Penguin Food Frankly

MANHATTAN BEACH SUN July 02, 2009 Page 15 Penguin from page 3 Food presidency on August 9, 1974. Facing certain So at the top I said I was going to lead 6 TIPS FOR COOKING WITH BEER mac-and cheese. Balance the bitterness with impeachment, the man who lost the presidency with the Sanford embarrassment. But then inherently sweet things like carrots, caramel- in 1960 to the alleged philandering icon John celebrities started passing away. And while ized onions or a touch of honey. F. Kennedy, turned the reins of government celebrities moving on to the netherworld 3.Malt is sweet. Malt is malted barley— over to the well-meaning but seemingly may or may not be fodder for the Penguin, barley that has been sprouted in water then overmatched Gerald Ford, who would serve CNN went wall-to-wall with Michael Jack- dried in a kiln. Depending on how the barley a couple of years in the Oval Office before son coverage the day the King of Pop died. is dried, some of the sugars are caramelized being blown away by the Georgia peanut Forget the tumult in Iran, or the fact that the and give sweet flavors to the beer. To bal- farmer, Jimmy Carter, in the 1976 elections. bellwether states of California and New York ance that sweetness in cooking, try adding All right, so the South Carolina Guv is not are about to go bankrupt, or that President acidic elements like some chopped tomatoes, the first politician to make a marriage misstep. Obama is trying to make a stand to revamp a squeeze of fresh citrus juice or a splash Heck, if memory serves me correctly, Thomas the health care system in our fine country. of vinegar. Try a nut-brown ale for a user- Jefferson, he of the wonderful powdered wig, First, Ed McMahon passed away. Yup, friendly maltier brew. was the poppa of a few kids out of wedlock. the guy who used to introduce the greatest Wine adds depth and flavor to many foods, 4.The flavors in a beer intensify as it cooks And William Jefferson Clinton may have been late-night show in the history of television, so does beer, but with a distinctly different and reduces down, so use it judiciously and involved in a few indiscreet rendezvous while The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson, taste. Here are some simple guidelines for taste as you go. he called the White House home. left us. Then the beautiful Farrah Fawcett cooking with beer anytime. 5.Use beer like wine. Try making a Quick aside on Clinton: Monica Lewinsky? succumbed to cancer. And next, quicker- 1.Start off slow. Try adding half a bottle combination of beer and broth to deglaze Is that the best that you could do, Slick than-lickety-split, Jackson was pronounced to a batch of your favorite chili; let it cook a roasting pan or the pot you’re browning Willie? C’mon, most powerful man in the DOA. Political, maybe not. But all of the for a bit, then taste it. Want more beer fla- meat in for stew. world. And the best you could do is a chubby political outlets gave the Jackson death vor? Crack open another one (you finished 6.Wing it. Steam mussels or shrimp in beer intern? Or may there have been others? Oh overkill coverage. that first bottle while the chili was cooking, with some chopped tomatoes and garlic, add well, I certainly don’t know the deal there. Sorry for that pun. Never owned a Jackson right?) and add some more. lager or pilsner to your favorite batter for And you know what, if it was good enough album, but I used to occasionally listen to 2.Hops are bitter. Most every beer has fish or seafood (be sure to use light-colored for the lovely Hillary Rodham Clinton, cur- the Off the Wall album back in the day when some hops in it—they essentially act as the beers or the batter will be gray) and use it to rent Secretary of State, to say, “Who cares?” living with my pal, Tony Q. His album, but spice in beer. Some beers are more “hoppy” marinate almost any kind of protein. then it was good enough for me. I do admit to spinning a few of the tracks than others. Pale ales are pretty balanced and Here are some tested recipes that take full Is a political leader’s alleged marital infidel- on the old turntable after I tired of listening not overly hoppy, generally making them a advantage of the delicious flavor of beer. Cook ity our business? Or is it something that the to Ted Nugent and the other manly stuff I better choice for cooking than IPAs (India up some tried and true recipes that go great infidel must work out with his wife, husband was favoring at the time. Pale Ales). Use hops to your advantage: they with a tall frosty mug of your favorite brew. or significant other? can cut through creaminess, so try adding a By EatinWell, EatingWell.com. Courtesy of slug to the sauce for a batch of homemade Arcamax.com • Frankly from page 7 your bowels. Gulp it down and run to the when the cursed Reggie Jackson signed with pot. Again and again for about three hours. the Angels as a free agent. Back in 1982, And the morning of the procedure, you if my hazy memory is correct. Me and my give yourself a couple of enemas to finish Angel pals didn’t like the arrogant Jackson, the cleansing process. That was great fun. but as soon as he put on an Angel uni, all Picture that one, loyal readers. was forgiven. At least by us amnesiacs. Thought you needed to know... Heck, we were in the stands when Reggie Speaking of enemas, wonder how many cranked a couple of homers in Anaheim, and of you Dodger fans will cheer wildly when we stood up and cheered “Reggie, Reggie!”- the drug-cheater Manny Ramirez returns -which was embarrassing, to say the least. to Chavez Ravine and plants his cleats in Course me and my posse were also the same left field? The returning hero is slated to guys who used to go to L.A. King games play his first game with the Dodgers on the in the pre-Gretzky days of the mid-‘80s and road against the minor league Padres this wave a white hankie at the Edmonton Oiler Friday, and to return to Dodger Stadium in superstar. Somehow, we thought Gretzky was a couple of weeks against Houston. Cheer- some kind of wimp, hiding behind the fists ing Ramirez wouldn’t make a heck of a lot of enforcers like Marty McSorley and Dave of you hypocrites, would it? Cuz most of “Cement Head” Semenko. you gave nothing but grief to “Old Helium But the second the Great One signed Head” Barry Bonds when he and the hated with the Kings in the summer of 1988, we Giants visited the Ravine in the final years chucked our hankies and gushed about the of Bonds’ career. guy who made hockey a bigger sport than By the way, Halo fans, would you rather basketball in this little town for a five-year have Old Helium Head swinging in the period. Don’t believe the Kings were a hotter middle of the lineup for our Angels, or what ticket than the Lakers? Must be under the certainly appears to be a way-over-the-hill age of 25, are ya? Vlad Guerrero? Just asking. Sure like to But that’s a good thing. I need all the see the Angels make a play for Oakland’s readers that I can get--young, old and way Matt Holliday, who is wasting his time in in-between. Oakland with the perennially rebuilding A’s. Holliday will be a free agent next year, but so what? Pick him up, put him in the middle of the order, and see what happens. Couldn’t be less effective than Vlad has been so far this season. Back to my Dodgers. Nothing like a double standard, right, amigos? Wonder if Manny got prego in the last two months while he was hiding out, by the way? He was caught taking a female fertility drug, right? Manny being Manny, right? Amazing how we fans will forgive darn near anything that “our” guys do, but excoriate a visiting player for the same offense. Reminds of a time many, many years ago .

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