New Year, New

Know It All 2 6 Ways to Get Anyone to Like You—Instantly! 2 5 Ways to Think Outside the Box 3 Healthy Dose 5 How to Sleep Soundly 5 Get-Fit Tricks 7 Sexy and Strong in 6 Weeks! 7 Set Your Intention 10 Scale Down 11 5 Sneaky Saboteurs 11 4 Great Breakfast Solutions 13 Love Coach 15 10 Awkward Talks You’ve Gotta Have 15 How to really listen to him 17 Eat Smart 18 Eat This, Cure That! 18

Raise your glass and say goodbye to 2014. Then, look forward to starting 2015 off with a bang. We’ve New Year, given you a slew of quick tips to make this your best year ever, whether your goal is to eat smarter, get fit- ter, drop a few pounds, go further at work, or make it New You work better with your guy. Consider this go-to advice to help you grow into the person you want to be. So pour yourself another glass, and read on.

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eyes and theirs can drift away Know It All from each other for a moment,” 6 Ways to Get Anyone she says. “They’ll relax.” to Like You—Instantly! Simple, science-based ways to score a promotion, extra attention from your trainer, or a date with that crazy-cute guy Copy Speech 2Patterns You know how all of your friends refer to a certain thing the same way (e.g., jewelry is bling)? There’s a reason: When you click with someone, you naturally adopt words and phrases from each other. But you can fake this rapport. Listen to, say, a boss or hiring manager’s choice of nouns, verbs, adverbs, and adjectives, then echo them back. For example, if she says copy machine instead of copier, you should do the same. “Hearing their own words come out of your mouth makes them feel as if you share their values, attitudes, and interests,” says Lowndes. But stick to key words only— otherwise it just gets weird.

Sometimes you click with romantic relationships; they’ll Create Chemistry with Any- people, sometimes you don’t. help you gain a competitive one. Catching a guy’s eye from The chemicals in your brain, edge in a range of situations. across a room can get him to not your actions, often decide approach you, but prolonged this. But you can actually over- eye contact can also help in Mimic Body rule biology by creating chem- nonromantic situations, like 3Language istry with just about anybody. negotiations. Therapists often mirror their “There are small things you can Research shows that making clients’ ways of sitting, crossing do to stimulate the release of eye contact is an important their legs, or gesturing when the feel-good brain chemicals part of establishing a meaning- they want them to feel more dopamine and oxytocin, which ful rapport with others. But be comfortable. This body-lan- are associated with building Make Eye Contact careful that you don’t stare like guage mimicry can also work bonds and trust,” says Larry 1Looking people in the eye has a stalker. Avoid holding some- for you, says Kelly Campbell, Young, PhD, an expert in social benefits beyond just being one’s gaze for longer than PhD, an assistant professor of behavioral neuroscience and polite. “Holding someone’s 30 seconds, says Lowndes. And psychology at California State coauthor of The Chemistry gaze creates a spark in their if they seem uncomfortable, University at San Bernardino. Between Us: Love, Sex, and the brain that makes them think “try alluding to something in If you’re trying to crack your Science of Attraction. These you have chemistry,” says Leil the room, like a painting or a coworker’s all-business facade smart strategies aren’t just for Lowndes, author of How to piece of furniture, so that your or befriend a bartender, it’s

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not complicated: When the yourself into Jennifer bartender leans in, you lean Lawrence, you can up your in, or when your coworker attractiveness by dressing crosses her legs, you cross spot-on for any situation. yours, says Campbell. It’s This doesn’t mean always important to add a little lag being the fanciest-looking time and not repeat every chick around. move they make. For every If a networking event five times they shift posi- calls for business casual, tions, you should mimic don’t wear your sleekest them only two or three skirt suit. The same goes times, says Campbell. for dates. If you show up overdressed, you’ll be less likely to establish that crucial sense of comfort, says Young. Prepare in advance. “Find out what the event will involve and wear what’s right for the occasion,” says Get Just Campbell. “If you’re un- 4Personal Enough sure, or if there are several If you reveal everything parts, bring a change of about yourself right off the shoes or clothes.” bat, it can come off as desper- ate or as inappropriately friendly. But divulging some personal details helps send a message of connection via a shot of oxytocin from the brain. “There should be a one-to-one ratio of personal info being exchanged,” says Reach Out Campbell. 6and Touch If they seem guarded, you Yeah, you touch a guy to can take the lead. Just don’t flirt—you’re no fool—but start with something hugely you probably don’t know private or hugely embarrass- exactly why it works. ing. Stick with something you “Touch is a simple way to might have on your Facebook potentially amp up the re- page, like your hometown or lease of both dopamine and pet’s name. For example, if oxytocin and build instant 5 Ways to Think you’re trying to woo a client trust,” says Young. In a over drinks, make a comment study in the journal PLOS about the background music ONE, people who were Outside the Box and tell her your fave band given oxytocin were more or about the first concert willing to share money you went to. That’s probably with a stranger than were No matter what the dilemma, mess, or plenty embarrassing anyway. those who weren’t given the obstacle, there’s a creative way to solve it hormone. It’s helpful in non- “Think outside the box” may be a cliché, but too often we turn our flirting scenarios, too, like problems over and over in our minds without finding an innovative getting special attention solution for them. That’s because we tend to address all issues the in yoga class (giving your same way, whether that means making a pros-and-cons list or calling teacher a friendly pat on Mom for advice. the back post-namaste can To get out of that rut, you have to be more creative. “That allows be more powerful than you to see problems from different angles,” says Sian Beilock, PhD, a Dress for the bowing in prayer). Avoid psychology professor at the University of Chicago. These tricks will 5Occasion touching anywhere other help you come up with unexpected answers for just about any quan- People like attractive people. than the shoulder or back, dary in your life—whether it’s smoothing things over with your guy or Duh. While you can’t turn and keep it light and brief. conceiving a kick-butt marketing plan that wows the entire office.

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The Trick The Trick The Trick > Pretend the Why it works: > Work when > Move from problem is not We often make assumptions you’d prefer your normal that important without realizing it (that the to have your desk or space. to you. scenic route takes longer brain turned off. Try it: Try it: than the interstate route, for Try it: Be anywhere that’s Mentally distance yourself from instance). Drawing a picture or No matter what the problem is not your usual problem- the issue by imagining you’re diagram helps you address those that you’re trying to solve, tackle solving station. Go sit solving it for someone else (lit- hidden assumptions, says Mark- it at the time of day when you in the coffee shop down erally, it’s not your problem) or man. When you’re only thinking think you’re not at your best. the street for an hour that the deadline is further away through a problem, it’s easier to For example, if you always feel or just find an empty than it actually is. gloss over the details that jump foggy first thing in the morning, conference room and Why it works: out at you when you actually get started on the issue right set up shop for a bit. This helps you take in the bigger illustrate them. when you get up (without coffee, Why it works: picture and opens your mind if you dare). Or if your favorite Think about it like the field to approaches you might have The Trick thing to do at night is veg out trips you took in school— missed if you were thinking too > Take a break from and watch Friends reruns, take the idea was to give you narrowly, says Art Markman, brainstorming. some time then to think about new stimuli and expand PhD, a psychology professor Try it: potential solutions. your horizons while work- at the University of Texas and Stop sitting at your desk, staring Why it works: ing toward the same goal author of Smart Thinking. at that monitor. It’s not doing “Having less-than-laser-sharp you set in the classroom Instead of getting caught up any good. Instead, get up and focus can actually help you (e.g., you visited the natu- in, say, possibly blowing the try going for a run or, if you’re come up with a new solution ral history museum if you deadline, you can see the issue at home, even taking a bath to a problem,” says Beilock. were studying dinosaurs). as a whole and think about it (legend has it that Archimedes When taking a test that has a A change in environment reasonably and calmly. For coined the term eureka after set answer for each question can be just what you need example, compare how open- he discovered the principle of (like the SATs), you do best to open up your mind. to-anything you feel dreaming buoyancy while in the tub). when you feel freshest, but when We subconsciously as- about a vacation that’s months Why it works: it comes to thinking creatively, sociate places with what away with how panicked you are Insights often come when too much brainpower can actu- we’ve experienced in them, when packing the night before people are taking a break ally hamper your ability, per a which can be good in some you leave. Experts refer to this from actively thinking about a study published in the journal situations (taking a test in approach as creating “psycho- problem, creativity researchers Thinking & Reasoning. the same place you studied logical distance”; a study in the believe. “It allows your mind So when working on a for it can enhance your Journal of Experimental Social to work in the background, problem that has endless performance) but nega- Psychology found it helped piecing together fragments solutions and no single “right” tively affect your ability people devise more creative of information about the answer—say, if you were trying to think in an innova- solutions. problem that were already to get more people to buy a tive way, says Hurson. floating around, while it product—you’re better off being Plus, a new environment The Trick effectively ‘resets,’” says Tim less focused. Being too dialed in means different stimuli > Draw a picture Hurson, author of Think Better: might make you devise an over- (people, decor, etc.), which of the dilemma. An Innovator’s Guide to Produc- wrought solution when a simple may trigger novel ideas, Try it: tive Thinking and Sell Better. one would do. thoughts, and connections. Sketch out timelines, charts, or pictures to help yourself see solutions (and we mean really see, on paper, in front of you). If you want to improve your com- Don’t Delay mute, you could draw out the You can’t solve a problem if you don’t start thinking about it. Follow this plan from different routes to find which procrastination expert Timothy A. Pychyl, PhD, a psychology professor at Carlton is the most scenic, the shortest, University in Ottawa. or includes your favorite coffee Tell the truth. Admit Realize you’re not Begin with shop. Or if you need to cut your that the reason you going to feel any something. Even a department’s budget, sketching 1 haven’t started yet 2 more like tackling 3 little bit of progress an organizational chart showing isn’t because you can’t find the task tomorrow. And helps motivate you to each job and its function can your pen; it’s that you don’t by then, you’ll have less continue and will move help you see redundancies or want to face the work. time to do it. you toward a solution. positions that could be eliminat- ed or merged to save money.

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Healthy Dose How to Sleep Soundly A good night of shut-eye is imperative for your health—and the trick is getting into the ideal position

Most women have trou- a few pillows to prop up your position. Yep, sleeping on your ble scoring between the chest and head. Or raise the head side can both cause and alleviate sheets—scoring ample of your bed by up to 6 inches by shoulder pain. It’s all in the par- shut-eye, that is. Nearly slipping bricks under ticulars, says Rosenberg. 80% have problems your bed frame. Many women make sleeping at least a few the mistake of tucking times a month, and 23% If You Have… their bottom arm under have issues almost every Back Pain their head, which strains night, according to an ex- Lie on your the brachial plexus, a clusive Women’s Health side, with your network of nerves that semi-fetal legs supported survey. What’s worse, per position controls the shoulder, arm, and the National Sleep Foun- * Some 40% of women hand. “It’s like sleeping with a dation, half of all women suffer spinal issues, 10-pound weight on your arm, regularly wake up feeling according to The Clinical and it pinches the nerves,” he says. unrefreshed, which can Journal of Pain, and many of First, keep off your sore side. strain the body, muddle those originate—or get worse—in Lie on your pain-free side with the mind, and increase bed, because a wonky sleep pose your legs slightly bent. Extend risk for ailments such as can throw off spinal alignment your bottom arm straight out diabetes and depression. for hours, says Robert S. Rosen- in front of you, then bring it in, What’s to blame? Not berg, DO, medical director of using both arms to hug a pil- just too few hours in the the Sleep Disorders Centers of low to your chest. As with back sack. The way you lie Prescott Valley and Flagstaff, AZ. pain, avoid flopping your top leg down is a major factor The key is to keep your spine forward (to help alignment, place in the quality of your in a neutral, naturally curved a pillow between your thighs). If slumber. Snoozing in the If You Have… position. Lie on your side and both shoulders are aching, switch wrong position can cause Heartburn put a slight bend in your knees, to a back pose and keep muscle cramping, impair Lie on your left side stacking your hips in a straight your arms relaxed circulation, and leave “Because of where our organs are line (letting your top hip flop at your sides. you hurting come morn- situated, sleeping on the left puts forward will rotate your lumbar ing. And for the millions less pressure on the lower esopha- spine, fueling more pain). Place If You Have… of women with preexist- geal sphincter,” says sleep special- a firm pillow or two in between Sinus Pain ing aches (such as a sore ist Priyanka Yadav, DO, of the your knees so that your legs are Lie on your side, back), a bad sleep pose Sleep for Life Center in Hillsbor- propped about hip-width apart. propped up can spark a vicious cycle: ough, NJ. (That sphincter is the Your arms can relax out in front Anytime you’re It can exacerbate pain, hatch that food passes through of you. If this feels funny at first, congested—be it from allergies, which can lead to insom- on its way to the gut. When it’s don’t give up. Sleeping with extra a sinus infection, or a plain old nia, which can lead to stressed, burning stomach acid padding takes practice. cold—avoid snoozing on your more health woes, which can creep back up, irritating your back. Doing so means your can lead to even more throat.) If You Have… mouth can fall open during the sleepless nights. Lie on your left side with your Shoulder Pain night, drying out what’s stuffed Now for the help: It’s arms resting comfortably in front Lie on your side, you up (hardened mucus can relatively easy to switch of you. Bend your knees and curl in a “hug” pose keep you congested, says Rosen- up your mattress stance. your legs slightly toward your Shoulder pain has many berg). Instead, lie on your side Read on to score better upper body into a semi-fetal posi- culprits (a heavy handbag, with an extra pillow under your sleep, starting tonight. tion. If you have really bad heart- slouching), but chief among head and let gravity help with burn, roll onto your back and use them is a thorny side-sleeping drainage. Don’t forget that when

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your head is up high, your arms will need If You Have… extra support, so hug a pillow. Arrange An Achy Jaw your legs in a comfy, slightly bent pose. Lie on your back Nighttime teeth- If You Have… grinding, or bruxism, is PMS a genetic condition that Lie on your back affects about 8% of adults. Weird but true: When you’re moody, It has been linked to stress, anxiety, and bloated, and crampy, avoid curling up sleep disorders; it also does a painful in a ball in bed or passing out on your number on your teeth and jaw—and can stomach. Lying on your side lets gravity even change the shape of your face! If you tug on already-tender breast ligaments suspect you grind at night, lie on your back (ouch!); lying facedown puts excess and face the ceiling. This allows the lower weight and pressure on your uterus, jaw to fall into a natural position and the fa- causing irritation and more cramping, cial muscles to relax, says Carolyn Taggart- says Rosenberg. Burns, DDS, of the Academy of General Get your best PMS shut-eye on your Dentistry. “I tell my patients to sleep on back. Place a pillow under your knees to their back with their lips closed but teeth keep your lower spine from arching too open,” she says. To lower your chances of much, which could amp up soreness in turning your head, try to keep your arms the lower back. Keep your arms neutral at straight at your sides (people often subcon- your sides. (If you’re still sore, try putting sciously turn toward a bent arm). another pillow under your knees for even more lower body support.) If You Have… A Stiff Neck If You Have… Lie on your back Sore Hips Those pancake-flat pillows you’ve had since Lie on your back college aren’t doing your neck any favors. Around 15% of (Ditto for those extra-puffy numbers you women have found on sale.) A pillow that puts your noggin bursitis, also on an upward or downward slope can com- known as “run- press the cervical spine, strain neck muscles, ner’s hip,” a and cause soreness—especially if you’re lying painful condition on your stomach or side, says Laelle Martin, that stems from DC, a chiropractor in Tacoma, WA. inflammation Most people with neck pain benefit from of the hip joint. This can make getting sleeping on their back with their neck in z’s seem impossible, but there is a a neutral (read: straight) position, which solution: Get off your side. “Sleeping involves finding a pillow that supports that on your injured side is the last thing alignment. Keep your arms relaxed and by you want to do,” says Yadav. Side-lying your sides; don’t let them sneak up behind poses put undue pressure on your hips, your head. If you know your neck pain pushing them into the mattress. Dozing stems from something like a herniated disk, on your back gives your hips a break from ask your doctor about skipping a pillow the near-constant stress of walking and altogether and sleeping with your head flat sitting all day. If it feels good, prop a pil- on the mattress, which can help straighten low under your knees for added support. the neck.

No Pain? Lie on Your Side. Lucky you! Keep your ache-free streak going by adopting a semi-fetal position: Sleep on one side with your legs bent and raised about halfway to your chest. Place a pillow between your knees to relieve any pressure on your back. Keep your arms in front of you, slightly bent at the elbows. If this feels uncomfortable, it’s OK to keep going with what works for you, but try to avoid the most problematic pose: Though 22% of women favor stomach sleeping, it can twist the shoulders and wrench the cervical spine. Smooshing your face into a pillow all night can also crease the skin, accelerating wrinkles and aggravating acne.

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Get-Fit Tricks Sexy and Strong in 6 Weeks! Lifting heavier weights is the secret to scoring a leaner, fitter, hotter body

The fear of bulking up has How to Do It If You’re Lifting If You’re Lifting long kept many women For each workout, do three sets of each 2X a Week 4X a Week out of the weight room. move in order, performing all reps and sets Day 1 Workout A Day 1 Workout A But steering clear of lifting before going to the next exercise. When anything heavier than your you see two exercises next to the number, Day 2 Rest Day 2 Workout B hair dryer is a big mistake: do them as a superset: Alternate each set Lifting weights could be the between them (no rest!). Lifting twice a Day 3 Rest Day 3 Rest ticket to achieving the slim, week is sufficient, but you’ll see better re- tight body you desire, since sults doing four total workouts each week. Day 4 Workout B Day 4 Workout A strength training boosts On rest days, you can stay active with other lean muscle mass and fires physical activities like yoga, hiking, biking, Day 5 Rest Day 5 Workout B up your metabolism. conditioning circuits, dance classes—just Day 6 Rest Day 6 Rest The following program don’t push yourself to the point of exhaus- was created by Kellie Davis, tion or pain. Here’s how to space your Day 7 Rest Day 7 Rest a strength coach and co- workouts throughout the week: author of Strong Curves: A Woman’s Guide to Building a Better Butt and Body. Rather Workout A than working single muscle groups the way many body- building programs do, this approach focuses on com- 1i/Barbell Hip Thrust pound exercises (like squats, Sit on the floor, knees bent and deadlifts, and presses). This feet flat on the floor, and lean distributes the work evenly, your upper back against a which allows you to lift bench; place a barbell or heavier loads without injury. body bar across your hips, It’s also more metabolically and hold it with both hands (a). (a) taxing, meaning you torch a Pushing through your heels, greater number of calories raise your hips until your body (b) in a shorter period of time. forms a straight line from shoulders to This plan features two knees (b). Slowly lower your body back routines (Workouts A and to the start. That’s 1 rep. Do 10 to 12. B), which you’ll complete each week. For each move, choose a weight you can lift 1ii/One-Arm Bent-Over Row for the prescribed number Place your left knee on a bench and your of reps, but no more. If right foot on the floor next to it, and lean you’re well under or over forward to place your left hand on the the rep range, increase or bench; reach down with your right hand decrease the weight by 2 to to lift a dumbbell off the floor, palm facing 5 pounds. Just don’t get too in (a). Keeping your back flat, bend your (a) comfortable: You’ll become right elbow and squeeze your shoulder stronger as your body blades together to pull the dumbbell up adapts to the demands you your side until it reaches your rib cage (b). place upon it, so you should Slowly lower back to the start. That’s 1 rep. try to add a little weight Do 8 to 10, then repeat on the other side. (b) each workout or week.

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2/Goblet Low-Box Squat 3i/Incline Bench Press Holding one end of a dumbbell with both Grab a dumbbell in each hand and lie faceup on a bench set at a hands, elbows bent and close to your 45° incline; position the weights at your shoulders, elbows bent (a). body, stand facing away from a bench or Brace your core, then press both weights up until your arms are fully box that’s at or below knee level, your feet extended (b). Lower back down to the start. That’s 1 rep. Do 5 to 8. shoulder-width apart (a). Maintaining a tight core, slowly sit your hips back until you’re seated on the bench, keeping your knees in line with your toes (b). Pause, then press through your heels to return to the start. That’s 1 rep. Do 8 to 10. (a)

(a) (b)

Quick Tip: You can point your 3ii/Plank toes outward up Place your forearms on to 30 degrees if the floor, elbows directly it helps you keep under your shoulders; your heels on the extend your legs to floor throughout (b) create a straight line from head to heels. Contract your the exercise. core, glutes, and quads, and hold for 30 to 90 seconds.

Muscle Myths Lifting makes you bulky. (Read: They die.) That’s not to Lifting will make you gain weight. “The fear that one will say there’s not a relationship: If It’s not so much a myth as a 1 suddenly grow large you lose muscle mass, you’ll burn 4 misunderstood truth. “Leaner” and amounts of muscle from lifting fewer calories per day. If your “lighter” are not interchangeable terms; weights is akin to worrying calorie intake remains the same, that means the scale may not tip you’ll be involuntarily drafted the excess food energy that is much and may even by the WNBA if you shoot a not burned can be stored as fat. go up, says Chad few hoops at the Y,” says Alex- Cardio burns more fat. Landers, owner of ander Koch, PhD, an associate “I still get clients who PUSH Private Fitness professor of exercise science think they need to do extra in Toluca Lake, CA. at Lenoir-Rhyne University. 3 Make no mistake: The cardio to drop the weight first, “It just won’t happen.” Women before they start lifting,” says physical results can be have testosterone levels that Valerie Waters, an L.A. celebrity dramatic. “The more muscle are about 15 to 20 times lower trainer. “But if you want to get I’ve gained, the smaller and than those of men—hormonally hot in a hurry, head straight to more compact I’ve gotten,” speaking, we are just not likely the weight room.” says The Young and the to bulk up. Lifting weights increases the Restless actress Camryn Muscle can turn into fat. baseline number of calories you Grimes, who entered her These are two totally burn each day. “Muscle tissue is first power-lifting meet in different types of tissue, the most metabolically active early 2013. “My jeans are 2 looser, and I’ve gone from so even if you slack off, that tissue in our bodies, so the more hard-earned muscle won’t muscle you have, the more a medium top to a small.” turn into fat. “With lack of use, energy you expend just to keep Landers’s top advice to muscle cells atrophy. If they living,” says Koch. It’s a small new clients: Stay off the shrink to a certain size, they boost, but you’re burning more scale and use your jeans undergo apoptosis,” says Koch. calories, even at rest. That’s a win. to measure your progress.

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Workout B

1/Dumbbell 2i/One-Arm Standing Romanian Deadlift Shoulder Press Hold a pair of dumbbells in front of you, Grab a dumbbell with your left hand and palms facing your thighs, feet shoulder- hold it in front of your left shoulder, elbow width apart (a). Keeping your core tight bent, end of dumbbell touching your and back flat, push your butt back and shoulder, and palm facing forward; stand bend over at the hips, bending your with your feet slightly wider than shoul- knees slightly, as you lower the weights der width (a). Keeping your core tight, toward your shins (b). When you feel press the weight overhead until your arm a stretch in your hamstrings, stop and is fully extended (b). Reverse the move- slowly reverse the movement, squeez- ment to return to the start. That’s 1 rep. ing your glutes. That’s 1 rep. Do 8 to 10. Do 6 to 8, then repeat on the other side. (a) (b)

Quick Tip: Keep the 2ii/Side Stepups dumbbells Holding a dumbbell in each hand, arms nearly in at your sides, stand to the left of a contact sturdy bench and place your right foot with the on top of it (a). Drive through your front of right heel and straighten your right your legs leg until you are standing tall on the throughout bench, left leg bent (b). Slowly the move- return to the start, keeping ( ) a ( ) ment. your right foot on the bench. b That’s 1 rep. Do 8 to 12, then (a) (b) repeat on the other side.

3/Chest-Supported Row 4/Side Plank with Clamshell Grab a dumbbell in each hand, palms facing each other, and Lie on your left side and place your left forearm on the floor, your lie facedown on a bench set at a 45° incline (a). Bend your elbow directly under your shoulder; bend your knees and stack your elbows and squeeze your shoulder blades to pull the dumb- right leg on top of your left leg. Brace your core and raise your hips bells to your sides until your hands reach your rib cage (b). to create a straight line from shoulder to knees, right hand on hip (a). Slowly lower the weights back to the start, fully extending From this position, rotate your right knee toward the ceiling, keeping your arms. That’s 1 rep. Do 6 to 8. your feet together (like a clamshell). Lower your leg, keeping your hips raised. That’s 1 rep. Do 8 to 10, then repeat on the other side.

(a) (b) (a) (b)

Start light. Begin with Do it right. Consult a pro early if you have Be aware. Get a weight you know you questions about an exercise. Proper form should: Note what’s Strong, can move well. (Most of • Look effortless, not uncomfortable. People around you at all Fonooni’s clients begin with shouldn’t be wondering if they need to request times. Fonooni Safely 15- to 20-pound dumbbells backup for you. has seen people Use these three tips and a 45-pound barbell.) • Never hurt. Note: Soreness and pain are not the same. run into others, from Neghar Fonooni, You know it’s time to move • Match how our bodies are meant to move. trip on equip- a fitness coach in Santa up when you can easily If you can’t do something, you may have a ment, and hit Monica, to stay injury- perform more reps than mobility or movement issue (tight hip their heads when free in the weight room. recommended in the program. flexors, for example) standing in your way. they lie down.

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many women are stunned flag. If your intention is “go by how often they put them- faster,” add Eminem’s “Till selves down with negative I Collapse,” Kanye West’s Set Your self-talk,” says Carr. Mind “Stronger,” and Florence + gone off the rails? Breathe the Machine’s “Dog Days Are deep and refocus. Over” to your list. Looking to gain more happiness by the Intention Why It Works end of your workout? Crank up “Over time, critical thoughts “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Staying focused during a workout may erode your motivation Eyed Peas, “Beautiful Day” by will improve your performance and from the inside out,” says U2, and “I Love It” by Icona amp up your results. Here, how to Carr. Keeping your head in Pop. “Choose as many songs as use your mind to sculpt a better body. the game helps give you the you need for your playlist to be edge you need to continue effective and feed your inten- working toward your intention tion,” says Hoebel. When boredom or fatigue yourself up—that reflects the —and your long-term goals. strikes during a workout, purpose of your workout. Why It Works you might try to distract Sync Your Workout A study in the journal The Sport yourself by flicking on the Try It Plugging in your iPod during Psychologist found that tennis TV or chatting up your Hoebel says to think of a mantra a workout might seem like players recorded faster reac- treadmill neighbor. But tun- like a hashtag: #strongbody- an odd way to increase your tion times on the court when ing in—instead of checking strongmind, #bestshapeofmylife, focus—after all, plenty of us they listened to songs with an out—may be the smarter #fitfromwithin. If you’re aiming use music to mentally check emotionally charged message tactic. to reduce stress and anxiety, try out—but research shows that (e.g., “Eye of the Tiger” from Just ask yoga teachers. #justbreathe as your mantra. listening to certain types of Rocky III), as compared to At the beginning of class, Want to feel strong? Go with tunes can actually help you music with a booty-shaking they often urge students to #mindovermuscle. Mentally keep your mind squarely on rhythm but not much in the set an intention, like “feel repeat your mantra throughout what you’re doing. way of motivation (say, Be- more gratitude” or “let go your workout—especially during yonce’s “Single Ladies”). “Songs of stress,” to help them stay the really tough parts or when Try It with strong lyrical affirmations focused and tap into the you catch your mind wandering. Create a playlist that uses can give you a significant physi- purpose of their practice. words or themes that speak cal and mental boost when the Experts say intention Why It Works to the intention that you’ve going gets tough,” says study setting can be a powerful Besides being inspiring, a mantra picked for that day’s workout— author Costas Karageorghis, tool in any fitness discipline, mentally hardwires your brain to and crank up the volume when PhD, author of Inside Sport not just yoga. “It zeros in on enjoy exercise by acting as a cue you feel like you’re starting to Psychology. something you can connect to connect a behavior (exercise) to emotionally, and unlike with a reward (the positive expe- a long-term goal, you can rience of achieving your inten- make good on an intention tion), says Charles Duhigg, author in a single session, which is of The Power of Habit. very satisfying,” says celeb trainer Brett Hoebel. In Silence Your other words, you can’t, for Inner Critic example, lose 10 pounds Negative mental chatter can during a 45-minute run, distract you from your workout’s but you can feel happier or purpose: It’s tough to reduce calmer by the end. So set an stress while thinking that you intention (think “be strong” have the biggest thighs of every- or “boost energy”—it can one in your cycling class. You be different every time you may not even be aware of it, but exercise), then follow these defeatist or negative self-talk tips to stay centered on it. can damage your workout and prevent you from achieving your Give Yourself intention, according to Chris a Pep Talk Carr, PhD, a sports psychologist. Turbocharge your motiva- tion and trigger your Try It intention with the help Don’t try to clear your head or of a mantra—a word or avoid thinking; just watch your phrase you repeat to psych thoughts. “Once they tune in to it,

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Scale Down 5 Sneaky Saboteurs You may be eating way more than you think you are. Here, we uncover five things that could be distracting you from true hunger cues—and teach you how to be more mindful about what you put in your mouth.

Your Thermostat 1If you’re not careful, the layers Another good idea: Before you put on this winter could taking a bite, ask yourself if be permanent. Research has you’d still be eating right now if found that people tend to eat you were eating food that was more during prolonged cold the opposite temperature (say, temperatures than during hot a bowl of sorbet instead of chili periods because it takes more nachos). Lots of people think energy (i.e., calories) to main- they’re hungry when all they tain our standard 98.6°F. (That really need is a sweater. (So may be why some sly restau- bring one when you eat out!) rants dial down the heat.) Plus, says Nanette Stroebele, PhD, of the University of Colorado at Denver’s Center for Human Nutrition, people make differ- ent menu selections depending on the state of the mercury: The Fix gooey, high-fat, high-carb com- If you can’t take your lunch fort foods when it’s cold versus Your Job to the cafeteria or a nearby cool foods like salads when it’s 2Too bad weight gain doesn’t park, at least eat it away sweltering. qualify you for workers’ comp: from your screen, says A national CareerBuilder Durvasula. When you focus Your Shut-Eye The Fix survey recently found that 41% on enjoying your food, you’re 3Researchers know the link Feeling chilly? Start with a of people have put on pounds at more likely to notice when between skimping on z’s and bowl of broth-based soup, their current jobs. “One study you start feeling full and stop wearing a size XXL is nothing which will warm you up (and suggests that people who eat at eating, she says. And stash new: Lack of sleep wreaks havoc help cut overall calorie con- their desks and mindlessly play the candy jar: Researchers at on the hormones that regulate sumption at that meal, accord- at their computers eat more the Cornell Food and Brand your appetite and leaves you ing to studies). Also consider and are more likely to under- Lab found that people ate reaching for sugary foods as a bumping up the heat before estimate how much they actu- twice as much chocolate quick pick-me-up. But nearly you dive into a plate of mac ’n’ ally consumed,” says Ramani from a clear dish as from an 30% of adults reported an cheese. If you just increase the Durvasula, PhD, a professor of opaque one and ate the least average of less than 6 hours of temperature a bit, it can help psychology at California State when the dish was at least slumber a night in a National you make better choices. University at Los Angeles. 6 feet away from their desks. Health Interview Survey.

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The Fix If getting more mattress time is out of the question, even out how you eat. “The research on willpower shows that when our energy is depleted, we make bad choices and tend to eat more bad foods,” Durvasula Your Favorite says. Since you’re already run- 5TV Show ning on an energy deficit, space Television time is already out your meals so that your prime snacking hour, but if you blood glucose levels remain as really get sucked in, be careful steady as possible. Get a mix of what you suck down. Research- protein and fiber each time you ers at the University of Texas eat—both take longer to digest Medical Branch found that the and slow the sudden dump of more engrossed you are in a TV sugar into your bloodstream program or movie, the more that happens with simple carbs. you snack. “Humans have only so much head space at a given time,” says study author Eliza- beth Lyons, PhD, MPH. “So when you’re paying attention to what is happening to Don Draper, that pushes out the space you might otherwise use to determine how much you’re Your Period eating or drinking.” 4Estrogen may play a role in regulating what and how much The Fix we eat, so yeah, cravings can be If you can’t commit to not nib- real. But biology isn’t always bling while in front of the tube, to blame. “Our menstrual your best bet is to portion out cycles can feel like the ulti- what you want to eat before mate excuse to munch,” says getting deep into an episode. Durvasula. “We may think, OK, “If we’ve learned anything I’m having my period; let me from this study, it is that people find something that makes me will find a way to eat,” Lyons feel good.” says. Even tasks that kept their hands busy didn’t The Fix stop them from pausing A week before your cycle, add to grab food—hence, extra dairy to your diet. In a advance prep is key. study, women who had four servings a day of low-fat dairy or fortified OJ were 40% less likely to be diagnosed with PMS (and its glorious cravings) than those who ate only one serving a day of those foods. The 3 Phases of Mindful Eating And while you shouldn’t Thoughtfulness isn’t just a good personality trait: It can also keep you from stuffing your treat your period like a get-out- face. Here’s how to go about it. of-jail-free card for calories, Before: Think through your During: Focus solely After: After every don’t completely ban goodies. choices. Which restaurant is best? on eating. Taste the bite, ask yourself, “Deprivation usually results in As good as the fried chicken looks, food and take your “Am I full?” If failure,” says Durvasula. Allow can you go with grilled instead? time. Feel the texture; the answer is yourself a small treat, like a Would dinner in be OK? enjoy the flavors. yes, stop eating. one-ounce square of chocolate.

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4 Great The Breakfast Banana-Nut Waffle Sundae Breakfast Slice half a banana. Toast 2 whole-grain frozen waffles. Top with ¼ cup nonfat Greek Solutions yogurt, banana slices, and 2 tablespoons toasted walnuts. Putting some food Makes 1 serving Per serving: 390 cal, 17 g fat in your belly first (1.5 g sat), 49 g carbs, 480 mg thing can be a key sodium, 7 g fiber, 17 g protein to flattening it

One reason eating breakfast is key to weight control is that stoking your metabolism early will burn more calories. But there’s another reason to eat first thing in the a.m.—in a 2012 study, subjects who skipped breakfast were more attracted to images of high-calorie grub and consumed 20% more calories, on average, at lunch than those who ate in the morning. But too many women opt out of the morning meal. Here are four of the top excuses, plus yummy, under-500- calorie solutions.

The Excuse

I don’t have time The Solution to cook. And, OK, I’d Make packaged food more enticing with a few on-hand rather sleep in!” ingredients to craft a new, delicious dish in minutes.

Back to Contents womenshealthmag.com 13 Scale Down The Breakfast Egg in a Nest In a pan over medium-low heat, warm The Excuse 1 tablespoon oil. Place a slice of bread When I eat so with a circle cut from the center in the pan. Crack 1 egg into the hole and cook early, I seem to be for 3 to 4 minutes, until the egg is firm; add the cutout bread circle to toast hungry all morning.” for the last 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer to a plate; serve with avocado and tomato The Solution slices. Have eggs. They boost satiety while Makes 1 serving cutting back on hunger—meaning Per serving: 320 cal, 23 g fat (3 g sat), you’ll feel fuller longer, according to 26 g carbs, 220 mg sodium, 8 g fiber, 11 g protein research from Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana.

The Breakfast The Excuse Sweet & Spicy Eating first Quinoa Hash thing makes In a skillet over medium heat, warm 1 teaspoon coconut oil. Add a pinch me feel sick.” of red pepper flakes and ½ cup cubed sweet potato, then sauté for about The Solution 1 5 minutes. Stir in /3 cup chopped kale, Perhaps you’re choosing the 1 clove minced garlic, and a pinch of wrong foods. If typical breakfast salt. Sauté until kale has wilted, about 3 minutes. Add ½ cup cooked quinoa options don’t do it for you, try a and heat through. less traditional morning meal. Makes 1 serving Bonus: It’s a great way to use up Per serving: 440 cal, 10 g fat some of your dinner leftovers. (4.5 g sat), 71 g carbs, 210 mg sodium, 8 g fiber, 14 g protein

The Breakfast

The Excuse Raspberry Java Smoothie Coffee is Soak 2 pitted dates in water for up breakfast.” to 1 hour. In a blender, combine dates, ¾ cup low-fat milk, and ½ cup frozen The Solution raspberries; blend on high speed for 1 minute. Add 1 cup coffee ice cubes Go for a drinkable meal that lets (about ¾ cup brewed and frozen) you have your caffeine and eat it and blend until smooth. too. Freeze coffee in an ice-cube Makes 1 serving tray for an ingredient that will Per serving: 340 cal, 2 g fat wake up any blender beverage. (1 g sat), 81 g carbs, 90 mg sodium, 8 g fiber, 9 g protein

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If You’re Dating…

for a few hundred dollars? Go with your gut. If you do part with the greenbacks, hammer out the details about how and when he’s going to repay you, says Bethany Palmer, who cowrote The 5 Money Person- Check Him Out alities with her husband, 1at Check Time Scott. (And if your beau of Observe what he does with a couple of weeks Red Flag the bill on dates, says Manisha wants to borrow Thakor, coauthor of Get Finan- money? It’s cially Naked. “Financially solid “Run your third people look at the receipt, but as fast as time out and those embarrassed about their you can,” he’s forgotten his wallet…again. money situation often just advises Clearly, he’s not that throw down a credit card.” Palmer.) responsible when it comes to money.

Talk Stash (or Give Good Love Coach 2Lack Thereof) 4Gift Limits When you and your guy decide It’s the holiday season and the relationship is getting while you don’t want to come 10 Awkward serious, you should start across as Scrooge, if you sim- sharing specifics about your ply can’t afford to slip a $300 salary and any debt you may gift under the Christmas tree, Talks You’ve have amassed, experts say. (A speak up about your tight bud- survey found 44% of dating get and set a spending cap with couples start talking about your boyfriend. “Find a way for money within 6 months both of you to get your giving Gotta Have Red Flag of meeting.) “Dating is needs met,” says Thakor. If he becomes about figuring out if Why is it so damn hard to bring up defensive when asked about cash you’re like-minded, money with your honey? Our you loaned him, you’re and that includes likely not going to be guide for when to discuss what— repaid—and should your financial com- and financial red flags to watch for question the rela- patibility and spend- tionship. ing tolerance,” says —will help keep your relationship Christina Steinorth, (and your bank account) healthy. a psychotherapist and author of Cue Cards for Life. Set Up a On a first date, there’s no need to tell a guy that you’ve failed to 5Splurge Policy sign up for your 401(k) or that you likely make double his salary. You’re sharing space, but But when you and he become “we,” not discussing—and does that mean you should agreeing upon—money issues is a big mistake; it’s one of the have a say in each other’s main reasons couples go kaput. One study from the National large purchases? “Respectful Marriage Project found that twosomes who fought about couples establish a spending finances once a week were over 30% more likely to divorce than benchmark and check in with those who had money disputes just a few times a month. each other before exceeding Still, chatting about income and debt is about as fun as having Lend More it,” says Steinorth. If your boy blood drawn. To make it less painful, follow this guide for what 3Than a Hand? balks at your dropping several to bring up (and how) during each stage of your coupledom. What if, after several months Benjamins, discuss why he of dating, your beau asks you feels uncomfortable.

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If You’re Living Together… If You’re Married…

Share Bills Nicely Name Your Place Be United, Even Have Joint Dreams 6For some, divvying up house- 7“Buying a home with some- 8If Your Checking 9Set your household money hold expenses into yours, mine, one when you’re not married Accounts Aren’t goals. If you want to pay off the and ours works. Other couples is complicated, so you need Two-thirds of married credit card but your spouse may prefer splitting it all to think about the worst-case couples have joint check- wants to save for a trip, com- 50-50 or proportionally to scenario,” says Thakor. Share ing accounts, but pros say promise. One way is for each their incomes. the responsibility and put the they’re not a financial must of you to write down your top Red Flag The most property in both your names. once hitched. Whether you five objectives and share your important You should also meet with decide to maintain sepa- responses. Then negotiate to Your guy can’t resist thing? a lawyer who can help you rate bank accounts, joint create a harmonious list. using credit for what Agree on get in writing exactly how ones, or some combination he can’t afford. Address a system you’ll handle the expenses if of the two, it’s vital to be this or expect a future of debt and high inter- before you break up, such as who’s 100% transparent with your est rates. you responsible for the mortgage, spouse. Talk money at least move to property taxes, and cost of once a year, as well as when your new selling. No one ever said real you go through a big life love nest. estate was romantic. change. Determine Your 10Level of Support At some point, a relative or friend is going to come asking for a handout. Will you give? The key is to discuss it together. If you’re both open to it, decide on how much you’re comfort- able with, what the payment terms will be, and Red Flag if you’ll make the person sign a He’s always repayment reminding you of contract. his larger paycheck. Such a power play can build resentment over time and give him the false sense that he runs the marriage.

84%of people run a big purchase by their partner before buying it.

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How to Really Listen to Him We can all use a little refresher on how to pay attention when someone’s talking to us.

The next time your guy starts blabbing—whether it’s about his idiot coworker or a serious problem with a family member—follow these tips from David Posen, MD, to stay tuned in:

Be in the Moment Make Sure It’s Don’t Rush In with Keep Your 1Avoid cracking a joke or chang- 2the Right Time 3Your Opinion 4Eyes on Him ing the subject. If he’s been If you’re making dinner Before you launch into what you Maintaining eye contact talking for a while and you and your guy wants to talk, think, make sure he wants to hear signals that you’re focused want clarity, just say, “What I’m you may miss parts of what it. Ask, “Do you want my feed- on what he’s saying. “Don’t hearing you say is…” This way, he says. “Ask if he can wait back?” If he says yes, offer your ad- look out the window,” says you can add to the convo, and so you can give him your vice. If he says no, just tell him that Posen, “and definitely not he can clear up any gray areas. attention,” says Posen. you’re happy he told you about it. at your electronics.”

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Eat Smart What’s dragging you down: What’s dragging you down: Sore Throat A Muscle-Taxing Eat This, or Cough Workout > Swallow this: Honey > Swallow this: Ginger Here’s more proof that honey Got a date with an overzeal- Cure That! is nature’s sweetest treat. ous trainer and don’t want to Studies have found that it spend the next 2 days moving as can help alleviate a scratchy stiffly as an extra onThe Walking Your pantry is full of powerful throat and hack attacks. “This Dead? Reach for a knob of ginger. healers. Try these all-natural probably has a lot to do with A study published in the Journal remedies before popping a pill. the antibacterial and anti- of Pain found that subjects who oxidant properties of honey,” lifted weights experienced a says Babb. Stir 2 teaspoons 25% greater reduction in their Food is good medicine, and not just in the of honey into warm water or postworkout pain after con- self-medicating-with-chocolate way. “Not only herbal tea, and sip a cup every suming 2 g of raw ginger (about 2 to 3 hours as needed. “Some 2 teaspoons) each day for a week are whole foods rich in vitamins and minerals, studies suggest that manuka and a half, compared with when but they’re also loaded with phytonutrients honey (a variety produced they skipped it. Experts credit that support the immune system, decrease in New Zealand and Austra- antioxidants called gingerols, inflammation in the body, and ward off chronic lia from a tree of the same which can have inflammation- name) and darker varieties reducing properties similar to diseases,” says Michelle Babb, RD, owner of like buckwheat may have drugs like ibuprofen. And this Eat. Play. Be, a nutrition consulting business in the strongest antibacterial wonder root does double duty: Seattle. So next time you’re suffering from jet properties,” says Babb. It has long been used to quell Other ways to dose yourself: nausea and motion sickness too. lag, a sleepless night, or any of these other ills, Mix into yogurt, salad dress- Other ways to dose yourself: just remember: There’s a snack for that. ings, and smoothies; use in Mince and add to stir-fries and baked goods in place of the soups; eat it pickled as a sand- processed white stuff; drizzle wich topper or sushi accompani- over roasted vegetables. ment; snack on or add to baked goods in its crystallized form.

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What’s dragging you down: Insomnia > Swallow this: Kiwi When shut-eye is hard to come by—and women are more likely than men to toss and turn all night—this fuzzy fruit may help you conk out faster. Research- ers at a Taiwanese university found that women who ate two kiwis 1 hour before bedtime for a month fell asleep 14 minutes faster and had better sleep duration and quality than those who didn’t eat the fruit. One possible explanation: Noshing on the sweet green flesh before hitting the sack may boost levels of serotonin, a sleep- inducing neurotransmitter that delivers an express ticket to dreamland. Other ways to dose yourself: Chop and add to fruit salads and salsas; puree and mix into smoothies and fruit drinks; slice for a tart topping.

What’s dragging you down: What’s dragging you down: What’s dragging you down: What’s dragging you down: Migraines PMS Jet Lag Heartburn > Swallow this: > Swallow this: Almonds > Swallow this: > Swallow this: Beans Pumpkin seeds If the monthly run-up to your Tart cherries They really are good for your If your brain often feels like it’s period makes you nuts, the Pucker up! Tart cherries—not to heart—not to mention your di- been in a fender bender, reach solution may be…more nuts. A be confused with sweet variet- gestive system. A study in the for a handful of these seeds, study in the American Journal ies like bing—and their juice journal Gut found that people also known (adorably) as pepi- of Clinical Nutrition discovered can help counteract one of the who ate a high-fiber diet were tas. They’re a leading source that women with the highest pitfalls of air travel (you’re still about 20% less likely to report of magnesium, a mineral intakes of riboflavin from food on your own when it comes to symptoms of gastroesophageal whose deficiency is common sources such as almonds were fighting for the armrest). The reflux disease, including heart- in individuals with increased 35% less likely to develop PMS, fruit is an edible source of mela- burn. “Fiber could help move migraine frequency. The con- including killer cramps and tonin, a hormone that assists in food out of the stomach faster, nection, it has been surmised, brain fog, than those who took resetting your sleep and wake reducing the opportunity for is that low levels of magnesium in the lowest amounts. “Ribo- cycles so you’re tired when it reflux,” says study researcher may increase constriction of flavin is involved in boosting gets dark and chipper when the Hashem B. El-Serag, MD, blood vessels surrounding the certain neurotransmitters that sun rises. The day of your flight, MPH, chief of gastroenterol- brain, contributing to those might be involved in reducing eat a handful of dried tart cher- ogy and hepatology at Baylor skull-busters. To try to help PMS symptoms,” says study ries or down a glass of 100% tart College of Medicine. quell the jackhammer, munch author Elizabeth Bertone- cherry juice. Do the same after Other ways to dose yourself: your way through ¼ cup of the Johnson, PhD. Just 2 ounces dark for the first couple of days Stuff beans into a vegetarian green seeds daily, an amount of almonds, or about 40 nuts, at your destination. Bonus: The burrito or quesadilla; stir into that provides about half of your delivers more than 30% of your vitamin A in tart cherries can soup; mash for dip. magnesium needs. daily riboflavin needs. bolster your immune health, Other ways to dose yourself: Other ways to dose yourself: which is also beneficial when Sprinkle a handful into Add to cereal, yogurt, and spending time on a plane. oatmeal and salads to add cooked quinoa or rice; Other ways to dose yourself: some crunch; bake into garnish green beans and Toss into granola and desserts; make into pesto. asparagus; use as a crunchy pilafs; mix the juice into a coating for fish or chicken. smoothie or with club soda.

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