Tottey Independent
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TOTTEYINDEPENDENT Published bg Totleg Residents Associqtion Issuenor 4thJulttqTT Pticetop ITILTTANTJUNTA TO SEIZE POIryENI THE 'TOTLEYINDEPENDENT' has infiltrated an underqround movement which threatens to seize control of Totley by miLitary force and declare indeoend_ ence as a republic within the next year. Apparenily plans to build have responded speedily on It is believed that the a frontier wdll around the this occasion and last week leadef of lhe coup is a well- area are well advanced and planninq app.ovdl was gfant- known local vicar who only fortificaLions will be manned ed. When the'Independent' .ecently was invested as by pldloons of brownies and contacted the Chief Planninq Supreme Commander Allied Office. for comment he was Powers Toiley (S.H.A.F.T,) We can reveal exclusive- heard lo reply "Oh nol We Ilnfortunately he refused to lv ihii tha cAlf crvlA I .r^ seem to have slipped up commenl last week, when the had 15 years ago submilted again, lhe same thing happ- stort broke/ because he was the scheme illusirated above ened with lhe Town Hall '' preparlng for my coronation' to sheffield Town Hall for extensions, we lhought ihat However it was possible to hl:rninn c cl.. 'rLa going ^6rmr was to be an extension confront rhe head of intell- local authoriiy seems to to the Peace cardens' l igence who, fidgeting nerv- ously behind dark glass es militdry lactrcs. said We reqard ou. takeover Law and order will be ds a -rnove to free the citizens maintalned at all costs and ilI|Jilfi[II to mete our of To!]ey from the bureau- lhere are Plans TOTLEY independence is no back crac y of Sheffield, BarnsleY, punishment by brinqing joke; many decisions now of Westrninsier and the ProPosed the slocks and the'ordeal laken by oulsiders were new feglonaL gove.nmenr the double blast bellows' once made in TolleY itsetf' pressed for more likely to be based in Dundee. On being We used to be a Derbyshire the We wanl Lhe coup to be deiails of lhe sporls/ villaqe of some imporlance, (lhouqht bloodless, resistance will be Head of Intelliqence and we're fast becoming to be some sort of Methodist futile because we have lhe lust another drea of sPrau- judqinq his comm Boys Brigade and Guides on by address) linq suburb. It's no use lhe un- our side". We understand ented "We have taken just moaning, so let's all precedented iep of turninq lhat a show of military might s take some action to restore New Zealands applic- wiLl be displayed al Greenoak down some control over our area. to take because Park rhis Monday 4lh IILIY alion Parl If somebody plans to change upsel Kenya who under the guise of Totley ihey mighi the use and aPpearance of varLouslrade 6gree- Independence DaY SPoris have any part of the Totley area, on lhe suPPlYof coffee (see Pase 4). Our information ments lake ali possible action to Soc- is that the cavalry division io Totley CcFoperative slow il down whilst lt can will pose as donkey rides be thoroughly investigated. The Tolley Independenis and ihat a fly-Pasl will be If something must be built, reporler was at this siage billed as a 'Guess the height let it be built Preferably bY dismissed because lhe aPP- of ihe plane contesi' . The a local buiLder using local lication form to the United Junta refused lo conflrm thal materials . lf the Sheffield of Nations had to be uP at the fly-past would consist food prices are too high, do Rudkins for Lhelast posl. one Plper Comanche light we have enough farmers and has taken the The edilor gardeners to supplv some of of issuing the Il can be revealed lhat unusual step our needs? lf lhe stream ]s communique once the borders are closed followlng full of junk, why not heLP ihe 'ToileY Independ- lo aliens, all citizens will be "Whilst the Totley Environment Soc- the idea of self- required io carrY PassPorts ent' supporis iety in ciearing 1t ouL? qovernmenLin principle we and doq licences ai all iimes Given enouqh independ_ (which frown down upon some of lhe outside curfew hours ent action, we sholrld be clos- underhandedtechniques will approxtmate to Pub dblc to start a Pdrish coun ins). employed, In particular, we One piece of brighl news point to lhe lun'"a's Plan, in is that TotIeY wiil becomea the event of emergencY,to tax haven and will issue ils block all frontiers wilh neigh- TTTETOTLEY own siamp, whilst all known bouring viltages bY diverl- INI'EPENI'ENTT nalion- lhe main sewers into TotleY mineral righls will be THIS is a news-nasazine for waY and the River Sheai; alised. Plans are under Brook alI people in Totley and surF on lhat is just a brt to reopen the coal mlnes we think ounding areas. It ltill Strawberry Lee, the Public thick". appear at lhe beginning of the Brick- slone quarry above each monLh/ and will list of ganis works and deposits any evenls and meeiings of ter under the Heatherfield general interesl. will be Editoti4,lstarl Conseflative Club We welcome anY help in sPokes Wats on deveLoped. A brownle Jeremy the form of articles, news, on Road. man would not comment 26 Meadowgrove photographsand letiers. The the rumou. that the mlneral Telephone 364681 next issue will contain be riqhts ai Grattons would Geoff Nixon, adverts., includinq a free their reward lor organrsrng 99 Prospect Road small ads sectron. 2 the petiiion thar if rhe house Saddled witheaeh had been built it would have affecied lhe root syslem of sxplcr] 'IAFAH other lhe tree, which onLy recently was put unoer a presewatlon TRAINEE surveyor David 9FaDeg lH l9lo Bldkeley cycles off on d It was also stated that lhe bullding of the house wouLd nexl month 6nd his girl- have increased the density friend will be backins him of dwellings in the immediate all lhe way. for they pla:, area lo an undesirdble level, to do the 330-mite trip-.. - Mr. Bdrry Falrhead and his wife Chrisllne of Terry Road David, of The Grove, who orgdnised the petition qirlfriend Totley/ and his said lhal if the house had Suzanne Leach, who are been built it would hdve 8; borh 19, built the foot blocked off sunlighl to their tandem themselves in five "We realise that people hdve SeverdL Sheffield shops sol lo build houses some- have dlready agreed lo spon- where, but we have to mdin pair sor the and lhey hope lain the standards and surr- had as many pounds as the thal some larqe city firms oundings that we have goL. organisations will back people who have said "Can and The place just would not be Ya Ride Tandem ', there lhe sdme wilhoui lhat lree". be no need lo do it They hope to ralse money would Mrs. MargareL Parr of {or a swimming pool for for charity". Quarry Road sdid: 'It wolld handicapped chlldren at lhe Afler a couple of weeks have been absolute sacrileqe woolley Wood Special in Co.nwa1l, the two former to chop the lree down. We near home School Suzanne's King Ecgberi SchooL PuPiIs we.e very anxious dbout ll in Nesfield Way, firlh Park- their Ldndem will reiurn and because it's such a beauti- They have to reach New- lhe easy way - bY train! ful tree. This is why we live quay in three days or the here - becduse we llke Lhe money they hope to raise Tolteisnl trees and everything". will be halwed. fhis means 4*e ihe duo will have to cower esgaxtestne ll0 miles per day. A SPECIMEN tree has been TOTI.EYNISE prolests ,,Tho rFiho ihAt v?ill saved from the axe after a AFTER from the ^nlv siop us is eiiher bike fail- determined fighl by ToLley covernors of King Ecgbert ure or the weather", said Schoot and fron other bodies, David. He added lhat iheir The owner of the buildinq the iocal authoritles are possibilitY one and only praclice run to plot on The Quddrani on which invesLigating ihe Soulhport, 80 miles away, a 70-foot-tall lime rree stancls of traffic control ai the busy ended tragically in rain- wanred io chop down the tree junction of Totley B.ook Road soaked Manchesier, where ro make way for a detached wiih Abbeydale Road So'rth they qol lost for iwo hours, aL Totley Rise. Brian Wood, "We were goinq lo New_ But 46 residents of one of the parents represenl quay anyway for our summer Quany Rodd and Terry Road atives at Kinq Ecqberts holiday, and we joked about explained ihat Lhere was golng on a tandem. Then we Council with the help of two increased concern over lhe lhought, if we are going to local Councillors, and Plann- build-up of traffic and the slog our guis oul qetting ing Permission for the house difflculties encountered bY lhere we mdy as well do it was refused Last week. schoolchildren in cros sinq for a qood cause. But ii we The residents claimed in to the lrus stops. 3 THE FIRSTTOTLXY INDEPENDENT DAY SPORTS NOTLETSPONTS GIEENOAK PARK I$ONI)AY 4th JI|LY l9Tl 7-Qpm PLeasedo not ride bikes in the park, if Car parkinq may be reslricted by the you need to bring them please use the area Police on some roads. Please do not provided for the parking of bicycles block driveways. LElnoNf P4D 4tve @l@ll!;r|l ^t'@@ F B IF IT IS RAI THE CHU ALL EORGAM tl D REFRESHMENTS,MUSIC ll LLSErc 7til9 N Next year, we hope to have a full atternoon of sport so that more events can be held, includinq a revival of the Totley SteepLecnase' 4 ffi$tnilfi ff$tf[[ffi$[$ ONE Of TOTLEY'S strongest traditions is to li6 16r,i\ra.] tha cn^.tc ^i evening.