DEEPDEEP INSIDEINSIDE

L.A.C.E. by Romeo San Vincente Leisure, Arts, Culture, Entertainment Portia de Rossi Pilots Butch and Fay OUT OF TOWN Portia de Rossi's life before coming out professionally was one of living openly while discussing nothing, NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE inhabiting the Hollywood glass closet. But in post-public- disclosure interviews, the acclaimed comic actress (Arrested by Andrew Collins Development) discussed that complicated life and its Considered to be the most progressive site throughout the '60s of Civil Rights subsequent difficulties. Now she's turning elements of that city in the Bible Belt, Nashville has demonstrations, the success of which past into a sitcom. Called - for now, anyway -Butch and developed into one of the South's gay- inspired similar protests throughout the Fay, the pilot de Rossi is shopping around Hollywood friendliest destinations over the past decade. South. These days, 5th Avenue has become concerns two actors, one gay and one lesbian, who marry Portia de Rossi The country music industry, with which rather artsy - it's the site of several excellent in order to further their careers. And lesbian director and former star Amanda Bearse will take the pilot's helm. No the city is famously identified, does have galleries and the nearby Frist Center for the Married with Children word on whether or not de Rossi will star herself, but it couldn't hurt the show's a fairly conservative reputation, but in fact Visual Arts, which occupies a handsomely chances of making it to the networks. Here's hoping we hear more about it soon. the city's legendary music business and fast- restored, art deco post office building growing theater and visual-arts scenes have and hosts world-class art exhibitions and compelled quite a few gays and lesbians traveling shows. Dan Butler to Karl Rove: I Love You to move here. Nashville now buzzes with A few blocks east, toward the What happens when a liberal, gay, Hollywood actor falls in love with an arch- offbeat retail and entertainment districts, Cumberland River, you'll come to conservative political strategist? The consequences of such a strange crush are explored in the latest indie comedy from writer-director Dan Butler, several energetic gay nightspots, and a Nashville's old Market Street, now 2nd Karl Rove: I Love You. Best known for his role as Bulldog wealth of attractions related to music and Avenue, where a long row of redbrick on Frasier, Butler stars in this self-produced mockumentary the arts. Victorian warehouses was rescued from as "Dan Butler," a depressed careerist actor in 2004, who Downtown Nashville is set around the neglect in the 1980s and converted into dreams of making the leading-man fame-leap by creating courtly Greek Revival-style Capitol, which restaurants, music clubs, brew pubs, and a one man show about President Bush's top (at the time) is perched atop the highest hill in the city. specialty shops. First Avenue runs along political adviser. The goal? The win-win scenario of both Behind it, the dignified Bicentennial Mall Riverfront Park, a long brick promenade swaying the 2004 election and getting his own name above State Park contains elegant fountains and with views across the river. Here you can the title for once. The Hollywood/D.C. satire is Butler's a 200-foot granite map of the state. You tour a reproduction of the settlement's first debut as a quadruple threat: producer, screenwriter, director, can learn a thing or two about the state's outpost, Fort Nashborough. and star, and audiences can see the finished funniness as it Dan Butler makes the film-festival circuit rounds. history at the nearby Tennessee State Downtown's most impressive Museum. History buffs should also note attraction is the Country Music Hall of the Beaux Arts-style Hermitage Hotel, Fame, a handsome and huge modern Rose McGowan! In Chains! where, in 1920, suffragists from around structure whose exhibits not only honor It seems like Hollywood's suddenly into imprisoning women. Of course, they've the country and their opponents encamped dozens of legendary musicians (Patsy been doing that for years now, figuratively speaking, but while debating the ratification of the 19th Cline, Johnny Cash, and Dolly Parton now the literal is taking center stage. First came news of gay Amendment (which granted women the among them) but also give an impressive filmmaker Alan Ball's adaptation of the earnest U.K. prison soap, ; then Fox announced it would be launching right to vote). overview of folk, bluegrass, rockabilly, Bad Girls a female version of Prison Break. Now, Grindhouse co- A block over, 5th Avenue was the Continued on page 27 director Robert Rodriguez will bring his '70s exploitation vibe to the pilot Women in Chains! That exclamation point speaks volumes about the level of wild lesbian mud wrestling planned for the series, set to revolve around Rose McGowan, Rodriguez's fiancee and _Planet Terror_ star. The director is shopping the show around to networks and Rose McGowan looking to bring his deranged, Caged Heat-like vision to a TV near you. And that mud wrestling will be tastefully shot, of course.

Romeo San Vicente can be reached at [email protected].

16 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 Community Dialogue lesbian notions Winning Isn't Everything was only able to raise about $330,000, with close to a third of it coming from a personal loan he by Libby Post made to his campaign's coffers. But establishment Democrats weren't the After pouring over $100,000 of his own only ones to abandon Neal's race. The Human money into his campaign, Jim Neal only took Rights Campaign and the Gay and Lesbian second place in this year's primary for the Victory Fund both took a pass. For those two Democratic nomination to challenge North groups, it all comes down to viability: Does the Carolina's Republican U.S. Senator Elizabeth candidate have an field operation? Can she or he "Liddy" Dole. Yet he's amazingly calm and raise money? Can the candidate win? upbeat. I understand the notion of not supporting a "I am in anything but depression," Neal told gay candidate just because the candidate is gay. me in a recent phone interview. "I was passionate There has to be a dividing line between investing about what I was doing, and I continue to be campaign funds and throwing the money down passionate about the issues that drove me to a losing drain. But it seems to me that both run." That's an incredibly refreshing response from HRC and the Victory Fund missed the boat on a candidate. None of the multitude of candidates this race. I've worked with over the years who spent their According to Neal and media reports, he own money and then went on to lose were ever and Hagan were running neck and neck in the quite so gracious or so upbeat. Maybe it's the polls until a month or so before the primary. southern upbringing. Maybe it's because, as a That's when Hagan, who had access to money gay man, Jim Neal understands just how long it - lots of it - was able to put her message on TV. really takes to win - whether we're talking about That's when an infusion of cash from HRC, the a field operation across the state and access to the of ideas about things I can do in the private one race or GBLT rights. Victory Fund, and the network of donors who media. sector to foster making social investments in But what could be more quixotic than an follow their lead would have been crucial for Neal also went all over the state talking to communities, like putting money behind people openly gay man running in a southern state Neal to keep up. real people about their real problems. "I visited who are trying to start businesses. The idea is against a Republican incumbent? How about "HRC and other GBLT interest groups do communities where folks didn't have running to create a venture capital fund that won't be an openly gay man running in a southern their own calculus, they have their own notion water, and where they were going broke just earning competitive financial returns, but will state primary election against an establishment of viability," said Neal. "But if people are going trying to get to work," he said. "Unfortunately, be earning returns by strengthening the fabric of Democratic woman candidate who was recruited to wait to see if you're going to raise money as a there's no money in these communities, so they communities." to run so that the openly gay man would not be viability test, but aren't willing to give you money don't get the kind of attention they need when Perhaps, like Al Gore, Jim Neal can have the nominee? to get there, you'll never meet the threshold. The budgets are drawn up and priorities are set. And more of an impact as a private citizen with a "People thought, 'He can't beat Elizabeth logic is twisted." these are the people who need it the most." vision than as an elected official with an agenda. Dole because he's gay.' Quite frankly, I think Viability is a real chicken-and-egg political He said running for office was one of the beating Dole would have been easier than question, and unfortunately, there's no right most wonderful things he's ever done, because of winning the primary," said Neal, who lost the answer. Each campaign's strengths and the folks he got to meet along the way. And it's May 6 primary to veteran North Carolina State weaknesses have to be taken into account. those folks - the ones without indoor plumbing, Libby Post is the founding chair Senator Kay Hagan. In Neal's case, I think HRC and the Victory who can't afford gas at over $4 a gallon - who are of the Empire State Pride Agenda The story of Neal's campaign is simple. He Fund only looked at the weaknesses. Jim has fueling what he does next. and a political commentator was an insurgent Democrat running against an some real strengths - he's a local boy who has "Every day people taught me more about on public radio, on the Web, establishment candidate. He had success raising made good; his heart is in politics to speak for what was going in their lives than any research and in print media. She can be money from that establishment in 2004 for those without a voice; and he understands how paper or any article I could read in the local reached at LesbianNotions@ various candidates, but when it came to his own money has become the "dirty underbelly of our papers or The New York Times." qsyndicate.com. race, "politicians have very short memories." He democracy." He also had a good campaign with And what are his next steps? "I have a couple

VIEW FROM FRANKFORT Executive Order A Return To Sensibility to put family pictures on their desk, discuss State agencies now rejoin hundreds Same-sex marriage is now legal on either by Sen. Ernesto Scorsone their weekend plans, or have their partner of businesses across the commonwealth, coast, and civilization has continued. pick them up for lunch. This won't simply be including nine of our ten largest employers, Our universities and many of our private Members of the GLBT community a step in the right direction for the employees. in prohibiting discrimination on account of businesses offer domestic partner benefits, working for state government can once again Without the additional worry, these workers sexual orientation. We're somewhat ahead and our economic progress has continued. breathe a little more easily. This is thank to can now be more productive, making them of the curve on gender identity, which is a Preventing public sector bosses from Gov. Steve Beshear’s recent signing of an more efficient for the taxpayers. refreshing change. While the executive order firing, demoting, or slashing the pay of executive order banning discrimination in the As the governor said on the day of the won't affect benefits for state employees, GLBT employees won't be the end of our executive branch merit system on the basis signing, experience, qualifications, talent and like those recently offered at UK, UofL, and commonwealth, either. Citizens and voters of sexual orientation and gender identity, an performance are what matter. At a time when NKU, it's certainly a positive step. know that. Once again, we have a governor important protection for all state workers. state government is cutting back drastically, This move is also historic for another who knows it, too. First a little history. Gov. Patton first both in terms of employee pay and the reason. Patton's and Fletcher's executive instituted the non-discrimination policy in number of new hires, it's important that we orders received extensive media coverage, but Senator Ernesto Scorsone, the 2003, a real act of courage on his part. Gov. hire and retain the best employees available to the public reaction to this governor's action Commonwealth's first openly gay Fletcher reversed the policy in 2006, ironically us — not just the straight workers. was much more relaxed. As we've increasingly legislator, has been a member of on Diversity Day. It's been a tense two years Importantly, Gov. Beshear did this at the seen in the last year, the idea of equality the Kentucky legislature since 1984, serving as a State Representative for many state employees, being forced to keep same time he made other moves regarding the and fairness are no longer as controversial for 12 years and, since 1996, quiet about themselves and trying to evaluate state's labor force, both public and private. It as they used to be, or as controversial as the representing Fayette County's 13th their bosses' opinions on sexual orientation. sends a signal that treating all workers fairly is right-wing extremists would like them to be. District in the State Senate. Once again, all state employees can feel free a keystone to our state's progress. Fearmongering isn't as easy as it used to be.

JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 17 Community Dialogue World View liberal on the sauce Looking Up from the Bottom of the Barrel by David Williams I think any Kentuckian with any neighborhoods in the state and by far something smaller and easier to clean. sense of decency was stunned by a the most racially, socially, and culturally When heterosexuals consider moving, poll taken after the primary elections a integrated. Republicans don’t have a they give some thought to whether a couple of months ago. In the contest chance here. prospective new neighborhood is safe. for the Democratic nomination for On top of that, most of my friends, They think in terms of burglaries, auto president, 20 percent of Kentuckians in and out of the neighborhood, are thefts, etc. But when a homosexual baldly admitted that race played a liberal or moderate Democrats. We considers moving, what’s near the top of major factor in their decision to vote share the same basic values on a range of his or her list is whether or not they’re for Hillary Clinton and against Barack issues from abortion to civil rights to the going to be harassed or their property Obama. Common wisdom says that disastrous war in Iraq. damaged. figure is probably low and the real one I guess I shouldn’t be surprised how I sometimes think a nice, suburban is closer to 40. It literally made my primordial other parts of the state are, neighborhood would be fun, but I United Kingdom: AFA Demands stomach turn. but I always am. Dinosaurs are beautiful wouldn’t want to live in a place where I’d “Stop The Kissing!” The national media, of course, jumped to look at. Just don’t get too close. It be shunned, even spat at. It’s easier for all over Kentucky and West Virginia, saddens me, though, when I look at single gays, from what I’ve heard. But An outspokenly anti-gay religious group based in the United which showed similar numbers. It was cities like Lexington and Louisville. when a same-sex couple moves in, things States has succeeded in convincing a major food manufacturer Kentucky’s one moment in the spotlight How can we ever get any respect when can get ugly. I’ve seen too many gay into removing a gay-friendly television ad. The commercial, this year, and we blew it. we have places like Owsley County to couples opting for older neighborhoods. which featured a kiss between two men, was only shown in the One pundit called us the “new contend with? The suburbs are too dangerous. United Kingdom. Ketchup manufacturer Heinz, headquartered in Pittsburgh, Mississippi.” A CNN reporter went out I noted as much in a letter to the Let’s face it. Louisville and Lexington was deluged with complaints from some of the estimated 3.5 of his way to find the most ignorant old editor of the Courier-Journal. In one of are surrounded by seas of multiple isms, million fundamentalist Christians who support the work of the coot standing in a cornfield spouting my rare piques of anger, I wrote, “I used with racism at the top. We need to figure American Family Association (AFA). Similar tactics have been racist remarks for the viewers back to take pride in telling people outside out how to cope with that predicament used in recent years by the AMA to push for the removal gay- home. The rest of the country laughed this state that I’m from Kentucky, in the 21st century as the rest of the state positive images in other advertising campaigns. The AFA has and went on its merry way, smugly but over the last few years I’ve been slides inexorably backwards towards the also encouraged boycotts of Ford and Disney because of their confident that the old stereotypes of telling them I’m from Louisville, NOT 12th. That’s not going to be easy. commitment to equality. Kentucky were, indeed, right on the Kentucky.” How can Louisville hope to "We suggest you forward this to all your family and friends letting them know of the push for homosexual marriage by mark. I began to wonder about that thrive, I noted acidly, when we’re forced David Williams served as owner/editor of THE myself. to put Kentucky behind our comma? LETTER for nine years and is founder of the Heinz," the AFA said in an e-mail message addressed to their In many ways I live in a bubble. I’m constantly reminded of that these Kentucky Gay & Lesbian Library and Archives American devotees. "This ad is currently running in England, but no doubt can be The neighborhood where I live—Old days as my lover and I prepare to sell that is housed in the Ekstrom Library at the University of Louisville. expected in the US soon." Louisville—is one of the most liberal this huge Victorian mansion and find The AFA has also hate-crime legislation that would protect GLBT citizens. HOOSIER VALUES A First: Soldiers March in Blog Spreads Anti-Equality implications of the recent California and the fact that GLBT peoples are Toronto Pride Parade Disinformation Supreme Court ruling and the completely locked out of those rights by Brandon Monson announcement by New York Governor and benefits. For the first time, members of Canada's Armed Forces Eliot Spitzer that all New York State Chris continues his observation by represented the military in Toronto's Gay Pride Parade, held this The Indiana Family Institute’s blog, departments and offices must adapt bringing up a great point, saying that in past month. The annual parade is the main event for Canada's largest Veritas Rex (www.veritasrex.com), is their policies to include GLBT couples his opinion, Mr. Clark is not driven by wanting to protect “traditional family pride celebration. It is estimated that one million persons usually a proving ground for the state’s recognized in places like California, attended the various events that made up Toronto’s Pride Week values” (whatever that even means), most well known anti-GLBT leaders Massachusetts, and Canada. festivities. to spew their nonsense. Recently Clark claimed "The revisions are but rather he is driven by an interest Lt. Steven Churm was one of 10 soldiers selected to march in though, something happened that I’ve estimated to involve at least 1,300 to further subjugate and marginalize uniform in the parade. He said the presence at the annual GLBT never seen, or at least not that I can incidents of marriage in state policies GLBT peoples in any way possible Pride event sends a clear message that the Canadian military is remember. including everything from the joint because if they don’t, they fear we are inclusive and an equal-opportunity employer. "The message to On a post from Executive Director filing of tax forms to the transferring all condemned to damnination. the public is that the Canadian Forces is an employer of choice. of the American Family Association of fishing licenses between spouses." People like Micah Clark and others We have employment opportunities that people can pursue, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation," Churm told (AFA) of Indiana, Micah Clark, Douglas then brought up the point that leading the charge to force GLBT Indianapolis politico Chris Douglas folks into second-class citizen status CBC News. "For our own members, they can be proud of what the AFA of Indiana, the Indiana Family they're doing and also be proud of who they are." brought up a point so eloquent and have become so vested in their quest to Institute, and related organizations To mark its place in the festivities, the Canadian Forces set pervasive my mind is still trying to have avoided this very fact for years, personally and professionally denigrate up an information booth in an area of the city where thousands grapple with it. Micah Clark was now choosing to acknowledge the GLBT citizens that they have a of people gathered for the start of the parade. discussing the supposed negative many blessings that marriage grants Continued on page 21 18 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 Rainbow of Thought

gay love coach Overcoming the Single Summertime Blues by Brian Rzepczynski, M.S.W. everybody is holding hands, and it just makes me sick! It just path to measure where you’re going and how you’re doing reinforces the whole realization that I’m single, dateless, and along the way. It’s important to identify your values, the it royally sucks!” things that would be most important for you in all those areas as this will define your mission. Then you can make The Single Summertime Blues conscious choices to make sure you’re living with integrity, a Brad has got a serious case of the “Single Summertime key component of living a life with healthy self-esteem. Blues!” Maybe you’re single and you don’t want to be. Could 3. Become available and ready for Mr. or Ms. Right! it be that you just ended a relationship with someone and this This means making the most of being single by taking is your first summer flying solo? Maybe you’re not sporting this time to resolve any unfinished business from the past those chiseled abs and biceps you’d fantasized about and to bring about closure, grieve any necessary losses, build compare yourself disappointingly to those who do possess confidence and a positive self-concept, and defeat negative these attributes. Or perhaps your life isn’t where you’d like thinking with more affirming, optimistic mindsets. it to be, unattained goals and wavering motivation getting Embrace your singlehood and stop measuring your self- you down. worth on your dating status; see this as a valuable time to With all the hoopla that the summer season touts, these get things in order so no baggage carries over when “The types of scenarios and many others can contribute to the One” arrives in your life. “blah” feelings that signify the “Single Summertime Blues”. 4. Develop a dating action plan and skills toolbox. Those afflicted with this condition can even feel depressed Make a list of your non-negotiable needs that you Summertime has arrived! Everyone is coming out of sometimes, harboring loads of negativity and defeat. have for a partner and relationship. What are things that hibernation and there’s a buzz on the streets as people come Remember that song “Ain’t No Cure For the Summertime you absolutely must have and absolutely cannot have in out in droves to partake in all the fairs, parades, sporting Blues?” It can certainly feel that way at times, but good news order to be in relationship with someone? This becomes events, and art shows. People are soaking up the sun at the abounds for all those “Brads” out there with an aversion for your guidepost in screening dating prospects for potential beaches, having barbecue picnics in the parks, and biking the summer season. There is an escape from the depths of compatibility and will help you save a lot of time and and hiking along the lakeshores and in the forest preserves. despair! Just embrace the following recommendations and frustration along the way. Additionally, start building For many, summer brings about a reawakening of the you’ll be well on your your repertoire of skills in communication, assertiveness, spirit, an invigoration of sorts for fun and activity. But for way toward becoming a flirting, boundary-setting, screening, etc. to boost your others, however, the season brings about a feeling of dread summer worshipper! These sophistication and confidence in negotiating the dating and helplessness. Why you ask? Let’s allow two fictional strategies, however, are jungle. characters, John and Brad we’ll say, illustrate this all-too not for the faint of heart! 5. Get out of your head! common experience. They will require initiative, When you’ve got the “blues”, there’s a tendency to John and Brad, two long-time friends, lay sprawled out courage, and risk-taking on become self-absorbed with your negative thoughts. Get out on a big towel on the beach and overlook the spectacular your part to bring about of your head and channel that energy into something more landscape of bronzed Speedo-clad men prancing around on any positive movement as productive. Nothing works better than helping others. the hot sand and basking in the waves of the ocean. this is a prerequisite for any Volunteer for a worthy cause. Live your life to the max “I love this time of the year! Just look at all these gorgeous kind of growth. You must and do something that will give you more of a sense of guys!” gasped John, becoming intoxicated by all the eye choose it and be proactive! meaning and passion. And take stock of all the strengths candy surrounding them. and positives that you have. You’re a good person! Share the Brad rolled his eyes and released a heavy sigh. “I can’t 5 Tips for Becoming A Successful gifts that you have and you’ll reap the benefits twofold! believe you dragged me out here today! I’d much rather be at Summertime Single So there you have it! This is just a starting point for the home watching my Desperate Housewives marathon on TV 1. Nourish your mind, body, soul, and sexuality cure for the “summertime blues.” The important thing is to than to be here getting charbroiled by the sun! Some friend We all need to take care of ourselves, but especially when start viewing your single status as an opportunity. Your life you are!”. you’re stricken with the “blues”, it’s even more critical to is what you make of it, as the old saying goes, and you have “Aw, quit your bellyaching! I did you a favor by getting engage in regular self-soothing and promote your own the power within yourself to make this the best summer of you out of your cave. And will you take your shirt off already? personal growth. Learn something new. Take a class. Visit your life if you choose. You can convert the “summertime This isn’t Alaska!” a bookstore. Get a personal trainer and get on an exercise blues” into “summertime bliss!” You’ll be great! “That’s easy for you to say! You and all these other guys regimen. Eat nutritiously. Do something that affirms your out here are really gorgeous. I still haven’t gotten rid of my gay identity. Meditate and practice relaxation techniques. winter love handles and there’s no way I’m going to showcase Keep a journal. Pursue a hobby. Get lost in music. While them for the world to see!” cries Brad as his insecurities run this seems like common sense, it can be very easy to ©2008 Brian L. Rzepczynski, All rights reserved. wild with every beefcake stud that walked by them. take these simple self-nurturing necessities for granted and To sign up for the FREE Gay Love Coach Newsletter filled with dating and relationship tips and skills “You’re too hard on yourself and you do this every summer! neglect ourselves when we need them the most to rejuvenate for gay singles and couples, as well as to check So you’re still coming with Craig and I to the Pride Parade, at difficult times. out current coaching groups, programs, and right?” said John. 2. Plan ahead for love and for your future teleclasses, visit www.TheGayLoveCoach.com. “Another one of my favorite activities!” sang Brad For optimal success, it’s important to develop a vision (a sarcastically. “I absolutely detest going to those Pride events blueprint or vivid picture of what you want) for your future, and seeing all those pretty boys with their boyfriends and for a life partner, and for a relationship. This will give you a

JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 19 Rainbow of Thought CLAMOUR UNDERBRIDGE habitation was also illegal. The punishment was $1000 fine point. Marriage is a civil contract enforced by the state and What’s In A Name? (big money for 1932) and 12 months imprisonment if done entered into between two parties. “God” is rarely invoked to by James W. Hensley “knowingly.” co-sign loans, liens and other contracts. How odd that this Here’s what the “activist” court of 1967 said when they one requires the Almighty’s seal of approval. Wedding bells are ringing in California for same-sex and overturned the bigoted marriage laws of Virginia, Kentucky It’s all in the name. Marriage is something that happens opposite-sex couples. The clamour is deafening. You would and a number of other states: in church. California and a few other states (Vermont, think it would all be anti-climactic since California already Marriage is one of the “basic civil rights of man,” Connecticut, New Jersey, New Hampshire, Oregon, Hawaii, had statewide domestic partnerships. You would be wrong. fundamental to our very existence and survival… To deny the District of Columbia, Maine, and Washington) tried to It seems that the little song I learned from Sesame Street is this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the keep the church crowd happy by separating church marriage correct. “One of these things is not like the others.” The racial classifications embodied in these statues, classifications from state civil unions or domestic partnerships. It’s not Supreme Court of the state of California did not find any so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart working. Civil unions and domestic partnerships don’t logical reason to call “an officially recognized and protected of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the convey the rights and responsibilities of marriage and are family” one thing for same-sex couples and a different thing State’s citizens of liberty without due process of law. The mostly ignored by Federal agencies, disapproving businesses for opposite-sex couples. It’s the name that matters. Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice and other groups that have a heterosexist agenda. And in The Supreme Court of California failed to address the to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discrimination. the state of California it was very clear to the Supreme Court entrenched and entangled relationship legal marriage has Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, that a domestic partnership was separate and unequal to with religion and the churches. We’ll come back to that. It’s a person of another race resides with the individual and marriage. important. cannot be infringed by the State. Let those wedding bells ring. The clamour is music to Let’s hop in the way back machine for a moment and The outrage was tremendous. Inter-racial marriage my ears. revisit the clamour from another Supreme Court decision. interfered with “God’s arrangement” of the races on separate That one was Loving v. Virginia. Ring a bell? It’s from the continents. God “separated the races” and “did not intend While he is co-pastor of Progressive Pathways Supreme Court of the United States and was handed down for them to mix.” It was all very predictable and very sad. Fellowship in Louisville (www.progressivepathways. in 1967. That decision struck down the Commonwealth The great state of Alabama fought back by waiting until the org), opinions expressed by James Hensley do not of Virginia’s marriage laws that were based on race. Anti- year 2000 before taking their inter-racial marriage law off the represent the official policy of the church. miscegenation laws were all the rage back in the day. It was books. ever so necessary to protect the sanctity of marriage from How very much like the denunciations and outrage over interracial couples. Kentucky’s last bite of the miscegenation the California Supreme Court Decision? “God made Adam apple was in 1932 when our legislature, in its wisdom, forbade and Eve not Adam and Steve.” “Gay Marriage… The Final marriages between whites and “negroes or mulattoes.” Co- Abomination.” How predictable and very much beside the

OUTLOOK WITHIN What Makes The Hump In My Tent Doty’s poem: by Bryn Marlow in each body, however obscured or recast, is the divine body--common, habitable— Recently, I woke up to the long hours I was spending the way in a field of sunflowers online gazing at one beautiful male body after another. you can see every bloom’s Gorgeous frames, faces, pecs, penises. Each man different, the multiple expression each man the same. Each one leaving me wanting more. of a single shining idea, That’s the nature of desire. It is never satisfied, always goes which is the face hammered into joy. to bed hungry. Repeats itself ad infinitum, ad nauseam. Poet Mark Doty jolted me awake to this fact with three Sunflowers, sexy men--all different, all the same--me, my words—longing’s repetitive texts—from his poem, “Homo husband, the actor, the men who posed for the photographs Shall Not Inherit.” For two weeks I repeated this newfound I ogled--we are all repetitive texts, a single shining idea writ mantra, then unplugged myself from the sources that (at my many times over in muscle and manhood, flesh and bone. request) had been sending me daily doses of erotica. Sunflowers can serve as an apt reminder. “Enough is enough,” I said. I meant it. Hmm. Several sunflowers had sprouted beneath our bird actions. Somehow Doty’s phrase woke me up to the camel “Enough is never enough,” Desire whispered. feeder. I asked Desire to accompany me. Picturing the actor, in my tent. But I was firm. I’ve heard it takes six weeks to change we transplanted these fledglings to a small patch of earth I asked for a one-on-one with Desire. He sauntered into a behavior. In the following six weeks I was back online along the garden path. There takes root my lust and longing my dining room, pulled up a chair. I thanked him for his role searching for erotica only twice. Had I changed? for the sexy thespian. There grows a green and gold reminder Not a chance. I was waylaid at the local community in my life, for enlivening my days. I asked him what he wants to stay awake to the nature of longing, to see past it to my theatre presentation by one of the actors. Tall trim body, and needs from me. I listened to his reply. true heart’s desire, to give thanks even as my face, my life, all chiseled features, large dark eyes, long brown hair that makes Desire wants sex, power, excitement and more of it. I I love, is hammered into joy. my heart ache. His character appeared on stage bound and pressed him about his underlying needs. He looked into bleeding. His expression mingled vulnerability and defiance. middle distance, spoke slowly. Said he needs to feel loved, Long after the performance I replayed images of him, mental acceptable. We surprised ourselves, got teary. I asked to hold Bryn Marlow lives in north-central Indiana with theatrics that featured his front and center. Desire licked him. I assured him he is loved. his husband Dave and enjoys being surrounded his lips and they were mine. Of course. Who am I trying We compromised, agreed to a limited amount of visual by the beauty of nature. to fool—escape Desire? This will happen only when I quit stimulation. I reminded him that there is a place for him in breathing, if then. So long as I am alive, Desire is joint tenant my life, but it is not the driver’s seat. He nodded. We were in my experience of life. back on track--for the moment. I want it to work like this: I give Desire room and board; Mindful of his camel nature and my own easy forgetfulness, he stays out of the control room. But he is part camel. Given I wanted to mark the moment, erect an ebenezer to remind an inch, he takes a mile. And I easily go unaware of my me into awareness. But what, how? I turned again to Mark 20 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 PRACTICAL FAITH views Jesus as a false prophet. Christians view Jesus as the that the knowledge we have is what defines us – whether it Faith Arrives Messiah. As you see, each faith has very different views of is an education, or just some other type of knowledge. We by Greg Bullard the same person. There are even more ideas of who Jesus seems to think that because knowledge RESIDES it is better is and was out there, but we do not have he space to share because you can build upon it. Yet, faith – the thing that It is amazing the ways that various people can see the same them all. pleases God does not reside – it ARRIVES. Today I will object. If we are standing around a house that has different What each faith has as belief is what defines its action use up every piece of faith that I have. Tomorrow we will siding on each side of the house we could plausibly argue and view of the world. The unique claims of the Christian get new faith to take me through that day. It is written: that it had brick, stone, clapboard or even plaster siding. We Community for Christ means that their faith is not mingled “faith comes by hearing…” You must choose to allow faith might see only our perspective and argue that it is the only with the Mandaean faith. The same is true for Islamic an to arrive in your life each day. To be sure it becomes easier to correct one, but it actually be all of them. Alternatively, we Zoroastrian views. Our society has lost the power and mystic allow it to arrive each day as you follow intentional practice, can say that all perspectives are correct and that none are that comes from faith that can direct a person to goodness yet it is something that will still not arrive until you need it. wrong. While there are times all perspectives may be true and God because we are so concerned about not offending I urge you to let faith arrive in your life. Know what you there are also times when there are some that are just wrong anyone. believe so that you can be a positive promising influence on – because a person does not have authority or authenticity Really, we need to be more concerned about how we share people’s lives. in their views. our faith than if we should have definitive beliefs. We are In regards to faith, different faiths view different person told, “iron sharpens iron.” If you have no solid belief or you Blessings, differently. Let us look at Jesus as an example. Muslims see cannot, or worse, will not proclaim your faith with a positive Pastor Greg Jesus as a virgin born messenger of God, not the son of God. and strong voice do you have any? My argument would be The Ahimadiyya movement in Islam believes that Jesus died that you do not. of old age in Kashmir. The Bahá'í faith teaches that Jesus Your statement of belief is not relevant if it does not cause Pastor Greg Bullard is pastor of Covent of the Cross, an inclusive is one of the messengers of the great religions on par with an actual change in behavior. Your behavior heralds your real Christian community located in Nashville, Tennessee. Muhammad, Buddha, Krishna and Zoroaster. Mandaeans belief. In our rush and desire for knowledge we seem to think

Congressional Leaders Urged to Approve Revisions to A.D.A.

In letters submitted to Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and Rep. John Boehner, House Republican Leader, Lambda Legal urges the House of Representatives FEEL THE to pass H.R. 3195, the ADA Amendments Act of 2008, a bill that clarifies the definition of what qualifies as a disability, to cover anyone who faces unfair discrimination because of a disability. “Unfortunately, the Supreme Court, and lower courts have narrowed the definition of disability and have limited the protections that the ADA provides,” said Bebe Anderson, LOVE! HIV Project Director at Lambda Legal. "This bill makes it clear that people with HIV are protected from being discriminated against because they have HIV, consistent with the purposes of the ADA." • Some of the greatest prejuidce lies withIN the gay community. Open your eyes to The bill has broad bi-partisan support, as well as support from many leading your own bigotry! You deserve to be marginalized for the way you mistreat your disability, civil rights, and employer trade organizations. Its provisions more specifically gay brothers. outline the definition of disability and overturn Supreme Court decisions that caused some people with disabilities to lose protection under the law. • I can't stand most gay people...most gays are the worst enemy to how society views A floor vote in the House is expected soon. On June 18, 2008, the bill was approved unanimously by the House Judiciary gay people...drama queens, backstabbers, gossipers, druggies, whores...stay away Committee and by a 43 to 1 vote by the House Committee on Education and Labor. from me!!!

• Attention Bar Flies: After 15 years your cuteness has worn off. I see how the years of drug and alcohol abuse have weathered your face and body. So why do you continue Continued from page 18 I urge you to join Indiana Equality to wear Hollister and A&F? Please grow up and get serious about your life! You are completely different fear altogether, (www.indianaequality.org) in this fight. well on your way to becoming just like the haggard queens you made fun of when you explains Douglas. This new fear, the root Contribute your time, talents and yes, were in your 20s. of their ever present prejudices, is that financial support. The other side can win Clark and others have realized that their this if we do not do everything in our • Why is it that just because I ask you your HIV status and we find out we're both homophobia has been renounced as flawed power. negative that you automatically assume we're going to do it bareback? Wear a and unacceptable. If you would be interested in throwing condom or go away! These anti-GLBT leaders don’t fight to a house party, volunteering for Indiana protect marriage—they fight to maintain Equality, or even just making a monetary • If you want good service then TIP YOUR BARTENDER! And please stop sleazing for the smoke screen that their inherent beliefs donation, feel free to contact us. If you’d free drinks! Talk about tacky! are not wrong; they know that if they do like information on volunteering we can be not put up that smoke screen, if they do not reached at [email protected], or • So you work at a store in the mall I go to. True: I used to have a crush on you. try over and over and over to disenfranchise by phone at (888) 567.0750. It was because I thought you were cute and nice. I'm so over it! So get over it, GLBT Hoosiers, then that says something and quit thinking that I'm stalking you. You have a face like Frankenstein and a about them. Brandon Monson is the personality to match. Douglas ends his comment beautifully Communications Director for Indiana Equality. by stating “It isn't about society's views of • How about some “truth in advertising”? If you insist on putting "hot", "cute", or us any longer; like the racists of the past, it's "sexy" in your screen name, at least make sure you live up to it! about society's view of them.” As you can see, the battle continues. JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 21 guest lettertorial The Strange Sexual Obsessions at The L.A.C.E.

Southern Baptist Theological Seminary DINING OUT by Keith Herron Ray Parella’s Italian Restaurant I don't think there's anything weirder serve as willing sexual partners with their by Beth Ann Rubin than religious sexual obsession. Sex is husbands making babies together as often tough enough without layering our as God (as in the life-giving reproductive [Ray Parella’s Italian Restaurant; 2311 Frankfort Avenue; obsession about it with some bizarre powers of nature) wills. Louisville, KY 40206. (502)899-5575 religious viewpoint. Why would these professors make married perfectly with the meat and cheeses. Jim Jones was obsessed with sex. David pronouncements that God wills for these We finished our appetizer quickly and were Koresh couldn't keep his hands off his young women to be so open to their own pleased to note that our meals would also be female followers. A group of radical fertility as to spurn birth-control methods accompanied by more of that delicious garlic polygamists were recently exposed for their and label them as acts of disobedience? bread sans the pepperoni and cheese. dirty little secret of sex between older men Such a theology they call "a full-quiver The entrees do not come with a salad but and the young teenage girls who became theology," meaning the quiver of a man is the restaurant offers a nice selection of greens if you feel the need for a healthy start. They do their wives. filled with the arrows of the offspring they offer a house salad ($3.50) in addition to four Like sex, religion is tough to keep sire with their obedient wives. different pasta salads. Soup is also available squared away without it being overrun These Southern professors have also and you can try the Chicken or the Minestrone with bizarre social and personal viewpoints. condemned the rebellion of young for $3.25 for a small or $4.00 for a large. After Flannery O'Connor aptly said, "You shall Southern Baptist men and women who indulging in much bread, we opted to skip the salad and select our entrée from the “Pasta know the truth and the truth shall make might choose not to marry until they are Louisville is home to a number of and Other Favorites” portion of the menu. All you odd." I don't think she was inviting older. Again waiting until they are ready is sophisticated Italian restaurants, such as of the usual suspects can be found including us to make weirdness into an art form and deemed as disobedience and condemned, Vincenzo’s and Volare, chain eateries like Spaghetti, Lasagna, Ravioli and Parmigianas. blessing it in the name of God. I think she as if such condemnation was according to Macaroni Grill and the Olive Garden and other Most of the pasta choices are offered with a was holding up a mirror so we would see the eternal plan of God. Should there not spots with a fair amount of pasta specialties. red sauce, be it tomato or meat. Dinner prices But when it comes down to digesting a platter start at $9.25 for Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce ourselves more clearly. be some gladness to such wisdom from of spaghetti and rich, meaty sauce you cannot and top out at $14.95 for Chicken Parmigiana. Over the years since the takeover of our young adults who would thoughtfully beat Ray Parella’s restaurant. Four different styles of Pizza can also be had Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, the enter into marriage and creating a family? Located on Frankfort Avenue in the midst for $8.95. ickiest viewpoints about sex, procreation Does it really matter much to the rest of us of that area’s restaurant row, Ray Parella’s offers My one dining partner decided upon the and pleasure have been lurking in the when they make this choice? homemade goodness with their casual menu Meat Ravioli ($12.00). Five plump pasta pockets were stuffed with meat and cheese theological minds of the president and Back to the latest weirdness at hand ... of Italian-American entrees. The restaurant is housed in a historic building that dates back and served under a chunky tomato sauce with professors who teach there. this past month, a report was carried on to the nineteenth century. The front porch melted cheese on top. She enjoyed her meal Once a viable center of creative and EthicsDaily.com of a sermon preached has been adapted for al fresco dining while but could not quite fit all five raviolis into her respectable theological thinking, now we recently by Bruce Ware, professor of the interior boasts a dining area with 10 or petite frame so, alas, we had some leftovers for are subjected to the strangest of sexual Christian theology, at the Denton Bible so tables. As is expected in older homes, the the next day. obsessions that focus on the means and Church pronouncing that women bring ceilings are quite high which gives the room a My other partner abstained from the red sense of spaciousness but does not detract from sauce and ordered the Penne and Smoked motives of sex slimed by the notion they physical abuse by their husbands upon the cozy atmosphere. Chicken ($13.95). His dish consisted of a claim to represent the viewpoints of the themselves by their desire to have their The menu reflects that same feeling of plate of penne pasta topped with a creamy God who created sex. own way rather than submitting to the comfort with familiar pasta items with slow white basil sauce and chicken and then covered Remember, this is the seminary that authority of their husbands. cooked Italian gravy. The Parella family has with smoked Provolone cheese. He found the has defended the torture of prisoners of There's only the thinnest of blame been serving diners since 1961 and they are dish somewhat bland although the chicken had proud of their real Italian cooking and strive to a distinctive basil flavor from the sauce. He felt war by our government as a means of self- offered to women who suffer brutality at continually perfect their pasta and sauces. This the dish could have used more “smokiness” but defense in a world marked by international the hands of their abusive husbands, which is one place where there is no wood burning he still managed to ingest most of the pasta. terrorism. he claims is linked to Eve's sin of rebellion oven on display and you don’t have to wait an I ordered the Chicken Parmigiana which One is left to ponder what it means in the Garden of Eden. Men whose wives hour and a half for a mediocre meal. I was came with a side of Capellini pasta or Asiago that both viewpoints are held by the same demonstrate such rebellion often act in looking forward to some good food and a glass Mashed Potatoes. I departed from the pasta of wine in a locally owned restaurant. And my norm and selected the spud option. I found professors of theology and about the one of two ways, claims Professor Ware. companions and I got just that. the dish delicious. Breaded Chicken breast theological worldview that is now forming They react either in strength and beat their We started the meal with glasses of house was covered with a tomato and wine sauce the faith and thinking of those who study wives, or they acquiesce and become weak wine which we selected from a short yet and then topped with cheese and baked until there. male partners with their domineering thorough wine list. Bottled beer is also melted. The cheesy mashed potatoes truly In the past few years, the greatness of the wives. available. As we perused the menu, we noted complimented the chicken and I found the pasta alternative quite pleasing. seminary has been tainted by an obsession Perhaps warning signs should be posted that an appetizer would fit the bill quite nicely and there were seven options from which to We thought about dessert, especially the with procreation and filling the womb of at the entrance of the seminary: "Warning! choose. With the exception of the Bruschetta tasty looking Cannoli, but passed since we each young Christian women who are sexually Sexual Obsessions Abound Here ... Enter Bread ($5.95), all were priced at $6.95. had a doggie bag for home. There is always submissive to their husbands as an act of at Your Own Peril!" We decided upon the Stuffed Pepperoni next time and there will be a next time. their commitment to God. The Southern Loaf which consisted of a loaf of garlic bread Ray Parella’s is really a great choice when faculty have advocated in the past that Keith Herron is senior pastor of Holmeswood sliced and filled with pepperoni and three you have that pasta craving. The food is good, Baptist Church in Kansas City, Missouri. different cheeses. The bread was served with the atmosphere is pleasant and you leave the Southern Baptist young women must a side of Marinara. The buttery goodness of restaurant feeling like you just enjoyed your the bread along with the redolence of the garlic Italian Grandmother’s Sunday meal. 22 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 54 Come together 56 Continent of the ANC ? 58 Op-ed columnist Post as a feminist ? ? advocate? 64 Frida's husband PUZZLE 66 "___ Need Is the Girl" (song from Gypsy) Q 67 "You're the Top" songwriter Porter 68 Maria's "do" equivalent "By the By" 69 Aspen vehicle 70 Enjoy on the floor, in days of yore A puzzle that adds "by" to popular 71 It helps you get to Gay.com phrases to change their meaning 72 Gay cable network 73 Spills one's seed Across: 1 Pull a boa behind you? Down: 5 "I'm not in the ___!" 1 "Nuts!" 9 Coward's milieu 2 Indian head 14 Cicero's queer 3 Gaza Stripper, e.g. 15 Isherwood's ___ Camera 4 Queen Christina star 16 Like Alexander Pope? 5 Williams of Brokeback Mountain 17 Open a crack 6 Island of Diamond Head Beach 18 She played gay in Silkwood 7 Hint to the future 19 Like bounteous breasts 8 Comes quickly 20 Dogcatcher's counterpart in old films? 9 Meat that you hold in your hand 23 Little Miss Evil writer Raphael 10 Lid for Barrie 24 Rough stuff underground 11 Delicious fruit stewed to a pulp 25 Part of a Tommy lyric 12 Oz visitor Dorothy 27 Abbr. of old in Tatu's land 13 How far up it goes (abbr.) 30 One-armed bandit's opening 21 '69 and others 33 Like Whitman's leaves 22 Head lines? 36 Chain with fruit syrups 26 She played with Sherman on The 38 Bear's den Jeffersons 40 About to blow 27 Boobs 42 Roddy McDowall's Batman villain 60 Glenn Burke, formerly 41 Spike Lee flick about Melville's Dick? 28 Dinah of a golf classic 43 Where to ogle boxers 61 Chastity is one 44 "Please" to Marcella Hazan 29 Mike Brady portrayer 48 Keanu in The Matrix 62 Pleasure orally 45 Drag queen ___ Phace 31 Scout's promise to be "morally straight" 50 Long, slippery one 63 Weapon suppliers in Robin Hood: Men 46 160 rods 32 Tennessee tight end, e.g. 53 Overhand stroke, for Amelie Mauresmo in Tights 47 Talk by Jane Spahr 34 Howard, who cross-dressed for Miss 55 Beats or pleasures 65 When doubled, slang for the rectal 49 With Malice Toward ___: A Life of America 56 Gay video directory name opening Abraham Lincoln 35 Ass-kissers' responses 57 One who may want a bone 51 Madonna's pair 37 Rain forest native with a small package? 59 Woods of Legally Blonde 52 Little bikers in a Gay Pride march 39 Tow job (See Q PUZZLE ANSWERS on page 24)

SEX TALK fidelity is that it simplifies matters. We're Our guy in a decades-long relationship Monogamy still attracted to other guys, of course. But relates, "In our case, we decided to only by Simon Sheppard not giving in to - well, let's call it 'lust' - have sex with other men in three-ways. That reduces the risk of everything from jealousy added welcome variety, but unfortunately "Gay men have a reputation for fooling to venereal disease. And by restricting our led to jealousies when the third was more around," says one idealistic guy in his outlets, I know that when I'm horny, he'll interested in one of us than the other. So mid-20s. "But my partner and I have been be ready, too." now we have occasional one-on-one flings, faithful to each other for over five years, and It may not be easy for two men in love and just trust that they're not big threats. we both love it. Sure, some of our friends are to maintain monogamy. As our monogamist After all, our messing around on the side skeptical, but we manage to make it work." proclaims, "Fidelity's not for the faint- doesn't mean we love each other any less." It can sometimes seem that there's a hearted." Nature seems to have hardwired It's not only long-timers who face pitched battle in the queer community guys with an itch to mess around. Urban challenges. One young guy just starting his between men who put down promiscuity gay communities are full of tumescent first steady relationship says, "I really love and guys who proudly identify as sex pigs. temptations. And - let's face it - after having certain to burn less hot with time. You either my hubby, and I'd like him to be my one and Says a fellow from the slutty side of the sex with the same guy for years, boredom accept that fact and go on from there, or live only. But he has a terrible self-image, and is fence, "Sure, monogamy might seem like a can set in. But monogamy need not equal a sex life of frustration. Or you can do what just not into sex that much. Since I'm always nice ideal. But in reality? From what I can monotony. Being finely tuned to a steady my mate and I did, and decide on what we horny, if I intend to stay with him, we're see, it rarely works over the long haul." partner's responses can make things go better call 'modified monogamy.'" either going to have to give up monogamy, Other guys would beg to differ. Many in bed, and trusting your partner can lay the Such almost-monogamous relationships or I'm going to end up masturbating three men - especially younger ones - view open groundwork for edgy sexual exploration. aren't thoroughly open, but abide by times a day." relationships with suspicion and disdain. Still, the urge for variety is strong. mutually agreed-upon rules. Beyond good Not everyone approves of such Sometimes, though, the considerations Says one fellow in a decades-long old "don't ask, don't tell," there's the once- compromises, though. "Some gay guys can are more practical. Says our mid-20s partnership, "Though there are tricks to only decree, the not-in-our-bed agreement, be such spoiled brats," our faithful mid- monogamist, "One of the nice things about keeping the sexual flame alive, it's almost and the only-on-business-trips escape clause. Continued on page 24 JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 23 the outfield Ranging Onto Unfriendly Ice by Dan Woog the homophobe; the man apologized. "Maybe he thought been granted. my nephew would kick his ass," Jennings says. "I know people are busy, and blah blah blah, but the It's summertime, so Kevin Jennings' thoughts turn to... In his best teachable-moment manner, Jennings wrote lack of response makes me nervous," Jennings says. "The ice hockey. to the Rangers about the incident, and about homophobic silence for five months after our first contact shows a lack of The energetic educator/activist - who has recently slurs at games in general. "Naively, I thought they would do seriousness. I hope it wasn't all a smokescreen." stepped down as executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and something," he says. No one responded, so he wrote again. He does not believe the Rangers are malicious. "I just Straight Education Network (GLSEN), a youth advocacy Finally, Jennings received "a blow-off reply." The Rangers don't think they were aware they had gay fans - or the organization he founded 13 said they had completed their charitable donations for the [straight] fans realized it either. Change is a process, not an years ago - is a lifelong hockey year. event. I'm under no illusion that everything would change if fan. He grew up rooting for "That wasn’t what I was looking for," he says. "I told they called today and said, 'Let's meet.' But I want them to the Boston Bruins, and during them, 'I want you to educate your fans.'" realize that everyone is there to have fun. When name-calling a three-year span, attended So the media-savvy GLSEN leader enlisted the help of is tolerated, a lot of gay AND straight people can't enjoy the every minor-league game in his two heavy hitters: City Council speaker Christine Quinn, game." hometown of Winston-Salem, who is a lesbian, and Ted Rybka, director of sports media Jennings draws parallels between his work with schools N.C. Moving to New York City for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. In and his outreach in sports. "GLSEN's mission is acceptance in 1993, he became a regular at March, the New York Times ran a story documenting the of everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. Sports is another Madison Square Garden, where long tradition of gay slurs at Rangers games. It included a arena to teach acceptance. Sports is where a lot of young men the Rangers play. response from a Madison Square Garden spokesman. He learn how to behave. If they get the message there that it's But adults in the stands said that "homophobic or racially or culturally insensitive okay to be antigay, that's wrong. Schools can't do it alone. often sounded as ignorant and behavior is unacceptable at any event (here), and we have We need to send the message at hockey rinks, too." immature as the schoolchildren taken aggressive steps to deal with the offensive behavior of a Like a good teacher, Jennings understands that no issue is Kevin Jennings whose behavior GLSEN works very small minority of game attendees." black and white; there are always shades of gray. His partner so hard to change. Players were routinely mocked as "faggots" Part of that statement is true, Jennings acknowledges: is from Columbus, and when they're in Ohio, they attend and "queers"; a season-ticket holder who tried to incite the the Garden does eject fans who use racial epithets or scream Blue Jackets NHL games. Jennings has never heard "faggot" crowd with an antic dance was derided as "Homo Larry." four-letter words. And that makes the inaction surrounding slurs there. Earlier this year, the couple took 15 nieces and Even the scoreboard was booed, when it briefly flashed antigay speech even worse. nephews to Nationwide Arena, the Blue Jackets' rink. the name of the New York City Gay Hockey Association He had high hopes after the Times story, when Rangers "I'm not sure I'd do that at Madison Square Garden," (NYCGHA). executives agreed to meet with him. But by late spring, there Jennings says. "I don't want to send the message that This year, Jennings had enough. As fans near his seat yelled was still no follow-through. I'm comfortable in an antigay environment, or that that "faggot!" at a Philadelphia Flyer, Jennings confronted them. Jennings is not demanding major changes. He simply atmosphere is acceptable." "Are you really gay?" one asked. "No," Jennings thought to wants officials to air public service announcements during himself. "This is just a cool way to win a popularity contest games, urging fans to act more respectfully. Jennings would in a crowded arena." also like the Garden to train its staff on how to intervene with Dan Woog is a journalist, educator, soccer coach, gay activist, and author But he kept quiet, and didn't hear when one man muttered, offensive fans. And he has offered to facilitate a partnership of the "Jocks" series of books on gay male athletes. Visit his website at "That's your problem." However, Jennings' nephew - a between the Rangers and NYCGHA. www.danwoog.com. He can be reached at [email protected]. former college football player - heard the slur. He stared at He's skating on thin ice. So far, none of his requests have

SEX TALK Continued from page 23 ?? 20s man says. "It may be a trade-off, but by jealousy or fear - or if one partner is guilt- ? I'll gladly sacrifice the transitory thrills of tripped into it by the other. And, should one PUZZLE tricking for the rewards of focusing in on one fellow slip up and screw around, forgiveness is QANSWERS special fellow, and him alone. I can't imagine more constructive than anger and reproach. from page 23 wanting anyone else as much as I desire the The basis of the gay movement, after all, man I love." is that a one-size-fits-all model doesn't work Ultimately, there's no simple answer to when it comes to sex and love. So whether the monogamy question. Is the one-dude you forsake all others, or fool around on the decree a heterosexual invention that's ill- side, be nice to each other, be honest, and FREE suited to male/male relationships? Or is it a don't bring home crabs. Online Dating sign of deep and abiding love? Maybe both, depending. Circumstances change: child- Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty rearing enters the picture, guys get older, Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties OKCupid.com emotions evolve. If fidelity is what both men 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and want in their heart of hearts, it's more likely can be reached at [email protected]. to work out than if monogamy is prompted 24 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 radically serene VIDEO SPOTLIGHT Stealth Important Lessons from A Sleepy Midwestern Town by Cubbie Britches by Dave VanderPol, Executive Editor ([email protected]) From all outward appearances, Lionel is a happy gay man with a career as a cultural Will you love me any less because you know that I occasionally watch soap operas? I commentator on Swiss radio and a family hope not! “Tolerance”, right? who accepts his devoted lover, Serge, as one While my all-time favorite soap is still The Young & The Restless (I sure wish they of their own. After discovering the story would bring back Brenda Dickson, the original Jill Abbot!)¸ I have come to have much love of a scurrilous ancestor who emigrated and respect for As The World Turns (ATWT) since they added an openly gay character, from Poland to Switzerland, Lionel begins Luke Snyder (played by Van Hansis). to immerse himself in everything Polish. Thirteen months ago ATWT introduced us to the character Noah Mayer (portrayed by Lionel’s life begins to heat up when he meets Jake Silberman), who has since more-or-less come out of the closet and more-or-less (most a pretty Polish immigrant facing deportation of the time?) become Luke’s boyfriend. In soap opera shorthand Luke & Noah are referred and decides to marry her, which threatens to simply as “Nuke”. Nuke is the first gay couple to be portrayed on a soap opera. This is his domestic harmony. In pursuit of his historic, is it not? family’s roots Lionel and his sister, Lucy, a In true soap opera fashion, Nuke has had more plots twists and relationship ups and social worker, take a road trip to Poland. This downs than I can count. One day they are solidly in love. The next day they are “splitsville”, sweet oddball story shuffles between sex, or on the verge of never having anything to do with each ever again. Don’t we Drama Queens family love and adventure with a confused, just love the drama?!? self-absorbed vision. (French with English But can any important lessons be learned from the trials and tribulations of Luke and subtitles) Woolly Video, 1021 Bardstown Road in Noah? Definitely! Most of them are painful and ones I would like to forget. My short list of Stealth is available for rent at Wild & Louisville. Invaluable Nuke Reminders goes like this.

• Growing up gay can be very painful – especially in a sleepy Midwestern town like BOOK MARKS Oakdale, Illinois, which is ground zero for ATWT. Being raised in a medium-sized Indiana town (Terre Haute) makes me tremendously grateful for the many GLBT The Palace of Varieties community resources we have here in Louisville (and most major metropolitan by Richard Labonte areas). Apart from the Internet, many small town folks don’t have “instant community” available to them. I’m GLAD folks in small towns have the Internet [The Palace of Varieties, by James Lear. available to them, but that’s hardly a substitute for face-to-face community. Cleis Press, 284 pages, $14.95 paper.] • Being raised by a homophobic parent (as was Noah’s character), along with being exposed to potentially many other societal factors, is sure to produce TONS of England is mired in the depths of the Great internalized homophobia (e.g., self-hatred). Noah’s in-and-out relationship with Depression, there's no work for young Paul the closet -- and on-and-off relationship with Luke – serve as painful reminders Lemoyne, and he's tired of his father's abuse. that no matter how much you may love your significant other, there is simply no What's an 18-year-old with a handsome face, “fast track” to instantly zap away internalized homophobia. As a community, we a lean body, an awesome endowment, and a need to avail ourselves to coming out and other support groups and gay-affirming late-blooming libido to do? Why, leave his professional mental health therapists in order to rid ourselves of the emotional pain that goes with being raised gay in a hostile family and/or society. Wishing impoverished family for the bright lights of and hoping that pain will disappear without effort and support isn’t rational. London, where the lissome lad can consort • Richard Bach was right when he observed that it is best let go of people who can’t with men of means willing to pay a cutie for make a commitment. His quote is worth re-quoting: “If you love someone, set toe-curling sex - though he isn't averse to them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” The servicing working-class toughs as well. way that Luke goes chasing after Noah, begging him to come to his senses, just Lear's novel sends up a classic genre: the drives me nuts! How I’d love to slap a copy of the best selling self-help book innocent who is led astray by the wild, wide CoDependent No More in his hands! (Then again, to coerce someone to read a world and, after a spell mired in down-on- codependency self-help book would be rather codependent, would it not?). his-luck depravity, returns to a righteous Sending Noah off to a coming out support group and encouraging Luke to find a therapist path. But there's a twist: it's a cheerfully filthy rote, while Paul's erotic pleasures culminate to help him with his codependency issues seem like great ideas to help our beloved soap work of fiction. Lear is endlessly inventive in a redemptive moral message. characters move on to the “next level” of their existence. But back here in the “real world” about sex, and Paul is sexually insatiable, so someone is rutting with someone every what can be done to help the real people whose stories often parallel the many plot twists Richard Labonte has been reading, editing, selling, experienced by Nuke? couple of pages, always enthusiastically and and writing about queer literature since the mid-'70s. often poetically. The wonder is that the sex He can be reached at [email protected]. • Every town, regardless of the size, needs a chapter of Parents & Friends of in this extravagantly smutty novel is never Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) to our loved can find support to overcome their issues. It is often overlooked that PFLAG offers great support for us GLBT folks, whether we’re still in-process or fully out. • Every town, regardless of the size, needs a coming out support group. It disturbs GOT SUGGESTIONS? me that Louisville no longer has a group (for either women or men) with the sole We're all ears! focus of helping folks come out. Do we have any qualified individuals amongst our readers willing to help begin such a group in Louisville or elsewhere within [email protected] Continued on page 27 JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 25 fit in might be worth considering. Trying to have fun may seem more kinky, be especially careful! Accidents are just trouble than it's worth. Perhaps begging to happen. HHH H LIBRA (September 23 - October you're being too competitive. You 22): Careers should be fulfilling, need to excel in your work and _some_ creative PISCES (February 19 - March 19): SCOPES and relationships should alleviate endeavors, but relax! The best fun is more Efforts to play with your partner may Q stress - that's the basic idea. A retreat from about fun than about being best. fall flat. Is your baby being clear both seems tempting, but there is no escape. about his or her needs? Are you really You need to work on the issues with your CAPRICORN (December 21 - January paying attention? The real problem may be "Let off Steam, Cancer!" partner, who can then help you with the work 19): Having to be right about more about a difference in values and priorities by Jack Fertig problems. everything is only part of the stress than in playing well together. you're having at home, but it's the A Mars-Saturn conjunction in Virgo makes SCORPIO (October 23 - November first part you need to work on. Try to listen everyone more hateful; hard aspects from the Jack Fertig has been a 21): It's a little too easy to come off humbly to others, and to accept their point of professional astrologer Sun and Eris don't help! Rein in your inner as overly critical. Remember those view without necessarily understanding it. since 1977. critic, thank others for sharing, and let it sayings about throwing stones, whether first pass! or from a glass house. Focus your acuity on AQUARIUS (January 20 - February yourself and on any improvements you'd like 18): Meaner, harder, and kinkier ARIES (March 20 - April 19): to make! might juice up your sex life, but is Anything felt as a threat to your turf, it really what you need? The answer is in your family, or community may raise your SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 20): own heart, not in the fetish ads. If you do get ire beyond reason, or at least beyond strategic good sense. You may be wildly overreacting to unintended slights. Offer people a chance to explain before launching the missiles.

TAURUS (April 20 - May 20): Everyone is being a bit touchy. It will take more than the usual effort not to react. Your own reactions and resentments will surface with embarrassing ease. Give your frustrations a creative outlet, which will abate the problem, but only some.

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20): You may be at odds with your usual allies and friends. Conflicts between ideals and traditions appear to be at the heart of the problem. The answer is more likely found in your heart than in any doctrine or history.

CANCER (June 21 - July 22): This birthday may have you feeling old and overly aware of life's annoyances. Give yourself an opportunity to rant and let off steam about your frustrations with career and authority figures. Just be very careful where you do that!

LEO (July 23 - August 22): Commitment to certain values is important. It's also possible to take your own beliefs too seriously. You're tempted to argue with others, but the challenge you really want is with yourself. Questioning a teacher can be helpful. Remember that you are the pupil!

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22): It seems you are "supposed" to fit somewhere in your GLBT community, but you don't. Being an individual and queer even among queers is fine, even if it gets you some flack. Still, making some compromises to 26 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008 OUT OF TOWN - Continued from page 16 and many other genres with close ties to Nashville. The nearby Ryman Auditorium restaurant in Hillsboro called Fido. is one of the grand music icons of downtown, often hosting Grand Ole Opry shows. For gay nightlife, head to Church Street in the West End. Arguably the Seating is in old wooden pews, and behind-the-scenes tours are given during the neighborhood's hottest gay bar, Tribe is a hip spot with a cute and diverse crowd and day. a full restaurant, an open-air deck, a decent-size dance floor, and a lounge area with It's a short drive from downtown to reach the hub of the city's recording industry, plenty of comfy chairs. If you're seeking a more high-energy experience, venture Music Row. You can tour Studio B, where everyone from Elvis to Dolly Parton has next door to Play, a sprawling dance club that packs in huge crowds on weekends. recorded, as well as a few other music-related museums. Follow Broadway beyond Although it's a GLBT establishment, plenty of straights party here, too. Other gay Music Row to reach Midtown and its main drag, West End Avenue - you'll pass hangouts in the same area include Blue Gene's, a relaxed neighborhood joint, and Blu several of the city's schools and medical facilities, including Vanderbilt University, as Bar and Nightclub, which is especially popular with Nashville's African-American well as an art-filled, full-scale replica of the Parthenon. gay community. Nearby you can shop for books and Pride items at OutLoud, which West End Avenue eventually leads into ritzy Belle Meade, where many music also has a pleasant little cafe open for breakfast and lunch. celebrities and politicians reside. There are a couple of notable museums in this area, Over in East Nashville you'll find one of the liveliest lesbian bars in the South, including the Greek Revival Belle Meade Plantation, once the site of a 5,300-acre Lipstick Lounge, set inside a brightly colored and attractively furnished old house. Thoroughbred breeding farm, and Cheekwood, a 1925 Georgian-style house on On the main level there's a small dance bar, and live music is often featured. Upstairs whose grounds you'll find the Tennessee Botanical Gardens & Museum. there's a lounge with darts, video games, and the like. One neighborhood hangout Dining in Nashville has become increasingly sophisticated of late. In a railway and worth going out of your way for - if you're up for a quirky scene and hanging out warehouse neighborhood on the edge of downtown, you can dine at one of the city's with a completely unpretentious crowd - is Trax, a hard-to-find little dive bar in a current stars, Radius10, a snazzy, white-on-white restaurant with exposed air vents somewhat industrial neighborhood south of downtown. Amid the linoleum floors and an unfinished cement floor. Top dishes here include Kobe beef short ribs with and a fun juke box playing everything from country tunes to The Cure, you'll find black-truffle grits, and halibut with andouille sausage, dirty rice, and crawfish. A a pool table, darts, and an all-ages, mostly male (but all-welcome) crowd sucking more traditional option is long-running Merchants, which is set inside a masterfully down cheap drinks. restored 1892 brick building downtown and serves tasty American fare. Although not a gay establishment, the famed Bluebird Cafe does have something Two neighborhoods that have developed increasingly gay followings in Nashville of a community following. This intimate spot serves passable comfort food, but you in recent years are East Nashville and 12th Avenue South, and both have a slew really come here to listen to outstanding live music in an intimate setting. There are of great restaurants, too. Along 12th Avenue South, sexy and sophisticated Mirror two shows each night, the first more amateurish, the second generally featuring quite restaurant serves Mediterranean-inspired tapas, such as smoked-lamb gyros with seasoned professionals. cumin sauce, and saffron ravioli stuffed with shrimp, mushrooms, and brie. Nearby Nashville's once staid hotel selection got a nice boost with the fall 2007 opening Rumours Wine and Art Bar is fun for dinner or just to snack and sip wine - there's of the Hotel Indigo, a gay-friendly, moderately priced, and sleekly designed mid-rise a popular branch of Rumours in East Nashville, too. For an unusual and refreshing in the city's West End - it's a short walk from gay nightlife. Also near West End gay dessert, pick up one of the oddly flavored popsicles (chai tea, cucumber-pepper, bars, the posh and refined Loews Vanderbilt Plaza Hotel has dark cherry furniture, a chocolate-wasabi) sold at Las Paletas. slick white lobby, and first-rate service. This is the top business hotel in the city, and East Nashville eateries with superb food include lesbian-owned Margot, which also a favorite of music celebs. turns out delicious French bistro fare. This is the place in town for Sunday brunch Occupying a turn-of-the-century railroad terminal on the edge of downtown, (reservations are a good idea). The same owners run the nearby coffeehouse and the Union Station Hotel has a gorgeous lobby and warmly furnished rooms. Light bakery, Marche, which serves up all sorts of tasty snacks. For sweets, check out Pied sleepers should keep in mind that freight trains rumble softly by some rooms, so Piper Creamery, whose playfully named and concocted ice cream flavors are a big hit request a unit away from the tracks if this concerns you. Run by the same team - order a scoop of "Trailer Trash" (packed with assorted candy parts), or tuck into a behind Portland, Oregon's swanky Lucia and deLuxe hotels, the Hotel Preston offers dish of "The Professor" (toasted coconut, almonds, pecans, and cashews). the hippest accommodations in Nashville. Alas, the location leaves a bit to be desired Additional worthwhile dining and shopping opportunities await in funky - it's 10 miles southeast of downtown, by the airport. Hillsboro Village, near Vanderbilt University, which offers an intriguing selection About a 20-minute drive east of downtown, the giant Opryland Resort comprises of stylish boutiques and distinctive restaurants. Here you'll find Cabana, which a huge hotel, spa, golf course, and the Grand Ole Opry performance center. If you're serves crispy and delectable fried chicken, along with several inventive takes on hungry, keep in mind that the open-air buffet at the Water's Edge Marketplace offers down-home Southern food. Caffeine addicts get their fix at Bongo Java, in a terrific food, at least as buffets go, and at fair prices. Although it's largely the domain turn-of-the-century house filled with local art. Bongo Java earned international of conventioneers and tourists, Opryland is at least worth a quick visit to admire the infamy as the home of the "nun bun," a cinnamon roll that bears an amazing acres of indoor gardens and courtyards, and partake of some of the most colorful likeness to Mother Teresa. The same owners also operate a cool coffeehouse and people-watching in Nashville.

RADICALLY SERENE - Continued from page 25 the region we serve? If so, please allow THE LETTER to share this information It sure is easy to write about these issues (probably as easy as it is to write a decent with our readers. soap opera script). But the reality is that, as I see it, more of us need to be more • Every town, regardless of the size, needs mental health therapists who involved in groups and organizations that can make the world better for our GLBT are visibly gay-affirming. Sometimes support groups aren’t enough and sisters and brothers. Will Louisville ever again have a GLBT community center, let professional assistance is called for. alone Coming Out Support Group? What resources are missing in your corner of the • Every town, regardless of the size, needs welcoming and inclusive faith world? What are you doing to meet these unmet needs? communities that can facilitate healing of religious-based internalized homophobia, for those struggling with this type of pain. Dave VanderPol invites y’all to attend our Luke & Noah/As The World Turns Fan Party on Thursday, July 24. For more information see the ad on page two of this issue.

JULY 2008 www.theletteronline.com The Letter 27 SINCE 2000 THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN JEFFERSON COUNTY LIVING WITH AIDS HAS INCREASED 64% IT'S NOT OVER!

THIS YEAR WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2008 • THE BELVEDEERE

28 The Letter www.theletteronline.com JULY 2008