Fable Us!
The Musical
Book and Lyrics
By
P.K. Silverson
Music
By
Gary Sironen
SAMPLE EXCERPT
Contact:
Paul Silberberg Writing as P.K. Silverson
© 2010, 2016. All Rights Reserved 1.
FABLE US! INTRODUCTION (The Greek Chorus enters around a towering urn decorated with the fourteen gods of Olympus. The heavenly mountain rises majestically behind the urn.) GREEK CHORUS (sings) EFPROSDEKTOS! WELCOME FRIEND. BACK TO HELLAS LET'S ATTEND. FUN TOGETHER WE INTEND. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US!
JOIN US WHEN THE WORLD WAS NEW. WHEN BRONZE TURNED TO IRON TRUE. WE WILL SHOW IT ALL TO YOU! IT'S ALL GREEK TO US. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US WHEN OUR GODS ARE LAUGHING. DIONYSUS' MERRY AND WE DRINK ALL DAY. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US 'TIL GREAT ZEUS GETS ANGRY. WE'RE GONE IN A FLASH WHEN HE GETS THAT WAY. WE INVENTED HISTORY, MEDICINE, PHILOSOPHY. WE PUT THE HIP IN HYPOCRISY. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US. WE MADE CIVILIZATION, CITY STATES AND THE NATION. WE COULD USE A VACATION. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US! IT'S ALL GREEK TO US WHEN OUR TYRANTS ARE DOTING. EACH STATE THEN REBUTS BUT IT'S ALL THE SAME. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US WITH OUR WAY OF VOTING, THEN WE LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE THE BLAME. TWELVE GODS RULE OUR GRECIAN SCENE ON OLYMPUS THEY CONVENE. DIMITRIS Sound Off! (A spotlight highlights each god on the urn as they're named.) ALEXANDRA Mighty Zeus is number one. 2.
GEORGI Aphrodite, love's sweet fun. CHLOE God of War fierce Ares is. COSMO Athena's wisdom heralds bliss. OTIS Huntress Artemis never wrong. KARA Apollo both of sun and song. ALEXANDRA Bold Poseidon rules the seas. GEORGI Demeter's harvest sure to please. CHLOE Hermes knows his merchandise. COSMO Hera makes the family nice. OTIS Hestia by hearth beguiles ALEXANDRA Dionysus brings us smiles. DIMITRIS (sings) THERE YOU HAVE IT, THAT'S ALL TWELVE. GREEK CHORUS BUT THAT'S NOT ALL. DIMITRIS WHAT'S THE FUSS? GREEK CHORUS IT'S ALL GREEK TO US! DIMITRIS (sings) FINE. LET'S DO MORE... GEORGI Hephaestus formed heavy metal. 3.
CHLOE The Underworld's where Hades settled. GREEK CHORUS (sings) TWELVE GODS RULE OUR GRECIAN SCENE ON OLYMPUS THEY CONVENE. COUNT THEM ALL, YOU'LL GET FOURTEEN. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US. WE INVENTED TRAGEDY, DRAMA PLAYS AND COMEDY. ANY SHOW YOU WANT TO SEE, IT'S ALL GREEK TO US. OPA! ACT 1 SCENE 1 The Road To Lydia (The Chorus Men adjust their tunics as the Women adjust their peploses to assume the garb of traveling merchants on the road to the market.) GREEK CHORUS (Continued) (sings) IT'S ALL GREEK TO US, ORACLES EXPLAINING. WE DON'T DISCOUNT THEM BUT THERE'S NO PRETENSE. IT'S ALL GREEK TO US THOUGH WE'RE NOT COMPLAINING. WE JUST LOOK TO SOMEONE ELSE TO MAKE SOME SENSE. ALEXANDRA I've heard there's a man who tells it like it is. CHLOE You must be talking about Aesop. KARA What an imagination. He must be so handsome. OTIS Word has it he's on his way to join the court of Croesus right now. KARA What I wouldn't give to meet a man like Aesop. He knows so much! The Gods themselves must be jealous. 4.
CHLOE You wouldn't know Aesop if he was right in front of you. KARA Oh, I'd recognize him if I saw him. I'm sure he's as strong as his inspiration with a gleam in his cunning eyes. (Spyros, a roguishly handsome young man, strides purposefully toward the group carrying a small lidded basket.) ALEXANDRA Well, that looks like your dream boy now! CHLOE Don't miss your chance because you're too shy. Talk to him. SPYROS Kalimeru, ladies and gentlemen. ALEXANDRA Or, he could talk to you. (Alexandra nudges Kara toward Spyros. Dimitris watches with disapproval.) KARA Beautiful day, isn't it? SPYROS Couldn't be better. The world may not be perfect, but when the gods placed you in it, they came as close as they could get. KARA Oh, my! ALEXANDRA Oh, my. OTIS Oh brother. Come on. We have to get to market. KARA You go. I'll catch up. DIMITRIS I don't think that's such a wise idea, girl. (The Chorus moves on leaving Kara and Dimitris behind with Spyros.) 5.
SPYROS I wouldn't mind going out of my way to see this young lady safely home. DIMITRIS I'm sure you wouldn't. How stupid do you think we are? (A tied sack slung over his back, Aesop hobbles toward the group on his crutch. He stops to watch the exchange.) SPYROS I didn't mean any offense, friend. DIMITRIS My friends don't speak to young ladies so boldly. I would think a world renowned story-teller such as yourself would have better manners. SPYROS Story-teller? There has to be some mistake. KARA Oh, Aesop, don't be so modest. We know you're on your way to join the king's court. I wouldn't mind showing you the way. AESOP So you're the famous Aesop! Good to meet you, sir! (He offers his hand. Confused, Spyros accepts it.) SPYROS But I'm not... AESOP Oh, no need to be so modest! KARA No need at all! DIMITRIS That's enough, young lady! AESOP You know, Aesop. Your current predicament puts me very much in mind of a story I heard once a long, long time ago. I think it was one of yours. SPYROS I don't have any stories! 6.
DIMITRIS I suggest you mind your own business, grandpa. I'll deal with Aesop appropriately. AESOP All right. If you don't want to hear a good story... SPYROS Oh, no. We want to hear it. We're all very eager to hear it. AESOP I don't want to impose. SPYROS Please impose! KARA Why don't you tell it, Aesop? SPYROS Let's humor the old man. AESOP You're very kind. DIMITRIS Just get on with it. AESOP Have you heard the story of the wolf in sheep's clothing? KARA Of course. Everyone has. SPYROS I haven't. AESOP Really? How amazing. I was sure you made it up while tending your master's sheep on Samos. SPYROS I've never been to Sa... (He glances at Kara. She frowns.) SPYROS (Continued) I love a good story. Tell it to us, please? AESOP How can I resist when you've been so gracious? 7.
(As a shepherd, Cosmo leads three members of the Greek Chorus dressed as sheep onto the road. Chloe breaks away, frolicking enthusiastically around Spyros. Lurking near the back, Georgi is a hungry wolf watching the flock.) AESOP (Continued) It seems a wolf had been lurking near a flock of sheep for days. (Aesop breaks away to chastise Chloe.) AESOP (Continued) Less frolic, more grazing, please. CHLOE Bah! I mean... baaaa! (Reluctantly, Chloe allows Cosmo to herd her back to the flock.) AESOP Because of the shepherd, the wolf was becoming desperately hungry. (A sheepskin sails toward the wolf. Georgi snatches it.) AESOP (Continued) Then, he found a discarded sheepskin and slipped it on... (Cosmo herds the sheep around Georgi.) AESOP (Continued) ... Which fooled the shepherd into shutting the hungry wolf in with the flock when night fell. But because the shepherd was hungry, too... (Cosmo seizes Georgi by the sheepskin. Terrified, Georgi sinks to his knees.) AESOP (Continued) ... he grabbed the first animal he came to for his dinner. When he found he'd seized a wolf, he killed it on the spot. (Cosmo slashes Georgi who falls. Cosmo drags him off. The sheep follow. Dimitris eyes Spyros menacingly.) 8.
DIMITRIS Bad luck for the wolf, indeed. AESOP Yes, but we learn from their encounter that appearances can be deceiving. KARA Sounds just like one of Aesop's famous fables. AESOP In that case, it's a good thing I happen to be Aesop. KARA You're Aesop? Then who's he? SPYROS I'm an assistant in the king's kitchen. See? (He opens the basket lid to show vegetables from the market.) AESOP Like I said, appearances can be deceiving. DIMITRIS See how foolish you've been? Now let's be off to the market. Come along, girl. (He leads Kara away.) SPYROS Boy, am I lucky you came along. AESOP Does this kind of thing happen to you often? SPYROS Often enough... and not often enough, if you know what I mean. AESOP I don't think I want to know what you mean, young man. SPYROS I'm Spyros. It would my pleasure and my honor to escort you to our court, Master Aesop. AESOP It's equally my honor to be escorted, as one is judged by the company they keep. 9.
SPYROS I've heard that one. It's from The Farmer and the Stork, isn't it? AESOP Right you are, my new friend. SPYROS I have a feeling things are going to get very interesting with you around, Master Aesop. Our court philosophers are in for a rare treat. AESOP That's always the hope, my new friend. But one should never count their chickens before they've hatched. Let's not keep our good king waiting. (Spyros leads Aesop down the road followed by the Greek Chorus.) GREEK CHORUS (sings) LYDIA IS JUST AHEAD. WEAVING FABLES FOR YOUR HEAD, HERE'S OLD AESOP. LIKE WE SAID: IT'S ALL... IT'S ALL... GREEK... IT'S ALL GREEK... TO US! OPA! SCENE 2 Sardis, Lydia. Court of Croesus (Thales enters a magnificent hall. Solon broods as he stares at a tropical vista.) THALES Kalimeru, Citizen Solon. SOLON I can see the morning, Thales. Other than your company, I just don't know what's particularly good about it. THALES More grim tidings from Athens? SOLON I spent my whole life undoing the damage Draco did to my beloved city. But in the four years since I last saw home, everything I accomplished has been obliterated. It's like I never even existed. 10.
THALES Then it's a good thing you left when you did. At least our royal patron respects your opinion. SOLON Does he really? Cyrus builds his armies every day. Meanwhile, despite my best advice, our liege squanders his father's fortune on worldly pleasures. THALES There's something to be said about this happy land. SOLON It's a bit too happy if you ask me. THALES If it's any consolation, I believe you. (Croesus staggers in lugging a huge urn of wine.) CROESUS Kalimeru my friends! Don't you love the first light of day? Apollo be praised! (He drinks heartily from the urn every time he praises someone or some god.) CROESUS (Continued) This is my favorite time of day, before the court assembles. There's only so much fawning a monarch can stand. Dionysus be praised! SOLON It's almost midday, Sire... (Thales nudges him with a warning glance.) THALES Let us be sure not to offend the highest of the high. (Croesus decides Solon means someone else.) CROESUS Good point, good point. Zeus be praised! Oh, who am I kidding? I love the fawning. You both have my permission to kowtow as you please. (Thales and Solon bow slowly.) 11.
SOLON Most gracious, your highness. CROESUS Yes it is, yes it is. So, what business do we have today, boys? SOLON I'm still concerned about the growing power of your Eastern neighbors... CROESUS Too, too tedious. Enough of that, my good man. I could use more cheerful advice. SOLON I cannot be of service to your majesty by telling you wild tales... CROESUS Wild tales? Oh, by the gods, today is the day! THALES What day is today, my king? (The Greek Chorus drift in clad as court attendants.) CROESUS I've acquired the services of a new advisor. Someone to bring balance to all your gloom and doom. SOLON If your majesty is not pleased... CROESUS Now, now wise Solon. You are an informed and educated man. You can't possibly be threatened by the presence of a new voice in the service of reason. Dionysus be praised. Oh, yum. Yes, he's a good god. Let's praise him some more. THALES In your wisdom, majesty, I'm sure the new counselor will be a valuable addition. Where's he coming from, if I may ask? CROESUS He should be arriving today from Samos. SOLON That sorry island is renowned only for its goats and... oh, no! You didn't! 12.
CROESUS Oh, yes I did! THALES SOLON You can't be serious. Your highness, this fellow Isn't he a slave? is but a story-teller. CROESUS I prevailed upon his master Iadmon to grant his freedom so he might join us as a full citizen. And it really didn't cost that much. Only a talent or two, give or take a few slaters. Some people can be so reasonable in the face of instant wealth. SOLON Why would you do such a thing? CROESUS Because it makes me happy. And, because I can! SOLON Happiness isn't everything, your majesty. CROESUS It's good enough. And, I have the money to buy it! (sings) WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY AND MY FATHER WAS THE KING, THE ROYAL LIFE WAS GOOD. WE HAD ALMOST EVERYTHING! AND THEN HE HAD A DREAM TO GATHER ALL THE GOLD AND MAKE SLATERS INSTEAD. SO NOW I'VE GOT IT ALL! RICH LIKE ME. GEE, IT'S GREAT TO BE RICH LIKE ME. CAN'T YOU SEE? EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE RICH LIKE ME! I CAN BUY ABOUT ANYTHING. ARMS, PHILOSOPHERS, FANCY RINGS. THERE'S NO NEED TO GO PILLAGING, I CAN HAVE... EVERYTHING! IF I WANT A NEW MANSE DON'T ASK... I BUY IT. WANT SOME MORE LAND I SIMPLY ACQUIRE IT. DEPOSIT DOWN? ABSURD... I PAY WITH CASH. IT'S BACKED BY GOLD. IT NEVER GETS OLD. BECAUSE I'M RICH LIKE ME. (MORE) 13.
CROESUS (Continued) WHICH MAKES ME MORE HAPPY THAN ANYONE ELSE YOU KNOW AND I CAN'T HELP BUT CROW. IF I WANT IT I BRING IT HOME. SET IT NEXT TO MY ROYAL THRONE. LOOK IT OVER AND KNOW IT'S MINE ALL THE TIME. IT'S SO FINE! I'VE FOUND HAPPINESS COMES WITH MANY PRICE TAGS. NOT EVERYTHING WILL COST THE SAME. BUT IF IT MAKES MY LAND CONTENTED THEN WHO AM I TO BLAME? ALL MY ARMIES ARE INVINCIBLE. THEY'RE THE STRONGEST TROOPS AROUND. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING A SOLDIER NEEDS TO BEAT THEIR RIVALS TO THE GROUND! ALL MY SUBJECTS ARE TROUBLE FREE THEY DON'T LACK FOR ANYTHING. ANY DAY YOU ASK YOU'LL HEAR THEM SAY THEY'RE VERY GLAD I'M THEIR KING! SOLON (sings) OH, HE ACTS SO UNSOUND. HE'S SO DELUDED. HE'S HEADED FOR A FALL. THALES (sings) HE THROWS MONEY AROUND, NO COST EXCLUDED. THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL. CROESUS (sings) RICH LIKE ME. GEE, IT'S GREAT TO BE RICH LIKE ME. IT'S WHAT EVERYONE WANTS TO BE. THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS SO PLAIN TO SEE... I'M ROLLING IN TALENTS LIKE EVERYONE WANTS TO BE. RICH LIKE ME. THEY ALL WANT TO BE... GREEK CHORUS (sings) RICH! CROESUS (sings) SLAVES AND CITIZENS, REFUGEES! THEY ALL WANT TO BE... 14.
THALES AND SOLON (sings) RICH! CROESUS (sings) FROM THE MOUNTAINS OUT TO THE SEAS THEY ALL WANT TO BE... GREEK CHORUS (sings) RICH! RICH! RICH! CROESUS (sings) I'LL GO DOWN IN HISTORY! GREEK CHORUS, THALES, SOLON (sings) WE ALL WANT TO BE... ALL (sings) RICH LIKE ME! CROESUS (sings) R-I-C-H... JUST LIKE ME!