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Assume the Position: Exploring Discipline Relationships Melissa E Georgia State University ScholarWorks @ Georgia State University Sociology Dissertations Department of Sociology Spring 5-10-2013 Assume the Position: Exploring Discipline Relationships Melissa E. Travis Georgia State University Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.gsu.edu/sociology_diss Recommended Citation Travis, Melissa E., "Assume the Position: Exploring Discipline Relationships." Dissertation, Georgia State University, 2013. https://scholarworks.gsu.edu/sociology_diss/71 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Department of Sociology at ScholarWorks @ Georgia State University. It has been accepted for inclusion in Sociology Dissertations by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks @ Georgia State University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. ASSUME THE POSITION: EXPLORING DISCIPLINE RELATIONSHIPS by MELISSA TRAVIS Under the Direction of Wendy S. Simonds ABSTRACT Discipline relationships are consensual adult relationships between submissive and dominant partners who employ authority and corporal punishment. This population uses social media to discuss the private nature of their ritualized fantasies, desires, and practices. Participants of these relationships resist a sadomasochistic label of BDSM or domestic abuse. I conducted in-depth in- terviews and narrative analysis of social media to explore experiences and identities of people in discipline relationships. The sample includes social media bloggers and past and present partici- pants in discipline relationships. I compared explanations participants give for wanting and partic- ipating in discipline relationships. I combine identity theory, constructionism, post-structuralism, and critical feminism as an analytic frame to understand this practice sociologi- cally. I found gender differences in the media format and communication style of participants, but the ritualized expressions for discipline relationships remain consistent regardless of gender. The social process of community identification for participants includes coming out, ed- ucating others and “inviting in.” The online community provides a forum for relationship negotia- tion techniques, and encouraging the embrace of non-normative sexual identity. Participants use social media to form a nascent social movement that resists normative views of sexuality and rela- tionships in the dominant culture. INDEX WORDS: DD, adult sexual spanking, taken in hand, consensual spanking, wife spanking, husband spanking, submissive husband, submissive wife, traditional marriage, narrative analysis, consen- sual nonconsent, corporal punishment, online communities, blogging, social media, nascent so- cial movements, emerging online social movement, discipline sexual identity, BDSM, sexual spanking, wife led marriage, domestic discipline, domestic violence ASSUME THE POSITION: EXPLORING DISCIPLINE RELATIONSHIPS by MELISSA TRAVIS A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the College of Arts and Sciences Georgia State University 2013 Copyright by Melissa Travis 2013 ASSUME THE POSITION: EXPLORING DISCIPLINE RELATIONSHIPS by MELISSA TRAVIS Committee Chair: Wendy S. Simonds Committee: Denise Donnelly Heying J. Zhan Electronic Version Approved: Office of Graduate Studies College of Arts and Sciences Georgia State University Graduation May 2013 iv DEDICATION I dedicate this project with gratitude to those who have fearlessly blended scholar and mystic, blessed life in others, and created space to nurture, enlighten, protect, and show the way. vi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Thank you to my family and friends who frequently showed me there is a world outside of dis- sertations and academia while simultaneously reminding me why I chose this world. Though it some- times seemed like an endless journey, many people saw me through with advice, support, and humor. Special thanks to everyone who supported me while chronically ill, caretaking others, or grieving the loss a loved one. I have so much gratitude for the many people who surrounded me with love and support. Many of you died along the way so your names and love feel even more important in your absence. Thank you to my online community, my gaming community, my improv and theatre friends, my chatty ladies, my blogging friends, my health and wellness community, my sociology and equality advocates, and the many educators who took the time to remind me that I am a scholar. I am indebted to so many of you who read and edited this project and gave me feedback and encouragement. I feel the strong support of hundreds of friends and family telling me I am worthy of love and gave me your generosity of spirit. You humble me. I do not forget your names, I simply run out of room. To my fellow graduate students and mentors at Georgia State thank you for your wisdom and insight. To my dissertation committee, I am especially grateful. Thank you to Wendy who is more than a dissertation chair and no words can describe your mentorship or what you mean to me. You taught me to swim (literally, not just metaphorically) and invited me in to your life. Thank you. To Denise Donnelly, I admire you for the brave and courageous woman you are and for being an advocate for those who need one. To Jenny, I thank you for your willingness to join my committee. You are a profoundly astute scholar and a woman I deeply respect. I cherish you all for your kindness and your words of encour- agement. And lastly, thank you to each of the men and women who shared with me their stories. Your ac- tive participation in my research made this study possible. vi TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ................................................................................................................... vi LIST OF TABLES ................................................................................................................................ ix LIST OF FIGURES ............................................................................................................................... x 1 INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................................................... 1 1.1 Useful Terms....................................................................................................................... 3 1.2 Purpose of the Study .......................................................................................................... 6 1.3 Importance of the Study .................................................................................................... 8 1.4 Organization of Chapters ................................................................................................. 10 2 LITERATURE REVIEW AND THEORETICAL PERSPECTIVES ........................................................ 12 2.1 Corporal Punishment & Discipline Throughout History ................................................... 15 2.2 Language, Power, & Gender ............................................................................................. 20 2.3 Religion & Masculine Authority ....................................................................................... 22 2.4 U. S. History of Wife Beating, Sex & Intimate Violence, & Domestic Abuse .................... 24 2.5 Deviance & Labeling ......................................................................................................... 26 2.6 Self-harm & Stress Release............................................................................................... 27 2.7 Symbolic Interaction, Identity, Constructionist Perspectives .......................................... 27 2.8 Post-Structural/Critical/Queer ......................................................................................... 28 2.9 Impression Management & the Cyber Second Self.......................................................... 30 2.10 Nascent & Emerging Online Social Movements............................................................. 31 vii 3 METHODOLOGY ....................................................................................................................... 33 3.1 Narrative Analysis ............................................................................................................. 33 3.2 What is a Good Story? ...................................................................................................... 35 3.3 Who Tells a Story? Who Listens? Why Do They Matter? ................................................. 37 3.4 Truth(s) & Validity ............................................................................................................ 38 3.5 Participants ....................................................................................................................... 41 3.6 Demographics ................................................................................................................... 42 3.7 Limitations, Challenges, and Considerations ................................................................... 43 4 DISCIPLINE RELATIONSHIP SEXUALITIES .................................................................................. 45 4.1 Who am I? Discovering Discipline Relationship Identity Online & “Coming Out” ........... 47 4.2 Why Do I Want Discipline? Explanations and Reasons for Needing Discipline ................ 50 4.3 How and Why To Practice? Beliefs about Discipline Relationships ................................. 65 4.4 Names – Contradictions
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