Skills for Successful Mentoring (PDF)
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SKILLS FOR SUCCESSFUL MENTORING: Competencies of Outstanding Mentors and Mentees $4.50 by Linda Phillips-Jones, Ph.D. ### CCC502-02 SKILLS FOR SUCCESSFUL MENTORING © 2003 by Linda Phillips-Jones, Ph.D. Author, The New Mentors and Proteges ffective mentoring requires more than processes can be learned, and relationships can common sense. Research indicates that be better––more enjoyable, productive, and Ementors and mentees who develop and even time-efficient––as a result. manage successful mentoring partnerships demonstrate a number of specific, identifiable Additional research by The Mentoring Group skills that enable learning and change to take revealed that unless a fairly structured process place. This strategy booklet describes these and specific skills are applied, mediocre skills and provides a tool for you to assess mentoring relationships occur. Not much yourself informally on each skill. happens, and participants become frustrated with their well-intended but haphazard efforts. The Identification of Mentoring Skills Worse, disappointed participants become convinced that mentoring doesn’t work. For years, individuals assumed that the process of mentoring was somewhat myster- On the positive side, when individuals use ious. These relationships just happened, and these skills and add structure, important, “chemistry” had to be present. It was impos- satisfying changes take place in the lives of both sible (even somewhat sacrilegious) to analyze mentees and mentors. and describe the specifics of what was going on in these arrangements. Analyzing and putting A skill is a learned, observable behavior you names to behaviors would theoretically kill them. perform that indicates (to someone else) how well you can do something. The set of skills Some people were able to find mentoring described here constitutes your overall ability relationships, while many individuals were to mentor and be mentored. unaware of how to get started with mentoring and missed out on one of the most powerful If you possess these skills to an adequate development strategies ever devised. quality level––and if you use them as frequently as called for—your chances of having mutually Linda Phillips-Jones (1977) studied hun- satisfying and productive mentoring relation- dreds of mentor-mentee partnerships as well ships will be greatly enhanced. The model on as individuals unable to identify any mentors in the next page illustrates the shared core skills their lives. The conclusion: mentoring was much used by both mentors and mentees and the more examinable and yet more complex than unique skills needed by each group. first thought. To help you be a more skilled mentor and On the “demystifying” side, Phillips-Jones mentee, look at the model, review the de- discovered that effective mentors and mentees scriptions of these mentoring skills and the use specific processes and skills throughout behaviors that make up each one, and start their relationships. Further, the skills and using the skills with the people in your life. 1 THE MENTORING SKILLS MODEL SHARED CORE SKILLS Instructing/ Acquiring Developing Mentors Capabilities Listening Learning Actively Quickly Inspiring MENTEE- MENTOR- Building SPECIFIC Showing Providing SPECIFIC Initiative Trust SKILLS Corrective SKILLS Encouraging Feedback Following Through Identifying Goals Managing Managing & Current Reality Risks the Opening Relationship Doors Core Mentoring Skills • use appropriate nonverbal language such as looking directly into people’s Both mentors and mentees should utilize the eyes, nodding your head, leaning following core skills in their mentoring part- slightly toward them, frowning, or nerships. smiling where appropriate; 1. Listening Actively • avoid interrupting mentors and mentees while they’re talking; Active listening is the most basic mentoring skill; the other skills build on—and require—it. • remember and show interest in When you listen well, you demonstrate to your things they’ve said in the past (“By mentors and mentees that their concerns have the way, how did the meeting with been heard and understood. As a result, they your manager go?”); and feel accepted by you, and trust builds. The way you indicate you’re listening intently is by • summarize the key elements of what performing several observable behaviors. For each of you said. example, if you’re an excellent listener, you: Resist the impulse always to turn the con- • appear genuinely interested by mak- versation to your experiences and opinions and ing encouraging responses such as to find immediate solutions to problems you may “Hmmm . .” and “Interesting . .” or be hearing. Listen carefully first; problem solve sometimes reflecting back (para- much later. If your mentors and mentees have phrasing) certain comments to show a habit of immediate problem solving, see if you you’ve grasped the meaning and can help them be better listeners and problem feelings behind the message; explorers. 2 2. Building Trust When was the last time you received too much praise? If never, you’re not alone. Effective The more that your mentors and mentees mentors encourage their mentees, which in turn trust you, the more committed they’ll be to your helps increase the mentees’ confidence and partnerships with them, and the more effective enables them to develop. you’ll be. This trust develops over time—if your mentors and mentees observe certain At the same time, successful mentees appropriate behaviors on your part. To become make a point of positively reinforcing their trustable, you must: mentors, which serves to keep the mentors focused and motivated. Provide genuine, • keep confidences shared by your positive feedback to your mentors and mentees mentors and mentees; on a regular basis. • spend appropriate time together; While there are many ways to encourage, • follow through on your promises to and mentors and mentees can differ in the types them; and amounts of encouragement they like, you can: • respect your mentors’ and mentees’ boundaries; • compliment your mentoring partners on accomplishments and actions; • admit your errors and take responsi- bility for correcting them; and • point out positive traits (such as per- severance and integrity) in addition to • tactfully tell your partners if and why their performance and accomplish- you disagree or are dissatisfied with ments; something so they’ll know you’re honest with them. • praise them privately, one-on-one; Particularly with cross-difference (e.g., gender, culture, style, age) mentoring, trust- • commend them in front of other people building is crucial and has to be developed over (being sensitive to any cultural and time. style preferences regarding public praise); 3. Encouraging • express thanks and appreciation; According to Phillips-Jones’ research, the most valued mentoring skill is giving encour- • write encouraging memos or e-mail agement. This includes giving your mentoring and leave complimentary voice mail; partners recognition and sincere positive ver- and bal feedback. • let them know how you use any help they give you. Mentors and mentees at several Fortune 500 companies revealed in interviews that positive Be certain that your praise and encour- verbal reinforcement—praise—was rare and agement are sincere. In mentoring, err in the even publicly discounted in their organiza- tions. However, most admitted enjoying being direction of too much praise, rather than too little. recognized for accomplishments and abilities Some human development experts recommend and receiving positive feedback—provided a ratio of four or five praises for every corrective such attention was sincere and not overdone. remark. Interviewees said they wished such behaviors were a greater part of their organizational cul- tures. 3 4. Identifying Goals and Current One effective individual, a former engineer Reality who was currently a division manager (and a mentee in two mentoring partnerships), dem- Whether you’re a mentor or mentee, you onstrated her skill of identifying goals and cur- should have a personal vision, specific goals, rent reality by writing this: and a good grasp of current reality. As a mentor, be clear on and talk to your mentees about their “My long-range goal is to be a general man- visions, dreams, and career/life goals. They’ll ager or vice president within ten years. My be interested in your current reality (your view technical skills as an engineer and my skills (as an operations manager) are strong. I now of your strengths and limitations as well as the manage 75 men and women. I’m weaker in current reality of situations within your sales and marketing.” organization) and want help recognizing theirs as well. “I expect to reach my goal by continuing to build our business, gaining some strong mar- As a mentee, you also need this skill. Be- keting and sales OJT in a temporary lateral fore asking for help, you should know your assignment, getting coaching from my two— tentative goals, strengths, what development and probably future—mentors, providing for- you need, and the specific assistance you’d like. mal mentoring to at least one promising indi- You should discuss these with your mentors. vidual a year, and hopefully, running one of our factories in about five years. My back-up goal The more aware you are of these, and the more is to leave and start my own company.” accurately you can convey them to potential helpers, the more likely they’ll be to assist your next steps. To demonstrate this mentoring skill: Model this skill by continually working on your own goals. Show your mentors and mentees • know what’s important to you, what how to take a less than ideal current reality and you value and desire most; pull that reality toward their goals. • recognize areas in which you’re able to Critical Skills for Mentors perform well, very concrete examples of behaviors you can perform at the In addition to the core mentoring skills good-to-excellent level; described above, mentors use several specific competencies in an attempt to help mentees • identify specific weaknesses or growth develop. areas observed in yourself and ones noted by others; 1.