TULANEHULLABALOO.COM ARCADE 11

'])ear 'Fo(fowers ef the Cufr ef Pa((,

I have put up with your nonsensical love of this medio- cre season for long enough. Fall is the second-worst season only just above winter so, like everything else does during autumn, please let this enthusiasm die. By far the most perplexing thing I've heard is a longing for it to get cold. I left the Northeast for New Orleans to escape the cold and let my bitter heart thaw, but you fools beg for it and so now you'll bear the brunt of my bitterness. From what I understand, people want it to be cold enough to wear sweaters and scarves, so they can be "cor/' All sweaters are ugly sweaters, and make people look like tiny grandparents. Mummifying yourself in a scarf isn't fashionable. Your neck can't be that cold. What is this ob- session with layers? I barely have time to throw on shorts .' and a T-shirt before dragging my raggedy self to class. I ILLUSTRATION BY EMILIE ELIOPOULOS don't need you people showing me up even more with these elaborate onions of outfits composed of about five different things to keep your torso warm. I've also heard how excited people are to drink hot cof- It's also dark all the time now. Remember summer, that So please, I'm begging you, shut up about fall. Your fee and soup, which will feel 'so nice" when it's cold out. glorious time when the sun stayed up until 9 p.m? Re- over-hyping of the season just makes it all the worse, es- One: hot liquids are the devil, and two: sunlight. Sunlight member how nice that was? Now by 7 p.m. it's pitch black. pecially because fll give it three weeks before I'm listening feels nice. Burning my mouth on soup just makes me teel and there's this ominous wind blowing trash around. Don't to all of you complain that you're freezing, and can't wait like one of those tiny grandparents slowly creeping to- let 'J\rnerican ｂ ･ ｡ ｵ ｾ ｹ Ｂ make that seem artsy - garbage is until one of the seasons that doesn't turn everything into a wards a bitter demise. garbage, only now its trying to fly into my mouth. barren wasteland comes. Also, stop pretending pumpkin spice lattes taste like Some people claim the holidays are the best part of fall anything other than concentrated sugar. That's not what a Like Halloween, the holiday we spend $40 on a costume pumpkin tastes like; that's what diabetes tastes like. to vomit in. Or maybe they mean Thanksgiving, the one Possibly worst of all is sports season. I have to listen to where we convince ourselves turkey isn't the worst tasting Sincere(y, dudes ｳ ｣ ｲ ･ ｡ ｭ ｩ ｮ ｾ at a TV every five seconds. Screaming at bird, and our relatives remind us were single, haven't fig- the game doesn t impact the game fellas, it just reminds ured out what were doing after college ancf that our other me I have very little in common with my father. What, too relatives are doing much better via dinner table interroga- Sliiverin3 Cynic real? tions. So fun.

Spielberg's 'Bridge of Spies' takes viewers back in tillle

BY BRYCE BERMAN "When Tom knows a character, you know, he be- ness, the film is not without some humor, as the STAFF REPORTER comes that person the same way Daniel Day-Lewis script was written by Matt Charman and the Coen became Abraham Lincoln;' Spielberg said. brothers - screenwriters notorious for their clever, Over 30 college students from across the country It was Spielberg's quest to make the film as ac- dark humor. dialed into the Walt Disney Company's conference curate as f ossible, so much so that Francis Powers, Some basic background knowledge on the Cold call line last Thursday. They were eager to have a ca- founder o the Cold War Museum in Warrenton, Vir- War may be useful in understanding the film, but it sual conversation with one of the most famous direc- ginia and son of the in the film, is still very engaging thanks to its star-studded cast, tors in the world, , about his newest played a large role in the making of the movie. The interesting settings and unpredictable plot. It is a movie, "Bridge of Spies." speech to the Supreme Court that Donovan gives in new, refreshing taste on the Cold War from a dimen- The film takes place during the height of the Cold the movie is word-for-word what Donovan actually sion often unseen. Instead of depicting the supposed War, when fears of the Soviet Union and nuclear war said. Hanks' character also catches a cold when con- Soviet spy as an enemy, he is seen as a kind, quiet were at an all-time high. It focuses on the true sto- ducting negotiations in East Germany, which actual- man who actually becomes quite close to Donovan, ry of American lawyer James Donovan () ly did happen to Donovan. Though a seemingly small his American lawyer. "Bridge of Spies" will definitely who is asked to represent accused Soviet spy Rudolf detail, it shows just how devoted Spielberg and his be making rounds at this year's Oscars. Abel () in court and negotiate the ex- crew were to maintaining historical accuracy. Some basic background knowledge on the Cold change between Abel and U.S pilot Francis Gary When asked about how he was able to so accurate- War may be useful in understanding the film, but it Powers (Austin Stowell), who was captured and held ly recreate the environment and essence of the Cold is still very engaging thanks to its star-studded cast, prisoner in the Soviet Union. War, Spielberg credited production designer Adam interesting settings and unpredictable plot. It is a Tom Hanks' performance as James Donovan is im- Stockhausen. new, refreshing taste on the Cold War from a dimen- peccable. The audience may forget they're watching a "I le presented me with a tremendous amount of ｳ ｩ ｯ ｾ often unseen. Instead ｯ ｾ depicting the .supposed movie and instead feel like they are watching history research just because he wanted to capture the au- Soviet spy as an enemy, he 1s seen as a kind, quiet unfold in front of their eyes. From the changing color thenticity of what it was like both living in America man who actually becomes quite close to Donovan, palette of the cinematography to the flash bulb pho- during that very paranoid time and what it was like his American lawyer. "Bridge of Spies" will definitely tography and great acting, the film is very well done. existing in East Germany;' Spielberg said. be making rounds at this year's Oscars. Spielberg admits he is "blessed" to work with actors Though Cold War tensions were evidently high like Hanks. and the cinematography depicts this sense of dark-