Dear Friends Wilton of the Religious Society of Friends, 317 New Canaan Road (Route 106), Wilton, CT 06897 www.wiltonfriends.org

Meeting for Worship 10:00 a.m. each First Day (Sunday) Children attend for the first 15 minutes, followed by First Day School

May, Fifth Month, 2013

Query: “Do we acknowledge the oneness of humanity and foster a loving spirit toward all people? Do we honor Friends' traditional testimony that men and women are equal? How do we work to make these ideals a reality?”

Advice: “Friends are advised to observe integrity in their living and to inspect frequently the state of their temporal affairs. In their dealings with everyone they should endeavor to maintain a truly Christian character, ever bearing in mind the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” New York ’s “Faith and Practice” ______

Dec. 14 Shootings and Their Continued write a Minute commemorating this event. Wilton is Effect on Our Meeting the closest Quaker Meeting to Newtown, we had people within our Meeting who were directly affected, yet we have not printed anything in our It has been over four months since the terrible Minutes about this story that shocked the nation. tragedy in Sandy Hook Elementary School, Why not? A Minute was proposed by Peace & Newtown. Locally, members of our Peace and Service to Fourth Month Business Meeting, but had Service Committee traveled to Hartford to protest for not been reviewed by both committees, so it was passage of the state bill (which did pass—hurray!). referred back. (See Minutes of 4th month, pp. 4&5.) Recently, after much debate, the U.S. Congress failed Other drafts did not quite capture what we wanted to to pass a substantive anti-gun violence bill. Along say. One problem is that there were two aspects: the with other victims’ families, Peter Murchison’s in- wish to hold the victims and their families in the laws, the Bardens (parents of 6-year-old Daniel), Light and to act legislatively so that this kind of traveled to Washington, D.C., with the President’s horrible deed will be less likely to happen again. encouragement, to urge Senators to pass the background check bill. The answer may lie in two Minutes, or is it too late?

Renda McCaughan, editor

Inside this issue: Page and Advice: 1 Dec. 14 Shootings & Their Continued Effect 1 Announcements: 2,3 Minutes: Meeting for Worship wCfB, 4th Mo. 4,5 Mark Barden, Daniel’s dad, with Barack Obama Indiana Yearly Meeting Schism, by Tim Connolly 6 NYYM Working Priorities Report 8 Meanwhile, Wilton Meeting’s Ministry & Oversight Ithaca MM protester letter, Calendar of Events: 9 and Peace & Service Committees have been trying to Reviewing Stand: People for a Peaceful Tomorrow's Announcements name derives from a group started by families & friends of victims of 9/11. In 2005 was the anniversary of Albert Quarterly Meeting, May 5 Einstein's & Others' statement to the world that we You are invited to Quarterly Meeting on May 5, at humans must decide to give up war or we will exterminate Chappaqua Meeting, starting with worship at 10 a.m. The ourselves. This reminded us locals to apply again to the program is an intergenerational one, and very active, NVMDParade because you all do know war & the threat focused on “Celebrating Our Monthly Meetings.” We are of war. We do believe that we of this United States of encouraging everyone to attend, especially families and America must help lead the world to Democracy that children who normally do not participate in Quarterly relies on reason & cooperation, with healthy Meetings. Should be a lot of fun!! competition. -Missy Conrad 203-354-2933/jgmconradATgmail.com FGC Gathering, June 30-July6 The Friends General Conference annual summer gathering will be held at the University of Northern Colorado, Greeley, CO, this year, with the theme of “At the Growing Edges of our Faith.” Registration has already started, with early registration April 3-14, then will start again April 20. Late fees start on June 1. There are 53 Workshops listed! Go to FGCgathering.org for more information.

NYYM Summer Session, July 21-27 As usual, the of the Religious Society of Friends will hold its big gathering at Silver Bay, New York, from July 21-27. Save the dates! More information will be forthcoming.

News from the Brauns “In a brief update, all is well with us. Jens is healthy and CFS Annual Gala and Fundraiser, May 18 busy with building and agriculture projects (maple Come to Connecticut Friends School Gala and enjoy a sugaring this week), Natalie is enjoying grad school very fun evening and support our very own school. There (Masters in Public Health) in Boston, Lucas is a new will be hors d’oeuvres and drinks, music and dancing, and college graduate and beginning work on April 1st as a an auction. It starts at 7:00 pm, Saturday, May 18, 2013, at software developer in Boston, and Caleb has not yet heard the Wilton campus, 317 New Canaan Road, Wilton. For from the colleges to which he has applied and in the tickets go to http://ctfriendsschool.org/ or contact meantime is enjoying his Senior Project at the William [email protected] 203-762-9860. Penn House in Washington, D.C. And I’m enjoying the many wonderful facets of life. My new e-mail address is Nagarote/Norwalk Sister City Fiesta, 5/16 speebraunATgmail.com. The sister City Project will be hosting their 27th Jens’s brother Eric and wife Ellen, William (14), and Jesse anniversary Fiesta on Thursday, May 16, at 6:30 pm, at (12) are thriving in our Quaker community. Ellen the Oak Hills Restaurant on the Green, 165 Fillow St, continues to practice midwifery on a small scale while Norwalk. There will be a silent auction and dinner. RSVP finishing a second certification program. Eric continues to by May 9. Tickets range from $75-$200. See Virginia Auster pursue big ideas on how to change the world for the better and is effecting real change in those directions. We love Norwalk Veterans' Memorial Day Parade having them “next door.” By the way, Natalie’s internship while she’s getting a Monday, May 27, 9am. March with People for a Peaceful Masters at BU’s School of Public Health is at the Tomorrow. Wear our country's colors of red, white, &/or Breastfeeding Center in Boston. blue. Signs must be vetted because this is a non-political, somber occasion, and our group has offended in the past We hope to visit Wilton Meeting this year and see you and (call me if any questions on this-). Here is what we other dear F/friends.” submitted for this year's application: Narrative for the Spee Braun Page 2 May 2013 Wilton Monthly Meeting Quaker Quest Potluck with Michel, Apr 13 I am pleased to report our pot-luck dinner this past Saturday was a great success. About 25 Friends watched our friend, Chef Michel Loth demonstrate his cooking prowess with two delicious dishes. Following his demonstration we enjoyed the pot-luck dinner while Michel presented the story of his life. Submitted by Albert Hsu

Amelia Becker & Caleigh Hoffman at the pond, studying

Chef Michel Loth Spring Work Day at WMM, April 20

Thanks go to everyone who turned out for a good work Curiosity starts young at CFS day on April 20. The Dumpster was filled halfway with junk, posts were installed for the handrail to the handicapped walkway, and two programmable thermostats were mounted, one in the Meeting Room and one in the Hospitality (Nursery) Room so that we will save energy not heating rooms not being used.

African drumming at Earth Day

New programmable thermostat in Nursery School Room

CFS Children's Earth Day Fair - 4/24/13 A spectacular spring day made for an enjoyable afternoon of earthy fun, games and learning! Oaks students did some pond study with a naturalist from the New Canaan Nature Center before the other activities started. Many visitors joined Connecticut Friends School students and families for some gardening, bunny visits, bread baking on an outdoor oven, gnome making, clay sculpting, mud Some of the crowd watching an owl demonstration at the CFS slopping, and the showcase of the day, the children's fair, Earth Day Fair. It was conducted by Michelle from the New created entirely by Oaks students. Thanks to everyone Canaan Nature Center. who came, and to the many, many people who helped make this happen. Happy Earth Day!

Wilton Friends Meeting May 2013 Page 3

Wilton Monthly Meeting for Worship with a Concern for Business

4th Month 14, 2013

Attending: Pete McCaughan, Renda McCaughan, Samantha Bernstein, Doris Munger, Virginia Auster, John Black Lee, Marilyn Atkin, Maribeth Becker, Albert Hsu, Tim Connolly, Ty Griese, Martha Gurvich, Missy Conrad, Laura Higgins (clerking), Nancy Sarno (recording). (15 people)

Meeting opened after a reading by the : “Friends believe that god’s presence and guidance are available to all seekers. We should listen attentively to, and reflect on, the messages and views of all members.” (page 64, Faith and Practice, New York Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends, 1995) Treasurer’s Report: Finances as of 3/31/2013 Treasurer Pete McCaughan reported that WMM has surpassed its annual income budget. This is especially noteworthy because this figure does not include Friends Nursery School revenue share. But, it does include $5,140 in funds transferred from Helen Gander Friends Nursery School to WMM for capital improvements. Our thanks to all those individuals who contributed so generously to our 2012-2013 income. Expenses are largely tracking to budget with the exception of Maintenance, which is over by $2,500. Among the remaining budgeted expenses are $4,500 to NYYM, a $2,500 transfer to the Working Capital Fund, and money for Silver Bay scholarships. We anticipate additional expenses this fiscal year of approximately $16,500 that would leave a year end surplus of about $3,000 without further income. Fund Activity This year we have received $11,200 in contributions to the Working Capital Fund. This brings our balance close to $60,000. Recorder Recorder Renda McCaughan reported that she mailed to Friends Historical Library, at Swarthmore College, a set of Business Meeting Minutes for the years 1997-2012 and a set of Newsletters for the years 1996-2012, on archival paper. Also included was a CD with the Minutes in pdf format. UPS Ground got it there in one day, and the Historical Library emailed her that the 22 pound box got there safely on April 5. Clerk mentioned that she had trouble finding minutes. Renda said she wasn’t able to find copies of all the minutes in the past 20 years, but sent to Swarthmore what she had found. Friends talked further about the privacy of minutes, and putting names in minutes and other documents on the website. Clerk mentioned that years ago, it was decided to leave friends’ names out, so that is what we should be doing today, unless we make another decision. Renda also reported receiving the NYYM census for Wilton Meeting is 90 adult members and five youth members. Friends thanked Renda for all of her work involved in this endeavor. Peace and Service: Missy distributed a letter intended as a minute written by members of Peace and Service committee. The hope was that WMM would approve a minute clarifying our stand on gun control. This minute would be approved by Quarterly and afterwards by New York Yearly Meeting, thereby adding the strength of unification to this important issue. A friend said that Ministry and Oversight was writing the same type of letter. She spoke about the importance of WMM publically stating our position and her passion about getting this minute recorded, especially as we are the monthly meeting closest to where the December shooting took place. Another Friend said that as a member of Ministry and Oversight, she felt that she did not have the time to think about how she would like the letter/minute to be written, and so

Page 4 May 2013 Wilton Monthly Meeting would be unable to approve a minute at this time. Another Friend said that she feels the letter/minute as written could use some editing, and become clearer about its intention. Another Friend stated that he liked the first two paragraphs because of their clarity, but thought the third paragraph became unfocused. Friends decided to send the minute back to the committees. Meeting closed after a brief silence.

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Note: In May, Meeting for Business is on the third First Day, to keep Mother’s Day free for family time. So Meeting for Business will be on May 19, after Hospitality.

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Newsletters also have some missing issues: 2001: 9th and 12th Months 2008: 2nd, 11th, 12th Months 2009: 1st, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th Months 2010: 1st, 4th, 9th, 10th Months 2011: 5th Month It may well be that there were no Newsletters published during some of those months, and that is why they are missing. For instance, during the summer months, often no business meeting is held, therefore no newsletter is published. Or it may be that the Newsletter Editor just did Renda McCaughan with a 22-lb. box of WMM Minutes and not have time to get out a newsletter. One can understand Newsletters ready to mail to Swarthmore Historical Library that dilemma! Archived Material is Sent to Safe Keeping However, some of these issues may be out there, in Our Recorder, Renda McCaughan, has finally sent Wilton someone’s storage. If you might be willing to Monthly Meeting records from way back to Swarthmore share it with Renda, please contact her: Historical Library! She has been struggling to gather rendaandpeteATyahoo.com or 860-799-7860 or at together a complete record of minutes of Business meeting. Meeting from the years 1997-2012 plus Newsletters from the years 1996-2012 (192 months!). Volunteers needed for Gillespie House Everything goes smoothly (thanks to a previous Recorder Madeleine Wilken, organizer extraordinaire for our who faithfully kept beautiful records) until 2010 when two outreach at Gillespie House and elsewhere, will be laid up months, March and June Meeting for Business Minutes with knee replacement surgery for the next few months. are missing. The newsletters that cover those months did She would like to see the sign-up list filled up through the not include the minutes, and the clerk’s computer crashed summer months while she is laid up!! Please consider just at that time, deleting the only copy extant. volunteering for this small but far-reaching opportunity to help. July 7and August 4 are open. See list in kitchen. Does anyone who is reading this have a copy of 2010 March and/or June Meeting Tom Martin to Visit May 5 for Business Minutes?? Please contact A heads up! Tom Martin, beloved ex-member of Wilton Renda McCaughan! Meeting, will be visiting us for Meeting for Worship on May 5. If you want to see him, be sure to come!

Wilton Friends Meeting May 2013 Page 5 Report on the visit of the NYYM Working The third query brought forth the most answers, as people got into the flow of things. Priorities Couple.  Create corporate ministry to bind us as similarly

led individuals Wilton Meeting was honored by the visit of Deb Wood and Lee Haring, members of the New York Yearly  Hold the torch to light candles Meeting Working Priorities Group. They are making the  Clarify, simplify, don’t add further layers circuit of the more than 80 Monthly Meetings, worship groups, and preparative and executive meetings that  Speak Quaker truths to the broader world belong to the Yearly Meeting.  Insert religious interpretation in public discourse A good group of about 20 people gathered after  Convene gathering and provide forum (Silver Hospitality on April 21, 2013, to hear what this couple had Bay) to say and discuss what NYYM could do for us. Deb and Lee had brought three queries that they posted on an easel:  Communication among meetings and about larger issues (Spark) 1. How is the spirit at work in Wilton Monthly Meeting?  Activities in Black/Indian concerns, Sharing Fund, etc. 2. How can our Yearly Meeting assist Wilton’s work?  Revisit organization to structure to better reflect current times 3. What work is God calling the Yearly Meeting to do?  Attend to our youth, their voices and spirit  Avoid letting “Quakerly” ingrowth; let revelation The first query brought forth a number of answers, which come this editor did not get to write down, except for three:  Be open to change and challenge.  Education, in the form of the Connecticut Friends We all felt, I think, that this was a good session in that we School; learned more about our yearly meeting and learned about Wilton Monthly Meeting.  Healing, especially in Judy Meikle’s prison work;  Social gathering, as someone said, “it’s my primary source of social life, my place where I have friends.”

The second query brought forth many more answers. This is our list as this editor wrote them down:  Support individual’s leadings  Support individual and inspire Monthly Meeting’s work; be a catalyst  Visit more  Teach Quaker process  Assist in handling conflicts that divide the meeting and restore unity  Extend/expand Wilton’s work  Help us grow and expand

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Indiana Yearly Meeting Schism. We’ve Seen It Before And It Must Stop. No Unity-Less Society.

The February 2013 issue of Friends Journal (pp.16-18) America and Africa. In 2000, there were 60,000 Friends in reported that 15 Monthly Meetings making up about 30% Central and South America and 156,000 Friends in Africa of the Indiana Yearly Meeting (IYM) are leaving IYM and – of which over 133,000 of the latter were in Kenya. In undertaking what they call a “reconfiguration”, with the 2000, Friends in Africa and Latin America constituted seceding group calling themselves Meeting O. On roughly 64% of the Society, up from 13% overall in 1940. November 10, 2012, IYM approved a plan to “let the Today, American and European Friends represent about yearly meeting go on existing as a legal entity and just set one third of the Society. off a new yearly meeting or equivalent association.” The main idea is “…to figure out how to purposely divide a Within the Society of Friends in 2000, 83% were in yearly meeting, for which there is very little precedent.” Yearly Meetings where the worship is exclusively By saying there is very little precedent for the division, the programmed and hence may be categorized as Os think of their situation as unique. They really aren’t Evangelical. 9 % of Friends belonged to wholly that special or unique. Rather, they are in alignment with a unprogrammed Yearly Meetings. 8% of Friends affiliated long history of schism within the Religious Society Of to both Liberal and Evangelical umbrella groups (FGC Friends. and FUM) where there is often a combination of programmed and unprogrammed worship. Evangelical The Main Disagreement Today Has To Do With Same Sex Friends are the dominant presence within the Society Relationships. Since 1970, the most divisive issue within today, by a factor of almost 5 times that of Friends who IYM has centered on sexuality and same sex relationships. align with the Conservative and Liberal strands of the A minute approved by IYM in 1982 stated that same sex Society. At 9% of world Quaker membership, Liberal relationships are contrary to the will of God. Twenty Friends, such as those found at Wilton Monthly Meeting, years or so later, a Meeting in West Richmond Indiana are a remarkably small (by a factor of 10 times) minority united on “The Welcoming Minute”, which affirmed and within the Religious Society of Friends today. recognized same sex couples in committed relationships just as it would affirm and recognize heterosexual couples. Schism Within IYM Is Simply Another Example Of The West Richmond Meeting’s so-called welcoming minute Historical Tensions Between The 3 Strands Of Quakerism hasn’t gained traction within IYM. And the demographic Co-Mingling To Confound Us On The Dilemma Of Same trends haven’t worked out the way the O’s had Sex Unions. The three strands of Quakerism will not go anticipated. Older Orthodox Friends passing away haven’t away because they are integral to all people. Denying one necessarily been replaced by younger Liberal Friends strand or another is like failing to embrace fundamental supportive of the welcoming minute. strands within one’s self. All three strands of Quakerism The Three Strands Of Quakerism Today. Three main co-mingle on the issue of same sex marriage, which makes strands of difference run through the Religious Society of the matter so confounding to some. Human experience, Friends today: Evangelical, Conservative and Liberal. spirit and scripture tell me both sides of the dilemma are “Evangelical Friends are Christians who happen to be right. As asks in another context in Faith And Quaker. Conservative Friends are Quaker and Christian. Practice ( Richmond Hill, Indiana: Friends United Press, Liberal Friends are Quakers first and foremost who may 2007, p. 130) How do we “ ..gather these alternative or may not be Christian or theist. Here we have a diversity systems into a single, wider unity. (How) will (we) be able of primary faith identity as well as a variation in faith to explain both aspects through a deeper organizing truth, content. On both counts, Quakers vary widely.” (Pink but then, almost certainly a new pair of alternatives will Dandelion, The Quakers - A Very Short Introduction, emerge to bother the growing youth of that remote (Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 2008) p.107.) generation”. I don’t know how to gather the alternative I will leave it up to you to decide which of the three views into a single, wider unity. But running away from strands are in opposition within IYM. the reality and dilemma of either of the two views on same sex marriage is not the answer. Secession is a form of self deceit and self destructive myopia. Rather the dilemma of Liberal and Conservative Friends Are Almost 5 Times the duality should be embraced as an integral and accepted Smaller In Number Than Evangelical Friends. In 2000, part of humanity. there were 338,000 Friends worldwide, up from 157,800 in 1940. Most growth since 1940 has been in Latin Wilton Friends Meeting May 2013 Page 7 Seceders, whether they are Liberally or Evangelically of unity within the Society have always prevailed. This oriented, strain the unity and diminish the scarce resources unity has facilitated explosive growth in the form of a of a relatively small Religious Society. Meeting O, by doubling in the number of new Quaker members separating, leaves behind 83% of the Society of Friends worldwide in only 60 years. To Meeting O and IYM I (the Evangelicals) who disagree with them. Former WMM plead: don’t take the easy way out even though it may feel members, who fled following the WMM 2000 minute on better for the moment. Don’t kill the goose of unity that same sex unions, may have joined the majority within the has laid the golden eggs of doubled Quaker membership Society but were as unhelpful with their actions as the worldwide in our lifetime. Try to keep the bigger picture actions of Meeting O Friends are today. within the world and within oneself in mind. Timothy J. Connolly For almost 400 years, opposing forces from without have Wilton Monthly Meeting been unable to diminish or eliminate Friends’ ministry. 1 Fourth Month 2013 Only Friends have had the power to diminish themselves - from within. Fortunately, those pursuing the higher road

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Friends to Hold in the Light  Sean Higgins: Recent surgery on his neck to relieve pressure on nerves, necessitating a lengthy recovery period. He is back to work at the Connecticut Friends School, though.

 John Black Lee: A Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) episode during Meeting for Worship on April 7. John is back at Meeting now, seemingly back to normal, but needs to have a companion living with him at home.

 Madeleine Wilken: Knee replacement surgery April 30, and “won't be able to help anyone with anything, at least anything physical, for weeks at least.”(As she puts it.) She is worried about the Gillespie House dinners sign-ups for the summer, not about herself (typical Madeleine, eh?). Looks like May, June and July are taken care of. Take care of yourself, Madeleine! Maybe some of us can make some casseroles or something…

 Brianna Higgins: Surgery for growth in breast on April 30. Sean assures us it is probably benign, but still, let us hold her in the Light.

 Jolene Festa: Grand mal seizure suffered in middle of April. Our friend, now living in Brooklyn, was in the hospital on April 21, according to Judy Meikle.

Page 8 May 2013 Wilton Monthly Meeting delicious food; no tranquil landscapes; and not even New York Yearly Meeting Member in coffee or tea. If we do not want New York to become a Jail prison of wellheads, pipelines and compressor stations; if we do not want the violence of climate change Sandra Steingraber, PhD, author, biologist, instability and mass species extinction; if we do not distinguished scholar at Ithaca College and a member want to leave our children a diminished world bereft of of Ithaca Monthly Meeting, is in the Chemung County th frog song, bees, coral reefs, sea ice; then coming to a Jail. On April 17 she was imprisoned for 15 days for place as far removed from the rhythms of the natural protesting the industrialization of the Finger Lakes world as a jail cell is not an inappropriate place to say region by committing a peaceful act of civil so. disobedience (Ed: blockading a driveway). Her mailing address is: April 18 - LETTER FROM CHEMUNG COUNTY JAIL, Sandra Steingraber When Henry David Thoreau spent a night in jail Chemung County Jail for civil disobedience–defining the term in the process– 211 William Street he was served chocolate and brown bread for Elmira, New York 14901 breakfast. The tray that was slid under my bars at 5:00 am this morning contained nothing as tasty. In fact, I’d Calendar be hard pressed to say what the ingredients were. Packets of instant hot coca (artificial) are available from May 5 10:00 am Meeting for Worship the commissary for a price–along with ramen noodles, decaf coffee, Jolly Rogers, shampoo, pencils, 10:00 am Quarterly Mtg at Chappaqua envelopes and paper. 5:00 pm Gillespie House There is no window in my cell. The lights are on May 12 10:00 am Meeting for Worship all night. The television is on all day. Through the bars that make up the fourth wall of my new living quarters, I Mother’s Day (no Mtg for Business) have a view of the catwalk, which is patrolled by May 14 7:00 pm Meeting for Healing guards, and then another wall of bars, and beyond those bars is a window made up of small panes of May 18 7:00 pm CFS Annual Gala opaque glass. At about seven o’clock, one of the May 19 10:00 am Meeting for Worship inmates asked for fresh air, and the guard, whom everyone calls Murphy’s Law, cranked open the grid of Bring food, clothes panes, just a little. 11:45 am Meeting for Business Now, I can stand at my own bard, and move my May 20 9:00 am Spring Work Day head in different directions–jumping up and down works May 21 10:00 am Meeting for Worship the best–and see through the scrims of multiple layers of bars– a glimpse of the outside world. There are row 11:30 am Friendly Forum houses with windows and no bars–which fact suddenly May 26 10:00 am Meeting for Worship seems miraculous–and I thought I saw a bird fly by. No trees through; only slinky–like concertina wire. Somewhere, beyond the shouting of the television, there are church bells. Clerk: Laura Higgins Thoreau said, about his own experience with Recording Clerk Nancy Sarno incarceration, that the confinement of his physical self Treasurer Pete McCaughan was inconsequential; that freedom was a state of mind. Or something like that. I have neither the book, nor Finance Committee Clerk Albert Hsu Google, to help me fact--check. But I am very aware of my physical self, and sense that my biological life in jail Ministry & Oversight Clerk Woody Schempp is part of my message. Physical Stewardship Clerk Michel Loth Even though I am entirely cut off from Peace & Service Clerk Diane Keefe everything, I know and love my children and my husband, the April return of birdsong and wildflowers Newsletter Editor Renda McCaughan and pollination and photosynthesis. I believe this is the Submissions due May 22 midnight place to speak about fossil fuel extraction in general and fracking infrastructure in specific. I now inhabit an ugly, miserable, loud and ungraceful world. There are no flowers; no local,

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