Vol. 'htlNo. 23 GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY, WASHINGTON, p.C. Sunday, April 1, 1973 F.U.' Puts Fitz Out to Pasture ,. -c.,~_ r Cl!n't Return Here, ,7}':: " ~. '.' G town Veep Says ," : by Nicolo Macchiauelli The priest's allegedly hostile at- Former Academic Vice-President titude towards R.O.T.C., his op­ the Rev. Thomas R. Fitzgerald is in position to President Nixon's Viet­ an occupational limbo. The Fairfield nam policies, his "cooperative" Board. of Directors voted Friday to attitude towards homosexual "send him back to Georgetown." groups and his interest in academic Fitzgerald was named Fairfield reform were cited by Morriss as University President early this examples of Fr. Fitzgerald's "lax semester and left his Georgetown approach to a truly Catholic edu­ position last week. He broke down cational system." on the phone wb.en contacted by a The Morriss article was reprinted reporter this weekend and com- in the Transcript next to an plained he didn't "know what to editorial that declared that the do." educator was "unfi t to be Presiden t The Fairfield directors voted to of a Catholic campus." ... - "discharge Fr. Fi tzgerald from his "Fairfield University already has Fr. Fitzgerald would be president of this beautiful university if he hadn't been fired. (Photo by Frank duties as President of the University lost much of its uniquely Catholic Skuthers) because he will not take a firm character," the editorial said. "Such Henle to Fight Again stand to halt the creeping secular- films as 'Cabaret' and 'Boys in the ization of the campus." The direc- Band' are shown freely in campus tors cited an attack against the new buildings and restrictions against president last month in the Catholic immoral activities have been lifted. Transcript, the newspaper of the Fr. Fitzgerald has shown no interest O'Boyle Purges Henle Connecticut Archdiocese of Hart· in restoring Catholic discipline; in by Frank Morriss Board of Directors into emergency Christian Morals and Ethi~. Ryan ford. fact, he may be expected to Tuesday afternoon saw the final session and promised to hold them has appointed Ms. Val Okie as his In an article written recently by accelerate the downward slide breakdown of the Henle regime as until they approved the move. "Hatchet Person." Catholic Standard columnist Frank towards modernism and spiritual the Swiss Mafia of Patrick "Cardi­ "I'm not trying to force them to Morriss, Fitzgerald was labelled "a polychromism." nal" O'Boyle seized the office of accept me," O'Boyle snarled, "but "Who else could I have chosen," member of the 'new breed' of The attack against Fitzgerald University President the Rev. R. J. they aren't getting any booze until Ryan stated, "after the job she did Jesuit thinkers who have been was taken up in other Catholic Henle, OFM, follOwing a week-long I get a unanimous vote of con­ on those obnoxious students who responsible for the secular attitude newspapers in the region, including (Continued from Page 8) of universities like Georgetown." the Diocese, of Providence's Catho- seige. fidence." - ______lic Visitor. "Fitzgerald is openly "I've had this planned for At last report, 75% of the Board years," stated O'Boyle, "I just had of Directors had succumbed to the sympathetic with radical student to get out from under that Pope DT's. movements that don't care a whit person in Rome. He had no O'Boyle refused to comment on Gorda Too Lenient about moral theology," the Visitor imagination and was just stifling reports that he planned to -seceed editorialized. me." from the Church and name himself The Fairfield Board of Directors O'Boyle promptly called the as "Defender of the Faith." With G. U. Students said it agreed with the criticism He did state, however, that by Dick Tracy However, powerful conservative levelled against Fitzgerald and said "Rome obviously isn't keeping the Director of Protective Services elements in the administration it would look elsewhere for a new faith. They've been running things Bernard Gorda has been fired by opposed his policies, and with the president. "We've had some lousy G.u. Zeitung so loosely that students even know Vice-President for Planning and departure of his only friend in the presidents before," one member of about sex!" Physical Plan William Miller for administration, Academic Vice· the board said this weekend, "but "How low can you get?" he alleged leniency with student of­ President the Rev. Thomas R. this Fitzgerald fellow takes the Folds After concluded. fenders. Fitzgerald, S.J., informed observers cake." O'Boyle's ill-fated predecessor, Gorda received notice Saturday said his future was not bright. There is little chance Fr. Five Years Fr. Henle, OFM, originally held in that his "services would no longer Gorda survived by only a few Fitzgerald will be allowed to return the Tombs, reportedly escaped be required as of now." He has not days the recent shake up in the to his old position at Georgetown. by Dietrich Bonhoeffer Thursday and fled to safety in returned to his office and his home administration by the Archdiocese "It would be, well, disappointing to Allegemeine Luftwaffe Zeitung, Southern New Jersey. His escape phone has been disconnected. of Washington. In the beginning of those who had hoped to succeed a weekly undergraduate newspaper was masterminded by Thomas R. Gorda, a veteran of the Loyalist a major program to "clean up" the him," according to Acting Aca­ here, will discontinue publication Fitzgerald, TSF, recently ousted Brigade in the Spanish CiyiI War lower administrative levels, Miller demic Vice·President the Rev. for financial reasons. President of Fairfield University. and an outspoken advocate of U.S. announced Gorda's resignation Aloysius Kelley, S.J. "I personally Zeitung was founded five years The two have started a resistance recognition of the People's Re­ yesterday. (Continued on Page 27) ago by Baron Stepan von Picinski as movemeQt known as "The Re­ public of China, became security a radical journalistic alternative to sistence" .and vow revenge. director in November 1971 after The HOYA, which von Picinski O'Boyle denied rumors that he Vice-President for Student Develop­ regarded as a conservative publica­ had received tactical support from ment Dr. Patricia Rueckel recom­ tion. Von Picinski styled himself the Nixon administration, labeling mended that the Security Police Neueskanzler und Fuehrer and used the story as a "fallacious lie." , make its image more pleasing to the his editorial position. to preach a "The fact that my guards carried student body. Gorda was selected confused philosophy of land re­ M-16's and drove Sherman Tanks is as top cop at Georgetown because form, radical economic policies, completely coincidental," O'Boyle he had long been identified with and sloppy layout. stated. radical student causes and repre­ As the pUblication gained sup· The Nixon administration did sented "the new police officer of port, it changed to a tabloid format send a congratulatory telegram, the seventies," administration and- was published on a weekly however, and has purportedly ex­ sources said at the time. basis. Von Picinsky was fired from tended official recognition to the Gorda immediately initiated a the top editorial position and the O'Boyle dictatorship. The recogni­ major program to revamp the paper moved to the right with the tion was extended contingent upon security department, changing its appointment of Reinhart Neue­ O'Boyle's anuIIment of Dick name to the Georgetown Service to komf as Obergruppenredaktur of Nixon's marriage to Thelma Patricia Protect the Best Interests of the the publication. Ryan. Nixon has sought the anul­ StUdents. He instructed his officers In the meantime, The HOYA lment because "Thelma" has failed to "discreetly ignore" violations of adopted a left-wing editorial stance to give him a male heir. University drug policy, set up a with the election of Bernadette - In his first official pronounce­ special office to provide a constant Savard as Editor-in-Chief last year. ment, O'Boyle re-opened the In­ flow of information to campus The Rosa Luxembourg of campus quisition, naming Edmund G. newspapers and opened the campus journalism, Ms. Savard was a target Ryan, IOOF, as Third Executive to 10,000,demonstrators during the of a campaign of violence sponsor- Vice President for the Elimination recent anti-Nixon inaugural pro· Dr. Rueckel recommended that the security force improve its image. (Continued on Page 31) of Vice and the Protection of tests. (Photo by Maurice of Paris) Page Two

California Dreaming

stoned out of my head/by K.J. Koenig

I was sitting around with a lot of my friends late last month relating to humanity and talking about what a rip-off Tricky Dick and Spiro are, when we all decided what is wrong with the world. Now a lot of guys and chicks think that Nixon is what's wrong with the, world, and one dude whe writes for the Voice thinks that McGovern is what's wrong with the world. Some people think student government is what's wrong, and some think we're all a bunch of Joe Hoyas. Some of us are into the enternal turkey shoot, and others are into false community. These are the reasons offered for what is wrong in the world. Bullshit. What is really wrong is that we haven't got our heads together. Like, we all have to get our heads together The Student Senate moves quickly to avert a crisis. (Photo by Stuart Barry Garfinkle) if we expect to know where it's at. Since we discovered this truth, we set about trying to find the best way to get On Q'Boyle, Takeover our heads together (my friends and I, God help us). Now, the best way to get your head together is this: We all scrounged up $25 apiece and went out and bought a gray and white 1962 Volkswagon bus. Any self-respecting Senate Takes Action person with his head together knows that a Volkswagon bus is the only authentic way to get your head together. by Joe Berglefetz "Soc et tuum," he said. "Gloria in given Shankman's past experience We got into our Volkswagon bus and started driving The Student Senate took strong excelcis Deo. Peromnia saecula at handling large sums of money, it action on thy question of the saeculorum, amen." Kellner then is likely that he will be given a high towards California. Anybody knows that you have to go to takeover of Georgetown University announced that he will follow Hoya position in O'Boyle's administra­ California in a Volkswagon bus to get your head together. by Patrick Cardinal O'Boyle. Meet· basketball star Merlin Wilson tion. They note that the position of The trip out to California in a Volkswagon bus in ing in an emergency marathon (GUNS'76) into the Jesuit novi­ University Treasurer is vacant fol­ catharsis. I mean, like, far out! In a 1962 VW bus it takes session late yesterday, the assembly tiate. All three people at his press lowing the death of George 86 hours to get to California. So we stopped a lot and debated for six and one half hours a conference broke into spontaneous Houston, who was killed in a futile resolution to take no stand on Fr. applause as if on cue at Kellner's defense of Fr. Henle's office against communed with nature, playing our 12 string guitars and Henle's ouster as University Presi­ announcement. the Swiss Guards. smoking prime Indiana hash. And 10, we began to get oat dent. The bill was then consigned Neil Shankman, student body In other action, the senate heads together. We stopped off at an Indian reservation in to the Food Committee for further vice president, announced that he decided that the yearly senate South Dakota and got it on with the chiefs and the consideration. was fully in favor of the new resolutions compendium be printed squaws. I mean, we engaged in dialectical dialogue and Chris Zinn (BULL'74), who regime. Observers point out that on a 4x6 card. introduced the bill, criticized the rationalistic mysticism. It was outofsight. Those people got action of the senate. "I think the r------_. their heads together. What a ripoff job we gave them a bill should have been sent to the hundred years ago. We should give all the lands back to the Student Help In Teaching (S.H.LT.) Indians and go live on the reservations they set, up for us. committee," he said. "It has abso­ Its justice, man. At least then maybe we could relate to lutely no business -in the Food Committee. That damn wop one another as human beings and contribute to our Be ngi ovi is part of o 'Boyle's interpersonal relationships, instead of just giving the mafia," he went on, and .on, and hurried, self-important stare to people walking on the on. animal paths between Walsh building and main campus. Pat Mahoney (Coll.'83), who Then we could all have our heads together. To hell with all co-authored the resolution, ex­ pressed dismay at the fate of the those western movies. I once thought a good western flick bill. "What's going on?" she was the best way to get your head together. No more, queried. man. The Indians are the scene now (after California, that Student Government President is). Doug Kellner (SBA'64), expressed Anyways, we pulled into Caljfornia (Mecca) after all his approval of the senate's action these cool times on the road-like we really got into the and of the Cardinal's takeover. desert. And we reached a plateau just over one of the moun tains, and there is was! I mean, like this was the 'Epidermist' headquarters for all head-getting-togetherness. There were 60,000 kids sitting on top of 40,000 Volkswagon busses (with a few old Ford vans thrown in there) getting their Film Crevv heads together, grooving to the vibes of a far-out stereo system, just feeling peace and love for all of humanity. for On Campus miles around all you could see was kids sitting on top of by Fred Scott LITTLE PATRICK EARLY WILL GO TO V.W. busses, getting their heads together. It was an A movie crew in on the George· BED HUNGRY TONIGHT existential experience. This beat communing with nature town campus this week to film and getting it on with the Indians. outdoor scenes for the movie So my friends and me dug the scene for a few days version of William Peter Blatty's He went to bed hungry last night. And he'll go to bed best-selling book, The Epidermist. hungry tomorrow night ... unless you help. before we decided to split. It was a real groove until the The Epidermist is about a young pigs showed up. What a bummer that was. Those guys just divorced cinemactress who is There are millions of little bosy and girls like young don't have it together yet. They were bustin' everybody playing the lead role in a movie Patrick Early. They are victims of the poverty and like crazy. So we split before they could get us. The trip about student unrest on lJ-n Ivy heartbreak of being a college student. League campus. Tragedy enters her Millions of college students have been abandoned by back was something else, too. When we got back, we really life when her 12-year·old daughter had our heads together. We are really into humanity now, is afflicted with a serious case of their parents - forced to live defenseless and alone in and this ripoff place can never change that. acne. a hostile real world. It was a right-on scene. Everybody loved everybody and The film star brings the child to But there is hope. YOU can' help alleviate the suffering nobody was afraid to say hi(gh). I remember this one one doctor after another in a futile of Patrick Early and many like him ... for as little as attempt to find a cure for her $200 a week. chick. Like, meeting her was better than writing a suffering daughter. - philosophy thesis. What a spacey chick! Like, her head was The actress finally seeks the help For more information, write today to: really together. We really got it on together. of a talented but insecure epidermist So, man, if you get your head together, like nobody can who conducts a series of operations take that away from you. The next time you see some on the girl. The daughter is cured SAVE THE DESTITUTE COLLEGE STUDENT FOUNDATION but the epidermist wrestles with the redneck fascist, then, don't worry. Like he will never get bacteria and dies when he falls into 7175 Wisconsin Avenue his he,ad together the way you can if you go to California a hexachloraphine bath. Chevy Chase, Maryland 21016 in a Volkswagon bus. That's were its at. Director of the film is Scott Stoned Out of my head. Friedman Spiegal. The epidermist is portrayed by Maurice Capone. I Sunday, April 1, 1973 Page Three Proofreading Not Henle Nixes Easy, Is Delicate Commuter Recognition Art, Flannery Says by Andy Granitelli Georgetown University President by Mike Flannery brain power to dream up layout the Rev. R. J. Henle, S.J. has I have been asked to right a that is innovateive, exciting and denied the second appeal for fonnal story an on la bella arte de readinga pleasing to the eye. The typesetter University recognition by the da proofa, as' the Ulalians say it, or 6ypes the article on an 'W'g'I organizers of a commuter group. as . we say at the A lIege meine Magnetic TaV:ze Input Selectric Zeitung, proofreading. Typeseteer that automatically re­ After two weeks of consultation, Proofreading is a delicate art, cords simpole instructions program­ Fr. Henle announced yesterday his perhaps the most important art for med ,by a professional assistant who refusal to reverse the decision of the professional newspaper man, sits down and types the article the first appeal. such as myself, to muster. It needs much as you would type a tenn ~~~~-::~-" '+'''':::.... "The commuters have intro­ must be that the proofreader (or paper. Then the magnetic tape is , ....,"to.. ,. • duced no new evidence nor are '. ' copyreader, which is a homonym), transferrec to an LB.M. Magnetic " their arguments in the interest of prolixity and redundancy. Anyone Alreln;)tl ltlql laptla'H lndlno adtlJ. ,',If} ~v ~:>". the greater Georgetown Com­ must eschew wordiness, verbosity, reads the tape and types the munity. They may use campus ',~I, w~~ "Yt' of the aforementioned faults can "repro", as we call it in the facilities, advertise their existence, really wreck an article. The fact bussiness, fonowin g simple in­ ~, and pay tuition for the righ t of a you are able to read it and that it structions from the professional parking sticker, but they may not makes sense is the double achieve­ assistant. point "Nine press roman Executive Educational Vice-President Fr. Ryan announced yesterday receive any University funding or ment of the writer (me) and the by 11 and one-half picas." That's afternoon that he has denied an appeal by the Gay Students of use the school's name." proofreader (also, in this case, .the way we professional journaliSts. Georgetown requesting University recognition. (Photo by Keith King) The commuter group. surfaced re;)!l!l;) OMl asaGl lnoql!M '(JIasAw two months ago when it approach­ members of the newspaper produc­ Hailed Before 'Peoples Court' ed William C. Schuennan, assistant tion process, an article such as this Dean for Non-Campus Residents, one would not be possible. asking him for help in the com­ The third and final step of the muters' petition for formal re­ composition process, and one that Wiles Held in Prison cognition. we should not belittle, is the actual setting and layout of the story. by Hugo Black political espionage and "activities "creating confusion among the Student Development Vice- Now there I sahall try to talk in a The sensational trial of a news­ injurious to the best interests of the student body" and "refusing to President Dr. Patricia Rueckel re­ layman's terms, as difficult as this paper reporter here has prompted student body." disclose sources of information that jected the commuters' first request for formal recognition because may seem to be for a professional charges that the University adminis­ Zeitung editors claim the charges embarass University officials." 'The "Georgetown University has always journalist from Chicago such as tration is trying to muzzle freedom are deliberately vague and complain second charge constituted political had a tradition of Christian com­ myself. The story is double-spaced of the press. that Wiles has been held incom- espionage and was punishable by munity centered around residential by 8 by 11 inch newspringt copy The defendent, James Wiles the municado for five months. "He's death, UniverSity administrators paper and sent to the preofessional Allegemeine Luftwaffe Zeitung, has been Shanghaied and spirited off to said. life. " Inconsistent com power who does the shit work been hailed before a University some obscure dungeon," Zeitung Krohn claims that the Wiles case whyile we used our intellectual "People's Court" on charges of Obergruppenredaktur Wilhelm is the beginning of a major "Accoraingly, we believe that Krohn (C'73) complained Friday. campaign of harassment by the the recognition of the commuters, "Wiles is an indispensable member administration "Three of my fresh­ beyond a few paragraphs in the of our staff and we're finding it men reporters have mysteriously report by the Task Force on the difficult to function without him," disappeared in the past month," he Quality of Student Life, is inconsis­ Allegemeine Luftwaffe Zeitung, ·said. "I have received information tent with the ideals and economics an undergraduate journal of right- from reliable sources that they are of the University." wing opinion, has been attacked by being held at gunpoint in the University official recently for HOYA office and are being com­ Ms. Rueckel unofficially is alleged slander and inaccurate news peUed to write news stories for that reported to have said that "those reporting. Krohn says the arrest and rag." commuters are not going to bust detention of Wiles is "a blatant The new Georgetown adminis­ my Georgetown Community ideals. attempt at harassment and inter- tration, led by Patrick Cardinal They already have all the library ference with the workings of a free O'Boyle, says it will not free Wiles seats." press." and does· not recognize his "We will settle for no less than The bizarre Wiles story began existence. University recognition," the last semester when the journalist ------­ commuters said. "We plan to appeal wrote an "investigative analysis" to the Board of Directors if our charging that the University was Demise spokesmen can find a parking "coddling long-bearded radical pro­ (Continued on Page 13) space." testers and making a mockery of education." The University admin­ came around here looking for a This is a filler paragraph. We istration pointedly ignored the place to live next year?" know as well as anybody that this story in its official statements, but In a related development, article is so deadly there's no Wiles mysteriously disappeared a Eduardo Cue, OSS, was named chance that more than a tiny month later. Minister of Propoganda. This move minority of our readership could In January, the administration came as the result of the discovery get this far. If you haven't nodded announced it had Wiles placed in that former Minister of Propoganda off to sleep you've thrown the "protective custody" and that he Art "the Dart" Ciervo has been article in the trash can, so the James Wiles faces his accusers before trial in People's Court. From left: would be brought before a dead for several months. Appar­ chances you'll read his inane Wiles, Director of Security Bernard Gorda and New South Housemaster "University adjudicatory com­ ently, no one had noticed Mr. paragraph are so small they're Rolf Groseth. (Photo by Reuters) mittee" to answer charges of Ciervo's unfortunate demise. hardly worth worrying about. COMING S'EC ATTRACTIONS In Concert April 7 Paul Butterfield's Better Days BRIAN'S SONG Plus Friday April 6 8 pm Bonnie Raitt and Little Feat 1.50 1.00 SES McDonough Arena 8 pm $4.50 $2.50 SES COMING SOON: Tickets Univ.Center SEC not honored at door APRIL 14TH . Stomping Suede Greasers

*all the beer you can drink* Page Four Editorials Dog Dirt There are a lot of things around here that lechery and its subsequent undesired popula­ get us mad, but the thing that really gets our tion explosion here on campus. goat is the way all these dogs go running There are some who urge surgical steriliza­ around campus acting like they own the tion (viz. spaying) for the female population place. here. Clearly, such a course is unconscienable. That puppy or two scampering across Holy Mother Church has consistently made Healy lawn has suddenly grown into a mob of her position clear on the subject of mongrels copulating on Copley lawn. We mandatory sterilization for fun. don't like it. We don't like it one bit. There are others who, horror of horrors, And neither will the Board of Directors. In advocate the introduction of birth control their statement of last July the Board pills for the lady ·dogs. All we can say to that addressed itself to this very problem when idea is UGH. Thomas Aquinas would turn in they prohibited "activities immoral for the his grave if he ever heard that a Catholic unmarred; such as premarital sex and university could even conteinplete such, a cohabitation" at Georgetown. step. Let us not be obtuse. How many times do In our mind there is only one alternative you see these dumb dogs exchanging marriage short of canicide for the University to take. Do you think I have to take' this shit'? vows? The last dog to walk up the aisle at We urge an enlightened approach to the r------.,;;;..R------..;~------Dahlgren/Chapel bit Fr. King in the leg during problem. We believe in education. ostrum the offertory at Sunday mass. The administration should turn the prob­ But dogs, after all, will be dogs, and we lem over to the theology department. Some Even the majority of the Supreme Court could not can't expect them to behave themselves all of the turkeys over there might as well teach bring itself to spell out M ..... f ..... , as it ruled that its use in the time. Frisky critters that they are, they their Christian Marriage and Freedom of a university newspaper should not be suppressed and there don't always show the capability for self­ Sexual Love to the dogs, since all the kids is a certain logic in this simultaneous bow to good taste as control which Our Lord expects of them. The here think the courses are ridiculous anyway. well as to good law. Taking our cue from the court, we will point is, then, what the hell are we supposed The dogs can then learn the technique' of identify The Word no further ourselves, other than to note to do? "natural" birth control which is in line with that it is a word with which children from Harlem, Watts Again, returning to the statement of our the teachings of Rome. and Hough have been punctuating their sentences for Board of Directors, we learn that it is the Then we can all be happy. years. It is also one which some black units used as a University's responsibility to "promote condi­ Now we don't think it's fair to put undue password in World War II because neither the Germans nor tions for Christian morality" at Georgetown. pressure on the administration. Still, if they white Americans could pronounce it properly. And, lately, That means that Fr. Henle and the boys can't don't start kicking some ass we're all going to it has been taken up by the radical white left to scandalize keep sitting on their duffs and let the whole be walking around this place with dog dirt on whomever it is they are always trying to scandalize and to problem continue or they'll be purged by the our feet. That ticks us off. express their disdain for almost anything. And that is how Board. We take this opportunity, then, to And one more thing. As an expression of The Word finally got to the Court. warn the administration that they better start good faith we plead with Ms. Rucckles to get It seems that Miss Barbara Susan Papish, a graduate doing sometbing to end all this overt canine that damn dog out of her office. student in journalism of little visible academic accomplish­ ment; but of high political visibility, was selling a paper on the University of Missouri campus one day and the paper Humanae Vitae contained The Word. The administration of the university Georgetown is not your typical Catholic No wonder then that Frank Morriss and decided that in selling the paper containing the expletive in University. There are many who would like to other level-headed individuals have criticized question, Miss Papish had violated the General Standards forget it, but they need to be reminded that our administration for letting Catholic moral­ of Student Conduct, requiring students "to observe Oeorgetown is special: Georgetown is the ity slide into the slag heap of the lowest generally accepted standards of conduct." After due oldest Catholic University in the United common denominator of a secular and process had been observed, Miss Papish was expelled from States and the oldest of more than 20 Jesuit standardless society. No wonder Cardinal the university for the infraction. She promptly went into institutions of higher education. O'Boyle felt it necessary to take the firm the federal courts seeking an injunction on the ground that Georgetown therefore has a special role to action he did recently to shake up the her First Amendment freedoms were infringed by the play, a special responsibility to fulfill. If leadership of this University and replace it university's action. She lost in the trial court and in the Fordham University, or Boston College, or St. with sensible and morally upright men. Court of Appeals and then appealed to the Supreme Court. Louis University, or any of the other lesser We applaud the quick-thinking and decisive She won there six to three, with Justice Powell joining Jesuit colleges, go ahead and recognize a gay action of the' Chancery. And we strongly the pre-Nixon justices and with Mr. Nixon's other group, or permit their telephone service to recommend that the hierarchy consider the nominees dissenting vigorously. The majority rested its give out abortion information, or let their other abuses that have sent Georgetown into a decision on the principles that a university campus is not freshmen entertain members of the opposite downward deflational spiral of decreasing an exclave "immune from the sweep of the First sex until all hours, then no one will notice, moral fortitude. We recommend that the new Amendment" and that "the mere dissemination of except possibly the local diocesan press. But College Dean review the policy of admitting ideas-no matter how offensive to good taste-on a state when Georgetown University, the oldest women to the oldest Catholic College of university campus may not be shut off in the name alone Catholic University in the United States and liberal arts in the country. If we do not admit of 'conventions of decency'." certainly the most prestigious, does such our mistakes with hummility, can we truly be We think the majority was quite right. The central things, then the whole world takes notice. called Catholic? purpose of a university is the encouragement and perpetuation of the freest possible flow of ideas and information. Although we do not suggest that this particular expression is a necessary, or even particularly useful, addition to the language, the idea that First Amendment notions of freedom of expression can be subordinated on university campuses to other interests Established Once Upon a Drunken Orgy such as "the conventions of decency" strikes us as THE BIG BOOZERS profoundly pernicious and threatening to the essence of a university as well as to free speech everywhere. Horass Greely, Editor·in·Chief Markie Maypo, Production Manager The Washington Post Editorial, March 28, 1973 Chet Brun tIey, News Editor Hassle-brand, Photography Editor Alexander Mundy, Business Manager Andy Warhol, Arts Editor Tricia Nixon Cox, Copy Editor Mac Erroni, Advertising Manager "Jock" Strapp, Sports Editor The Katzenjammer Kids, Assistant News Editors Lucille Ball, Executive Secretary ~i;:::.~": :~;~ .·F· .~~,: ;i:J~~f~.~·,f~~t'~~~1lJ:({?~~~~~~:S0j~t;~~':;~:~~ ~:: ,~~; ~}.f ',,:, ,

Priscilla Goodbody, Associate Editor Charlie 1m paglia, S.J., Moderator :'::~2':~:.::~i" .. >':/(jfltotliilfin~·(jJf)tfi!e/::mrii~k';t; .. :{:, , ~:' i '~':, .. ~~;~>~'.... <~.:;.;';: :',' :- .~''-: .:,;., .. ~,;~{>:.;'~::t~,:.::.:~.f~<'.~:;: ...... ,:/ The Over-the·hill Gang: ,," - " - . , ".,' Germaine Greer, Christine Jorgenson, The Red Menace, Michael Angelo, Kannibal Ken, Lucky Chucky, The Heartbreak Kid. .~:iWe;~~: ..:h~d~, som~~ ib~Y'~: pre~id~n:ti;:~ 6ef~re, 'but .this ' .',:,~ Fit~geraldfellow. takes the cake." .• " ... The HOY A is published anytime enough of the staff can fight off drunken stupor and hangover to put out another issue of B.S. The subscription rate: 7 American dollars or 15 Japanese yen. Address all correspondence to The Georgetown Voice, . Me~b.er., Board'of Directo.rs, ' because we don't want to hear it. The HOYA is put into coherent form by our panel of experts at Acropolis West (Bar and Grill) and sometimes the Journal Newspapers, Inc., Alexandria, Va., manages to find time to print it up. Signed columns ".Fairfield' Uniue~ity spout the party line. The University tells us what to print, and you damn well better believe it. . Sunday, April 1, 1973 Whatshaft: Patrick Cardinal O'Boyle Throwing the Papal Bull by Andy Cleric "Why, the Pope wrote me just vestige of Calvinism left in this area. If we are to believe the grail out re.cently to tell me that the problem New France shall be free of it, I tell of the editorial offices of Time and of Devils has been placed on the you!" A quick slap in the face by Newsweek, the Holy Mother back burner. He sent me a copy of Fitzgerini revived the Cardinal, who Church is undergoing a period of his Bull saying that Devils don't then informed me tha,t all things are great crisis. One would never guess exist; that the Church doesn't sweetness and light here in the this to be the case after speaking recognize them. And I'll tell you diocese, and that he was planning with Patrick Cardinal O'Boyle. another thing" the Cardinal went to introduce a revolutionary O'Boyle is a pleasant man, small on, "As long as the Pope is at concept into the mass. "YOU'd of mind and body, and quick of wit Avignon 1 will continue to listen to never believe it, but we're actually (all half thereof). I spoke with his orders and those alone!" planning to switch to Latin! We O'Boyle in his pleasant- "retreat" "But Your Excellency;" I was know it'll cause a stir, but its a under the altar of Dahlgren Chapel. forced to rejoin, "the Papacy hasn't needed reform." I have been informed that there is a been in Avignon in years, about No, Cardinal O'Boyle hasn't tunnel running from this retreat to 600, I believe." O'Boyle then heard about Vatican Two. He the White House. "It was placed huffed himselr up to his full four hasn't heard about Vatican One there," O'Boyle stated, "when it foot, three inches and pronounced either. Come to think of it, he looked like Al Smith was going to me as a heretic and blasphemer for hasn't heard of the New Testament. win. We figured that since the believing that the Papacy would When asked just what he was doing phone bills to Rome would be too ever move out of that sainted heading this diocese, he said "Beats great for the country to tolerate, he Babylon. Sitting down once again, the hell out of me, must be that could come here to get his orders the Cardinal mumbled something Baal is smiling on me!" Snooper and Blabber through the local right hand of the about the blessed Boniface, and ------­ Vicar of Christ." then he drifted under the table in a Pluperfect Tense O'Boyle's tenure on the Great coma-like sleep. The Cardinal's Throne of Peter, Washington right-hand, Fr. Fitzgerini, stated Division, has been a stormy one at that I could return the next day times. O'Boyle has been accused of and continue our discussion. Rumors and Insinuations a terribly cantankerous nature. One must understand that the Although I was referred to as a job of running the diocese is a by Snooper & Blabber scene at the Grill. Action was popovers in his new deluxe Ken­ "shameless libertine" for my failure trying one indeed. It is for this Well, darlings, now that spring promptly taken by the Vigilante more toaster, when he was to wear a frock and have my feet reason that O'Boyle has many has come to the Hilltop, things are Squad - headed by yours truly. sniffed out by the Cooking PatroL covered with sandals from Pales­ assistants, most, of whom refer to gay and happy once again. The dull Snooper and Blabber would ap­ He was imprisoned for a day in tine, the Cardinal did agree to speak him as "Uncle," and who demon­ winter social scene was brought to a preciate any leads you would have Copley Crypt and slapped by Polly with me and share some of the strate remarkable German accents. close with another exciting HOY A for our squad. Plummer with a white glove. collected wisdom of the ages he has Upon my return the next day, Swaray, action-packed, of course! Is it true that Jimmy Wiles and • A visitor to Dick McSorley's stored in that vast wasteland of his. O'Boyle informed me that these Highlights of the evening included a his honey are heading the decora­ new chic restaurant Le Soupe, "Why, all this you've heard lads attended Whittenburg until the piano solo by one of our favorite tion committee for the R.O.T.C. found a hair in his consomme and about my refusal to obey papal recent difficulties there. "Difficul­ columnists, which was unfortu- Ball? Guests of honor will include in his anger stepped on Dick's orders is nonsensical. Why, just ties?" I inquired of the Cardinal. nately interrupted by "someone" Doug Kellner, escorting Tricia sandaled foot. Henry KiSSinger was recently Pope Gregory VII in­ "Surely you've hear about the fuss who didn't like the tune! Other Nixon Cox. (Jeff Volk, who was seen luncl:i.ing there last week with formed me what a wonderful job I Luther is raising there." "Luther? bright spots included a tipsy edi- originally invited to escort her, had his latest, Laetitia Blain. (But don't was doing here in the colonies and But Eminence, Luther died over tor-in-chief, several assaults (that to bow out because he wished to mention this to Val Y okie.) New France. Why, the Pope and I 400 years ago." "Ah, so you'd Sexual Ability book really should retain his journalistic objectivity.) • "Fat Man" Rienzo, a Weight are on fine terms." I asked his believe." be banned). This year's theme is "2001-A Space Watcher's ·dropout, recently held a Eminence about the charge he The Cardinal then slipped into One of our sources reported a Odyssey". Tricia is rumored to have press conference to announce the refused to exorcise his diocese from delirium and went off on "That highly unusual incident to us. It bought a new mini and boots ala signing of Joe "Needy" Kennedy the Devils that plague this nation, as lunkhead Roosevelt, he'll ruin the seems that Max. Reuckel, in the true Barbarella. on a full track scholarship. Rienzo he was called upon to do by the country," and about "I swear to Hoya tradition, was seen initiating Wonder where all your tuition said he would "add a little class" to Pope. "Rubbish!" said O'Boyle. you, I shall destroy every last Jackson (our new mascot) into the money is going? We have some the track team. Another million ______inside info. Listen to this ... Bob dollars was given to the Kennedy Henle and Ed Ryan were seen at Center for Bioethics. All My Children the Watergate Cardin boutique • We were grieved to hear of Dr. picking up some new threads for Karski's defection to the Polish the Easter Parade. Meanwhile, People's Republic. Delusions of Inadequacy Bobby Judge chose to do his • Carroll Quigley is sporting a shopping at the fashionable new pair of square-toed cowboy by Ken-Aron, S.J. coeducational hippy commune that will be Wisconson Avenue's Sly. Patsy R. boots, disproving the belief that the Boy am I pissed off. Since I have the rest directed by Sandy Sinclair, who played the purchased a diamond collar for Max pointed toe is a fertility symbol. Flying Priest for the Lenten liturgy. Someday, at the Fifi Shop. Peter Krogh has As a final tidbit, Snooper and of this column to fill let me tell you why and just returned from a quick trip to Blabber are pleased to announce make you laugh with my pseudo-cynical­ Georgetown will have to come to grips with Madagascar with his hairdresser, that Lance Loud, star of "An semi-concerned-half-assed jokes. For verily, J the growing menace of SEXISM. This is the Rosslyn. They took the trip to pep American Family," has been ac· know how mediocre the rest of this third year in a row that I've been here and up Pete's fading tan. cepted to Georgetown's School of University is. that rooms. have been promised to women Other Faculty Goings-On: Languages and Linguistics. that were not promised to men. Perhaps the • Billy Schuerman was caught T.T.F.N.S. (Ta Ta For Now in a no no - he was making Sweeties.) Thursday I was playing basketball, leading administration should have investigated Sen. my squad to victory in my own inimitable Glenn Corbett's proposal to Campus Mini­ style, when, lo!, l fell and sprained my head. News stries to annex Visitation or Taiwan for new Jack Anderson. Bettie-Joe Bialaski, Audrey Farber. Melanie Haber, Knowing my team needed me (I have a mean housing projects. Nancy. Drew Pearson, Susan Underhill, James Wiles hook shot, I am a good play setter, can throw All my intelligent, loyal, devoted and News Features a swish with both hands and once dribbled discriminating readers will be glad to learn Mamie Dowd, Max Rueckel, Cassie MaCkin, 1. M. Homnie the ball behind my back) I struggled to the that I'am not dead. The assassination attempt Arts infirmary and they told me to go to the Shaft, Sky King, Mr. Broadway, Guess Who. Old Faithful, which sent shock waves across this campus Mystery Man, Cheeky, J. Joyce. hospital. My vast reserves of stamina undimi­ last Friday was unsuccessful. I repeat, it was nished I struggled there, where a nurse gave Sports unsuccessful. Yes, sirree. It will take more Gloria Steinham, Gertrude Ederle, Athletic Supporter, me a band-aid. My question is this: Why can't Quarter Anne. Crabs, Student-Athlete, John Howley, Stoned Soul. Nags than a water bomb to stop this reporter from Mendy Rudolph, Bloody Mary, Molloy Speedster, the administration set up an emergency fighting for truth. Fortunately for Fourth The Alabama Wild Man, Righty Driesell, Gene Bartow medical station by the parking lot? It seems Copley, my friends (all one thousand of Copy to me that if you can afford marble steps for them) were able to stop me from throwing it IBM, Jonathon Livingston Seagull. Ron "the Con" Ziegler the student bank, the administration (which back. Perhaps Director Gorda's Gestapo Production , charges us tuition) could take better care of agents should look into Sen. Glenn Linda Lovelace its athletes. Who knows? Merlin Wilson may Corbett's proposal before the Library Com­ Business put this place on the map someday. And I mittee to outlaw non-biodegradable materials Liza, Altham haven't stopped growing either. Perhaps the (like plastic balloons) from entering campus Secretaries Student Government could pay particular without an I.D. check_ H. R. Haldeman. Frances Perkins, The Kelley Girls attention to Sen. Glenn Corbett's proposal to Hi-yo, Silver, Away! It is still true that Photographers the Food Committee that full scholarships be Enrico Fermi, Cosmic Chris. CandY Cane, Trader Vic, Academic Vice-President Thomas Fitzgerald Sister Mary Guardian Angel, Tiffany Tree, Roy Rogers, Dali Llama given to cute, talented, cute, athletic, cute, S.J_ is leaving Georgetown. It is not true that I blonde-haired cheerleaders who would jump Art won't have anything to write after he leaves. Yoko and cheer and call your name in intramural .As Glenn Corbett remarked at lunch today, Columnists ' basketball games. "Courageous, responsible columnists shall Eric Serveried, Dave the Rave. PeteY's Boy, "FINK" R.A., Minnesota Fats, Muhammed Ali Disturbing news has come from Student always serve as a forum for those who are Development. A plot has been hatched by Ms. capable to run the University, the student Circulation Count Dracula Rueckel to make Ryder Hall into some senate, and the housing projects on Taiwan." '--______-' Page Six Sunday, ApriL 1, 1973

Letters to the Editor . • •

intend to take steps to restore this meet your financial obligation. All faith. First, we are going to tell the copies of your publication will be Yeccch! Go Away! Henle administration to FORK Oh Suspense confiscated if this bill outstanding OFF! Then we are going to tell the is not met promptly. . To the Editor: Joseph Jeffs To the Editor: To the Editor: housing office to eat one. EAT I am calling the Hot Line now Georgetown Librarian I just wanted to let you people , I hear you have an opening for ONE! Then we are going to tell the and I want you to listen in. Ring. know that you are really disgusting Academic Vice-President. May I, School of Foreign Service to jump Ring. Ring. Ring. Click. Hot Line, for printing all that trash like you offer my name for consideration. I in a lake. GO JUMP IN A LAKE! In may I help you? Yes, you certainly No Shame do every week calling it art and_ am four years younger than the this way we hope to _serve you can. If you don't tell me who won joumalism and freedom of the press Holy Father and have extensive better. the World Series in 1945 I will blow while all it really is is sex and administrative experience. I con- Doug Kellner my brains out with this phylacter I To the Editor: disgusting dirty things like that sider myself a liberal, in the true StUdent Body President have handy ... WAIT! WAIT! Have you no shame? Here it,is there. sense of the word, and voted for Now, don't panic. I mean, listen, just a month after the Student' Ms. Val Okie, OSB F.D.R. in 1944 because I didn't now, I just want ... No, don't hang Government elections and you're Dean of Women believe in changing horses in the Negative? Us?? up-PLEASE DON'T HANG UP! already asking for results from middle of the stream. Thank you. I ... I .. I have the answer if you'll StUdent Government. For heaven's Most Rev. Patrick 0 'Boyle just wait, I mean, if you'll tell me sakes, give the poor guys a chance! End of Era Cardinal where you are, I can tell you, I Neil Shankman Archbishop of Washington. To the Editor: mean you can ... No, I'm sorry. Student Body Vice President I'd just like to write this and say You just have to tell me who won that I think we've been just a little the World Series in 1945, or I'll fire To the Editor: too negative on this campus. I don't this phylacter and the line will just So There! This letter is to inform you that So? want to offend anybody or any­ go dead. NO! NO! NO! NO! Please I appreciate the chance that some thing, but I am very sensitive to wait ... I mean ... Click., ' To the Editor: _. indi~iduals have given me but I how you may feel about this, and If you wish to publish the entire Last year, you people gave me don t feel that the newspapers To the Editor: don't you think you could write conversation, with epilogue, please all sorts of grief in that April Fool's deserve any thanks from me be­ Yoo hoo! Aunt Claire! Here I about what's good about this mail $10 to me at the above edition. My name was everywhere cause, frankly,. you g!-Iy~ .gave me a am, in the newspaper, just like I University, instead of harping on address. and people were laughing at me for raw ~eal an~ If I dIdn t win that said I would. the few mistakes we may have James Wiles weeks. If my name is in this year's electIOn I thmk you are largely to Gilbert O. Sullivan made from time to time. I admit we Washington, D.C. vain attempt at humor I'll have the blame, not me. I want to tell you London, England do make mistakes, but we are physical plant staff t~rn off your that .you won't have Tony Freyre. human beings like yourselves, and it lights and I'll turn your office into to kICk arou~d. anymore because, seems to me that you could treat a dorm! gentle,?en, thIS IS my last letter to the edItor. this University and its administra­ David Trive tt And I'll Giggle tion with a little more considera­ cc: Sue Forsyth Tony Freyre Executive Administrator for Devel­ Juarez, New Mexico tion, you know? I usually don't get opment. so angry, but frankly, I've never been so pissed in my life. To the Editor: To the Editor: Jeffrey Yolk There is an acute housing short­ I am deeply offended by Some­ The Georgetown Voice thing you printed in your publica­ ange. I have just received an Zeitung Folds After tion. I can't even tell you when it exhaustive study which makes this was, it was so offending. However, statement. The study was prepared by my assistant, Pat Grant. I am if you call me ~t 422-8748, maybe Making Whoopee Long, Long Career I'll whisper it to you. writing a letter to Fr. Henle to inform him of the shortage. Col. Albert Loy (Continued from Page 1) declining because the publication's Army R.O.T,C. John B. Kennedy Former Student Body President ed by the Zeitung. image as a fascist organ has To the Editor: Squads of goons disrupted frightened potential advertising. I would like to bring this to your HOYA editorial meetings, threaten­ The editors will publish a small, Right Arm attention. I was walking past Old ed staff members, publicly burned semi-monthly Air Force R.O.T.C. North Dormitory late Friday night copies of the leftist newspaper and publication. Will some join the and suddenly three women or But, But ... bombed the publication's editorial H?YA staff? "I'd rather die," says To the Editor: co·eds jumped on me, held my arms offices in Copley building. As the WIlhelm Krohn (Coll.'74), the cur­ What is the purpose of stUdent painfully behind my back and corpses . of HOY A editors were rent Obergruppenredaktur. governance? This is a serious forced me into a small black dumped unceremoniously from question and one which my ad­ Volkswagen. I am writing this note To the Editor: spee_ding Volkswagens, younger ministration plans to pay attention from a dingy apartment somewhere Our records show you owe members of the staff were pro­ to. To which my administration in the S~uthwest, w~ere I have $1,548.00 to the Georgetown moted and attempted to defend the plans to pay attention. We are been subjected to mnumerable University Library. We have refer­ publication against rightist attacks. deeply concerned with the a steady indignities. . red your account to the student The Zeitung's Board of Editors erosion of faith in the effectiveness John Flood accounts office and you will be announced the paper's dissol ution of student governance, and we Class of '73 unable to graduate if you do not last week Revenues have been

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Someone to purchase 6,000 slightly Career openings in sharp, elite outfit_ the Shirley Temple classic used, overripe lemons. Call Bernadette Gorda (GUNS'45) at Contact Bob & Dan's Fruit Farm In Poor Taste Second Healy 625-4343 WILHELM KROHN

The schlocky story that made the entire popula­ WASSERMAN tion of Philadelphia, Pa. sick to their stomachs Fitzy for a week. Watch Julie Andrews take on the REVIEW COURSE, INC. role that made Shirley Tample famous and Miss (Continued on Page 99) Andrews permanently unemployed. See the star Don't be embarassed in front of all your friends. would frown upon Fr_ Fitzgerald's studded cast reveal their talents as they pick their resuming an active role here at Pass the Wasserman with flying colors. Exclusive noses in the big production number. Georgetown. " 24-hr. review classes forming now. Private lessons , Executive Inquisitional Vice­ available. President the Rev. Edmund 'Ryan, S.J. said "we've finally gotten rid of 'Med Center Tuition Fee $745.62 Class Size Very Limited that sharpie and I doubt we would For further information, call 625-4218 beg him to return. Air-Sick bags will be supplied. "He said he wanted to return to become pastor of some small country parish," Fr. Ryan said. "I $1.50 SES think he knows where he can go $1.00 now." Sunday, April 1, 1973 Page Seven

;;

l / !

The Swiss Mafia: "Th~y stopped at toilet training."

T'he Crimson Tide: Wave of the Future "Hatchet Person" Val Okie chews out an abject Fr. Henle. Drowning the Past

Dick and Thelma in happier days.

"They aren't getting any booze untill get a unanimous vote of confidence."

O'Boyle's henchmen give air support to takeover. Page Eight Sunday, April 1, 1973

On April 15, time runs out for you to enroll in the 2-year Air Force ROTC Program on this campus. And here's what you'll be missing: • $100 a month, tax-free, during your junior and senior years. • the chance to win a full Air Force scholarship (including tuition, lab fees, the works). • a challenging job as an Air Force officer upon graduation. plus • a future where the sky is no limit.

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You are invited to an open house on April 6th from 2-5 p.m. Page Nine Books Four New Rags H. Spirit and his martirium of she merely first cousin to Joan of ghost writers have come out with Arc, Shavian or otherwise? For an even newer edition of their those who prefer wife-swapping and all-time best-seller, The Bible. This incest treated with a gay touch, year they're calling it Outasite Part IV will be most appealing: News for the Relevant Man. The Cambell and Triamond and their Bible Belt's top supporter, Graham wives Canacee and Cambina are Cracker, reviewed it as Spirit's best continually confused as to who version yet, with its tried-and-true belongs to whom, and thus are message couched in language that judiciously exempted from their speaks to the now person. Cracker own plot while their activities are cites some passages as: "Hey, Pete. left to the reader's imagination. I'm going to build a church. Lie More astute readers have poetry down." (Mt. 16); "Give to Nixon have already seen some allusions to what belongs to him, and to contemporary political figures in Kissinger what's coming to him." the poem, so hurry to the book­ (Lk. 20); "I've had it." (In. 19). store before censorship rears its Sons and Daughters of the Auld ugly head. Sod, phantom supporters of the Looking Ahead: Scheduled for I.R.A., and deported leprechauns pUblication in the near future are will be enraged at the pUblication the edited diaries of E. Pederast of a recently discovered manuscript Grimthorpe, whose recent death by James Joyce. Inside sources in this newspaper deeply mourned.

" the Pro-Cathedral say the book is Devotees of the Anglo-Couplet King William I of Monrovia Falls (UEt tu, Pee Wee?") another attack on Irish womanhoo~ school of poetry will be agog at the and artistic sensibilities. Titled revelations contained in these Theatre Penelope, the novel concentrates on journals, which span the poet's Molly Bloom's activities on June career from its promising beginning 16, 1904, highlighting in lurid to its abbreviated end. Another detail exactly what made those distinguished poet-or is it poetess? Through to the Bowels quoits go jiggedy jingle jaunty -whose talent leans more toward jaunty. A reading by the actress the free verse now and then THE THREE PARTS OF HENRY very few people stayed to watch Anjou, the Countess of Auvergne, Fiona Feil is scheduled for Blooms­ rhyming technique is said to be VI by William Shakespeare and the whole performance, because 'Joan of Arc, Eleanor of Gloucester, day at the Abbey Theatre, Dublin. mentioned quite frequently in these Louis Pangaro. At Stage One, scene-changes generally took the Lady Grey and Henry the Six. One The location of the reading ensures calligraphically artistic pages. Faith­ March 31-April 14. 8 p.m. better part of a month. Kikkonnen can only suppose that she couldn't that a proper Irish riot will ensue. ful readers will no doubt know we What words can possibly de­ is to be praised, nevertheless, for his make up her mind as to what part Ed Spenser's new extended are referring to Edna GIitterhouse, scribe the waves of enthusiasm, architectural prowess. was worthy of her. Without any poem is now on the bookshelves. poet(ess)-in-flight. The pUblication excitation and sheer oblivion that The second part of Henry the malice, it might be well to point The Fairy Queens deals with the of these diaries coincides drama­ passed over this reviewer as he sat, Six, SUbtitled "Sixth over Nobly", out that Miss Johnson should have sexually inverted world of a remote tically with the search for Ms. staring at the noble performance was directed by Mr. Michael worn little signs telling the audience corner of England. The only believ­ Glitterhouse, who was the last before him? "Ennui" is somehow "Goldenthroat" Sheehan. This who she was presently palying. In able character is Oona, a likeable person to see another late and inadequate to describe the gripping performance lasted only ten min· this way, we would at last be able young lady who is exposed to the aggrieved poet alive, Q. E_ Demon­ way in which Mask & Bauble's utes, as it was devoted to an to tell her roles apart. depravities of some forest dwellers strandum. We wonder whether latest production has pierced exposition of Mr., Sheehan's talent­ Should you see Henry the Six at with a fetish for animal costumes. enough hints about this triad of through to the bowels of its ed abilities. Mr. Sheehan staged all Stage One? If you do, tell him to An intriguing and ambiguous figure genie will spill from Grimthorpe's audience. Yes, at last, after years of the battles of part two as immense, cancel his reservations. is Britomart: is she really a pages. We hope so! ,preparation, M & B has seen fit to singing basketball games. Played Phaedrus de Arbitraire transvestite and fooling us all? Or is B. S. Elliott stage the three parts of Henry The bclw~n the Y~llits (~~i~-p~-~~------~ Six in Stage One. The resulting uniforms) and the Lancastrians (in oetry spectacle is almost beyond words. red), the performance amply il· P I_ P 81 P Originally, the club had planned lustrated where director Sheehan's to do Henry VIII (by the same theatrical talents were located: on ro IX en'ci oems authors). It was discovered, how­ the court, but never in the theatre_ ever, that Treasurer Dart Westphal, The third part was directed by MY TOYS, MY DREAMS, AND about life not on vast canvases, but endless praise, but for these das­ who was designing the programs, Miss Louise Knauf, notably re- MY BANANA. A new book of on the small, discarded bits of scrap tardly space limitations! Let's just couldn't count beyond "six". membered as being unsexed by the poems by Edna Glitterhouse. Pub­ paper, on the backs of shopping conclude with a rousing cheer - Voila, The Three Parts. For­ strain of performing in Macbeth (of lished by the Scriblerus Press, lists and love letters. Hurrah for GIitterhouse! tunately, co-author Louis Pangaro confused memory). Miss Knauf also Jersey City, New Jersey. I could hardly contain my Harry Blamires had held on to his manuscript copy designed her own set. It consisted I am'really agog - yes, agog and of the work; the production was mostly of old tree branches (which aghast, in awe and in ecstasy, over mounted immediately. have already been seen in Patience, this latest bracelet, if you will, of Doctor Donn B. Murphy, moder­ The Cherry Orchard, and trees), bits collected rhinestones to gush from ator of these frou-frou thespians, of sticks (used in Arturo Ui for no the prolix pencil of the darling of decided to appoint three student reason at all), and large paper sacks. the demi-monde, the HOYA's own assistant directors, one for each These bags were used to cover the discovery, Edna Glitterhouse. What­ part. The Doctor himself would actors, so that they would offend ever could be said about her (and oversee the larger aspects of the the audience as little as possible. one really could go on and on and production, in an attempt to make The attempt was not successful. on .. -), she could never merit the them as blatant and pointless as Incidental music was provided censure of obtuse esotericism, never possible. The theatre-goer will be for the production by Mr. Louis be lambasted for an appeal restrict­ immediately struck by Dr. "take the money and run" Fanta- ed to the educated, arrogant, Murphy's work, as soon as he enters siaM The Georgetown Symphony high·faluting intelligentsia that so the lobby. There, decorated in Memorial Band, ably conducted by much - yes, too much - of Mylar reflecting panels, twinkle­ Mr. Fantasia, consists of four modern poetry addresses itself, by lights and gold spray·paint, is a kazoos, a mysterious slide-whistler, its very incomprehensibleness, to. large sign proclaiming to the un­ ten sets of spoons and a record- The greatness of Edna lies in her witting patron, . "York loses in the player. unique ability to appreciate the end!" A typically brilliant stroke Of the performers themselves, common. That is to say she draws on Dr. Murphy's part, especially the less said, the better. One can see her inspiration from the peculiar since it not only spoils the effect of that such a lavish production as beauty of everyday life - from her the drama, but it is also entirely Henry the Six was chosen because plants, her bike, her friends, her misleading. The house of York it has something for every talent at electric toothbrush. She doesn't doesn't lose at the end of this play. M&B. Unfortunately, that talent is confuse herself with the vagaries of Their fall takes place in Richard-III. not spread out through enough language; neither does she mince Dr. Murphy could not be expected people to make a monologue words, but succinctly calls a spade a to know this fact, since he has interesting. 'There were two notable spade, as in her poem "The Game indeed directed Richard III. exceptions. In a startling break with of Poker" where she says, "And D~. Donn B. MUl1?~~' Head Director of Henry VI, poses with Naughty The first part of Henry the Six is tradition, M&B President William yes, I calllA spade a spade." N!ck, a recent aqulSltlon of the Georgetown University Theatre. Naughty directed by Mr. Gus Kaihkonan, Monroe rushed on-stage (during the Yet Miss Glitterhouse's choice of N!ck was presented to Dr. Murphy by Dr. Patsy (Pickles) Rueckel who late of the Cherry Orchard. Mr. mock-crowning scene of Richard subject matter in no way militates r~marked to the good doctor, "Most of your crummy plays have really Kaikkonenn designed his own set, Plantagenet), and proclaimed him- against her masterful control of pissed me off, but none have gotten my goat like that shitty Henry VI." and I must say that it is stunning. self King William I of Monrovia that which makes a poet great - Murphy has announced that he will direct the prematurely·aged Kaikonnen actually transported the (formerly Poulton Hall). In a diction, imagery, sound quality of Naughty Nick in a gala musical version of Mary Had a Little Lamb by entire Castle of York, Westminster breathtaking finale, he was assas- the verse. Listen to the fine Jack (Off-Broadway) Hofssis (songs by Michael Sheehan and Sheldon Abbey and the Tower of London to sinated by the entire voting mem- alli~rative punch in this line from Goldberg) . after an operation to reduce his embarassing hyperactivity. Stage One. Though this tended to bership of M&B. "The Fruit Bowl": "And the Surgery wIll be performed in a special five-minute production of The make the playing area a bit The other exception deserves banana is Tropicana,/Not Chi- Taming of the Shrew (songs by the Georgetown Mixed Chorus) at Stage cluttered, it added texture, con­ special praise. Miss Patricia quita. " One tonight at 8 p.m. by William Monroe, President of the Flask and tour, and shadows to the visual Johnson, making a startling come- Yes, she is the artist who Bottle Society. Admission is free to members of the Georgetown Hillel effect of the play. Unfortunately, back, was featured as Margaret of chooses to depict her observations and any student with an ounce of oats. Page Ten Glacken Steps Down; Becomes Sportswriter by Steve Tensi cited the HOY A's fine year and the needed obvious correction." No­ Scotty Glacken, the Georgetown fact that only three articles were body cares about me, I feel like Art Hoyas fourth-year coach, announc­ published on his gridders in each as Ciervo more and more," Glacken ed his intentions last week to tum moot cause for his decision. "The lamented. "The situation should sportswriter for t~e HOY A because, fact that only an average of three change immediately as I have as he said in a confidential inter­ articles per week on the team requested to be assigned to football view with the Voice "I'm just not appeared is certainly moot cause immediately." getting the treatment I deserve-so for my decision," The former His assignment covering dorm I'll have to start doing it to Denver Quarterback commented. league intramural touch came as a myself." Discussing his plans as a writer, bit of a surprise to the debonair Glacken declined to become a Glacken mentioned the fact that he coach. "At least I should be sportswriter for the Voice due to was quoted by the paper only 365 covering the league with all those the lack of a sports department. He times last week as an area that Swuffalos Pasanos and'things. Why, I'm definitely smarter than I look. I'd have to be. And I know I can do it, I've got the looks, the charm, and the suavity. What more do' I need in life, know what I mean?" tlu the Duke graduate added. Frank Rienzo was not overjoyed with the new sportswriter. "They have enough of those junior deviates running around this dump - __ ~;f!i,M"'''''-- now, and why they need one more -~,...~. -""'" .. . ~ is beyond even me. He's just doing When informed of the passing of Ms. Paramskas, Steve Mallot had,words this to get his name in the paper. I of praise for himself.- (Photo by Steve Mallot) never get my name in the paper and I've been writing under these "Ned Hogan" psuedonyms for years." Glacken, interviewed to while A.D. Paramskas doing it during the recent Knights of Columbus tournament, said that "'; he COUldn't understand why the letter from sports editor Ken Departs from Post Zemsky had "slammed, .canned, banned and rejected" his first 23 by Ms. Bee Ess Rueckel contributed the $.17 she autobiographical articles. "I don't Director of Women's Athletics collected for her appearance on \ . consider me to be that illiterate," Natalie Paramskas was found dead TV's "To Tell The Truth." " -the coach said, "but why he used in her cubicle yesterday in Mc­ The other members of the Former Coach Glacken announced that he would publish his memoirs. those three big words and those Donough Gymnasium. The District women's athletic Department were The four page opus will be published shortly. (Photo by "T" Wolfe) commas is beyond me." of Columbia coronor reported that somber in' reaction to the news of the cause of death was malnutrition Ms. Paramskas' death. "I've talked and starvation. to the othe;girls in the department This is a Kicker Ms. Paramskas achieved immor­ and they were all somber," said tality here at the Hilltop following Leslie Paul, spokeswoman for the her much publicized begging camp­ group. "She was a true sister and aign to gain more funds for died in devotion to the cause of Hu-rleeing Request Refused women's athletics_ She began her womens liberation. What could be ' campaign following the reduction more liberated than a female jock?" by Hocker Sawyer Krog commented. "We had so able Hurleeinger for the third year of her budget to $25 and two six The Athletic Advisory Board has counted on using the upper balcon- in the last four (Roland "Our Man" paks of Manheim beer annually. Assistant Athletic Director John turned down the University ies of sumptous McDonough Flint beat him out by three lengths The previous budget had allowed a Ashton was "moved" by reports of Faculty's request to hold the area Gymnasium for our competition. last year). hefty $35 and a case of Schlitz malt Ms. Paramskas' demise. "I'm new extramural finals of the D.C. The shortsided, nearsighted, back- The team is up the the nationals liquor for the women's department. here. If I knew what I was doing Faculty Associations' Hurleeing slided decision on the part of those anyway, according to Sarge Wilson. Ms. Paramskas received the sup­ yet I could come up with some tournament. god dam degenerates that run this "They've requested three balls, port of many notable Georgetown kind of an official reaction to this The faculty, naturally, was place just leaves me breathless," seven nets, a jeep, a backstop, Tom administrators, including Bill event. Who did you say it was?" pretty pissed off. "I'd have to say The Dream added. Nolan, the Vienna Boys Choir and Schuerman, Cpl. Virgil Thompson, Ms. Paramskas netted $23.68 we're pretty pissed off," said The Faculty Hurleeing con tin- the New York Sanitation Depart­ Rolf Groseth, the late George from her celebrated campaign. She faculty' spokesman Dean "The gent, despite the efforts of the ment," the dimunitive equipment Houston, and Voice Sports Editor had planned to use the funds to Dream" Krog, back from the Dream and his Flying Circus types, manager noted, "but what they Bob Bates, whose addition lent an purchase 294 pliant field hockey national hurleeing quarterfinals in was relatively successful this year. wanted with Keith King, a sheep, air of respectability to the list. In sticks, 27 cans of arid extra-dry, 14 Fire Island. '''We would have been even more and all those hairdryers is beyond addition, Vice President for Stu­ cords, and a copy of Steve Mallot is "I just don't know what to do," successful, if it wasn't for "The me." dent Development Patricia ("Dr.") My Co-Pilot. Dream" and his Flying Circus types," said David "Mr." Raymond, SidConnors team hairdresser, while striking a pose in Walsh Lobby in front of a "Visit Scenic Bogota" pos,ter. Shipped to A successful season, for the Hurleeingers, means breaking last year's team record of 61 straight Texas Bulls losses. This year, the team lost 62 by R. Keith Moore straight before nearly winning Fran Connors, Georgetown Uni­ against Galludet last weej{. "We versity's Sports Information Direc­ almost had it in the bag, "said team tor, has been named to a similar co-captain John "Big" Tucillo of post by the Sam Houston Institute his team's effort as they led by 22 of Technology of Yazoo City, with scant seconds to go. Texas. S.H.LT. fields a team in But with scanter seconds to go, only one sport, croquette, and. the Galludet sub "Blind" Melon Chitlin Bulls have finished second nation­ rammed home two rods, three reels, ally ever since the team was formed a Brillo Pad and a hat trick to take last week. a tet10us 66·65 lead with one Art Ciervo, public relations di­ second on the clock. "That was rector for Georgetown, announced when Krog got in from the Island," Connors reSignation "with regret." 'Big' said, "and blew the game with "Never have I seen one man a missed touchdown just as Billings work so hard to do so little so often hit a homer. Naturally, both scores as this man. He fit right into the were negated and we lost by three." Georgetown mold," Ciervo said. Despite their neblous record, the - According to University Secre­ Georgetown team got to the Na­ tary Daniel Altobello, the job will tionals because in Hurleeing, it's continue to l"emain vacant. not how many you win, but how Connors himself, who was not you lose. "We have a habit of losing • available for comment, was re­ pretty good," said team goalie i , portedly discussing a possible story "Gorgeous" George Viksnins, on the Bulls with Croquette Week­ whose goals against average, added ly's ace reporter, Mark Asher, to his technicals and double-faults The Athletic Advisory Board as they refused the request of the Hurleeing team to stage a tournament at :formerly of The Washington- Post. made him the leagues Most Valu- Georgetown. (Photo by Mama Walsh) Sunday, April 1, 1973 Page Eleven Off the Wall A Simply Gay Time by Maharishi Yogi Berra Latin American aid program designed to raise Turkey drippings: Heterosexuals organize enough money to give an ox to each family. intramural softball team. The teachers then extracted money from their We "support this move by the students students as a donation for each mile cycled. involved. After all, Georgetown is an un­ The plot was foiled when a picture of Prof. healthy environment for heterosexuals and it Biederman, vacationing in Bayonne, N.J., is time for them to stand up and declare their mysteriously turned up last week. The photo beliefs. was taken the same time as the alleged Georgetown students need a straight bike-a-thon. The remains of the money were stUdent group. We need to talk to them, to "later found in the. mattress of John Tuccillo, recognize that we have confined them in a known to be distrustful of ban~s. However straitjacket of stereotypes. most of the money went toward a new Most students have wedded themselves to bicycle, for Brad Billings. the narrow belief that because heterosexuals We hope the courts mete out a sufficiently are different they should be ostracized from just punishment, such as forcing the men to the rest of the Georgetown Community. They continue teaching at Georgetown at their feel that the heterosexuals are somehow present wages. This should teach them the inferior, and thus refuse to allow them the value of a dollar. right to play softball on the same field. Clipping-15 yards: Father Madden to reno­ St. Paul tells us that: "Because of what vate the gym. Fr. Madden announced his plans to duplicate the Dahlgren fiasco as be sets out to destroy the gym. (Photo by Steve Knorr) men do, God has given them over to shameful We question whether enough has been passions." However,' does this mean hetero­ done in this area. Fr. Madden should expand sexuals should be shut off from University the project if we are to remain a true temple life? We believe that this group, no matter of the Holy Spirit. Schulze Removed how deviant from the rest of the community, Why not hold the Mass during home should be allowed to organize. Besides, they basketball games? This would spark interest ByAmbitious Broad spend less time in the showers than most fags. and would be terribly relevant. Perhaps the animal section could also be used to liven up by Dick Schaap Thursday times she originally Dog clippings: Georgetown professors finger­ the homily, engaging in dialogue with the "There is a new day dawning at planned. ed in OXFAM fraud. celebrant. Georgetown," announced Anita But Anita remains optimistic. Noman, recently appointed 'intra- "It's only a metter of time and In light of one of the most ungodly, After the celebration, we could all skip mural director. Only last week it changing priorities," she said. unchristianlike and mean acts committed in down to M Street tossing pink carnations at was discovered that former intra­ Asked about her publicized run-in recent memory, four G.U. economics profes- the passersby. Peace, joy, ecstasy! mural head Greg Schulze, allegedly with equipment manager Sarge, she sors were indicted on six counts of fraud That's about all one can say on this issue, on a leave of absence to serve a apologized for losing her head and before Justice Robert "Lucky 83" Dixon. but since my editor has space to fill, I'll J'ust stint in the reserves, had actually was pleased to hear that his doctor been dismissed due to his role in had reported Sarge was doing fine, It seems they claimed to have ridden their add that if the University doesn't heed our the now-famous "Henle hoax." although his voice may stay a few bicycles last fall for the benefit of OXFAM, a warning, we will be very upset. It seems Schulze, parading under octaves higher for a time. "Besides ------.------the alias of Dixon, had approached that one bit of trouble, everybody's been so nice," Anita stated. "1 Rienzo, Thompson Surprise ~:e~~~~!o~f~~~~:h:nH~:.!;~~ couldn't be happier." authorized biography of University And student reaction to Ms. l Noman has been favorable. "She Georgetown With , Life SWap~~~~it~~~~~:!e:~c~~~~~:~!:~:d just came bouncing into the office opportunity, the papers provided one morning," Supervisor Don by Billy Graham Director of Student Activities Reaction in the athletic depar:t- Schulze with a sizeable advance, Walsh offered, "and took over. The Georgetown University was Susan Palmer Johnson was "ap- ment was mOre reserved. "We're and installments began to arrive. pink curtains and the posters on the stunned yesterday by the surprise, palled by the mess_ Georgetown goin' ta beat the head in of them Meanwhile, intramurals seem Walls needed a little getting used to, announcement that Athletic Direc­ University has always had a tradi- punk, sissy wife-swappers," head once again on firm footing with the but Anita's all right. She keeps a tor Francis X. Rienzo and Basket­ tion of Christian virtues and football coach Scottie Glacken an- arrival of Ms. Noman. Some rough blank-paged book open on her desk ball Coach John Thompson had ideals," she said. "The spirit and nounced. spots persist though. Anita admit­ to remind all who come in that "swapped lives." policy of the University are defined Fonner Hoya quarterback Jeff ted that her idea of limiting men's there's ~ore to schooling than At an afternoon conference held in the light of this Christian heri- Gray (GUNS'79) refused comment gym hours hasn't met with "the education. And she's done more for here, Rienzo explained publicly tage. on the incident.. total approval" which she expected, my morale around here than Greg how the relationships between the "Accordingly," Ms. Johnson Reportedly, Baseball coach Tom and perhaps male students will be ever could have done, know what I two men and their wives had devel­ continued, "I think this is all a !ot Nolan laughed when he received allowed on the gym floor beyond mean, boy?" One thing is for oped. of shit." word of the announcement. the 7:30 to 9:30 p.m. Tuesday- certain-Ms. Noman will be here for a while. "Our families began seeing a lot of each other," Rienzo explained, By the way, yo-yo season is fast approaching. Entries begin Monday, "and there was a tremendous Jeff Gray, Hoya StarQB '_April 2 and go until Friday, April amount of affection and compati­ 27. Competition runs from the bility all around. 28th to the 30th. Last year's "John started to campaign for tourney had its ups and downs, but my wife. He told me he loved Joan Ponders, Football Draft a rule change this spring will permit (Mrs. Rienzo) more than he loved by Werner Wolff that former Hoya great Bill backs and most passes overthrown, the yo-yo to be tossed open­ his own wife. I was afraid I would Jeff Gray, the Georgetown Cavanaugh had already signed there was culminated by his induction handed, thus allowing "sleeps" and be left out in the cold, all alone, Hoyas' diminutive quarterback for made the competition too tough. into the Georgetown Hall of Fame a variety of tricks all of which were unless 1 started to kick some ass. the past four seasons, will decide Team coach Al Hampshire, upon last week. Indicted at the same time not acceptable last year. An early Mrs. Thompson ain't so bad any­ this week on his future athletic being apprised that his team had a were other Hoya greats including tournament favorite has to be way," Rienzo added. career after being drafted by chance to land Gray, said "Who?" Art White, Mike Geoghegan, Bill defending champ Bo "Butterfly" "Look," Thompson said, profeSSional teams in the N.F.L., O'Connor has also named the new Donan and Jack Magee. Bob Duncan. "there's nothing dirty about this. A.B.A., W.H.A., A.F.L., and coach for his Kangeroos. Following Sigholtz was not inducted. We're not just swapping wives, Hoboken Little League. the unsuccessful five year reign of we're swapping lives." The two Gray, who can "do it all, and Bouncy Jardine, O'Connor summar· children in each family are also then some," according to his agent ily fired his coaching staff. He nameo being split, Thompson revealed. John W. Mannix, is still engaged in youthful Georgetown backfield University President the Rev_ R. negotiations with all clubs involved. coach David Alexander, to the post. J. Henle, S.J. was "shocked" by the As to whether or not he is close to Alexander was offered 50% of announcement. "1 don't know what terms with anyone, however, he the teams two shares of stock and those guys are doing down there. refused to say, saying merely that 25% of the gate (last years atten­ I'm not an expert. But if some­ he was not going to say whether or dance figure were in the six figure thing's going on 1 want to know not he was close to terms. category but the paid attendance about it." The A.F.L. bid, from the Sidney was well below 100). He com· Fr. Henle will retain both men in Kangaroos, the Australian Fooze· mented, "we'll just have to charge their present positions, however. ballers League's embryonic entry, the sheep for watching the games." "Their personal lives are their busi­ was submitted by club president When told his star at G.D. would ness. So long as they continue to Ray O'Connor, and was said to be a be going to Australia with him perform their duties "well they can six-figure contract. "Though," Alexander exclaimed, "1 quit." stay at Georgetown. commented the president, "where Sidney Mayor George "Ruther­ "Besides," Fr. Henle added, we'll get the lira is beyond me." ford" Hayes, upon being told that "those clowns are both on the first Hoya coach Scotty Glacken, Gray would be playing probably in year of their contracts. I'll be upon learning that Gray planned to his city next season, said "Where?" damned if I'm going to pay two play pro football, said "What?" Gray's outstanding career, which more big jocks to sit around and Hoboken had the top offer, saw him set all-time records in the Jeff Gray as he sat pondering whether to play football with the N.F .L. or play games down there all day." according to Mannix,' but the fact areas of most hand-offs to running the U.F.O. (Photo by Flash Bulb) Il~ SPORTS Page Twelve GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY, WASHINGTON, D.C. Sunday, Allril 1, 1973 Merlin Wilson to Leave G.U. by Pat O. Boyle been 'considering this move for operated Woodstock College. In a surprise press conference several months but had been asked Wilson conceded that he would last nigh t Georgetown basketball to reserve his decision or at least its have to forego any future basket­ coach, Long John Thompson announcement until after the ball activity in. order to devote his announced that the Hoyas' star completion of the hoop season. utmost to the strenuous demands center, Merlin Wilson, will be Thompson made this request in of his new-found vocation. leaving Georgetown with the order that Wilson's startling deci­ Citing his vocational goals as the completion of the current academic sion would not interfere with the main reason for his departure from year. team's attitude- during this year's the Hill top, Wilson also in timated The announcement was made in cage campaign. that the gradual attrition of George­ the form of a lengthy prepared The Coach aamitted it is only town's "Christian climate" in statement which Thompson read to the surprising nature of Wilson's recent years may have had some­ a small but surprised gathering of decision which is able to dull the thing to do with his final decision. the local media and University pain of the loss of such a crucial In fact, during the question officials. Wilson remained beside his cog in the Hoya hoop machine. period which followed the formal mentor during the formal remarks. Apparently Wilson is forsaking statemen ts, Wilson men tioned At times during the statement Georgetown and a promising current criticisms levelled at Thompson showed obvious signs of basketball career in order to pursue Georgetown by Washington's emotion over the departure of his a future in the priesthood. diocesan newspaper. These criti­ 6'9" center-his protege for the Next fall the freshman basket­ cisms charged Georgetown with past five years. Prior to their arrival ball sensation will pick up stakes being among other things, only "a on the Hilltop Thompson had and leave his native Washington, nominally Catholic institution." coached Wilson at St. Anthony's D.C. for the hills of Western The Woodstock-bound athlete High School. Maryland where he will major in apparently concurs strongly with Thompson said that Wilson had theolgical studies at the Jesuit the diocesan charges. ------Wilson commented that the value structure and moral atmo- Crowds will no longer thrill to the play of Merlin Wilson, leaving sphere here at George town were no _G_e_o_r_g_e_to_w_n_t_o_pu_rs_u_e_a_J_e_su_i_t_v_o_c_a_ti_o_n_._<_P_h_o_tO_b_y_M_a_t_th_e_w_B_r_a_d_y_) __ Nemetz Promoted; longer in agreement with his voca­ tional values which now must assume a dominant position in his To Center Hoyas new life style. Viewing the situation University Plans as such, Wilson felt that he had no by Marilyn Peterson Kekich Many of the Hoyas were recourse left 'but to depart from Coach Thompson disclosed that shocked upon hearing of Thomp­ Georgetown in search of an educa­ he has asked Hoyette star Cheryl son's decision. Still they feel it will tional and spiritual atmosphere Gym Renovation Nemetz to replace Merlin Wilson at boost morale. According to guard more conducive to the Christian by Franll Lloyd Wrigh t Rev. Robert J. Henle, S.J. center. This marks the first time in Tim Lambour, "Some teams will way of life. In a stroke of genius, Vice The proposed plans call for some Georgetown history that a woman feel funny playing against a broad Therefore he decided upon taking President for Planning and Physical substantial changes, both in the will play on the male team. and will take it easy on us. Then if the large step to Woodstock now, Plant Chris Hansen has announced building and in University regula: Nemetz performed superbly this we keep our minds ,on the game rather than sitting out several more the plans to renovate McDonough tions governing the lives of the year as she broke all scoring records we'll run up the score." years of a s.ecular life style. Wilson Gym. students. The gym has been ear­ and was a leading rebounder for the Meanwhile, the liberation of the concluded his comments with the Following a long controversy marked as the new chapel and the Hoyettes. However, an obvious hoopsters has led a local Women's following indictment, "Beware 0 Rev. Lawrence Madden, S.J., direc­ entire staff will be dismissed effec­ problem facing Thompson is Lib group to hold a testimonial sinful Georgetown and mend your tor of Campus Ministries, was tive April 15. The University will Cheryl's size.' dinner in Cheryl's honor. evil ways or you shall be reduced to chosen as the architect for the not attempt to aid in placement of According to the coach, Nemetz Nemetz reacted coolly to her nothing but salt as were those proposed changes. The preliminary the dismissed athletic counselors. will remain in D.C. over the stardom saying, "I'm not scared sinners in Sodom and Gomor­ drawings of the renovated gym have The floor plans included in the summer to undergo strenuous and I'm certain that I can perform rah." Don't tum back Merlin! Who been approved (reportedly at gun architect's drawings show no struc­ calisthenics and a special diet to better than Merlin." " ever heard of a 6'9" pillar of salt?!? point) by University President the tural changes, but all the bleachers increase her strength. Cheryl will be will be removed to make room for the smallest center in the league. pews. The traning room, equipped Thompson stressed that "her size with the whirlpool bath, will be definitely won't be a detriment. Prof. Quigley Named converted into a baptismal room Although she's small, Cheryl over­ and the-numerous offices in the comes her handicap by quickness, building will be confessionals and accurate shooting and aggressive offices for the chaplains. rebounding. If our summer program Varsity Baseball Coach Father Henle has agreed to the is successful, Cheryl will be unstop­ following changes in tpe student pable." by Dick Young "Dr. Strangelove," Quigley led the a list of rules to his good friend life code and the Committee on Hoyette coach Betty Under­ The Athletic Department's A.L. in errors that year. General Doubleday, who took Student Life accepted the recom­ wood, disappointed with the loss of search committee, formed after The following season both credit for the institution. mendations (reportedly at the Nemetz stated "Cheryl is a natural Tom Nolan stepped down as varsity Quigley and the Sox felt it best Quigley's dream of managing a threat of their lives). In a move to and will be missed by the team. baseball coach, yesterday named that he move on, and the team club almost came true in 1972, return Georgetown to its former However, I won't stand in the way Professor Carroll Quigley of the outrighted the professor to Prince­ following the tragic death of Gil standing as a Christian institution of her success." history department and Foreign ton for a player to be named later Hodges, manager of the N.Y. Mets. 'every student is required to attend Service core faculty to fill Nolan's and a bottle of Thunderbird. Mets' owner Mrs. Joan Payson daily mass (attendance will be spikes. Nolan wore a size 9. When asked if a man with an offered Quigley the post, but the taken by the Guild of St. Ignatius For years students have been academic background should be professor, feeling his work at that under the direction of president befuddled by the famed baseball tabbed to lead a bunch of jocks, time vital to the fate of the free Christopher Badsden). Also each cap that Quigley has worn into his Quigley quipped: "Why not? After world, declined. student will be scheduled by one of classes. At long last the true all, since I'm the only person who With the vacancy left by Nolan's the priests for weekly confessions. significance of this has come to knows anything about anything at departure and the University's -Follow-up moves include end of light as the 62-year-old mentor, all, I'm the most qualified to desire to replace him with a godly parietals, no drinking laws and disclosed his life long repressed manage these kids. Anybody who man, it was only natural that strict bed-checks. In order to desire to run an organized team. tells you differently is a liar! I Quigley, who has achieved im- enforce this the residence hall staff However, because an organized know!" mortal perfection, be picked. will be doubled and the resident ", team was not available, Quigley The new coach added that "to Quigley consented, knowing that Jesuits will have certain respon­ accepted the Hoya post. be a successful ballplayer merely no one else could replace him, .sibilities. The penalty for non­ Actually Quigley has had a requires a sufficient adjustment of whereas in 1972 the Mets could conformance is relegation to altar lengthy baseball career. He earned one's cognitive state within the always find a suitable replacement servant duty or one week in a his way through Harvard by playing continuum. Looking at these in Yale alumnus Yogi Berra. convent, depending on ,the sex of shortstop for the Boston Red Sox players, I krlow there is little As for his immediate plans, the offender. during the 1904-06 seasons, com- cognitive ability to work with, but Coach Quigley will double 'as Father Madden announced his piling a lifetime B.A. of .072. The I'll manage." history professor. He has named staff of priests for the new chapel. high point of his major league The historian, who screwed Robert Ardrey of Bayonne -as his The staff includes Revs. Lee H. career came in 1905 when he "hit many studen.ts during his career, assistant, is hiring a dolicocephalic Bradley, Robert Hoggson, John for a .073 average and led the was quick to point out his leading as the team mascot and will hold Bennett, Paul Cioffi, Arthur Con­ Bosox with 29 stolen bases. How- role in the formation of baseball. practice for pitchers and catchers niff, Daniel Berrigan, and Joseph CHERYL NEMETZ ever, as reflected by his nickname Quigley contends that he presented Wednesday in Gaston Hall. Durkin.