov 1 at 8 p.m. '''I 1 1 1 TM I'I 1 1 1 1 Triple Zed presents: •• HI HHH tal^' Fri Vicious Kites at Club Z, i • Nov 2 Majestic Hotel. pri 23 Fri Furious Turtles' last 1984 gig • Nov 2 at Easts Leagues Club, with The Brisbane Community Arts Centre a? 7t 1 1 Let's Go Naked. presents "The Boat is Full', 'Female Nov 23 Joint Effort Number 8, on Trouble', 'Pink Flamingos'. A Hitchcock Zt November 23, with Models, Festival and many other films through • • • !!• Machinations and Primal to February 1985, at their cinema. Mao Moves. 1 1 1 H^' 1 1 1 1 1 ^^H ACROSS I. The youngeit Partridfle son. Thought Forms Gallery presents 'Living 6. Initials of motherly actor. on the Edge' exhibition by two artists. 8. Unlike Prince Andrew, the Partridges . . . . Wanda Griffin and Neil Degney - an pubticltv- 9. The Parlridgej' grandmother. The Lyric Opera and the Qld Theatre exhibition of body-ornament pliotos and drawings. 50 Baynes St, West End. II. Initrument played by 1. Across. Orchestra presents 'Daughter of the Regi 13. Middle son. ment', conducted by George Timer. A Room presents exhibitions by: 14. Keith is in constant danger of being denuded by a In Mayne Hall, on October 25 at 8.00 p.m. Student Cones $15 and Until Brian Doherty 16. Initials of penon in 8. Across. $10. Phone 2461177 for bookings. Nov 3 17. The band's big hit. Nov 7 Christine Henderson 21. The Partridge Family is right.. The University Orchestra presents 'The 22. Mrs Partridge's workplace before the family's Creatures of Prometheus'by Beet to 24 phenomenal success. hoven and other works. Tickets on sale Nov 28 Diane lleelian 23. Another pop star - could be an honorary at the door of Mayne Hall, October 28 to Dec 15 Partridge. at 5.00 p.m. 25. Baby of the Family. 18. The Oldest, famousest Partridge son. All located at Floor One, 446 George 27. Their status as hasn't made the Partridges 19. His lovely sister. Street, Brisbane. Wed and Sat from big-headed. 20. A caress for Simone. 12-6 p.m. 28. Criminal Investigation Bureau (initials). Don't atk 23. The Partridge Family isn't saucy enough to be us how that's relevant - we don't know either. Not Recommended for Children (Initials). •Queensland Art Gallery has acquired a 29. Simone is the family... 26. Could have been Shirley's workplace. Qld Theatre Company presents 'Side by major work by one of Australia's fore 30. Actor/singer/extraordinary individual vriio plays 29. Reuben's department. most expressionist contempory pain the oldest Partridge - Mum excJuded. Side by Sondheitn'. Stars Judi Connelli 31. Shirley's position in the workforce. and Denise Wharmby. A musical cele ters, Davida Allen. brating theworksofStcphanSondheim. Institute of Modern Art presents exhibi ana u \ii KIHH Runs imtil Dec 15 at the Edward St. tions by: DOWN Theatre. Contact 221 3861 for further 1. Last name of 30. Across. . EIU[^ U D Ci ^Emi information. Until Dick Wat kins 2. Manager of the prodigous Partridges. Nov 10 3. Youngest Partridge (We\'e heard of double vision, but this going too far). Queensland Theatre Company presents Until Ruth Propsting 4. Shirley's role is mother... to her talented brood. "Percy and Rose" by Rob George. Nov 10 5. The family spend a lot of time on the ... . (Like U EUCIUBtliE ESiaDQQ SGIO Theatre from October 23 to Both located 4th Floor, 106 Edward Jack K,). B U November 10. Further information: St, 10a.m. to5p.m. Tuesday to Satur 7. The ptyehadelic vehicle they do so in. 10. The middle son has a fantastic brain. 221 3861. day. 12.30. Across's equally famous sibling. . li! y a • B G Davids Allen with her 'Paris Painting' 15. The girls all.... backing vocals. 16. Simone's breed. un CJai/^GasiBBQtaEi '••"*' . "^ ' <»##»»M»»»i»#<#MI>M»MeM»»»>iMt<»>»»>»tl»»»t>»»»*»»»*M»# 42 In America, the land of the free, the ca 3J: pitalist spirit, democracy and new head r quarters-of the iVIafia, they have a passion I Fish! In ^^ for surveys. Surveys about what you may ask, won dering what on earth the Americans could Fold cartoon survey that would be as interesting as wa thus for tching Peacock's ratings match that of the Argentine peso's world value. surprise» Well tough beans (and turnips, and azaleas and apples and. . .) because they A 8 decided that one of the burning life and death questions being currently debated is what the most popular American Lei sure activity is. Well, you'll be glad to know (and will explain the reference to turnips in the previous sentence) that it is gardening. But there is still more. For the $40,000 bracket the trendsetters will be glad to hear that 22 percent of people grow flowers as opposed to the far less trendy vegetables, enjoyed by 16 per cent of the populi. But there is another survey to be an And you tliought that Russ Hinze is nounced yet - v;hat noted scientists felt At some stage in our journey through Recently it was revealed that the Houston a colourful political character? the stormy passage of life (sorry, Zoo had been exhii^ting a rubber snake were the most significant breakthroughs New Zealand is all over the of this century (this one is sure to make but I've just been catching up on in place of a live one because the live ones Queensland scene in this regard be my reading for an 18th Century it did put In tended to die. The curator the book of lists). cause Paul Shadbolt has jilst been Without putting them in any particular literature subject) we all come across explained that people had noticed that voted the sexiest man in Auckland examples of out of context quota the snake hadn't moved for some time order (because they weren't supplied in and the most admired man in Auck tions that mislead: For students any particular order) the breakthroughs land, which is a little odd given that and called them to make sure that it was cited were: who confine their reading habits to OK. up until his decade the papers didn't Semper (and 18th Century texts), He went on to say that all they wanted Television The first television set was have a good word to say about him. you may never actually see an exam to do was show what a snake looked like, sold in 1946 and featured a 10 inch screen. Mr Shadbolt was well known as ple of this but a particularly fine and that even live ones didn 't move around There is no mention made of Pac IVIan in the scourge of the conservatives' exposition of counter contextual the list. much. because or his fearless attacks on rhetoric (I've also been reading We can see a great use for this techni The IQ test Although I can think of a the Vietnam issue and the Spring- some EN257 books) was found in a que In Parliament. lot of psych students who would dispute box tour. After writing a book recent edition of the Sydney Morn Binet's addition to thp list, this 1905 me- about his experiences (titled "BuU- ing Herald. There was a play called The Boil ing Frog at the Nimrod theatre which was almost universally can ned by critics but they managed to Unfortunately, the ALP announced get the following extracts to make their election slogan before we were tt look favourable in a later advertise able to get this edition out but we ment. Among the lifted qtiotes were could have run a similar competition ". . .sentiments about the nuclear to that done by the Sydney Morn industry xoith which I heartily agree." ing Herald (the patron Saint of pla The actual context from which the giarising Semper Editors) to find a quote came from was "I wish I suitable campaign slogan. could say J liked Nimrod's last pro duction at the Sauce Factory. The The entries, which didn't include Boiling Frog contains semttments the ALP's and were competing for about the nuclear industry with a copy of -Ron Tandbergs book shit and Jellybeans" for an obscure "Age of Consensus" varied on all of tffod of testing for subnormal intelligence which I heartily agree. But simple the relevant bits of current affairs. has traditionally been a big hit. reason which I have no desire to agreement doesn 't make this blend "It's my Party and I'll cry if I want Pesticides The first use of DDT to kill find out) he turned to tiie concrete of propaganda attd didacticism any to - Bob Hawke" was one the bet insects was in 1941. Napalm is not on the business. more palatable." ter ones, although the hint But, like all people as they get on ofDeja list. It all makes you wonder what Vu in "It's Crime" would probably Plastics Where would humanity be in life and decide to do something preclude that from a serious choice. that will leave their mark on the they could get out of any review no without plastic? We'd have a lot less matter how scathing. A few years Similarly, "Electioneering - it's a world, he entered the realm of poli Briese" and if you happen to sup Rayon shirts for one thing. Polyester, tics and was elected Mayor of Wai- ago the Semper Editors had a strange polyvinyl and nylon were invented predeliction for one word reviews port the Australian Democrats you temata (which is a large municipality could poll under "We've got the around the start of the century but it close to the famous NZ town of (eg: Bang Your Head by Quiet Riot took until the 1940s for a nylon stocking — SHIT. Damien Simpson) but even bastards confused - honest is next Wakyapapa). - Vote Democrat" or if you are a to- be made (vAat a leap foavard in the In order to celebrate his win, he this isn't safe from the countercon- human struggle!) and in that case 4 million textualists [try saying while stoned) Liberal (and are willing to admit it) tied his cement mixer to the back there is "Say No to a long Labor sold in the first four days. Quick Quiz for of the Mayoral Daimler and towed it because all they'd have to do is to Engineers; how many was that per day? drop the 'S' and suddenly it's com and Yes to a Liberal rebirth'. Stun through the city. Later he revealed ning. Antibiotics Otherwise known as the that the cement mixer was affec- plimentary. cheap alcoholic's best friend because of .tionately known as "Karl Marx". the ability to make the effect of drinking When quizzed on this, he expl'ained: several times stronger than normal, peni "Ut us one hull of a heavy and does • •«••••• ••««*•»* cillin was first mass produced in 1941. not work too well," he explained in DNA The discoverer of the "stuff of fluent Kiwi. life" won a nobel prize for this and has since syndicated the idea for use on the back of cornflakes packets. Birth Control Pills A fiendish plot de signed to increase the relative proportion of catholics in the world, was released by the Vatican in 1962. And guess which Semper Editor wouldn't have been here now if it had been produced a year earlier. The Computer The first real computer was used to crack codes during World War two, thus beginning a great career for BMW in supplying cars for computer exe cutives. The Big Bang Theory Nothing to do with the aforementioned pill, this was first put forward in 1929 by Edwin Hub ble. Aren't you glad to know that? Atomic Fission Nothing to do with Jane Fonda, Meryl Streep or Jason Ro- bards. £instein's Theory of Relativity E=MC^ (where E is Energy, M is the number of Mars Bars and C is the speed of light.) StJoanof Aa^K. Odds and Enda editor shreds yet mother week's worth of SMH*s. 43 REPRINT Hot Times at the Coast CYCLING IN VENICE Grade 12 school leavers are in for a ing to be seen talking to the police. It shocking disappointment this year seems that the landlords are of one mind - a four mile strip of the Gold Coast, as regards this matter." (and Scuba Diving) including the Broadbeach Hotel, A spokesperson from the Landlord's has been destroyed by fire. Rent and Pest Control Guild said the disa Apart from the horrendous loss of pro ster had been on the cards for about five perty, this tragedy has also caused the years. end of one of the great traditions of mo "1 mean, how would you like it if all dern GPS schools - SchooVie's Week, these strangers came into your place and For the uninitiated, Schoolie's is the destroyed it?" week after Grade 12's finish High School When asked whether the exorbitant when they go down the Coast, stay at the bonds the landlords charged covered most Broadic and become debauched. It turns damage cases, he replied: "Well, yes, but there is the principle involved. We are just normally placcid, obedient and responsi sick and tired of these kids invading our ble teenagers into raving, drunken lunatics. Gold Coast." A senior officer of the IVlermaid Beach Fire Brigade described the fire as shocking Surely it's just a case of school leavers will be school leavers anywhere they go? but said there were suspicious circum "So long as they go anywhere else it does stances involved. n't worry us," the spokesperson said. He said: "It appears that some psycho logically disordered landlords in the area, Detectives from the Arson Squad on angry at the damage caused by previous the scene of the carnage said arrests were Schoolies, decided to burn their pro imminent.. However, they said jail was an unlikely result - the guilty parties would perty to collect the insurance. However, probably undergo psychological treatment the fire obviously got out of control. before being released. "Unfortunately a cone of silence has descended on the area with no one want PRINCE HENRY Having found that students were More than this, it is recommended that particularly interested in the Pedal all clothing should be bought with a view Alternative Vegetable Growing Power column in Semper (and trav to keeping water out. Unfortunately most el generally), we felt that it would of the common wet weather brands avai For those of you who have enjoyed be really keen to combine the two. lable on the market do an admirable job our columns on kosher egg laying, Hence this column. of keeping out water only when above moss growing for fun and profit the water line and actually do nothing to and seven ways to healthier snails, The first problem the inexperienced stop the aquafication below that. Brands you'll be glad to know that Semper Venice cyclist must overcome is how to that we can recommend include the ob vious Ben Cropp swimwear, Speedo and is beginning this new column on Al cope with wet conditions. The first piece Astroboy swimwear. ternative Vegetable Growing. of equipment required is either an aqua Further, a map of the Venice area First of all, how alternative is our al lung or a very longsnorkel - this of course should be secured on the handlebars of ternative vegetable growing? First require is to enable the cyclist to breathe while the bike such that they can be read even ment is the traditional alluvial fan in which under the influence of the famous Venice when the view becomes murky with to grow your crop. The mouth of any canals. Brands recommended during the spaghetti refuse. This should stop any river will suffice so long as the silt level is Tour de France include Pierre Cardin, chance of the new cyclist to Venice gett below 20 percent. This will ensure crop Gitane, Peugeot and Ben Cropp, The ing lost. (alternative) will have a sufficiently high latter is particularly emphasised for deep salt content. sea cycling (or the Tour de Seine). As in any Italian city, cyclists should Upon selecting such a site for the alter Obviously a special type of bike is re counter the attempts of bicycle thieves native vegetables, the next requirement is quired for Venice cycling - a normal to rip off their transport. Once again, the the actual vegetable seeds. Some recom everyday type of bicycle is of course un choice of a good brand of lock would be mended alternative vegetables included suitable unless a Killrust treatment has in order and we can particularly vouch lichen, plankton (African variety only), been applied. Oil for the gears and the de for the Davy Jones brand of marine lock Venezualan Beaver Grass, Congo Apples tainers be carefully chosen - Caltex CX3/ as well as the inevitable Neptune Lock. and of course the ever popular Scottish Aqua and other such marine oilsare recom If you follow this simple guide, you Haggis Bush. north bank beside a good artesian bore. mended. Approved brandsof bikes include should have fw problems unicycling in Seeds can be obtained through any For all other star signs please check the the Malvin Starfish, Vitus Fishalistis and Venice. Also ask for the next in the series: Coles or Woolworths plant nursery, or, informative star chart in the Daily Pun - Ricardo Barrimundialban. across the Andes by Unicycle. alternatively, through your local botanist. while it may not make sense if you exude The numbers to call are 224 4800 or 224 the right karma spiritual enlightenment 0414. will be yours. Upon acquiring your seeds, the method The Ouija Board recommends that the of planting depends on your personal reaping of alternative vegetables occur karma and star sign. Recommended for whenever Earth's moon is in line with How to look Trendy Aries people is a small plot on the sou Pluto. This will ensure that your crop is thern bank of the river, planted facing alligncd with your motivational biorhythm Mecca on the thirteenth day of every thus enabling you to achieve the best at the Keller Bar month. For Cancer sufferers il is sugges flavour. ted that you plant chemothcrapcutic egg With the onset of summer and a cial; designs such as smurfs, bunnykins plants in alluvial silt near Fisherman's If you follow these simple rules you young sloane's mind turning towards and the rare but valuable childlike scrawls Wharf. For those unfortunate enough to too can experience the love and joy alter the coast, a few important tips are are definately the go. come under the Aquaries star sign we re native vegetables bring into your life. necessary to ensure that you are up If your obedient mother/girlfriend isn't commend a shaded stretch of mud on the GALVANISED SAWFOOT with the trendy Coast fashion. able to make them, then the best bought For a start, for those intending to spend pair are Sunrise. those longsunny days at fisherman's wharf As all good trendies should know or the broadie (if they rebuild it after the by now, there are only two varieties of SEMPER TALENT WASTED horrific fire) a pair of sunglasses are essen polo neck shirts that you would consider tial. The recommended brands to buy are wearing where people could see you.They are, of course, La Coste (famous French The Semper collective was shocked ment whose name is not Terry, said: "It BollerlrexlOO, at a moderate cost of has been determined that the consumption around $70. Although this may seem ex style named after the French phrase for and horrified yesterday when four "It costs") and Ganton Polo. prominent Semper contributors of alcohol was definitely not a consider cessive in cost, bear in mind that these ation in the cause of the traffic inquiry glasses can be reused when the skiing Deck shoes (leather with some leather were brutally killed in the second we are now pursuing. season comes around again either on the strips across the top, as seen on Brad Bau most worst car accident of all time. "But we are continuing our inquiries Thredbo slopes or in the Keller bar. man) are still theorderof the day for any When a senior policeman on the scene and wc expect to have results soon. There Ho we ver, what is becoming rea I Iy trend y one aspiring to look trendy. Of course, was asked what was the worst accident are no suspicious circumstances." (and if the cost of the aforementioned is any white sandshoe will suffice, but how he/she had ever seen, he/she replied: Relatives of one of the deceased, who prohibitive) is the 1960s Blues Brothers many of you young trendies aspirants "Yet to see it." had been notified according to eye-geese, style dark glasses. While originally being want to settle for anything but the fashion When thanked for his comment, the said: "I just can't believe it - Frank was limited to the mod subculture, they have nirvana? Detective-Sergeant gave the names of the such a good bambino. He cared for his now been accepted by the silver spoon But to top off (pardon the pun) the victims as Frank Merino, Jack Morrison, Mamas and Papas. He cherished their re trendies. summer attire, what is needed is a good Karen Long and the ubiquitous Damien cords. But if it is the absolute topof the range hat. The common, ragged straw hat is the best in most cases, especially if it has Simpson, ••. 1 "His whole life was his passion for a style that you're looking for, then you'll a band of board short style cloth around The four were apparently returning page three story in Semper - you might be seen in nothing short of the $150 Por it. from an end of year Semper party when say his whole life was a tribute to the cor sche Carrera Sunglasses. they were killed as their Suzuki Hatch rupt Imaginations of the editors." The next essential item of attire at the If you follow these simple rules, you'll jumped the kerb on a treacherous stretch A police source said: "It Is understood coast is undoubtably a pair of suitable have no trouble in picking up some young of road near Women's College and plunged that it would be a fair attribution to say board shorts. Not just common beach private school trendy aspirant at the broad- into the Queensland University lake(s) that this tragic loss to the public good variety store bought board shorts but beach hotel, and who cares if she (deleted and drowned. Their alleged bodies were will cause an editorial void in 1985." home made out of the longest, most outra by request of the Semper Good Taste never recovered. geous, loudest material that it is possible Committee), A police source high up In the depart ANGUS McPSEUDONYM to find. The selection of material is cru DIANA MIAMI REPRINT Lkm Legends Lash Losers A wave of mass hysteria hit Univer The jetsetting Bill Mallan took time sity and surrounding drinking estab off from running Sibyls to take the Re lishments recently when the Queens serves to their second consecutive premier land Uni Australian Rules Club ship. Mallan set about his coaching task made history. as he does his business - ruthlessly - and his charges soon earned the reputation of For the first time ever the Aussie Rules being the fittest side in the competition - club, known to all as the Red Lions, won any competition. You will not be forgot both Reserve and First Grade premier- ten Bill. • ships in the SQAFA Second Division The Reserves match was unfortunately competition. As well, another first was hampered by a Force 10 gale but this did achieved when centreman cum legend not stop players like first year Vet Guy j David Kinsman won a half Blue for his Nation, John Harrison and Rob Metcalfe • performances throughout the season. from starring. However, it was not until Now being called the Lions Legends, midway through the last term that the the Aussie Rules boys have been pro left foot of club legend Marty "C'Mon moted to First Division next year much team put it on mc chest" Bennett put to the delight of legendary club stalwart the Lions in front to stay. and President Steven "Crystal" Gale. Gale, having been through the hard times with The Firsts match was a completely the club, had one of his most successful different bowl of porridge although the seasons winning the competition's goal first half was a hard and rugged affair kicking award. After the First's magni with the scores close. This half saw the ficent win he was heard to comment: Russian connection - David Kusevitch "Thanks for coming Everton, it's a long and Tony Paplnczak - synchronising well way to come to lose." down one flank (spectators said it remin Uni Firsts defeated Everton Park ded them of Anatoly Karpov's third game 164-60 while the Reserves won a heart- against Viktor Korchnoiin Moscow,1974); , stopping grand final 75 - 72 (the handball although their opportunities would have by Jeremy Thompson will never be for been limited had the backline not been gotten). working like a well-oiled machine. Like a The victories can be attributed for the general with his troops Dr Jeff Egarr led most part to the somewhat legendary his unit by example - names like Steve coaching team of Jack Van Damme and Gregory, Murray (who?) Walker and Paul the mercurial entrepeneur Bill Mallan. Hornibrook are now synonymous with Van Damme, a legend in his own right the game of Australian Rules, while Paul (and hangover), has unfortunately left the O'Connor's name became associated with club after an extraordinarily successful self sacrifice and suicide. their critics who claimed they were pen two year association to take up a lucrative In the third quarter the Lions came With tears in his eyes Captain Graham cil-pushing, streetmarching bookworms coaching position in the VFL. out spitting chips and with an 11 goal Sullivan proudly hoisted the premiership and creampuffs. Falk, renowned for his I asked Van Damme to comment on blitz the legends were never In doubt. trophy aloft and, with characteristic mo uncanny ability to sniff out premierships, desty, acknowledged his own contribution . the two victories: "Winners are grinners Led by the only freely acknowledged earned the man of the match award (Falk to the side as essential. However, he also i and losers can get f.... d." While not and seif-proclaimed megalegend in the claimed his secret to success was his atten took time out to pay tribute to Everton: ' noted for his eloquence Van Damme can side, Med student Richie Falk, who boo dance at the Med Ball the Fr.Iday before "They played as well as we let them, and hit a player with a false tooth at 20 paces. ted six goals, the inspired legends mocked the game. Notably, the other star of the that wasn't very well." What sportman- game, maverick Daryl Shostack, also got ship! drunk at the Ball). While Sully reaped the praise of the ISroU(..~SMlTi hM^ntATiNi SlBtK. tf Wf """"l huge crowd his often underrated Vice- FANCr • BORED- P^^'LAffj/l OtHi CtHfAHi "•**<• WW BMio -f At soul *iir- After seeing the Falk surge Everton Captain and pseudo-mod, Gary Cranitch, were clutching at tactical straws and received another type of accolade. A Cleo made some drastic changes (bad luck representative was present at the game Robbo). It was then that the legends and v/as so impressed by Gary's form that pressed home their advantage and it be he offered him the next centre-page pin came a "little man's" game - Brenden up spot. Vaughan and Chris Mailer roving superbly Celebrations for the dual victories las off their rucks Scott Nicholas and Andy ted well Into the following week, with a McNaughton and then using their speed couple of legendary inebriates still being to set up the attack through spearhead and in a state of drunkenness the next Sunday. TEST. sometime Law student John Lemon (it's Bryce Lucas and Scott Uglow said, "It the only way he can get goals) and David was the principle of the thing". Bycrs who struck form at the right time. We wish the Aussie Rules boys every Vaughan said after the game: "It just goes success in 1985. to show that a good little man will beat a good big man any day." HARRY "Also a Legend" DUNSTALL Lights Out at Thredbo In a shock report released by the The Senate report described the inci Senate today it was uncovered that dent as suspicious and said the University the Queensland University Semper secret police were investigating (of course editors were killed by a mega ava Thredbo security had called in ASIO Im lanche at Thredbo while slamming mediately). Tequilas in the Keller Bar. There According to a secret source (that 0 7HE 7UHE OF "me. Of THE. VALKYRIES'^-- ^ . ^Alj iv| ikA / Iguana again) ASIO are on the record as were no other fatalities. believing the avalanche to have been re- PA...pAM.PM-^MMi M... MMMH^^.< vUn*" Noted ski instructor Kurt Hoppen- mole controlled by that evil temptress de-Sac was reported as saying: "Benz ze Nikola Daktarl (see Carstajrs). Apparen ME/mHUMM 5/llQON WESTf'ft^ knees" just before the two gallant editors SHorriuc cC^ui.- tly, Daktari was upset at the sledging she were horrendously crushed by the killer was receiving at the hands of Semper car f-m Hat *^"^^* As the year comes to an end we feel that we have to define our views when it comes to the Union. We can quite unequivocally say that they are not what they may appear. While they have attempted to put forward an image of being correct line, moderate ALP members acting for the good of students, we know that they are really a mob of 3. EDITORS LYNCHED AFTER COR closet National party members. RUPTION ALLEGATIONS. Remem- Throughout the year there have been undisclosed amounts of studente money disappear 'ber the Semper Editors? Well, forget ing that have been traced to the Bjeike Petersen Foundation. them because a posse from the Union headed them off the editorial pass Indeed, you may wonder where the funding for that controversial weir near the Pre mier's son's property came from. Now you know. and hung them from the nearest tree. CHARLES MANSON reports. You may have also heard reports that the NCC (not known as the Noxious Cricket 4. COLUMNS. If you're cycling on your Club) were behind the abolition of AUS. It was actually the National Party-led way to the Broadie this year and just delegation coming from this very University. happen to be passing through Venice In fact, the Senator that the Queensland Government will appoint to replace Kathy on the way and your alternative vege Martin is rumoured to be an ex-Villanova student with black hair, is currently the tables have just caught leaf droop, National Student Affairs Officer of this University Union, whose intials are P.L. you can read these advice columns and know exactly what to do. Further, a source close to the President has shown us photos of Bony Pakistan wear ing one of his collection of pink La Coste shirts which he only puts on when he thinks 5. LIONS LEGENDS LASH LOSERS. Legends come and go but some legends live no one is looking. Apparently, Mr Pakistan has been seen on a number of occasions forever. Come to think of it, I'm one of them. So I've written about myself and a at both the Broadie (before it was burnt down) and Fisherman's Wharf, and said in football team that I helped to make legends as well. | report. confidence to one of his advisers after he heard the election result in vvhich he was beaten for Treasurer by Ben Cropp {who was never seen at Uni wearing anything else 6. NEWS. Roxby protesters were bulldozed recently and our eye-spinifex on the than a YSL wetsuit with matching Gucci speargun) that if only he had shown his true scene gives his pointed views. The Union recently held a TEAS rally but were self to the students, he would have been elected. stormed by the riot squad when they attempted to cross the road when the don't walk sign was flashing. As for the 1985 Student's Union, we wish them well. Led by the inimitable but in 7. A PROFILE OF THE LATE PREMIER. Semper Staff writer FRANK MERINO experienced Beau Gest, Union Council meetings are likely to take on the shape of a (recently recovered from a severe bout of death) was there when the Premier was factional mudfight. On one side there will be Beau backed up by the incontrovertable, assassinated (come to think of it, he did it) so you get the best report from Carlos unsurpassable, infatigable but superlegendary Sir Bruce Batkins, a real crowd pleaser the Jackal (alias Frank Merino). complete with his own performing dog act. 8. TOOWOOMBA NUKED. We warned you about it in our last issue of Reprint (the On the side of truth, justice and the correct line way, there will be Bony Pakistan new name for Semper). We don't w<(nt to say we told you so but. . . Sucked in (shirts and all) aided by Downright Kreepy Krawley winner of the coveted Clutching Toowoomba! GAVIN SILVERSPOON and KEVIN SMELLNAVEL follow up. Defeat From the Jaws of Victory Award, Julie-Ann Grazier, (who are you?) who will Glow on guys. be taking up the position of illiteracy Vice President (Susan Ryan approved), and j Kaiser Mikail 111, recently said to be looking at the position of President of The Aus 9. AN INTERVIEW WITH RUSS HINZE. Sorry, but we were only able to fit his tralian Council of Trade Unions. photo in the page and that didn't allow our shpck horror in depth report by FINE COTTON. Despite their apparent differences we know that as intelligent mature individuals 10. MORE NEWS. Included here is the story of how two Semper. . . sorry. Reprint they will sort out their dischord and work together as a harmonious Union-for the ben- editors spent a whole night drawing beards and glasses on a leading crime figure to fit solely of the students they represent and not just to improve their own politicaL. careers or to get letters from Ex-Liberal Party Leaders. . giveJiinia^ new identity. ROLF TAUBMAN reports. 11. WE EXPOSE THE CONSPIRACY TO SUPPLY GOOD REFEC FOOD. In his in- It is with this in mind that we can leave our jobs as Semper Editors knowing that the depth, angry young man report, LEN EVANS reports on another case of refec Union is a better body for our efforts. stinginess - holes in doughnuts. On the subject of Union elections, may we just elucidate a particular bone of con 12. FULL PAGE AD. For trendy ski equipment, a bill for which will be inadvertantly tention. Some have said (such cruel people - said in a Kamahl voice) that Downright forgotten about by the Editors. Kreepy Krawly lost the presidency because of his alleged sleaziness; we know that the real villain of the electorate was the strong anti-Union vote that society is experiencing 13. OAINTREE SAVED. Following the actions of a pack of rabid echidnas, the Govern as a whole at this point in time. We wish to make it clear to DKK that we know it had ment has been forced to pass a bill to retrospectively not build the controversial nothing to with a reported complete, abject, wholly, comprehensive, unabridged, total, Daintree road. PAUL BUNYAN reports. full on, absolute, lack of charisma. Any reports to the contrary are totally scurrilous. 14. THE YEAR IN REVIEW. The Editors flash back their past successes and dismal failures. Who could forget such evente as the Keller Bar Avalanche and the Broad- And as for the claim that Kate Redwood was only narrowly elected to the position of beach fire shock horror massacre? receptionist (despite being unopposed) we can further categorically, absolutely, un equivocally, unqualifiedly, unmittigatingly, implicitly, positively, unconditionally, un 16. HOW TO GET FREE JOGGING SHOES FROM SPRA WITHOUT PAYING FOR mistakably, inalienably, ineluctably say that we forgot what we were typing about be THEM. Semper Exploiter JOHN HENZELL explains how to abuse your position fore we looked up categorically in the thesaurus. But really, she deserved the position. to get personal gains. This report by satellite from the US ski fields, I mean, she earnt something for staying around the Union stalwarts for so long (espe REVIEWS cially since she is probably the mentor of a certain worker in the G.P.O. after the last 17. FILMS. Romancing The Stoned reviewed by Reef McWeed. Council meeting). Purple Rain reviewed by the Atomic Energy Commission. - That might do it, eh, Harry. Streets Of Fire reviewed by Napalm Duvall. Ok John. Temple of Doom reviewed by Jim Jones. HARRY DUNSTALL8. JOHN HENZELL 18. BOOKS. Reprint lists the ten worst books of all time: The Complete Works of Hank Shakespeare (A Tennessee Auto Mechanic famous for the line "Alas poor 1954 Chevy convertible, I knew it Sam, a car of infinite speed.") The Entire Population of China - a Geneological Study (900 million volumes). Tasmania - a Geneological Study (17 pages). The Blind Person's Companion to Native Bird-Watching. Who's Who in Hiroshima - August 1945 Edition. ""'"'>•*-t^^i *. How To Get The Most Out Of Your Iron Lung. The Observor's Guide to Weeping Sores (and the rarest of alt has a sort of greenest tinge to it; note also the bubbling of the surrounding flesh). How Does it Work Volume 2 - The Chair. (Observe it. Does it look the right way up? Try it out. Are you comfortable? Does it hurt? - If so use caution when re moving.) Summer Roses (He was 25 and handsome. I felt safe as I fell into his arms. He was strong. Our eyes met and I blushed. Then he thrust his hot wet tongue into my mouth and I knew..,) ,. A Day in the Life of Myron Scruggs - Accountant (Today I got up. I dressed and cleaned my teeth, I went down and sat at the breakfast table. I drai^ by coffee and atemycereal. Igotup and picked up my case and left to get the No.39 bus...). 20. WHAT'S ON. Karen Solidarinosc gives her in depth guide to everything that's.on in Brisbane in the next three weeks in a dramatic quarter page report. 21. MUSIC. Midnight Oil's Red Sails in the Sunset reviewed by Dennis Connor. Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA reviewed by Ronald McDonald. Jimmy Barnes'Bodyswerve, reviewed by Pontiff Walty Lewis. 2Z Top's Eliminator reviewed by Joseph Mengel. 23. CROSSWORD and QUIZ. Test your knowledge on Peruvian Anteaters with this quiz and crossword by that man the Iguana. 24. ODDS and ENDS. Do you want to know what's happening In Sydney? If so either buy the Sydney Morning Herald or our abridged version. REPRINT Editors Lynched After Corruptioii Allegatioiis Extra terms of reference have been added to the Costigan inquiry following the sacking of the Semper editors late yesterday after claims of al ledged corruption. The allegations were made when the editors (we are unable to release their names as yet) were called before an extraordinary meeting of the Student's Union Coun cil. The editors appeared uncomfortable when asked to explain how they afforded skiing holidays at Vail on wages of $25 per month. Accusations were made by a secret source known only as the Iguana that a slush fund had been set up by the editors from monies received from advertising. Adver tising revenue is supposed to be used to pay for Semper contributors. It was further alleged that a privately owned company, EZ-RIde Travel (currently under investigation by the NSW Police), received free advertising in return for send ing the editors to the ski resort and paying for their ac commodation and ski lift tickets at no charge. A spokesbeingfrom EZ-Ride denied this. "1 deny this." he/she/it said. "These allegations are totally false. 1 don't even know the editors." However, this last denial was proved untrue as it was found out that thespokesbeing was in fact John Henzell's late brother's wife's second cousin once removed, Glenda Merino. This somewhat tenuous link was held by the Union Council to be sufficient to accuse the editors of whole sale and unmitigated corruption. Among other allegations made by Union executive, Bony Pakistan, it was said that longtime editor John Henzell had obtained a pair of running shoes from SPRA in return for certain favours. It is unsure what these favours actually were but it is believed they had Den of comiption? The Editors* office after a clean-up. something to do with drugs, sex, pornography and wri "I have also heard them say they like listening to ting an article. Union Council who accused Henzell of loitering in the Semper offices with intent to edit. Brother/Comrade/ Wham and that they went to the Boy George concert." In his defence Henzell replied: "It had nothing to do Despite these valid criticisms it is unlikely the editors with Semper. SPRA needed a journalist to write a story Citizen Pucas said: "Henzell and Dunstall couldn't edit Brothers Grimm." will be taken to court on charges, Mr Pakistan said from for them - they asked me to do it for them. In return I the Regatta Hotel. "They will be dealt with in due Further several Union hacks made a number ot received a pair of shoes - there is a definite quid pro course by the internal powers of the Union," he said. complaints' against the editors as regards their general quotthere. Besides I've always wanted to know what it When I asked Mr Pakistan whether this attack on the demeanour. Bony Pakistan said: "According to Bevan felt like to own a pair of shoes. All my life I've had to editors was out of revulsion for their political alienation, go around in bare feet." Lacoste, he regards the Semper editors as regular pa he said "No way, we at Union Council don't care just be trons of his salon and they allow him to use their cause they don't belong to the ALP, nor do we care This heartfelt but pitiful explanation brought neither names when advertising his clothing. This sounds a about their neo-altruistic values - it's because of the response nor reaction from the alleged Socialist Left of bit too trendy to me. way that they never write their own articles. They always steal them." Mr Pakistan gave the example of the Sydney Morning Herald. "The SMH are now suing the Union for a record $2 million In damages because Semper ripped off all their feature articles. "David Dale (who writes the SMH Stay In Touch column where Semper gets most of its Odds and Ends from) is really jacked off. He heard that Semper was using his column and because he didn't want his good name ruined by such a poor quality paper as Semper, he immediately issued a writ. 1 mean that's quite under standable." Mr Pakistan believes the form of the action will be a suit for breach of copyright. "I think the action will take the form of breach of copyright," he said. It appears from the above that Henzell and Dunstall are perhaps less than liked by the always correct line Union stalwarts. I asked the editors for comment. Law Student and Queensland University football ing legend, Harry Dunstall said: "Legends are not hated - it's just that we're not correct line - we don't wax rai's tails to our hair." John Henzell added: "Pakistan can take a slow boat to China for all I care - he's never liked me ever since I said 1 didn't like the actor Red Buttons. But we will fight this all the way to the High Court if necessary. The J Union will not get away with slurring my impeccable re putation. It is understood that the Costigan inquiry will be ^calling Dunstall and Henzell before it to testify to see v^hat further action, if any, should be Uken. Whatever the decision of Costigan, the Student's Union will nevertheless censure the controversial editors. So it seems that we have not heard the last of this ugly and hard-fought dispute. Hiny DunsttO protests Innocence: "My hinds are dein".