FOCUS

Winter 2002 • The Andrews University Magazine • Vol. 38 No. 1 A Classy Marriage Dating and the AU Gender Wars Marriage After 50 IN FOCUS Loving and Dreaming Sting once claimed that his lover’s “eyes more than a few of you alumni got a jump- Shakespeare, and admit my wife’s “eyes are were nothing like the sun.” Sting happened start on your marriage at AU (or EMC, or, if nothing like the sun” (No, honey, that to be quoting Shakespeare, which is some- we go way back, BCC. By the way, I want to doesn’t mean that when I said your eyes times just a pretentious ploy. And a good personally congratulate all of our living were an amazing amber hue . . . ). distraction. Try it sometime. Strike a pensive alumni from Battle Creek College for what And that is the truth. pose, shake your head and mutter, “All the must be a strict adherence to Dr. Kellogg’s Here's what you'll find in this issue. Our world’s a stage... ” and pretty soon the con- health program!). center feature is written by a pair of stu- versation will move on to other things. I hope you will allow me some latitude dents, Erin and Aaron (amazingly, not But I think Sting had it right this time. His here with the issue's theme. I AM a newly- pseudonyms), who give us a humorous and lover’s eyes really probably “were nothing wed. That’s my wife and me in one of our revealing look at the AU dating climate. like the sun.” wedding photos; I’m the one holding the What they say about romance at Andrews Fans of Britney Spears, N’Sync, P(uff) flowers—I am SO whipped! may surprise you. Diddy/Daddy and J. Lo might miss Besides, it’s springtime–nature’s time of In a wonderfully personal and thoughtful Shakespeare’s insinuation in the line as it renewal, rebirth, regeneration. The season piece, Ann Gibson, Dean of the School of implies a distaste for anyone, even poets and epitomizes youthful hopes and desires, Business, writes about finding love and mar- singers, who exaggerates a lover’s riage after turning 50. Ann’s experi- qualities to win their affection. I don’t ence proves that love moves us regard- know how the “bard” would’ve react- less of age. ed to lyrics like Spears’ “hit me baby Also, Sue Murray, assistant professor one more time,” but he’d have seen of family studies, and Glenn Russell, N’Sync’s “God must have spent a little assistant professor of religion, treat the more time on you” as the lamest of topic of campus love from two some- pickup lines, even for boyishly-charm- what divergent perspectives: Sue looks ing dreamboats just trying to “keep it at some of the psychological dimen- real, dawg.” sions associated with dating and mar- Let's face it, flattery doesn’t recog- riage, while Glenn examines romantic nize the reality of relationship life. And love from a theological viewpoint. that’s insulting really. Heartache, frus- And finally, Andrews student Leah tration, and spinach-toothed grins are Vetne writes about how one professo- only the beginning (see Aaron rial marriage on campus has managed Beaumont’s article on page 16). But to bring their relationship directly just as real are the quiet, unremarkable Ivan and Brynja Davis into the classroom through their moments when love moves us despite a full team-taught course, Literature of Love. Leah’s disclosure of faults. I think Shakespeare felt article makes us hopeful that formerly bitter that the truth does more justice to those we campus enemies may one day teach a course truly love. And yet, Shakespeare never on conflict resolution. resorted to: “my mistress’ eyes are septic “keep it real, dawg” So as you peruse this issue, I hope that green and get distinctly vacant by 9:00 p.m.” you wax nostalgic, that your heartbeat Further proof of their wisdom: quickens, and that your hopes spring eter- Shakespeare and Sting both got dates. nal. After all, those are the experiences that Of course, getting dates is a major priority reminding us of our earliest and perhaps remind us how “love covers all offenses” of AU students too, which is why this issue most cherished longings. But spring is also a (Proverbs 10:12). of Focus looks at love and romance at time when the snow melts to liquid dirt, And that’ll “keep it real, dawg.” Andrews. when March comes in like a lion, smelling Yes—-pick your jaw up off the floor—-An- and pacing like the one in your local zoo, drews. We may not have the marrying repu- and when spring fashions make you realize tation of certain colleges, now universities, you’ve put on enough weight to earn an who once used the word “missionary” as a Oprah makeover. euphemism for “matrimony.” But love does Springtime is schizophrenic, like a good blossom from time to time here at our north- country song. The season inspires and con- ~ Ivan Davis is assistant professor of ern outpost—-actually with remarkable fre- spires, and love, too, makes us dream and English and the new editor of FOCUS. quency and in spite of great odds (see Erin hurt, crying either way. Banks’ article on page 15). Lest you forget, So I’ll join the good company of Sting and THE ANDREWS U M NIVERSITY AGAZINE CONTENTS FOCUS Winter 2002 • Volume 38, Number 1

Editor Ivan Davis (MA ’92) Too Wonderful to Understand...... 10 Contributing Editors Looking at the wonders of love from a theological perspec- Rebecca May (BA ’77) Katie Shaw (BA '00) tive reminds us of God’s gift of romantic love. Brent Geraty (MA '91) By Glenn Russell Editorial Assistant Patricia Spangler Writers Erin Banks A Classy Marriage ...... 13 Aaron Beaumont Professors Meredith Jones Gray and Gary Gray team up in Ann Gibson Susan Murray the classroom to bring their unique perspective to Literature Glenn Russell of Love. Photographers Clay Schwarck By Leah Vetne Gianna Norman Tamara Karr Dating and the AU Gender Wars...... 15 Glimpse the innermost thoughts of the opposite sex in this The University candid “he said, she said.” President: Niels-Erik Andreasen (MA ’65, BD ’66) By Erin Banks and Aaron Beaumont Vice Presidents for Academic Administration: Patricia B. Mutch (BS ’65) University Advancement: David A. Faehner (MA ’72) Student Services: Newton Hoilette (MA ’75, EdD ’79) Financial Administration: Edward E. Wines ike ine eggie ine arriage fter Enrollment Management: Stephen Payne L F V -W : M A 50. . . 18 The joys, quirks and benefits of courtship and marriage after 50. Alumni Association By Ann Gibson Co-presidents: David Bauer (MA ’57, EdD ’82) and Marilyn Bauer (MAT ’75) Immediate Past President: Robert Cochran (BA ’73) Director of Alumni Services: Rebecca May (BA ’77) Ain’t Nothing But a Heartache?...... 21 Focus Advisory Board Love and dating on campus and the “stuff” good marriages Nancy Carter (BS ’74), Gregory Constantine (BA ’60), are made of. Sharon Dudgeon (MMus ’86), Paul Hamel (DP ’40, BA ’48), Tami Martinez (AS ’92, BA ’93), Marjorie Snyder (DP ’50), By Susan Murray

Focus (ISSN 1077-9345) is published quarterly, free of charge, for alumni and friends of Andrews University, an institution owned and operated by the Seventh-day Adventist Church. The magazine’s On the cover: Erin Banks and Aaron Beaumont. Photo by Clay Schwarck. address is Focus, Office of University Relations, Andrews University, Berrien Springs, MI 49104- 1000. Copyright 2002 by Andrews University. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited. Printed by The Hamblin Company, Tecumseh, Mich. Periodicals postage paid at Berrien Springs, Mich., and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Focus, Alumni Affairs Office, Andrews ...... D .epartments ...... University, Berrien Springs, MI 49104-0950. In Focus ...... 2 Alumni News ...... 26 Campus Cache . . . . . 4 Class Notes ...... 27 Editor’s Office: (616) 471-3316 Campus Update ...... 6 Life Stories ...... 30 Email: [email protected] Alumni Services Office: (616) 471-3591 Faculty & Staff . . . . . 9 Email: [email protected] www.andrews.edu CAMPUS CACHE

You have discovered the first Campus Cache. We hope you enjoy the discovery and make a point of looking for future caches. The con- tent and tone of the Campus Cache is, at times, light and irreverent. Please do not mistake irreverence for disrespect or cynicism. We love Andrews University and honor the people who have made, are mak- ing and will make the university a notable and remarkable place. We think laughter and amusement is consistent with love and honor. About the name. First, the definition seemed appropriate. A cache is a “safe place for hiding or storing things.” In a sense, we’re trying to tuck away some nuggets on these pages. Second, we subscribe to the notion that you cannot go wrong if you use a French word. It oozes sophistication. “Campus cache” is something that Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. might have enjoyed repeating to himself. Third, the market research was through the roof! We’d like to believe it was more than just the fact that people heard us say, “campus cash.”

A Frowzy Fallacy A Danish is flaky. Niels-Erik Andreasen is Danish. Therefore, Niels-Erik Andreasen is flaky.

Campus Craze – Love Edition Alumni may remember Beaver Point as the place to go “necking.” With the arrival of Spring comes thoughts of But don’t worry, parents! Your children won’t be allowed to get love . . . but the CC is not sentimental: similarly frisky. Our president is standing guard.

Banquets The CC admits to not having been to a banquet in, well, many years. They

 can’t be much better now.

Flowers  Sweethearts love ‘em! If it ain’t broken.... PDA  The CC likes to see couples holding hands and being affectionate; but please,

 people, keep the PG13-rated stuff behind closed doors.

Marriage  For the record, the CC likes moms and apple pie, too. Premarital counseling  The CC supports anything that encourages people to stop and think.

Pre-nuptial agreement The CC isn’t optimistic about relationships where a lawyer is needed to

 lay out the terms. Ann Gibson  Mature love is a CC fave. And anyone who finagles a year-long honeymoon knows how to operate!

Faculty/student A budding romance would impinge on a faculty member’s availability relationships  to serve on committees.

4 Focus • Winter 2002 CAMPUS CACHE

Fun-da-mental Facts  Taking the first letter of each AU vice president’s first name, you can spell “Spend.” Deans and department heads will find this fact particularly ironic.  When Andrews University first moved to Berrien Springs in 1901, the President’s office was in the town jail. Perhaps there is a reason why presidents from Hammill to Andreasen have refused to wear pinstripe suits.  In 1901 when Andrews University first moved to Berrien Springs, the students were housed in the Hotel Oronoko until dorms could be built. Hmmm. Students living together in a hotel. That would be scandalous today.  The purchase price for the original 272 acres of farmland that was to house AU was $18,000. It is not true that the pres- ent value of the land has skyrocketed to $18,850.  Amount of snow base for AU’s January 13, 2002, Winterfest, which was to feature snowmobile rides, cross-country skiing, a snowman building contest, etc.: 0”

Speaking of . . .

“That's the place we'll put our arms around these eighteen year-olds and say, ’I love you.’” President Niels-Erik Andreasen on the as-yet-to-be-constructed Buller Hall (College of Arts and Sciences Faculty Meeting, November 14, 2001)

“How serious are we about our chapels being a part of our system?” “Get their carcasses there!” Dean of Students, Frances Faehner, and Religion Professor, Woodrow Whidden, respectively, addressing chapel attendance at AU (College of Arts and Science Faculty Meeting, November 14, 2001)

“We need to have a budget which is not negative.” Vice President for Academic Administration, Patricia Mutch, on AU finances (General Faculty Meeting, November 26, 2001)

Winter 2002 • Focus 5 CAMPUS UPDATE

Breaking ground for tively sched- uled to begin the new Howard mid-April and Performing Arts Center the building will be com- pleted in the fall of 2003. Andrews University officials broke ground Gerry Karst, for the new Howard Performing Arts Center, vice president Monday, March 4. The building is made pos- of the General sible by a generous gift from John and Dede Conference of Howard of St. Joseph, Mich. Seventh-day Taking place on one of the coldest days of Adventists and the year, the ceremonial shovels chipped chair of the away at the ground despite the frigid condi- Andrews tions. The crowd then moved into nearby University Chan Shun Hall for short speeches and per- Board of formances by student musicians. Trustees, Architect David Lawrence of HarleyEllis remarked, “The Making History: The ceremonial shovels chipped away at the ground said the building will measure approximate- Board is very despite the frigid conditions. ly 44,000 square feet and will seat up to 800 pleased with people. It will also be the new home for this gift and is convinced that it will contrib- the development of a broader appreciation WAUS 90.7 FM, the classical radio station ute to the cultural value of the university and for the fine arts.” operated on campus. Construction is tenta-

Celebrating Winter: As part of the centennial celebration, students, faculty, staff and their families enjoyed a variety of “winter” activities, despite the lack of snow on January 13, 2002. Indoor activities included table games by the fireplace in Meier Hall, as well as arts & crafts, and Warren Miller films. Outside, people warmed themselves by the bonfire on the ball diamond and participated in relays, hayrides and human bobsled races around the track. Both groups enjoyed a supper of chili, cornbread, and toasted marshmallows.

6 Focus • Winter 2002 CAMPUS UPDATE

Andrews Hosts and enjoyable artistic experi- ences on campus. Creative Arts Festival Some of the major events included a poetry reading by Andrews University held their annual Jill Peláez Baumgaertner, Creative Arts Festival, February 19-23. English professor at Wheaton College in Indiana, a gal- lery crawl of different art showings around cam- pus, and an Andrews University Symphony A Tribute to Broadcasting: Sharon Dudgeon, Lauren Orchestra per- Matacio and Niels-Erik Andreasen converse among the “On formance fea- the Air! Michigan Radio and Television Broadcasting, 1920- turing the 2000” exhibits in the reference area of the James White world premiere Library. This display is a production of the Michigan of the commis- Historical Museum, with the cooperation of the Michigan sioned piece, A Association of Broadcasters and support from the Michigan Place for God’s Historical Center Foundation. People, com- Koinonia: Music, drama and culture. Several musical and posed by James Spotlight,” WSJM 1400 AM. drama groups performed in the University Towers Auditorium Lee III. The James White “This festival is really a celebration of the on Saturday evening, February 23. Library hosted an exhibit, arts on campus,” said Peter Cooper, chair of opening February 20, titled the Music Department and chair of the “On the Air! Michigan Radio Creative Arts Festival Committee. Student, faculty and community organiza- and Television Broadcasting, 1920-2000” tions worked together to create memorable with Brenda Layne, host of “In the

New graduate history Various fields of expertise within the department are utilized in the program. degree offered Brian Strayer and John Markovic are schol- ars in European church-state relations. Gary A new MA program in Church-State Land studies Seventh-day Adventist church Studies is being offered by the History and history, including religious-liberty issues. Political Science Department of Andrews April Summitt researches American-Middle University. This interdisciplinary program, Eastern relations. Jane Sabes has extensive which begins August 2002, includes the his- experience working in state government, tory of relationships between religion and and Gary Ross served for fifteen years as the government, contemporary church-state Seventh-day Adventist church’s religious- issues, and the legal and political processes liberty liaison with Congress. Brent Geraty, involved. In addition, students will have legal counsel for Andrews University, will opportunities for internships. teach legal writing and rhetoric. “The increasing religious diversity of For more information about this program, American society and international tensions contact Gary Land at the History and involving religion make the study of church- Political Science Department at Andrews state relationships important at this time,” University, by calling 616.471.3292, or e-mail stated Gary Land, chair of the History and [email protected]. Political Science Department. The program will help prepare scholars, ministers, attor- neys, and others to address emerging church-state issues.

Winter 2002 • Focus 7 CAMPUS UPDATE

Martin Luther King, Jr. included a viewing of “Cry Freedom,” an This is not the first time Constantine’s work awards banquet and a speech on Islam. has taken such a voyage. “I’ve participated celebration Shaw, who earned three degrees at AU, felt a [in AIEP] for a number of years,” said sense of nostalgia returning to his alma mater. Constantine. An art historian friend of At the first annual commemoration of “I feel at home here,” said Shaw. “The land- Constantine’s became a curator at the State Martin Luther King’s birthday, Dr. Talbert scape of AU has changed. This looks like Department and invited him to contribute. In Shaw, president of Shaw America,” remarked Shaw, 1997, his work was sent to Brussels, Belgium. University and Andrews reflecting on the diversity Since then, his work has been featured in at University (AU) graduate now evident at Andrews. By least four other countries, including the addressed over 200 stu- coincidence Shaw heads an Netherlands, Belarus and Lithuania. dents, faculty, staff and institution bearing his His paintings were chosen because of the community. On Monday, name—Shaw University immediate need for patriotic pieces in light of January 21 at 10:30 am, located in Raleigh, North the September 11 events. The process for people from a variety of Carolina—and has served as choosing a work begins with the curator visit- ethnic backgrounds packed president since November ing the residences of the ambassadors, who the youth chapel in 1987. After earning BD and then recommend works based on the style Pioneer Memorial Church, MA degrees at AU, Dr. Shaw and feel of the home. The curators select setting the atmosphere for completed an MA and a PhD something from the files of paintings, carv- a celebration of the dream in Ethics and Society at the entitled: “Martin Luther University of Chicago. King: Twentieth Century Teaching positions followed Apostle for Freedom and at Oakwood College, Equality.” Howard University, Bowie To observe the holiday, State College and Princeton Shaw led a corporate University. salute honoring Dr. King’s legacy by sharing how the dream took precedence in Talbert Shaw King’s life. “Today is a miracle. We are celebrating the holiday for the grandson of a slave,” said Professor’s paintings Shaw. “We live in a new world brought on by displayed in Greece one man.” “King effected the most significant political Gregory Constantine, department chair of and social achievement in the twentieth cen- Art & Design at Andrews University, recently Gregory Constantine with one of his paintings tury,” said Shaw. “His non violent movement had two original paintings chosen to decorate was effective in awakening the conscience of the residence of U.S. Ambassador Miller in America. King took non violence as a strate- Athens, Greece. The United States Department ings and drawings, and return to install the gic instrument to help Black America, which of State Art in Embassies Program (AIEP) work of art. Constantine has about 40 images was hopelessly outnumbered.” selected two of his nationalistic paintings to of his paintings on file. “Begin where you are,” said Shaw, challeng- represent the American culture. The paintings will be returned to ing the assembly to get involved. “Students The two wood-framed 53” x 65” acrylic Constantine in three years. There is no pay- preceded King,” said Shaw. “The revolution paintings were painted in 1979 as a part of his ment for usage of the works because, “I’m began with students doing sit-ins, boycotts American Landmark Series. The images are of lending, that’s all,” says Constantine, who and marches, and so it must begin with you,” two significant American symbols, the White provides an artist’s statement with each paint- said Shaw, encouraging students to help ful- House and the Statue of Liberty. The famous ing, including his reason for painting the fill the dream, which is “not fully realized.” painter Jackson Pollock, an abstract expres- work and the concept behind it. This celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr., sionist who dribbled and smeared paint The United States Department of State Art themed “Legacy of Freedom,” was a first for imprecisely on canvases, inspired the photo- in Embassies Program (AIEP) was created to Andrews University. “This is a new beginning like images. promote national pride and a sense of the dis- this year,” said President Niels-Erik “I squeezed the paint directly on the can- tinct cultural identity of America's art and its Andreasen. “Instead of this being just another vas,” says Constantine, who used over 35 dif- artists. This innovative program transcends holiday, we are making it a learning experi- ferent colors. “It’s a part of my technique and cultural and language barriers by providing ence.” The holiday has always been counted it’s a unique way of painting. You’d think you original works of art by U.S. citizens for the as an off day, but this year it was counted as a couldn’t come up with fine art without using representational rooms of U.S. ambassadorial day of learning in the curriculum. Other a fine brush, but with the subject matter big residences worldwide. events held on campus during the weekend enough, it works.”

8 Focus • Winter 2002 FACULTY AND STAFF

Andrews’ newest documents Joseph's life from the time he Publishing was sold into slavery until his death. Her Association and is a authors book was published by the Review and commentary on the Herald Publishing Association. book of Revelation Andrews University is home to five new Dan Drazen, editor of the SDA Periodical from the perspective books, hot off the presses, written by four Index, wrote his book of Hebrew thinking, authors. We are on Samuel and exam- the Old Testament proud to announce ined his life growing and Jewish tradition. the names of those up in the tabernacle Israel and the Church: authors and the titles with the elderly Eli as Two Voices for the Same of their books. his father figure. God was published by Don Murray, dean Drazen has presented Hendrickson of men, wrote Called what he hopes is a Publishers and is a to a Ministry of Caring: more accessible view short introduction to A Dean's Guide to of the sanctuary and Jewish-Christian Residence Hall its customs in this relations. Leadership. His book For information on book is practical, titled, purchasing any of easy to read, Samuel, which was published these books, call the and addresses real issues experienced by the Review and Herald Andrews University by residence-hall deans on secondary Publishing Association. Bookstore at and college-level campuses, and was Jacques Doukhan, professor of 616.471.3287. published by AdventSource. Hebrew and Old Testament Terry Fivash Calkins, secretary for exegesis, released two books. the History and Political Science Secrets of Revelation: The Department, titled her book, Joseph, Apocalypse Through Hebrew and describes it as a biblical narrative. Eyes was published by the The story is told in the first person and Review and Herald

Cutting-edge drug Andrews of her work in the case of Heltzel vs. Heltzel University is proud in which she represented the plaintiff, the research of these professors mother. The mother was suing her parents and also of Mark for custody of her daughter, who was initial- Duane McBride, chair of the Department Boward, an ly left with the grandparents during divorce of Behavioral Sciences and director of the Andrews graduate, proceedings. Subsequently, the mother Institute for the who is a research remarried, but the grandparents refused to Prevention of assistant and web- return the daughter to her mother. The case Addictions, and master for the Team, is significant in family law as it deals with Curtis VanderWaal, and Derri Hanson, the rights of fit parents versus the rights of associate professor Curtis VanderWaal an Andrews staff third parties in having legal custody of chil- of social work, are member, who serves dren. part of a research as the project coor- Michigan Lawyers Weekly selects its team that has been dinator. annual awardees from more than 30,000 studying state statu- practicing lawyers in Michigan. Jewell has tory drug laws and been teaching Business Law at Andrews their variance Contract teacher in since 1996 and was admitted to the bar in across the United Duane McBride the top ten 1997. States. The team, ImpacTeen Illicit Drugs Team, was given a three-year contract for $970,000 from the Lois Jewell, a Niles, Mich., lawyer who Robert Wood Johnson Foundation to look contract teaches Business Law for Andrews into the impact of state laws and environ- University, was recently voted one of the ten mental conditions on reducing the health “Lawyers of the Year” for 2001 by Michigan and psychosocial consequences of youth Lawyers Weekly. illicit drug use. Jewell was selected for this honor because

Winter 2002 • Focus 9 Too Wonderful to Understand God’s Gift of Romantic Love

by Glenn Russell

“Three things are too wonderful for me; society today? Jeremy Clark says of helped matters much, even when four I do not understand . . . the way of an the predicament, “The tragedy of our romance is just a PC away. Thousands eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a age is that we’re at a crossroads, but of hopeful young adults are hitting the rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, all the signposts have fallen down.”1 space bar on their keyboards instead and the way of a man with a maiden.” The messages of love emanating from of the local singles’ bar. The language Proverbs 30:19 popular culture are too often thinly of on-line love is unique; a kiss is just disguised platitudes of pleasure and a * and a smile is a :) a wink is ;) and :’ s her classmates spilled out lust. And during the last fifty years is crying. But the communication isn’t onto the sidewalks and I there has been a seismic shift in the always clear. One on-line lover conned A gathered up my lecture definition of relationships and in role more than 100 suitors out of airline notes and papers, she lingered after expectations, but this has not helped tickets and large amounts of money. God and Human Life class. She men be any more romantic. Oh, men Nevertheless, sometimes things do paused at the edge of the classroom, as know that red roses and a candlelight work out. I recently talked with an AU self-conscious and determined as the dinner are likely to win a woman’s graduate who admitted he met his last leaf jittering on the branch just heart, but a Roper survey of the bride on the Internet. (Then he embar- outside the window. As the room grew “romance gap” suggests men are rassingly asked me not to use his silent, she began to speak. “You were behaving badly, even worse than they name in this article.) “People don’t teaching about love, about letting God did decades ago.2 And just when understand how we could begin a lead in your love life. You said God women are getting their MBA’s and relationship on a computer, especially brought you and your wife together, JD’s instead of their Mrs. degrees (as it in the Nethery Hall lab. But we’re both but I’m not so sure that works any- was quaintly put), along come “the just old-fashioned romantics who more. See, I’m pretty confused. I’ve rules girls.” Named after the bestseller, found love through the Internet. We been watching “Friends” and reading I The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie even thought about having the com- Kissed Dating Goodbye and I’m not sure Schneider, the rules girls follow the puter monitor as the best man at our what works anymore.” book’s 35 “time-tested secrets,” revert- wedding!” Watching “Friends” and reading I ing back to yesteryear’s demure Christian singles have sensed the Kissed Dating Goodbye—the juxtaposing deportment and passive coyness in cultural confusion and begun looking of humorous immorality and humor- hopes of finding true love. Is it any for spiritual answers. In his best-sell- less celibacy. Could this be more evi- wonder that men are also confused? ing 1997 book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, dence that there is a love problem in And “love at first byte” hasn’t Joshua Harris concludes that Christian

10 Focus • Winter 2002 couples are seldom very different from friend of C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. choose between a romance without their secular contemporaries.3 So he Tolkein, and for a short time a member faith and a faith without romance. The challenges Christian youth to reject the of the “Inklings,” the prominent Song of Songs is an ode to the joys of self-centered attitudes and values of Oxford literary group, believed that romantic, sensual love; the book’s contemporary dating and allow the romantic love could be a prelude to inclusion in the Bible is itself evidence reality of the of divine inspira- gospel to affect tion, for no church their relation- I’ve been watching Friends and reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye committee would ships. Harris have created this says that and I’m not sure what works anymore. document! Yes, the because most effervescent springs people pursue of romantic love love and romance with little intention understanding divine love. Instead of can be traced back to their source in of commitment, dating is worldly, car- the myth of Tristan and Iseult, God. And since human love and nal, selfish and full of problems. The Williams turned to another love story divine love are intricately connected, only solution, according to Harris, is for his inspiration: the narrative of the the experience of human love can for Christians to abandon the pursuit poet Dante’s unrequited love for bring people closer to God. of romance and “kiss dating good- Beatrice. Dante was nine when he first Ultimately, the Christian marriage bye,” although Harris implies that met Beatrice, who was a year younger. provides a context of commitment for courtship (a relationship pursued only He saw her on a number of occasions romance to be resurrected over and for the purpose of finding a marriage over the next nine years, but it was not over again throughout the journey of partner) is the godly alternative to dat- until he was eighteen that she spoke to life. Perhaps the examples of two real- ing. him. Dante would never forget the life Andrews couples will illustrate the The romance discussion is not a new day! At nine in the morning on a positive power of romantic love. I one. French philosopher and critic Florence street in May of 1283, have delighted in hearing Helen Denis de Rougemont (1906-1985), in Beatrice, wearing a white dress and Christoffel tell the story of how she his influential book, Love in the Western walking with two other ladies, passed and her boyfriend Garth used to keep World, argues that western society’s by Dante and greeted him. Dante their romance alive here at EMC back concept of love was twisted during the Aligheri fell in love with Beatrice and in the 1940s. Leaving their respective later middle ages by the advent of the remained smitten the rest of his life. dorms, they would signal each other romance myth.4 De Rougemont exam- And as he pondered the image of by flashing their room lights. How ines the Celtic myth of Tristan and Beatrice he was drawn from the spec- they hoped this would enhance their Iseult, a seminal tale of tragic lovers in trum of human love into the sphere of chances of being seated at the same the grip of overwhelming passion, divine love. Romantic love became the table for the dinner hour in the cafete- transgressing all social and moral doorway into divine devotion. ria! Yes, it was romantic and it led to boundaries. The myth fostered an idea Romantic love can veil the true per- fifty-two years of joyful, faithful, mar- of secularized romance and an ines- son. We may hear someone say, “I ried love. Garth passed away a few capable conflict between marriage and don’t know what he sees in her.” This years ago, but Helen is still passionate- romance. Marriage was clearly associ- is because we do not see through the ly in love with him. Some romances ated with dreary social, religious and vision of love. We see how ordinary never die. personal responsibility, in contrast to the excitement of passion which was anarchic, consuming and impossible to We even thought about having the computer monitor satisfy. From countless Arthurian leg- as the best man at our wedding! ends to modern sentimental movies and “love songs,” de Rougemont trac- es the evolution of Western romantic she is, how flawed he is, but the lovers Tony Rappette (BSIT ’95) met Dawn love. Western culture has absorbed the see something different. The lover sees Imperial (att. 93-95) while he was ush- idea that love is not worth having how extraordinary, how priceless is ering at PMC on January 1, 2000. An without passion. And since passion in the person they adore. Therefore attraction started and a romance marriage seldom lasts, we are left romantic love is a grace, a gift, a rare quickly blossomed. At their wedding unfulfilled, longing for an impossible unveiling of the reality that each Dawn said, “While I may have met romance. human being has priceless value to Tony only a short 11 months ago— Charles Williams (1886-1945) saw God. And surely the Song of Solomon without knowing his name—he is who things much differently. Williams, a reminds us that we don’t have to I've been praying for, for years.”

Winter 2002 • Focus 11 Tony’s comments were significant as her wings, but you were not willing!” book is a positive yet biblical approach to dating. A different perspective than Harris’s I Kissed Dating well: “For years I had been praying for The spectacle of this unbelievable, Goodbye. someone to love me as I am. On unconditional love embarrasses us, for 2 Roper Reports, American Demographics, Feb. 1997, Issue 2, page 25. 3 Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye (Sisters, OR.: Multnomah Publishers, 1997) . Harris has subse- quently gotten married and written Boy Meets Girl: A Christian marriage provides a context of commitment for Say Hello to Marriage, published in 2000 by romance to be resurrected over and over again Multnomah. 4 De Rougemont asserted that a 12th-century here- sy known as Catharism was the basis for these medi- eval romantic myths. Predicated on the concept of a dualism of body and soul, the idea developed that January 1, God answered my prayers. we are so unlovable. “We turn our deliverance from the temptation of love would come I know I am a better man for loving backs to Him once more and nail His at death. In this way, sexual desire was transformed 6 into passion and a longing for death. her. I am still thanking God every day back to a cross.” But three days later, 5 For an excellent description of God as a passion- for this miracle of a person, and today he rises from the dead and ascends to ate lover see Rodney Clapp’s article, “Does the Bible I thank Him for making her my wife.” intercede as our heavenly partner. But Really Say All that About Romance?” in the February 3, 1984, issue of Christianity Today. In the Bible, God reveals himself as a the Great Romance is not over, for He 6 Ibid. pursuing Lover.5 A Great Romance is still in love with us. Soon there will saturates the scriptures. God chooses be a cosmic wedding day as the Bride, Israel for his bride but she is unfaith- faithful at last, is taken to spend an Glenn Russell is assistant professor of ful. Read and wonder at the passion- eternal honeymoon with the One who religion at Andrews University ate pain of God’s anger! God is the has pursued so patiently and so pas- perfect lover yet Israel—and all sionately. Indeed, this is a romance humanity—blatantly fornicates with “too wonderful to understand!” lesser lovers. Listen as the broken- hearted One weeps, “How often I have longed to gather your children togeth- 1 Jeremy Clark, I Gave Dating a Chance (Colorado er, as a hen gathers her chicks under Springs, CO.: Waterbrook Press, 2000), 7. Clark’s

12 Focus • Winter 2002 A Classy Marriage Literature of Love offers a new dynamic in team teaching

by Leah Vetne

he class originated as a joke dents sitting in chairs without desks That brainchild is now in its second among English department for the whole term. year of maturation. This semester 27 T professors. Professor Gary Perhaps what kept them coming students have opted to take Literature Gray, an instructor since 1990, suggest- back was the unique atmosphere of of Love. The major appeal of the class, ed partially in jest that he and his wife, the class. The marital bond between aside from the fact that the (mostly Dr. Meredith Jones Gray, female) students can earn team-teach a class with credit for poring over love as its topic. At first, timeless love stories, is its faculty members snick- instructors. Katie Shaw ered and giggled at the (BA ‘00), a student from notion. However, what the spring 1999 class, had began as a laughing previously taken classes matter became reality from Mr. Gray and Dr. shortly after, and during Jones Gray separately, and the 1997-1998 school thought that “a class from year, the Grays formally them together seemed like proposed the idea to the the perfect combination, faculty. The department so I decided to take it, chair at the time, Dr. even though I didn’t need Stella Greig, jumped on the credit.” Looking back the concept immediate- on the experience now, ly. she says, “that was one of Literature of Love Meredith Jones Gray and Gary Gray the most wonderful expe- debuted the following riences of my college spring. When registration time came in the professors creates an added career…the Grays’ team-teaching was January, a glitch in the computer sys- dimension that would otherwise be so natural and easy…we read some of tem left the class without a cap on absent. In 1990, when Dr. Jones Gray the most profound literature.” enrollment. Typically, a literature class was chair of the department, and Mr. The reading selections for the course has a cap of about 25 (mostly to pre- Gray was an applicant for an instruc- are inspiring. Beginning with biblical serve the instructor’s sanity). Literature tor’s position, neither could have excerpts from Genesis 1, 2, and 3, Song of Love proved lucrative before the expected the romantic journey that lay of Songs, and Ecclesiastes, the range of class even met for the first time—the ahead, nor could they have imagined reading moves on to include Marie de final class roster bore 42 names. their romantic relationship providing France and Sir Gawain and the Loathly English and non-English students material for their teaching. After dat- Lady, Shakespeare’s Much Ado About alike packed into a Nethery Hall class- ing surreptitiously for one year, they Nothing, Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, room where some were left without threw off the veil and said their mar- sonnets by Shakespeare and John desks. Though the quarters were riage vows in September 1991. A few Donne, short-story selections from the cramped, attendance never faltered. years later, once they had surpassed Norton Anthology, and the expressed Something extraordinary took place newlywed status, Mr. Gray’s brain- favorite of students, Two-Part Invention within those four walls that kept stu- child was born. by Madeline L’Engle. The course read-

Winter 2002 • Focus 13 ing culminates with modern poetry taking the class, also selections, also taken from the Norton appreciates “the Anthology. example of love In the midst of all the reading and demonstrated by lecturing, there are also two writing professors Gray and assignments, one creative and one aca- Jones Gray,” and demic. The first, which Professors calls it “both inspir- Gray and Jones Gray admit is a high- ing and beneficial to light for them, is a personal and cre- the class atmo- ative piece in which students relay sphere.” The atmo- their own love stories. There are no sphere the Grays requirements of form, so students pro- strive for is an open duce a fascinating array of poetry, sto- and honest one. Mr. ries, essays, and even drama. The sec- Gray thinks open- ond writing assignment is a literary ness with the stu- “energizing and mutually beneficial.” analysis paper that can be done on any dents makes discussion of sensitive Agreeing with his wife, Mr. Gray adds, one of the assigned texts. topics, such as sexuality in Song of “it is one more instance to be together, Adding a sense of community to the Songs, easier to handle. and I enjoy being with her.” classroom, two weekly “traditions” Possessing similar teaching styles And so, what began in jest has allow a break from the interpretation further aids the Grays in creating an developed into one of the English of texts and encourage student partici- atmosphere for learning. While this department’s greatest successes in con- pation. Both activities, “The Love common ground makes for a smooth necting with students. Because it is a Letter of the Week” and “The Love teaching experience, their distinctly “studies in literature” or “topics” Neither could have expected the romantic journey that lay ahead

Song of the Week,” are tied in with the male and female perspectives help to course, Literature of Love can only be week’s required reading. Among the spice things up. One student, Margie offered every two to three years, with love letters are 1 Corinthians 13, one of Susens, commented that what she other professors taking the spotlight in Margery Paston’s letters (from the enjoys most is the way the professors their areas of interest in between. Other medieval period), and a love letter react to one another; while one is lec- notable course topics have included from a 19th century Battle Creek turing the other listens and pipes in ethnic literature, popular culture and College student. The class is conclud- from time to time, often making an literature, literature by women, and ed each week with student-selected “interesting and often amusing class baseball literature. However, for the love songs, which range from Tony period.” Shaw adds that team teaching time being, the Grays have the spot- Bennet’s ballads, numerous Beatles “gave a depth to the class that it light to themselves, and students are tunes, and Fiddler on the Roof’s “Do wouldn’t and couldn’t have had with attentively and enthusiastically fixed You Love Me?” just one teacher.” on them, at least for the duration of the These traditions of sharing, aside While they enjoy the chance to teach semester. It is a rare instance that from adding a little lighthearted fun, together, the Grays maintain that the knowledge can be passed from teach- also provide students with the oppor- ultimate goal is to get students excited ers to students through such a unique tunity to become active and involved. about literature. Students, particularly and relevant manner. The combination Their professors are very much a part non-English majors, have some famil- of expertise, cooperation, and appro- of the sharing atmosphere as well. iarity with the texts covered, but it is priateness make Literature of Love a suc- Although they make no claims of the “moment of discovery” that makes cessful experience for students and expertise on the topic of marriage, they the task worthwhile for Mr. Gray. As professors alike. As long as the Grays respond with enthusiasm when stu- English teachers everywhere strive to are around, love will continue to dents ask them to tell their own love make literature accessible to students, abound on campus. story. Shaw remembers their story viv- Mr. Gray emphasizes that love-themed idly. She says that “even now, ten or so literature makes a special connection years later, Merrie Jones Gray got tears to their lives. When asked specifically in her eyes remembering it. It was one about their team teaching, Dr. Jones of the most romantic things I’ve ever Gray affirmed that it is her favorite Leah Vetne is a senior English major. seen!” Erin Banks, a student currently part of the class, which she finds

14 Focus • Winter 2002 Dating and the AU Gender Wars

by Erin Banks & Aaron Beaumont

She said . . . As I walked to my first class of the year, I glanced down been correct in my conclusions concerning the Andrews' at my schedule to see where I should be headed. I shifted dating scene. my backpack and tried to walk with a new confidence for The boys of Andrews, excuse me if I don’t say “men,” the new year. As I studied my schedule, being careful not seem to have quite the mental dysfunction when it comes to trip, I thought to myself, “Which one of these classes will to girls. The majority of them regard video games, basket- have the most guys in them?” Sadly, I am an English major, ball, and reruns of “The Simpsons” as more enjoyable ways which means the girl-to-guy ratios in most of my classes to spend their free time. We’ve flirted with them, dropped aren’t in my favor. Sure enough, after attending all of my hints, and they still don’t seem to get the point that they are classes for the next two days I realized that yes, I would supposed to ask us out. So we end up sitting around in the have to settle into singlehood for yet another semester. cafeteria making small talk or better yet, just “making You may be thinking, “How could this poor girl shrug off eyes,” as my grandfather would’ve said, at each other dating at AU after only two days of school? Aren’t there across a classroom. other places to meet boys on campus?” One would think Those who have realized that at least half of the student so—after all, isn’t college the place where we’re all sup- body is female, and that this might be a good thing, are too posed to find that nice (and hopefully) Adventist spouse? afraid to do anything about it. I’ve counseled a few of my But the pathetic truth of it is, Andrew University may be at male friends who have contemplated asking a girl out and an all-time low in its dating success stories. they always ask, “What if she says no?” I try to pump them As a columnist for the Student Movement, I have had the up with compliments and the incredible idea that yes, they opportunity, and sometimes the misfortune, to present my will survive if she says “no.” Sometimes this works, but fellow students with some thought-provoking reading more often they just continue with the whole “making material. More times than not, I have selected “dating” as eyes” tactic. my subject. The response I have received has generally Something that most of the guys don’t realize is that been praise from the girls and much disgust and disagree- we’re just as scared as they are and that’s pretty much why ment from the guys. This leads me to believe that I have we want them to do the hard part. Sure, some of us are old-

Winter 2002 • Focus 15 About mid-semester I, too, stopped worrying about my boyfriend hunt. As sad as it was, I decid- ed I would most likely graduate with no promising prospective husband in mind. I settled into my routine of friends and schoolwork. It seemed once I stopped worrying about it, I was lucky enough to stumble upon one of my good friends, who one day looked a bit different to me than the day before. After about a month of talking, convenient- ly being at the same place at the same time, and discussing hypothetical dating situations—“what would you do if you were dating someone when you graduated?” was one of the not-so-sly ques- tions I was asked—we had “the talk.” So, over a rather lengthy cafeteria breakfast one Sunday, I landed myself a boyfriend. It may not have been the most romantic of settings, but it was good enough for me. This is generally the way it works. Dating at Andrews is usually the result of circulating in the same group of people and realizing that one of these people actually has quite a bit of potential. But this, too, is kind of rare; I’m actually one of the lucky ones. Yet as hopeless as this situation sounds, AU stu- dents are still managing to get married. Maybe not at the breakneck speeds of Southern Adventist University, but I have been to four weddings in the last four months. This means that somehow, in spite of this mess that we call “dating” at Andrews, things turn out okay. And perhaps, that means there’s hope for us all, even Aaron Beaumont.

Two weeks ago, I received a charge to defend our innocent AU “Everyman” against He said . . . the malicious diatribes of, coincidentally fashioned and just plain like the idea of the man dateless, Student Movement columnist Erin as the pursuer, but most of us use this as an excuse while Banks, who attempted to finger the male sector of the dating we passively watch our dating years dwindle, all the while market for the relational woes of the entire AU populace. blaming it on the boys. Among a host of other baseless accusations, from harboring There are some brave girls out there who will take the ini- Osama to accounting for inexcusable levels of campus flatu- tiative to get their guy. My roommate last year had been lence to enjoying the music of Bjork, dateless Erin claimed admiring a certain guy from afar for a while and decided to that if AU men weren’t complete cowards, Andrews' dating take the high road and ask him out. Much to her relief, he scene could be top-notch, maybe even rival that of Southern said “yes,” and after a year or so, they were married. Now Adventist University. Yes, we could have our own little they live in Pennsylvania. As inspiring as this story may be, Berrien Elope-fest. it is truly a rare one. All of her claims are, of course, preposterous (okay, so I’m Most girls at AU have given up hope by this time of the occasionally guilty of the second offense, but nine times out year. They’ve gone through two new semesters without of ten, it’s those dairy heifers, I swear). Therefore, defending many new prospects, and the belief that maybe one guy of the innocent, hard-working, future father figures of Berrien dating caliber will call has become completely laughable. suburbia should be no problem, right? Well, my friend, easi- Perhaps they’ve decided to hope for better luck in graduate er said than done. You see, the question was this: Should I school, at their future work place, or at Loma Linda, where adopt the base tactics of my SM man-tagonist and resort to we all know there is an abundance of eligible young men. the counterproductive-but-hollowly-gratifying mud slinging

16 Focus • Winter 2002 that often results from such gender-related spats? Or hapless dodo bird, tenacious “Dating Man” bumbles dog- should I be the bigger man, so to speak, and rely on virtue, gedly on, continually and predictably thwacked over the honesty, and forthrightness? Well, since my opponent hails head by his own interpersonal inadequacies. from Lamson, I should hope I’m the (slightly) bigger man. So there you have it—candid honesty. When it comes to And if nothing else, I am virtuous. I am moral. I am look- dating, men are lazy, and we are stupid. No two ways ing to score some cheap points with the AU babes who dig about it. But that’s okay—we’re cool with it, because, after all, we don’t have to date each other. No, ladies, that’s the thorn in your side. Let’s be The boys of Andrews, excuse me if I don’t say “men,” optimistic, though. I mean, if men weren’t so seem to have quite the mental dysfunction when it pretentiously insistent upon idiocy, AU comes to girls.~ Erin women couldn’t enjoy throwing those man- bashing parties that we all know the Lamsonites are fond of—complete with all that “honesty” and “forthrightness” stuff (but virtuous Plumeria candles, hideous facial masks, several econo tubs and moral nonetheless). Call it crazy, chalk it up to extreme of Cherry Garcia, and one of those sniffly chick-flicks (a.k.a. end-of-week sleep deprivation, write it off as my latest “heart-warming romantic comedies”). And take heart; pathetic attempt to pick up chicks, but five minutes ago I someday, you’ll come across that one guy whose smile you decided to take the high road. I decided to be honest. find cute even when it reveals something the size of a small So I’m just going to lay things out on the table: SM writer garden salad clinging loyally to his front teeth. And “Salad Erin Banks was completely off-base in faulting man’s lack Guy” may at length find himself sacrificing his late-night of courage for AU’s dating woes. Rather, it is the “Dating revelry in favor of basic hygienic care. Not exactly King Man’s” lack of intelligence and initiative that are to blame. Harry to Katharine in the last act of “Henry V,” but don’t You see, when it comes to relationships with the opposite push your luck. sex, men are cursed with ignorance and apathetic lethargy, Before you know it, you’ll have your own album of dusty just as one might be cursed with big feet, shag-rug back memories, not unlike those fossilized photos from your hair, or pubescent acne. Only “Dating Man’s” stupidity folks’ dating days. We’ve all seen them. Mom, flaunting a cannot be grown into, shaved off, or allevi- ated by slathering on a little topical medica- tion. Nope, we’re pretty much plagued with Men are cursed with ignorance and apathetic lethargy, it our entire lives. just as one might be cursed with big feet, shag-rug back But before you prematurely lament the hair, or pubescent acne.~ Aaron plight of poor “Dating Man,” understand that his mere ignorance and indolence are not the problem. The real problem is that we dating men shade of lipstick not found in nature and a dress print strik- really don’t care. We know we’re stupid. We know we’re ingly similar to Grandma’s plaid-upholstered couch, smiles lazy. But hey, we’re cool with it. We’re content to sit around into the lens and snuggles up to dad, who appears to be sit- enjoying Tony Hawk II for Playstation until the early morn- ting in front of a large, lush plant, which you later discover ing poop-laden dairy air rouses us from a glazed, slack- was his actual hairdo for a full presidential administration. jawed reverie. The real problem arises when “Dating Man” Yes, the day will come. Soon enough, we’ll all laugh with stumbles from the couch, blindly dons the most atrocious our kids about the bumps along life’s relational road, and possible combination of hues and patterns, shuns his Oral perhaps thank the honest candor of a writer who tried to B Cross Action in favor of some thrice-laundered stick of put things in perspective. You see, men and women will Big Red, and, with the touch of a true Don Juan, spends his always bemoan the evils of the opposite sex, but in the end, first three classes sleeping soundly in a sizable puddle of it’s really just “Much Ado About Nothing” after all. drool that develops not only on his own notebook, but also on that of the female “hottie” sitting next to him. Yes, we are simply relational boobs, blessed with the breathless cavalier of a Homer Simpson-Marge Schott lovechild. So kudos to Erin Banks for stumbling onto what myriad other writers have chronicled for centuries. From As You Like It to Othello to A Midsummer Night’s Dream, half of Shakespeare’s legacy consists of little more than an exten- sive exploration of “Dating Man’s” chronic blunders in potentia. But as Benedick reasons in Much Ado About Erin Banks is a senior English major and Aaron Beaumont Nothing, “The world must be peopled.” And so, like the is a sophomore public relations and English major.

Winter 2002 • Focus 17 Like Fine Veggie-Wine: Dating and Marriage After 50 by Ann Gibson Photo courtesy of Stone Studios, Stevensville, Mich.

mmediately after my graduation Mrs. Eldridge, the Division President’s that she would marry equally late in from Andrews University in 1970, wife, spun a parable about a red bird life! After all, if you were under 50, I I went to Singapore to be an and a blue bird and a love bird all you knew you would marry long accountant for the Far Eastern Division. singing at the gate—a parable that was before reaching that advanced age. The There were a large number of single lost on most of the audience. Finally, thought that Marion’s story might be women working at the Division at that she blurted out: “One of you is getting repeated was unthinkable. At least to time—women who had been married married soon!” me. and were now widowed, and those We stared at each other. It was as if That was until I received a phone call who had never married. One of the lat- we were reexperiencing the Last from a long-time friend living in ter was Marion Barlow, a delightful Supper in a modern-day format. “Is it Missouri, whose wife I had been very woman in her early 50s from New I?” we asked. Eventually, Mrs. Eldridge close to. In fact, I had been the maid- Zealand. Those of us who were in our directed our attention to Marion. She of-honor in their wedding. She had early 20s often discussed how the men was the one who was going to be mar- passed away, and now my friend won- of New Zealand must have been nuts ried soon—to a long-time friend whose dered if he could write to me. One to have allowed such a jewel to escape deceased wife had been a classmate of would not refuse a letter from an old their island and come to Singapore Marion’s in school. In fact, Marion had friend, I reasoned, and so I said “yes.” more than 15 years earlier. been in their wedding. Now letters go quite unnoticed by One night all the single women were The room exploded! Women rushed those around us. They come quietly to summoned by the Division President’s into the night to share the good news! one’s mailbox. One does not have to wife to the home of the assistant trea- A woman in her 50s could fall in love make announcements on campus when surer. Wondering what could be the and get married! one receives a letter. This was a great nature of such an invitation, we gath- Of course, no woman in that room in relief; since I was older, I did not wish ered long before the appointed time. Singapore so long ago ever dreamed to disclose any unusual activities in my 18 Focus • Winter 2002 personal life. A university campus can home from our rendezvous late the you know you already have a good life. be a great glass box. second day, he was met by the sheriff, Shortly after we started dating, I told One of our first face-to-face meetings who demanded, “Call your mother! Larry I was very happy being single got a bit complicat- She is worried and that I was not interested in getting ed. My friend Larry about you.” married unless marriage brought some- suggested that we So much for dull- thing better—more fun, more laughter, meet in Illinois— ness when dating more companionship, more fulfillment. approximately half- at 50! Being older, I understood that marriage way between Eventually, does not make life possible—that one Missouri, where he word of our can live without a husband. At fifty, lived, and relationship one should marry only if it makes life Michigan. Larry’s began to spread better. mother and sister around campus. Fourth, it is much easier to laugh. On and her family There was a cer- one of our early trips together, Larry were visiting him tain amount of encountered an 18-year-old waitress in Missouri, and it disbelief that I who took quite a liking to him. She was important to could be managed to brush against him at every get them out the involved in seri- opportunity while serving us breakfast. door in good time ous dating. Larry was so embarrassed, and at a for him to take off When one of my younger age, I might have been morti-

to meet me in Photo courtesy of Stone Studios, Stevensville, Mich. friends heard fied. Instead, I found it very funny. Illinois. We agreed the news, she Fifth, weddings are easier to plan at that he would call as soon as they told another friend that I was being fifty. You know people who can help drove out his driveway, and I would courted. The second friend assumed you with the wedding—people who then leave Berrien Springs. Everything that such a statement indicated I had design wedding programs, bake wed- went according to plan except that nei- ther of us considered that his mother would call him once she reached her I understood that marriage does not make life pos- home in Wisconsin, just to let him sible—that one can live without a husband. know she had arrived safely. Thus it happened that Larry’s mom called his house and found no one home. She was received an interesting job offer. “No,” ding cakes, do video recording, pro- not concerned initially, but when she cried the first friend, “she is being vide music, have access to old cars for tried to call in the middle of the night courted by a MAN!” transportation. Perhaps the strangest and there was still no answer she began thing about a wedding at fifty is that to worry. By morning she was frantic: What Happens When You Wait your friends and/or your children something must have happened to her This is what happens when you wait bless your marriage, not your parents. son after she left! She called Larry’s sis- beyond the standard marrying age. The “family” that attends your wed- ter to ask if Larry had said anything to First, people cannot conceive that love ding is a composite of your past, and her about leaving town. The answer happens to those past thirty. I could includes many friends who have was “no”—he had said nothing. That not believe it for Marion, and most of shared major portions of your life. As was when Larry’s mom decided to call my friends could not believe it for me. these people gather from all parts of the sheriff. Second, love happens when you are the country and from all periods of The Missouri sheriff was duly sum- busy doing something else. The letter your life, the wedding becomes a moned, and, after he inspected the arrives in the mail when you least thread that ties together so many piec- house, he called back to Wisconsin to expect it, and you may be as surprised es of the past. This makes it very excit- report that no one was home, nothing as your friends to find a male voice on ing and particularly meaningful. looked disturbed, and that the car was the phone when you lift the receiver. gone. Larry’s mom, however, was not One thinks more about getting married After the Wedding satisfied. She was sure that the sheriff at twenty than one does at fifty, and it Putting two households together can had not looked closely enough, and may take a bit of time to get back into be a challenge. Larry is a librarian, in perhaps Larry lay dead at the foot of the twenty-something frame of mind. charge of collection development at the basement stairs! She insisted that But it is possible! AU’s James White Library. But he had the sheriff check the house at regular Third, it is much easier to date at fifty. been in charge of his own collection intervals. Finally, when Larry returned If the relationship doesn’t work out, development for years! Thus an entire

Winter 2002 • Focus 19 although I do not offer, rather than wishing for something have the same else. amount of time that Before marriage I did many things, I had before. One including extensive traveling. But friend, who also many times I did it alone. Now I have married after fifty, someone to do things with. The things mentioned that her we do together are as routine as wash- most difficult ing dishes and as exotic as finally see- adjustment was the ing local places I never quite had the loss of financial nerve to explore alone, like the Curious independence. She Kids Museum in St. Joseph, Michigan. quit working when In the case of doing dishes, I get con- she married, and versation as well as help! In the case of the first time she the Curious Kids Museum, I can play had to ask her with trucks on the “moon’s” surface husband for and listen, without embarrassment, to money was very another parent explain to their child difficult. I avoid- that the “big kids” are playing with the ed that dilemma trucks right now. by continuing to For me, marriage at a later age was work. After so beneficial because by the time I chose many years of to be married, I had lived long enough being financially to begin to understand what is really independent, I important. Differences between people think leaving my that would have seemed almost insur- job would have mountable at twenty are not that diffi- been a very diffi- cult at fifty. Age can bring rigidity in Photo courtesy of Stone Studios, Stevensville, Mich. cult adjustment. one’s ways, but it can also bring per- library came with Larry to Berrien Before mar- spective. Larry and I choose to focus Springs! Unfortunately, I already had a riage, my life was full of many friends, on perspective and enjoy the advantag- library of my own, plus I had inherited and so was Larry’s. Now we both have es of building a partnership. my father’s library. Almost nothing in many new friends who literally came So marriage after fifty is not only our respective libraries overlaps, so vir- with the marriage. My single friends possible, it’s terrific. tually nothing could be from Singapore will get together for Marion was one of the first people I eliminated. As Larry said, told when Larry and I began “You can’t pack away any of Differences between people that would to seriously consider mar- your books! Look at all the have seemed almost insurmountable at riage. I wanted her perspec- tive, since she too had mar- things right here in the twenty are not that difficult at fifty. house that I haven’t read!” ried in her fifties so long ago. So the first task after the Her response was very wedding was to begin to put the mate- holidays, and Larry has been officially heartening! “It was the best thing I rial goods of two households together. adopted into the group (affectionately ever did,” she wrote. “May you be as And in the process, you begin to put known as the “Singapore Singles”), blessed as Cam (her husband) and I in two lives together. These lives, like the maintaining his role as the token male your new life.” households, are full and almost noth- quite gracefully. My family life has Thank you, Marion. ing can be eliminated. So one learns to changed as well. I am an only child, but stretch in ways one never imagined. Larry is one of seven children. Through There are, of course, adjustments. The marriage I have inherited five brothers Ann Gibson is professor of accounting house does get twice as dirty and there and one sister, plus spouses and kids, and dean of the School of Business. is twice the laundry. Larry likes real and scores of aunts, uncles, and cous- food, not just a bowl of cereal at the ins. Although I would have inherited end of a busy day, so cooking is a these people whether I married at required art. My initial fear of losing twenty or at fifty, it seems age makes it privacy and quiet time to myself by easier to accept them for who they are, getting married was overrated, and to accept the relationship they 20 Focus • Winter 2002 Ain’t Nothin’ But a Heartache? Love and Dating on Campus by Susan Murray

Real or Ideal? A Dating Story . . .

he was sitting in the Gazebo time and opportunity to get to know looked forward to every day. when a girlfriend introduced one another on a deeper level, and in By the next Christmas, the relation- S her to a young man. There was one of those conversations he asked ship developed to the point of talking nothing more than that brief introduc- her to be his “girlfriend.” Her immedi- about marriage. Now being well- tion. But then she would see him on ate reply was, “I’ll campus and would say, “Hi!” He think about it.” She thought, “Ah-ha, she likes me.” He thought about it and didn’t know that as a new freshman agreed. Their new sta- on campus she had decided to say tus was “weird” for hello to everyone she met. their friends, as they He would sometimes stop by the had not been a part of table where she was eating in the cafe- the growing comfort- teria, and he enjoyed talking with her. ableness between this One fall day, they found themselves young man and together with a group of other stu- woman. dents picking apples. Then just before Spring break found Thanksgiving vacation she called him, him going home to and he thought, “Ah-ha, she likes me.” meet her family, and She asked if he was going to eat in the then that summer they cafeteria. He was. They did. Then the worked together at a youth camp on acquainted with her family from the first email messages were exchanged. the east coast. It was a turning point in previous summer, he felt accepted and There wasn’t a fast and furious their relationship, as they recall devel- enjoyed being with them. He planned exchange of oping a real to do the proposal the right way, and messages, but He thought, “Ah-ha, she likes me.” sense of trust. that included asking her father for per- that was the They realized mission to marry his daughter. The beginning. that they opportunity came when he was at her By December they were still not dat- could be responsible for the campers house, but he “chickened out.” ing, but he did ask her to the banquet. and see one another every day, but that A few days later, they flew out to his She had decided not to date her first they didn’t have to always be together. home for the New Year’s holiday and year of college as she wanted to be When they were off duty from camp her first meeting with his family. She focused on her studies, but she accept- responsibilities, they both enjoyed felt welcomed and actually over- ed his invitation. The conversation being with her family who lived near- whelmed by his parents and sister’s that evening was easy and the time by. quick acceptance of her. By now they together was nice, they both agreed. Returning to Andrews for the fall had been hearing about her for two After that evening, they talked and term, they felt more secure with one years. She also recalls that this time decided not to start a dating relation- another, knowing the other wasn’t she didn’t say, “I’ll think about it,” ship at that time. going to “go away.” Ironically, that when he romantically but nervously However, during Christmas vaca- security gave them the freedom to be proposed on New Year’s Eve. tion, they talked on the phone every with their wider circle of friends. As another spring approached, they day. “It drove our families nuts!” they Worship together in the Student made plans for a December wedding. recall. These conversations gave them Center became something they both They arranged for premarital counsel-

Winter 2002 • Focus 21 ing with the campus chaplain and con- married couples, are those who: are support, commitment, friendship and tinued to develop and strengthen their realistic about the challenges of mar- tenderness. Dating and married cou- relationship, each continuing to seek riage, are satisfied with how they talk ples can both experience many differ- God’s plan for their lives and continu- with one another, resolve conflicts well, ent qualities of love, but there are com- ing as students at Andrews University. feel good about the personality of their mon distinctions. Love for dating and Could this couple be for real? partner, agree on religious and ethical engaged couples typically contains issues, have similar ideas about their more physical attraction, intimacy and Relationship Cornerstones duties and responsibilities in the rela- passion, while love for married couples Even though many today are jaded tionship and household, and have a tends to contain more commitment and by the hard realities of romances gone affection.5 One of sour, hearts broken, marriages ended, the reasons newly- we still pay attention to love and wed couples find romance. Anticipating Valentine’s that love diminishes Day, local newspapers encourage and marriage is so readers to send their most romantic difficult is that they “how we met” stories for publication. typically are too ide- Ann Landers’ readers send in letters alistic. describing the unusual ways couples Most people think meet. Television producers go to great of love as the thing lengths and expense to set up roman- that is most likely to tic first dates, showing revealing vid- make them happy. eos of a couple’s first encounter A determinedly ide- together. Magazine headlines contin- alized relationship ue to entice us. In fact, so much has cannot permit much been written about love and romance honesty and even that there almost seems to be an over- less reality, accord- emphasis of it in our society. Although good balance of individual and joint ing to Frank Pittman. He suggests that love is indeed a powerful emotion, we leisure activities.2 Happy couples are marriage is not about being in love. It know it’s idealistic to think that love is also significantly similar in general is about the agreement to love one all you need. activity, friendliness and personal rela- another. First learning the skills of Dating can provide companionship, tionships.3 friendship builds a foundation for mar- romance, excitement, recreation and A powerful element of a healthy ried love. “We dare not fall in love in fun, but it can also be a serious and long-term relationship is the emotional order to be made happy.” Once people costly enterprise. Dating produces a lot health of both people. For this to hap- are past the point of having to appear of anxiety, usually related to one’s con- pen, a couple needs to become authen- ideal to each other, once they overcome cern about the kind of impression one tic. According to Neil Clark Warren, “If their blindness to each other’s weak- is making. Also, issues of power, a person has experienced true uncondi- nesses, reality can be noticed, negotiat- manipulation and control become tional love; and if he or she has worked ed, and faced together.6 apparent in dating relationships and hard to make authentic decisions about Two areas of potential strength for are danger signs that are all too often every aspect of life, you have found an marriage relationships are common ignored in the quest for an intimate emotionally healthy person.”4 Verbal educational goals and achievement and relationship. intimacy, more often mentioned by similar levels of intelligence; thus the Any developing relationship creates women than men, is another crucial college campus is a good place to meet expectations and raises hopes, and one factor in building a lifetime partner- a future spouse. When seeing someone of the most on a daily basis, in a college envi- important quali- Dating can provide companionship, romance, ronment, one can easily see how ties that any per- excitement, recreation and fun, but it can also be their partner relates to friends, pro- son brings to a fessors, work supervisors and many relationship is a serious and costly enterprise. others. It is also an opportunity to good judgment.1 observe if a person is dependable, Yet, beyond judgment, several attri- ship. In today’s model of companion- how they handle responsibilities, if they butes of relationships have been found ship marriages, for some, it may be the are punctual, organized, orderly in their to be highly predictive of couples’ mar- most important “must-have” of all. dorm room, apartment, car or personal ital satisfaction. Happy premarital cou- Love contains many elements includ- study space, if they remember impor- ples, who generally become happily ing passion, romance, respect, jealousy, tant dates, and if they are comfortable

22 Focus • Winter 2002 with their dating partner’s appearance and personal hygiene. A person’s level of energy, both physical and emotional, is also important. These are all areas where conflicts arise in marriage rela- tionships.7 I would suggest that the college cam- pus is an ideal place to develop these important aspects of a love relation- ship. And it happens at Andrews University.

The “Real Thing” You may be wondering if the couple described above could be real people at Andrews. Yes they are! This couple built a strong foundation for their rela- tionship. Their approach to dating and eventually marriage may not parallel the media’s depiction of a wild, pas- sionate, romantic courtship. But that is not to say there hasn’t been passion and romance. The important thing is December 28, 2001, and will graduate the “stuff” good marriages are built that they took the time to really know together from Andrews University this from. one another, their friends and their coming May. I asked this newlywed I have found that love relationships families before even talking about mar- couple, “What’s the best thing about can be tenaciously strong and yet incredibly fragile at the same time. Being intentionally committed to the person, to marriage, to being an authentic person ourselves, and to serving the right God—these are the cornerstones of a lifetime relationship to another person.

1 Warren, N. C., (1999). How to know if someone is worth pursuing in two dates or less. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, p. 69. 2 Olson, D., DeFrain, J., & Olson, A. (1999). Building relationships: Developing skills for life. Minneapolis, MN: Life Innovations, Inc., pp. 57-60. 3 Blum, J.S., & Mehrabian, A. (1999). Personality and temperament correlates of marital satisfaction. Journal of Personality, 67, 93-125. 4 Warren, op. cit., p. 122. 5 Olson, DeFrain, & Olson, op. cit, p. 85. 6 Pittman, F. (1998). Grow up: How taking responsi- bility can make you a happy adult. NY: St. Martin’s Griffin., pp. 261-262. 7 Warren, op. cit. riage. They became authentic to one being married?” They replied, another. They studied, worshiped and “Walking home together.” “Waking up Susan Murray is assistant professor played together. They sought guidance next to one another.” “Learning to live of family studies. from older, more experienced people. together.” And those are the small They built a relationship with open steps that lead to lifelong intimacy, the eyes, faced differences and planned for glue that holds a relationship together their marriage, not just their wedding. when life circumstances bring new Jonathan and Sheila were married on challenges. In my opinion, they have

Winter 2002 • Focus 23

Next Ad 3/29/02 10:33 AM Page 1

Alumni In many ways we count on Homecoming faith-based Adventist education Weekend to set the course. Come get reacquainted with your alma April 18-21, 2002 mater and observe the future first-hand. Of course alumni It’s been a wonderful year of homecoming weekend is always activities commemorating 100 ne a time for fellowship with years in Berrien Springs. It’s friends and lots of fun. You always inspiring to look back at won’t want to miss the following the Providential leading in our activities! Here is a synopsis of past–but what’s NEXT? xt the events planned:

Thursday, April 18 12:00 noon - 2 pm House or the Food Service Office. houses, submitted for this annual 1:30 - 5 pm Robert Wilkins Retirement Golden Hearts Club (those who competition, will be auctioned. General Registration Recognition Activity Luncheon have graduated 50 years ago or Proceeds change lives in Bolivia. Pick up a weekend program, ren- $15 per person, reservation more) will meet in the Wolverine dezvous with old friends on our required. Contact William Mutch, Room of the cafeteria. 9 pm deck, purchase tickets, get your Department of Chemistry and One More Birthday Party! name tag, browse through old Biochemistry, via phone 2 - 4 pm Entertainment, special appear- Cardinals. (616-471-3248), e-mail Campus Trolley Tours ances and presentations by people [email protected] or snail mail. we all know and love, and birth- 6 pm 2 - 5 pm day cake (of course). Be a part of Gala Alumni Banquet 6 pm Spectrometer Demonstrations our campus history! Cafeteria Centennial Homecoming Parade FT-NMR Laboratory $12 - tickets available at the Floats and clowns, kids and bal- Alumni House or at the door. loons, honor classes and faculty. Sabbath Afternoon Events Sunday, April 21 There will be lots of good food, We love a parade! More than A variety of campus activities are 8 - 9:30 am nostalgic entertainment and we’ll $500 in prize money. planned between 2 and 6 pm: Agriculture Alumni Breakfast pay tribute to this year’s Honored exhibit & video presentation in Alumni. The university’s com- 7 pm Harrigan Hall, Seminary open 8:30-10 am memorative history book will also “Ring Out the Centennial” house, tours of the archaeological “Breakfast with the be unveiled. museum, natural history museum School of Business Deans” 7:30 pm and greenhouse, self-guided tour International Flag-Raising of the farm, tour of Adventist 8:30 am Friday, April 19 Ceremony Information Ministry, and a cam- Planned Giving Reception 9 am – noon pus walking tour. Robert Wilkins Retirement 8 pm 9 am Recognition Activity Vespers 3 - 6 pm 5K Fun Run/Walk Scientific Symposium–presenta- “100 Outstanding Andrews Bird House Exhibit (Registration fee) tions by department alumni. Women” presentation & Student Projects 11 am 9 am (Michigan time) 4 pm Donor Recognition Wes Christiansen Memorial Sabbath, April 20 Rose Hill Cemetery Tour Golf Outing 8:30 am 2 pm Blackthorn Golf Club, South Nursing Alumni Breakfast 4:30 pm Mission Airplane Rides! Bend, Indiana Social Work Dept. Mixer Green Fees and lunch - $100 - 8:30 am & 11:20 am Pre-registration is a must! The Church at Worship 5:30 pm For complete information Four Man/Woman Scramble, PMC Alumni Salad Supper on event details and Dwight K. Nelson, speaker and a & Class Reunion Photos three flights. Lunch follows the locations, visit the alumni tournament to award prizes and congregational hymn festival. plan for future golf outings. 8 pm website at 1 pm Sabbath Evening Vespers www.andrews.edu/alumni 10 am Reunion Dinners and click on Homecoming Campus Bus Tour Cafeteria, Campus Center 9 pm 2002! The cafeteria will only accept Annual Birdhouse Competition 10 am – noon credit cards on Sabbath. If you & Auction Dairy Tours wish to pay in advance for your Architecture Resource Center meal, please do so at the Alumni Decorative and functional bird- ALUMNI NEWS

or information about news and events at Andrews University, please call 1-800-253-2874 or visit us on Fthe Web at www.andrews.edu. Click on “HEADLINES.”

It’s been a busy fall and winter season with friends, as well as doing some pro- enjoyed their fellowship with each other with many alumni events and gatherings fessional networking. and with Dr. Andreasen. around the country. Jan. 31—Palm Desert Feb. 9—Hinsdale Oct. 27—Fall Bonfire—Local alumni Warren and Joane Minder organized a Sixty alumni enjoyed a wonderful break- We couldn't have asked for a more pleas- wonderful potluck supper for Andrews fast together, provided by friends at ant evening for the Second Annual Fall alumni living in Palm Desert, Calif. Dr. Hinsdale Hospital, and then spent their Bonfire for local alumni held in the back- Andreasen, Dan Tilstra, and Sharon Sabbath School time learning about the yard of the Alumni House. The bonfire Terrell were present to update alumni was roaring hot, Mickey Kutzner about their campus and their friends at arranged for a couple of vocal solos, Andrews. along with blue grass instrumental num- bers, and Josef Greig told campfire sto- Feb. 1—Glendale ries. Since the huge bonfire was so hot, Catherine Lang-Titus and her husband, having a separate grill for 'smores Ed Titus, hosted a lovely evening of fel- worked well, and people enjoyed the lowship in their home in Glendale. snacks—especially the chocolate bars! There were about 100 people attending Feb. 2—Loma Linda with an excellent cross section of young Loma Linda area alumni met for a conti- alums with kids, single alums, old nental breakfast and to study their alums, faculty with spouses, etc. Many Sabbath School Lesson with Dr. alumni expressed pleasure at the infor- Andreasen as the teacher. Lennart and mality and relaxed feeling of the event Beverly Olson provided music for the Glendale alums and several suggested we do it more often!! history of their alma mater through a Power Point presentation given by Nov. 30—Collegedale Rebecca May of the Alumni Office. A loyal group of Andrews alumni gath- Alumni also were inspired to hear from ered for a Friday evening potluck at the current student, Lawrence Galera, a Collegedale SDA Church, preceding an member of the University Singers who exciting vesper concert by the Andrews traveled with the Singers to Zimbabwe University Singers. We exchanged stories during the summer of 2001. The church about our campus history as we dis- service following was presented by the cussed the Centennial of the move of our University Singers. They were warmly alma mater from Battle Creek to Berrien welcomed by Hinsdale pastor, John Springs. At the vesper concert, the Rapp, and the rest of the Hinsdale University Singers received a standing congregation. Bev and Lennart Olson with Dr. Andreasen ovation for an excellent performance of their repertoire, inspired by their minis- try and concert tour to Zimbabwe in the Sabbath School. summer of 2001. Feb. 4—La Sierra Dec. 1—Atlanta Dan Tilstra and Dr. Andreasen host- The University Singers were invited to ed a happy group of alumni in the provide the worship music at the Atlanta La Sierra University cafeteria. North church, followed by a potluck Alumni were full of questions, and lunch for the Singers and Andrews alum- enjoyed a soup supper together. ni. Feb. 7—Roseville Jan. 24—Detroit Young Alumni Thanks to Paul and Shelley Stokstad Twenty-two happy alumni enjoyed din- for their initiative to build up a won- ner together at Macaroni Grill in Livonia. derful, loyal group of alumni for an They were interested in hearing news annual meeting. The group met at about their alma mater, and catching up Adventist Health headquarters, and Sacramento alums

26 Focus • Winter 2002 CLASS NOTES

Golden Hearts Club ing. He now lives in Banning, Norma Klein Dagnelli the high school, and spoke in CA, with his wife, Norma. (Diploma ‘60) teaches private local churches. Special Note: Alumni who piano, organ and keyboard have graduated more than 50 Lawrence H. Spiler (BA ‘52) lessons in Long Island, NY. Philip A. Lewis (BA ‘61) years ago are automatically is a dentist living in Ft. She finished a Bachelor of works for SOBRAN members of the Golden Lauderdale, Fla. He has two Arts and a Bachelor of Science Laboratory in Cincinnati, Hearts Club, a tradition sons. degree from Long Island Ohio, and recently published which was instituted at University. Norma also serves a paper in the journal Homecoming 1999. Dr. as church organist, pianist Northeastern Naturalist. The Dwain Ford has been orga- and Sabbath School title of his paper is 1950s nizing a volunteer committee Superintendent. She has one “Perspectives on Use of a to develop programs and ser- daughter, Andrea Dagnelli Multimetric Lake vices for this auspicious Helen L. Linnell-Brown Cristobal. Bioassessment Integrity Index group of Alumni. The name (BSN ‘53) and her husband using Benthic Golden Hearts was chosen have a natural-food store in Johnson S. Christian (MA Macroinvertebrates.” because gold is a beautiful Hermitage, PA. They have ‘61) retired after 41 years of and valuable substance and four grown children. service in the educational Rose Ellen (Oaks) Paden (BS hearts connote a fond rela- work of the SDA church. He ‘68, MAT ‘84) is in her 33rd tionship. New members John S. Wang (BA ‘56) is a and his wife, Hannah Jessie, year of teaching in SDA receive their Golden Heart civilian radiologist for the live in Jessup, MD. Schools. She cur- pin at their 50th class U.S. Army in Ft. Hood, Texas. Recently, on a volun- rently teaches in reunion. Golden Hearts will teer assignment from Petersen begin communicating infor- the General Elementary in mation through FOCUS mag- Conference, Johnson Columbus, WI, 1960s azine. Following are class went to the Southern and serves as a notes about some of the Asia Division to serve consultant to the members: Leona R. Alderson (MA ‘69) as a counselor in the Wisconsin is a retired teacher living in education department. Conference. Her Arthur (Jack) Anders (BA Oshawa, Ontario. Leona con- While there, he and husband, ’48, MA ‘59) is a self- ducts vegetarian nutrition Hannah also spon- Rose & Stephen Paden Stephen O. employed social worker still classes throughout Canada sored two evangelistic Paden, is a in private practice in Silver financial and human- Spring, MD. Jack also volun- resources professional. teers as a counselor at Spencerville Adventist Raymond H. Woolsey Academy. In 1990, he earned (MA ‘63) is retired after 44 advanced graduate specialist years of church employ- certification in divorce media- ment—15 of those years tion. Jack lost his wife, Betty coming overseas. He Jo, in 1999. He has one daugh- retired as vice president of ter, Judy, two grandchildren, the editorial department of and 4 great grandchildren. Review and Herald Leona Alderson Publishing. Raymond has Lawrence Sufficool (BA authored 30 books, contin- ‘49, MA ‘60) served as busi- and has published two vege- ues to volunteer at the ness manager in various sec- tarian recipe books. She also Johnson & Hannah Christian Review and Herald, and ondary schools and at the serves as head deaconess at serves on the Home & Adventist College of West her church. meetings in South India, visit- School committee. He and his Africa in Nigeria, before retir- ed Spicer College, taught in wife, Cheryl, live in

Winter 2002 • Focus 27 CLASS NOTES

University of Chicago, and a University of Texas at Austin enjoys working with new eth- JD from the University of and an MSN at the Vanderbilt nic church and public campus Michigan. Andrews is fortu- University School of Nursing. ministries on the University of nate to have Margaret as a He has clinical and adminis- Michigan campus. member of the Board of trative experience in the fields Trustees, a position she has of public health, correctional Anette Mnabhi (BS ‘83, MSN filled since 1991. health and primary care/ ‘91) is an osteopathic family family practice. physician living in Yorkville, Lillian (Tang) Ng (att.) is IL. She recently established a organist for the University 1980s private practice, Synergy Baptist Church in Columbus, Health Care, after completing OH. She recently received the her family practice residency. Service Playing Certificate Anette is married to from the AGO. Lillian and her Michael J. Bauer (MDiv ‘85), Abdelhadi Mnabhi. Raymond & Cheryl Woolsey husband, Kit Ying, have two his wife, Carol, and their two Boonsboro, MD. They have sons, Jason and Justin. Kit children, Kevin and Hannah, Randy Nash (AS ‘81) is self- four children. Ying (MA ‘71) works for moved to Denver, Colorado, employed at Nash Printing, Lucent Technologies. in December 2001. Michael is Inc., in Lansdale, Penn. He the medical director of Donor also serves as Pathfinder Cameron Parrish (BS ‘71) is Alliance Tissue Services and director and head elder in his 1970s a farmer in Kent County, the associate medical director local church. Randy’s wife, Ontario, Canada. at Bell Bonfils Memorial Shari (Beamesderfer) (attend- Elaine Baum (BA ‘74, MA ‘79) Blood Center. He graduated ed) was working as a dental is a database consultant and Randolph Rasch (BS ‘74) has in 1992 from Loma Linda hygienist but now is a full- lives in Belmont, MA. recently been appointed pro- University Medical School, time mom. They adopted a fessor and director of the completed a pathology resi- baby, Rosa Lynn, from Ken Burrill (MDiv ‘70) is Family Nurse Practitioner dency there in 1997, and fin- Guatemala in May 2000. vice president for administra- program at Vanderbilt ished a fellowship in transfu- tion/ministerial of the Florida University School of Nursing. sion medicine and blood Jerry Steven (MAT ‘83, MA Conference. He lives in Randolph returned to banking at Cedars-Sinai (Los ‘85) is the editor and director Apopka, FL. Angeles) in 1998. After two of library services for years as associate medical Christian Record Services, the Ron Clark (att.) is director of director for Michigan sales for Listen and Winner Community Blood Centers in magazines, headquartered at Grand Rapids, he served as the Review and Herald in medical director for the Blood Hagerstown, MD. Ron’s pro- Center of New Jersey before fessional life has been spent moving to Denver. Michael in Adventist education, pub- continues to preach and teach lishing, and literature evange- whenever asked, and he and lism. Ron and his wife, Teresa, Carol remain active in wit- have two children, Aaron and Randolph Rasch nessing activities. Carol is a Rachel. stay-at-home mom, home- Vanderbilt as a faculty mem- schooling Hannah. Kevin is a Margaret McFarland (BA ber after 15 years on the facul- 3rd grader at Mile High Jerry & Penny Steven ‘71) serves as general counsel ty at the University of North Elementary. for the District of Columbia Carolina at Chapel Hill. Housing Authority. She holds Before that, he completed a Dan Hall (MDiv ‘83) is a pas- SDA Church’s publishing a Master’s Degree from the PhD in nursing at the tor in Ann Arbor, MI. He house for the blind and visu-

28 Focus • Winter 2002 CLASS NOTES

ally impaired. Jerry rejoined Gina is teaching English and wife, Bonnie, had their third CRS in 1999, having left its communications and Clint child, Mitchell Allen Reid, on field department for several continues his doctoral work. October 30. Kip writes that years to serve as a denomina- Clint and Gina have two chil- “Big sisters, Kirsten and tional teacher/principal and dren, Daniel and Heather. Krystle, take turns caring for then as a technical writer. He their baby brother.” and his wife, Penny, an LPN and self-employed medical Melinda (Jacobs) Wirsz (BS transcriptionist, greatly enjoy 1990s ‘92) is a speech/language their new responsibilities in pathologist living in Lincoln, NE. They are delight- Jennifer (Trepper) Cook Woodstock, MD. She complet- ed to be connected with the (BBA ‘97) is a financial analyst ed a Master of Science degree finishing of God’s work in for the Whirlpool Corporation from Towson State University their special niche of the headquarters in St. Joseph, in 1997. Her husband, Dan Lord’s vineyard. Mich. She finished an MBA in (BS ‘93), teaches kindergarten 2001 at the University of for the Chesapeake Gina Wahlen (MA ‘88) lived Notre Dame, and married Conference. They have one abroad from 1992 to 1998 in Mark Cook (BFA ‘99) in daughter, Kyra Leigh. Zaokski, Russia, where she September. taught English, and her hus- Misty (Conner) Wood (BSN band, Clint (MDiv ‘88), Mari-Carmen Gallego (MAT ‘93) is a registered nurse taught New Testament and '90) taught two years at working at Methodist Broadview Academy Hospital in St. Louis Park, before moving to MN. Her husband, Jarrod Southern Adventist (att.), works as a drafter/sales University (then person for United Building Southern Missionary Center. The Woods have two College) in 1992. She children, Annaliese and spent the next ten Nathan. years teaching French and Spanish at the institution. On January 6, 2002, Mari- Carmen married Michael Garcia, of Albuquerque, NM. She has moved to Clint, Gina, Heather and Daniel Wahlen New Mexico where she will work in her Letters to Focus are welcome and should be Greek. From 1998 to 2001 the husband's business. sent to Editor, Focus, University Relations Office, Wahlens lived in Cambridge, Andrews University, Berrien Springs, MI, 49104- England, where Clint is work- Kip Koehler (MPT '91) was ing on a PhD in New promoted to major in the U.S. 1000 or by e-mail to: with Testament Studies at Air Force in 2001. He has “Letter to Focus Editor” in the subject line. The Cambridge University and moved from England to San editors reserve the right to edit for content, style Gina worked at the Antonio, Texas, where he and space. Opinions expressed in letters are not University’s Scott Polar works as a senior physical necessarily shared by the editors or university Research Institute. They now therapist at Wilford Hall officers. live in Lincoln, NE, where Medical Center. He and his

Winter 2002 • Focus 29 LIFE STORIES

Births Hippler were married December December 27, 2001. Willie was 30, 2001, and reside in Niles, attending the Seminary as a 2002 Danube Mich. Master of Divinity student when River Cruise To Victoria (Adighibe) (BA ‘00) he succumbed to his battle with and Michael Akpa (BA ‘94, MA Melissa (Castillo) (BSCLS ‘01) cancer. Diagnosed shortly after This coming summer from ‘97), Silang, Cavite, Philippines, a and Almadina Poua (current stu- he and his family arrived at June 25-July 10, 2002, Dr. girl, Precious Chidimma dent) were married December 30, Andrews in August, Willie was Merlene Ogden will be Onyedikachi, December 3, 2001. 2001, and reside in Mishawaka, determined to pursue his degree taking a group on a Ind. even though it meant carrying Danube River Cruise start- To Danielle (DiMemmo) (BN oxygen with him from class to ing in Budapest, Hungary, ‘94) and Bryan Emde (BARCH Tonya (Hippler) (BA ‘00) and class. James North remembers passing through the Main- ‘93), Apopka, Fla., a boy, Ethan Christopher Snyder (BS ‘01) Willie as “a most persistent and Danube Canal, and ending Joseph, December 5, 2001. were married February 2, 2002, courageous person.” Although in Nuremberg, Germany. and reside in Berrien Springs, he, his family and many others To Laura (Constantine) (BA ‘94) Mich. were praying for healing for The cruise aboard the and Ron Coonley (MSPT ‘94), Willie, he never doubted God’s River Princess will include Orlando, Fla., a boy, Robert presence in his life. North says, daily land tours along the Gregory, January 2, 2002. “Near the end, as he realized that way in Vienna, Linz, Melk, Deaths he was not going to live, he told Passau and Regensburg. To Silvia (Flores) (staff) and his wife not to be angry because Prior to the cruise there Javier Feliciano (att.), Berrien Carl Hermo was born April 10, he had settled things with God. will be a three-day visit in Springs, Mich., a boy, Kameron 1977, and died December 2, 2001. Willie died with his full trust in Budapest and afterwards a Zion, January 7, 2002. Carl was a quiet student in the God.” four-day post-cruise stay School of Business, but for in Prague. Historical and To Amanda (Umek) (staff) and Jeremy Calkins, senior physical cultural as well as Hernan Granados (att.), Berrien therapy major, his best friend’s Adventist sites will be vis- Springs, Mich., a boy, Caleb death left a hole in his life. “Some ited along the way. Josue, January 29, 2002. of the deepest and most intellec- tual conversations I have ever For more information, had have been with Carl,” please contact Dr. Ogden Calkins said. “He had a wisdom Send birth, wedding at (616) 471-3781 or (616) Weddings and depth of perspective that few 471-3338, or send an e-mail people have. This is an aspect of and funeral announce- message to ogden@ Sandra Ortiz (BSW ‘96, MSW our relationship that I will miss ments and daytime andrews.edu. ‘97) and Lincoln Da Silva were immensely.” telephone number to married July 1, 2001, and reside Carl, whose life was tragi- Life Stories, Focus, in Woodridge, Ill. cally ended just before Christmas break, was remem- Andrews University, Summer (Shackelton) (BS ‘00, bered in a memorial service Berrien Springs, MI, MSPT ‘01) and Tony Zappia (BS December 8, in the 49104-1000. Or e-mail ‘01) were married December 16, Castlebuono Youth Chapel at the information to: 2001, and reside in Grand PMC. “Probably the most . Rapids, Mich. compelling aspect of who Carl was was his deep sense Kyla (Marden) (att.) and Jeremy of compassion,” Calkins Steinkraus (att.) were married remembers. “Carl would do December 16, 2001, and reside in anything to help his friends South Bend, Ind. and family. He was a very generous person, even though Street Ministries Reunion Sheila (Gifford) (att.) and many times he didn’t have Jonathan Cook (att.) were mar- much himself.” Recent alumni will gather for the first ever Benton Harbor Street ried December 16, 2001, and Ministries Reunion during Alumni Homecoming Weekend, April reside in Berrien Springs, Mich. 18-21, at Andrews University. For more info contact 471-8262 or email Willie Davenport was born [email protected]. Erica (Wise) (BS ‘01) and Jason September 10, 1958, and died

30 Focus • Winter 2002 Due to technical glitches the following names were inadvertently omitted from the 2000-2001 Annual Report. Please accept our apologies for this error.

Class of 1944 Class of 1945 Class of 1947 Rudy Haak Lorraine D Anderson Norma L Ashlin Fred M Beavon Paul E Hamel Virgil L Bartlett Harold W Beavon Myrtie A Brassington Pauline M Hill Norma L Beavon Harold Bohr Harold W Cole Betsy T Hirayama Marion J Blanco Loy G Foll Frank S Damazo Carroll L Jensen Elizabeth L Brown Arlene I Friestad Wilma S Darby Robert G Lukens Ellis V Browning Margaret B Gemmell F Wendell Ford C Willard & Patricia A Mauro Edwin F Buck M Dale Hannah Sakae Fuchita Arthur Mazat Fern L Calkins Herbert A Holden Fredrick E Harrison Johannes W Newman Frank S Damazo Lawrence F & Wilma O Kagels Jack S Henderson David K Peshka Kenneth R Davis Lee F Kramer Benjamin E Herndon Howard B Peterson Mary E Dechent Marion J Merchant Ronald A Hershey Everett D Smith Marjorie L Dunn Robert W Merchant Tetsu Hirayama Kenneth D Spaulding Alice J Fahrbach R Ellen Oblander William A & Jean W Iles Gene Tilkens Rudy Haak Sibyl E Richards Mary U Kimura William L Van Arsdale Richard J Hammond Daniel W Schiffbauer Sakae Kubo Mary F Henderson Steven P Vitrano Shiro Kunihira Class of 1997 June E Hooper James M Whitlock A Elizabeth Lowry Catherine A LeBlanc Ross E Hughes R Andrew Wolcott Nellie J MacDonald Rosemary R Iles M Samuel Yoshimura Roy E Olson Presidents Club Ingrid C Johnson Leroy W Otto Haworth, Inc. Junius B Johnson Class of 1946 Virginia A Reedy James E & Catherine A LeBlanc J Byron Logan Virginia E Eakley R Elizabeth Stagg M Sue Magoon Robert E Edwards Arthur L Thiele 1874 Founders Club–Partners Daphne J Odell Jeanne W Jordan Lois F Wendt $100,000-499,999 Floyd L Pichler Erna M Koch Ursula L Whiting Haworth, Inc. Carl J & Susie C Smith Mary E Koudele Cecil R Wyatt Verda L Trickett Idana E Noel 1874 Founders Club-Sponsors Esther N Trummer Betty C Prosser Class of 1948 $25,000-100,000 Verla C Van Arsdale Dorothy L Province Royce M & Gladys E Brown James E & Catherine A LeBlanc Marijane Wallack Marjorie N Stier Naomi R Campbell N Louise Wolcott Charlene L Vitrano Willis P Doering Pacesetter's Club Hampton E Walker Kenneth L Engelbert Dewey A Murdick Howard A & Margaret J Welklin Marilyn V Fivash Ailene R Zimmerman Eldon J Green

Focus wants to know . . . about you . . . about your family

Name Name

Address Degree(s) received from Andrews/ Year(s) of Graduation or years attended City/State/Zip Current Occupation/Employer Telephone Location (City/State) E-mail Children Date of birth Degree(s) received from Andrews

Year(s) of Graduation or years attended

Current Occupation/Employer Feel free to submit a snapshot or family portrait for publi- cation. Either black and white or color is acceptable; prints Location (City/State) will be returned upon request. Thank you for keeping us informed. Special contributions to church or society, professional development or promotions, additional degrees or certificates, travel, hobbies, volunteer work or anything else interesting about you or your spouse. Have you also remembered your voluntary subscription support for Focus this year? Your $10 gift is much appre- ciated. Mail to Alumni Services, Andrews University, Berrien Springs, Michigan 49104-0950.

Winter 2002 • Focus 31 Cover Out Takes FOCUS FOCUS

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