Dawgs Vs. Dogs
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TUESDAY NOVEMBER26,2002 VOLUME88,ISSUE18 All the news that fits we print. Almost 100 percent new content! A special edition of “The South’s Liveliest College Newspaper” ONLINE:www.nique.net ESTABLISHED 1911, GEORGIA INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY Stadium Regulations Changes at Sanford Homecoming Dawgs vs. Dogs theme annouced The committee planning the Administrators announce new admission 2003 Homecoming game recent- policies that no longer favor humans ly announced the theme for next’s year week-long festivities. “Piss- By Bob Stuyevandt and animals the same when it ing the Night Away in 2003” Kind of a writer comes to admissions standards. will be the featured theme for In the past we have only had a the event. In an expected move Thurs- human population, but we Next year’s homecoming fes- day, the “University” of Geor- thought it would be interesting tivities will end with a game gia Administration announced to see animals and humans against Vocational School of that humans “studying” to- Northeastern New Mexico State, would no long- gether more,” following the tradition of all SEC er be the only “We have always explained teams to play the equivalent of a species allowed U(sic)GA high school team for homecom- to apply for ad- had a problem President ing. As always the festivities will mission start- keeping our student Michael Ad- include a beer chugging contest ing next year. ams. as well as the Most Likely to U(sic)GA , population under “I am really Become a Prominent Fast Food like most Uni- control. Now, with excited about Worker and Miss Piggy contests. versities, has all the new had a storied a the addition of the types of people history of al- collars, finding a that will be Tickets available lowing only coming to humans onto student will be no campus next for Citrus Bowl its campus. problem” year. My His- Although the Dawgs will play However, tory of Rock for the SEC championship on Michael Adams starting in and Roll class- Dec. 7 against LSU, adminis- UGA President 1785, it be- es are really dif- trators have already predicted that came very ob- ficult and it will in following with the choking vious that the be nice to find tradition of the team the Dawgs very animals some new will fail to capture the champi- that U(sic)GA “studies” could ‘study’ partners,” explained jun- By Peter “Big” Johnson/ STUDENT PUBLICATIONS onship for the 22nd time. There- Signs outside of Sanford Stadium announce the new changes to those greatly improve the overall aca- ior Allison Nickles. fore tickets for the Citrus Bowl attending games. However, the new regulations will only be noticed by the demic prestige of the school. Starting next year, Georgia attending games. However, the new regulations will only be noticed by the will go on sale Dec. 8 at the few U(sic)GA students and fans that can actually read the stadium signs. “We decided to “go out on a few U(sic)GA students and fans that can actually read the stadium signs. student ticket pick up area out- limb” and start treating humans See Getting In, page 4 side Sanford Stadium. Tutition increase Dawgs outraged by new voting machines By Bubba Ray Smith Jones ogy, smashed pens and other for mild electrical shock. Several don’t have a decent college news- angers students We is the Best in the SEC sharp objects through the screens other students ran screaming from paper. Computerized voting of at least 137 machines. the voting booths when they were machines are like magic to these By Bobbi Jo Lynn Smith Local officials estimate that “I wasn’t angry or nothin’,” splattered with fluid from punc- people.” Gator Hater Athens residents caused as much said Asinine Ugah, who jabbed tured liquid crystal displays. “It was all dem colors an as $8 million in damage to new at his voting machine with a fork. “I’m just relieved the num- blinkin’ lights an stuff,” said Univeristy (sic) President Michael Ad- computerized voting machines “Alls I was hearin’ on the news ber of injuries wasn’t higher,” Hunter “Stonewall” Jackson. “Ya ams recently announced a plan to the Board earlier in elections earlier this was ‘bout dem hangin chads in said elections official Hans Blix. go in d’ere and yur like a deer of Regents’ that could result in an increase month. Most of the damage seems Florida ‘cause dem people cain’t “You take a substantial risk any caught in headlights.” in tuition cost for U(sic)GA students. to have occurred at polling sta- punch through de paper. D’at time you bring advanced tech- With so many machines out According to Adams, the hike, which tions scattered around U(sic)GA ain’t gon’ happen n’ere. I ain’t a nology into a backwater area like of service, elections officials had could directly affect many students, comes campus. Students and faculty, pussy.” Athens. Heck, until ten years to resort to improvised written in response to the recent budget cuts put on apparently confused and disori- Ugah was one of 125 stu- ago, U(sic)GA hadn’t even seen the school by the state. ented by touch-screen technol- dents treated in local hospitals color television, and they still See Voting, page 5 “Those policticians down in the big city don’t know what they’re doing by cutting our funds,” said Adams. “We have made so many improvements on campus in recent U(sic)GA president hopes to fix sewers years. Last year we were finally able to pro- vide electricity to all of our dorms.” By I.P. Freely “I think that this SHIT is the Without some new funds these improve- DAWG Nation perfect thing for U(sic)GA,” said ments would come to an end, and the school Adams. would be forced to end some projects. “Cur- Hoping to emulate the re- “We’ll be able to introduce a rently we are planning to renovate all of the cent success of Georgia Tech variety of cutting-edge technol- outhouses on campus by 2005 and without President Wayne Clough’s plan ogies in the area of sanitation this tuition hike this will never occur,” said to rebuild Atlanta’s sewer sys- science like toilets with high-tech Adams. tem, U(sic)GA President Michael flushing mechanisms. No long- U(sic)GA students are greatly divided Adams has formed his own team er will students be forced to dis- on the issue. “I really like some of them to tackle the “sewers” of Athens, pose of their waste products by improvements being made,” said Short- Georgia. hurling it from their dorm win- Division major Billy Bob Clyde Gump. “I Together with a group of dows.” mean it’s really nice to have heaters in the world-renowned experts with ex- “I’s so excited. We’s finally outhouses and typewriters in the labs, but a perience in a variety of Third- gonna get them deeelightful white tuition hike wouln’t be no good at all. I World countries, Adams will head flushing bedpans like they’s got the Sanitation and Health Im- in the Wal-Mart,” said Ellie May By Sue Ellen Potter / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS See Monies, page 3 provement Team, also known Installation of the new sewage system takes place on campus. This as SHIT. See Sewers, page 5 marks the first organized sewer system in Athens since 1785. 2 • Tuesday, November 26, 2002 • To Hell With Georgia TO HELL WITH NEWS THWUGA: As much about us as them THWUGA Online Voice Your Opinion! By Jody Shaw note that THWUGA is as much Over the years the Technique has Last issue’s poll got lots responses to the question: Editor-in-Chief about us, as a newspaper and an produced various issues mocking “What’s the most important thing to bring to the game?” Institute, as it is about our rivals. UGA’s daily newspaper, The Red Here are the most popular responses: If it’s your first year at Georgia Some 92 years ago, the first edi- and Black, and the constituency it Tech—or if you are a University of tors of the Technique published Vol- serves. It’s been called The Rude and Georgia student lucky enough to ume One, Issue One on November Bleak and UGA Today, and its lead lay eyes on this issue of the Tech- 17, 1911. The eight-page tabloid story has ranged from last year’s re- nique—allow me to introduce you quired airport security classes to Uga to “To Hell With Georgia,” a very V’s sex change operation. special edition of “The South’s Live- It is the tradition But it is not the name of the liest College Newspaper.” In the next paper or the content within it that 26 pages you will find alcohol and embodied in this issue matters most to us; it is the tradition incest, rednecks and farm animals that we hold dear. embodied in this issue that we hold and lots and lots of dawgs. dear—a tradition of ingenuity and I’m often asked how the tradi- creativity that binds us together not tion of THWUGA began. My friends only as a newspaper staff, but also as at the University of Georgia say that newspaper focused primarily on the a Tech community. For as ourfound- by producing such a “rag,” we Tech upcoming football contest with the ers expressed in their original issue, students merely perpetuate unfor- Georgia. It predicted, arrogantly and the name Technique “expresses the tunate stereotypes—of Athens stu- incorrecly, that the Jackets would purpose and nature of the school dents as drunken rednecks and triumph over the Bulldogs.