C C Annual Public Service Auction Raises $95,000for Raises Auction PublicAnnual Public Interest Service can gointhelimbocompetition. Kathiana Aurelien ’10shows how low she B Law SchoolParticipatesInUniversity Games B Total Amount Is Raised Down From LastYear; Dean Revesz LosesinStraight Sets inWii Tennis Showdown School turned out to be the law the be to out turned School Stern the not andAuction PILC on Thursday, Feb. 18. However,Games the held at Coles Sports Center annual contest theof All-University tobuild on that success in the 12th schoolcompetitorslaw hoped of All-UniversityGames, contingenta third place overall finish in the 2009 Still,thisyear’s Auctionall wasby $100,000. year’sof lasttotalthan auctionraised $95,000, slightly year’s less This organizations. profit not-for- other and organizations t c litigation a p m i ers officers, defend- lic ment, pub- govern in r e m m u s each ships t - intern s e r e t n i public sue cide to pur de who students Law NYU of dreds hun- the s t i f e n e b auction al annu Action. The Service Public Law of School University York New nual An- 16th the for together came alumnischoollawandsupporters t n o y t n o y D R After After the law school’s surprising faculty, students, 18, Feb. On u e i n a r Infra r b i i b b n e If you’re wearing sweatpants now, right you piece. shouldreadthisfashion Over one monthafteritbegan, theLawyering debate continues. Commentator puzzletosuityouroriginal every need. Love crossword puzzlesbut hate theNew York Times? Well we have an g n i t u g n i t u l - - - - L E o y o s n a v W W ’12 r ’11 r e t i e t i r r Daniel Evans Volume XLIII,Number10 otherin team sports like basketball, Games pit each school against each 2010 Games. school’sbiggest competition theat seasonfor the 2011. Class This of firm-hiring law disappointing a to part large in due funding PILC studentsof are expected to receive with AlyssaMack ’11. co-chaired the Auction Committee who ’11, Seddon Jeff said event,” the for beyond and school law the throughout enthusiasm the with involved. indicationssuccessaeveryonefor The law school also came away competition,with placing second overall.improvedidlimbo skillsthe itsin school law the though story, ferent dif- a proved year This wrestling. volleyballcomersinallsumo and trouncing finish, third-place a to last year when the law school surged A university-wide event, the event, university-wide A This summer, a record number excited extremely were “We dents assembled to assembled dents are featured, aswell. ners and t-shirt designs contests involving ban- with fat suits). Creative (complete wrestling sumo and scissors rock-paper- foosball, such as rock climbing, events individual ous curi- of variety wide Gamesalsofeaturea The dodgeball. and volleyball,tug-of-war of competitors than competitors of much small contingent a was This Games. 2010the compete in Only 15 law stu- law 15 Only the Stavan Desai commentator ’ Daniel Novak ’ 10 (right)swingawayattabletennis. committee members without whomallof our committee chairs and the and valuables. matesdonateto their time, talents class- fellow and members faculty encouraging to businesses from Cityneighborhoods fordonations from canvassing New miles Yorkof the event, coordinateaspectsall of public service. Dozens students of resourcefulnessdedicationandto students’ law NYU of reflection a beenalways has Auction PILC forsuch work.$4,500 grant for the summer while 1Ls receive a receive $6,500 internships summer students who pursue public interestyear Second said. Corradomer,” doing public interest work this sum- seemslikemany more 2Lswill be Justice.“It Departmentof States Immigration Review the of United interning at the Executive Office for CarolynbewillCorrado who’11, internshipsatthe same level,” said interest public funding continue Public Interest Law Center. the Rakita,AssociateDirectorof “morecrucial than ever,” said Sara makes events like the PILC Auction t-shirt design to boot. for next year’s games organizers— returnhopeforcetowithin another in sumowrestling. hard to take a share fourth of place competitorsalso bumped long and place in the rock climbing event. The 3x3 basketball tournament and third the in place second lawschooltook row,athe second inyeartheFor anumber distinguished of finishes.

“Alyssa and I are very proudvery are“Alyssa I and Economictroublesaside,the will PILC that grateful “I’m The law school contingent’s school law The 11 (left)andJason Mollick h tdn esae f h e okUiest colo Law theNewYork Schoolof University The StudentNewspaperof Daniel Evans page 4 page 3 page 2 forthe Public Interest Law Center, for $2,600. Deb Ellis, AssistantPolicy. The farmhouseDean retreat went CenterRealforEstateUrban and Vicki Been, Director of the Furman house Deanof Richard- farm the Reveszat weekend and a was night themost popularthe items of of tributed auction items this year; one Seddon said. possible,”bewould this of none classes willhave tobemadeupinthefuture. snow. No classeswere heldand thelawlibrary was alsoclosed.All cancelled ond timeintwoweeks ofthedaywascancelled becauseof thatatleastpart snowstorm thathittheNortheast region oftheUnited States. It wasthesec- Friday, Feb. 26,whenNYUcancelledclassesforthedaybecauseof A snowman in Washington Square Park last happilydonsanNYUt-shirt Over 30 faculty members con - John McEnroe, in straight sets. who was dressed like tennis legend Dean, theagainst matchof-three tion. Ian ’11 Herbert won the best- - contribu faculty notable Another movement. rights LGBT the in Stonewall Inn, which was importantTriangle Shirtwaist Factory and the rights,laborthe birthplacethe of cal social justice landmarks including Greenwich of Village,” a lo- tour of contributed “A Radical Walking Tour Stavan Desai March 3,2010 Ryan Kairalla - tradi Auction PILC annual has become an Revesz,which “McEnroe” Richard Dean Wii Tennis with without tion the PILC Auc wouldn’tbe it rotta-Wurgler. Ma- Florencia Batchelder and Lily Bar-Gill, Oren enzie, s McK- r Troy o s s e f o r P with Movie” Bad a and ner was“Din- tion Of Of course, - Opinions & Editorials Page 2 c March 3, 2010 A Hammurabi’s Code for NYU Law Professors to Follow

By Mi c h a e l Mi x ’11 at 10:50 a.m., not 11 a.m. Please gunners to shut up. This leads to professors try to do it by memory for a future class? The answer is Ed i t o r -i n -Ch i e f don’t forget this. a string of random hypothetical which never works. apparently no. I am sure there are Also, even if you know what questions that don’t go anywhere Third, try to maintain some professors who actually make a It is hard enough to pay at- time class actually ends, do not just and cause everyone else in the kind of equality among the panels. conscious decision to improve tention to what is going on during ignore that time and keep us over. class to stop paying attention. I have had professors who for themselves based on evaluations, class in law school, but it is even I understand that sometimes the If a gunner asks whether Luke some unknown reason call on one but too many seem to completely worse when my professors can’t class is engaging in a juicy debate Skywalker has any defenses to or two panels way more than the ignore them. I know that publish- teach. This occurrence is com- about federal preemption of state the intentional tort of cutting the others. This is completely unfair ing may be more important to mon at NYU as I constantly see law that you do not want to inter- Wampa’s arm off, kindly refrain and leads to angry West Side Story- many professors than actual teach- professors do things that drive rupt. But professors, fight this from answering. esque rivalries between panels ing but please at least pretend that me up the wall. Therefore, I am urge. If you expect us to attend Rule 4: Make the Panel (without randomly breaking into you care about improving your here to help. Let me proudly your class on time, how can you System Fair – in my opinion, the song). teaching ability given the absurd present my NYU Law Rules of justify keeping us over and making panel system is the greatest inven- Rule 5: Breaks! – I wrote tuition that we pay. Teaching. Don’t think of this as us late to our next class? tion since the cotton gin. Well about this in detail last year, so Rule 7: Minimize Power- a Constitution, a living breathing Rule 2: Assign an Appro- maybe that is hyperbole, but it is I will not go over it again. But Point Use – I go back and forth document; instead think of this as priate Amount of Reading – I at least one of the greatest inven- I just want to reiterate that yes, on this because I have had a akin to Hammurabi’s Code – I am know that we are in law school and tions of the last 100 years or so, a NYU Law does require 10-minute couple of professors actually use posting it in the town square (sort that we are supposed to get a lot list that also includes the Internet, breaks for one hour and 50 minute PowerPoint very effectively. On of) and there will be dire penalties of reading. But professors, do you the electric guitar, craft beer, the long (remember Rule 1?) classes, the other hand, too many others for noncompliance. In the interest honestly expect us to pay attention shot clock and the just use it as a of space, I am omitting some rules to the same amount of minutiae in first-down line on crutch. If you that have been covered ad nauseam 80 pages of reading as we would NFL broadcasts. find yourself elsewhere (like not hiding the in 20 pages? I’d rather have a re- That being said, spending hours ball) or that are painfully obvious ally detailed conversation in class don’t misuse such omment The Guy Behind the Guy upon hours in- (like don’t accidentally show up at about two cases than frantically a wonderful teach- cluding nifty Columbia). racing through 80 pages. ing development c Behind the Guy animations and Rule 1: Begin and End In addition, keep the reading First, no mat- clipart, you may Class on Time – this does not consistent. If we normally read ter how big a class is, there should and the ideal time to take a break need to re-evaluate things. Fur- seem like a recondite skill to mas- about 25 pages a night, why would be no fewer than four panels. Hav- is exactly 50 minutes into class. thermore, don’t just sit and read ter but you will not believe how you randomly assign 50? Are you ing two or three panels is basically If you would like a more detailed the PowerPoint; we can all see the many of you professors are com- trying to pull a Nuke LaLoosh and akin to having everyone on call argument about breaks, please let slides behind you. Instead, use it to pletely oblivious to what time class announce your presence with au- every class. me know and I’d be more than supplement your teaching; don’t is supposed to begin and end. If thority? If so, it is not working. Second, don’t forget who happy to oblige. use your teaching to supplement you expect the students to know Rule 3: Manage Gunners is on call on a given day. There Rule 6: Read Your Evalu- the PowerPoint. what time class is, what excuse – this is mainly for 1L professors is nothing worse than when you ations – it’s amazing that when- Well there you have it. I hope do you have? You only teach one but I still cannot stress this rule mistakenly call on someone but ever I look at online evaluations, that this code does some good and or two classes a semester while enough: keep the gunners under that student does not have the professors consistently make the inspires professors to improve on we take many more classes. Also, wraps. I will freely admit that a gumption to correct you and say same mistakes year in and year some of their teaching shortcom- most four-credit classes at the law lot of professors are good at this that you called on the wrong pan- out. For example, if year after ings. If it does not, well at least I school are an hour and 50 minutes, – they refuse to let the gunners el. The easiest way to remember year, you are getting reviews say- probably set a record for the use not two hours. If a class begins dominate the conversation. But who is in panel is to write it down. ing you are in violation of Rule 1, of the second person plural in a at 9:00 a.m., it most likely ends others are just too nice to tell the This may seem obvious but some wouldn’t you try and remedy that column. thecommentator By Ch r i s Ro b e r t s o n ’11 Solution on Page 4 The Student Newspaper of the New York University School of Law Editor-in-Chief Michael Mix ’11 Managing Editor Joseph Jerome ’11

Staff Editors Stavan Desai ’11 Elyse Feuer ’11 Terra Judge ’12

Staff Writers Ashok Ayyar ’11 Ryan Kairalla ’12 Farrell Brody ’12 Andrew Kloster ’10 Brian Byrne LL.M. ’10 Gavin Kovite ’10 Dennis Chanay ’11 Douglas Martin ’11 Erica Iverson ’11 Marija Pecar LL.M ’10 Molly Wallace ’10

Crossword Editor Web Editor Chris Robertson ’11 Jason Law ’11

The Commentator serves as a forum for news, opinions and ideas of members of the Law School community. The Editorial Board consists of the Editor- in-Chief and the Managing Editor. Only editorials and policies developed by the Editorial Board reflect the opinion of the Editorial Board. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily those of The Commentator. The Commentator is issued on alternate Wednesdays during the academic year except during vacations and examination periods. Ad- vertising rates are available on request. Subscriptions are also available at a rate of $15 per year. Letters to the Editor should be sent to the following address, either on paper or via e-mail. All submissions become property of The Commentator. 240 Mercer Street New York, NY 10012 212.998.6080 (phone) [email protected] Opinions March 3, 2010 c Page 3 Message to the SBA: Less Alcohol, More Coffee and Ice Cream

By Jo s e p h Je r o m e ’11 by the student body? I realize I am funneled into this enterprise. More The unfortunate part is that for know there’s something to be said Ma n a g i n g Ed i t o r speaking for the minority here, but importantly, I don’t much like having all the good the SBA does the student for how per-capita student spend- from the first week of first year, all this drinking officially sponsored body, it seems most well-known for ing can boost a U.S. News ranking. Several weeks ago, the Student I’ve found distasteful the prodigious by my student government. these parties. I said earlier that I was But maybe the SBA can encourage Bar Association sent out its usual amounts of money this school and Now, I admit my limited re- in the distinct minority regarding my other things? weekly email detailing its weekly the SBA in particular spend on stu- search into the issue has failed to disdain for the Thursday night par- So I propose a compromise: sponsored party. Then, surprisingly, dent drink tickets and booze. uncover exactly how much money ties, but I often wonder if I’m really keep your parties but throw in the it sent another email the next day Virtually every Thursday eve- is being spent on these parties, but just in the silent majority. The SBA occasional ice-cream social, as well. denying any part in sponsoring that ning throughout the semester, the it strikes me that in a period where itself admits that attendance at the Halve the number of drink tickets party. Rumors started circulating SBA provides drink tickets for the the school is budget-cutting, reduc- parties falls off from class year to and replace them with free coffee. around the school and reached my student body to go out and enjoy ing student symposia and otherwise class year, and anecdotally, I know I refuse to believe encouraging ears, and in turn, I sought out various libations. I certainly don’t want to trimming expenses, axing students’ a number of students who’ve never Thursday night drinking is the only parties to comment on the record. come down on letting loose or free booze privileges could be one attended a single one. For us, what way to encourage a social life at the Everyone politely declined, and having a drink — since drinking is of the first things to go. I’m not silly are we getting out of this exercise university, and I would implore the that’s well within their right, but the apparently the universal method of enough to espouse getting rid of except curious rumors and the op- SBA to look at other avenues for whole mess got me thinking about detoxing from the stresses of law drink tickets at Fall Ball or any other portunity to out-gunner people on encouraging weekly gatherings at the the SBA’s Thursday Night Parties school, but as I don’t much enjoy honest-to-goodness “law school” Friday morning classes? law school. It’d give me more reason in general. going to loud Village establishments activity, but do we really need to be I understand that the SBA’s to review its emails for reasons other Why does the SBA sponsor (or for overpriced drinks, I don’t much funneling business into one Village constitutional mission is to encour- than suspiciously canceling a Thurs- subsidize) weekly drinking exercises like having any part of my tuition bar after another? age the school’s social life, and I day night drinking event. : A Show Worth Giving Up a Kidney For? By Mi c h a e l Mi x ’11 lem was that (Amy ample, most of this season’s best mo- ment. Apparently Pratt was only small-town government, and her Ed i t o r -i n -Ch i e f Poehler), the main character, was ments have come from Leslie’s boss going to be a supporting character in social quirks seem to come from basically a carbon copy of Michael (), a the first season, but he was so funny inexperience, not total idiocy. In What will it take for you to Scott, albeit female. Furthermore, bureaucrat who despises govern- that they elevated him to full-time fact, Leslie has actually had two watch Parks and Recreation? You the first season was way too plot- ment, thinks that everything should cast member. His childlike naiveté steady boyfriends already this want my lunch money? Done. heavy, focusing almost exclusively be run by private corporations, and works well in contrast to Ann’s seri- season. Furthermore, Leslie is You want me to do your chores on Leslie’s efforts to build a park in loves Bobby Knight, Steffi Graf and ous nature, especially in one classic actually really good at her job, as for you? I can make that happen. a pit next to the house of nurse Ann breakfast foods. He was the one sup- moment this season when he over- evidenced by one episode when You want a free ad in The Commen- Perkins (). The second- porting character who had any great zealously pretends to be an FBI agent Ron has to fill in for his underling, tator? Hey, let’s not get too crazy. ary characters had potential, but they moments in the first season, but this to interrogate an adolescent whom and he has no idea how to do In any event, I implore everyone weren’t Leslie believes has vandalized anything. In one of the season’s at NYU Law to start watching f leshed certain town landmarks. best lines, Ron begins a town hall the funniest show on TV in order out at all. Most of the rest of the meeting (usually run by Leslie) to keep it from falling into the T h e supporting characters, includ- with the classic, “My name is Ron. “brilliant but cancelled category” show had ing (Aziz An- You don’t need to know my last with such classics as Arrested a couple sari, who previously starred name. Whoever wants to talk, go Development, Andy Richter Controls good mo- in Human Giant, one of the ahead, and we’ll be out of here in the Universe, Freaks and Geeks and ments in most underrated TV shows a tight 15.” countless others. That’s right, I its first of the past decade) and April I know it’s hard to believe said it — Parks and Recreation is season, Ludgate (), shine that Parks is actually that good. the funniest show currently on but I was as well. However, the series’ But just indulge me and watch television. Would I lie to you? almost weak point is the pairing of one episode. I guarantee you it I know you are skeptical. ready to Ann and her current boy- is about 10 times better than this Maybe you watched the first give up friend Mark Brendanawicz season of The Office, which actu- season when it premiered in early on it. I (Paul Schneider), a city plan- ally stooped to a new low by run- 2009 as an NBC midseason re- told myself that I would give it two season he has stepped it up a notch. ner. They are the two most serious ning a clip show, almost causing placement. I’ll be the first to admit or three episodes, and then dump In one of my favorite moments, the characters on the show, and when- me to be as angry as Ron Artest that the first season was pretty it if it did not improve. Amazingly, gang goes to a strip club, and Ron ever they are paired together in plots, at the Palace at Auburn Hills. If bad. It was created by Greg Dan- though, the show did actually get stews unhappily, until he notices a there are perilously few laughs. you are looking for a good Parks iels and , the co-cre- better. I could sense it in the season’s free breakfast buffet and hilariously That brings me back to Leslie. episode to try, watch “Ron and ator and an executive producer on first episode, as the show’s writers devours pancakes like he was break- As I mentioned before, last season Tammy,” my favorite 30 minutes the American Office. This initially basically dropped the pit-into-park ing a fast. she was a clone of Michael Scott; she this season. In it, the show actually hurt the show as it tried way too plot and instead focused more on The other breakout support- was completely oblivious to social made guest star Megan Mullally hard to mimic its predecessor. I the characters. The writers clearly ing character is Andy Dwyer (Chris convention and relatively inept at her (Offerman’s real-life wife) seem don’t mind using the same for- realized that they had a lot of great Pratt), Ann’s unsuccessful musician job. This season though, the writers hilarious. If a show can accom- mula of a mockumentary in an stories to tell that weren’t completely ex-boyfriend, later given a job as a have really let her grow. It turns out plish that Herculean feat, you office setting, but the main prob- intertwined with the park. For ex- shoe-shine guy at the Parks Depart- that Leslie is just really idealistic about ought to be watching. Debate Heats Up in the Press: Lawyering Professor Fires Back To t h e Ed i t o r : themselves constantly. They need French verbs, and — whether they in a single semester, typically by not perfect. We know that young well-ingrained habits of hard work want to or not — learn civics. In recent law school graduates with associates do not routinely negotiate I am sorry that Josh Levy ’11 and personal responsibility; the medical school, along with anatomy little real world experience. Such multi-million dollar pharmaceutical believes “the nontraditional ele- self-confidence to plan and execute and pharmacology, first-year stu- programs may include two or three contracts. But the “soap opera plot” ments of Lawyering are largely a projects with no blueprints; the dents are now routinely required to research and writing projects plus of the mediation exercise looks waste of time.” After 25 years of ability to work effectively in both take a practice-simulation course a mock oral argument. Lawyering downright tame compared to some practicing law at a fairly sophisti- highly collaborative and intensely designed (in the words of the at NYU incorporates all of those of the actual cases I have mediated, cated level, I joined the Lawyering competitive situations (sometimes Columbia College of Physicians elements and more. Students are arbitrated and litigated over the Program last fall precisely because both at the same time); the people & Surgeons) “to provide medical required to turn in at least half past few decades. And the point of of the opportunity to teach the skills necessary to connect effec- students with strong skills in percep- a dozen writing projects ranging Lawyering is not make-believe; the “nontraditional elements.” It is tively with an enormous range of tion, communication and reflection from research memos to affidavits payoff comes from the effort the those elements, in my view, that are personalities in widely varying set- so that they may establish therapeu- to mediation and litigation briefs. students put into it. If the writer most likely to help NYU students tings; and the judgment — including tic and trusting relationships with The oral advocacy component, had taken the negotiation exercise distinguish themselves in what Josh the ethical judgment — to know patients and families, and with the which takes up most of March, is a seriously, rather than agreeing to calls the “real legal world.” In that where the line is without going to communities in which they live and robust one, incorporating a formal “take the average on every figure world — my world, for most of the library to look it up. practice.” Most law schools do not moot session as well as the actual to finish as quickly as possible,” he my adult life — students with good Yes, these are life skills but that provide a comparable grounding in motion argument, often before a might have learned something from legal research and writing skills are does not mean they “cannot pos- the skills necessary to practice law at sitting judge. Unlike most first-year it. And that, in turn, might save his a dime a dozen. These skills are of sibly be taught in the classroom.” the highest level of professionalism. programs, however, Lawyering lasts client a few million dollars the first course necessary for professional In kindergarten, children are not Perhaps that is why lawyers are held a full year, is taught by experienced time — there is always a first time success but are by no means suf- just taught to name the days of the in such low public esteem compared practitioners and goes beyond legal — he is actually entrusted with a ficient. What we look for in the hir- week and recognize the letters of to, say, doctors. research, writing and oral advocacy commercial contract negotiation. ing process, and what helps young the alphabet; they are also prod- NYU students are luckier to give students a grounding in lawyers get ahead in their careers, is ded to share their toys and clean than most: they have the Lawyer- what it takes to practice in the real Ba rb a r a Mo s e s the rest of the package. In the real up after themselves. In junior high, ing Program. At most schools, legal world. Ac t i n g As s i s t a n t Pr o f e s s o r o f legal world, lawyers need to push adolescents dissect frogs, conjugate legal research and writing is taught The Lawyering Program is La w y e r i n g Features Page 4 c March 3, 2010 You Can’t Go Out Looking Like that; You’re a Lawyer Undressing the Myths and Stripping Down to the Naked Truth About All Things Fashion Related

By Ma r i j a Pe c a r LL.M. ’10 is nothing wrong with being by their chaperones: Think of life. There are few bigger mood result of being forced to listen St a f f Wr i t e r a Miracle-bra-wearing, rather the look in the deer’s eyes as it killers and few things more de- to her incessant whining all the than -burning feminist. Choos- stares into your headlights. Then void of eroticism than getting way home, he’ll have lost all Fashion. Oh, where to be- ing to peruse a Victoria’s Secret amplify it. These poor men were frisky and then, just as you’re interest. And if, in your attempt gin. I guess I should start by catalogue or relax with a copy kicking themselves for foolishly about to seal the deal, wast- to be ultra fashionable, you team introducing you to some of my of Vogue, instead of battling agreeing to attend what was be- ing precious time, energy and them with a pair of skinnies, underlying assumptions and with Gender Trouble does not ginning to resemble a Russian enthusiasm peeling a pair of you’ve guaranteed yourself a fundamental beliefs. mean you are letting the cause circus show, decade of celibacy. First: There is no correla- down. That said, if you feel like featuring a On another note: tion between vanity and IQ. carrying a copy of The Feminine chor us line my mother owned/ Being blessed with a high Mystique in your handbag, by all of hyenas. owns a pair. As, I sus- intellect, possessing spectacu- means, go ahead. Just make sure So, what pect, did (does?) my lar analytical reasoning ability there’s room for your lipgloss in did I learn grandmother. Need I and having a broad range of there too. f r o m t h i s say more? extracurricular hobbies and in- Fourth: there is no such experience? Moving further terests (including a passion for thing as “effortless style” (and Not a whole north we stumble upon politics and a yearning to com- opting to sport your college load, though I the pièce de résistance, bat global warming) does not hoodie on a daily basis may be was reminded your newest accessory: render one immune from caring the former, but it certainly lacks of the sheer a pair of thick-rimmed about shallow externalities and all trace of the latter). In fact, brilliance of glasses. Now, as a obsessing about whether one’s the more “effortless” the outfit some fashion seasoned spectacle- checkered lumberjack shirt is looks, the greater the author’s trends that wearer, I struggle to better complemented by gray sweat of the brow. You can bet have stum- understand the fashion or black pants, or perhaps new the bum sitting next to you in bled off the industry’s attraction “distressed” jeans (which the the library spent at least twice catwalk and to what is essentially cute shop assistant insisted as long as you did that morn- into our clos- a functional item, de- were, like, “toootally IN”). And ing getting ready. Pulling off ets. signed to ameliorate this doesn’t even touch on the the “stylishly disheveled” look His- your visual deficiency flared/boot-cut/skinny/low- is quite the art form, and one tory reveals and put your ophthal- rise conundrum. that takes years to master. So, t h a t e v e r y mologist’s children But, a little vanity never the next time you see someone époque has through grad school. goes amiss. looking particularly scruffy: its own ver- Students and professors alike should follow the example of NYU Law Speaking from the In fact, these things can be look again. “Homeless chic” is sion of what Professor Samuel Rascoff, who has been quoted in theNew York (slightly blurry) perspec- enjoyable to think about, since all the rage. (However, that is I shall call the Times regarding his fashion expertise. tive of someone who pondering about the plight of no excuse for abandoning all “Constriction was regrettably been the polar bear can get a little ex- standards of personal hygiene Trend.” The 19th century had leg-hugging jeans off. And if sporting this trend through hausting from time to time. Feel and teaming the unkempt look the corset, which, although oc- you both happen to be fashion- childhood, proudly shouldering free to disagree, of course. with musky Eau de Vagrant). casionally inducing bouts of conscious (an attribute that nicknames such as “Four Eyes,” Second: Just because you Right, now that the prelimi- fainting, guaranteed women a initially attracted you to one I fail to see the appeal. For those are blessed with a brain that is naries are out of the way … If tiny waist — an essential acces- another but will now prove to of you who wear them yet are capable of storing, processing you’ve read this far nurturing sory at the time. 10th-century be your nemesis) and thus each secretly blessed with 20:20 vi- and regurgitating mass amounts the belief that I’m going to give China was a fan of foot binding, sporting a pair, good luck to sion: (1) shame on you; and (2) of information in a succinct, or- you the inside scoop on Fashion since miniscule feet are “in- you. Add to that the effect these you are misguided. For the rest derly and eloquent fashion (for Week and wild after-parties with tensely erotic” and give off the garments can have on circula- of you, think about contrast- reasonable remuneration) does Lohan and Hilton, think again. impression that one’s chastity tion, and basically, skinny jeans ing your daytime owl look with not absolve you from your duty, Alas, having realized that is intact, should any potential are essentially fashion’s prophy- evening contacts, or re-evaluate as a responsible member of so- getting into Bryant Park would suitors be in doubt. On the lactic. Watch out Trojan. how much you really need to be ciety, to look aesthetically pleas- probably be more difficult than other hand, Africa went through Next are “knock me down able to read every sentence of ing. Or, at least, to attempt to sneaking into the Pope’s Vatican a long-neck fetish, facilitated and [rhymes with duck] me” that book. do so. However, the scope and bedchamber … I opted for the by the elongating properties of heels designed to achieve opti- All bashing aside, fashion standard of this duty of care is next best thing: an afternoon brass neck-rings. mal leg angulation. They sound is fun, fearless and creative. low. We aren’t asking for Now, jump ahead to the salacious but don’t let that Provided you keep things in much. Just wear colors that super-advanced, enlight- fool you: in reality they’re so perspective. So, next time you’re don’t clash and endeavor ened 21th-century Western painfully high that she will be walking back to your table in to look presentable. Being culture and you get “skinny complaining so much about the the library, why not let yourself a lawyer does not sanction jeans.” However, despite agony they’ve caused her that, go and imagine you’re on that being unfashionable. the suggestive name, this come crunch time, she will no runway. Strut away. We promise (N.B. reader: if you garment is worn indis- longer be in the mood. Or, as a not to judge. happen to be a dude, feel criminately, by people of all free to skip to the next shapes and sizes, male or fe- paragraph — other than male. Finally, the egalitarian possibly providing you within you can be content: Solution with a sprinkle of literary Equality all around! (For enjoyment, this one will be better or worse.) of limited relevance and The plus side to skinny utility.) jeans? Given their unisex Third: Being fashion- appeal, you and your signifi- able does not equate to cant other can now share being anti-feminist, nor clothing, which will no does it mean that you are doubt give your relationship betraying your “sistas” or the added intimacy it needs perpetuating patriarchy. to take it to that next level Similarly, looking like you you’ve been itching to get got dressed in the dark to. Having exchanged leg- this morning or like your wear (with you sporting a outfit is the product of a pair of “boyfriend jeans” raid through your grandmother’s trip to Barney’s Warehouse and him wearing your jeggings), closet (and by the looks of it Sale. you can be confident that the managing to pilfer only her This was a slick, well-run vows are soon to follow, pend- throwaways), does not make you military operation, from which ing resolution of the inevitable the next Betty Friedan. Giving Obama’s organizational people confusion around who wears the off the impression that you (1) could learn a thing or two, while pants in the relationship. are colorblind; (2) do not own Freud would have a field day an- The downside? Apart from a mirror/iron/hairbrush; or (3) alyzing the hysterical (bordering the latent aesthetic discomfort a combination of the aforemen- on psychotic) behavior exhibited induced in onlookers, this item tioned, will not do you or the by the women involved, as well of clothing has the potential to “movement” any favors. There as the sheer terror experienced wreak havoc on your bedroom