202 Feiner Snippet.Pdf

In his seminal work, Mindfulness: A Jewish Approach, my esteemed Talmid, Dr. Jonathan Feiner, has pioneered a breakthrough in the field of Jewish Torah Psychology. By developing a system of Torah based mindfulness, Dr. Feiner has given the Jewish psychologist and patient tools with which to achieve complete emotional health using mindfulness in a totally acceptable Torah way. This in itself is a vitally important contribution to our community. But, more than that, the book is a must read for every Torah Jew who can learn an incredible amount of Torah, Musar, and Hashkafa so necessary for spiritual growth in our daily lives and for coping with life’s challenges. There are wonderful exercises for us to implement these concepts as well. I therefore highly recommend this book for all to read, study, and to use as a vital guide to achieve a healthy Torah life. With blessing for health and Torah, Rabbi Hershel Reichman Rosh Yeshiva, RIETS Table of Contents Foreword . .XI Acknowledgments . XVIII Introduction . .1 PART I Foundations Chapter 1: What Is Mindfulness? . .11 Chapter 2: Judaism and Mindfulness — Meeting Points . .18 Chapter 3: The Beginner’s Mind . .31 Chapter 4: Discovering the Self . .38 Chapter 5: Being and Doing — Part I. .44 Chapter 6: Being and Doing — Part II . .52 PART II The Value of Being Present Chapter 7: Mindful Relationships . .63 Chapter 8: Patience and Tolerance . .72 Chapter 9: FOMO and Contentment . .79 Chapter 10: Self-Regulation . .84 Chapter 11: Can You Be Too Mindful? . .92 IX X Mindfulness PART III Meaning in the Now Chapter 12: Mindful of God’s World . .99 Chapter 13: Mindfulness and Mitzvos . 109 Chapter 14: Mindfulness and Prayer . 116 Chapter 15: Mindfulness and Talmud Torah . 130 PART IV Looking Inward Chapter 16: Teshuvah . 141 Chapter 17: Quiet . 149 Chapter 18: Authenticity and Wholeness . 156 Chapter 19: Faith and Humility . 164 Chapter 20: Rabbi Akiva — A Mindful Model . 173 Conclusion . 179 P A R T I Foundations CHAPTER 1 What Is Mindfulness? common definition of mindfulness is the process of attending to present-moment experience in a nonjudg- mental way.1 Or, to put it simply, one author noted that A the essence of mindfulness is to “notice X.” The “X” we are noticing can be anything in the present moment: bodily sensations, a thought, a flower, or a loved one.2 However, to convey the essence of mindfulness, we must move beyond words. It must be experienced. Therefore, try to set aside five minutes for the following exercise. You may be tempted to merely read the following paragraph or jump to the next idea. Notice that temptation. Notice the desire to move forward and the difficulty in slowing down. Try to contain the innate desire to “accomplish” or 1 Scott R. Bishop, Mark Lau, Shauna Shapiro, Linda Carlson, Nicole D. Anderson, James Carmody, Zindel V. Segal, et al., “Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition.” Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 11, no. 3 (2004): 230–241. In addition to the operational definition of mindfulness, Lee Baer and his colleagues at the University of Kentucky conceptualized five different components of mindfulness: the ability to observe experience, describe, detach, love oneself, and act mindfully. 2 Russ Harris, ACT Made Simple: Second Edition (New Harbinger, 2019), 40–41. 11 12 Mindfulness finish. Try to spend a few minutes paying attention to what is occurring in this moment. Try to pay attention to your current experience. Let’s begin by observing the breath. Notice how it goes in and out. Bring your attention to your diaphragm while you breathe in and out. Notice the way the air feels entering and leaving your body. See if you can stay with the breath for a minute. Next, try to pay attention to other areas of your body. Slowly, observe each body part from you heart to your toes. Notice if there are any specific areas of discomfort. The goal of this exercise is not to get rid of any discomfort — it is merely to notice what is occurring. If you are experiencing tension somewhere in the body, see if you can pay a little more attention to it. Notice if the sensation changes or moves when you are more aware of it. Next, see if you can shift your attention to noticing the different sounds in the room. Most of these sounds were occurring before you paid direct attention to them, yet, upon slowing down and noticing them, they become more profound. Similarly, whatever we are paying attention to will usually become more profound as we notice it more. After a minute of observing sounds, try to notice a different noise. Try to observe the noise of the mind — your thoughts. Imagine there is a cloud above your head containing your thoughts. Notice the stream of thoughts as they flow through your mind. Notice how certain thoughts may have an emotional charge. As certain thoughts show up, you may feel different in your body. There is no “correct” way to do this exercise. This exercise is about sitting and noticing. If your mind wanders and you stop noticing, that is OK; gently and compassionately, bring your attention back. Note: Although mindfulness can result in relaxation, this is not the goal. It is not a relaxation exercise; it is an awareness exercise. In fact, there may even be moments of discomfort when doing such an exercise because it can make you more aware of your unpleasant thoughts and sensations. As we will soon discuss, this does not defeat the purpose of the exercise. What Is Mindfulness? 13 After practicing the above exercise, you may ask: What is the point of this? The simple answer is that there is considerable research demonstrating the many benefits of mindfulness, such as managing depression and anxiety, enhancing relationship satisfaction, and improving control of emotional reactivity.3 Indeed, mindfulness is helpful. However, why is it helpful? There is no definitive answer, but we can explore possible mechanisms. MINDFULNESS OFFERS DISTANCE Being mindful assists in not taking thoughts too literally. For most of life, we have become accustomed to trusting the mind. For example, if the mind says, “This person doesn’t like me,” we can easily believe the thought — even if it’s not true. We shouldn’t always trust our thoughts. The mind can distort reality. As I was teaching one of my daughters how to ride a bike, I ini- tially held on to the back of the bike and eventually let go. Without realizing that I’d already let go, she said, “Don’t let go, I can’t ride without you.” Even as she was saying that she cannot ride without me, she was riding without me. The mind can tell us we cannot do something, and we can still do it. Upon being mindful of thoughts, we obtain a distance that en- ables us to view them more objectively. We can recognize that our thoughts are not necessarily reflective of reality. Holding thoughts and feelings in awareness prevents them from controlling us. For example, one person may be thinking, “I am such a failure and cannot succeed at anything.” In contrast, someone else may say, “Right now I am having the thought, I am a failure. This thought shows up every now and then, but I don’t need to listen to it.” The latter is able to notice the thought without being consumed by it. 3 Davis and Hayes, “What Are the Benefits of Mindfulness?” Psychotherapy 48, no. 2 (2011): 198. 14 Mindfulness This idea is beautifully described by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik. He writes: When emotion is raised to the level of experience, we gain the upper hand or control over our own emotions. We acquire the freedom to integrate feelings or to disown them, putting them at a distance from us.4 The very awareness of thoughts and emotions creates a distance between us and our experience. Developing this distance decreases emotional reactivity and frees us from the control of thoughts and feelings. When mindful, we are saved from drowning in the waves of the sea of emotions. We are able to compassionately notice the waves from the safety of the shore. As you read this, try to take a moment and notice the mind. Notice where it is going. Notice how quickly we are pulled into the waves of the mind. INCREASING ATTENTION TO THE PRESENT MOMENT A second explanation of how mindfulness improves well-being can be explained with the following exercise. Look at the palm of your hand. See if you can notice the different shades of colors, the lines in your hand, the lines within the lines, and any other interesting features. Observe how something as simple as the hand can be so beautiful. As you were observing your hand, were you engulfed in worries? Were you thinking about your life struggles? Most people report that when they are observing their hand, they are not absorbed in their painful thoughts and feelings — they are absorbed in their hand. 4 Joseph B. Soloveitchik, Out of the Whirlwind: Essays on Mourning, Suffering and the Human Condition (KTAV Publishing House, 2003), vol. 3, p. 168. What Is Mindfulness? 15 When we fully attend to the present moment, the other noises of life don’t take up as much space; they may still be there, but they are not as consuming. Additionally, being present will usually lead to greater efficiency in whatever we are doing and also increase our enjoyment in the current moment. For example, when I am more present with my children, I will be a better father and I will also enjoy the time more.

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