Culture Shock Is a Five-Session Interactive God Who Wants to Down to Save It Is the Same the God Who Made the World and Came School and Your Relationships

By Julie Hiramine with Generations of Virtue Published by Standard Publishing, Cincinnati, Ohio www.standardpub.com

Printed in: United States of America Acquisitions editor: Robert Irvin Project Editor: Laura Derico Cover design: Scott Ryan Interior design: Thinkpen Design, Inc., www.thinkpendesign.com

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scrip- ture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified® Bible. Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org) All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (The Mes- sage) are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation. Copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

ISBN 978-0-7847-3305-9

16 15 14 13 12 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Contents

Start Here ...... 5 part 1: Cinderella Lied, Superman Died. . . . . 7 part 2: Brace for Impact...... 34 part 3: The Popularity Contest...... 55 part 4: Fearless Purity...... 80 part 5: Escaping Normal ...... 105

About Generations of Virtue ...... 138

5 ✩ ✯ START HERE ✯ - Here ✯ Here ✯ Start kim the magazine racks, flip on the TV, or make a few clicks on the Internet and few clicks on the Internet or make a on the TV, racks, flip kim the magazine perversion. All obscenity, it. Hypersexuality, in the face with you get smacked of toler directly at you. Add in the world’s definitions aggressively marketed ance, acceptance, spirituality, and truth and the lines between right and wrong and the lines between right and wrong and truth ance, acceptance, spirituality,

Riding the waves of life as a teen is tricky enough if you only have to keep up with keep up with have to life as a teen is tricky enough if you only Riding the waves of you to take teen event designed to empower Culture Shock is a five-session interactive God who wants to down to save it is the same The God who made the world and came school and your relationships. Dealing with peer pressure, gossip, technology, and gossip, technology, Dealing with peer pressure, school and your relationships. And somehow in the makes those waves a whole lot stormier. media’s constant flow created you’ve been what supposed to discover who you are and middle of this you are water? head above can you do all that and keep your to do. How in the world This survival guide find ourselves immersed in. a stand against the toxic tide we all now been now on. We’ve same roads of life you are was put together by people traveling the teens, some have of us are just out of our there; we know what it is to struggle. Some single. But we’re all married now and some are been on the road a bit longer; some are And we’re convinced on integrity and purity. dedicated to honoring God with lives built no matter what lies Satan tries to feed us. Truth, and one there is only one Way romance, relationships, has an amazing design for use you as part of his perfect plan. He Word, you’ll find yourself to stand firm on his and every aspect of your life. As you learn start getting pretty fuzzy. start getting pretty fuzzy. S O It’s time for us all to shock the It’s time for us tions of Virtue Team with our devotion to the one true God, who made us and wants to use us as the one true God, who made us and with our devotion to We hope the devotional thoughts, questions, and Bible studies in these pages in and Bible studies thoughts, questions, hope the devotional We you to step up. It’s time. It’s time for The Genera to www.generationsof over to keep in touch with our team? Head Have questions or want at visit our blog And, to stay in touch with other world changers, virtue.org for more. want to hear from you! We www.apuregeneration.com. part of his perfect plan. Let’s go! part of his perfect plan. strengthened by the unstoppable power of the cross and see your world changed by the changed by world and see your cross power of the the unstoppable by strengthened name. power of Jesus’ - you develop strate of purity and help about your pursuit you to be intentional encourage own or with a your use this book on intact. Whether you your integrity gies for keeping you are and what where honest about committed to being small group, be Culture Shock for you. plan in your life for you to take hold of God’s needs to happen next culture

6 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK ONE PART 7 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED Cinderella Lied, Superman Died

ongs, television, movies, online content. They have a massive impact on how we see ourselves and others, how we make decisions, and how we spend our time. We have allowed it to speak into our lives so loudly, that it has actually begun to shape who we are, the decisions we make and how we live. SNow, this wouldn’t be an issue if all media taught us was about Christianity or how to become more like Jesus. But we all know that its messages go far from that. We have to realize that our generation will continue to be influenced by the media machine until we understand, deep in our hearts, that our character is shaped by whomever or whatever we allow to enter into our minds. tsunami of can overtake you in a split second, and if you aren’t extremely careful, it can can overtake you in a split second, and

f you’re like us, you’ve probably had moments in your life when you’ve felt as though felt as though you’ve probably had moments in your life when f you’re like us, you’ve over and are like bad songs playing in your mind, They go away. some sins will never How much time do you spend everyday watching TV or a movie or on social on social or or a movie TV watching everyday do you spend much time How we still would by media, we were being impacted any idea how much If we had More often than not, it’s the media choices we make. The media More often than not, it’s the media choices We know. We’ve been there. We’ve know. We Just because he grew our awesome Savior. Most people forget a certain fact about seduction Renewing Your Mind Mind Your Renewing networking or chatting with friends? Now compare that amount with how much time you how much time you that amount with Now compare or chatting with friends? networking on your life? has the greater influence Who do you think God every day. spend with you to dive into challenging, we want it might be a little it so easily? Although consume tales and heroic behind the fairy the first time, the lies and see, maybe for this study feeds on. images our culture over again. You desperately want to break free, but each time you pray, you find yourself you find but each time you pray, desperately want to break free, over again. You is of times, we don’t want to look at what A lot if not hours, later. stumbling again days, lives. actually feeding this cycle of sin in our up in the first century doesn’t mean he wasn’t bombarded with sexual pressure. Just wasn’t bombarded with sexual up in the first century doesn’t mean he dripping with temp- mean his society wasn’t because there wasn’t MTV in his day doesn’t who sympathizes we have a high priest (that’s Christ) of God says that tation. The Word with our weaknesses. sweep you away and leave you with a long, hard swim back to the safety of the shore. sweep you away and leave you with a long, I

8 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” —Hebrews 4:15

Hebrews 4:15 reads, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with 9 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are— yet he did not sin.” From a human perspective, mind games seem to be impossible to overcome. But if we look at it from God’s eternal perspective, we can clearly see that every kind of sin has already been conquered! When Christ bore the weight of our sin on the cross, he took our choices, our guilt, and our shame and physically carried the consequences of our mistakes. By resurrecting as the Savior of the world, Christ paved the way for us to follow him. Yeah, it’s not easy. There are times when our lives are anything but God-honoring, and let’s face it: we all make mistakes. But as you continue to grow and change, with the help of the Holy Spirit, the hold sin has on you will become more and more weakened because of the cross of Christ. And you will be able to walk in a greater measure of freedom—freedom from even the kinds of sexual sins that we get tripped up and entan- gled in: unhealthy relationships, pornography, masturbation, hookups, sexting, and more. We’re talking about freedom from anything that holds you back from being more like Christ. The enemy hates freedom—almost as much as he hates light. Why light? Because light exposes the lies in every heart, mind, and situation. Light enables freedom. The light of God is an extremely powerful tool that allows us to see things as they really are. - These kinds of relationships will help expose the situation and set you free from being you free from and set will help expose the situation These kinds of relationships the next step is to start thinking the way JesusNow that you’re moving toward freedom, already thought do something that you haven’t Why? Because it is unlikely that you will One way that you can bring light into your life is through accountability. We encourage We accountability. into your life is through you can bring light One way that ut if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellow have light, we in the as he is light, in the we walk “But if esus, his Son, purifies us Son, purifies blood of Jesus, his and the one another, ship with sin” (1 John 1:7). from all about purity, honest be completely with whom you can at least one mentor you to find - masturba is watching, pornography, do when no one thought life, what you sex, your wiser than and older (usually) is someone of the same sex who is tion—all of it! A mentor of God. you and advise you in the things you, and who can counsel to someone who has a higher encourage you to be accountable a slave to lust. We run all of your a time, it might be a good idea to than you do. For standard for media This might sound extreme, but that your accountability partner. media intake through to and listening are watching give you a different take on what you person can probably your can take to bring you affecting you. This is a small step that and how it is possibly walk in more freedom. media choices into the light and help you Jesus is to allow him to renew our minds, day by day. does! The only way to begin thinking like or care to admit. Our thoughts control our actions, and this is often more serious than we realize less likely to go make out with that girl You’re out in your mind, in one way or another. aren’t going You through what it would be like. at a party if you haven’t already thought the scenario in married if you haven’t played out to have sex with that guy before you’re make a huge effort to is why we must your head. Our thoughts control our actions—that guard them.

10 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK Our thoughts Hebrews 4:12 says, “The word of God is alive control and active. Sharper than any double-edged our actions. sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” In order to combat the enemy’s lies about lust and to begin renewing your mind, you have to take the Bible at its word. The Bible claims it is sharper

than any two-sided sword, so let’s start using it as the weapon it is! 11 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED

Sword Fighting One of the most beneficial things you can do is to memorize Scripture that speaks to your struggles. Here are some examples:

Guys, let’s say you’re at the mall, and Girls, you’re hanging out with a big you walk by this store with lingerie ads group of friends on Friday night. After a plastered across the front window. Yeah, movie, you’re all tired and heading home. it is really tempting to look, but you’re The guy you’ve had a crush on for, like, committed to keeping yourself pure. ever, asks if he can drive you home. You Now would be a great time to repeat Job are seriously tempted to consider, but 31:1—“I made a covenant with my eyes also know that, well, you will be seriously not to look lustfully at a young woman”— tempted. Enter: Matthew 6:13. “Lead us and then book it out of there! Don’t hang not into temptation, but deliver us from the out around that area—look away and walk evil one.” If you have friends with you, ask away! If you allow those thoughts to dwell for a ride home. If there is no one with you, and linger, you will stumble, both in the call a parent or trusted adult to drive you moment and later on that night. home. It isn’t worth putting yourself in a compromising situation just for a conve- nient drive home with your crush.

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the your your your your your The Holy Spirit is so eager to help you break free from any hold the enemy may break free from any hold the enemy may The Holy Spirit is so eager to help you And anywhere else you look all the time! Lately your thought life has been slightly less than pure. OK, a lot less. You get to get OK, than pure. less been slightly life has your thought Lately less. You a lot when it comes to you Scripture, it’s amazing how quickly Once you begin memorizing ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ have placed on you through lust—all you have to do is ask for his help! Remember, you have to do is ask for his help! Remember, have placed on you through lust—all Matthew 19:26)! O with God all things are possible ( thinking about that guy or girl you really like, and things go way too far in your head. You in your head. You far things go way too you really like, and that guy or girl thinking about for so long you aren’t it you’ve indulged from coming, but to stop the thoughts really want brothers and sisters, 4:8: “Finally, Memorize Philippians to put on the brakes. sure how whatever is lovely, pure, whatever is whatever is right, is true, whatever is noble, whatever about such things.” praiseworthy—think is excellent or is admirable—if anything whatever on you memorize, try putting Bible verses help you need it. To ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

12 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 13 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED “But godliness What did the writer, Paul, mean by “great gain”? mean by “great gain”? Paul, What did the writer, Have you noticed that many of the things the world tells us we need only leave us temporarily many of the things the world tells us we need Have you noticed that How much does media affect your self-image? Think about how you view your body shape, your how you view your Think about self-image? does media affect your How much complexion, the car you drive, the phone you have, the clothes you wear, and the people you hang and the people you clothes you wear, phone you have, the the car you drive, the complexion, to be someone other you to “be perfect” or culture puts on you deal with the pressure with. How do really are? than who you What do you think you gain by being content? with contentment is great gain.” with contentment 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss satisfied and always waiting for the next best thing? 1 Timothy 6:6 says, Timothy 6:6 says, waiting for the next best thing? 1 satisfied and always Check out James 4:4. Why do you think you can’t be a friend of the world and a friend of God of God and a friend of the world be a friend you can’t do you think 4:4. Why out James Check at the same time? Have you ever tried to both fulfill the world’s expectation of you and follow God’s and follow of you expectation the world’s to both fulfill ever tried Have you same time? at the How did that work out? life at the same time? plan for your Read Romans 12:1, 2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4, 5. What do these verses tell 2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4, 5. What Read Romans 12:1, to renew your thinking? you about the ability My Journal Journal My 3 .

14 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 15 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED Jot down more thoughts you can use to renew your mind: to renew can use you thoughts more Jot down Make a decision: all of that stuff is cool, but I Make a decision: all of that stuff is cool, but Man, this kind of ad makes so many people Man, this kind of ad makes Hang around your house for two days, your Hang around your house I look nothing like that guy and I’ll never get a like that guy and I’ll I look nothing don’t need it. I’m happy enough as it is. Besides, don’t need it. I’m happy enough as it is. Besides, tomorrow everyone will be crazy over something else, right? stumble. It’d be cool to be built like that guy, but I be built like that guy, stumble. It’d be cool to at this junk. don’t need to be looking girl like that. I can’t stand my body. Whatever. my body. girl like that. I can’t stand head mostly stuck in your computer and video sigh games. Whenever your parents are around, deeply and mutter complaints about how ancient your phone/watch/computer/insert-gadget- here is. c . d . c . d . Are You? Are Guy Which Which Go off in anger to the world in your next blog Go off in anger to the world in your next blog This is so stupid. Those two don’t have This is so stupid. Those Blow everything you’ve saved since you Blow everything you’ve Man, I’ve got to get myself looking like that to get myself looking Man, I’ve got You and some of the guys go to the movies to see the sequel to that spy flick with that awesome guys go to the movies to see the sequel to and some of the You You’re flipping through a magazine at the dentist’s office and you can’t seem to get your eyes off to get your eyes off and you can’t seem at the dentist’s office through a magazine flipping You’re this one ad, featuring a hottie wearing almost nothing and this chiseled dude looking like he could looking like he could this chiseled dude almost nothing and featuring a hottie wearing this one ad, think: Mount Everest. You bench-press b . a . 2 . b . a . 1 . Quiz: Quiz: post: “People are so materialistic; it drives me post: “People you crazy! What about the starving kids in Africa, selfish idiots?!?” - started working last year to get that latest iSome thing. anything to do with cologne! guy. If I’m ever going to have a girlfriend, I better If I’m ever going to have a girlfriend, guy. NOW! get myself to the gym special agent. But now you’re feeling like you would be a lot happier if you could have a phone like you’re feeling like you would be a lot happier special agent. But now do you do? What and all that other stuff. he does and a laptop

16 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 17 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED

I’m not going to waste any more time to waste any more I’m not going do that if I ever had any friends. do that if I I would so watching these people destroy themselves. watching these people to cause some serious Their choices are going damage later. c . d . Those fools are all going to get an STD and Those fools are all going The first chance I get to live life like that, I’m I get to live life The first chance Lately you’ve been watching that teen reality show with all those hotties living the life in the Big life in the Big living the hotties with all those reality show that teen watching you’ve been Lately Apple. Their morals are, um—OK, Their morals Apple. with filled are usually and their nights morals, have any they don’t starting to get You’re less weird it seems. more you watch it, the But the cheap beer. hookups and think: into it. You So how much does what you see and hear really influence you? what you see and hear really influence So how much does b . pp. 20-21. Check out the key on a . 3 . end up dying at about thirty, I just know it. They thirty, end up dying at about get for being so reckless. deserve whatever they there. Bible schmible. That God stuff is for, like, is for, schmible. That God stuff there. Bible my grandparents. Make a decision: that dream life is cool, but Make a decision: that dream life is cool, but OMGosh this is so inappropriate. Put OMGosh this is so inappropriate. some Mope around your house for two days Mope around your house I look nothing like her. Great. Ugh. I can’t Great. Ugh. like her. I look nothing I was happy before, and I’ll keep being happy I was happy before, and I’ll keep being happy no one ever got the perfect And besides, now. guy because she wore designer heels, right? clothes on, people! stand my body! just be stuck with ugly thinking that you’ll always guys and cheap clothes. Whenever your parents are around, sigh deeply and whine about how your clothes are so last year. c . d . c . d . Are You? Are Girl Which Which Vent to the world in your next blog post: Vent stupid. Those clothes don’t even This is so stupid. Those clothes Blow your entire savings account at an Blow your entire savings have to look like that girl. If I’m ever going like that girl. If I’m ever I so have to look You and a group of friends go to the movies to see the newest chick flick with that amazingly go to the movies to see the newest chick and a group of friends You You’re flipping through a magazine at the dentist’s office and you can’t seem to get your eyes off to get your eyes off and you can’t seem at the dentist’s office through a magazine flipping You’re this latest and greatest fashion barely covering the body of a stick-thin, gorgeous model. You think: model. You gorgeous of a stick-thin, covering the body greatest fashion barely this latest and b . a . 2 . b . a . 1 . Quiz: “People are so superficial; it drives me crazy! “People What about the starving kids in Africa, guys?!?” incredibly expensive boutique. You send your You incredibly expensive boutique. friend a photo of your favorite new outfit: “Even to if I haven’t found the love of my life, I’m going look GOOD while waiting!” look good on her! to get a date with the most popular guy in school, with the most popular to get a date a serious diet. I better start gorgeous guy and stunning starlet with the equally stunning wardrobe. You start feeling pretty bad start You starlet with the equally stunning wardrobe. gorgeous guy and stunning anyway? What do you do? where is your knight in shining armor, about your own life. I mean,

18 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 19 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED

I’m not going to waste any more time to waste any more I’m not going do that if I ever had any friends. do that if I I would so watching these people destroy themselves. watching these people to cause some serious Their choices are going damage later. c . d . Those fools are all going to get an STD and Those fools are all going The first chance I get to live life like that, I’m I get to live life The first chance Lately you’ve gotten into watching a popular teen reality series featuring beach bums and bathing and bathing beach bums featuring reality series teen a popular into watching you’ve gotten Lately beauties living the life. Their morals are, um—OK, morals are, life. Their living the beauties nights are and their any morals, don’t have they You’re weird it seems. you watch it, the less But the more cheap beer. with hookups and usually filled think: into it. You starting to get So how much does what you see and hear really influence you? what you see and hear really influence So how much does b . pp. 20-21. Check out the key on a . 3 . end up dying at about thirty, I just know it. They thirty, end up dying at about get for being so reckless. deserve whatever they there. Bible schmible. That God stuff is for, like, is for, schmible. That God stuff there. Bible my grandparents. People want to be told the truth; they know when someone is lying to them. You aren’t someone want to be told the truth; they know when someone is lying to them. You People You live in the moment, you’re the life of the party, someone people love to be around. Don’t someone you’re the life of the party, live in the moment, You OK . . . our guess is that you’re pretty tough. You don’t like it when people mess around, screw up, don’t like it when people mess around, You OK . . . our guess is that you’re pretty tough. This conviction will help you in the future to hang onto or waste their lives. Those things are good. and mercy so you’re going to have to work to keep a deep sense of compassion your faith. However, you’re not just “all hammer and no heart.” just to stay cool with people. Don’t be surprised if who will sugarcoat the truth or water it down you may have that gift. But be sure to always point people seek you out for advice and answers; can’t do it alone! them to Christ and his Word—you Mostly Bs: As: Mostly you want during says you can do whatever in our culture today that super popular belief There is this blow their youth But when people life later. or “serious” and then live a “Christian” your teen years finally emotionally) when they’re mentally, crippled (spiritually, and sex, they’re on booze, partying, just a life headed in a dangerous direction; there’s is of self-gratification ready to grow up. A path pain and heartache ahead. they people to Christ . . . there’s a good chance Use it to point for yourself. waste that gift by living Because people like you and that they want. Help others to pursue Jesus. see something in you have to be accountable for how that also means that they watch you. You want to be around you, and actions, you will impact can reflect Christ (not the world) in your speech others see you. If you people in a big way! Quiz Key Quiz

20 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 21 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED - with all your heart and lean ord But remember, always gain your confidence and strength from Jesus, not from your own under always gain your confidence and strength from Jesus, not from your own But remember, If God hasn’t allowed certain things to come into your life, be thankful! He’s probably saving you certain things to come into your life, be thankful! If God hasn’t allowed A few thoughts from our team: of guy or girl you are, God has designed you according to his awesome no matter what kind Remember, make you feel guilty or stupid; we wrote them to help you plan and purpose. These quizzes aren’t here to So be encouraged, and spend some time and take a see some areas in all of our lives that need adjusting. never know what you might find out! solid look at how media affects you. You Mostly Ds: to life’s tough ques- to find answers that you’re seeking God and his Word Rock on! It’s awesome then He will give you every answer you need and asking! knocking! Keep seeking! Keep tions. Keep out sometimes for being different, Our guess is that although you may stand some (Matthew 7:7-11)! by the opinion of the crowd or aren’t moved light to those around you. You you’re an unmistakable hope and strength in God. what the popular kids are doing; you find your standing. He’ll never lead you down the wrong path! “Trust in the L path! “Trust standing. He’ll never lead you down the wrong ostly Cs: Mostly “We he said, was mentoring, whom he Timothy, young friend, wrote to his Paul the apostle When food and clothing, out of it. But if we have we can take nothing into the world, and brought nothing says for what the world Maybe you’ve been longing 6:7, 8). with that” (1 Timothy we will be content living could be showing your life. How you’re a huge hole in that longing has created you need, and or emptiness James 4:2, 3) or sadness you want—check out (you can’t have what itself in anger 10:10). of life—check out John the whole meaning (you’re missing take his place in our hearts; he God’s not about to let someone or something from a mess of trouble. (Exodus 20:5). He may be taking the Bible says that God is a jealous God fights for us. Remember: desires. Be encouraged! Get can take center stage, instead of your own away distractions so he plan for you! He has your best in mind. fired up that he has a not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” not on your own understanding; in all your ways (Proverbs 3:5, 6). Guard the Gate “No music from enerations of Virtue has an home, cell phones, Gawesome internship program and/or laptops.” that runs during the spring and summer of every year, for guys and girls ages seventeen to twenty-one. These youth travel with us all over the U.S., serving and ministering for six intense weeks. One of the rules we have for interns is: “No music from home, cell phones, and/or laptops.” Now before you freak out, let us explain. 22 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK See, when you’re with us on the road, we want you to be able to be totally focused, not thrown off course by your usual distractions. It’s a great way to get your attention on the task at hand and let the worries from your hometown drift away for six amazing weeks. But you don’t have to join our internship program to go on a media fast. (Although we’d love to see you there! Check out www.generationsofvirtue.org for more info.) If you’re having a hard time keeping your head pure, try taking a media fast on your own, and watch God work! Images you allow into your mind have a tendency to stick with you. Our brains were designed to capture and keep information, which is why it’s important to guard the gates of our eyes and ears. Did the last movie you saw send images into your mind that you can’t seem to shake? The truth is that when we watch a movie or television show, view something online, look at a magazine, or read a book with inappropriate images and scenes, our thoughts dwell on those images. Are the things you’re putting into your mind encouraging you to pursue God? Analyze the fruit of the media you take in and ask yourself a simple question: does this hinder me or does it help me? On the other side, media can be used as a tremendous influence for good in our lives. Movies and music with strong messages can be vastly helpful; it’s all about choosing the right ones. Think of your media intake like a diet. Diets only work with a healthy balance, good proportions, and self-control! The guys and girls on our team really love to watch movies together, but we’re always careful to pick movies that won’t cause us to stumble. Two hours of entertainment is

not worth searing your brain with permanent, harmful imagery. However, picking out a 23 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED great movie with a powerful message can start awesome conversations and leave you really thinking! The same thing is true with music. Music has a way of weaving its way into every aspect of our lives like no other form of media can. Have you ever sat there, enjoying a song, and all of a sudden—BAM!—you actually listen to the words? Often, popular songs have a cool beat but spew out terrible lyrics. And whether we like it or not, those lyrics are going into our minds. Now, maybe you’re sitting there thinking, Yeah, so what? Who cares about the lyrics? It’s not like I’m going to go DO that stuff, I just like the song! Stick with us a minute. Remember what we told you earlier: Whatever media you allow into your life will directly influence the way you think and the choices that you make. Think about it a sec! All of these musicians, producers, Does this and artists have a message they are trying to convey to you. They sing, write, and record those songs for hinder me a reason. Why? Because they want you to buy into or does it their message. help me? O So when you listen to a song, that song goes into your mind. Your mind retains it, retains mind mind. Your into your song goes that to a song, you listen So when really want those you right now—do to, maybe even what you are listening Think about because that’s what our incredible, God-made minds are designed to do. You may do. You are designed to God-made minds what our incredible, because that’s brain. in your song—but it is still recorded forget about that temporarily in your head circle lyrics that typically head all day? If the around in your lyrics running If Jesus uncomfortable? that make you at church, would on a big screen were projected to just a few questions are you, what would he think about it? These was sitting there with talk about all of this again later. get you thinking. We’ll

24 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 25 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED Based on this verse, what ways can you think of to guard the gate? what ways can you think of Based on this verse, gate. How can you keep you let the enemy past your Write about a time again? that from happening “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is whatever is whatever is true, and sisters, brothers “Finally, is lovely, pure, whatever whatever is is right, noble, whatever praiseworthy— is excellent or anything is admirable—if whatever 4:8). (Philippians such things” think about My Journal Journal My

ecently I (Julie) had a conversation with two teens who believed themselves to be two teens who believed themselves ecently I (Julie) had a conversation with met “the one.” While positive they had madly in love. At fifteen, they were absolutely

What artists, movies, television shows, Internet sites do you need to cut out of your life? television shows, Internet sites do you need What artists, movies, How can you be held accountable for your choices about movies, music, television, and movies, music, television, for your choices about be held accountable How can you the Internet? the Internet? that could be possible (though not probable), I couldn’t help but ask what had drawn I couldn’t help but ask that could be possible (though not probable), After many discussions the bottom line became clear; their them so close together. headed toward sex. physical relationship was on the slide and Practice Self-Control Self-Control Practice 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss R

26 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 27 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED

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28 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 29 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED - - It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the of life develops out of trying to get your own It is obvious what kind and cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental time: repetitive, loveless, gods; and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket emotional garbage; frenzied loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming- magic-show religion; paranoid love or be loved; wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to yet-never-satisfied the lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; divided homes and divided and uncon everyone into a rival; uncontrolled vicious habit of depersonalizing trollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on. trollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. this If you use your freedom know. This isn’t the first time I have warned you, you God’s kingdom. you will not inherit way, He brings gifts into our lives, much But what happens when we live God’s way? like affection for others, the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things develop a willingness to stick with things, a We exuberance about life, serenity. that a basic holiness perme sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not ates things and people. We and direct our energies wisely. needing to force our way in life, able to marshal If you can learn now to be a good servant to the people God has placed in your life your life in placed God has the people servant to a good now to be can learn If you life living a selfish the differences between ) lays out 5:19-23 (The Message Galatians now, someday your spouse will receive a very special gift. And even if you don’t plan on if you don’t even a very special gift. And will receive someday your spouse now, be a bold will prepare you to your practice of self-control anytime soon, getting married you. his Spirit gives self-discipline and power and will, using the love tool of God’s as well to Bible versions these verses in other free to check out for God. (Feel and living Read it here: increase your understanding.) Take a serious (and possibly Take his week we want to challenge you. This week we want to challenge During a really difficult and lonely time, God started speaking to Sara’s heart about heart to Sara’s and lonely time, God started speaking During a really difficult other fast from you can can be about more than just food; But keep in mind, fasting would normally do. bet! Sara had to refrain from a lot of the stuff she it hard? You Was of media left you was? Has your consumption Are you having the same problem Sara painful) eval of your media choices: the music you listen to, websites you visit, TV music you listen to, websites painful) eval of your media choices: the you? What and all media! What’s helping shows you watch, books you read—any that you’ve been that is feeding you lies needs to be tossed out? Get rid of anything fasting. In case you’re not familiar with it, fasting is a biblical concept. People who are People concept. not familiar with it, fasting is a biblical fasting. In case you’re When closer to God. drawing certain things (usually food) as a way of fasting refrain from for him. He often need we are reminded of our moment-by-moment we deny ourselves, those times. speaks powerfully during movies, from all romantic fast made a commitment: she was going to things, too! So Sara when she year, After that one whole year! And you know what? music, and books for She fasted until the song, it didn’t bother her! would watch a cute movie or hear a love discontentment starved to death. her keep her commitment. But God was so faithful to her! He helped Try a media fast! totally unsatisfied? Cool story: Sara, one of the girls on our team, grew up as a total romantic. Movies, up as a total romantic. on our team, grew Sara, one of the girls Cool story: got her really that Problem is, all of loved them all. name it. She books, music—you movies, listen of those watch one Every time she would with her own life. discontented totally down feeling she’d walk away one of those books, songs, or read to one of those own love life. about her Challenge

30 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK believing. Clearing out the junk that’s been in your way will help you walk in so much more freedom! We all want to be victorious warriors against the enemy. In the Old Testament, you can read about the Israelites and their many battles. (A great read is Joshua chapter 7.) The Israelites could not stand against their enemies until they removed the evil things from among them. If you want a thriving, passionate relationship with the God of the universe, O you’ll have to do the same! 31 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED

“Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out.” —G. K. Chesterton Have you done your evaluation of your media choices yet? Use this space to jot down ideas for of your media choices yet? Use this Have you done your evaluation Take a minute and decide: what’s your commitment to God going to be this week? Get together going to be this week? commitment to God decide: what’s your a minute and Take with a friend or accountability partner and share this commitment with them. Why do this? Because Why do this? Because with them. and share this commitment or accountability partner with a friend you accountable. going to do, it helps hold what you are by telling someone 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss a show, song, story, or illustration that you could create to help others understand the message of or illustration that you could create to song, story, a show, this session.

32 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 33 ✩ CINDERELLA LIED, SUPERMAN DIED These are the things I’m still struggling with, that I need to wrestle in I’m still struggling with, that These are the things prayer over: These are the things that were most impacting to me from “Cinderella to me from were most impacting the things that These are Died”: Lied, Superman My Journal Journal My TWO PART 34 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK Brace for Impact

he media influx that is hitting our generation is astounding. We can’t go anywhere or do anything without encountering its constant presence, always tempting us with the greatest gadget or the newest, most impressive technology. Many of us spend more time in virtual reality than we do in our flesh- Tand-blood world. While this might not seem like a big deal now, it has huge implications for your future. Life exists in and thrives off of real relationships. But how, in this new era, are we supposed to make healthy choices regarding technology and connect with people on a real, relational level? Parts of this study might be a little uncomfortable. We’ve found that we’re not so good at being subtle, so we’re just going to dive right in. Let’s get up close and personal. It’s 35 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT every- It wasn’t that many years ago that in order to It wasn’t that many years ago that in order

ecause of technology, we can go places and do things that even ten years ago we do things that even can go places and we technology, ecause of so many good at Generations of Virtue have seen We would’ve thought impossible!

But just like every other good thing, the use of communication devices and technology and technology devices good thing, the use of communication But just like every other is that advances in technology One of the benefits—and disadvantages—of But now? Unless someone peeks over your shoulder when you get online or grabs your shoulder when you But now? Unless someone peeks over Renewing Your Mind Your Renewing the best way for us all to see not just what needs to change, but what can be turned be turned can what but to change, what needs see not just us all to way for the best ready? You and kingdom of God. used for the glory around and thing is right at our fingertips. can be twisted by the enemy. That is why it’s vital to be aware of the dangers of porn, is why it’s vital to be aware of the dangers That enemy. can be twisted by the goal shows. The or violent social networking, and explicit trashy music, inappropriate also to use media to avoid harmful media but for all of us is to help each other not only advance God’s kingdom. things come about through media and technology. Millions of people have been exposed Millions of people have through media and technology. things come about satellite TV shows, and and posts, through music, blogs, Tweets to the message of Christ MP3 podcasts, through games. Christians are being discipled virtual churches in online messaging. resources, and text

look at porn or watch an R-rated movie, people had to do so in person. They had to go people had to do so in person. look at porn or watch an R-rated movie, were enforced. Or where age restrictions to an adult bookstore or movie theatre—places find that section—the part where kids were kept they had to walk into a video store and covered up. from browsing and explicit images were no one knows what kind of your MP3 player, one of your earbuds when you listen to B stuff you’re consuming. Technology allows us to ignore this consequence of our sin; it’s removed the I-don’t-want-to-be-seen-doing-that factor. And yet in all the most important ways, sin has the same effects it has always had. It has the same rotten fruit. We can do things in secret and “get away” with them, but that doesn’t mean we’ll escape all the consequences. Conse- quences are consequences, and God has designed them for a reason. Those images and lyrics stick in your mind and influence your thoughts long after you first absorb them. Did you know that the repeated act of viewing explicit images can even result in the rewiring of your brain in such a way that you become chemically addicted to the effects? 36 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK (Craig Gross and Steven Luff, Pure Eyes, 74, 78-79). Sometimes an unhealthy use of technology doesn’t even have to involve sexual content. Maybe you get sucked into trying to get to the next level of a game or watching your four favorite TV shows every night, so you end up spending eight hours a day in front of the TV. While it might seem fun at the time, you have to think—what else could you accomplish in that time? That’s a really long time, especially to spend on something as non-eternal as entertainment! If you had eight hours to give to God and God alone, what would you do with your time? “The eye is the The deal is simple: garbage in, garbage lamp of the body. out. If we watch bad movies or listen to If your eyes are trashy music on a daily basis, eventually we healthy, your whole will go out and try those very same things. body will be full Kind of scary, don’t you think? of light.” —Matthew 6:22 37 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT

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et ount eep guys nternet f ( I I virtue at you see our and right software G oping you review discover time able breakfast of K week you the C ere are a few tools we’ve found to help keep our brains on track. our brains help keep found to we’ve a few tools Here are ★ ★ ★ ★ What did you think about the idea that watching explicit shows can actually affect your brain? What did you think about the idea that watching If you participated in a Culture Shock event skit for “Brace for Impact,” which of the skits that you Culture Shock event skit for “Brace for Impact,” If you participated in a What points from this section stood out the most to you? Why? out the most to you? from this section stood What points Which of the tools to keep your brain on track do you think will be most helpful for you? Which of the tools to keep your brain on track 3 . 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss either performed or watched had the most impact for you? Why? How did it speak to you? had the most impact for you? Why? either performed or watched

38 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 39 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT Jot down some more ideas about how you can keep your brain on the ideas about how you can keep Jot down some more right track: Read Ecclesiastes 12:14, Luke 8:17, and Psalm 90:8. What do these verses do these verses 90:8. What Psalm Luke 8:17, and 12:14, Read Ecclesiastes really secret? Is anything ever we do “in secret”? the things tell us about My Journal Journal My Make It Count “Commit to the Lord whatever he way you spend your time determines you do, and he Thow you live your life. Crazy thought, we will establish know, but it’s true! Submit your time to God your plans.” and see what he does with it. —Proverbs 16:3 Open up about your struggles with time- wasting. Bringing all of our secrets into the light is the number one way to defeat the enemy. Maybe your struggle is with how much 40 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK time you spend on the Internet. Let’s say you spend . . . um . . . three hours every day on social networking sites. When you consider other things you could be doing with that time, does that seem a little excessive? We’re serious about you keeping a record of how you spend your time, so we’ve made a table that you can fill in this next week. We know that some things, like getting on the Internet or talking on your cell phone, are necessary for school, work, or life. But we encourage you to be honest and really evaluate how you spend your time on some of these well-known time-wasters. Use this record for the things you do with technology that are purely for entertainment reasons. However, the last column of this table is for keeping track of how much time you spend doing something super important: praying and reading your Bible. Journal your time for seven days—then total it all up. It’s an eye-opening exercise. 41 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT Praying/ Praying/ reading Bible Watching Watching TV/movies Reading Reading magazines gaming Listening Listening to music/ to music/ phone On the On the Surfing Surfing the Web networking Online social Online Day Day 7 Day 6 Day 5 Day 4 Day 3 Day 2 Day 1 Activity/

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ecord olunteer f R worship I your for your V ments M follow week learning . . . And these are only a few ideas that can advance God’s kingdom! . . . And these are only a few ideas that After you’ve kept the chart for a week, come back to it and think about where your time your where about and think back to it come for a week, the chart you’ve kept After How time count. your about how to make will get you thinking hope this exercise We to spread the podcasts and want know how to make your talents. Do you Think about Get cut an album. to talented musician. Use recording software Maybe you’re a really other ideas: Or try some of these ★ ★ ★ ★ is going. Are you surprised? is going. Are technology for good? the advantages of can you use your has placed on God or a message that news”) of Christ means “good gospel (gospel them! Start making heart? Awesome! know never music—you like-minded performers and make some together with some it. what could come of ★ ★ ★ ★

42 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 43 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT How do you feel about the way you use your time? What can you do to remind yourself to make the way you use your time? What can you How do you feel about Read 1 Corinthians 10:31. What are some creative ways you have used or could use technology you have used or could are some creative ways 10:31. What Read 1 Corinthians to build up the kingdom of God? to encourage other believers? the kingdom of God? to build up 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss better use of every hour? What do you dream of doing with your life? How will you make an impact make an impact How will you with your life? you dream of doing What do about your write or sketch your ideas and Brainstorm on your world? dreams here. hopes and My Journal Journal My

44 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 45 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT

et’s shift gears here a bit and address a heavier technology issue: pornography. pornography. issue: address a heavier technology here a bit and et’s shift gears it out, pornog- deliberately sought it accidentally or stumbled onto Whether you’ve addictions most frequently start from curiosity. addictions most

Maybe this has happened to you, and whether you’ve developed a habit of looking at a habit of looking to you, and whether you’ve developed Maybe this has happened industry worldwide pornography industry (“a 57 billion dollar Did you know that the that at this age this age group? Because they know do they target specifically, Why, Well, here’s a clue: if you want to avoid it, you have to be intentional. We work with We to be intentional. a clue: if you want to avoid it, you have here’s Well, affected by it. porn or not, you are and football, baseball, combined revenues of all the professional making more than the Eyes of Integrity, 21) Gross with Jason Harper, basketball teams in America,” from Craig You may be surprised to learn that every actually targets a very specific demographic? to off every eight- industry are interested in picking the people who drive the porn day, hands on. child (girl or boy—it doesn’t matter) they can get their twelve-year-old in the world and they’re interested children are curious—their brains are developing alongside their bodies are developing right outside their own place in life. And their a person between know that if they can snag minds. Plus, the people in this industry life. It’s a critical time likely have a customer for the ages of eight and twelve, they’ll very and exploring is forming new connections in the development of kids, when the brain Guard the Gate Gate the Guard

raphy is an in-your-face issue in our society. Sometimes it seems as if there is no way to as if there is no Sometimes it seems in our society. issue in-your-face raphy is an escape it. relationships to a few hours’ from deep, mentoring every year, thousands of teens porn, it’s we hear about thing all over the world, and if there’s one acquaintance at events that L ). (NLT This battle will most likely be the . he earnest prayer of a righteous person has of a righteous person has The earnest prayer Choose and read one of the books we’ve listed at the end of this study. listed at the end of this study. Choose and read one of the books we’ve Testimony after testimony about someone who has walked away from about someone who has after testimony Testimony Read up. ASAP Find an accountability partner Admit it. It’s sick, and it’s everywhere. But as a youth culture ready to be part of a revolution, ready to be part But as a youth culture it’s everywhere. It’s sick, and you can take have some practical steps pit of pornography? We Are you trapped in the this lifestyle points out that the person started by admitting the problem to someone. to someone. the problem that the person started by admitting this lifestyle points out your parents, a mentor, pastor, authority about this issue (your youth to someone in Talk other pray for each and 5:16: “Confess your sins to each other or others). Read James that you may be healed. thoughts and ideas that were previously closed off. Enter the porn industry—eager to industry—eager the porn Enter off. closed were previously that and ideas thoughts if They don’t care along the way. to destroy lives and not at all bothered make money or will have money as you have or married—as long female, underage, you’re male, you. the future—they want money in to turn the tide. we’re determined on track. to get your life back great power and produces wonderful results” great power and The point is that we all need help, and there is plenty of help if we look for it. there is plenty of help if we The point is that we all need help, and hardest thing you’ve ever fought against. Lust is not something to be taken lightly, and lightly, Lust is not something to be taken hardest thing you’ve ever fought against. and kick and flail— against it, it’s going to scream once you decide you’re going to fight going to need someone who is further along in the and try to tear you to pieces. You’re you look at, the you accountable to the things battle against lust and can honestly hold you should you make. Pray about the person thoughts you entertain, and the choices accountable to. This is who he wants you to be ask, and ask the Lord to provide exactly The only way get married. That’s not the solution. not a problem you can put off until you

46 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 47 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT But keep

—in one form or What is at the root of the addic- Do you have friends in your life you need to confront on Do you have friends if you stumble, because let’s face it, we all do. because let’s if you stumble, Get rid of anything you have that’s porn-related: bookmarks have that’s porn-related: bookmarks Get rid of anything you unless you deal with the real heart-issueunless you deal with the real of atch your influences. et’s get to the bottom of this thing. Let’s get to the bottom of this W Cut off your supply. Cut off your supply. on’t be discouraged Don’t be another. Is there someplace you’re not allowing the Lord to reach? Pray about this. Know you’re not allowing the Lord to reach? Is there someplace another. the issue of porn or sexual struggles? Don’t be afraid to walk away from the friendship if from the friendship away sexual struggles? Don’t be afraid to walk the issue of porn or or sisters as brothers them change. Be sure to convey that you love they aren’t willing to let him set them around to know Jesus and in Christ, and you really hope they come are causing you to to hang around them if they free. But it’s not your job or responsibility split up until things are settled. and then stumble. Encourage them to find accountability, out is to come clean. Remember, you didn’t get into porn overnight, and you won’t get and you overnight, into porn get you didn’t clean. Remember, to come out is intentional about life unless you’re you through your This will follow out of it overnight. . to be fought and won is a daily battle This it now. dealing with what’s behind your addiction, it will just pop up again what’s behind your addiction, tion? Where are you not allowing God to fulfill you? Are you looking to something else fulfill you? Are you looking tion? Where are you not allowing God to hurt? anxious? down when you’re stressed? to satisfy? Do you look to lust to calm you by turning to to avoid or at least slow down Is there a pain in your heart you’re trying pornography? Because running as fast as you possibly can toward Christ, and he will be faithful to walk you out to walk you out faithful and he will be can toward Christ, fast as you possibly running as of this addiction. to sites, saved images, magazines, friendships with the wrong crowd—we’re serious serious crowd—we’re magazines, friendships with the wrong to sites, saved images, of. to stumble than you might first think . There are more ways when we say anything has Whatever phone? remove the Internet capabilities from your Maybe you need to asked. questions sexually explicit content has to go. No given you access to O Look up Hebrews 4:12. Look up Hebrews 5:27-30 31:1 atthew ob J M ★ ★ ★ ★ 15:57 10:5 10:13 orinthians orinthians orinthians 2 C 1 C 1 C curious about porn—that’s good! We hope you read this hope you read you’re not curious about porn—that’s good! We let’s say Now, Fight temptation with the Sword of the Spirit. the Sword of with Fight temptation ★ ★ ★ Scripture is truly amazing. It has the power to transform your life one thought at a time. your life one the power to transform is truly amazing. It has Scripture need to erase, to you’re going in your mind that patterns and images have thought You mind fixed on to have your going to be tempted You’re going to be easy. and it’s not the is like in. Scripture images, but this is where the Bible comes those thoughts and on memo- When you’re tempted, work to perform brain surgery. scalpel that God uses and pull it out whenever the thoughts an index card in your pocket rizing Scripture. Keep Some the mind. battle of relevant Scriptures to help you fight this come. Ask God for with are: great verses to start ★ whole section anyway and realize that this issue affects everyone living in our modern- issue affects everyone living whole section anyway and realize that this is not just something that Pornography day culture, including you—even unintentionally. at other people. the way we treat and look captures the person viewing it, it also shapes Being the object of of women and children. It’s promoted terrible things in the treatment and put down. It’s just demeaned, torn apart, someone’s lust leads to being devalued, excitement. for some short-term not worth the long-term mental anguish that even if you give up porn, lust, masturbating . . . if you don’t deal with the root issue, the root issue, with deal you don’t . . . if masturbating lust, give up porn, if you that even else in your life. up somewhere it’ll just come ★ ★

48 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 49 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT How does pornography affect the way we look at people, especially women? Can you see ways How does pornography affect the way we look When do your thoughts tend to stray? Is there a certain time of day or a regular event that triggers tend to stray? Is there a certain time of day When do your thoughts In what ways do you struggle with keeping your thoughts pure? keeping your thoughts do you struggle with In what ways that pornography has influenced the way you or others view sexuality? How so? that pornography has influenced the way you 3 . 2 . Note: For these questions you should be in a discussion group of the same gender as yourself. group of the same should be in a discussion these questions you Note: For 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss lustful thoughts in your head? lustful thoughts in your Before God, this day, I choose to keep my eyes, heart, mind, and body pure. I choose to keep my Before God, this day, my purity, at any websites that would compromise I choose to avoid looking and my other explicit things. I choose to run to Christ including porn or any to walk in am struggling, and by God’s grace, I choose accountability when I freedom from this addiction. If you’re reading this study, chances are pretty good that you want to avoid becoming to avoid becoming good that you want chances are pretty this study, If you’re reading Share your covenant with your accountability partner as well. Share your covenant with your accountability addicted to porn—or if you’re already involved, that you want to get out. We strongly strongly out. We you want to get already involved, that porn—or if you’re addicted to of guide- list covenant—a a moment to write down a media purity suggest that you take can then post to. You to adhere your use of media that you promise lines and goals about to keep decision your or in your bedroom to help you remember these on your laptop pure. Here’s an example: your mind and eyes God created sex, which means it is a good thing. But when we throw in a worldly But when we throw it is a good thing. sex, which means God created of marriage, outside he gave us, outside the boundaries and take God’s gift perspective lives. of havoc in our another source his gift becomes My Journal Journal My

50 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 51 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT n idol is (An idol has redeemed Israel Israel has redeemed ord The idol of lust in your heart may feel impos- lust in your heart The idol of “For the L “For ): (NLT Idols in our lives often feel like gigantic mountains, like strongholds gigantic mountains, lives often feel like Idols in our eremiah 31:11 Jeremiah Because porn is so addicting, it often becomes like an idol to us. idol to us. like an becomes it often is so addicting, porn Because nothing more than something that we cling to, trust in, rely on, or in, rely on, or cling to, trust that we more than something nothing God.) put before Check out Jeremiah 29:13. What does that verse say to you? 29:13. What does that verse Check out Jeremiah sible to break away from, but just like God promised to save Israel, he will save you too. he will save Israel, from, but just like God promised to save sible to break away heart. of your rescue when you cry out to him with all He’ll come for your from those too strong for them.” too strong from those that are impossible to overcome. But take heart! Remember what the Lord promised the Remember what But take heart! to overcome. that are impossible Israel in When we trust in idols, when we allow them to take we allow them to take trust in idols, when When we hose who cling to worthless idols turn away turn away idols worthless to who cling “Those says: says: onah 2:8 Jonah od’s love for them.” from God’s love Which idols can you identify in your heart? Which idols can up residence in our hearts, we disrupt the flow of God’s Spirit in our lives. We forfeit his We forfeit lives. God’s Spirit in our disrupt the flow of in our hearts, we up residence we need to be That’s not the position idols over him. help when we choose supernatural to pray and some time Take need his help. absolutely We going to break free! in if we are life. about idols in your seek the Lord

52 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 53 ✩ BRACE FOR IMPACT

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ike tephen very actics S who tion E with found T M ★ ★ These are the things that were most impacting to me from this session: These are the things that were My Journal Journal My Great Reads Great pornography: found that will help in the fight against Good books we’ve ★ This week, find one way that you can use technology to advance God’s kingdom. God’s to advance you can use technology find one way that This week, find something recording an album, creating a blog, or making a podcast, Whether it’s own agenda. instead of your to further God’s kingdom you can do Challenge ★ or you. But He is iting for you. “God is wa hoping the altar, iting by not wa for a and talk drop by you’ll to iting for you while. He is wa in the battle.” rise up and engage e —Fred Stoeker, Every Man’s Battl These are the things I’m still struggling with, that I need to wrestle in wrestle to that I need with, struggling I’m still things are the These over: prayer

54 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK THREE PART 55 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST The Popularity Contest

or reasons unknown to humankind, at some point or another we all feel it—an all-consuming drive that leads us to do crazy things just to attain it. What is it? Popularity. So what’s the problem with that? Well, when our energies and efforts are Fpoured out on winning the popularity contest, we forfeit all the fun and benefit of just being ourselves. We forget who we are. And if there’s one thing we at GOV want you to get through this study, it’s this—WHO YOU ARE is precious. Your identity is valuable. It’s irreplaceable, actually. nd we know that in all things God works And we know that “ ). reads:

he problem with trying to be the best at everything and constantly competing with competing and constantly best at everything with trying to be the he problem us to do so or allow those around our own potential, is that we can’t fulfill each other

Jesus Christ is our example. There is no need to look around and compare. need to look around and Jesus Christ is our example. There is no How do you think your talents work together for the kingdom of God? Sometimes we God? Sometimes of talents work together for the kingdom How do you think your be any time to destiny and calling, there won’t If you focus on your own purpose and from your were put on this earth to be more like Tim “You The Bible doesn’t say, Romans 8:28 for the good of those who love him, who have been called those who love him, who have for the good of purpose.” according to his tend to think that God only uses people such as missionaries or pastors to accomplish pastors to accomplish or only uses people such as missionaries tend to think that God know that God can use you absolutely far from the truth. Do you his work—but that is If you’re creatively. Think worry about your talent being wasted. anywhere? So don’t willing, you’ll be used! Christ is the only each other apart. Remember: compare yourself with anyone else or tear all here for one We’re to. Everyone falls short. person you should be comparing yourself reason: to become more like Christ! in advance, and he chose them to God knew his people algebra class.” NO! It says, “For many brothers and be the firstborn among become like his Son, so that his Son would sisters” (Romans 8:29, NLT Renewing Your Mind Mind Your Renewing

either. Only you can fill the place God has designed for you to fit. If you’re busy trying to If you’re for you to fit. God has designed can fill the place Only you either. purposes. your own won’t be able to complete else’s role, you fill everyone T

56 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 57 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST “iron Kelsey and I (Kate) decided that we really did want to be close and have an and I (Kate) decided Kelsey Eventually, the issue was confronted face-to-face by our loving parents and mentors by by our loving parents and mentors by the issue was confronted face-to-face Eventually, were we that us to explained authorities wise These light. the into out behavior our bringing best” or “the one.” operating from a mind-set of trying to be “the and not step on friends today because we were able to ditch the attitude are GREAT We to get offended! Don’t get hurt by your each other to get to the top. Remember: refuse If they are good friends, and if they’re brave friends telling you the truth about yourself. enough to say it to your face—then listen up. We were in high school when our families met through mutual friends. We instantly friends. We when our families met through mutual were in high school We clothes, and social in one another—in appearance, personality, realized the similarities appreciate it when anyone used to having our own way and did not were both circles. We Kate was a chal realized that- I (Kelsey) ) interfered with it. When (and we mean anyone were definitely acting out from a We throne, things got ugly. lenge to my “Queen Bee” spreading fighting, and about one another, started gossiping strong sinful nature. We even to our pastors and parents. rumors about each other, together (super started serving sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17) kind of friendship. We and I would talk things came up, Kelsey important!) and hanging out more, and as things would have brutally honest conversations with one another (“I can’t stand through. We worth it! you!” and “Why did you do that?”), but it was Hi guys, this is Kate Lockhart and Kelsey Roberts from the GOV team. We wanted to share wanted to share We team. GOV Roberts from the Kelsey is Kate Lockhart and Hi guys, this great us through. We’re and what God brought about our friendship with you a story ago! That time if you’d seen us five years would’ve thought so but you never friends now, . . . York season in upstate New It was a chilly autumn different story. was a very story from our team: from our A story What if one of your good friends told you something about yourself that you didn’t want to hear? What if one of your good friends told you something How do you decide who your close friends are? Is it just based on how well you get along, or your close friends are? Is it just based on How do you decide who Are you ever tempted to compare yourself with those around you? If you’re at all honest, you’ll you? If you’re yourself with those around tempted to compare Are you ever Would you be up for listening or would you ditch the friendship? What would help you choose the you be up for listening or would you ditch the friendship? What would help you Would first option and not the second? probably say yes. List some reasons why that’s not a great idea. why that’s not a great yes. List some reasons probably say 3 . 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss does it go deeper than that? Talk about how you make those decisions. about how you that? Talk does it go deeper than

58 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 59 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST Take a moment to write your thoughts here. a moment Take When Jesus spoke these words, he was referring to the truth of who he is and the light to the truth of who he was referring spoke these words, When Jesus the truth about it to and apply we can take this verse As children of God, he brings. bad, and good, the are, (the can know the truth about who we truly ourselves. When we before pleasing are not be able to work through the things that the ugly) then we will heart, it into your and shine this, if the Lord was to take a flashlight God. Think of it like what would he see? hen you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” truth will set truth, and the will know the “Then you (John 8:32). My Journal Journal My otal False:______otal False:______otal True:______T otal True:______T When it comes to my friends, True or False: I tend to be an influencer instead of being influenced, and I can usually get what I want from them. T Gossiping really isn’t that big Gossiping really isn’t True or False: nice to people to their of a deal. As long as I’m the problem is. faces, I don’t see what T

hoose True or False for each of the questions in the five zones below. When you’re zones below. questions in the five for each of the or False hoose True answers, and false count your true answers, then each zone, count your done with

You should know: there are no right or wrong answers to this quiz! This is merely used answers to this quiz! know: there are no right or wrong should You What I want is my biggest drive True or False: in life, and I go after it, especially with my friends. I really don’t like it when people True or False: I mess up my plans, and if I don’t get my way, get ticked. Zone 2 Zone I know that God wants me to I know that God wants True or False: cool with my friends—I love people. So I’m pretty think that counts. As long as I’m a “good” Chris- True or False: tian, I’ll get to Heaven. Zone 1 Zone In the Zone Zone the In

add them up below each zone. Check out the results after the quiz to see where you’re to after the quiz Check out the results up below each zone. add them you rise above and that will help is a passage of Scripture each zone result at, and below treat those around you. change the way you contest popularity in the where you might be tempted to engage as a light to show you get started! So let’s of God. useful to team efforts in the kingdom so that you can be more C

60 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 61 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST otal False:______otal False:______otal False:______otal True:______T T otal True:______otal True:______T to me. I don’t like the idea of me or my friends to me. I don’t like the idea of me or my friends having to answer to anyone, and don’t see why we should have to. T Being rejected is the WORST Being rejected True or False: don’t notice world to me. If people thing in the humiliated. me, I’m totally T in I usually get caught up True or False: about what my life should daydreams or fantasies like in the future. look like, or could look T I like the idea that my life is my True or False: own, and I can make my own choices. I don’t usually like people True or False: (especially authority figures) telling me what to do. The idea that all of my choices True or False: or actions are subject to God is uncomfortable Zone 5 Zone If I don’t like a situation, I If I don’t like a situation, True or False: mentally check out. movies, I use things like TV, True or False: social media, porn, video games, shopping, to help me forget or other things like these my problems. Zone 4 Zone I love looking good, and I I love looking True or False: who make myself with people always surround me look good. should always I think people True or False: stage. to me. I like being center pay attention Zone 3 Zone ord? “These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s “These are the words of the So, because you are cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! deeds, that you are neither ‘I am rich; I have acquired say, you out of my mouth. You lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit blind and naked. that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, to put on your eyes, so you can see” (Revelationso you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve 3:14-18). What’s the W like a friend instead of really being a true friend, think to just act like a friend instead So next time you’re tempted Zone 2 . . . If you answered True to two or more in thing in the tend to think that what you want is the most important Smooth Operator: You When it comes to your friends, you know how to get world, and you’re an influencer for sure! pushy or demanding The downside to this is that people perceive you as being your way. or need is important to you at all—probably because they don’t feel like what they want because you never let them have their way. one 1 . . . Zone 1 . or more in True to two If you answered you do is more important believing that what you get caught up Sometimes Law Enforcer: are on the inside than about who you that God cares way more are. The truth is than who you nice or pretending to in you faking He isn’t interested to be on the outside. who you pretend wants genuine love from his kids. be a good friend—he around to you. Always to stop rumors cold when they start spreading again. Make it a point start talking smack, defend instead of the worst, and when people assume the best of people dose of character to do that, trashed. It takes someone with a huge the person who’s being to go after the Word a strong person, so use that strength worth it. You’re but we promise—it’s agenda. of God, not your own Results

62 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 63 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST ord? ord? What’s the W they said, ‘we want you to do to him. ‘Teacher,’ “Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came ‘Let one of us do for you?’ he asked. They replied, for us whatever we ask.’ ‘What do you want me to don’t know what you are asking,’ Jesus ‘You sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.’ W What’s the him who died for should no longer live for themselves but for he died for all, that those who live “And Though we of view. point So from now on we regard no one from a worldly them and was raised again. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation do so no longer. we way, once regarded Christ in this the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:15-17). has come: The old has gone, getting the attention. You’ll see a whole different perspective on life when you aren’t see a whole different perspective is getting the attention. You’ll Next time you’re not center stage—and it’s a good idea to make it a POINT to pull yourself outNext time you’re not center stage—and it’s Next time you’re in a situation where you’d normally demand your own way, take a step back.take a step way, your own demand normally where you’d in a situation you’re Next time rue to two or more in True to two or moreZone 3 . . . If you answered or Whether you’re at school, a party, love being the center of attention. You The Star Performer: and rumors probably Drama feel the need to be front and center. at church or youth group—you mind or making a scene. The because you don’t mind speaking your surround you pretty often, anyone else to shine. It’s hard to spotlight is that it doesn’t leave room for problem with taking the attention, because you really want your friends—when they get be happy for other people—even when it can lead you to put them down out of your anger, frustration with that Your it for yourself. has everything to do with you being jealous. really has nothing to do with that person—it and ask God to help you be happy for the personof the limelight from time to time—really pray who you’re talkative and outgoing, people will tend toblinded by the bright lights of stardom. Since to love and listen to others! feel comfortable with you, so jump at the opportunity See what those around you think or want to do. You may be surprised at what you hear. Now hear. at what you surprised may be You to do. think or want around you those See what on But the greatest leaders which is awesome! leader, news: you’re a natural here’s the good to listen and take input.and are always willing foremost servants, who are first and earth are those your life! the Lord richly bless and watch to authority, to keep yourself submitted Remember , do the work of an evangelist, discharge all ord? What’s the W “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship the time for my I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and For the duties of your ministry. the faith. Now there race, I have kept I have fought the good fight, I have finished the departure is near. will award to me the Lord, the righteous Judge, is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which 4:5-8, Timothy have longed for his appearing” (2 on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who emphasis ours). said. ‘Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?’ ‘We can,’ they ‘We with?’ am baptized baptism I with the or be baptized the cup I drink you drink said. ‘Can am baptism I the with be baptized cup I drink and drink the will ‘You to them, Jesus said answered. for whom to those places belong grant. These not for me to or left is sit at my right with, but to baptized and John. became indignant with James heard about this, they prepared.’ When the ten they have been rulers of the Gentiles who are regarded as know that those ‘You them together and said, Jesus called whoever you. Instead, them. Not so with exercise authority over and their high officials lord it over them, slave first must be whoever wants to be be your servant, and great among you must wants to become 10:35-44). of all’” (Mark You might not realize you are doing this at all. Over the next week, work hard to recognize this at all. Over the next week, work hard might not realize you are doing You Your life’s motto could be “When the going gets tough, I leave.” You don’t the going gets tough, I leave.” You life’s motto could be “When The Escape Artist: Your way for you to avoid reality is difficult or uncomfortable. The easiest like it when things are TV or movies, viewing porn, video games, watching a ton of to mentally check out—playing else you can do to forget always talking on the phone . . . or anything shopping all day long, on. about what is really going to deal with, try running to your something comes up that’s hard for you this habit. Whenever Christ is our strength and remote control or your phone. Remember: Bible instead of to the you probably have amazed at the results. Our guess is that be You’ll provider and best friend. part of the reason why it’s difficult for you to look at a really compassionate heart, and that is But know that the Lord holds all things in his because sometimes reality hurts. Badly. reality, hard things in your life. Be moved to pray for those hands; don’t be discouraged when you see around you who need help and hope. rue to two or more in True to two or moreZone 4 . . . If you answered

64 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 65 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST ord? What’s the W that which God except to the governing authorities, for there is no authority “Let everyone be subject whoever that exist have been established by God. Consequently, has established. The authorities do so will who God has instituted, and those rebels against the authority is rebelling against what those who do who do right, but for rulers hold no terror for those bring judgment on themselves. For and you will be in authority? Then do what is right wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one wrong, be afraid, for for your good. But if you do the one in authority is God’s servant commended. For to bring punish- God’s servants, agents of wrath rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are only because of not Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, ment on the wrongdoer. (Romans 13:1-5). possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience” Next time you’re hanging out with your friends, try to stay where you’ll be accountable to out with your friends, try to stay where Next time you’re hanging Thoughts from the team: been can take these insights for what they’re worth. But we can tell you that, for us, they’ve You and working out how we can become better hugely helpful in taking a good look at ourselves friends—and more like Christ. one 5 . . . in Zone or more to two rue T answered If you your friends, out with go and hang you your life. When shots in calling the like ebel: You The R you and tries to to do it. If anyone crosses when you want do what you want, you want to we’re guessing hold a grudge. In fact, ticked and tend to your plans, you get interfere with was the deal: authority But here’s now. for saying this to you not a huge fan of us that you’re has called you to the people that God important to stay under God, and it’s super created by it later if promise, you’ll regret that protection—we run out from under don’t want to serve. You you do. brave in the future. You’re than you. It’ll save you a world of heartache someone older and wiser it when God calls you to do chances. Never lose that edge; you’ll need and not afraid to take opinion. Just realize that you go against the status quo and popular tough things, things that all do. over you to keep you in check. OK? We need people watching

ometimes in this whole popularity thing we get so caught up in fitting in or in or so caught up in fitting thing we get in this whole popularity ometimes each other trying to impress in the world we’re that we forget why standing out

Since our team is of your generation, we’re going to write like you’re sitting with us in sitting with you’re your generation, we’re going to write like Since our team is of and travel room together, Virtue group is close—we eat together, The Generations of help us walk would pull us aside and During the really rough times, our mentors Or maybe you’re popular” in your clique? Are you afraid of losing the position of “most Guard the Gate Gate the Guard

anyway. The truth is, most of our reasons for chasing after approval stem from . . . fear. fear. stem from . . . chasing after approval of our reasons for The truth is, most anyway. can Fear of fear. any form or kind help you guard against with this study is to Our goal us to engage further in the or jealousy—feelings that lead grow into hurt, insecurity, popularity contest. Dr Pepper maybe downing your second at our weekly Bible study, this big living room Do you feel the need to were sitting here, we’d ask you point-blank: for the night. If you all of us? drive for a huge of the time? Why is being the best such one-up each other all What’s the deal? of We’ve had to hash out a lot to go through fire together. had together 24/7/365. We’ve our desire to be the best. issues about getting along and giving up something like this: was incredible. It went through these issues. The advice they gave from fear of loss.” one another only comes “The feeling of jealousy that you have toward it’s this huge fear of they continued. “Whether When we all looked at them like, “Huh?” the same thing.” think you are, it all comes from losing your position or losing who you afraid of: S

66 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 67 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST

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school your not not Nothing that comes from him can be lost in him. We don’t have to worry about don’t have to worry from him can be lost in him. We Nothing that comes while he also gave gifts and talents, If you can accept that God gave you incredible . (Go back and look at Romans in God. (Go back and look understand that nothing good is lost have to We ★ ★ ★ 8:28.) Often we’re so concerned about maintaining our status, whether it’s with our it’s with whether concerned about maintaining our status, 8:28.) Often we’re so of in pursuit own calling or in our churches, that we forfeit our friends, in our families, has that we never what everyone else get so caught up in wanting someone else’s. We his children. as in Christ or what God gave us (individually) develop who we are in God’s God. If we’re before and trying to knock us out of our place someone coming in are in Christ. God alone can shake who we will, nothing can shake that position. Nothing have to hold it all together; when we walk with him, he don’t will secure our place. We handles that for us. everything and you can give up wanting those around you different incredible gifts, everything. If we are gave you. No one gets be content and satisfied with what God all get a part and that part we get it! We supposed to have something, God will make sure a massive body—the those around us to create is meant to be shared and combined with 12!) the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians body of Christ. (Check out pretty much ★ ★ ★ itism.” avor feel like being Christlike to them. not doe s not od “G f show s 2:11 —Roman See, God is so good that he good that God is so See, gossip or backstab? or what is going on when we are jealous Do you ever think about The truth is that forfeiting someone else’s well-being for the sake of my jealousy is a well-being for the sake of The truth is that forfeiting someone else’s to be, there is no and who he has made you When you have true confidence in Christ interesting conclusions. may come up with some You doesn’t show partiality to his kids partiality to his doesn’t show 2:11), so we can actually (Romans get for people when they be happy we that maybe we wish something - know that true broth had. Did you as if it things awesome same satisfaction in someone else getting erly love is taking the But we really believe that if we That is a huge challenge. you? Wow! were happening to everything— that we deserve that we have to have everything—and give up our mind-set another. for one and respect as we were designed to, with love we’ll be able to function saying, “I’m afraid of you. or put a person down, we are actually When we reject someone perspective, doesn’t of puts things into are a threat to me, and I don’t like it.” Kind You are—or who they to question things to people, we can cause them it? When we do those we don’t who they could be—in Christ, just because disgusting transaction. We all know it happens. And we all know it has to stop. all know it happens. And disgusting transaction. We can’t un-become who you you are in him. You fear of things falling apart or losing who of humility instead of we operate from a place are in Christ. There is so much safety when to put someone Next time you’re tempted the kingdom we seek to create for ourselves. it for you? What’s your want to do that? What’s in down, trace your thoughts. Why do you drive for doing it?

68 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 69 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST Let’s take a look at that first phrase: “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to friends soon comes “One who has unreliable look at that first phrase: Let’s take a ne who has unreliable friends has unreliable 18:24: “One who Proverbs Check out Let’s go a little deeper. Do you hang close to your friends? How do you support them? Think Do you hang close to your friends? How Let’s go a little deeper.

ruin.” What does that say to you? ruin.” What soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a closer than who sticks there is a friend to ruin, but soon comes brother.” 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss about a time when a friend relied on you for help. What happened? Did you come through for them relied on you for help. What happened? about a time when a friend you change it? back and change that experience, how would or not? If you could go Having as many friends as you possibly can may seem like it’s the most important thing right thing right important it’s the most seem like can may you possibly friends as as many Having Let’s jump to the second half of the verse: “but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” than a brother.” a friend who sticks closer verse: “but there is to the second half of the Let’s jump there for us through anything Jesus is, he is always that friend to us. He is What’s so incredible about we will fall hard we try, will always let us down. No matter how to us! People and he longs to be close that change the way you look leave us or let us down. How does knowing short. But Christ will never at yourself? at others? now, because sometimes it looks like the popular kids can do whatever they want. They call the want. They they can do whatever kids like the popular it looks sometimes because now, If we’re reading that’s all surface. get everyone’s attention—but get the hot dates, they shots, they to to ruin”—then we have friends soon comes who has unreliable of God says—“One what the Word in pursuing popularity. look at our motives take a different 3 .

70 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 71 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST - ad company corrupts corrupts “Bad company tells us that tells us that 1 Corinthians 15:33 1 Corinthians Next let’s go over to Proverbs 13:20: “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of companion wise, for a become wise and with the 13:20: “Walk to Proverbs let’s go over Next fools suffers harm.” Take an honest evaluation of the people you spend your time with. Are they the Are they the time with. spend your you of the people evaluation an honest Take suffers harm.” fools away from him? How are they drawing you you toward God or who are encouraging type of people Hint: can you tell? good character.” That’s not to say that you and your friends have to always be doing “holy” things together. No together. be doing “holy” things friends have to always say that you and your That’s not to or to fast together every week every Saturday night in a prayer meeting one expects you to spend honest question: are you more or things to do!). Just ask yourself an (although those are awesome your feelings and your reac around your friends? Why? Write about less like Christ when you’re tions here. 4 . s iron sharpens sharpens As iron “ If any of you have ever watched a ever watched of you have If any should do! Real friends help each other gives an important insight about friendship: friendship: insight about an important gives roverbs 27:17 27:17 Proverbs

Take a minute to reflect: Are you willing to be sharpened? Who does that for you now? How would a minute to reflect: Are you willing to be sharpened? Who does that Take on something? you react if your close friend called you out out, stick with each other, and commit to grow together as brothers and sisters in Christ. They and commit to grow together as brothers and sisters in Christ. out, stick with each other, more and more like Christ every day. sharpen one another to help each other become That might seem really hard to do, but that’s what friends That might seem really hard to do, but that’s We often view friendship as a relationship that makes us feel or look good. When we do this, we as a relationship that makes us feel or often view friendship We they also serve as a shaping intended. While friendships can be awesome, don’t view it the way God that wasn’t cool that you lied A real friend is willing to say—with love—“Bro, instrument in our lives. I know you really like that girl, but she isn’t where you were last night” or “Hey, to your parents about I don’t want to see you stumble.” following after God, and knife or scissors being sharpened, you know that it involves slashing two pieces of hard, tough slashing two pieces you know that it involves being sharpened, knife or scissors useful. When this writer to make it more the cutting edge sharper, each other to make metal against he meant by that? iron,” what do you think us to “iron sharpening compared iron, so one person sharpens another.” sharpens person so one iron, 5 .

72 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 73 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST Jesus told his disciples, told his disciples, Jesus ohn 15:13. John wo are better than one, because “Two are better than Have you ever experienced a friend helping you up Have you ever experienced a friend helping tells us that reater love has no one than this: to lay down to lay this: one than has no love “Greater cclesiastes 4:9, 10 Ecclesiastes 4:9,

One of Jesus’ most impactful statements is found in is found statements impactful of Jesus’ most One when you have fallen—basically, when you’ve totally messed up? How did it change the outcome of when you have fallen—basically, type of person who sticks with your friend, even when the situation for you? Are you willing to be the What can you do to be ready to catch your friends he or she messes up—and even if it’s big-time? when they fall? 7 . Now, most of us won’t be put into a life-threatening situation where we physically have to die in order physically have to die situation where we into a life-threatening most of us won’t be put Now, one’s life”? He means he says to “lay down Jesus mean when friend’s life. So what does to save our want and accept what to lay off what we of your friends. He means yourself for the sake to sacrifice your friends? In what ways can do. Are you willing to lay down your life for Christ has called us to can help those around you: a minute to brainstorm ways you you do this? Take 6 . one’s life for one’s friends.” one’s life they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls they have a good return for their up. But pity anyone who falls and down, one can help the other has no one to help them up.” his closest friends on earth, on earth, friends his closest What does the world most often tell you about how your friends are supposed to act or what act or what to are supposed your friends about how often tell you most does the world What friends do for each other? Think of movies you’ve seen, music you’ve heard, things you’ve read you’ve read things you’ve heard, seen, music you’ve of movies other? Think do for each friends or why not? Based of friendship? Why portray God’s view think these viewpoints online. Do you Think of at least from friendship? do you think God expects talked about, what on what we’ve three things. 8 .

74 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 75 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST hessalonians 5:11: “Therefore 1 Thessalonians 5:11: ive to everyone who asks you, and if Luke 6:30: “Give to everyone who asks you, The Word tells us over and over again: Dude, help each other out! (OK, each other out! us over and over again: Dude, help tells different The Word Nothing is more shallow than to pretend to be nice to someone when you’re really to someone when to pretend to be nice more shallow than Nothing is anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.” anyone takes what belongs to encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact another and build each other encourage one you are doing.” What are some habits that you need to change to treat everyone (not What are some habits that you God wants you to? just certain people) the way that wording, but you get the idea.) The Bible doesn’t say, “Don’t worry about everyone else, doesn’t say, wording, but you get the idea.) The Bible only have to help the people you like.” Nope. It says just help your friends out” or “You everyone. Look at boiling with jealousy. We’ve felt this before—a tendency to flatter our rivals with words tendency to flatter our rivals with words felt this before—a We’ve boiling with jealousy. of saying Instead in the end. it doesn’t ever get us anywhere we don’t really mean—but for happy you genuinely mean, really pray and ask God to make something you don’t Specifically ask behalf. write a prayer on his could even take a minute to the person. You and his life. Read God to bless the person “For as you well know, we never resorted either to words of to words of resorted either we never well know, as you “For or pretexts for greedy motives to conceal or to any cloak flattery AMP). 2:5, witness” (1 Thessalonians God is our gain, as My Journal Journal My Jot down some ways you can be more helpful to those around you. It around to those helpful be more you can ways some Jot down it! Just go for thing. a small it can be huge; to be something have doesn’t

76 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 77 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST Instead of the typical smear campaign that some teens engage in, launch a clean campaign. Instead of the typical smear campaign that Find at least one person you’re typically not friends with—or even someone you don’t like—and you’re typically not friends with—or even Find at least one person For one week, we want you not to talk negatively about anyone. At all. This includes in your anyone. At all. This to talk negatively about week, we want you not one For Make it a point to text at least three people encouraging (biblical) messages every day for a week. Make it a point to text at least three people encouraging You’ll ruin your witness into false flattery!); be genuine. Don’t say anything fake (remember we’re not hard to keep it real. as a Christian if you are fake with people—try thoughts! Your week’s mantra is: “If I don’t have anything nice to say (or think!), I won’t say (or nice to say (or think!), “If I don’t have anything week’s mantra is: thoughts! Your something! does teach us at all.” See? Kindergarten think!) anything 3 . 2 . OK, for you. got these challenges we’ve breath. Check out here goes. Deep 1 . Challenge show them the love of Christ. That person may have never heard about Jesus. Maybe they aren’t Christ. That person may have never heard show them the love of You’re loved.” Go ahead. “Hey. may be the first person to ever tell them, You as blessed as you are. may it never know, weekend. You to hang out with you and your friends this Invite them to church or a feeling. It’s a choice we make to out to them. Remember this: Love isn’t be your only shot to reach and care for one another no matter what. rise above our situation 1:13, 14; 2:9, 10; 3:1-4 1:13, 14; 1:6; 3:20; 4:13 1:6; 3:20; 1:7 4:14-16 5:18 imothy ohn ebrews olossians hilippians P C 2 T H 1 J ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3:16; 6:17-20; 12:27 1:21, 22; 5:17-21 1:3-8; 2:6-10; 3:12 5:1, 2; 8:1, 2, 28, 31-39 5:1, 2; 8:1, Hey, remember that we’re praying for you! All of this changing is a huge step in remember that we’re praying for you! Hey, steps will help Bible says that unity is critical. These small the right direction. The which is filled with selfishness, and into the you navigate out of enemy territory, and serving Christ and each another. kingdom of God, where it’s all about loving 1:12; 15:5, 15, 16 1:12; 15:5, orinthians orinthians omans phesians ohn 2 C E R 1 C J It is so important that you understand who you are in Christ. If you can understand this, you won’t this, you understand If you can in Christ. who you are that you understand important It is so ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ rom the team: fall to the lies of the enemy that feed jealousy and anger. There are a ton of Scriptures on this topic, on this of Scriptures are a ton There anger. and that feed jealousy enemy the lies of the fall to your car, mirror, your room, your bathroom everywhere. All over you to post these and we encourage check out: some verses for you to all the time! Here are you look your locker—anywhere F 4 . ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

78 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 79 ✩ THE POPULARITY CONTEST lure, which ailure, ve you the formula “I cannot give you for success, but I can give you f the formula for is: Try to please everybody.” —Herbert B. Swope These are the things I’m still struggling with, that I need to wrestle in I’m still struggling with, that These are the things prayer over: These are the things that were most impacting to me from this session: to me from were most impacting the things that These are My Journal Journal My FOUR PART 80 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK Fearless Purity

ur team loves love. We aren’t here to be down on romance or sex—we’re actually all for it! But there’s a catch. For centuries misguided relationships have broken the hearts of countless men and women—and all pretty much for the same reason. The people in these failed relationships all tried to have it their Oown way, not going to Jesus for guidance, but choosing to navigate this territory alone. The Bible says that “people look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Removing God from the picture is sure to send us down a road of heartbreak. And ultimately, no one wants that—not you, not us, no one. Will you join us in our pursuit of awesome, successful, God-centered relationships? 81 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY

ur ministry has spent significant amounts of time in Southeast Asia. On one particular in Southeast Asia. amounts of time has spent significant ur ministry the is known throughout Bangkok Now, our itinerary. Thailand was on trip, Bangkok,

Our first surprise was the filth. The odor of vomit, trash, urine, and smoke seemed to and smoke seemed the filth. The odor of vomit, trash, urine, Our first surprise was heart of the in the in the city, to one of the most notorious streets Our meetings took us exteriors, can overlook the sickening If you’re wondering how thousands of visitors world as a sort of sexual fantasyland. To many, it’s seen as “the pinnacle”—sex at its most pinnacle”—sex at it’s seen as “the many, To sort of sexual fantasyland. world as a speaker was overhead its descent, the as our plane made and greatest. Even mysterious we’d except for what expect, explicit music. Not knowing what to loudly blaring sexually Bangkok what the real of set out for our meetings—blithely unaware heard in rumors, we is like in some places. faces of the lame children begging in the food stands to the From permeate everything. the build- the walls of to parents watched from the alley shadows), the streets (while their ings, filth was everywhere. more and more destination, our team became red-light district. As we continued to our nearly deserted. Signs that, when we arrived, the area was found it strange disgusted. We men’s club featuring the ruins of a 1940s-era that looked like they’d been salvaged from windows. hanging from second-story phrases like “girls, girls, girls” were crookedly guarding their brothel to by madams, carefully Our disgust grew as we were called out thought: Can you believe this is a tourist hot spot? doorways. We vendors appear, At dusk hundreds of street we’ll give you a hint: they only go at night. Before long the bars a crowd begins to gather. many more food stalls are put up, and The filth is so covered up alive with activity. and brothels open and the area becomes

Renewing Your Mind Mind Your Renewing O We share this story with you because, for our team, it served as an awakening. If awakening. as an our team, it served you because, for share this story with We We is. love really idea of quest of our team to find out what God’s So it’s become the usually part of not love and sex. It’s often enough about God’s plan for don’t hear We to sex and relation- change our thinking when it comes believe that God wants to We we are subject to forsaking the message that When we bypass what the world offers, by darkness and cheap merchandise that almost no one, except the locals, ever sees ever sees locals, the except no one, that almost merchandise cheap and by darkness enough sick ideas with and Covers up its filth the world does? Is this what what we saw. doing? it is we’re actually we can’t see what and distractions that darkness We better. must be something there world has to offer, pinnacle of what the this is the sexual addictions of one-night stands, more than a series been created for had to have STDs, and emotional heartbreak. (including pornography), love and created us? God, who world offers; what does God have for see clearly what the in history. love stories who orchestrated the most amazing sex to begin with. God, the great deceiver and or novels. The enemy, movies, TV shows, the plots of best-selling it into for good and manipulated and distorted has taken what God created impersonator, - unrecogniz completely from its original purpose that it’s almost something so perverted is. us this is the best there able. And to add to his perversion, he tells who are emotion- be part of a generation of people ships. How awesome could this be: to and having great, having happy marriages, ally whole, living out their callings in God, beautiful, fearless sex? healthy, life is totally possible. the whims of our passions and urges, that

82 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 83 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY If you believe that there’s something better for you than the world’s view of sex, what influences in If you believe that there’s something better Have you ever stopped to think that God is the real creator of sex? That the enemy isn’t the to think that God is the real creator of sex? Have you ever stopped In what ways have you seen filth (immoral or ungodly behavior, attitudes, or actions) covered up attitudes, or behavior, (immoral or ungodly have you seen filth In what ways your life need to change? TV? movies? music? Get specific. your life need to change? TV? movies? music? by darkness or distractions? (For example: people use humor to cover up filth in dirty jokes.) use humor to cover example: people or distractions? (For by darkness 3 . 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss creator, so he couldn’t possibly come up with anything better than God? Talk or write about what that or write about God? Talk possibly come up with anything better than so he couldn’t creator, future? of sex. What does that mean to you? to your means, that God himself is the creator

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tell I ‘Y (M theft malice slander “W defiles out thoughts at committed heart “Y “F judgment thing (E These verses are hard to argue with. Obviously, God cares a lot about sexual purity! God cares These verses are hard to argue with. Obviously, shall not kill” “You certain verses in the Bible, such as people will disagree with Few to admit that at some point or another we’veIf we are honest with ourselves, we have ★ ★ ★ And if he takes the time to warn us again and again throughout the Bible to live sexually and again throughout the And if he takes the time to warn us again attention to the warnings. pure lives, we should take the time to pay the ones above (if But when you start mentioning verses like and “Love your neighbor.” quiet. Why is that? anyone knows them at all), everyone gets We would never argue our right to those of society. watered down our standards to reflect ible says about sexual purity sexual says about ible the B What ★ ★ ★

84 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 85 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY Do you think this statement from Jesus includes sexual purity? We often statement from Jesus includes Do you think this hold onto our bad way of thinking: we can stubbornly fall into a distorted won’t really care what a relationship with God, and he habits, still have relationships and sex how the choices you make in we do. Can you see your thoughts here. your relationship with God? Journal directly affect My Journal Journal My God” (Matthew 5:8). pure in heart, for they will see “Blessed are the murder someone or discuss how hating our neighbors a little bit is OK. a little bit neighbors our how hating or discuss someone murder take don’t we Why justify or defend no way we can as seriously? There’s about sexual purity these verses at porn. of marriage, or looking encounters outside having sexual sleeping around,

magine for a moment that as you’re walking out of the mall this Saturday, you run into you run into of the mall this Saturday, you’re walking out a moment that as magine for out, the boy find met. Come to him you’ve never has a little boy with who your pastor, The first weekend available, you take off and visit your freshman friend. You’re alarmed friend. off and visit your freshman The first weekend available, you take Flash forward ten years. By now you’ve invested a lot of time, energy, and even money invested a lot of time, energy, Flash forward ten years. By now you’ve Describe the different ways you might help him. Describe the different A Little Imagination Imagination A Little in this kid! You’ve helped him out every way you knew, and most recently, you helped him and most recently, him out every way you knew, helped in this kid! You’ve get into a good college. After a two-day except for his stoned roommate. when you find his dorm room deserted, alley two blocks him down. Sleeping in an search involving police, you finally track he tells you he’s decided to live on the streets instead of going from a homeless shelter, to school.

is eight years old, orphaned, and living with an uncle who couldn’t care less about his care who couldn’t and living with an uncle old, orphaned, is eight years you know it, you’re you, and before comes over strong sense of compassion welfare. A after school. day in an effort to check up on this kid every joining your pastor I

86 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 87 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY ”

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he nd A and power they full “ “T kill Life to the full. Filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Having a love that all the fullness of God. Having Life to the full. Filled to the measure of Obviously, you’d be hurting badly for your friend. How could he give up all the support give up all could he be hurting badly for your friend. How you’d Obviously, thing when we choose our own path do exactly the same We But are we any different? What does he want for me? may be wondering, You ★ ★ surpasses knowledge. These are the things God wants for us. Whether we ever get God wants for us. Whether surpasses knowledge. These are the things and potential he has to live a life on the streets? and potential he has away his we throw feel when How do you think Jesus must in the world of relationships. what he so far below promise we have in him, and choose something support and all the wants for us? ★ What would you say to him? How would you feel? would you How say to him? would you What ★ Your body is not your own. It belongs first to God and then, body is not your own. It belongs first Your he wife does not have authority over her own body her own body authority over does not have “The wife you attract what you are. If you could meet your future husband or wife—this afternoon—and you were able to or wife—this afternoon—and If you could meet your future husband long for a partner in your life? In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul Paul Corinthians, In his letter to the partner in your life? you do long for a But what if Picture your dream husband or wife. There they stand, so perfect you can hardly you can hardly perfect husband or wife. There they stand, so Picture your dream is no, then consider or wife? If your answer So, is this person still your dream husband but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does husband does the way, In the same it to her husband. but yields it to his wife” over his own body but yields not have authority 7:4). (1 Corinthians ask them anything, what would you ask them about the choices they’ve made in the area them about the choices they’ve ask them anything, what would you ask of sexual purity? married or not, he wants us to know the life and the love that he has designed just for just designed has that he and the love the life us to know he wants or not, married (It will take a people. makes to his all the promises God Scriptures. Study us. Read the want us to give up. is what he doesn’t while!) This this: tells them someday, it will be given to your spouse. What kind of person do you want to have want person do you be given to your spouse. What kind of it will someday, that person? to give body? What kind of body do you want authority over your find out you Now imagine exactly like what you have always wanted. believe it. They look or drinking. sex, drugs, casual is addicted to porn, masturbation, that your perfect person addictions, but does doesn’t have those a less extreme note, your would-be mate on Or, love scenes in PG-13 a problem with passionate think about sex all the time, doesn’t see opposite sex (they time with members of the and R-rated movies, spends a lot of alone leaves you wondering), has no it emotionally, swear they don’t touch, but are so close technically had full-on though he or she hasn’t filter for inappropriate music, and, even mess around. sex with someone, thinks it’s “fine” to this:

88 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 89 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY Have you saved sex for me? Have you saved 10 . 9 . down your answers to those same questions—as if they Now re-read the questions you wrote. Write wife: were asked of you by your future husband or 8 . 7 . 6 . 5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1 . Write your questions here (we’ve suggested one for you): (we’ve suggested here your questions Write 10 . 9 . do you want to have authority over your body? What kind So ask yourself again: What kind of person of body do you want to give that person? 8 . 7 . 6 . 5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1 .

90 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 91 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY When Isaac proposed, I sat there dumbfounded. I was shocked that elsey: When Isaac proposed, I sat there dumbfounded. From K From good intentions and a desire to keep Although I started off with a backpack full of Kelsey and I have quite a love story now, but you wouldn’t have thought it have thought but you wouldn’t now, have quite a love story and I Kelsey Isaac: From of this world, the Lord assured me that if I gave up the things As I was following him, I ever met her. burden on me for my future wife, long before God had placed a strong Once I was I knew that she was the one I had been waiting for. As I got to know Kelsey, God would give me such an incredible husband, especially after the choices I had made. God would give me such an incredible husband, standards to morph into those of the world. healthy boundaries, it didn’t take long for my completely helpless, I found myself in Before I knew it, lines were crossed, and feeling possible from the ways our lives started out. Growing up in opposite ends of the world (I grew in opposite ends of the out. Growing up the ways our lives started possible from from one bad choice life found us bouncing in the U.S.), grew up Asia, Kelsey up in Southeast the Lord, we both came to know to the next. Over time, and relationships about sex, parties, other. we ever met each of restoration long before the long, painful road and he began he could do that, I my every hope, longing, and desire. But before he would in turn fulfill of relationships—all of it. my time, my desires, my constant pursuit had to give it all to him: I needed. could he, in his perfect timing, give me what Only when he had it all had no idea who she even though I how I could honor her, I started seeking him about for my future wife’scoming along. He prompted me to begin saving was or when she was any At the time I was a teen, barely making order. this was a tall engagement ring. Now, as by month, I would set aside as much but I did my best to be obedient. Month money, so, I’d pray for my even if it was only one dollar! As I did I could into a savings account, that one day God would bring me someone I I saved and prayed by year, future wife. Year could spend my life with. as husband and wife, I went to the jeweler and confident that God had called us together I knew that and put that ring on her finger, picked out a beautiful ring. When I proposed to bring me an awesome wife. God had answered every prayer I had prayed story from our team: from A story When I was nineteen, the Lord got a hold of my life in a radical way. He placed such a radical way. a hold of my life in a nineteen, the Lord got When I was know—I had to run going to reach this goal, but one thing I did I didn’t know how I was at the entrance of the chapel doors, Seven years after the Lord saved my life, I stood story God has for you. I truly believe that Never sell yourself short of the incredible love the deepest, most despairing pit I had ever known. My heart, once filled with hopes and with hopes once filled My heart, ever known. pit I had despairing most the deepest, of sex, the insurmountable guilt surrounded with in a pile of broken pieces, dreams, lay name it, it was there. attempted abortion—you lies, alcohol, I realized of my life began, seek him. As the rebuilding heart to know him and desire in my body) that mind (not to mention to my own heart and so much damage that I had done me to set up had to be relearned. The Lord encouraged many basic “purity principles” was for my first kiss in relationships, and one of those standards a high standard for my when God says he “makes all Remember, be on my wedding day. my next relationship to restore By his incredible love and forgiveness, he can that includes our purity! things new,” that which has been lost. to cling to, me, that meant giving up everything I used back. For after God and never look I had, I changed my me to get tangled up. I lost every friend everything that had caused I listened to, the movies address, my clothing choices, the music my e-mail phone number, I could to make moved to a different state for a time. I did everything I watched, and I even time, I made new friends, run back to the person I used to be. Over sure that I would never and rebuilt my life on Christ’s foundation. got involved in this incredible ministry, He squeezed my hand, we took a father. wearing a stunning white gown, smiling at my to a petal-filled aisle that would lead me deep breath, and the massive glass doors opened shared our Isaac and I friends and family, to Isaac. On that evening, in front of our closest WELL worth the wait! very first kiss! And let me tell you—it was God who is mighty to save you serve an incredible if you turn to him, he will run to you. We back from him. from anything and everything that holds you

92 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 93 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY

e once overheard a friend talking about how incredible her husband was going to her husband about how incredible a friend talking e once overheard she’d have an awesome guy, her mind that to attract never once crossed be—but it

4:8 and 2 Timothy 3:16, 17. 4:8 and 2 Timothy projected on a big screen, start quoting Scripture. Seriously, this works! Example: You this works! Example: You Scripture. Seriously, projected on a big screen, start quoting The next time you think a thought that you wouldn’t want Memorize specific Scriptures. The next time you think a thought that Why are our thoughts so important in staying sexually pure? Because our actions areWhy are our thoughts so important in staying mind: Here are some ways you can renew your Imagine there’s a transcript, a written record, of every thought that passes through your a written record, of every thought Imagine there’s a transcript, do! things you can yes, there is good news: there are some But if your answer was . Ideally one chapter or more. Why? Read Philippians Start reading the Bible every day. Ideally one chapter or more. Why? Read 2 . 1 . driven by our thoughts. So the most important place to start making changes is figuring outdriven by our thoughts. So the most important Bible talks about renewing our minds every day. the things we think about. This is why the o not conform to the pattern of this world, “Do not conform Romans 12:2 says: mind. Then you will by the renewing of your but be transformed God’s will is—his good, pleasing be able to test and approve what and perfect will.” Guard the Gate Gate the Guard mind. Now imagine it gets projected onto a big screen at church on Sunday morning—justit gets projected onto a big screen at church mind. Now imagine been there—we know that fear. OUCH. Does that scare you? We’ve like the worship lyrics. to be awesome too. If you are not the person you would want to share the rest of your would want to share not the person you too. If you are to be awesome maybe, do might, not something you to change. This is things will need life with, then the harder Why? The longer you wait, need to change right away. These things someday. now! favor and start us on this one. Do yourself a Trust it will be to change. W

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won atch ave “ ook isten occasional it H your L W L distract yourself with something else. Don’t let the thoughts continue; refuse to allow thoughts continue; else. Don’t let the with something distract yourself we know it can help helpful for us, and This has been so go there mentally. yourself to out! comes that what goes on in your mind eventually you too! Recognize keep your thoughts pure, do you: keep your thoughts can’t get the steamy movie scene from last night out of your head (that love scene (that love your head night out of from last scene movie get the steamy can’t 5. Then, read it 2:4, Ephesians anyway). Memorize have been watching you shouldn’t the whole chapter! again. Read Christian—someone you can be completely honest with, and who is the same sex honest with, and who Christian—someone you can be completely as you. If you can’t get something (or someone) out of your mind, someone) out of your get something (or If you can’t of scenery. Get a change Get an accountability partner, someone who is older, wiser, and a strong and a strong wiser, someone who is older, Get help. Get an accountability partner, , and know what feeds your lust. If you’re struggling to points, and know what feeds Acknowledge your weak In addition to guarding your thought life, what about what’s going on with you physi- what about what’s going In addition to guarding your thought life, ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 5 . 4 . 3 . ★ ★ ★ cally? We know what it’s like—sometimes it just seems like there is no room for Jesus in it just seems like there is know what it’s like—sometimes cally? We advice: Here’s some practical between you and your girlfriend or boyfriend.

94 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 95 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY else is around, it’s never a good idea to watch movies, drive, or be with your date— or be a good idea to watch movies, drive, else is around, it’s never simply standards find themselves compromising their anywhere! Often couples to have the opportunity to do it. because they happen looking out for you, you’re much less likely to find time to mess around. looking out for you, you’re much less likely ship with your girlfriend or boyfriend. We’re not going to lie—this is an absolute must if is an absolute not going to lie—this We’re girlfriend or boyfriend. ship with your to stay physically pure. you want get out of the relationship. Someone who truly cares about you won’t pressure you into get out of the relationship. Someone who is only looking by pressuring you, that person Recognize that doing things sexually. out for number one—and that isn’t you. if your parents walked in the room. If you’re still not sure how far is too far, how about far, is too sure how far If you’re still not walked in the room. if your parents in or did it just get hotter it us, pastors? . . . Wow—is in front of your you demonstrate far, how far is too about if you have real doubts or questions here? Seriously though, It might you know. leader or youth leader or a mature Christian be open with a pastor that they any question them but believe us, you will not be asking seem embarrassing, haven’t heard before. —like being alone together! If no one compromising situations—like being alone together! Keep yourself out of If the person you’re with is pressuring you physically, it’s time to you physically, Know when to get out. If the person you’re with is pressuring Don’t do anything physically that you would be ashamed of be ashamed that you would anything physically limits. Don’t do Establish physical , and communicate with your accountability partner. If you have someone partner. Have a plan, and communicate with your accountability Another huge factor in staying sexually pure is the people around you. Do you ever feel pure is the people around Another huge factor in staying sexually - your relation state of about the be honest With Be honest. partner, accountability your 4 . 5 . 3 . 2 . 1 . pressured to please your surrounding audience? Your friends carry so much influence. Your pressured to please your surrounding audience? all like to think We who are pulling you down? Can you recognize the people in your life not always the case. that’s but sadly, we’re the ones who will do the influencing, Something else we’ve observed is that some of our friends may not want to see us want not may of our friends that some is we’ve observed else Something your life—is that live with, the way you people you hang your lifestyle? The What about probably saying: with your time. But you’re also honor your future spouse now can You night, on Saturday a date because you’re the only one without Instead of complaining when you’re in a relationship with incredible you would feel if, Can you imagine how successfully walking in purity—because they themselves aren’t. If we get our act cleaned get our act cleaned If we aren’t. they themselves walking in purity—because successfully So if your Ephesians 5:13.) they need. (See show how much improving up, it might or away from that friend it’s better to walk Sometimes why. you down, realize friends pull standard. you down to their to let them pull than to continue group of friends were standing you do that if he or she husband or wife? Would honoring to your future your future spouse is watching. next to you? Live like that. What in the world do you mean?” “I’m years away from from our friends got this awesome idea for your future spouse. We take time out to pray future mate. to your write letters (or even text messages) Eric and Leslie Ludy: praying for you for years? And she or he told you they’d been the person you will marry, feel on top of the world! Not only would they then handed you a stack of letters? You’d faithful to you long them because they were be faithful to you then, but you could trust would that be? Be for a lifetime. How awesome before they knew you. They’ll be faithful that person.

96 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 97 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY What in you needs to change to get this relationship? Are you the kind of person you’d want to What in you needs to change to get this relationship? What kind of relationship do you want to have in the future? Dream some here. do you want to have in the future? Dream What kind of relationship Take a moment and reflect on your decisions in the past: are you happy with the choices you’ve you happy with the in the past: are and reflect on your decisions a moment Take marry? Be brutally honest. made in your romantic relationships? Reflect on why you feel this way. Reflect on why you romantic relationships? made in your 3 . 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss Does the thought of staying pure in our world today overwhelm you? Be of staying pure in our world today Does the thought 1:6. Who began the is on your side! Memorize Philippians encouraged! God what good work you Write, sketch, or dream about “good work” in you? you to be who God Think about people who are helping might accomplish. to be like? made you to be—who do you want Look up Psalm 55:22. What are your cares? How often have you felt How often have are your cares? 55:22. What Look up Psalm help you not What things will for purity alone? in this battle like you’re feel alone? My Journal Journal My

98 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 99 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY : When was the last time you looked at porn? When was the last time you Entertainment choices: When was the last time you looked at porn? : When was the last time you masturbated? or touched someone inappropriately? When you masturbated? or touched someone Actions: When was the last time : When you hang out with the opposite sex, are they friends or “more than Dating standards: When you hang out with the opposite sex, : When was the last time you thought about having sex? or had a lustful thought about you thought about having sex? or had a Thoughts: When was the last time watched a sexually explicit movie or scene? When was the last time you hung out somewhere where watched a sexually explicit movie or scene? ways? What kind of music lyrics are on your favorites people were behaving in morally inappropriate growing your relationship with God? list these days? Is the media you’re consuming friends”? Have you toyed with the thought of—or involved yourself in—twisted relationships that the friends”? Have you toyed with the thought of—or keeping your friendships as just friendships or are you world calls “friends with benefits”? Are you always on the lookout for “the one”? someone? When was the last time you imagined yourself kissing someone, dating that amazing guy the last time you imagined yourself kissing someone? When was “captive every thought to make or being asked out? How are you taking or girl, hugging your crush, Corinthians 10:5)? it obedient to Christ” (2 4 . 3 . 2 . 1 . What do you need to change? Self-evaluations are beautiful, insightful—and sometimes insightful—and are beautiful, Self-evaluations need to change? What do you the Answer or grow. difficult to change it’s absolutely But without them, horribly painful! look back at these may need to You mentor. share them with your and below, questions forget tend to conveniently are human—we We sometimes, even frequently. questions about the issues importantly: pray of doing things! Most into our old way and fall back need his help! ask Jesus to help you. You’ll you struggle with and Challenge was the last time you “checked someone out”? or said something suggestive? Have you been someone out”? or said something was the last time you “checked you shouldn’t? Is there anything things on the Internet that you know texting messages or posting want your parents to find out about? that has been done recently that you wouldn’t : Are you compromising your standards by the people you’re hanging out with? When with? When hanging out you’re by the people standards your compromising : Are you Friends If you’d like to write your own, one that’s worded the way you wish, we encourage worded the way you wish, If you’d like to write your own, one that’s All of us on our team have been in the same situations you’ve been in: stuck in a in: stuck in been have been in the same situations you’ve All of us on our team After you’ve finished your evaluation, ask yourself this: Based on what we’ve talked this: Based on what ask yourself finished your evaluation, After you’ve urity pledge you to do so! Or add additional thoughts to this one. And again, we strongly encourage to this one. And again, we strongly you to do so! Or add additional thoughts you as you go after it, sign it, and walk with you to have an accountability partner read keeping your pledge. Have you committed to purity before? Even if you have and failed miserably, it’s never too if you have and failed miserably, Have you committed to purity before? Even wrote this pledge to be like a prayer. beauty of God’s grace. We That’s the late to start over. sign it, and also have your accountability partner sign it. encourage you to pray this, We P about, what are ways you can change? What practical steps can you take? It could mean take? It could mean steps can you change? What practical are ways you can about, what sports magazine your not reading choices. It could mean your movie or music switching serious look at your entertain- a good, cause you to stumble. Take because the models to copy? want filled with sex or behavior you wouldn’t ment choices. Are they crude and content/nudity who don’t seem to care about the sexual theater with friends sometimes have Did we stand out? Yes. left. Did it make us do? We jokes. So what did we that night Because is worth it? Absolutely. bet. Was a ride? You to call someone to get my hardest to keep my mind pure.” “Lord, I tried could honestly say, during devotions, we things, on other to focus with sexual thoughts, we were able Instead of being plagued with garbage. because we chose not to fill our minds 5 . was the last time a friend influenced a bad decision you made? How were they able to do it? Are you to do it? they able How were you made? bad decision a a friend influenced last time was the glorifying God? with people who are hanging out

100 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 101 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY Date Date Accountability Partner Your Signature Your Dear God, I know I’ve made mistakes in the area of purity. Help me realize Help of purity. in the area I know I’ve made mistakes Dear God, I marry. care about who and how much you you care about me how much grace me the to wait for who you have for me. Give Give me the strength the to deny against temptation. Help me as I work I need to stand strong the sexual for I’ve fed and held onto. Give me a hatred areas of impurity that hate love and me. Lord, help me love the things you impurity that’s around Withthe things that you hate. to Jesus, help, I commit to being faithful your Amen. me. and destiny that he has in store for and to walk in the calling I commit to saving my first kiss for my wedding day. first kiss for my wedding day. I commit to saving my I commit to staying accountable to the people that God has around me. I commit to staying accountable to the people My eyes belong to the Lord, and I commit to guarding them against things that would cause me Lord, and I commit to guarding them against My eyes belong to the I choose to discipline my mind, and keep it pure for the plans and purpose of God. I choose to discipline my mind, and keep it I’m dedicating my body to the Lord and to my future spouse, and I commit to guarding my body and I commit to and to my future spouse, my body to the Lord I’m dedicating for the purposes God has for me. God has for me. for the purposes 5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1 . Take a moment to think of five specific ways you want to stay pure. Here want to stay pure. ways you think of five specific a moment to Take of our examples: are some My Journal Journal My to stumble, or that have even a hint of impurity. even a hint of impurity. to stumble, or that have

102 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 103 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY

5 . 4 . 3 . 2 . 1 . Now you give it a shot. Write five ways you want to stay pure: want to you five ways Write it a shot. you give Now I was on a Caribbean cruise with my closest friends and family when I had a my closest friends and cruise with I was on a Caribbean the boat Staff for my commitment to purity. to share about unique opportunity as we were about to evening at sea, and all during our last had been nearby (An emcee on a cruise with the ship’s emcee. up a conversation leave, I struck the ship’s very charismatic character who announces ship is typically a young, on board.) activities and hosts parties asked. “What do you do?” he the word ministry I replied, forgetting what the U.S.,” “I work for a ministry in often means to foreigners. of Education or Health?” he questioned. “Oh, so like the Ministry help young To . . . but it is actually a Christian ministry. we do educate “Well, He had look of surprise on his face was so unusual. people be pure.” The honestly never heard of this concept. a ring you married?” When I said no, he asked, “Then why are you wearing “Are on your finger?” in this day and how, went on to discuss And so the conversation began. We because to this young man, age, this lifestyle of purity could even be possible, discussion, he sighed heavily and it wasn’t possible. After several moments of that.” confessed, “It is just too difficult. I can’t do familiarity of it. This young man was What struck me about his response was the His answer was far from rare. In fact, I hear it often among of a Savior. lost. Void story from our team: from our A story

104 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 105 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY - ment, keep reading. The moment you are determined to face something, with moment you are determined to face something, ment, keep reading. The is yours for Jesus, no force on earth can stop you. Victory the power of the Lord the taking. is to tactic aware of this truth that his number-one The enemy is so keenly standards are unattainable. convince you Christ’s and illogical to remind us that it is impractical, impossible, Culture never ceases to tell you is that believing these to remain pure. But what culture does not want rendering you nearly useless. territory, in enemy lies places you neck-deep at by Jesus’ self-sacrifice What happened to the freedom gained for Christians now instead of ancient Bible times Calvary? Just because we live in the here and Those rules of what’s right now. doesn’t give us the excuse that, “It’s different now more than ever. They absolutely do apply, and wrong don’t apply.” pure? Let me give you a glimpse So how does this work? How do we remain with going back to the years I had struggled of a personal victory in my life. For The drive for holiness was there, same sins and I could never understand why. but the wisdom needed to achieve it was not. Christian teens and young adults. How is it that we, as the body of Christ, are the body of Christ, are How is it that we, as and young adults. Christian teens as our lost friends? defeated answer giving the same I have had my share not an expert on purity; offer a disclaimer: I’m Allow me to is not intended So the following information victories in this arena. of defeats and perfection, only my determination. to claim my on if not solely, pure in our culture today rests heavily, The difficulty in remaining that state you line up your arguments for or against our indecision. Now before When did this When did this And that “more than conquerors We’ll continue these conversations in the future, but for now, ponder this scenario: continue these conversations in the future, but for now, We’ll and if the Bible is right, and ifIf you were truly to decide to stand firm in Christ, then that means that you are God is not a liar, At that time, God began speaking to me through his Word and very wise very wise and his Word through to me began speaking time, God At that like this. Whenever goes idea of tracing The my thoughts. about tracing mentors go back in your steps thoughts, you stop, troublesome or sinful you experience began: when these thoughts mind, and try to identify and in your Let’s use this example: I could be example: I could be I doing? Let’s use this was I with? What was happen? Who Friday mind, and body. in purity of heart, week regarding victories having a great of the night, I’m left friends. By the end and I go out with night rolls around . THINK STOP, I tell myself. a significant other. I am incomplete without feeling like for a quick are unguarded and all of them are looking If I’m with people who idea, I tell left with this empty desire. Here’s a crazy fling, it’s no wonder I’m best thing those people. I will tell you this: the myself: Stop hanging out with stumble, from the people who were causing me to I ever did was walk away is worth losing ground with Christ. because nothing on earth omans 8:37). through him who loved us” (R includes conquering ourselves for the sake of our purity. Next time you begin our purity. includes conquering ourselves for the sake of our world, begin tracing yourthinking that it’s too difficult to remain pure in thoughts—and remember the truth of this verse. Thoughts from the team: Thoughts from the

106 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 107 ✩ FEARLESS PURITY These are the things that were most impacting to me from this session: to me from were most impacting the things that These are My Journal Journal My ssamine or nakedne or danger s 8:35 or sword?” —Roman eparate us from the “Who shall separate of Christ? Shall trouble love secution or or hardship or per f These are the things I’m still struggling with, that I need to wrestle in wrestle to that I need with, struggling I’m still things are the These over: prayer

108 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK FIVE PART 109 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL

Escaping Normal

uring your Culture Shock experience, we pray that God plants a seed deep within your heart that will encourage you to passionately pursue your calling in him. Allow this last study to challenge you and shape you like never before. Don’t miss this incredible opportunity to be refined and sharpened. DRemember that if we’re going to be in this world but not of it, we’re going to have to realize that what most of us have been accepting as normal is NOT what God ever had in mind for us. The world’s view of normal is so far from how awesome life could be that we should never compromise—we have to escape it. So what are you waiting for? Nothing is holding you back from the crazy adventure that God has in store for you. Step one? Escape normal. Renewing Your Mind

hat are you passionate about? What do you want to get involved in? We all desire Wto do great things. We all want to be recognized and have good reputations. But the real question is: Are we willing to serve? Let’s take this example: A couple teens are really passionate about a certain politician, so they decide to help with the campaign. But problems surface when they walk through the doors with the idea that they are going to run the show. By day five, they’re getting coffee for the phone operators and are asked to stuff envelopes for hours on end—and 110 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK by day six, they are super offended! This is so stupid, they think. We should be doing the REAL jobs, not this mindless junk! The problem is this: Somewhere in our culture we’ve gotten this idea that we don’t have to start at the bottom. We think, Sure, the whole servanthood thing is great for some people, but I’m the exception. I have skills. I have talents. And the people I am working for better notice me or else! The normal rules don’t apply to me. I am different. Maybe it’s our society that has given us this sense of entitlement—that we have the right to certain privileges. Or maybe it’s not our society. Maybe it’s just our “Listen to advice and pride. Think about it: Are accept discipline, and your motives to further the at the end you will be kingdom of God, or are counted among the wise.” — Proverbs 19:20 111 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL If the Bible clearly tells us the key to being great is to be a servant, why are we not all why is to be a servant, key to being great clearly tells us the If the Bible we Could it be us? idea of being a servant just seems beneath Could it be that the not simply it’s servant mean to you? One thing is for sure: What does being a day in and day out. when you serve those around you take on the role of servant You to make you feel He will always set out The enemy hates that fact about Christians. they to look really good to everyone and be the “super-amazing, so-incredibly-awesome so-incredibly-awesome the “super-amazing, and be to everyone good to look really they hero” of everything? why don’t about servanthood, spoke to his disciples this? If Jesus so clearly practicing on this involving for a great story out Matthew 20:20-28 on board? (Check we all jump his disciples.) Jesus and we just Or maybe hard work? that we’re too good to do a little value ourselves so highly boss, a be anyone: a could we might have to serve—after all, it are afraid of the person up the wall . . . period who drives us a homeless person, that kid in fifth teacher, youth after time, I stayed random good deed. It’s not this: “One performing a single, Done off of my list. thing up. Now I can check the ‘being a servant’ group to help clean your life’s to-do off servant isn’t something that you can cross and done.” Being a list—ever. or your siblings. Even pastor, your your family, They may be your parents, your boss, serve. are always in the position to great leaders must remember that they this! don’t deserve “This is so not fair! You ear, mistreated. He will always whisper in your remember one very this?” In those moments, Why are you the only one who has to do At some point you are you serve will be perfect. key thing: not everyone (or even anyone) but the learning and growth that comes from going to feel mistreated or walked all over, its weight in gold. those hard times is worth humbling yourself and submitting during Don’t forget how badly people treated Jesus. Take heart; he has been there. And he is there. And been heart; he has Take Jesus. treated badly people forget how Don’t Are you willing to serve when no one else is watching? What if you never get credit for it? How What if you never get one else is watching? to serve when no Are you willing would you feel about serving then? would you feel about serving 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss encouraging you to follow him. encouraging

112 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 113 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL getting credit for it), whether it’s for your parents, parents, it’s for your it), whether credit for (without getting can do anything you think of Can you 2 . your church, your teachers, or others, that would really bless them this week? Seek out those out those week? Seek them this really bless that would or others, teachers, your your church, here and challenge Write about that thing God move in your life! this week, and watch opportunities make it happen. yourself to hoever “Whoever If you look at strong men and women of the New Testament and from the church the New Testament If you look at strong men and women of Our example is Christ. If the creator of the universe humbled himself and took the and took himself If the creator of the universe humbled Our example is Christ. Jesus really wasn’t kidding when he told his disciples that they had to be servants if to be servants if that they had he told his disciples wasn’t kidding when Jesus really servant’s position, what makes us think we don’t have to? Not a single being on this earth single being on Not a makes us think we don’t have to? servant’s position, what do it, then we do also. is better or higher than God. If he had to Jesus said, often started at the very bottom. history that followed, you see that they throughout history slave,” and great servants “Whoever wants to be first must be your fame, or recognition. They in it for the glory, took that verse and ran with it. They weren’t else mattered, not even Jesus Christ and nothing served because they had a passion for and we are only after we have become servants, their reputations. Greatness only comes and honored up the desire to be recognized able to be true servants after we have given glory right back to for someone who will give the for the work that we do. God is looking him. Are you willing to do that? they wanted to become great. He didn’t say, “If you want to be great, then it might be a to be great, then it might be a “If you want great. He didn’t say, they wanted to become 20:26-28: to serve.” It’s nonnegotiable. Matthew good idea if you learned Our pastor once told our team: “God can get a lot more done when it doesn’t matter more done when “God can get a lot once told our team: Our pastor the hard be willing to do all we Would us all really hard. the credit.” That struck who gets to answer that Our goal is to be able get all the glory? then let someone else work and a resounding yes! question with hoever wants to be first to be wants Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and your servant, and great among you must be wants to become as the Son of to be first must be your slave—just whoever wants and to give his life to be served, but to serve, Man did not come many.” as a ransom for

114 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 115 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL (http://1828. irtue is nothing but voluntary obedience to truth” irtue is nothing but voluntary Ask God to give you an opportunity to serve. We’re talking about doing the things no things no doing the about talking We’re to serve. you an opportunity to give Ask God that he placed desire to give up the would God want me might ask. “Why “What?!” you educa- God’s another very important—but again, unpopular—point: Which brings us to gives this classic definition of virtue: An older version of Webster’s Dictionary “V one else wants to do (and quite possibly not getting paid for it!). If you get discouraged, get discouraged, you paid for it!). If possibly not getting to do (and quite one else wants houses two years cleaning spent Gladys Aylward The famous missionary think of this: for us a passion God gives to China. Sometimes God had called her after she knew it back to him. really strange: give us to do something and then he asks something for greater plan has a far God has the big picture in mind—he in my heart?” Because need. He training you kind of ever imagine. He alone knows the your life than you could and he of your calling, ready to take on the massive responsibility knows when you are to go through to get ready for it. knows what you have of as What we think from ours. God is not limited to a classroom. tion system is different if may have aced every class, but always the way God sees it. You an education is not That isn’t kingdom? in his developed, do you think you will be useful your character isn’t we absolutely our academic education, because to say that we shouldn’t be pouring into relationship with the energy into growing our need to! But we also have to pour as much in the academic classroom. Lord and growing in virtue as we do learning mshaffer.com/d/search/word,virtue). But we will never learn to be obedient without a But we will never learn to be obedient without a mshaffer.com/d/search/word,virtue). That is why we have to pursue building our character strong foundation of character. time in our character and the learning of obedi- with all of our hearts. If we don’t invest gets tough! ence, we won’t stick to it when the going Outlive Your Your (Outlive the called” qualifies He the qualified, doesn’t call “God said: Max Lucado Absolutely how to do everything? the fact that God knows ever thought about Have you it is area, whether in any God brings along. Be ready to serve Be available for whatever ones, at impressive was hosting a group of Christian leaders—and One time our team ). And it’s true. If God tells you to do something, he will provide the training you need the training he will provide to do something, true. If God tells you Life). And it’s faithful that way. to do it. He’s He created space. into outer the first ship the brains that launched . He created everything no one something He also did of the Sistine Chapel. that painted the ceiling the hands to do tells you time God he created an entire world. So the next else has ever done: when you direction? And for don’t know how to do it, why not ask him something and you to accomplish the task before for strength and wisdom completely, rely on him, totally, credit. Give God the there. work wonders in your life. But don’t stop you, you’ll see him may the lowest of the low positions, or God may be serving in You noticeable or hidden. Be ready to be a servant. of great responsibility. call you to a position one of the more famous gentlemen walked over that—at our pastor’s home. After dinner, were shocked! But that was a from the meal! We to the sink and started doing the dishes yet he didn’t think was well known by everyone, truly incredible moment for us. This man attitude, and we are a great example of Christ’s himself too high to simply serve. It was aiming to follow it every day!

116 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 117 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL had the approval of his and had the approval of his Can you think of anyone in history who did amazing things for God in history who did amazing things for God Can you think of anyone What are you passionate about? What are some things you would like to do in your lifetime? you would like to do What are some things passionate about? What are you 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss peers the whole time? Think of a time when you didn’t have the approval of your peers, yet you knew Think of a time when you didn’t have the approval peers the whole time? if it wasn’t worth it, why it worth it? What made it worth doing? Or thing. Was you were doing the right it again? you do not? Would What is your reputation worth to you? Think of a situation in which you let your reputation get in get let your reputation which you situation in Think of a to you? worth is your reputation What the way of doing what you knew God would have wanted you to do. If you were placed in that same in that were placed to do. If you wanted you have God would what you knew of doing the way do differently? what would you situation today, 3 .

118 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 119 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL - Make your own definition of a servant, and write it below. These verses and write it below. of a servant, Make your own definition Luke 16:13; John 13:3-5; 15:20; Romans 14:4; can help shape your definition: 15:8; Galatians 1:10; Colossians 3:22. proval of you? Check out Matthew 10:22. What feelings or thoughts does thoughts does What feelings or Matthew 10:22. you? Check out proval of and mind? bring to your heart this verse Honestly evaluate your reaction to people’s disapproval of you. Although it you. Although disapproval of to people’s evaluate your reaction Honestly someone’s disap do you react to how or even frustrating, can be hurtful My Journal Journal My . How can you take up your cross and be ready to cross and be you take up your . How can now Say you have a strong desire to minister in Africa, but God has not yet has not God but in Africa, to minister desire a strong you have Say to go right unable if you are you do can you. What door for that opened you can do to some things that Write down up Matthew 10:38. now? Look yourself prepare follow Jesus?

120 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 121 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL - For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members and these members body with many members, as each of us has one just For form one body, function, so in Christ we, though many, do not all have the same to have different gifts, according to all the others. We and each member belongs in accor of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy the grace given to each teach; if it is if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then dance with your faith; if it encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; to encourage, then give (Romans 12:4-8) do it cheerfully. if it is to show mercy, is to lead, do it diligently;

he following is an activity that will help you identify your God-given gifts. The apostle gifts. your God-given will help you identify is an activity that he following gives. He wrote: great gifts that God outlined some of the Paul Don’t worry—this kind of thing happens to everyone. You’ll be more careful next time, to everyone. You’ll Don’t worry—this kind of thing happens I’m sure.”

“Do you know why you spilled that? I think I can help you figure it out.” I can help you figure “Do you know why you spilled that? I think “Greg—napkins. Kim—water. Charlie—get another soda for him, please.” “Greg—napkins. Kim—water. “Here, you can have mine since yours spilled.” “Here, you can have mine since yours “Oh no! Let me go get you a new drink and some paper towels.” “Oh no! Let me go get you a new drink “ Let’s set the stage with some fun. The numbered statements below correspond to below correspond some fun. The numbered statements Let’s set the stage with “I knew that was going to happen!” 5 . 6 . 3 . 4 . 1 . 2 . the numbered gifts shown following. Pretend for a moment that you and your friend are and your friend that you shown following. Pretend for a moment the numbered gifts a pass, he goes long for friend in your mom’s kitchen. Just as your playing a little football sending an orange flying across the counter, trips and knocks the fruit bowl all over the closely matches Which one of these most room, knocking over his soda in the process. how you would react? Choose one:

The The Things Little T Aw, I hate when that happens to me. Did it spill on you? I’m sure it will all be OK, it will all I’m sure spill on you? me. Did it to that happens I hate when my Aw, mind.” mom won’t The Little Things: Do you see people around you making bad choices? Pray for them, Pray for choices? you see people around you making bad The Little Things: Do God to are on. Ask they that will help them understand the path and find a Scripture or a few words a simple prayer never know, You words to say. help you have the right their lives. of wisdom might change of God’s people so that you can better know how to prepare for what’s happening in what’s to prepare for better know how so that you can of God’s people Join, in others. working afraid to speak out when you see God the church. Don’t be God! teens who are out to do great things for a support team for or better yet, create their calling. fulfill leader and help people around you up with an adult Team The Little Things: Sometimes we get trapped in the mentality that we should only do in the mentality that The Little Things: Sometimes we get trapped he will reward what But God specifically says something if there’s a reward involved. service team at Don’t just join the big is done in secret. (Check out Matthew 6:1-4!) church, and many more. Remember, even Jesus did not come to be served but to church, and many more. Remember, Truly having first. they are willing to serve serve! No one can truly be like Christ unless ten different ways very own home. Write out a servant’s outlook on life can start in your week. you can serve your parents each day this “ : There are places to serve all over the place! The nursing home, soup kitchen, home, place! The nursing Serving: There are places to serve all over the Match the number of your reaction with the numbered explanation to help you identify to explanation with the numbered number of your reaction Match the : You tune in to what God has to say. Study the Scriptures and the history and the history Study the Scriptures what God has to say. tune in to : You Prophecy 2 . 1 . 7 . your gifts.

122 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 123 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL - The Little Things: The best way to become a good teacher is to learn as much as you as much is to learn best way to become a good teacher The Little Things: The than can and, more as you you’re the expert. Read as many books can. Don’t assume you don’t know when memorize the Bible. There will be times anything, study and those Having needs. but God knows exactly what everyone how to teach someone, others later. memory verses ready can help you help everything! Even if you’re a teacher’s aide, you can change the life of so many of change the life aide, you can Even if you’re a teacher’s everything! storybooks are noticed that many children’s Bible idea: We’ve children. Here’s a cool the facts to your these days. Do some research and present somewhat inaccurate as well. fun facts kids these director and maybe you can teach the church’s children’s program near you. You have a passion for seeing the potential in people and telling program near you. You deal of encour often can use a great them they can do it. Special needs children have an answer and a solution for people’s problems, always The Little Things: You really prayed say anything unless you’ve but the real challenge for you is this: don’t agement. Find a program in your area that helps special needs children follow their that helps special needs children agement. Find a program in your area it! dreams and go encourage them to do church; look for small opportunities to serve everywhere. Try picking up the trash in up the trash picking Try everywhere. to serve small opportunities look for church; and he will reward will, God absolutely you did it, but lot. No one will notice the parking you accordingly! : Help out in your Sunday school ministry. Kids are hungry to learn about are hungry to learn Kids ministry. in your Sunday school : Help out Teaching : Pray about mentoring, babysitting, or helping out at an afterschool out at an afterschool helping Encouragement: Pray about mentoring, babysitting, or 4 . 3 . about it. As people are learning and growing in their own faith, sometimes the best sometimes faith, in their own growing and are learning it. As people about gloss over doesn’t your positivity for them. Make sure can do is just to pray thing you to all— Let God be the encourager need to change. or areas where people real needs on being a focus urgings—and you warnings, or firm strong advice, one who gives and helper! prayer warrior together and find a lesser-known Bible story and make a performance out of it. Or hold Bible story and make a performance out together and find a lesser-known Maybe you could to a local charity. a basketball tournament and give the proceeds The Little Things: What you give doesn’t always have a price tag. A smile or kind word always have a price tag. The Little Things: What you give doesn’t and make a list of the little things you can give Spend some time can go a long way. it will become second nature, If you make a pattern of this, to brighten someone’s day. that matter what you’re doing. Remember and you’ll be able to impact people no for you to give of yourself. sometimes, what people need most is themselves. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to give generously. With a few money to give generously. don’t have to spend a lot of themselves. You Fill in no time. cookies friends, you can whip up several dozen ingredients and some in a homeless shelter to bags with some cookies and take them paper plates or plastic closet your room and in you probably have a hundred things your area. Another idea: shelter to a homeless Bag up those things and distribute them that you never use. or buy that shirt to near you. Bless someone who can’t afford or charity thrift store new notebook. : Use your leadership talent to coach a team or put on a play. Get your friends team or put on a play. Leading: Use your leadership talent to coach a : What a wonderful way to show God’s love! Give to those who cannot get for way to show God’s love! Give to those Giving: What a wonderful 6 . 5 .

124 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 125 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL The Little Things: While your strength might be in showing mercy, don’t forget to be in showing mercy, The Little Things: While your strength might little things in life pile be enough. Don’t let the forgive. Just saying “It’s OK” might not in your heart of Jesus and allow him to work up on you; lay your burdens at the feet and in the lives of those around you. refreshing and substantial when there is a group of prayerful people supporting them. supporting people when there is a group of prayerful refreshing and substantial of prayer will benefit you for but establishing times not be able to see it now, might You and even family, will bless your friends, the rest of your life. The patterns that emerge those in future generations. The Little Things: Every good leader has been, at one time, a careful follower. And just follower. one time, a careful leader has been, at Things: Every good The Little of your from some back doesn’t mean you always should. Step because you can lead God that you can enough before responsibilities and be still. Get quiet self-appointed lead, and practice supporting them in Allow others around you to hear his whisper. that, no matter what. coach a sports skills camp or volunteer as a leader for a summer camp. Trust us, when us, camp. Trust a summer leader for as a or volunteer skills camp a sports coach encourage the gifting to lead and Use your voice and people will listen. you speak, and peers, remember think about your friends Don’t just you right now. people around kids too. the younger : Join a prayer group. In the hardest times in people’s lives, it is In the hardest times in people’s Showing Mercy: Join a prayer group. 7 . There’s no question God has given you gifts. Seek them out! Take a minutea Take out! them Seek gifts. you given has God question no There’s and abilities: feel God could use your gifts to journal how you Look once more at the gifts outlined in this activity. Do you feel one of Do you activity. outlined in this more at the gifts Look once there one that just Or maybe more than one? Is them is really yours? that is similar in Do you believe you have a gift screams your name? Unsure? Ask your parents, these, if not exactly the same? nature to one of or a friend! mentors, youth leaders, Since God gave you the incredible gifts he did, you can be sure he has a be sure he has he did, you can incredible gifts gave you the Since God He has his glory. his kingdom and to build up plan for using them definite so go for it! for your life, plan and purpose an awesome My Journal Journal My

126 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 127 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL

ord . This is what the L . This is what ord sent to anoint you king over his sent to anoint ord people Israel; so listen now to the message from the L so listen now to the people Israel; Samuel said to Saul, “I am the one the L to Saul, “I am the one Samuel said Almighty says: ‘I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they did to Israel when they for what they ‘I will punish the Amalekites Almighty says: the Amalekites and Egypt. Now go, attack as they came up from waylaid them death men belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to totally destroy all that infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.’” and women, children and hundred men and mustered them at Telaim—two So Saul summoned the the city and ten thousand from Judah. Saul went to thousand foot soldiers “Go ambush in the ravine. Then he said to the Kenites, of Amalek and set an destroy you along with them; for you leave the Amalekites so that I do not away, So the the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt.” showed kindness to all moved away from the Amalekites. Kenites near the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, Then Saul attacked the of the Amalekites alive, and all his eastern border of Egypt. He took Agag king (1 Samuel 15:1-8) people he totally destroyed with the sword. King Saul was leading the Israelites in a war against the Amalekites, who were enemies war against the Amalekites, King Saul was leading the Israelites in a of the people of God, the Jews. The prophet Samuel told King Saul not to let any of the Samuel told King Saul of the people of God, the Jews. The prophet evil toward God of their hearts were completely Amalekites live because the intentions he was doing. as we’ll find out, God knew what and his people. This seems harsh, but but to destroy all of the Amalekites’ belongings, He also told King Saul not to take any of them, because they were so defiled. Guard the Gate Gate the Guard A good guess would be that the Amalekites’ stuff captured after the battle must’ve battle the after stuff captured that the Amalekites’ would be guess A good treasure simply such listen. They couldn’t bear to see The Israelites just wouldn’t Not only did he concede to the a step further. Saul took the disobedience Tragically, seemed almost too good to resist. But if it were actually irresistible, God never would God irresistible, But if it were actually too good to resist. seemed almost judge the actions we 10:13). Before out 1 Corinthians this of them (check have required think you’d behave you is: how do for anyone to answer chose, a question the Israelites to chuck go You violent battle. a horrendous, just gone through You’ve in their shoes? This stuff is you have the realization: burn barrel, until junk into a huge all your enemy’s the time it’s a little like can’t just burn this stuff . . . come on! Maybe worth something! You someone piece of that prized shopping with your mom and found you went garage-sale case of the Israelites, with it! Except, in the just got to do something else’s junk! You’ve made possessions their idol . . . nothing to do with it. But they God told them to have sound familiar? They get rid of it all. to that God had warned them to obey and destroyed. No matter for them. be a disaster would their history proved that disobedience ignored the fact that their beloved of any of that. So they begged In the heat of the moment, they didn’t think (or so they thought) plan. And king to let them go through with their well-thought-out he agreed. Agag, to live. When the the Amalekite king, will of the people, he went so far as to allow Samuel then person- actions, he was furious. prophet Samuel caught wind of King Saul’s before Saul lost his have, and it wasn’t long ally took care of Agag the way Saul should God at all costs. perfect, was willing to obey entire kingdom to a man who, while not the shepherd boy who repented. This man was And even when he fell short, he sincerely would one day be king, David.

128 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 129 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL The terrifying outcome of this story comes when we understand that the actions of King of the actions that we understand comes when this story of outcome The terrifying manner. customary in a less than becomes queen in hiding, miraculously a Jew Esther, the truth about goes to the king to confess while anxiously fasting and praying, Esther, world woman that the her a bravery saved her people and made Esther’s courage and he had planned to in the same way in which Her actions led to Haman being executed that Haman descendant of King Saul. Scholars believe see, Esther was a direct You than King David’s calling is any less significant Never for one second believe that your Saul affected more than just those in his lifetime. Let’s fast-forward nearly 500 years later nearly Let’s fast-forward in his lifetime. more than just those Saul affected of Esther took place. events of the Book to when the from her She later hears word chapters 1 and 2.) a story; check out Esther, (It’s quite will wipe has a plan that Haman, advisor, right-hand that her husband’s uncle Mordecai No, in some danger. of people This is no small thing, not just a group out her entire race. . it’s the entire Jewish race unsum- to the king She went beg for mercy on behalf of her people. her heritage and to days could carry the penalty of death. moned, which in those of Purim the Jews, who observe the celebration will never forget, especially every year in her honor. calling? What if she copped out of her kill Mordecai. But what if Esther—like Saul—had to do what she wanted? if she too had chosen had bowed down to man’s approval? What Agag. So it took of the royal line of King was an Agagite, and a direct descendant to complete the job that Saul left unfin- hundreds of years, from King Agag to Esther, ished.. not slack off on the future looks like to you. Let’s or Queen Esther’s, no matter what the

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ou Y beautiful book you Esther 1:19 says, “Let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better to someone else give her royal position says, “Let the king Esther 1:19 given it, it will be fulfill the reality of your calling. If you don’t Consider for a moment ★ Great Sources Great calling God has placed on our lives. Who knows how many lives can be changed for for can be changed many lives how Who knows our lives. placed on God has calling what we choose? bad depending on good or for to replace queen looking for a new said when he was This is what the king than she.” What does that found was Esther. woman he eventually disobedient wife. The his former to you? verse say question now is: will you The only have an amazing opportunity. to someone else. You take it? ★

130 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 131 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL Look up Psalm 73. What does this chapter tell you about how our perception of sin changes What does this chapter tell you about how 73. Look up Psalm Have you noticed that sometimes it seems as if others get away with total, blatant disobedience, get away with total, blatant it seems as if others that sometimes Have you noticed just like King Saul did? Can you give examples? (If you’re in a discussion group, do not use any in a discussion group, examples? (If you’re Saul did? Can you give just like King specific names.) 2 . 1 . Reflect/Discuss Reflect/Discuss when it looks like people around us can do whatever they want and get away with it? around us can do whatever they want and when it looks like people - ): “There they shall be in great fear [literally—dreading a dread], for God for God a dread], fear [literally—dreading be in great they shall ): “There 14:5 (AMP Psalm Read is with the generation of the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those upright and in right standing with standing and in right upright righteous (those [uncompromisingly] of the the generation is with do you think a genera righteous? What to be uncompromisingly do you think it means Him).” What tion can accomplish if God is present with them? if God is present tion can accomplish 3 .

132 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 133 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL ? What can you do to see yourself more through ? What can you do you From the Scriptures shared throughout this Culture Shock event, what this Culture Shock event, the Scriptures shared throughout From is God’s view of Have you ever thought you were nothing special, with no reason for being reason for being special, with no were nothing ever thought you Have you pray journal about, about, way now? Think Do you feel this on earth? like? it feel does or did What time. about that draw or about, talk about, that way? or feel, think you felt, Why do you My Journal Journal My God’s eyes?

he enemy will always come at you by trying to tempt you with the areas where areas where you with the you by trying to tempt will always come at he enemy your destiny stealer .” Maybe call these areas “destiny stealers We you’re weakest.

Often, the things we struggle with the most are the things God wants to give us the to give us wants struggle with the most are the things God Often, the things we and understand what escape normal, we have to recognize But before we can use and he will use fair, enemy doesn’t play Whatever it is, the Or greed. money. is sex. Or God to come in and so critical to allow That’s why it’s against you. your shortcomings overflow with light. filled with darkness so that they can expose those areas worth victories are not these Do not believe—for one second—that biggest victories in. it is so worth fighting difficult the battle, Whatever you struggle with, however fighting for. so that you can walk in Christ’s light. against the darkness take a healthy evaluation of have to are to begin with. We our destiny stealers old mind-sets and habits. can repent and move away from the ourselves before we inwardly examine your heart, because It is absolutely worth taking the time to stealers may not seem to be any big deal, Satan actually although destiny remember, are the most common destiny stealers we uses them to destroy your future. Here have encountered:

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134 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 135 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL

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ible ride uch ust the M basically 16:18) “P “ S humble more desires opposes say verses haughtiness ( person or no (1 K P women older after loved had taining life L were downfall ( 11:1, 2). I 11:1, 2). B ★ ★ ★ ★ How can you overcome the destiny stealers in your life? the destiny stealers in your How can you overcome What do you feel are your biggest destiny stealers? They might be those might be those stealers? They biggest destiny you feel are your What do ones. Journal here. or different similar to them, just listed, My Journal Journal My

136 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 137 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL The destiny stealers in your life are out stealers in your life The destiny The choices and decisions you’re making right now will have eternal implications. eternal implications. you’re making right now will have The choices and decisions the destiny the enemy that say that on, guard yourself against the lies of now From and beautiful turns all of the intense moments He is the author of your life’s novel, with Now is the time to take these destiny stealers to the foot of the cross and ask for and cross of the to the foot stealers destiny to take these is the time Now . This isn’t some small, little thing that doesn’t really matter; these are these arehuge matter; that doesn’t really some small, little thing you. This isn’t to destroy you, if you’ll alongside wants to walk to fear or worry: Christ there isn’t reason battles. But for his help. to him and ask open yourself to destroy you, you’ll against the things in your life that seek If you choose to stand destiny stealers cause. By from the heartache and pain that be able to save yourself at this age, you are literally and in holiness in honesty, purity, choosing to walk in blessing your future. too is just being won’t hurt you or that standing for righteousness stealers in your life the lies of the for that is a refuge assure you: whatever is inside of you extreme. We God absolutely can part of all of this is that enemy must be rooted out. And the amazing for you to fulfill your potential and longs do it! He—more than anyone on earth—knows your destiny. that he has your absolute him him. Trust that make your life uniquely yours. So trust will help you escape and decision by decision, he that, day by day best in mind. Trust normal—forever. Christ’s help. We need to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6) against the things that 6) against the things of God (Ephesians to put on the armor need We Christ’s help. that last part again. us. Quick, read want to destroy These are the things I’m still struggling with, that I need to wrestle in I’m still struggling with, that These are the things prayer over: These are the things that were most impacting to me from this session: to me from were most impacting the things that These are My Journal Journal My

138 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance 139 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” —James 1:2-4

Culture Shock Rewind

e hope you’ve had an awesome time diving into Culture Shock with us, and we pray Wthat God is speaking mightily to you through these sessions! Here are some questions and final thoughts that will help pull together the convictions we believe God wants for a new generation—a generation of young people who are committed to integrity and purity. Fearless Purity a lifestyle that just not having sex. It’s about developing in purity is more than Walking to keeping your heart and mind Are you committed honors God in heart, mind, and body. Purity session, what has come the Fearless pure? Since the time that you went through How are you handling your stand for purity? up that has challenged or might challenge doing in order to that you’re committed to the temptation? Write down three things stay pure: Can you see any ways you’ve hurt other people in your quest for popularity, even though popularity, for you’ve hurt other people in your quest Can you see any ways you think how do hurts you, were justified? The next time someone you felt your actions friend changed your it means to be a real you’ll respond? How has considering what attitude toward others? The Popularity Contest The Popularity Brace for Impact Brace plan for a game to develop about media choices, were you able When your group talked media? spot regarding a tough for the time when you’ll be placed in your future response thinking Culture Shock your had the chance to exercise some of What was it? Have you How’s it going? about your media choices? When you look back to the “Cinderella Lied” session, what lies did you identify that you you what lies did Lied” session, look back to the “Cinderella When you time? List three, to mind since that Have any more come about yourself? were believing praying about. you want to continue or more, that Cinderella Lied, Superman Died Superman Lied, Cinderella

140 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 141 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL We’re rooting for you! This survival guide was written by people who are facing This survival guide was written by people rooting for you! We’re all made mistakes and all had to seek you are. We’ve all the same challenges isn’t us create change in our lives. This road of revolution God seriously to help When we live for ourselves, it actually makes but it’s surprisingly full of joy. easy, you’ll know what we mean. Every If you try it for any length of time, us unhappy. get better and fuller. our lives actually things God’s way, time we choose to do may question your standards, and even give you a hard time about People pure before God, able to say “Yes, them. But just remember: being able to stand And if marriage is in God’s plan I did it—I kept my promises” is worth everything. peace of mind you have when for you, there will be no better feeling than the to able or wife on your wedding day, you can look into the eyes of your husband say “I’ve kept myself pure for you.” goals! Commit to purity and So don’t let anyone make you lose sight of your for God. a stand for a life lived uncompromisingly Take integrity. inal thoughts from our team: Final thoughts from Since the need in this world is so great, sometimes the idea of serving seems daunting. seems daunting. the idea of serving so great, sometimes need in this world is Since the for your mom or dad like doing the dishes the little things, you can start with But really, you can start doing? three small things school. What are up trash around your or picking an awesome be setting but you’ll world overnight, not change your it might Remember, your parents! plus totally blessing those around you, example for Escaping Normal Escaping 142 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK 143 ✩ ESCAPING NORMAL Pictured (L to R): Katherine Lockhart, Timothy Warner, Julie Hiramine, Warner, Pictured (L to R): Katherine Lockhart, Timothy

Alberson, Kelsey Roberts, Sara Raley, Isaac Roberts, and Megan Briggs. Sara Raley, Roberts, Courtney Alberson, Kelsey

he Generations of Virtue Team probably isn’t what you’d expect. We’re just your average just your you’d expect. We’re probably isn’t what of Virtue Team he Generations spreading God’s passionate about Jesus freaks who are coffee-addicted globe-trotting,

To find out more about us and our mission, programs, resources, and publications, go publications, and about us and our mission, programs, resources, find out more To message of purity and holiness to youth, parents, and pretty much anyone who will listen.and pretty much anyone to youth, parents, purity and holiness message of Colorado. in Colorado Springs, live, work and play on the road, we When we aren’t to www.generationsofvirtue.org.

About Generations of Virtue Virtue of Generations About T 144 ✩ CULTURE SHOCK