Won’t you be my neighbor? The wisdom of By Connie Green

hirty years ago, when I was a young mother— Lifetime Achievement Award from the National T poor, pregnant, and generally not feeling too Academy of Television Art and Sciences, and induc- good about myself—I often watched “Mister tion into the Television Hall of Fame. Rogers’ Neighborhood” with my 2-year-old, Christy. His well-loved children’s program, “Mister Rogers’ Mister Rogers would look me straight in the eye Neighborhood,” is the longest-running show on pub- and tell me that I was special, that he liked me just lic television. Rogers also received more than 40 hon- the way I was. I might have started the half hour orary doctorates from colleges and universities. feeling sad and sorry for myself, but by the time the But it was not the “fancy outsides” of life that trolley chugged back from the Neighborhood of nourished Rogers’ soul; it was the giving to and Make-Believe, I was smiling. I think Christy enjoyed receiving from others, and sharing the power of love the show, too. and acceptance that gave his life meaning. He helped As an early childhood educator, I have long children and adults know that the essence of charac- admired Rogers’ work with young children, fami- ter development is “knowing that we can be trusted, lies, and teachers. He was one of the Þrst public Þg- that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock ures to communicate to families the importance of of our very being is good stuff” (Laskas 1996). emotional development and the need for adults to Rogers was a composer, lyricist, writer, minister, listen to children’s feelings. psychologist, puppeteer, producer, reluctant celebri- He inßuenced my teaching by modeling ways to ty, and America’s favorite neighbor (Barish 2004). slow down and talk with children about their con- According to those who knew him, he was the same cerns and the issues they face as they grow. From offstage as on, a soft-spoken, genuinely great guy. Mister Rogers, I learned about the importance of Though he died Feb. 27, 2003, his shows continue fostering self-esteem, accepting individual differ- to air, inßuencing the lives of millions of children ences, and sharing the beauty of the world in ways and their families. I believe his greatest contribution preschoolers can understand. was illuminating for children and families the sig- niÞcance of affective development and the power of Someone special to America human relationships. Fred Rogers is an American hero. One of his Most children watch network television cartoons sweaters, knitted by his mother, hangs in the and commercials for several hours a day. They con- Smithsonian Institution. He received every major tain many underlying messages: You can have a sat- award in television for which he was eligible, isfying life only by acquiring lots of stuff. Physical including the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the force gives power. Violence and sarcasm are funny.

2 TEXAS CHILD CARE / WINTER 2004 • • • As human beings, our job is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression. —Fred Rogers

TEXAS CHILD CARE / WINTER 2004 3 In contrast, “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” offers Rogers married his college sweetheart, Joanne, in messages of love, acceptance, cooperation, and liv- 1952, and they had two sons. He kept his family life ing in community. He shares the beauty of the nat- private from his television friends but would ural world, the wonder of the mechanical world, answer children’s questions about his personal life and the importance of imagination. when they wrote to him. However, he often talked about his own childhood, showed photographs of Sickly in his early years himself as a child, and recounted feelings and Fred McFeely Rogers was born in 1928 into a doubts he had growing up. wealthy family in a small town near . Rogers was an overweight and sickly child, spend- The “Neighborhood” show ing one summer entirely indoors in an air-condi- The earliest prototype of his own show was called tioned bedroom because of asthma. His school years “Misterogers,” a 15-minute production resembling were disrupted by three-month winter trips to the make-believe segment of the later show. In 1967 Florida until he entered high school. Growing up, the Sears-Roebuck Foundation agreed to provide Rogers found that he could work through life’s trau- funding for “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” and mas with puppets and music (Laskas 1996). made it available to public television stations He studied musical composition at Rollins College nationally. By the 1990s it was aired on 290 stations in Florida and had been accepted into a Presbyterian and watched by more than eight million people seminary after graduation. But during his senior weekly. year, in 1951, he saw television for the Þrst time in “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” follows a pattern his parents’ home. “And I just hated it,” he said. “I and a leisurely pace, reassuring for the target audi- looked at those people on television throwing pies ence of 3- to 6-year-olds. The show begins with a into each other’s faces. And I thought: I’m just going view of a comfortable little town, devoid of trafÞc to go into television! And everyone was so ßabber- except for a red trolley. As the music builds to a gasted. Because literally, I was supposed to start crescendo, the camera zooms in on a little brown seminary in September” (Laskas 1996). house. Suddenly we seem to be inside the house After graduation Rogers moved to New York and with a trafÞc light blinking. got a job at NBC, working his way up to ßoor direc- The camera moves across a familiar room, past a tor in two years. In 1953 he returned to Pittsburgh closet, and to a door that opens to a smiling Mister and got a job with WQED, the nation’s Þrst commu- Rogers, who enters grandly. He sings “It’s a nity-supported public television station. He helped Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood,” while remov- develop a show called “The Children’s Corner” ing his jacket and selecting a comfortable sweater with Josie Carey. Rogers brought his own puppets from a closet that holds only sweaters. The change to use on the show—Daniel Striped Tiger, King from jacket and dress shoes to sweater and sneakers Friday the 13th, X the Owl, and Henrietta Pussycat, are important transitions, signaling to children that precursors to the puppets still seen on the Mister Rogers has a grown-up life somewhere, but “Neighborhood” show. that he has set aside this time to talk to them. He is During this period Rogers attended seminary and inviting them into a “safe, familiar, and caring began studying child development. He consulted world” (Townley 1996). with child psychologist Margaret McFarland almost Mister Rogers looks directly into the camera and daily until her death in 1987. She once said that speaks to his child audience about the topic of the Rogers was more in touch with his own childhood day. (At this point in the show, many children than anyone she had ever known. Rogers also believe that Mister Rogers is speaking directly to sought advice from notable early childhood educa- them.) Mr. McFeely, “speedy delivery,” often brings tors such as , Erik Erickson, T. Berry a package pertaining in some way to the topic of the Brazelton, and Vivian Paley. In 1963 he was day, an interesting videotape, or an invitation to ordained a Presbyterian minister with the special visit a fascinating person or place. charge of ministering to children and families Mister Rogers might visit a pretzel or toothbrush through television. factory to show children how objects relevant to

4 TEXAS CHILD CARE / WINTER 2004 • • • You know how different we all are. But I think that’s what helps us to be friends—because we are so different. I can’t be exactly like Elsie Neil or Chef Brockett or Bob Trow or any of my other friends. That’s why I need them to be my friends—because we are so different. It is the same way with you. I can’t be you. That’s why I need you for my friend. —Fred Rogers their lives are made. Other times he might call on a subtly deals with children’s complex feelings and Hindu dancer, an artist in her studio, an opera com- the challenges of learning and growing. pany, or cellist Yo-Yo Ma, a frequent guest. The trolley rolls back through a tunnel and Returning to his television house, Mister Rogers returns to Rogers’ television house. After a few suggests something to pretend that day related to relaxed comments, there is another transitional the documentary segment. By explaining what they song. Mister Rogers sings “It’s such a good feeling” are going to make believe, Rogers conveys the mes- as he changes back into jacket and dress shoes and sage that children are in control of their imaginary leaves through the door he entered 30 minutes earli- play. The trolley signals the transition from the real er. He waves goodbye, reassuring children that he world to the imaginary world. will see them “next time.” If Mister Rogers visits a dentist at the beginning of the show, one of the puppets in the Neighborhood Mister Rogers’ message of Make-Believe might express fear of dentists. Lady “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” was planned in week- Aberline, a human character in make-believe, would ly segments around themes such as “the mad you listen and explain what really happens at the den- feel,” “understanding divorce,” “going to school,” “the tist’s ofÞce. The make-believe portion of the show environment,” “kindness,” and “conßict.” Events in

TEXAS CHILD CARE / WINTER 2004 5 the Neighborhood sometimes added unexpected, but are not afraid to be vulnerable. That is seen as a sign meaningful, lessons to the show. When one of the Þsh of growth, of learning about ourselves. Power in his tank died, Mister Rogers had the cameras zoom comes from having the ability to love and be loved, in and took the opportunity to explain the process of to build relationships with others, to cooperate and death to his young audience. live in community (Wehmiller 1996). Mister Rogers believed in being honest with chil- The challenge of self-acceptance is enlarged on the dren in as simple terms as possible. He demystiÞed Neighborhood to include the acceptance of others. the mechanical trolley and video games by demon- Rogers emphasizes how important it is to have strating their inner workings and on more than one neighbors who are different from oneself. occasion showed the studio where the program was Þlmed. On a day when he had a bandaged hand, a You know how different we all are. But I think puppet character said she was afraid of having a that’s what helps us to be friends—because we are bandage. Lady Aberline attached and removed a so different. I can’t be exactly like Elsie Neil or bandage from her hand and face, explaining that Chef Brockett or Bob Trow or any of my other she was still the same underneath and that her skin friends. That’s why I need them to be my friends— did not go away when she wore a bandage. because we are so different. It is the same way Rogers’ message of acceptance included apprecia- with you. I can’t be you. That’s why I need you for tion of self and others. He believed the body was my friend (Wehmiller 1996). inseparable from the real person, as exempliÞed in the songs “Your Body’s Fancy and So Is Mine” and Sometimes children, especially those with disabili- “Everything Grows Together.” ties, were invited to visit the studio. One morning, This concept is important to toddlers and preschool- 11-year-old Brian and his mother arrived at the stu- ers who are mastering control of their bodies and dio from Texas. Brian had Williams Syndrome, their emotions and Þnding delight in their growing which causes heart problems and cognitive delays. capabilities. They are learning to say what they think He greeted his television friend by asking, “I am and feel, to control the urge to hit or bite, and to mas- special, aren’t I, Mister Rogers?” ter walking, running, climbing and riding a bike. Rogers responded, “Yes, you are.” Together they Sometimes parents would write to Mister Rogers sang the song “You are my friend, you are spe- on behalf of their young children, sharing the child’s cial…” with Rogers’ arm gently around Brian. joy in developing new abilities such as drawing or Rogers talked with Brian and showed him around riding a bike, mastering fears, or learning to use the the studio until a producer urged a beginning of the toilet. One 4-year-old simply wrote, “Dear Mister workday. After agreeing that they would probably Rogers, I don’t wet the bed anymore” (Rogers 1996). not see one another in person again, Mister Rogers Mister Rogers does not so much tell his viewers assured the boy that they could still be television how to live as he raises questions about “what it friends. Before Brian departed, Rogers looked him might mean to have a full and abundant life” (Guy in the eye and told him. “You blessed my space 1996). He doesn’t force his answers on children but today, Brian” (Laskas 1996). Throughout his career, rather offers his own insights and leaves the deci- Rogers demonstrated unconditional acceptance of sions to the audience. others, whether on or off the camera. Once Daniel Striped Tiger, the most timid and Mister Rogers also helped children understand vulnerable of the puppets, questioned whether he that other people have needs like our own that might be some kind of mistake because he was tame should be respected. Through his work, he “pro- and shy and did not look like other tigers. On a sim- claimed an ethic of challenge and responsibility” ilar occasion when another puppet character doubts (Guy 1996). Mister Rogers shared his expertise as a her importance, Rogers tells her, “We need you to be puppeteer and musician with children in his audi- who you are.” This may be not only a human afÞr- ence and introduced them to many talented people, mation but also a recognition of the holy within such as jazz pianist Ellis Marsalis and children’s each of us (Guy 1996). musician Ella Jenkins. In Mister Rogers’ world, the true heroes are those When he showed something that humans can who express misgivings and self-doubt, those who do—make candles or knit sweaters—he suggested

6 TEXAS CHILD CARE / WINTER 2004 that children can learn to create these things, too, but References not without hard work and growth. The lyrics from Barish, H. (executive producer). 2004, Jan. 1. “Fred the song “You Can Do It” represents this belief: Rogers: America’s favorite neighbor [television broadcast].” Pittsburgh, Pa.: Family You can make believe it happens or pretend that Communications and WQED Multimedia. something’s true. Guy, W. 1996. The Theology of Mister Rogers’ You can wish or hope or contemplate a thing Neighborhood. In M. Collins and M. M. Kimmel you’d like to do. (eds.), Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood: Children, But until you start to do it, you will never see it Television, and Fred Rogers. Pittsburgh, Pa.: through Press. ‘cause the make-believe pretending just won’t do it Laskas, J. M. 1996. What is essential is invisible to for you. the eye. In M. Collins and M. M. Kimmel (eds.), You’ve got to do it. Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood: Children, Television, and Ev’ry little bit you’ve got to do it, do it, do it, do it. Fred Rogers. Pittsburgh, Pa.: University of And when you’re through, you can know who did it, Pittsburgh Press. for you did it, you did it , you did it (Rogers 1969). Rogers, F. 2003. The World According to Mister Rogers. New York: Hyperion. One important gift that early childhood teachers can Rogers, F. 1996. Dear Mister Rogers, Does It Ever Rain give to young children is their passion for what they in Your Neighborhood? New York: Penguin. love to do, whether that is sewing, woodwork, art, Rogers, F. 1994. That which is essential is invisible to or playing an instrument. By loving what you do in the eye. Young Children, 49 (5): 33. the midst of children, you are showing them healthy Rogers, F. 1969. You’ve got to do it. In Mister Rogers’ ways of expressing their feelings and making a con- Songbook. Milwaukee, Wis.: Hal-Leonard Corp. tribution to the world. It is the kind of gift we can Townley, R. 1996. Fred’s shoes: The meaning of tran- give children that will last forever. “It’s the spirit sitions in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. In M. that gives that kind of gift its wings” (Rogers 1994). Collins and M. M. Kimmel (eds.), Mister Rogers’ Today I am a grandmother and teacher educator. Neighborhood: Children, Television, and Fred Rogers. When I happen to be home at 11:30 on a weekday, I Pittsburgh, Pa.: University of Pittsburgh Press. watch my all-time favorite television program, Wehmiller, P. L. 1996. Keeper of the dream. In M. “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” In my personal and Collins and M. M. Kimmel (eds.), Mister Rogers’ professional life, I encounter people of many ages, Neighborhood: Children, Television, and Fred Rogers. cultures, belief systems, and economic backgrounds. Pittsburgh, Pa.: University of Pittsburgh Press. I have found that the wisdom of Fred Rogers can The Williams Syndrome Association, be an ideal I aspire to in my relationship with http://www.williams-syndrome.org/. myself and others. One of my favorite quotations from Mister Rogers that applies to our work with About the author children and adults can be found in The World Connie Green is a professor in the Department of According to Mister Rogers. Language, Reading, and Exceptionalities and the birth through kindergarten program at Appalachian As human beings, our job is to help people realize State University in Boone, N.C. This year she is how rare and valuable each one of us really is, teaching prekindergarten in a public school in rural that each of us has something that no one else Appalachia. has—or ever will have—something inside that is unique to all time. It’s our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression (Rogers 2003).

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