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clubs | bars | cabaret | life 18 #QXGayLondon GAY LONDON Suitable only for persons of years 18 and over. print + web /0tAPRIL 2015 QXMAGAZINE.COM iPad + iPhone What’s it like to be an Asian guy in a world of gay hook-up apps where Despite ‘white gays’ doing exactly that some users just say ‘No Asians’? dehumanising thing I describe above, the Yes, angrily capitalised message has a point. You’d think being dehumanised by casual ignorance as ‘gays’ would be bad enough, but instead of rebelling against that by By Patrick Cash celebrating and expressing our humanity, we Asians instead pass on the oppression. And one of our own minorities who really suffers is gay Raise your hand if you like the term ‘gays’. New Republic entitled ‘Dear Politicians, Stop men of South-East and East Asian ethnicity. Like not ‘gay people’ but as in the ‘God Hates Calling People “Taxpayers”’. ‘No Asians’ is totally plastered over those Gays’ placards wielded by the pitifully sad In it she writes: ‘While “people” windows of hook-up apps like Grindr as if and ever-increasingly desperate Westboro designates the broadest possible public as they were newsagents run by UKIP. Guys Baptist Church, an organisation who are the the subject of a political project, “taxpayer” claim they’re not being racist, because it’s a media equivalent of a toddler who does a shit advances a considerably narrower vision – personal sexual preference, but who stops to on the floor to get attention. and that’s why we should eliminate it from think about the effect seeing those words will But their use of ‘gays’ or ‘fags’, or even political rhetoric and punditry.’ When you’re have on Asian men? Many of those perfect- ‘homosexuals’, is calculated. It’s a lot a taxpayer you’re no longer considering the bodied, headless torso profiles are not from easier to hate a dehumanised ‘gay’ than human needs of people on benefits, it’s all closeted guys, but out-but-not-proud Asian a living, breathing person who feels the about the cost to your income. guys scared of rejection. same emotions and bleeds the same colour As that old dragged-up mademoiselle In a recent report from Public Health blood. This use of derogatory language of fate would have it, just as I was writing England it found that gay/bi men from an is widespread to make minority groups this introduction a meme flashed up on my ethnic minority have ‘significantly higher rates ‘other’: n*ggers, scroungers, immigrants, the Facebook news page from ‘Common Gay Boy’: of suicide, self-harm and mental illness’. It crackheads and crazies of Bethnal Green. also found that ‘the personal testimonies’ of Language can even be used to separate “EQUALITY” scream the white gays with these men often go untold. So we spoke to people with power from their humanity, and LEGALIZE GAY across their shirts & “NO three gay, Asian men from the scene to find their emotional thinking. Elizabeth Stoker BLACKS NO ASIANS NO FEMS” across their out their own stories, and what they think of Bruening published a piece last month in the Grindr profiles that horrible ‘No Asians’ tag. Marc Abe Photographer I moved to London from Tokyo when I was 18. I like taking pictures. I live a settled life with my partner and two Siamese cats. I grew up in Tokyo so my perspective isn’t relevant, but all I can say is that I never really notice my ethnicity when I’m in London, but I think I’m fortunate to say I have not. Although, I do get people “guessing” my race and getting it wrong all the time and it drives me insane. “I’ve been to China,” isn’t the cleverest opener… I was never active on any of those hook-up apps, but I am aware of the profiles with racial preferences. For me personally, “ASIANS ONLY” or “NO ASIAN” are both equally rude. Sure, everyone has a type, but I think it’s a little too much. I don’t walk around with a placard saying I am Asian. No one does. I just don’t get involved, as their mindset and not realising that it is offensive to some just offends me. I don’t see my Asian-ness in London. You get so many different people from all around the world here and that’s a great thing. More interest and knowledge towards each other’s culture is the key to understanding and acceptance I think! ‘For me personally, “ASIANS ONLY” or “NO ASIAN” are both equally rude.’ 2 qxmagazine.com Alexander Han Personal Trainer and promoter for club Bang! ‘ Trying to understand who you are becomes even more confusing when you don’t even know what you are trying to understand.’ Growing up as a gay, Chinese man in I can sit on the fence where the two I’m in my 30s and only now can I start to fully London was very lonely and challenging, yet different cultures assimilated and look at comprehend the true meaning of that. some of the most important and rewarding both sides of where I came from and what I Being faced with racial prejudice has few years of my life. Being 16 is a confusing have become. It broadens my horizon and made me stronger, and who I am today. It’s time for most boys and being gay and a definitely gives me a whole new perspective, very upsetting at the time, especially when foreigner, I was totally lost. I could hardly but I also believe that every color is unique, it comes from within the gay community. It’s meet any other gay Chinese guys like me and they all vibrate under the sun. Everyone has one thing that I cannot change and hurts there was no role model that I could look up a unique personality, background and life me the most. But I slowly understand it’s a to. Trying to understand who you are becomes experience, that’s what makes us different; result of one’s ignorance and self-hate. They even more confusing when you don’t even those sharp edges will make us spark when don’t know me, they have no right to put me know what you are trying to understand. we collide together. in that box, as long I am sure of myself as a I felt odd, I felt isolated and started to Gay, Asian men have been the subject person and as an individual, everything else question everything about myself. Was of prejudice and have been fighting for is irrelevant. it my skin color? My eyes? My hair? The our existence and acceptance in a straight In terms of the hook-up apps, it’s a place way I dress and pronounce, all these man’s world for too long. We are refusing to where people take measurement over moral doubts eventually crashed my confidence be stuffed into pre-labeled boxes, because grounds. I’ve seen things that are way worse completely and forced me into the journey each one of us is unique! If we can’t accept then racial preferencing, all I can say is listing of stereotyping. I have tried to change ourselves, and worse let that negative the ‘dislikes 101’ does not make you more everything that I possibly can in the attempt feeling project on to others, then we have assertive or attractive in anyway. to alter my identity and erase my past. another problem, internalized homophobia London’s LGBT community is very diverse For many years I hated to speak Chinese is something that most gay men have and active, with all the new legislation that is in public and have seriously considered experienced consciously or unconsciously. protecting us now and the significant change having plastic surgery to make me look We are working harder, partying longer of the social attitude towards gay people, more Westernized. Going to the gym five with more drugs and even more casual sex, which has made gay life so much easier. If times a week just for the sake of six packs pushing us to the limit and taking everything we can all just be more accepting to each and big arms: I was only trying to fit into to the extreme. It’s merely a desperate effort, other’s differences and let the technology that stereotype. Trying to be accepted. trying to compensate for the fact that we can’t do what it’s meant to do - making our life The funny thing is no matter what I do, I come to peace with ourselves. And all the easier, and better at reaching each other. will never be able to look like one of those prejudice and racial preferencing is only the Hopefully, another young Chinese male poster boys that the gay community has side-effects. “If you don’t love yourself, how would find it easier growing up as an ethnic been desperately perpetuating. the hell are you gonna love someone else?” gay man in London. ´ 3 qxmagazine.com Mark Taylor Menswear Designer for Mark Thomas Taylor I’m half-English and half-Thai although there’s some Irish, Italian, Chinese and Welsh thrown in there somewhere, too - I guess that’s pretty standard in London though, eh? I moved to the UK when I was 18 from Washington DC and remember being in a gay bar, and while waiting for my drink to be poured just politely turned to the guy next to me and said: “Hey, how’s it going?” I didn’t fancy him, I was simply being nice while we both waited.