C2 The Orion [ October 9. 2002

Top 10 guys named Dave of all time

1. David Letterman

It's a "Top 10 List," fools. Of course he was going to be at the top. Plus he's the funniest guy on TV. Eat it, Leno.

2. Dave Grohl The funniest guy from Nirvana, hands down. And no one can mess with the Foo, fools.

3. Dave Matthews Crash into us Dave. Every day. Grrrrrr!

4. Dave Eggers This guy is a heartbreaking author of stag¬ gering genius.

5. David Bowie The skinniest Dave, hands down. Nice work.

6. Dave Barry Following his sold-out rock-comedy performance Wednesday night in the Bell Memorial Union auditorium, Jim Breuer reaches down to shake the outstreched hands of audi¬ Florida: Home of insane crime rates, retire¬ ence members. The former star, best known for his Goatboy character, is currently traveling through North America on his "Lighten Up Comedy Tour." ment communities, bad voters, *NSync and Dave Barry, who makes fun of insane crime rates, retirement communities, bad voters, "NSync and Dave Barry. Breuer 7. David Spade up The second skinniest Dave, hands down. He 'lightens' crowd got attacked by his assistant, but we still MISHA OSINOVSKIY after warning the audience that "my songs are not nor¬ with a few goats. He began speaking in "sheep talk" to love him. Assistant Photography Editor mal." For the next 30 minutes he sang about the zoo's resident sheep. As Breuer described it, "when "American Pie 2," Osama bin Laden, Anne Heche, and you're stoned... this is huge." And so Goatboy was 8. David Sedaris ■ A.S. Presents packed the Bell Memorial Union "tea bagging," respectively. The crowd was warmed bom. You people don't read much, so there's not auditorium Wednesday with an audience ready to up and ready for Breuer, but it had to wait out a 10- The show continued with Breuer's hilarious tale of much hope you know who this is. He's funny experience Saturday Night Live alum Jim Breuer's minute intermission. his first drag encounter and his terrible mistake of though. "Lighten Up Comedy Tour." The curtains opened once again, revealing Breuer, "stepping into the darkness." .The line to enter the BMU stretched back to who was introduced by his backup band The Breu The Breu Crue provided sound effects and mellow 9. Davy Jones Nprmal Avenue - everyone hoping to catch a funny Crue. Before starting his act, Breuer individually intro¬ tunes during Breuer's act. Hey, hey he just barely made the list. He was line from Breuer and The Breu Crue. duced members of The Breu Crue, made up of high Eventually Breuer broke out into his interpretations a jockey, a Monkee, a daydream believer and Many seemed surprised when they entered the school friends. of different rock bands. a homecoming king, whatever that means. auditorium and found that there were no seats any¬ Breuer grabbed the mike and, with a sly smile, said, First he did his own version of what where to be found. The general-admission show was "I heard about you guys... No. 2, they say." The crowd might look like doing "If You're Happy and You 10. Dave Thomas described as a rock-comedy performance, but most went wild in response to Breuer's reference to Chico Know it" and then he did an AC/DC version of "The We thank you for the square burgers, man. were hoping for more comedy than rock. State University's recent ranking in Playboy. Hokey Pokey." The And then it warmup for Breuer was his good friend Paul happened - perhaps by mistake or Breuer ended on a high note, using his hand to do Honorable mentions: Bond. First on stage, Bond grabbed the audience's maybe he knew that everyone was waiting in anticipa¬ impressions of a three-armed umpire, a big homy man David Crosby attention with his version of "The Star Spangled tion — Breuer let a goat laugh slip. The already riled- and a dog defecating. Super Dave Osbourne Banner," poetically rewritten to explain the troubles up audience rolled with laughter. Breuer probably For its exiting piece The Breu Crue broke out into Dave Navarro of road rage. could have stood on stage all night making only goat verse, singing, "I smoked my bong today, that's why I Dave Stewart Bond transitioned his act well and could relate to noises, and everyone would have been satisfied they look this way." David Lee Roth the students with his tales of fast food and grocery got their money's worth. Breuer continued with his Dave Waddell store jobs. About 15 minutes into his act, Bond story of how "Goatboy" was bom. It all goes back to Misha Ositiovskiy can be reached at: strapped on his acoustic guitar and began to play songs the time Breuer was really stoned at the zoo, all alone [email protected] Next week: Top 10 '70s funk artists of all time

LARAMIE: Play examines effects 'Dragon' breathes life into story of hate crime in Wyoming town We mainly know the elegantly gruesome In "Red Dragon," we get to see a more human, rather touching continued from Hannibal Lecter (Sir ) as the relationship form between between Dolarhyde and a blind co-worker | CI man behind a thick slab of perforated plastic, named Reba (). dispensing advice and making glib references to We are also informed through voice-overs and flashbacks that when Shepard's personality is brought forth and when he becomes a past "meals" he has enjoyed. Dolarhyde has some kind of facial disfigurement and suffered horri¬ human being rather than a familiar face in the news. Now picture our favorite cannibal in a sea ble abuse as a child. But the words of the everyday people of Laramie were the most of unsuspecting potential victims, before he is While these revelations do not make his actions OK, they do put powerful, sometimes showing homophobic views without the speaker caught or has even heard of Clarice Starling. a human face on our monster. even realizing it. "Red Dragon" opens up its prequel story to Whereas Lecter is so far gone and so beyond our pithy human The language was raw at times. Some of the dialogue was met with Thomas Harris' other books-turned-movies, rationalizations that most of us can believe he probably came out laughter, usually because of how real it actually sounded. Any one of "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Hannibal," of the womb quoting Tennyson, Dolarhyde seems more like a very those people could live in a town like Chico. with a shot of Lecter amid an audience for the disturbed, broken man with a serious mental illness. Jordan Elias' performance of Matt Galloway, the bartender at the symphony. Now don't get me wrong, the "dragon" is scary and he is the bad bar where Shepard left with his murderers, Aaron McKinney and As we discover during one of his dinner parties, Lecter is on the guy in this movie. Russell Henderson, was played with effortlessness and received the board of the symphony and, oh yes, that poorly performing flutist However, by making Dolarhyde this attainable, while in many most crowd reaction. Galloway was brutally honest and, at times, a lit¬ has gone missing...imagine what we're having for dinner. ways infinitely more interesting, "Red Dragon" manages to turn the tle pompous but was the main witness for the prosecution. Enter Will Graham () as an eager FBI agent on the fear down a notch or two. The events indirectly affected the people of hunt for a cannibal-killer. Graham goes to the brilliant forensic psy¬ Also, let's just face it, there will never be another "Silence of the Laramie, like Reggie Fluty (played convinc- chologist Lecter for help with his findings, where he soon makes a Lambs" because we already know Hopkins as the Hannibal Lecter we ingly by Turiya Dawn), the officer who discovery that seems to seal his fate. have come to loathe and love, and we have come to expect certain responded to the call from bicyclist Aaron PLAY/REVIEW A Kreifles fight ensues. However, we soon learn that Graham witty comments and deliciously disgusting mannerisms (played by Sam Trekur). We call It: is tougher than he looks, and both he and Lecter come from him. No matter how hard you try, you cannot go Fluty tried to revive Shepard's blood- The Laramie Project out scathed, but alive. back to a first impression nor the mesmerizing fear it soaked body and, in doing so, was exposed to When: Cut to several years later when Lecter has been sent MOVIE/REVIEW induced. the HIV virus. For nearly three months Fluty Thursday toprison for the criminally insane (ah, that old familiar Movie: To director Brett Ratner's ("Rush Hour") credit, and her family wondered if she had con- Where: plastic wall), and Graham has opted for early retirement. Red Dragon however, is the film's ability to keep the audience in tracted the disease. (The results came back Wismer Theatre ^Graham seems happy and healthy living with his wife plenty of suspense and dreadful anticipation. This film negative.) isiolly (Mary-Louise Parker) and son in the Florida Keys, Anthony Hopkins and is saturated in rich, deep colors and eerie darkness, The play not only captured the media circus Edward Norton far away from the big bad city and the big bad FBI. imbuing everything with a mournful, delightfully omi¬ that blanketed the town, but also the funeral of Rating: Of course, things cannot stay peaceful for nous tone. Matthew long and (out of 5 stars) Shepard and the separate trials of sflpn his old boss, Jack Crawford (), is Besides the mere look of the film is this incredible Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson. ★ ★★★ * a[tempting to convince Graham to take up a new case ensemble cast of actors. Rarely are this many superbly Both of which were attended by Rev. Fred Phelps from the bgpause of his special talent of being able to get inside talented actors in the same film. Westburo Baptist Church in Topeka, Kan. the mind of a serial killer. Of course, there is Hopkins who plays Lecter to Actor Brent White played the part of Phelps with intensity, sporting - At first Graham refuses, but when he discovers this wicked perfection without overdoing it, and Norton who a scowl and an overbearing voice. new killer is brutally massacring entire families (even adds a sweet, quiet intelligence to our hero. The comic relief came when a friend of Shepard's, Romaine the pets) and, after he sees pictures of them and thinks about his own There is also Fiennes, the sophisticatedly handsome English Patterson (played by Julia Dalton), arranged the "angel action." Armed filling family, Graham cannot refuse his services. actor whom I had trouble envisioning as a repulsive psychopath, but with oversized angel wings and earplugs, Patterson and others sur¬ -At first Graham is supposed to be just an outside adviser, but who, fortunately or unfortunately, managed to win me over. rounded the reverend, making his rants fall on deaf ears. twice he is involved it is too late, and much of "Red Dragon" plays That said, we cannot over look some of the smaller roles with The play also included spoken excerpts from the taped confession o5 the notion that Graham's family may be next on the killer's equally gifted actors such as Parker's understanding wife, Kfeitel's of McKinney and a statement made by Shepard's father. Steven agenda. sturdy FBI boss, the always fantastic as the Remund's portrayal of Dennis Shepard at the trial was enough to make -Just so you know, I am not giving anything away by stating that impossibly sleazy tabloid reporter, and the gutsy and sympathetic the lips of audience members quiver. il)is murdering psychopath is named Francis Dolarhyde (Ralph portrayal of Reba by another English actor, Watson. The overall performance of the actors was very solid. The con¬ Pjennes) but he calls himself the Red Dragon, an identity he has All in all, "Red Dragon" does what many think "The Silence of the stant character changes, as well as the content of the dialogue, must based on a painting by the English poet William Blake. Lambs" perfected and what "Hannibal" failed to do, and that is to tell have been as difficult for the actors to pull off as it was for the audi¬ -Unlike "The Silence of the Lambs," where we only know its dark story without going over the top. ence to watch. enough about "Buffalo Bill" to make us absolutely terrified of him, With plot twists and characters this horrific, we want to suspend But the point was made. In an interview with two members of ii"Red Dragon" we actually get to see some of the more human our disbelief and let the fear take hold rather than find it so hard to Tectonic Theater Project, a Catholic priest tells them, "I will trust that our believe as to be traits of villain. laughable. Although, without quite the same impact if you make a play of this, you will do it right." ZNow this fact can either be good or bad, and in this movie it is a of its predecessor ("The Silence of the Lambs"), "Red Dragon" is a The final result is an evenly balanced account of a small town deal¬ l®e bit of both. gruesome yet tastefully subdued film that proves itself worthy to go ing with a tragedy. And the Chico State department of theatre arts made "Maybe I should have majored in criminal psychology or con¬ well with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. sure those words were brought to life. sidered a career in forensics, but I find it absolutely fascinating to Dana delve into the mind of someone like Dolarhyde — disturbing, but Buchanan can be reached at: Mark Lore can be reached at:

fascinating. . [email protected] [email protected]