Demystifying Sexuality Reference Book
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ENFOLD PROACTIVE HEALTH TRUST DEMYSTIFYING SEXUALITY REFERENCE BOOK Looking at sexuality with a rights-based, restorative and gender transformative lens Published - June 2021 by Enfold Proactive Health Trust The copyright and other intellectual property rights in respect of this Reference Book belong exclusively to Enfold Proactive Health Trust (“Enfold”). Enfold license(s) this reference book under the terms of Creative Common License (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0), the details of which are found at https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/. Any use or reproduction of this reference book contrary to or in violation of the terms of the aforesaid creative commons license will be illegal and Enfold reserves the right to take suitable action in respect thereof. Enfold also reserves the right to modify, terminate or revoke the license granted as aforesaid or otherwise exercise any and all rights in respect of its intellectual property without further notice and the same shall be binding on the licensee or user or reader thereof. Enfold Proactive Health Trust No. 22, 3rd Main Road, Ashwini Layout, Ejipura, Inner Ring Road, Koramangala, Bengaluru, 560047, India T: +91 99000 94251 www.enfoldindia.org ENFOLD PROACTIVE HEALTH TRUST DEMYSTIFYING SEXUALITY REFERENCE BOOK - ACCOMPANIES ENFOLD’S GENDER EQUITY, COMPREHENSIVE SEXUALITY AND PERSONAL SAFETY EDUCATOR PROGRAM Note to the reader: The content in this document is aimed at increasing awareness and providing information around different aspects of sexuality - highlighting the diversity in its development, experience and expression and the need to respect this while being mindful of each other’s rights. Gender bias, gender based sexual violence and child sexual abuse are discussed with a focus on overcoming or minimizing their impact, and an emphasis on healing, while holding perpetrators accountable and responsible. Some readers may find the content distressing. We suggest reading the chapter descriptions provided below to know what is covered and plan how you would want to proceed with studying the content. 6 Acknowledgement 8 Introduction 18 Chapter 1. Diversity in Sex - evolution, diversity and common origins of sexual and reproductive systems 24 Chapter 2. Structure and Function of Sexual and Reproductive Systems - building understanding and respect 40 Chapter 3. Diversity in Sex, Gender and Sexuality - what hampers its expression, belonging and visibility? 56 Chapter 4. Development of Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation - understanding and respecting diversity and fluidity 66 Chapter 5. Gender Bias – its effect on different genders, working towards gender equity 82 Chapter 6. Self-Esteem and Body Image - their influence on sexuality and well-being 98 Chapter 7. Attitudes towards Sexual Health and issues with Reproductive Health - discussing stigma, seeking support early 114 Chapter 8. Sexual Development in Children and Adolescents - accepting, respecting and supporting 128 Chapter 9. Attitudes towards Sexuality - building a positive, respectful and rights-based perspective TABLE OF CONTENTS TABLE 144 Chapter 10. Sexuality and Disability - accepting, acknowledging and affirming 166 Chapter 11. Sexual Relationships - understanding how attraction works, respecting diversity in sexual and living arrangements 176 Chapter 12. Sexual Preferences and Practices - sex and pleasure, understanding various sexual acts 190 Chapter 13. Paedophilia - what is it? 198 Chapter 14. Intersectionality - looking at the intersection of gender and sexuality with other social identity structures 212 Chapter 15. Sexual Violence against Adults - from stigma, shame and blame to healing and accountability 224 Chapter 16. Sexual Violence against Children - addressing core issues for child protection and safety 250 Chapter 17. Restorative Practices - building trust in relationships and communities, restoring a sense of justice 266 Additional reading 296 Worksheets 308 Glossary 312 References ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS We express our deepest appreciation to all Enfold Proactive Health Trust), Dr Murli Desai those who provided their inputs to complete this (Former Professor at Tata Institute of Social Reference Book. It would not have been possible Sciences, National University of Singapore without their ready support and guidance. and Seoul National University), Nandini Rao Special thanks to Dr. Bhavani V, Dr. Nikhil (feminist activist), Neeraja Sajan (PhD scholar, Saldanha, Renu Singh, Ruchira Ramkrishna, TISS Mumbai, and Intersex Human Rights India Saakshi Agarwal and Dr. Sangeeta Saksena for (IHRI) member), Dr. Pramod Kumar M.P.M. their contribution in conceptualizing the content (Assistant Professor, School of Education, Christ design, core messages and the baseline work for University, Bangalore), Rita Renjitham Alfred this Reference Book. (Founder, Restorative Justice Training Institute), Subha Chandrashekhar (Director, Anugraham) We acknowledge with much appreciation and Dr. Sandhya Limaye (Associate Professor, the crucial role of Enfold team members - (in Center for Disability Studies and Action, School alphabetical order), Amala Dasarathi, Ananya of Social work, Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Dasgupta, Arlene Manoharan, Dr. Bhavani Mumbai). V, Deepika Bhardwaj, Sakshi Aggarwal, Dr Sangeeta Saksena, Smita Chimmanda The following faculty from Martin Luther and Swagata Raha - with experience and Christian University, Shillong, Meghalaya qualifications in diverse fields like social work, reviewed the Demystifying Sexuality child rights, family medicine, gender studies, Reference Book: Dr. Ardonister Lyngdoh obstetrics and gynaecology, psychology, (Assistant Professor, School of Social Work psychotherapy, and law, in developing content and Associate Dean Academics), Mr. Arwan for this Reference Book. We specially thank Lyngdoh (Assistant Professor, Department of Mahesh Natarajan (counsellor at www. Allied Health Sciences), Dr. Lavinia Mawlong innersight.in, Bangalore) for writing the chapter (Assistant Professor, Centre for Gender Equity on Diversity and Sexuality and reviewing the and Diversity Education and Research), Dr. entire Reference Book with a keen, diversity- Marbabiang Syiemlieh (Assistant Professor, sensitive lens. School of Social Work), Ms. Naphibanmer Wankhar (Assistant Professor, Department of We express our deep and sincere gratitude Allied Health Sciences) and Dr. R. Jennifer War to the reviewers for their invaluable guidance (Associate Professor, Centre for Gender and throughout and their insightful comments and Dean Academics). suggestions that helped shape the book - We want to thank Vivek Premachandran for Abha Khetarpal (President, Cross the Hurdles), designing this Reference Book and Malavika Avanti Shrikumar, Krishna Menon, (Professor, Navale for creating the illustrations. We also Gender Studies, School of Human Studies, thank all the interns posted with us between Ambedkar University Delhi), Kushi Kushalappa July 2020 to January 2021 for their support and (Head, Rehabilitation and Reintegration Team, contribution. 6 DEMYSTIFYING SEXUALITY REFERENCE BOOK DEMYSTIFYING SEXUALITY REFERENCE BOOK 7 This Reference Book is part of a project aimed at preventing gender-based violence by developing and implementing a formal curriculum for teachers and students of undergraduate and graduate studies from nursing, social work, psychology, education, special education and allied disciplines. As envisaged in the project, this curriculum is based on gender equity, personal safety and sexuality education and has been developed using rights-based, restorative and gender transformative approaches. We gratefully thank Ford Foundation for supporting this project. DEMYSTIFYING SEXUALITY REFERENCE BOOK 7 INTRODUCTION Dear Reader, The ‘Demystifying Sexuality’ course - the first step in Enfold’s multi-level Gender Equity, This book contains information on a range of Comprehensive Sexuality and Personal Safety topics that Enfold discusses in its flagship course, Educator training program - gains more Demystifying Sexuality. But why demystify significance in the context of the unabating sexuality, you might ask. Isn’t it supposed to be menace of sexual violence against women, discovered as one goes through life? Yes, but children, sexual and gender minorities, those for various reasons, and especially in the Indian marginalized by caste, disability, ethnicity context, sexuality is cloaked in secrecy, suspicion, etc., and increasingly, men as well. This book silence and shame despite it being an integral highlights the probable causes of some of these part of our lives that’s present right from the issues and how to address them. time we are born. In our eagerness to fit people into neat categories of ‘sex’, the first question Our ultimate aim is to prevent violence and everyone asks when a baby is born is, “Is it a boy discrimination that people are subjected to based or a girl?’ and so begins the process of socializing on their gender and sexual identity - and create them according to the gender we assume they safer spaces where people are not marginalized are - setting the stage for potential confusion, based on their gender, class, caste, sexual discrimination, violence and invisibilization based orientation, disability, ethnicity or social origin, or on one’s gender identity and sexual expression. any other identity. AIMS We aim to empower adults - especially teachers and students of undergraduate and postgraduate Secrecy and silence have resulted in a loss courses - to recognize and speak against of