Before I Go Resources

All these resources are ones I have personally used for one reason or another. It is not an exhaustive list, but it is easy to get overwhelmed with what is out there, so I recommend using these, and then any other resources local to your area.

WEBSITES: GENERAL Well worth exploring for all kinds of useful information – for America, some sites will direct you to state-side resources.

● The Natural Death Centre www.naturaldeath.org.uk Full of resources. you can print out a card here to keep in your wallet re your Living Will or Advance Care Directive.

● Compassion In Dying http://compassionindying.org.uk/ Lots of useful resources including reading matter, advance directives and info re wills.

● Dying Matters http://www.dyingmatters.org/ A coalition for England and wales, providing lots of useful resources.

● Final Fling https://www.finalfling.com/ Online resources for you to complete; similar information as is in the BIG workbook. Based in Scotland.

● OnceIveGone https://onceivegone.com/ Resources to help celebrate life and death (American)

1 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk ● Seven Ponds http://sevenponds.com – all end of life resources (American)

● The Order of the Good Death http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/ (American) – funny, uplifting and unusual site. Some fascinating reading matter.

● Threshold Choir (Worldwide- for singing at the side of a dying person) http://thresholdchoir.org/

● Alternative Ceremony – covering all kinds of alternative ceremonies as well as funerals, it offers the names of celebrants who will work with you to hold a funeral/memorial or other celebration, and all aspects associated with that. http://www.alternativeceremony.org/funeral-ceremony

● The Conversation Project - educates readers on how to start a conversation about dying and death, including the idea of Dinners Over Death. It’s American based but the idea translates easily to the UK. http://theconversationproject.org/

● Home Funerals – http://www.anaturalundertaking.co.uk/ Where you can learn more about taking care of the body yourself, as we used to do in the old days. Look for similar info for your own locality.

● DIY Coffins: Plans here to enable you to make your own coffin or casket. http://www.leedam.com/uploads/1/3/9/7/13978721/basic-diy-coffin-plans.pdf

http://www.leedam.com/uploads/1/3/9/7/13978721/basic-diy-cowboycasket- plans.pdf

2 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk Home Funeral Information http://finalpassages.org/ (USA)

http://www.goodfuneralguide.co.uk/find-a-funeral-director/do-it-all-yourself/ (UK)

BODY DONATION/PRESERVATION

● Body Donation (UK) For questions about this, including the local medical establishments accepting bodies. https://www.hta.gov.uk/faqs/body-donation- faqs. For other countries, check local regulations.

● Promession: an environmentally friendly way to dispose of human remains by way of freeze drying. Bodies are suspended in liquid nitrogen to prevent further deterioration. http://www.cryonics.org/

● Organ Donation: https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ (England/Wales) http://www.organdonationscotland.org/ (Scotland) In America, search for your state.

LEGAL WEBSITES

Last Will and Testament: UK https://freewillsmonth.org.uk/ Free wills month in the UK brings together charities and members of the public 55+ the chance to have wills written for free (donation to the charity if you wish).

3 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk ● http://wills.which.co.uk/whichwills/ UK. Which? Magazine’s site for affordable and easy to follow wills and other legal documents

● Power of Attorney – England, Wales and Northern Ireland (also Scotland if you prefer this site to the one above) http://www.mylawyer.co.uk/ Also see http://wills.which.co.uk/whichwills/index.cfm?event=base:poaselector

● Information for couples: A useful article on whether couples should have joint or individual wills. https://expertbeacon.com/married-couples-should- consider-individual-wills-vs-joint-will/#.V7N3Gf4rK

Living Wills/Advance Directives UK

● https://www.rocketlawyer.co.uk/documents-and-forms/living- will.rlm?gclid=CIHy3eHUss4CFU4z0wodbN4HSg (Note: In Scotland, this document is not legally binding). ● http://compassionindying.org.uk/library/advance-decision-pack/ (you can complete this online or print off and do by hand) ● http://adassistance.org.uk/ Excellent site with suggested wording for particular situations and adaptable templates. Will help you no matter what country you are in.

● Wills, Power of Attorney, and Living Wills: USA http://www.gyst.com/legal-help-write-a-will-living-will-and-advance- directives#DIY Useful site with resources for all the different states, including downloadable forms applicable to each state.

4 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk http://www.uslegalforms.com/livingwills/ Another site with living will information for each different state.

● http://www.vitaldecisions.net (USA) – for putting end of life health care plans in place

POLST http://polst.org/ A POLST is a form in the USA that summarises the patient’s wishes in the form of medical orders, and is only for individuals with a serious illness or advanced frailty near the end-of-life. It stands for Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment.

● Free online wills for Canadians http://www.canadawills.com/

BEREAVEMENT

● Bereavement Advice: good practical help for when someone dies. https://bereavementadvice.org

● For stopping direct mail coming to deceased people (UK): https://www.thebereavementregister.org.uk/

BOOKS

● Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications

of the Dying: Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley

● How to Write Your Will: Marlene Garsia

● The Gift of Alzheimer’s: Heart and Soul Journey: Maggie La Tourelle

● A Year to Live: How to Live This Year As If It Were Your Last: Stephen

Levine

5 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk ● The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying: Sogyal Rinpoche

● Being Mortal: Illness, Medicine and What Matters in the End: Atul Gawande

● On Death and Dying: Elisabeth Kubler Ross

● Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (and Other Lessons from the Crematorium)

Caitlin Doughty (founder of The Order of the Good Death)

● How We Die: Reflections on Life’s Final Chapters: Sherwin B Nuland

● On Children and Death: Elisabeth Kubler Ross

● Who Dies? Stephen Levine

● Dying to be Me: Anita Moorjani

● The New Natural Death Handbook: Nicholas Albery, Stephanie Wienrich

● The Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness by J.

Lynn, J. Harrold and J. Schuster.

● Overcoming the Fear of Death: Through each of the 4 main belief systems

Kelvin H. Chin.

• Knocking on Heaven’s Door by Katy Butler

FILMS/AUDIO:

• Talk by Stephen Garrett in Canada, about facing up to death. (Bear with it, the beginning is unusual and goes on a bit, but as soon as he starts speaking, it is good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t3Zdegcwho

• How To Die: Simon’s Choice A BBC2 (UK) true story of one man’s choice of how to die after being diagnosed with motor neurone disease

6 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b070jm26/how-to-die-simons-choice

• How to Have a Good Death (Womans Hour, BBC Radio 4 - UK) http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b06ztzwn

• Dying Wish: documentary about Dr. Michael Miller, an 80 year old retired surgeon with end-stage terminal cancer and choosing to stop eating and drinking in order not to prolong the dying process. It’s very inspiring. http://www.dyingwishmedia.com/

• Departures (DVD) A poignant story set in Japan about a young man whose life is changed when he embarks on a job as an encoffineer, preparing deceased bodies for burial. Very beautiful and sensitively done. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1069238/ (trailer)

OTHER GENERAL RESOURCES:

Hospice – best to search on the internet for your closest one and visit them well in advance of when you think it might be needed. Each hospice will have their own way of doing things. Volunteering there will also give you a better insight into how they work. NB – the system for hospice is different in different countries and states; make sure you are checking out the relevant information to your situation.

Death Cafes - events where people drink tea, eat cake and discuss death. Anyone can hold one, there are guidelines to be found at www.deathcafe.com And you can search on the website for one near you.

7 www.beforeigosolutions.com © Jane Duncan Rogers 2018 www.wildwisdom.co.uk Airlines Bereavement Fares – if you need to travel or adjust travel plans in relation to a bereavement, it is worth checking if your airline offers bereavement fares.

Citizens Advice Bureaux (UK) – check with your local office for relevant local and national information on dying, death and grief.

FOR SMALL BUSINESSES

● Federation of Small Businesses UK http://www.fsb.org.uk/

● National Federation of Independent Business (USA) http://www.nfib.com/

NB: This subject matter is an area which is experiencing changes quickly, especially as this topic becomes less and less taboo – check out the resources above and use them for ideas to search for in your own locality.