TO PRAY for the LIVING and the DEAD a Pastoral Letter On
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TO PRAY FOR THE LIVING AND THE DEAD A Pastoral Letter on Christian Funerals Most Reverend James H. Garland Bishop of the Diocese of Marquette INTRODUCTION Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ: No one leaves this world alive. All of us face death - our own death and those of our friends and loved ones. Death is natural and part of the human condition after the fall of Adam. Saint Cyprian, a third century Bishop of North Africa and a martyr, questioned the logic of Christians who pray daily for the kingdom to come and God's will to be done, but try to avoid death and deny its reality: "How unreasonable to pray that God's will be done, but not promptly obey it when he calls us from this world." Saint Cyprian was writing to encourage Christians facing martyrdom. Today, we have different reasons to avoid facing death when it comes to our friends and relatives. One reason is the transfer of the care of the sick and dying to the hospital and nursing home away from our own homes. Care is taken from our hands. Our loved ones enter a living situation with rules and regulations that we do not always understand. While some families are able to care for loved ones, many of us cannot and so find ourselves with only minimal tasks of care giving. In this circumstance, we begin to accept death and to experience a form of closure when our mother, father, spouse, or other loved one is institutionalized. Consequently, we may consider the funeral rites unnecessary for assisting us in handling the loss resulting from death. There is another circumstance in which many young adults find themselves. If they have never faced the loss of a close family member, death is strange and a mystery to them. In addition, if they no longer practice the faith, they may be unfamiliar with the Catholic burial rites. As a result, they are inclined to avoid the unknown and eliminate or minimize the ritual acts when they have the responsibility for burying the dead. For these and other reasons, we see a trend today to omit or reduce to a minimum the Church's rites of Christian burial. This diminishes prayer for the dead and removes the opportunity to give witness to faith. It deprives those remaining of the consolation and emotional relief that the funeral rites offer. Grief is necessary and should be allowed to run its natural course. We are then better able to regain our balance and continue to 1 live our lives in a healthy manner. The grieving process is assisted by the support of others in the family and the community of faith. The parish family stands willing to help us heal and find peace. With this Pastoral Letter, I want to encourage our people, pastors and other pastoral ministers and funeral directors to make full use of the richness of the traditional Catholic funeral and burial rites–for the sake of our beloved dead and for the sake of those who mourn their loss. THE FUNERAL RITES There are three principal moments in the Christian funeral: the Vigil or Wake, the Funeral Liturgy, and the Rite of Committal. For the proper celebration of a Christian Burial and the fuller participation of the family, it is best that the pastor or associate meet with the bereaved soon after the death. Visiting with and listening to the bereaved are key elements for effective planning. In this way the pastor can meet the needs and wishes of the family and fulfill his own responsibilities to provide the Church's ministry to them. The funeral director can often help the family to understand the role of the Church's minister at the time of death. The minister's involvement is essential and should be expected and sought by the family members. Many of our parishes offer the family the services of a parish Bereavement Committee. Its members are trained to accompany the family in observing the passage of their loved one. They can assist in the planning of the liturgy helping the bereaved to select readings, prayers, music, and members of the parish community to serve as ushers, pallbearers, lectors, and servers. Parish lectors exercise the responsibility of proclaiming scripture and can free the family members to experience the Church's ministry to them. Bereavement ministry is a true Christian ministry that can alleviate much of the family's anxiety and questions. THE VIGIL It is not uncommon today that more people attend the wake than the Funeral Liturgy. The Church's Ritual uses the word vigil for a reason. It is a time when the faithful watch in prayer with the family members and await the Funeral Liturgy and burial. The Christian community gathers at the family home, the Funeral Home, or the church. The Church gently accompanies the grieving family and offers encouragement and hope as they face the death of a loved one and ponder the passage from this life to the life which is to come. The Vigil can be thought of as a dialogue between God and the assembled people and between the consoling community and the bereaved. The focal points to consider when planning the Vigil are the deceased and the bereaved. How can the deceased be honored and lifted up in prayer? How can the bereaved be consoled? What readings, what songs, what stories, what prayers will give the service its most rewarding dimension and content? We have discovered that story telling helps people to adjust to the new circumstances that accompany a major loss. With the special time afforded for 2 the sharing of stories and memories from the life of the deceased, the Vigil can be a good beginning for the long process of coming to terms with life now that the deceased person is gone. Many pastors and families see an advantage in holding the Vigil service at the parish. A gathering in the church, while showing due respect to the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, allows more of the community to participate in the offering of sympathy, but also in the Funeral Mass that might follow. When this happens, there should be some amount of time separating the Vigil from the Funeral Mass or Liturgy to avoid duplication of prayers and scripture. RITES RELATED TO THE VIGIL The Church offers the family other opportunities for ritual prayer, two before the Vigil, and one after. The first of these Related Rites offers prayers soon after the death has occurred, the second when the family gathers for the first time in the presence of the body, and the third as the body begins the journey to the church for the Funeral Mass or Liturgy. These three brief times of prayer are signs of the community's concern for the family members and close friends of the deceased. The Word of God is proclaimed and familiar prayers and litanies are prayed–simple rituals at critical moments which go a long way to help reassure the mourners and create an atmosphere of calm in the face of need and uncertainty. THE FUNERAL LITURGY The Funeral Liturgy is the central celebration of the Funeral Rites. The Eucharist is the foretaste of eternal life in Christ. In Holy Mass we are united with Christ, with each other and with all the faithful living and dead. Jesus said, "Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood shall live forever." (John 6:54) Here in the Holy Mass we make present Christ's saving death and Resurrection and we remember His passing from death to life. Our reception of the body of the deceased in the Church and the celebration of the Eucharist with the body present has significant meaning for the believer. It was in the Church where the Christian life of the deceased person was begotten in baptism and nourished in the Eucharist. Here he or she has encountered Christ in the other sacraments of the Church. Now the community of faith gathers in the church to commend one of its members to God. The people of God reverence the body with prayer, incense, and Holy Water, for we believe it has been the temple of the Holy Spirit and the dwelling place of the Holy Trinity. Here we clothe the casket with the pall to remind us of the garment given in baptism, signifying life in Christ. The full and active participation of the assembly shows the importance of prayers for the dead and strengthens and supports the bereaved. Through the funeral rites and presence of the assembled faithful, the family receives a sure sign of faith and hope in the death and Resurrection of the Lord - the Paschal Mystery. At the same time, members of the parish community address their need to grieve the loss of one of their 3 own by participating in the Funeral Mass and show their respect and love for the deceased by their attendance. There is no more effective means to express our love and provide spiritual benefit to the deceased than to offer Holy Mass that they may be released from their sins and gain eternal life. "From the beginning the Church has honored the memory of the dead and offered prayers in suffrage for them, above all the Eucharistic sacrifice so that, thus purified, they may attain the beatific vision of God." (Catechism of the Catholic Church, #1032) Participation of the assembly in the Funeral Liturgy does not merely fulfill a social requirement, but also constitutes a spiritual and corporal work of mercy.