1472 FELIX 05.11.10 the Student Voice of Imperial College London Since 1949

“Keep the Cat Free” ISSUE 1472 FELIX 05.11.10 The student voice of Imperial College London since 1949

Union Council Prof Nutt makes waves President floats idea of Graduate supports lifting of with ‘alcohol worse diverting Union profits unemployment reaches tuition fees cap than heroin’ claim to bursary scheme high of 8.9% Higher Education Policy is passed at Assessment of societal and individual Using Union profits to fund bursaries for Graduates face toughest job market Council, confirming the Union’s backing harm shows that alcohol is the most poor students meets strong opposition since 1993 as almost 1 in 10 gradu- for the Browne Review . Page 3 dangerous drug, says Prof Nutt. Page 3 at Union Council. Page 4 ates remain unemployed. Page 6 SCIENCE INTERVIEW SPECIAL REPORT By Ian Wei Mark Field MP on representing THE GROWING Imperial Page 5 Dreaming starts in the womb says new VISA CRISIS research: Page 8 AT IMPERIAL COMMENT

he 20th of October. Thousands of protestors are cuts in this period of austerity, with Osborne stat- rallying outside Westminster in an effort to con- ing “Britain is a world leader in scientifi c research vince the government that their proposed cuts to and that is vital to our future economic success”, the scientifi c budget would have fatal implications the future of science seems bright. Those working on the world class reputation and research of UK in research and academia, however, have a much universities. They suceeded. The result was George gloomier forecast. Osborne freezing the science budget in cash terms Research is unlike other disciplines in that many for four years, equating to a decrease in funding of positions are highly specialized. Whereas in many Were the French T less than 10%, over that period. Spared from major ...Continued on Page 6 right to strike last October?: Page 16 Firefox add-on leaves private student data open to snoopers POLITICS Unsecured Department of Computing network at hijacking app FireSheep’s mercy

Alex Karapetian and wireless networks can result in the Transmitting data over a wireless net- disclosure of personal information. Fe- work results in virtual packets being Wireless network security has very often lix was able to use FireSheep in certain sent between the base stations and the The Imperial College been the subject of criticism, and a proof areas on campus to gain access to over user’s machine. These packets are prone of concept tool released two weeks ago twenty unsuspecting users’ Facebook, to inspection and capture, and if no form of North Korea?: called FireSheep outlined how a combi- Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr and Gmail ac- of wireless encryption is... nation of security problems on websites counts. ...Continued on Page 4 Page 13 2 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX HIGHLIGHTS On campus EDITOR’S PICK Union Competition Teaching Awards Green Week

The awards for Teaching Excellence for NHS Teach- ers celebrate the efforts of over 800 NHS staff in Photo Competition West London who help deliver the curriculum for un- dergraduate medical education at Imperial. In addi- To celebrate Green Week (22nd – 26th November) the tion, there will also be the inaugural lecture of Prof Union is running a Green Photo Competition. Take photos Karim Meeran on Gila monsters, neuropeptides of anything around College that is environmentally friendly and Margaret Thatcher. under the following categories: Energy, Recycling, The Natural Environment, Water. Include a 30 word caption with your photos and ensure G16 Sir Alexander Fleming Building that your photos are of the highest resolution possible. The top 10 photos in each category will be displayed 10 November 17:30-20:30 in the College Entrance in an exhibition unveiled at the beginning of Green Week. Send your photos to Lord Flowers Memorial [email protected]

The physicist Lord Flow- ers, who led Imperial as Rector for 12 years from Lolcat of teh week 1973, died earlier this year at the age of 85. A memorial is being held in celebration of one of ‘Funding Our Future’ Rally Imperial’s longest serv- ing Rectors. Speakers in- clude Sir Keith O’Nions. On Wednesday 10th November, students from all over Britain will be Registration in advance. marching through the streets of London to protest against the govern- Contact amna.siddiq@ ment policy to slash the higher education budget. The ‘Funding our imperial.ac.uk Future’ rally is being organized by the National Union of Students and University and College Union and is intended to defend education from these ‘devastating cuts’. Great Hall To offset the 40% cut in the university teaching budget announced in the Comprehensive Spending Review, education minister David Wil- 11 November 14:30-15:30 letts announced on Tuesday that the cap on university fees will be raised to £9,000. The NUS argues that this will place an unfair burden onto the shoul- University Challenge trials ders of students, who will already face hardship in the wake of reduced government spending. NUS President Aaron Porter said: ‘The Govern- The selection for the University Challenge team will ment’s approach to funding our colleges and universities is short-sight- be organized through faculties this year, before an ed, illogical and unfair. Together we will let politicians know that we will intense inter-faculty final on the 22nd November. not tolerate their failure to fund our future.’ The RCSU trial is on 8th November, 17:30 in SAF Response to the rally from Imperial College Union has been luke- G.34. The ICSMU trial is on 9th November, 19:30 in warm. President Alex Kendall said: “we do not yet have a stance on Reynolds Bar. The RSMU trial is on 11th November, the cuts [to higher education], as more information needs to be given 18:00 in RSM G.41 and the CGCU trial is on 15th as to where these cuts will fall.” November, 12:00 in Chem Eng LT1. Imperial College Union will be making students aware of the protest as they “welcome the maintenance in research funding which is vital Inter-faculty Finals for research led teaching”. However, they will not be encouraging stu- dents to march, leaving the decision of whether to attend or not up to G34 Sir Alexander Fleming Building individuals. Anna Perman 22 November 10 November - Horse Guards Avenue - 11:30am

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by The Harmsworth Printing Ltd, Northcliffe House, Meadow Road, Derby. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. FELIX Copyright © Felix 2010.

Editor-in-Chief Kadhim Shubber Deputy Editor Gilead Amit Copy Chief Lizzy Griffiths Assistant Editor Dan Wan News Editors Alex Karapetian Matt Colvin Layout/Design Editor Veronika McQuadeova Features Editor Lizzie Crouch Sports Editors Jovan Nedic David Wilson Science Editors Katya-yani Vyas James Goldsack Business Editors Sina Ataherian Afonso Campos Politics Editors Hassan Joudi James Lees Rory Fenton Rajat Jain Technology Editor Samuel Gibbs Comment Editor Anna Perman Arts Editor Rox Middleton Music Editors Greg Power Christopher Walmsley Luke Turner Film Editors Matt Allinson Jade Hoffman Ed Knock Fashion Editor Saskia Verhagen Games Editor Simon Worthington Online Editors Niharika Midha Ravi Pall Chris Birkett International Editor Kenneth Lee Puzzles Captains Polly Bennett James Hook Aman Nahar Photo Editor Thomas Welch Travel Editors Dylan Lowe Chris Richardson

Special thanks to: Afonso Campos, Lizzy Griffiths, Alex Nowbar, Shruti Mishra, Alex Karapetian, Ian Wei, Matt Allinson, Simon Worthington and Gilead Amit. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 3 NEWS Council backs fees rise Photo by David Robertson Union Council passes policy supporting Browne Review, including uncapped fees

Maciej Matuszewski

This week Imperial College Union Council accepted Union President Alex Kendall’s Higher Education Funding Policy paper. The paper broadly sup- ported the Browne Review, with Ken- dall warning against “reactionary” behaviour similar to that of the NUS, Prof Nutt: alcohol suggesting that students should be pre- pared to “work with universities, not against them”. worse than heroin The Council did, however, recognise some problems with Browne’s report. campaign for students’ means to be cal- while we must “accept different rates for Kendall specifi cally thought that “post- culated based on family size as well as different universities”, these differences Matt Colvin politicians who he accused of misrepre- graduate students should be included in total income, to help ‘medium income’ will not be as great as feared. senting research in order to manipulate a government spending review”. families from which many children go The impact on EU students, however, Imperial professor and former govern- drugs legislation. When asked whether Much was also said about the psycho- to university. was recognised to be possibly greater ment adviser David Nutt has pitted him- he believed that the new coalition gov- logical impact of greatly increased fees The discussion then turned to the pos- than on UK students, because they have self against current drugs classifi cation ernment would be more accepting of the on poorer students. Kendall argued that sibility that better universities, such as less access to support. Imperial’s increas- once again by claiming that alcohol is latest fi ndings, especially after the recent “what matters is what you’ll actually Imperial, might charge more for de- ing fees might drive them to cheaper UK more harmful than various illegal sub- government budget freeze for science, pay, not the maximum possible fees”, grees than less academically accom- universities, or universities in their own stances in a newly released report. Professor Nutt, speaking to Felix, said, pointing out that under Browne’s pro- plished ones. Several council members countries (where higher education is of- The study, published in peer-reviewed “I think so. The Liberal Democrats have posals the amount students pay will be argued that universities are not purely ten free), causing the College to lose its medical journal The Lancet, was co- always wanted independent scientifi c ad- tied to their income, which will be es- capitalistic systems, and that increasing reputation as an “international univer- authored by Professor Nutt and provides vice on drugs” before adding that, “the pecially helpful to those who wish to go fees would not lower student numbers, sity”. Kendall, however, rebutted that a list of 20 drugs ranked with respect to Tories are more drug-experienced than into “socially useful” but low paid jobs (which might be a disincentive), but “Imperial runs on reputation more than their harm, both personal and to society old Labour”. such as teaching. Indeed it is estimated simply increase the proportion of richer money” and that increased fees would in general. A wide range of topics were Claims against the fi ndings have been that more than 30 percent of people will students. It was, however, pointed out be invested in improving this reputation, investigated, including the risk of addic- made to the BBC by a spokesman for never have to pay back the full amount that if Imperial was to gain a reputa- therefore maintaining student numbers. tion and crime. Findings revealed that the Wine and Spirit Trade Association, they owe. He did, however, agree that tion for attracting mainly rich students, The higher education funding situa- heroin, crack and methamphetamine who argues that, “Professor Nutt and many potential students are not aware the loss of highly able but less well off tion was ambiguous at the time of the were the most harmful drugs to an in- his colleagues risk switching people off of this, and that there is “not enough students, would in itself act as a disin- debate, so Council was very clear to dividual while alcohol, heroin and crack from considering the real issues and the information about bursaries” and other centive. Browne’s suggested levy on state that by accepting Kendall’s paper it were most harmful to others. However real action that is needed to tackle alco- means of support. The Council agreed universities charging excessive fees was was not setting a permanent Union fund- taking both factors into account revealed hol misuse”. In response to this, Profes- that “getting information to schools” also mentioned as a reason why Impe- ing strategy. Amendments to its policies that alcohol was the most harmful drug sor Nutt told Felix that the association is should be one of Union’s and Impe- rial’s fees would not become unreason- are likely after the government fi nalises overall. The report goes on to argue “running scared. They can’t argue with rial’s biggest priorities. It also agreed to able. The general consensus was that its plans (see below). against current drug classifi cations, the science so they are trying defl ection.” claiming that they “have little relation” When asked about the report itself and to the evidence of their actual harm. how the ready availability of alcohol This is not the fi rst time Professor was taken into account and what effect Nutt has contradicted current govern- this had on social harm, Professor Nutt ment drugs legislation. He caused some stated that, “most of the harms to others Government keeps fees cap controversy amongst government min- are affected by availability”. isters in February 2009 when the Home This debate arrives as Imperial Col- Offi ce body that he chaired suggested lege Union launches a new website, Zainab Ali funds and a complete cut to funding in a ‘public benefi t’ by taking more stu- downgrading ecstasy from a class A to a yourlimits.co.uk, that seeks to advise humanities. The higher fees will enable dents from disadvantaged backgrounds, class B drug. This followed a compari- students on the potential risks associated The UK coalition government has re- universities to supply more bursaries, so but its implication that university appli- son between the risks of using the drug with drug and alcohol use. Ravi Pall, jected the Browne Review’s proposal should not dissuade prospective students cation will now be based on means as to those associated with horse riding. Deputy President (Finance & Services) of unlimited tuition fees in favour of a from going to university. However, well as merit is controversial. He was then sacked from his position as explained to Felix the reasoning behind £9,000 cap. there are fears that students will be put The announcement was offi cially chief drugs adviser in October 2009, by the creation of the website: “We created In an announcement on Wednesday, off by the estimated £40,000 debt caused made to the House of Commons by then Home Secretary Alan Johnson, after the Limits website as an additional tool the proposal of a free market for tuition by a three year degree course. Although David Willetts, the Universities and suggesting, in a similar fashion to the lat- to raise the awareness of potential situa- fees was rejected as it was seen to be un- the repayment threshold will be raised Science Minister, who said that the pro- est report, that alcohol and tobacco were tions students may encounter.” sustainable and expensive. The govern- from £15,000 to £21,000 per year with posal “will put universities’ fi nance on more harmful than many illegal drugs. “We see this being particularly use- ment was compelled to come to a fi nal a 9% repayment rate, graduates may a sustainable footing with extra free- Following his dismissal, Professor ful for new students, who may not have decision that would be quick to imple- spend 30 years paying off their debt be- doms and less bureaucracy”. Aaron Por- Nutt sought to continue his research been exposed to the culture created by ment so that it would be in place for fees fore it is cancelled. ter, President of the National Union of unhindered by governmental infl uence, others. It provides helpful advice for stu- in 2012. Raising the tuition fee cap will The Liberal Democrats, who initially Students, feels that the proposal will be forming the Independent Scientifi c dents, and will be heavily tied into the not require a change in legislation, so pledged to have no fees at all, proposed “saddling a generation with huge debts Committee on Drugs which seeks to of- marketing for our new night-club, bars can be put into place quickly. a cap of £7000, however as some uni- before they have even got on their bikes fer ‘impartial objective information on and ents program.” Many universities feel that this versities saw this to be inadequate and to fi nd work.” The NUS are opposed drugs and drug harms to the public’ but It remains to be seen whether such a amount is necessary to cover the costs threatened to privatise, a maximum fee to any rise in fees and will be holding ‘free from political pressures’. willingness to educate students on the of fi nancing education, especially after of £9000 was agreed. Universities who a protest in Central London on Wednes- At the time of his dismissal last year, risks of alcohol will tempt Professor the government cuts of 40% to teaching wish to charge this fee will have to make day the 10th. Professor Nutt was highly critical of Nutt to have a pint in the newly opened FiveSixEight. 4 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX

News Editors: Matt Colvin Alex Karapetian NEWS [email protected] In brief Unsecured networks leave Should Union profi ts pay for student bursaries? student data at risk Union President Alex Kendall’s plans to consider us- Photo by Kadhim Shubber ing “a proportion of the Union’s commercial services ...Continued from Front Page profi ts to fund bursaries” received a mixed reception being used, such as WPA, the captured packets at this week’s Union Council meeting. The money can be analysed effortlessly to derive the data would be given to the college to use as part of its which is being transmitted. This could equate bursary scheme in order to eliminate logistical diffi - to a Facebook status, a downloaded E-mail or culties in deciding which students should receive it, even background information such as a cookie but many were ideologically opposed to giving away authenticating the user to the website. Union funds. The problem lies here, as Felix tested this tool The opposition was lead by Deputy President for around various parts of the campus. FireSheep Finance and Services, Ravi Pall. It is his belief that is a Firefox extension which appears as a side- the money made by bars and shops should be rein- bar in the popular Internet browser. The side- vested in these same services, improving them for bar hides the complexities of packet inspection the benefi t of students. from the user and performs various tasks in RCSU representatives were also worried that if the background. It requires a packet captur- the Union gave away some of its money the College ing driver to be installed, called WinPCap, and would believe that it has a surplus, and therefore cut using this, it monitors all traffi c visible to the its £1.2 million subsidy, which is completely sepa- machine’s network card (particularly packet rate from the commercial profi ts. Kendall stated that data corresponding to other users on the same he didn’t believe that the College would take this wireless network) and attempts to hijack ses- “immoral” course of action. He also dismissed Pall’s sion cookies for websites. claims that the subsidy might be reduced in the Should an unsuspecting user log in to one of future for other reasons, meaning that the profi ts the listed services over the same network the would be needed for running the union, as unlikely. hijacker is on, their picture and username will Many were also concerned that giving Union mon- be displayed in the sidebar and the hijacker can ey to just some violated the Union’s mandate to gain access to the service, fully authenticated help all. Supporters of the policy argued that a large as the person captured, by simply double click- proportion of students, (about 40 percent), would ing on the name in the sidebar. have access to the bursaries, and that helping the Felix was not able to successfully use the neediest was clearly the right thing to do. There was, tool over the Imperial-WPA wireless network however, a lot of anxiety about the possibility of fail- on campus, since packets are encrypted with ing international students, who would be unable to protection, although this type of network is access many of the bursaries. still vulnerable to other types of attacks. The Pall’s motion that this issue should not be dis- IC-DoC network, situated in the Department of FireSheep allows rather more subtle Facebook snooping than this cussed at further Council meetings as it would be a Computing in the Huxley building, however, is waste of time was defeated by a large majority. The unsecured. As a result, Felix was able to use fi nal decision on whether to support the bursaries, the tool to its full extent. Armed with an old cessible by anyone else. I expected the depart- crypted session on a website without SSL. however, will be left until the College and govern- laptop with a network card that allowed captur- ment would have measures to protect against He explained that the IC-DoC network is ment fi nalise their higher education funding policies. ing packets in ‘promiscuous mode’, where the this’, adding ‘I think it’s a travesty how they unsecured to allow test devices, research ma- Judging by this week’s events, the debate over that user has access to all packets visible to the card have unprotected wireless. It should be WPA.’ chines and robots that are not compatible with decision is likely to be heated. (some laptops protect against this), screen- Upon explaining the alternative of using the encryption to connect to networked resources Maciej Matuszewski shots of private messages within Facebook ac- Imperial-WPA network, Josh added ‘I would or be controlled over the wireless network. counts, phone numbers from ‘numbers please’ use it but the signal strength of IC-DoC is Coverage issues with the DoC network can groups and other private information, Felix stronger so it’s my fi rst point of call. I have be investigated and fi xed, but ultimately, for a approached Computing’s security team (CSG) good speed, but it seems I lose my privacy reasonable expectation of security, the entire Metric launch date announced and Imperial’s ICT security for a response. as a result.’ Commenting on the tool itself, he session from the moment the website is visited Regarding the FireSheep tool, ICT comment- said ‘it’s quite a scary prospect that the author must be encrypted, not just the authentication ed that it is ‘very interesting’, and that ‘unen- has made it so simple and put it out there. It and login. After a summer of construction work and successive crypted wireless networks have always been a means anyone can do it without knowing how ‘Don’t panic’, he added, explaining that the delays, the Union has fi nally set a date for the long- security issue, but they’ve never been so high it works. Pretty much everyone’s bound to be attack has existed for many years, and that us- overdue launch of Metric. profi le’, adding that ‘the release of FireSheep using that tool soon. It would wreak havoc, but ers should associate with the Imperial-WPA The club will open on Saturday the 20th of Novem- might generate enough publicity for home I hope it doesn’t get that far.’ network for increased protection against this ber with a host of live bands and djs, including Ro- wireless users to think seriously about whether Felix also approached Danish Khan with less type of attack. ‘If in doubt, if the padlock isn’t bots in Disguise, Tape the Radio, Citadels and Miss- encryption is enabled on their home networks, of an emphasis on network security but more to there when you started using the website, it ing Andy. and whether a wireless network is safe to con- do with the websites’ lack of SSL encryption, isn’t safe’. The new club, which replaces the old dBs, was nect to.’ who said ‘if FireSheep worked regardless of Google’s Gmail service switched to SSL in originally set to open at the beginning of October, ‘ICT has always had security in mind when network security, I guess I’d have to stop using January this year, but services such as Face- in time for Welcome Week. However problems with designing the College wireless service’, they them or switch to a wired connection.’ He add- book have yet to follow suit. Twitter currently removing a pillar that would have blocked the stage added, ‘we provide a number of different wire- ed that ‘Facebook and other sites could offer provides an SSL only option as a feature, and meant that this was pushed back to the 29th of Oc- less networks to accommodate the huge range an HTTPS service which used SSL throughout, Felix advises users with doubts to both associ- tober. of devices which we support. It is planned that for networks you don’t trust, but you’d expect ate with the Imperial-WPA network where pos- Unfortunately the discovery of asbestos dashed staff and students in Computing will be migrat- to be able to trust DoC’. sible. The attack, formally known as HTTP ses- Union hopes of launching with a Halloween party. ed to use the main College wireless network’, David McBride, of the Computing Support sion hijacking, is an inherent problem with the With the success of the new bar, FiveSixEight, ex- Imperial-WPA. Group, responded to these comments in an way the websites are presented to the user and pectations are high for Metric. Hopefully it will have Felix interviewed two students from the De- interview explaining that there will be a com- not the fault of the wireless networks and their been worth the wait. partment of Computing who were affected by putational cost associated with services such security measures. Firefox extensions such as this issue. Approached with information he ex- as Facebook providing SSL throughout the HTTPS-Everywhere and Force-TLS can be Metric launch: 20:00 - 03:00, Saturday 20th pected was private, Josh Forman-Gornall said: session, but that the problem is the underlying used to enable encryption where possible to ‘I was surprised when I saw my account was ac- assumption of privacy in an otherwise unen- thwart snoopers over a wireless network. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 5 INTERVIEW WE SHOULD BE WORKING TOWARDS THE AMERICAN SYSTEM

Photo by Slobodan Radosavljevic Charles Betts “I would like to see interviews the cap lifted totally; Mark Field MP allow the market to determine fees”

n September, during is being suggested at £6000-£9000 – I a speech at Queen want to see a diversity of innovative Mary University, universities. Let’s have 2-year degrees Vince Cable said (not at places like Imperial, but other “there is no justifica- places like private colleges) that cost tion for taxpayers’ say £3500/year. Give another option to money to be used to people rather than have the whole thing support research that hamstrung in a very bureaucratic way. If is neither theoreti- a cap is too low, one or two universities cally outstanding nor may go private – you hear about Cam- commercially useful.” bridge and Imperial contemplating that What is your stance? route depending on how negotiations My concern is that with so much of pan out. I support the Browne review. scientific research it is difficult to gauge I have had conversations with Richard Iduring the early stages whether the work Sykes in the past and he would note how will be useful. The very nature of scien- much you can charge a home grown stu- tific research often involves numerous dent and how much you can charge an cul-de-sacs before finally utilising some international student. He rightly takes of the experience gleaned from going the view that we want our indigenous down those various routes. I don’t think British people in our top institutions. having as hard and fast a rule in place is Given the enormous gulf between the terribly sensible and I’m afraid it doesn’t two fee levels, there is going to be a reflect the reality of how scientific re- push to get lots of overseas students. I search is undertaken. want to promote a genuine meritocracy.

The science budget has been frozen Do you envisage a system similar to for the next 4 years, which represents the American one? a 10% reduction in real terms. Do you `Realistically I think we are heading agree with this? in that sort of direction. The benefit the There is a broader issue with funding American system has is that the private at the moment. Because of the difficul- universities have these huge endowment ties with the deficit funding, other bud- funds and are able to say if you are good gets have taken absolute as well as real enough – not necessarily academically, cuts. A freeze is rather more generous for instance if you are an elite sportsman than it is for other departments going a handful of people and just gathers dust concerns also have to be addressed. Do you think there should be a cap? – if you can bring something to this in- forward. The difficulty with scientific in the library. That’s not in any way to I regret the stance that is being taken stitution then, whether your parents earn research is that given those financial belittle scientific research and we should You don’t feel it is a problem in terms by Vince Cable and David Willetts. I can a modest amount or not, we can make constraints there is going to be an in- be proud of our track record, which we of representing Imperial College as understand the politics of the situation, a way of making that work. That’s the creasing demand for evidence of success should be looking to maintain, but one our local MP? given that every one of the 57 Liberal sort of model we should aim towards. I over a much shorter time period. Scien- of the difficulties with highlighting quite The trouble is my constituency is a Democrats MPs were committed to no appreciate that the American institutions tific researchers may end up spending a a narrow statistic is that some perverse uniquely diverse seat in many ways. It rise in fees, as to why we have ended up have the benefit of huge alumni funding disproportionate amount of their time incentives could come into play. has very wealthy areas and very poor ar- in this state. I would like to see the cap – to get to that stage will take some time. on bureaucratic tasks such as filling in eas, and it is home to the scientific, the entirely removed. I see our universities forms to get their next grant instead of Do you feel you can fully appreciate artistic, the political and the economic as being elite international players and In the event of unlimited fees, the on scientific work. the nature of scientific research if you centres of this country. I do my level the worry is that, even towards the best wealthiest could pay without prob- don’t have a scientific background? best to try and have an understanding universities, there is a level of compla- lem, and the poorest would be offered The UK represents 1% of the world I’m sure there are many scientists at of it all. But yes, it’s a classic case of cency in respect to their global role. scholarships. Is there a chance the population, yet produces 8% of all Imperial who know more about politics being a jack-of-all-trades and a master The funding of US universities means middle classes could suffer? scientific publications. Do you feel we than I do about science. Obviously, you of none. I try and do a reasonable job in that they can attract the best academics Yes, I think so. It’s a classic debate might lose this edge over the coming have a limitation. What I’d like to think that regard. to make their careers there. I would like we’ve been having in the last week years following the spending review? I can provide is some perspective and to to see the cap lifted totally, allow the about housing benefits. It’s the middle The issue is that when you simply look be able to broaden the judgement on a The Browne Review has suggested market to determine where fees are, have that is being squeezed. I was the first at the raw statistics – if you start looking range of other issues, other than just the unlimited fees should be allowed. The some safeguards to ensure there are bur- person in my family to go to university. for any measure of success, for example raw scientific research element. Clearly Universities Minister David Willetts saries in place and in the meantime try I’m from the middle class. I was very the number of column inches in scientif- it helps to have a proper scientific back- has said that “ unlimited fees are nei- and build up alumni funds as in the US lucky and had a full grant and no debt. ic magazines – then you get perverse in- ground. Equally, we are working within ther sustainable nor sensible.” Vince model. The worst of all worlds is if we I am adverse to debt and can see that is centives to do things in a particular way. quite strict financial constraints and will Cable has said, “unlimited fees is an do have a cap and I am particularly wor- the worry – though I’d probably take it A lot of what is published is only read by be for the rest of this decade and those avenue that is unlikely to be pursued.” ried about having a lower rate cap which on the chin. 6 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX

News Editors: Matt Colvin Alex Karapetian NEWS [email protected] Job Markets Graduate unemployment at 8.9% Deportation risk for Graduate unemployment has risen to 8.9%, a rise of one percentage point from the previous year. This is the conclusion of a survey by the Higher Education Careers Services Unit (HECSU) of 225,000 gradu- ates questioned in January this year, after leaving postdoc researchers university in the summer of 2008. Employment prospects have not looked so grim Photo by Kadhim Shubber since 1993, when the UK was coming out of a reces- ...Continued from Front Page sion and graduate unemployment peaked at 11.6%. jobs, thousands of people within the “These latest fi gures show that students are grad- UK could potentially fi ll the role, in uating from university into the bleakest employment research, that number is down to tens market for decades”, said Aaron Porter, president of of people across the globe. This means the National Union of Students. that the immigration cap on non UK/ Whilst the number of Imperial graduates unem- EU immigrants introduced by the Home ployed does not hit national averages, the university Secretary, Theresa May, in June could is not immune either. Imperial’s graduate unemploy- potentially have serious negative con- ment has risen sharply from 5% to 7.6% over the sequences on the competitiveness of the past year, closing the gap between Imperial and the research done within UK universities. national average. Imperial graduates entering em- Researchers who are resident outside ployment within six months was down from 69.9% to and wish to work in the UK have to ob- 60.2%, although this can be partly accounted for by tain a visa, of which there are two main more students entering into further study. types which apply to research staff, tier The survey also revealed that the proportion of one and tier two. graduates working in non-graduate sectors such as Tier one is a personal visa, where ap- retail and catering rose to about one in seven. plicants have to apply through a system, Striking differences between different degree sub- giving information on their age, degree jects are also highlighted. IT graduates fared worst, level, earnings, et cetera. This informa- with a staggering 16.3% still seeking work after six tion is then assessed and given a score months. Also in the top fi ve for the highest unem- in several categories. Each category has ployment were media studies, design, accountancy a different ‘pass mark’ and applicants and electrical and electronic engineering. Only 6.2% must pass each category in order to of law graduates were out of work after this period. qualify for the visa. The length of this Although all seems well at lunch in the Senior Common Room, postdoctoral researchers on However, graduate unemployment is still some way visa is usually a fi xed term, typically tier two visas face the real risk of deportation off the levels seen in the last recession. Charlie Ball, around two years. There is, however, a Deputy Director of Research from HECSU, believes hard cap of 600 of these visas which can that “prospects for graduates in the short-term look be issued per month; which in October fi lled, face the real risk of deportation skills and experience listed in job ad- bright and next year we expect to see a decline.” was already ‘used up’ by the 20th. On back to their home countries though it is verts. Ball also stresses that young people thinking top of that, tier one visas are hard to ob- hoped that the extra time in the UK will Professor Simon Gaskell, principal about university should not be deterred by the latest tain, with the ratio of tier one to tier two entitle them to successfully apply for the of Queen Mary University of London, fi gures. Average starting salaries are still substan- visas at 1:1 in the Physics department different visas. recently stated in an interview with the tially higher for graduates (£19,695) than for non- despite the department strongly advis- Imperial has a particularly diverse BBC, that he believes “The most damag- graduates (£15,912). ing researchers to obtain a tier one visa workforce. In the physics department ing thing that we could do to UK higher The study is compiled from a national survey car- wherever possible. alone, around 25% of post doctoral re- education, UK research, UK science, is ried out by all UK university careers services each The second type of visa is the tier two searchers were hired from outside the to reduce the attractiveness of this coun- year and then collected together and analysed by visa, which can only be applied for if the EU from 2006-2010, highlighting the try, for overseas scientists and other re- HECSU. However, the reliability of the results has individual has a sponsorship certifi cate, importance that high quality immigrants searchers.” been questioned by Imperial’s own careers service. which is issued by the university. These from outside of the EU has for research. The government is not oblivious to “Each graduate is asked about their activity on one visas last only until the end of a contract Adrian Sutton, head of the condensed these concerns. Science minister David specifi c date in the January following the end of their with an individual, and individuals look- matter theory group in the Physics de- Willets and Business Secretary Vince course. If he or she is starting a job the following ing to extend or renew contracts, must partment at Imperial, expressed his con- Cable, acknowledged that there were week, they would still be classed as unemployed for also obtain a new tier two visa. There is cern by stating that “Universities have problems with the current system when the purposes of the survey,” said Elspeth Farrar, di- a limit on tier two visas, with Imperial’s always disregarded where people come speaking at a “science question time” at rector of Imperial College Careers Advisory Service. quota across the whole university being from because they recognise that to be the Royal Institute, on the 26th of Oc- Alex Dahinten, Deputy President (Education) of 82 certifi cates which can be issued be- the best you have to recruit the best tober. However, ever since the immigra- Imperial College Union, emphasised the benefi ts of tween June 2010 and March 2011. It is people. That is why there are so many tion laws were introduced, it is hard not participating or taking an active role in the union’s worth noting that researchers who need postdoctoral researchers from outside to notice that top athletes such as pre- clubs and societies to improve their employment to renew their tier two visas also count the EEA at the top UK universities. miership footballers have been exempt prospects: “You have the opportunity to learn a num- toward the quota and contracts which They have been attracted by our open, from the restrictions, perhaps suggest- ber of vital soft skills which are not taught in lec- have ended do not ‘add’ back to the inclusive culture in UK higher educa- ing a lack of respect for the important ture theatres, while having fun and getting to meet number of certifi cates that can be issued. tion. The UKBA restrictions are negat- role that research plays for the UK as a like-minded people. Graduates should not underes- Having already used up around half ing this culture, a culture which led to 3 whole. timate the ability to give a presentation, work in a the tier two sponsorship certifi cates of the 4 Nobel prize winners in the UK With increasing levels of bureaucracy group or chair a meeting.” which they are allowed to issue for this year being awarded to immigrants.” and hoops to jump through, researchers The deputy president believes that companies will this year, there is a real concern that Overseas applicants already have sig- from abroad will see the UK as a less ap- continue to fi ght over employing Imperial graduates. nearer January, research groups will nifi cant disadvantages when applying to pealing place to work. The real danger is “We come from a world-class university and due be forced to turn away some excellent jobs within the UK. Since the ‘Resident not a cut to funding anymore, but a cut to the subject choice and academic responsibilities candidates simply because they cannot labour market test’ was introduced, em- to the level of talent which helps give the that we carry during our time here, we will always be Comment on this obtain a visa. In particular, postdoctoral ployers are forced to give precedence UK its reputation for world class educa- ‘in-demand’ graduates.” Sophia David researchers on tier two visas looking to to any applicants who are from within article online at tion and research. And that, for many extend their visa after the quota has been the EU, when applicants have the same felixonline.co.uk people, is much, much worse. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 7 NEWS

Students Deutsche Bank hit by visa changes Afro Caribbean Society Event for 1st Year Students It takes a unique balance of passion and precision to succeed at Agile Deutsche Bank. Going beyond the obvious, being able to adapt, this Navid Nabijou is the mark of an agile mind, which is what we value most in our people. “Unsustainable.” That’s how Damian minds Green, the immigration minister, de- We are hosting an event for students from ethnic minority backgrounds scribed levels of student migration to the who are interested in learning more about Deutsche Bank. UK. The Conservatives have been plan- inspire ning to curb immigration since before To find out about our 2011 programs, join us at: the election, and now more than ever it seems that universities will not be spared. each None of the changes made to the im- Date, Time & Venue: migration system so far have affected Wednesday, 1 December 2010 students directly (although some are other 17:30 - 20:00 bound to have an indirect impact; see Deutsche Bank Office opposite page). The real trouble begins next April, when the Government will To apply: permanently restrict immigration from outside the EU. Please send your CV and covering letter to [email protected] The precise scale and nature of these by 19 November 2010. Successful applicants will be sent an invitation restrictions are still unknown but, judg- to the event. ing from Mr Green’s recent comments, it looks as if student visas will be cur- See more at db.com/careers tailed. This will have a marked effect on those universities that rely heavily on the tuition fees of internationals (no points for guessing which one we’re alluding to); it is the income generated from Mr Green’s “unsustainable” levels of international students that sustains universities such as Imperial. Tuition fees for Brits and Europeans NEW YORK, USA are set to rise, but it is dubious whether this can counteract a joint drop in gov- ernment funding and international par- ticipation. The International Office at Imperial emphasised this, saying: “At a time when the government is proposing cuts to Higher Education funding, the income from international tuition fees represents a significant financial contri- bution to the College.” At the same time, a different set of re- strictions is being considered. The Tier 1 Post Study Work visa (PSWV) allows recent international graduates to remain in the UK to work for up to two years. These are likely to be curtailed, forcing graduates to leave the UK sooner. The International Office has pointed out that “the Post Study Work visa is an excel- lent incentive to encourage international students to choose the UK as a study destination.” The fear is that many ex- ceptional international students will opt for countries with lighter restrictions, and that as a result UK universities and the UK economy as a whole will suffer. Amresh, a fourth year undergraduate and an international student, was not deterred. He told Felix that he’d “much rather work in the UK.” He did have some reservations though: “If I’m get- ting rejected from jobs just because I’m not British, I would be quite pissed off.” Universities are facing an academic and financial shortfall. How deeply these changes will impact students – interna- tional and domestic – remains to be seen. 8 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX

Science Editors: James Goldsack Katya-yani Vyas SCIENCE [email protected] And a few suggestions... Do babies dream in the womb? “Being a foetus is fun”: daydreaming begins before birth

Katie Tomlinson

New Imperial research shows newly born ba- bies have highly developed “daydreaming” brain networks. Whether our brains are focused, resting or asleep, default networks of neurones in the brain are constantly activated. When we are not focused a network called the resting state network is switched on, but we are hardly aware of its activity. The resting state network allows us to day dream and branches across the brain between the visual areas, motor areas and How to dunk a doughnut areas involved in abstract thought. The Imperial study scanned the brain activ- by Len Fisher ity of 70 healthy infants. A 4-dimensional brain atlas was drawn up by the Computing depart- In this charming and quirky book, Fisher introduces ment and mapped activity to the known loca- us to some of the more day-to-day applications of tion of the resting state network in adults. It science. Ranging from the physics of sex to making was shown that the resting state network de- the perfect boiled egg, there is a huge variety of velops in the last 10 weeks of pregnancy and scientific silliness to choose from. at birth looks much like an adult’s, prompting Fisher writes in an engaging and clear way, mak- the question: are babies day dreaming in the ing the concepts accessible to everyone whilst still womb? fMRI scans showed that babies’ brains have a fully developed network of neurons keeping the content interesting for scientists. I When we daydream the resting state network found myself maintaining a great sense of admira- allows introspection; triggering autobiographi- tion for him, it takes a truly devoted scientist to carry cal memories and envisioning the future. Pro- The study shows that babies’ brains are more cused on preventing brain damage in babies by out some of the experiments mentioned. Don’t ex- fessor David Edwards, the lead author of the fully formed than previously thought. In gen- preventing oxygen starvation. He has recently pect to learn anything that would contribute to your study, suggests that “being a foetus is a lot eral, it seems that our brains are constantly en- been awarded the highly prestigious Arvo Ylp- degree but rather take a break from the monotony of more fun than any of us can remember -- lying gaged in complex activities, which begin early pö medal. Professor Edward’s future work will equations and bar charts to delve into some fun and there happily introspecting and thinking about in development. investigate how illnesses which disrupt the rest- useless science. Maybe you’ll even recapture your the future”. Professor David Edwards has previously fo- ing state network effect brain development. youth, after all, this sort of science is what lured us to our disciplines in the first place! Strung along by Brian Greene Upcoming Science Events Katya-yani Vyas a unique place within science in that it is cur- theory research and the amount of funding be- Nov 11th rently the best model we have that can unify the ing funnelled into it. Greene seemed baffl ed by String theory is not a subject that would enthral four fundamental forces of nature. Without go- the concern, especially as he perceived it as a Royal Society most people, it is hard physics, mathematical, ing into too much detail, this is the Holy Grail defi nite non-issue. Our genes, our history untested and impossible to visualise. On Thurs- for physicists. He pointed out that string theorists want noth- 6:30pm - 7:30pm day the 28th of October at the Wellcome Insti- Perhaps I should give a brief overview of ing more than the truth, and if string theory was tute, I attended a discussion with Brian Greene what String Theory is although most of it lies closest to revealing it then of course money Nov 06th on the subject of String theory and the contro- in a realm completely beyond my understand- should be spent on it. He added that if it was Wellcome Collection versy and debate surrounding it. Brian Greene ing. The idea is that all matter is made up of disproved then something else would take over Exchanges at the frontier: Gwen Adshead is a professor at Columbia University, author of tiny vibrating strings; every particle has a par- and, whether correct or not, every effort should 10:30am - 16:00pm ‘The Elegant Universe’ as well as being one of ticular frequency associated with it and, just as be made to fi nd out. the most well-respected and high profi le string different vibrations on a guitar string match up Greene’s explanations of some physics theorists. The talk was facilitated by Professor to different notes, each string’s frequency cor- phenomenon were excellent, proving his cre- Wellcome Collection A.C Grayling, author and professor of philoso- responds to a different particle. This gives us a dentials as a great communicator of science Authors in conversation phy at Birkbeck University. single constituent of all matter which is a tanta- although his bestselling book is a far greater 15:00pm - 16:30pm The talk began with a brief and concise intro- lising prospect. testament to that. duction to some of the background physics and Grayling was engaging in his role as inter- The talk was enlightening, Greene and Gray- Nov 11th onwards the reasons for pursuing string theory. Greene’s viewer and seemed to know quite a lot about ling kept the attention of the room admirably Wellcome Collection easy and relaxed manner is evident from the the subject himself, which enabled him to talk with witty and relaxed conversation. String High society exhibition start, his lilting American accent puts the audi- about some of the criticisms of String Theory. Theory is far from being proven, but after this ence, and indeed Grayling, at ease. He begins Further on in the interview Grayling steered lecture I found myself anticipating a break- with a simple assertion that string theory holds the discussion to the debate surrounding String through with hope and optimism. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 9 SCIENCE 2009 swine fl u carried deadly mutation

Lizzie Crouch up the possibility of more severe symp- toms and even pneumonia. Researchers at Imperial have been part The mutated H1N1 virus, known as of a global team whose latest research is D222G, was found randomly as the pan- giving greater insight into what caused demic spread across the world. It wasn’t tens of thousands of fatalities during last the generation of a new subset of virus. year’s H1N1 pandemic. It was sporadic and sometimes deadly Viruses are weirdly beautiful. Their mutation. However, despite this latest DNA material is held in a delicate and research going further to explain the unique protein casing; an arrangement reason behind the fatalities seen during unlike any living structure. However, it the pandemic, it is important to note that is this casing which Imperial researcher, only 7.1% of people who died from the Professor Ten Feizi, and her team be- swine fl u during the pandemic suffered lieves may hold the key to understand- from the mutated form. In fact, in De- ing what makes a particle invisible to the cember 2009 the WHO released a state- naked eye into a killer. ment that said “the D222G substitution The protein casing allows the virus to does not appear to pose a major public stick to receptors on the surface of hu- health issue.” man cells. It’s like puzzle pieces; where The fact still remains however that the protein casing and the receptor people infected with this mutant vari- match in shape, the virus latches on and Filthy swines: the 2009 swine fl u outbreak, originating in Mexico, has killed more than 18,000 people worldwide ant of the H1N1 virus are more likely infects the cell. to have severe and fatal illness. Profes- Last December the World Health Or- sor Feizi warns that “If the mutant vi- ganisation (WHO) published a report has shown that this change results in they were able to demonstrate that the nose and throat resulting in familiar yet rus were to acquire the ability to spread looking at a mutation where one of the marked differences in the way that the mutated virus was able to attach itself uncomfortable symptoms. The mutated more widely, the consequences could be building blocks of a protein in the cas- virus affects our bodies. The research- with greater strength to more cells in the swine fl u virus is not only more infec- very serious... The virus is constantly ing shell had been altered. Professor Ten ers reconstructed the receptors lining the airways than seen with other fl u viruses. tious but also prevents the tiny in-built evolving, and it’s possible that a new Feizi and collaborating teams have been airways on glass surfaces. By examin- Usually, in seasonal fl u, the virus only cleaners from clearing away any further form as dangerous as the 1918 pandemic conducting extensive research which ing how viruses stuck to these receptors, infects a limited number of cells in our grime which can accumulate, opening could emerge.”

Hawking’s lesson for life 5tat1stics Corn3r

Anastasia Eleftheriou I wanted to do research and if they gave sive edition of “The Grand Design” was me a fi rst I would go to Cambridge, if given free to all the attendants together On Wednesday 20th October, a very rare they gave me a second I would stay at with “Eureka”, the monthly science public lecture was given by one of the Oxford. They gave me a fi rst”. magazine from The Times. Species gone extinct this year so far. most famous and respected physicists The audience enjoyed his sense of hu- During his book presentation he said 116,569 alive today, Stephen Hawking, at the mour, not only in his words but also in that “to understand the Universe better Royal Albert Hall in South Kensington. the pictures shown behind him of phys- we have to understand why we exist. By the start of the lecture, the hall was ics theorems presented in a comic way. The Universe was created by nothing, Days of oil left at current useage. fully packed with people of all ages. The professor explained that he was not by supernatural creatures or Gods”. 15,372 Professor Hawking was introduced by always fascinated by science and how He explained the purpose of his new the theoretical physicist, author and things work, but he concentrated on book; which is to answer some funda- broadcaster, Professor Jim Al-Khalili. physics because he believed that it was mental questions of life such as “Why Abortions this year so far. In addition, a woman was there to help the most fundamental of the sciences. are we here?” or “Where do we come 38,679,799 Professor Hawking communicate, be- He confessed: “my father told me to from?” cause of his diffi culty to move as he study medicine, but I didn’t like biol- At the end of the lecture, Stephen suffers from the serious neuron disease ogy.” Hawking was asked the question “do Deaths caused by smoking this year so amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. He discussed the people that inspired you think it will come the time that 5,629,776 far. He spent the fi rst half hour talking him in his research such as Sciama Den- people will learn everything about phys- about his childhood and his family with nis, Richard Feynman, Roger Penrose, ics?”. He gave a quick and interesting a projector behind him showing pictures and Werner Israel, and about some of answer making space for new questions Deaths caused by drinking this year so of the people and places he was refer- the topics he is interested in like Black in our minds; “I hope not!” 1,512,754 far. ring to. Holes, formation of Galaxies and Uni- While watching this wheelchair- Stephen Hawking was born 68 years verse Expansion. He gave some basic bound man in the centre of the stage giv- ago in Oxford and he studied Physics at information for each topic to give food ing an incredible lecture, with thousands Kilometres the Earth has traveled in University College of Oxford. “My fa- for thought. of people showing their respect for him, 789,099,355 space in our Solar System this year so far. ther studied in University College Ox- He gave a brief reference to his nu- I realized that whatever diffi culties may ford so he told me to apply there because merous publications including “A Brief arise in our lives, we should never give I had more chances to be accepted”. History of Time”, “Black Holes and up, and we must keep trying no matter Billion litres of water consumed this He graduated with a fi rst class honours Baby Universes and Other Essays” and how hard our goal seems. 3,523,597 year so far. degree in Natural Sciences and went to “The Universe in a Nutshell”. He em- So for me, and I believe for many of Cambridge to do research in Cosmol- phasized his new book, “The Grand De- those at the lecture, the evening was a ogy. “In an Interview I had with my sign”, which was written with Leonard very important lesson. Not only in as- professors in Oxford, they asked me Mlodinow. tronomy and cosmology, but also a les- about my future plans. I told them that At the end of the lecture, an exclu- son for life. 10 Friday 05 November 2010 felix

Technology Editor: Samuel Gibbs

TECHNOLOGY [email protected] Free App of the Week Can you hear me now? iOS - Layar for iPhone Samuel Gibbs goes hands on with the ultimate ‘radio voice’ USB microphone, the unusually named Blue Yeti

ot all microphones are born levels right. Blue have also thought to include equal; some are infi nitely more a zero latency direct monitoring headphone equal than others. That’s cer- port on the mic complete with it’s own ampli- tainly the case with the THX fier and volume control. That means that if you certifi ed Yeti from renowned need to listen to the recording as you’re making USBN microphone manufacturer Blue. it you don’t have to be tethered to your comput- The £100 Yeti is the top of the range, all sing- er and experience the lag that going through the ing, all dancing USB microphone that claims computer and back might induce. In fact you to be able to do it all. Featuring not one, not can output all your computer’s sound through two, but three condenser capsules (they’re the the Yeti’s headphone port, allowing you to sit bits that actually pick up your dulcet tones) in a decent way away from your computer with a proprietary ‘Tri-Capsule Array’, the Yeti is only the mic close to you, reducing any po- certainly capable of dealing with almost every- tential background noise a close by computer thing you’re likely to throw at it in the audible might make. spectrum. The microphone is suspended on a table- In reality what that means is that the Yeti top stand that can be locked at any angle you can operate in one of four separate polar pat- need. The stand is quite hefty, supporting the terns: stereo, bi-directional, omni-directional relatively heavy microphone and also provid- and cardioid (which is what you’re likely to ing the Yeti some protection when stored by end up using the most). Cardioid essentially letting it fold back in on itself. If you want to focuses in on audio that’s coming from di- use your own mic stand the Yeti has a standard rectly in front of the microphone, blocking threaded mic stand mount on the bottom next out any audio from behind it and allowing you to the mini-USB port. to get in nice and close for the ultimate ‘radio You might think that £100 for a USB mic is a voice’ effect. lot to pay and you’d be right. You can pick up Augmented reality, or AR, promises to be a huge thing The other microphone modes allow you to a cheap headset for around the £10 mark these going forward. Layar makes it a reality now, painting capture multi-point sources in more detail, days and for the majority of people, that will information over a camera feed, just like Terminator. with stereo perfect for recording a band, bi- do them fine. However, if you’re serious about directional for one-on-one interviews and taking vocal or musical recordings directly into omni-directional for recording a group around your computer, if you’re a podcaster or musi- a table. In fact having used all of the separate cian for instance, then you simply can’t get a Android - Layar for Android modes in the course of creating many pod- better USB mic at the moment. casts, we can attest to the versatility of the Of course it’s not perfect (what is?), we Yeti. don’t like the wobbly plastic master volume The Yeti also has on-board mic gain control, knob, and admittedly it’s a pretty large tool to which allows you to fine tune the recording in- have sitting on your desk, but when it comes put directly from the microphone, something to sound quality, ease of use and that illusive that can be really useful if you’ve got variable baritone that is the ‘radio voice’ the Yeti comes sources or you’re having trouble getting the second to none.

Clear iPhone 4 Protection

Samuel Gibbs but its impact protection is fairly minimal. On the bright side the material the Scosche is made The iPhone 4 is a svelte piece of product de- from isn’t of the super-grippy variety which sign, with immaculate lines and a glossy, beau- means that getting your iPhone into and out of tiful finish. Like it or loathe it, no one can deny a pocket in the case is actually possible, but at that it is a gorgeous piece of hardware and, the same time it’s not going to slip out of your with it costing up to £600, you probably want hand. to keep it that way. The clear case allows you to see the indus- In steps Scosche with its take on the thin rub- trial design of the iPhone 4 fairly well, with the ber iPhone 4 case. The glosSEE g4 comes in only blemish being a relatively small Scosche two colours, glossy black and colourless see- logo on the back towards the bottom. Access to through plastic, but surprisingly you get both the camera, mute switch, dock connector and in one box. speakers are decent, whilst the volume buttons The cases themselves are pretty plain, be- are covered but easily activated. Layar for Android came first, and like its iOS brother, ing made from one piece of a semi-flexible Overall the Scosche glosSEE g4 is an above allows both free and paid AR overlays for all sorts of rubber that fits snugly around the outside of average case that provides enough protection things. your iPhone. It offers your pocket-pal decent in the pocket and out on a table, but its thin scratch protection for all but the screen, sadly and slippery enough to get in and out of pock- there’s no included screen protector in the box, ets easily. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 11 BUSINESS Midterm elections: what do they mean for US businesses? As the Republicans retake the House of Representatives, analysts debate whether they will they ease the burden on businesses or let them down like it’s 1994

uesday saw the US midterm similar failure by the Republicans, to- elections, ending months of gether with their abysmal fi eld of likely speculation about the ex- 2012 candidates, will stop Obama from tent of predicted Democrat becoming the fi rst one-term black presi- loses. These elections were dent. The new speaker, John Boehner, Tseen as particularly important in deter- promised in an emotional speech on mining the business environment in the Wednesday morning that that will not world’s largest economy for at least the happen. Having already received a con- next two years. The outcome will have gratulatory phone call from Obama, a major effect on the Obama adminis- who told him of his hope to “fi nd com- tration’s ability to pursue a number of mon ground” with him, Boehner told policies critical to the shape of any com- supporters that he would ‘never’ let ing recovery or double dip. Analysts are them down and that voters had sent especially interested in what the results the president a message, that he should are likely to mean to the healthcare, “change course”. He also vowed to cut drilling and mining industries facing spending and reduce the size of gov- new regulations, high-income taxpayers ernment, although his number-two in whose ‘tax holidays’ will soon expire if the House, Eric Cantor, was unable to not renewed, as well as the federal gov- name a single government program that ernment’s fi scal policies and the Federal would be cut, whilst both men have re- Reserve’s monetary response. peatedly called and voted for rises in Republicans gained over sixty seats defence spending. in the House of Representatives, win- Despite gaining six seats, the Repub- 5tat1stics Corn3r ning a majority of around twenty seats. licans were unable to regain control of This was an even larger swing than the the Senate. Whilst their 47 seats are fi fty-four seats won in the so-called easily enough for them to fi libuster any 2010 has been a highly emotional election cycle, will large scale rallies held regularly throughout the year ‘Republican revolution’ of 1994, which piece of legislation, they were unable gave the party control over both houses to secure a majority after several of the of congress. craziest Tea Party candidates lost their were also noted as being the most additional rounds of quantitative eas- 500 rose thirteen per cent in the last Analogies with that election have races. In perhaps the biggest surprise of negative in tone ever. Healthcare was ing are now seen as almost inevitable. couple of months. This was likely to been prevalent for months on Ameri- the night, Majority Leader Harry Reid another big theme, given strong voter As Felix goes to press, Ben Bernanke have been the pricing-in of Republican can political talk-shows due to several fended off a challenge from Sharron resentment in most states toward the is expected to announce $500 billion in gains in the Midterms, which means similarities. Both have been seen as Angle, a favourite of the social-conser- Obama administrations rapid expan- additional ‘stimulus’ whilst markets are that equity markets will probably not reactions against ambitious increases vative wing of the Tea Party. A delight- sion of government involvement in that thought to be pricing in around $1 tril- be signifi cantly moved by election re- the size of government pushed for by a ed John Kerry commented that “Harry sector. Other campaign themes ranged lion over the next few months. sults. In fact, the S&P 500 opened on fi rst-term Democratic president. In both Reid isn’t just Dracula, he isn’t just from ‘red meats’ issues like immigra- In terms of specifi c policies, it is un- Wednesday morning almost unmoved cases, Republicans have drawn up ‘con- Lazarus, he’s our leader and our whole tion to some of the most bizarre per- likely that already-enacted bills such from Tuesday. tracts’ with their electorate, promising caucus is thrilled that he’s unbreakable sonal attacks in US electoral history, as healthcare will be repealed, but the It may be a different story in the com- to roll back the size and scope of the and unbeatable.” such as an ad that claimed Rand Paul, Republican takeover of the House will ing weeks for the US Dollar however, state if elected. Karl Rove, George Bush’s former se- the Republican candidate in Kentucky, probably stop new legislation. With the as the Fed and the ECB are seen to be Democrats will have reason to hope nior political advisor who raised $100 worshiped idols and mocked Christians. exception of immigration reform that pursuing very divergent policies. Whilst that the analogy does not end there. The million for Republican candidates in Unsurprisingly, the ad backfi red and Dr many business leaders have been cham- the Federal Reserve may pursue infl a- 1994 elections are widely credited with this election cycle through fi ve lobby- Paul won his race by double-digits. pioning for the past year, this is likely tionary policies to counter likely cuts returning Bill Clinton to popularity af- ing organisations, said that the party’s to raise investor confi dence in the US in the rate of increase of government ter over a year of low and falling poll base should learn a lesson from the Del- What do the results mean for US busi- economy. A much feared expansion of spending, the ECB has signalled that numbers. That had far more to do with aware race, which turned from leaning- ness and the world economy? ‘cap-and-trade’ will now almost certain- it is already looking to tighten its mon- the Republicans, led by House speaker republican to a Democratic landslide, ly not happen whilst some of the most etary policy. According to Bloomberg, Newt Gingrich, being seen to com- after the establishment candidate was Whilst Tuesday night was seen overall contentious parts of the fi nancial regula- analyst consensus is now saying that the pletely abandon their promises of tax rejected in the Republican primaries as a win for Republicans and fi scal con- tion bill likely be retracted. Robert Doll, Euro will appreciate beyond resistance and spending cuts than any particular in favour of a candidate who spent the servatives in particular, questions are chief equity strategist at the world’s levels between $1.45 and $1.50 before triumph on the part of the Democratic remainder of her campaigning trying already being raised about the extent largest fund manager BlackRock recons the New Year. Much will depend on president. The Republicans’ ability to to convince voters that she was ‘not a of any impact on the real economy. The that “the near-term issue of [most] im- the Republicans’ ability to reign in the stop Clinton from doing anything too witch.’ Federal Reserve in particular is widely portance to investors is the Bush-era tax Fed, which judging from their failure unpopular, whilst also failing to en- Overall spending on campaign ad- expected to counter any moves to bring cuts.” These are due to expire soon but to Audit the central bank despite hav- act much of their own ‘contract,’ led vertising in this election cycle exceed Anglo-German style austerity to Amer- will probably now be extended by the ing the support of over two-thirds of the to Clinton’s comfortable re-election in ed$3.3bn (£2.1bn), an all-time record ica. Not only is it already being taken Republican-controlled House. House earlier this year, including over 1996. for congressional elections. Most ads as a given that interest rates will remain Despite record low fi gures on home one hundred Democrats, appears to be Democratic hopes are high that a focused on economic issues, but they near zero for the foreseeable future, but prices and unemployment, the S&P non-existent. 12 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX

Politics Editors: Hassan Joudi, Rory Fenton James Lees, Rajat Jain POLITICS [email protected] The world beyond College walls Peace in Korea This week’s report from Lord Alton and Baroness Cox, United States following their latest visit to North Korea, argues that we

US Republicans have seized the House of Repre- should be building bridges, not walls with the hermit state sentatives in mid-term elections, dealing a severe blow to President Barack Obama’s ability to pass Rajat Jain laws. President Obama has called John Boehner- Rory Fenton the House minority leader to congratulate him and to discuss their priorities. John Boehner is expected It is clear that North Korea is in a dire state in to take over the role of House leader from Demo- humanitarian and political terms. On the 60th crat Nancy Pelosi once the new Congress has been anniversary of the start of the Korean War and sworn in. Meanwhile, the Republicans despite mak- 10th anniversary of opening diplomatic rela- ing huge gains in the November midterms, failed to tions with the United Kingdom, from the out- take over the Senate with the Democrats securing side it seems things have only gotten worse and at least half of the 100 seats in the Senate. The Re- this trend can only continue. publicans ben- This is a country which the fourth largest efited from standing army in the world, but this is only voter discon- possible with a minimum height requirement tent over the of only 4’3” due to years of malnourishment stalling US resulting in widespread stunted growth. It is economy and also a country which has technically been at the persistent- war with its southern neighbour, now fi fteen ly high jobless times wealthier than the North, for 60 years. rate. Despite the armistice, they continue to antago- nise their former countrymen by developing nuclear weapons, destroying their battleships Pyongyang has developed behind a veil and fi ring across the border. During last week’s visit Lord Alton, Chair Greece of the All-Party Parliamentary Committee on worshipping. The Catholic Church is not even a peace conference between the former com- North Korea, questioned offi cials over inter- allowed to have a priest. batant states; the US, UK, South and North Ko- nal human rights abuses. They confi rmed that These physical changes have been dwarfed rea and China, facilitated by a neutral country Greece has suspended all international mail and the idea of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is by the Workers’ Party of Korea’s fi rst confer- such as Sweden or Switzerland. The 6 Party parcel services for 48 hours to allow authorities to not used and ‘suspects’ are not allowed any ence since 1966, where Kim Jong-Un, the third Talks, initiated to address the issue of a nuclear inspect all outgoing mail. This comes after a series defence until the trial stage has begun, when son of Kim Jong-il, was promoted to the rank armed North, should be continued; especially of mail bombs were sent to foreign embassies in they are already considered guilty. The death of four-star General and Vice-Chairman of the in light of recent overtures to denuclearisation Athens and other destinations in Europe. Terrorism penalty, as of 2007, has been extended from Central Military Commission. He is expected by the North Korean Foreign Minister. The experts suspect that an extreme left wing group 5 to 21 offences including distribution of to succeed his father as the supreme leader, issue of energy insecurity should also be dis- called the Conspiracy of the Cells of Fire is respon- foreign audio-visual materials and economic continuing the family’s rule for a third genera- cussed, with help given to the country to build sible for this campaign. They are accused of trying crimes. tion. Senior offi cials said that the country is en- dams and other non-nuclear alternatives. Coop- to spark a revolution in Greece amidst the economic Despite offi cial denials, it is clear that these tering a period of “momentous change”. Given eration on humanitarian issues is also sought, downturn. Greece was hit especially hard by the offences are given a broad defi nition. While how little is known about him, it is still diffi cult after Kim Jong Il banned all foreign aid organ- global financial crisis and its economy is expected public executions in the fi rst half of this year to gauge how important this really is. isations in a country in which the state spends to shrink by up to 4% this year and another 3 % next are thought to stand at a relatively low (com- North Korea has, since 1977, been advocat- an estimated $2-4 per capita on development. year. pared to the United States or China at least) 22, ing “Grand National Unity” under the principle None of this will be possible for as long as there is no fi gure of death in prison camps as a of “Two Systems, One Country”. South Korea North Korea’s international outlook is that of result of poor conditions, torture or execution. and the International Community supported fear and suspicion. The country needs to ac- Earlier this year Shin Dong-Hyok, who was this and formed a plan of action at confer- knowledge that the Western world does not born in prison camp No. 14, testifi ed before ences in 2000 and 2007. This has now been seek to destroy it. It can also learn a lot from South Korea the European Parliament. He described being abandoned by South Korea’s new government. China’s economic boom since developing roasted on an open fi re and seeing his family North Korea was further isolated when its pro- greater co-operation with the West and liberal- members executed. When questioned by Da- posed denuclearisation talks in January were ising its policies. South Korea’s navy has fi red warning shots to drive vid Alton about his testimony, offi cials denied thrown out by the United States. Some small steps have been made in this vein away a North Korean fi shing vessel near the disput- these prison camps even existed. The physical changes, the conferences and by the British government, which introduced a ed maritime border. This is the second incident in six Lord Alton, did, however, report on some the possibility of reunifi cation are not why we scholarship for North Koreans to study in the days and comes after South Korean and North Ko- positive changes being seen. The fi rst indepen- should be hopeful about North Korea; it is the UK. Canada has also provided English lan- rean troops exchanged gunfi re near the DMZ. South dent university, The Pyongyang University of changing attitude of the government. Previous- guage software to the country’s universities. Korean security forces have been put on high alert, Science and Technology, has fi nally been built ly, the country took the ideal of ‘Songun’, or The fact that North Korea invited Lord Alton anti-aircraft missiles are at the ready, shipping and (see below). Churches are also being opened; the ‘military fi rst’ revolutionary attitude. This and Baroness Cox to the country, despite their air routes are under heightened surveillanc, ahead The Korean Christian Federation has claimed prioritised the military above all other govern- open criticism of the government’s human of next week’s G20 meeting in Seoul. North Korea there are now 500 churches in North Korea, ment departments, which has resulted in the rights record, is also a welcome move. has in the past used high profi le events in the South though this is diffi cult to prove. Lord Alton current state of a huge army but little invest- Inspired by the Helsinki Accords which dealt to bolster its standing and to embarrass the South. and Baroness Cox visited a Russian Orthodox, ment in any other area. Now, however, offi cials with the USSR, this approach may be the wis- a Catholic and a Protestant church as well as talk of a “great, prosperous and powerful na- est option for securing peace in the region in a seminary. While these indicate an increase tion” by 2012. light of a more open North Korea. Given the in religious freedom, it should be noted that It is because of these signals of change that nuclear capabilities of all involved, the penal- Edited by Kenneth Lee the Russian Orthodox Church, despite having the new report calls for a new era of dialogue ties for failing to act may make this the only Korean priests, had mainly Russian diplomats with the isolated country. A fi rst step would be option. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 13 POLITICS The Imperial College of North Korea In the fi rst of three Felix articles, Lord David Alton of Liverpool reports on his visit to the Pyongyang University of Science and Technology

David Alton cation.” PUST is helping to prepare to- - and urging economic, social, humani- morrow’s Korean leaders for the world tarian and political reforms. James Chin Kyung Kim is that rare man in which they will live : generation next. In 2003, at Panmunjom, on the 38th – a man who believes in the unbeliev- What Kim and his university repre- parallel which divides north from able, and makes it happen. sent should not in any way be under- south, and where the 1953 Armistice Remarkable also, because he once lan- estimated. They are symbolic of the was signed, I wrote in the visitors book guished in a North Korean prison cell. incremental change which the country’s that it is “better for men to build bridges Remarkable, because this self-made leaders recently promulgated – change than to build walls.” man has used his own resources to back which places the characteristics of “a Since then we have both quietly per- his beliefs with hard cash. prosperous future” and “a dignifi ed fu- sisted with constructive, critical engage- During my recent third visit to North ture” before military might. North Ko- ment, mindful of the old Korean proverb Korea I was privileged to visit the cam- rea is gradually accepting that neither that “to begin is to half complete the pus of Dr.Kim’s brand new Pyongyang its neighbours nor western nations have task.” University of Science and Technology territorial ambitions against it and that In 2009 we published our report (PUST) – just a day before it formally the maintenance of the worlds’ fourth “Carpe Diem”, which urged the in- opened for business. largest army – one million men under coming Obama Administration seize Like its founder, PUST is remarkable, arms – and the development of weapons both the moment and the initiative. The because in a country notorious for the of mass destruction – have drained away White House missed the chance to an- rigid control exercised by the State, this precious resources which could have nounce the formal ending of the war and is the country’s fi rst privately funded been better used on economic and social the creation of diplomatic presence in international institution, with a cohort development. Pyongyang. of academic staff drawn from Europe, Its military leaders know that if it ever Throughout the Cold War, the U.S. had China and North America, openly pro- used its arsenal there would be a deadly a comparable presence in Soviet Union The British delegation and teaching staff at the P.U.S.T. moting a strategy for enabling North and cataclysmic repetition of the Korean and its satellites, and also in China – Korea’s citizens to engage successfully War which claimed an estimated 3 mil- allowing it to pursue the Helsinki pro- in the world economy and global soci- lion lives. cess of human rights engagement and University of Science and Technology is returned to Seoul and, in 1976, began a ety. In this, the sixtieth year since those to see both economic liberalisation and a welcome harbinger of what that world series of business enertprises in Florida. PUST is a complex of brand new lethal hostilities commenced, there re- political reform. But, like the Bourbons, might look like. But he never forgot his vow and, in the buildings situated on 248 acres of land mains in place a threadbare armistice. we seem to have learnt nothing, failing James Kim’s story should not ob- 1980s he sold up, created a university in southern Pyongyang’s Rakrang dis- In the intervening six decades there has to pursue “Helsinki with a Korean face.” scure the magnitude of the challenge or college in South Korea and in 1992 was trict. The well-appointed campus has been neither peace nor war, merely this Britain, to its credit, has had an Am- the unique diffi culties of operating in a ready to export his model of educa- a target enrolment of 600 graduate and stop-gap armistice which fl ares up from bassador and embassy in Pyongyang country which because of its oddities tion to China. Yanmbian University of 2000 undergraduate students by 2012 time to time into dangerous and deadly since 2000 – and this has enhanced our and enormities can all too easily become Science of Technology, in Yanji, north This academic year it began courses in acts of provocation, the most recent of ability to engage the country’s leader- a copy writer’s dream. But his is a story eastern China, was the result. It, in turn, three faculties: information technology; which were the sinking of the South Ko- ship and to infl uence its future. Ambas- which inspires and encourages. became the model for Pyongyang. industry and management; and a faculty rean naval vessel, the Cheonan, resulting sador Peter Hughes is widely admired At the outbreak of the Korean War But, before that could happen, Dr.Kim for agriculture, food and life sciences. in the loss of 46 Korean lives; and some for his thoughtful diplomacy and his Dr.Kim was just 15 years-old. Neverthe- would be arrested by Kim Jong Il’s Two more will follow: architecture and sabre-rattling shots fi red across the bor- refusal to give up on fi nding a peaceful less, he enlisted and fought against the North Korean Government and languish engineering; and public health. der just a few hours after we left way forward. communist north. Of 800 men in his unit in jail. PUST’s development plan includes During my three visits to North Korea Ignoring North Korea is not an option. he told me that just 17 survived. a research and design capability, the with my colleague, Baroness (Caroline) We need a variety of confi dence Without money, after the war, he trav- Next week David Alton describes how creation of a Pyongyang Techno-park Cox we have consistently urged its lead- building measures which painstakingly elled fi rst to France, landing in Marseille, Dr.Kim unlocked both the door to his to incubate inventions and ideas, and ers to fi nd a peaceful way forward whilst and patiently help North Korea to take and then on to Switzerland and, in 1960, cell and a political system - opening a straight-forward repudiation of what also documenting and raising examples its place as a welcome member of the to Britain, where he studied at Bristol’s the way to North Korea’s fi rst private James Kim calls “mass production edu- of egregious violations of human rights world community – and Pyongyang’s Clifton Theological College. He later international university. UN calls in Rector in India-Pakistan dispute

James Lees After the dispute could not be resolved themselves. The fi nal 2 members of the Pakistan objects for a number of reasons, not in danger of exceeding this. Envi- at a governmental level, Pakistan has de- 7 member ICA will be appointed by fi rstly doing this will result in disruption ronmentalists have claimed that the con- Hosepipe bans cause outrage in middle cided it needs to be settled by a specially Lord Judge, the Lord Chief Justice of of the water fl ow at its own Neelam- struction of the dam will wreck the habi- England, but some water disputes go formed International Court of Arbitra- England and Wales who will choose a Jhelum project further downstream. tats of local endangered animals such as much deeper than the need to ensure your tion (ICA). This is how any problems neutral legal expert, and Imperial’s own Pakistan claims this “breaches India’s the snow leopard and the barking deer. lawn is greener than the Jones’, and when over water in the region are to be settled Rector, Keith O’Nions who will choose legal obligations under the treaty”. A fur- Disputes over anything between these there is an issue between India and Paki- as laid out in the Indus Waters treaty of an engineer. ther objection relates to India’s decision two nuclear nations need to be resolved stan the world needs to pay attention. The 1960. The UN Secretary General, Ban It is the ICA’s task to settle the dispute to lower the level of the reservoir at the carefully and the ICA has a diffi cult task Kishenganga tributary in the disputed Ki-moon, has appointed Judge Stephen over whether India has the right to build plant which Pakistan believes breaks the ahead of it if a fair solution is to be found Jammu and Kashmir region is currently M. Schwebel, former President of the the dam. The process of making the dam rules on the drawdown of water. which avoids either side losing face. It the source of an argument between India International Court of Justice to head will result in diverting the Kishenganga, The Indus Waters treaty gives India the is likely many hours of sitting in rooms and Pakistan over Indian plans to build a the ICA. India and Pakistan have each something which India believes it is al- right to create 3.6 million acre feet of wa- with arguing lawyers await whichever 300MW hydroelectric plant. appointed 2 legal experts to represent lowed to do under the terms of the treaty. ter storage capacity and it is apparently engineer the Rector eventually chooses. 14 FRIDAY 5 novemBER 2010 felix

Comment Editor: Anna Perman

COM M ENT [email protected] FELIX Bans don’t work The Government’s Our out-dated attitude to drugs is doing more harm than immigration policy is good. Legalising them is the most sensible solution a threat to scientific research in the UK

It is a truism that scientific research is an international affair. It relies on the free movement of ideas and technology across land, sea and international borders. Most importantly, it relies on the free movement of academics themselves.

Therefore the government’s plan to impose a strict cap on immigration is disturbing for Black Sheep the scientific community. Driven by the politi- cal need to assuage the widespread fear of “If somebody wants immigration, the coalition have come down hard on immigrants from non-EU countries. to dabble with mind- In doing so, however, they have shot them- selves in the foot, and the UK’s scientific altering substances, community in the chest. what’s it to you?” A credible argument could be made (though this newspaper wouldn’t support it) about the need to reduce immigration into the UK. ince the not so level-headed But conflating the large-scale immigration Mephedrone debate you’d of unskilled workers from the world’s dys- have hoped that people The desks in the Felix office are getting a bit messy. Time to gget the hoover out... functional states and movement of highly- could see how prohibition skilled specialists in the global job market can only lead to problems is short-sighted. Sand that legalisation of narcotics isn’t soon cease to exist as it simply wouldn’t Most people I know who’ve such a bad thing, but judging from the be able to compete. So now you have To add insult to injury, while the scientific idiotic grumbles I keep hearing, it seems the loss of a frankly scummy market, dabbled with drugs don’t community is denied exemption from the people still aren’t quite getting it. lower crime rates, and the people who draconian immigration cap, Premiership Unless you’re a holier-than-thou were getting high anyway are doing so become the raging arseholes football teams will be allowed to hire players preacher from one of our beloved main- in a safer environment with controlled from across the globe without restriction. stream religions I’m sure you’ll agree substances. drinkers morph into on When kicking a ball is deemed to be more that you don’t have the right to tell Nobody would be encouraged to start important than the advancement of science, someone what they can and can’t do taking drugs due to their availability, Wednesday sports nights something is clearly amiss. with their body. If somebody wants to and an adverse effect might even oc- “ dabble with mind-altering substances in cur. Sure, it’s ‘cool’ to bang chemicals Already the government’s distorted immigra- their free time, what’s it to you? up your nose when it’s illegal, but who tion policy is making the UK a less desirable Sure, people may be a ‘menace’ to wants to conform to something perfectly websites were selling ‘good quality’ place for scientific research. Overseas ap- those around them when they’re on such legal? It’d quickly lose the image of stuff that was what they said it was, at plicants are forced to jump through a whole chemicals, but I fail how this differs to glamour that it currently has, that’s for affordable prices, delivered faster than series of bureaucratic hoops and at the end alcohol consumption, which seems to be sure. So the people that were going to a Dominos pizza. Following a bunch of of the day, EU applicants are legally given disregarded on grounds of our ‘culture’ get high anyway will do so, and those hyped media coverage” and an unneces- precedence. The new cap will mean that re- (whatever that means). How being sick, who want to give it a miss can do as they sary ban, a bunch of people decide to set search groups will be further hampered by getting into fights, having one-night please. Of course there would have to be up websites of their own selling who- an inability to hire the brightest minds and stands, and forgetting about an even- regulation on who can buy what when, knows-what (if they actually deliver) postdoctoral researchers who require a visa ing’s events can be seen as perfectly but that’s a separate argument altogether. – we now have a designer drugs mar- extension could find themselves deported normal behaviour is just beyond me. What does prohibition actually ket whereby people have no idea what before their research is completed. Besides, most people I know who’ve achieve? An increase in the street value they’re getting but will still take the risk. dabbled with drugs don’t become the of the product, drawing people with no I’m not saying that the story of your Research in the UK already excels in spite raging arseholes most drinkers seem to aspirations to sell it for a quick buck. As mother’s brother twice removed isn’t of poor funding and a lack of investment. morph into on Wednesday sports nights, more people sell it (and make a killing) upsetting – I’m sure it’s devastating One wonders if the government is playing and instead just have a bit of a chat and the value drops. At this point, some of when you lose someone to drugs. The a cruel game, increasing the burden just to a boogie. the bigger players will be caught and point is that with some alterations to see how much the system can take. Their So let’s imagine for a second a nation banged up – demand is still there, but our legislation and culture around drugs recklessness is short-sighted and stupid. where the sale of narcotics is controlled supply is low, so price increases. And these kinds of horror stories probably Scientific research, and skilled employment by the state (refrain from the Orwellian so the cycle continues – a fluctuation of wouldn’t exist. Like sexual orienta- in general, must be exempted from the im- utterances, please) or by private compa- prices, a lot of dealers getting rich, and Have your say on tion, race and religion, attitudes towards migration crackdown. nies à la Marlboro or Absolut. Quality some imprisoned. drugs really need to be dragged from un- would have to be outstanding, and prices It goes even further than that, though. this article at der the carpet and brought into the 21st competitive – the illicit market would Mephedrone as a case in point: most felixonline.co.uk century. felix FRIDAY 5 novemBER 2010 15

The opinions expressed on the Comment pages represent the views of the author only. COMMENT

Online reactions to We’re all f***ed. So what? last week’s Black Sheep ast week’s Black Sheep repress knowledge of our own faults point. If you’re disloyal, cheat, pay certainly got the column then the next best thing is to make it ac- women to do things to you that no sane felixonline.co.uk started with a bang. At least ceptable. Smoking. Drink. Donations to person would do in a full biohazard suit, I thought it had, for the first ‘Save The Dolphin’ charities. Why is it then you are less of a human being. If hundred words. Then I re- that when we do stupid things our in- you resist the temptation to stuff any “Well said. It’s ridiculous that Lalised the noise was coming from me stinct is to pretend it’s normal? and all rhubarb and custards you see into people should lose their jobs smashing my head through the paper It wouldn’t be so bad if the Black your mouth, then you are more of a hu- over infidelity. Not being able to onto the desk underneath it. Sheep had maintained the moral high man being than I. keep it in your pants is hardly The column, headed with the whorish ground for the duration, but by the end No-one should lose their job over it, a sign that you’re incapable grandmother of all rhetorical questions, they’re pouring scorn on Wayne Roon- that’s plain to see, but should they lose of dribbling a ball, or trend- ‘Is infidelity such a crime?’, was ini- ey for ‘repeatedly’ lying to someone. the respect of their friends, family and ing the corridors of power or tially on pretty sane territory. Does John What? Really? John Terry slept with his society as a whole? Yes they should. But anything else for that matter. It Terry’s personal life have any bearing friend’s ex-girlfriend behind his wife’s even if this doesn’t happen, even if you just shows you’re unhappy with Angry Geek on his skills as a footballer? No. He just back. We’re not in the business of draw- can’t be bothered to summon up any your relationship and it either happens to be shit at both. Does Jen- ing straight lines on a graph here, you contempt for them, what you absolutely needs ending or at least a bit nifer Aniston’s love life have any im- only need one data point - the guy’s a must not do is try to justify it. “Well, we of work.” pact on my day to day living? Not since tosser. all do it, don’t we?” is the anthem of the Nia John I stopped stalking her in the late nine- Humans are flawed. I’m currently eat- slowly decaying chain-smoker, the casu- “Does John Terry’s ties. But then the article hits engineer- ing pear drops in quantities that will give al racist, and the serial adulterer. “Infidelity. A hugely dramatised ing works at Sanity Junction and diverts me glaucoma by the time I’m thirty. Is So just slap yourself in the face now, word. Some people say “when personal life have itself straight on to Crazy Towne. The that acceptable? No it’s fucking not. Are reader. Go on. Because you’re a horrible it happens to me I will...” And problem is this - infidelity is a weakness they uniformly delicious and am I stuff- person and you probably deserve it. some would say “ If you feel any bearing on his of character. ing three into my mouth as I write this? your relationship getting stale, That some members of Imperial are You damn well bet I am. Will my girl- Have you been reading other col- either work on it, or end it.” But skills as a footballer? direly in need of a Filofax to organise friend try to hide them when she reads umnists behind my back? Tell me don’t forget life isn’t a simple their romantic engagements doesn’t this article? Yes indeed. Will it be too they meant nothing to you at equation. There is not a sin- No. He just happens mean that it’s an understandable human late by that point? Most likely. [email protected]. gle rule to decide what’s right. condition. We’re such a fickle bunch of Orgasm-inducing boiled sweets aside, Infidelity is so dramatised on to be shit at both” wangs in this day and age. If we can’t let’s reiterate that ‘humans-are-flawed’ You two-timing shit. TV and books nowadays, that people in it can’t think straight anymore. Onlookers may judge, they may give advice. But deep down only the two person who’s involved in it know what’s best for them. What matters is Chairman of the bored whether you have come out of the tunnel a better person.” Ka Wai Wong hey say that when a man its proper place and the newly-vacated upon myself to throw a series of cakes, is bored of London, he is surfaces were polished to a shine. I tarts and desserts into the metropolis Next week... performance bored of life. If this is true, went round and round my house with below. The result was like watching enhancing drugs should be I should take a running leap the vacuum cleaner, on all the floors. a firework display of flour, sugar and allowed in sport. off Hammersmith Bridge in Once, then twice and then I hoovered cream, with the same inherent joy. My Tmy solid concrete Hushpuppies – how- the walls, just to make sure. The bath- soul leapt to see a zesty lemon cheese- ever, no matter how boring life may room was next, the toilet bleached, cake explode across the pavement and get, I’m certain that the alternative is the bath de-limescaled and the tiles I felt a lightness in my spirit as pedes- Letter to the Editor even more so. To clarify, of course I’m scrubbed of mildew. I even removed the trians fled screaming from the sudden not bored of London, merely bored in U-bend from under the sink and began downpour of Black Forest gateaux. Dear Editor, London. harrying it with a toothbrush. Althought The catastrophic, instantaneous beauty All the usual pleas to rouse fall on deaf perhaps I should have let the bleach seemed to resonate with my sense of During my time at Imperial I’ve Rhys Davies ears. It’s a lovely day outside – no, it’s pass through first. All I know is, after the fleeting futility of human endeav- noticed that every few weeks typical British autumn, grey and wet. seeing some phantasmagorical colours our... also, it was damned good fun to there is an event where conflict London is filled with museums and gal- in a faraway land, I awoke to the exact watch the custards go splat! between science and religion is leries – yes, and my soul is obese from same apathy. As my spirits began to lift, I realised discussed. a glut of culture. It’s going on a crash- I then grew more adventurous. With the macrocosm of my experience. Hu- I notice that the proportion diet of The Jeremy Kyle Show starting some stale cheese, I was able to tempt manity gets bored very easily and seeks of people who express doubt tomorrow. You could always do some a few opportunistic mice into my com- constantly to alleviate it through the in God is much higher in coun- work – no, I’m looking for something to pany. Initially, they were too skittish to pursuit of the novel. We are all trying to tries where most people have avoid boredom. learn any tricks. I thought I’d help them ease that eternal itch of the soul. Each been educated. The propor- I’m sure this sounds familiar to many loosen up by dosing them with mari- may have his preferred avenue; it just tion rises further with the ‘top’ “I thought I’d help of you. For all the great wonders and juana (That I just happened to stumble takes some experimenting to find the scientists. Since the scientific sights of the capital, for all the complex upon: honestly, I thought it was pot- perfect salve. revolution, religious belief fall- the mice loosen up galaxies of social interaction available, pourri!). Unfortunately, the only stunts My own experiences on this dreary en every century. it can be painfully easy to sail into the that they could perform were giggling afternoon have led me to coin a stu- It’s clear to me that faith by dosing them with doldrums of interminable boredom. It’s uncontrollably and asking if I had any pendous new proverb, or tweak an old groups have much to fear from not like I haven’t tried; I’ve already ex- Mars bars. While this was somewhat one (Apologies, Dr. Johnson): “When the march of progress, science marijuana... (that hausted several avenues of novelty but amusing for a little while, I stopped a man is bored with inhaling bleach, and education. nothing quite scratched the itch of my laughing long before the mice did. dealing illicit drugs to rodents and de- I just happened to ennui. Adventurousness gave way to crimi- lighting in the combination of cake and Regards At first I tried cleaning, that peren- nal insanity. Climbing to the top of the gravity, he is well and truly bored with Jakov Marelic stumble upon)” nial favourite. Everything went back in tallest buildings I could find, I took it life.” 16 FRIDAY 5 november 2010 felix

Comment Editor: Anna Perman

COMMENT [email protected]

Pumpkins? Evil? During October 3.5 million French Topless torsos? Odd... workers took to the streets to protest Halloween sucks. against changes to pension plans. But the question is... Halloween bugs me, so this year I thought I’d ignore it altogether. I’m not the kind of person who will set out logical arguments for this, but not because I’m lazy. I just don’t have that desperate a need for your approv- al. However I would really like to talk about WERE THE FRENCH my fear of Pumpkins. I realise that as a type of vegetable (or is it fruit? I’m not going to look it up because I don’t care), Pumpkin should not have a capital but I have a prob- lem. I don’t like to backspace. So I don’t RIGHT TO care if I typo, I ain’t going back. So there’s the Pumpkin sitting pretty (or ugly if the mother let her fat little son han- dle the knife) flickering in the window mock- ing me. I’m not paranoid, the damn things STRIKE? are actually evil and hate me and want to kill me and STUFF. We used to be friends, Pumpkins and I, we used to braid one an- other’s hair etc. And then the love was gone, just like David Guetta says. On a side note before I continue about Pumpkins, I hear Samuel Furse some men dressed for Halloween parties as Charles Betts werewolves from Twilight, i.e. topless teen- awn yawn, the ver since the 14th July age “tottie”. I only write “tottie” for the al- French are on “The French 1789, the French have “French howls literation, I actually hate the word, plus no strike again, and I consistently displayed topless guy at a party really attracts anyone and others are left predilection for a fair amount of je of protest put to because having your torso out when it’s not wondering what ne sais quoi when it cold is a rather effeminate look. Ythe point is. This time at least, it striking is the Ecomes to acts of rebellion. The shame our British Back to Pumpkins (which, incidentally, appears to be some sort of prin- Storming of the Bastille cemented would make a great girls’ name). I would ciple, though whether this raises ‘national sport’” France’s reputation, in the words of whimpers” like to crush Pumpkins further by pointing them above the level of London François Mignet, as a nation “intox- out that they aren’t even remotely spooky. In Underground tube drivers striking icated with liberty and enthusiasm.” fact, things that attempt to be spooky rarely is questionable. The majority of the people they inconvenience either Closer to most French hearts, however, are the riots of May 1968. are. A cemetery at night, is that spooky? earn half what they do, or work for twice as many hours in a day – gener- What started as a piddling group of grumbling students soon exceeded Well yes, in a way. But only in the same way ally both. 20,000 people. Within less than a week, over a million people were many deserted places are spooky at night; However, I cannot help but think the strikers in France have got it marching through Paris in their support. You blinked your eyelids and it’s not that there is a chance of someone wrong too, and for several reasons. For one, several affluent Frenchmen the number had become ten million! President Charles de Gaulle rising from the dead, it’s the presence of (and women) known to me have described the French predilection for fled the country, calling for new parliamentary elections to calm the ris- undesirables such as muggers. Something striking as the ‘national sport’. This hardly imbues it with a moral wor- ing violence and avoid civil war. A bunch of adolescents had very nearly that does intrigue me is masks. In the Hal- thiness the strikers might wish for. But even more than that, the princi- caused the collapse of the government. And none of this had been driven loween films, the fact that you can’t see Mi- ple, which it doubtless is, over which they are striking now is seemingly by the unions. chael Myers’ face definitely adds to the fear. impossible to rationalise. They do not like the age of compulsory retire- Ever since 1968, France has become a more liberal place, with less I get genuinely scared watching those films. ment being raised from 60 to 62 years. This seems rather spoilt when respect for authority and a steadfast desire to place quality of life at People in masks at Halloween aren’t scary one considers that in both the UK and in Germany, the age of compulsory the centre of all social reform. In 1983, President François Mitterrand except when you actually have no idea who’s retirement is 65, and will rise in both countries, probably to 67 or 68. brought in the right to retire at 60, and in 2000 Prime Minister Lionel under it and they don’t speak and keep star- There is little resistance to this in Britain, one imagines for a variety of Jospin helped instigate the 35-hour working week. But this social trend ing at you from a distance. But that tends reasons. No one has any money and so it is understood that we all need is under threat from a bill to make people work two more years for their not to happen at parties. to work for longer. What many may not have considered is the fact that pensions. A bill that is being rushed through the upper house using a Damn, how am I going to sleep tonight when the current system of state pensions was designed, the expectation highly contentious emergency constitutional measure. now that I’ve reminded myself of those was a retirement of only a few years after the age of 65. The fiscal com- The public are out in force once again, living up to their strong strik- Halloween films! (Incidentally, “you’re a parison of this with today’s retirements of twenty or even thirty years, ing and demonstrating pedigree. Current President Nicolas Sarkozy is sexy chick” tends to follow whenever I say has not been widely reported. Perhaps more importantly, a compulsory in essence a wannabe JFK, and likes to portray a Hollywood persona. “Damn”, it’s become a real social problem.) retirement of almost any age seems a form of ageism. Whole sitcoms He is the least popular leader in the history of the Fifth Republic, and Still don’t need your approval though. I’m have been written about the subject (Waiting for God; The Legacy of is at odds with two-thirds of the French citizens that he represents who just ashamed of being the complete baby Reggie Perrin), in which experienced, well-trained personnel at the top oppose the pension law. He has been accused of ignoring the public and that I am. of their games are ‘retired’. They call it being ‘thrown on the scrapheap’. comes across as a tetchy authoritarian, arrogant president. How their You know how people say it’s fear of the Second, striking does not seem to fit with the principles it means to in French howls of protest put to shame our British whimpers against the “unknown”? It follows that if I know how it France. This rather French off-centre attitude goes back a long way—the draconian cuts we are facing. feels to stalk in a mask I might fear it less. first clear example being that beheading the aristocracy was as recondite The French government seems to only listen to public opinion when So maybe I’ll get a mask of my own, hang to egalitarianism as any of the current activity is. Mme. Guillotine did under serious pressure to do so. It’s almost as if the whole political around some college gates menacingly, just nothing to equalise people. If anything she served to mark the unsatisfac- system is centered on striking. The government appears to deliberately get a feel for it… Anyway bring on Bonfire tory delineation as clearly in death as it was in life. wait for a strike before considering any negotiations, whatever the issue. Night! The British have an innate distrust of their politicians, the French seem The people are correct to express their democratic right to strike, regard- to have an innate belief that theirs are criminal. Many turn out to be so, less of the financial impact of the reforms. They adamantly believe in a By Bloody Mary but that does not seem to make the French electorate change that. So in- social way of life that has taken countless battles, fought by their parents stead of complaining-by-inconveniencing, what about making a rational and grand-parents, to achieve. They are being true to their principles and analysis of the effect on the lives of everyone? culture, putting us don’t-you-mind-if-you-don’t Brits to shame. felix FRIDAY 5 november 2010 17

The opinions expressed on the Comment pages represent the views of the author only. COMMENT The Dawkins delusion Letter to the Editor Dear Felix, departments. Since the team took-over, there or those of you who did for his foundation at a time when reli- The article titled “PG mingle delights were a string of three successful so- not read Alexander Kha- gious superstition goes largely unchal- Union” read “GSA have done much cial events. The first event was the nin’s comment piece from lenged in spite of the misery it causes. better job of organizing events such Movie Night, which turned out to be the 22/10/10 issue of Felix, Moving swiftly on to the second as pub quizzes than in the previous a smashing hit with around 90 at- his thesis can be reduced to claim, anybody who has ever heard of years”. This statement is slightly tendees who paid £2 to watch “The Fa number of playground-worthy state- Dawkins is, I am sure, perfectly aware incorrect. The Pub Quiz organized Hurt Locker”. The second event, ments. I have a big problem with his of his opinions. He would not be a very once per month remains similar in GSA Pub-Night, was another big reasoning and the nature of his claims effective proponent of a secular society format to the one organized in pre- success and saw the participation so let us work our way through them. It if he didn’t state his case as frequently vious years. However, I appreciate of around 45 students. The third will not take long I promise, but for the and eloquently as he does. Does the Felix for noticing that the GSA im- event, a Knitting and Salsa mixer, Elliott Hind sake of intelligent debate everywhere he Pope stop talking about his church’s proved its provision of events since was organized in association with needs to be cut down to size. stance on contraception and condom July 2010 after an Events Team ded- Postgraduate Society Goldsmiths First, that Professor Dawkins is a cal- use in Africa? No. Do extremist Mus- icated towards this goal was formed University of London and Imperial lous profiteer. The author, maybe trying lim preachers keep their views about the in April of the same year. College’s Knit Society. to be “down with the youth”, compared west and women’s rights private? No. To fill in a little history, before the The 2009/10 Events Team strived him to Christina Aguilera and implied Bizarrely, Khanin’s irrational dislike of GSA Events Team started planning hard to improve the social scene that he is pocketing all the proceeds Dawkins appears to compel him to write events, it took the pulse of the PG for the PGs and thus have set the from merchandise sales on his web- more than the despicable worldviews of population at Imperial, by conduct- groundwork for this year’s students site. If you dislike someone as much as some leaders of major faiths. ing an online survey. The survey, to enjoy a vibrant community. If the Mr Khanin appears to, you should find Richard Dawkins is a national treas- taken by around 200 Postgrads was Postgrad Mingle, with about 1000 “Dawkins, rather than evidence to support your claims. Mer- ure. He is passionate about encourag- an eye-opener, in which 65% of re- attendees, was anything to go by, chandise sales from richarddawkins.net ing children to question their elders spondents said that they wanted then all signs point to a fun year. being a profiteer, is directly benefit his foundation for rea- and think for themselves. He actively more events and were generally un- son and science. To see for yourself (yes encourages a full scale assault on solv- happy with the social scene at Impe- With regards, savvy in providing that is evidence) go to http://store.rich- ing nature’s mysteries and it is clear that rial. Subsequent personal meeting arddawkins.net/. Dawkins, rather than he cares deeply about humanity and our with 15 PG’s further strengthened Shivendra monetary support for being a profiteer, is savvy in providing future. We could all be a bit more like our belief that the GSA should pro- Events Director – 2009/10, monetary support (a drop in the ocean Dawkins. Yes, that includes you Mr vide Postgrads a time and place GSA his foundation” compared to organised religions’ riches) Khanin. to mingle with those outside their

FRIDAY

1. Barnes Nearest Station: Barnes Bridge Bonfire Weekend Fireworks 2. Bishops Park Graphic by Veronika McQuadeova Nearest Tube: Putney Bridge

3. Clapham Nearest Tube: Clapham Common 7 4. Southwark Nearest Tube: Canada Water 10

5. Westway 5 Nearest Tube: Latimer Road 11 6. Wimbledon Nearest Tube: Wimbledon Park 4 2 SATURDAY 8 1 9 7. Barking Park Nearest tube: Barking 3

8. Battersea Park Nearest Tube: Pimlico 6 9. Blackheath Nearest Station: Blackheath

10. Ealing Nearest Tube: Ealing Broadway

11. Ravenscourt Park Nearest Tube: Ravenscourt Park 18 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX

Arts Editor: Rox Middleton

ARTS [email protected] If you read nothing else this week... The art of shooting wildlife Eduardo Borgomeo’s choice of a Another year at the Veolia photography competition, and modern Italian epic will open your eyes to one of the most important the entries are wilder and more captivating than ever books of the last fi ve years.

by Gomorrah Roberto Saviano

When a writer writes to tell the truth, it can have dangerous and disturbing effects. Roberto’s book Gomorrah on the Neapolitan Camorra crime sys- tem, published in 2006, made him a bestselling author. However, it also gave him the perennial company of fi ve armed guards. Why does a writer have an escort? The question could be easily an- swered by pointing out that Saviano’s book exposes the activities and economic system of the Camorra, the criminal organization originally from Naples that now does business all over the world. This has cer- tainly upset the camorristi who now threaten Savi- ano’s life.

However, many writers and journalists have talked about the mafi a systems before, so the fact that Saviano is writing about the mafi a is not the only A marvel of ants, Bence Máté. Veolia Environnement Wildlife Photographer of the Year - Overall Winner reason why he is a marked man. Saviano’s work has been perceived as a threat to the criminal or- ganization because it broke through the walls of Helen Mackey silence and indifference. Gomorrah turned the at- tention of a whole nation, and not just of a few lo- From classical ‘safari’ style photos that bring cal newspapers, on the practices, connections and drama on a big scale, to atmospheric artistic businesses of the criminal system. It is the number black and white studies and colourful concep- of readers, and thus the success of the book, that tual pieces, this exhibition has rightly earned has made Gomorrah and its author dangerous. The itself a popular following as an internationally fact that Gomorrah sold 10 million copies means renowned exhibition bringing together some of that 10 million people know. They know the names the best wildlife photography of the last year. I of the mafi a bosses. They know that the camorristi really only became aware of its existence last fi lled entire provinces with toxic waste. They know year and sadly, that attention was due to in- that the existences of the godfathers are miserable famy. In 2009 there was scandal; shortly after and wretched, and not incredible as the Hollywood José Luis Rodriguez’s ‘Storybook Wolf’ was mythology made us think. announced as the overall winner of the presti- Yet it is unclear why a writer should deal with the gious award, gossip began circulating that not mafi a. I mean, usually dealing with the crime sys- all was as it seemed. Following thorough in- The Frozen Moment, Fergus Gill. Young Overall Winner. tem is the task of judges and policemen. What does vestigations it emerged that, contrary to what literature have to do with the mafi a? To answer this Rodriguez had portrayed in his submitted cap- question we need to consider what the mafi a really tion, his photo was not a chance encounter with When I visited, it was clear that that message the creature or its habitat and a caption writ- is. The mafi a is not just an association of gangsters. a wild wolf, capturing distinct natural behav- of conservation is at the heart of the exhibition. ten by the entrant. It was whilst reading these It is a frame of mind, a way of thinking, a system of iour. Instead, he effectively cheated by using But I was pleased that they managed to put captions (some authored by 10yr olds entering relationships that covers every aspect of life. Thus a tame wolf trained to perform for the camera. their point across in a way that doesn’t over- the children’s category, which was, gallingly, in order to fi ght it off and defeat it, what is needed For the fi rst time in 46 years, there was a blank whelm what remains a celebration of the stun- no less impressive in standard) that I realised is a cultural movement and not just police action. In space on the exhibition wall as the photograph ning work on display. There are specific cat- the photographs on display were not really the this scenario works such as Gomorrah are of funda- was removed and Rodriquez’ title revoked. egories whose photos plainly aim to illustrate product of any expensive or elaborate equip- mental importance because they spread the word, This year captive animals were banned from the current destruction of wildlife worldwide ment but, more truthfully, the product of end- they spread the knowledge so that a story that used the competition altogether. As was Rodriguez, (including the newly introduced ‘Photojournal- less patience in often inhospitable conditions, to be the story of a single town or area is now the incidentally. Harsh. But strict enforcement of ist’ award, whose winner this year reported on all for the chance of that one magical shot. You story of 10 million people. This is the power of liter- such rules is essential to this exhibition and its animal cruelty in Asia), however in general the will undoubtedly agree, if you take time to visit ature, the power of making a distant story the story purpose. In an age when every image we see is point is made in a more positive way; by show- the exhibition, the end result confirms that their of everyone. A story that you can’t ignore. manipulated to such a degree that we question ing us how much we have, it implies how much perseverance to wait for that real, truly wild what, if anything present, constitutes reality; we have to lose. animal is absolutely worth it. Want the world to know about your favourite read? it’s refreshing to look upon photographs that However what impressed me most was the If you want to see it in Felix send 300-400 words to capture the very concept of magnificence of the dedication the entrants possessed. Beneath eve- The Veolia Environment Wildlife Photogra- [email protected] untouched. Wildlife is, after all, most incred- ry photograph is a list of the equipment used pher of the Year at the Natural History Mu- ible without our interference. to take the shot, one or two sentences about seum till March. Students £4.50. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 19 ARTS

est known for his instantly Met in New York (to where this exhibit recognisable still lifes, the moves in the New Year). Three of his five WHAT’S Courtauld’s latest exhibition large final canvases are displayed (the oth- instead focuses on Cézanne’s ers cannot be loaned), along with many in- depictions of people at play. tricate studies of the individual farmers in NEW ABOUT HisB models were peasant farmers from pencil, watercolour and oil - Cézanne pro- his own estate, about whom the exhibi- duced far more preparatory work for this tion provides some intriguing snippets series than he usually did as he considered CEZANNE? of information. They are pictured smok- his subject very ambitious. ing and playing card games together, but The idea is to enable the visitor to fully Cézanne endows them with a gravity and appreciate Cézanne’s creative process over concentration of purpose totally unlike the the five years during which he produced It’s more than 100 depictions of the ‘immoral’ behaviours of this series of paintings and I really enjoyed peasants usual at this time (a second room trying to imagine how he worked. (This years since Cézanne, houses many examples of such works from exhibition has allowed art historians to the 16th and 17th centuries). Cézanne revise their understanding of the order in one of the great French himself said, “I love above all else the ap- which his various paintings were created). pearance of people who have grown old There is a relatively in-depth guide to each post-impressionist without breaking with old customs”. His painting giving insight into its subject and rough brush stokes and strong lines lend the artistic techniques, which helps as it painters died, so how the peasants a rugged, stoic air and there is necessary to appreciate each painting if is a stillness similar to that of his still lifes you don’t want to leave feeling a little dis- much more is there to suggesting the timelessness of the scene. satisfied by the small number of works. The mix of colours blended carefully to This is definitely worth a visit for anyone say? Find out at The make each block of colour are beautiful, interested in Cézanne and you will have although the compositions sometimes ap- plenty of time left to visit the rest of the Courtauld Gallery pear a little off balance. gallery which includes several works by Although there are fewer than 20 works Cézanne’s great influence, Pissarro. exhibited, they have been brought togeth- er from all over the world, including loans Until 16 January, free for full-time Christina Flanagan Paul Cézanne (1839-1906) Man with a Pipe, c.1893-96 from the Musée d’Orsay in Paris and the students. Marclay’s 24hr masterpiece

Eva Rosenthal Mena possible for a plot to materialize. Nev- ertheless, you believe in a plot. Or in Time will run away with you. It will many interweaving plots that twist and skip, jump, come to a standstill, and turn as the minute passes. Everything even explode in front of your very eyes seems to build up to the hour, where in a in Christian Marclay’s ‘The Clock’. sudden blast of clocks and actors shout- Marclay has made a twenty-four hour ing out the time as they run to their next film using snippets from movies that engagements, time appears to end. Then involve clocks and references to time. the clock starts ticking again. Every single minute of the day is ‘The Clock’ functions as just that; mapped out using scenes from famous a clock. If you were to play it on your old and new movies. James Bond will kitchen television, you would only have surreptitiously tell you what time it is to look or perhaps listen for a few sec- as he tracks some unknown person’s onds to tell the time. But ‘The Clock’ is movements; at four o’clock bands of much more than just a movie that tells excited children run out of classrooms the time. It is a visual representation of screaming as their teacher tells them to the infiniteness of time, a compilation slow down; and I am almost sure I saw of recognizable moments from the 20th Kevin Spacey walk across the screen and 21st centuries and a commentary on with a watch on his hand in a scene from the randomness of instants in life. The Usual Suspects. That is what it meant to me. I left the The logistics of the project are un- viewing room in a slightly dazed fashion imaginable. A moment in movie his- but wanting to capture every minute of tory was found for every minute of the the day as ‘The Clock’ does. day. Most minutes even have multiple Go and see it for just fifteen minutes clocks and ways of telling the time after a hard day of shopping or visiting from various different films. Moreover, the more serious museums near Pic- each scene is faultlessly edited so that it cadilly. One more thing: after the 13th runs into the next with no interruptions. of November the only way to see this Somehow, Marclay has even managed amazing ‘thing’ will be to pay a quarter to make music spill from its original of a million pounds to obtain one of only scene into the next, flowing constantly four available copies. in one direction. There is no plot. How could there be? Free at the White Cube, Mason’s Christian Marclay, The Clock (2010) single channel video, duration 24 hours. Realistically speaking it would be im- Yard til 13th November 20 Friday 5 NOVEMBer 2010 FELIX Music Editors: Greg Power Luke Turner Christopher Walmsley MUSIC [email protected] Album of The Week Ready for War? Ready for Love! Salem Warpaint King Night Scala IAMSOUND Records 28th October 2010 ★★★★★ Diogo Miguel Geraldes

I knew these girls were good. I knew they were hyped. I knew they could put on a great live performance. But still, I wasn’t expecting a sold out Scala only two days after they released Went to a gig, four beautiful babes... AND THEN I JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS. their fi rst album! There’s a bit of ruckus being raised on the blogosh- 2:54 opened the night with their “pre-pubes- pere about a phenomenon called ‘Witch-House’. Chi- cent Garbage”-like songs led by a extremely by Stella Mozgawa and followed by the exqui- the last song in their encore. As a very frequent cago-based band Salem are hailed as the originators foxy lead singer. Friction followed with a very site Jenny Lee Lindberg’s bass lines, the un- concert-goer, I’ve seen many great established of this so-called ‘genre’, and have just released their tight Fool’s Gold-meets-Mystery Jets happy expected melody breaks evidenced how great acts this year. LCD Soundsystem, Grizzly Bear, fi rst full-length ‘King Night’, collecting six new songs set, highly dominated by the high pitched, well musicians they all are. Everyone in the King’s Arcade Fire, Beirut, The Antlers, Broken So- alongside fi ve old favourites from their past singles played and placed, crisply joyful, Maghreb in- Cross venue was hypnotised with the fl awless cial Scene or The National have all impressed and EPs. Regardless of hipsters debates, Salem have spired guitar notes. Before leaving the stage, but still human performance. Their unique style me beyond belief for their live performances, made a genuinely brilliant, cohesive album, full of Friction mentioned that everybody that came of inserting songs into songs and silence into technique and brilliance. However, I wasn’t dense, atmospheric and interesting songs, they draw to see Warpaint was “in for a treat”. And oh music is what makes their album a defi nite expecting a similar reaction to this new, slightly you into a world that is Salem’s alone. Most appropri- boy, were they right! After a (perhaps too long) contester to any Top Albums of 2010 list. As inexperienced LA band. I could go on and de- ately described as a downtempo, drugged-out fusion sound check, the “angel-like choir” got up on highlights, I would like to pick “Beetles” for liver an endless list of adjectives of the likes of industrial and noise-rock, it is an album that re- stage and started delivering their “minimal-gap- its never-ending epicness, “Composure” and of ‘magnifi cent’ or ‘perfect’, but I won’t. I was wards repeated listens. Producer Dave Sardy cleans fi lling harmony”. The simultaneously contrast- “Set Your Arms Down” because they capture there, it’s all that matters. They are going to be up the sound somewhat, bringing out hidden beauty ing, yet completing vocals and guitars of Emily Warpaint’s essence and geniality and, obvi- huuuuge and stay for a while, so book yourself lying underneath the layers of murky noise. The amaz- Kokal and Theresa Wayman impressed on me a ously, the almost a-capella, involving, vocal tickets for their next concerts. Oh, and I’m in ing ‘Sick’ and ‘Trapdoor’ feature freaky, downtuned yin-yan’esque feeling of the performance. Led dominated four-way that was “Billie Holiday”, love. With all of them. drawl-rapping reminiscent of The Knife’s ‘Hanging Out’, but it is closer ‘Killer’ that fl oats my boat as one of the best tracks of the year.- Greg Power

1. Radiohead Most lis- 2. The xx UK Grime and the DJ-Mag Awards 3. Muse tened to 4. Florence + the Ahmed El-Refee gives us the lowdown on two wicked London events this week by Machine 5. Kings of Leon This is UK Grime Volume 1 DJMag Top 100 DJs of 2010 Felix Music 6. Daft Punk Fenchurch store, Covent Garden Ministry of Sound 7. The Killers 25th October 27th October members on 8. Bloc Party last.fm 9. Michael Jackson he UK Grime scene has been gain- ednesday was the fi nal of 10. Arcade Fire ing a lot of popularity in recent the DJMag Top 100 DJs times. With tracks such as ‘Too 2010. Ministry of Sound Many Man’ and artists such as played host to a star-stud- Join in at: http://www.last.fm/group/Felix+Music Skepta sweeping the charts. So on ded lineup featuring even- MondayT 25th, the launch night of ‘This is UK Wtual winner, Armin van Buuren and others Grime Volume 1’ took place at the Fenchurch such as Deadmau5, Fedde Le Grande, Laid- store in Covent Garden. It was a bit of a strange back Luke and Eddie Halliwell. Make sure not to miss venue if you ask me. One of the artists that really caught my eye We were sceptical at fi rst but when we got was Afrojack. He played a great selection of The Dillinger Escape Plan there, they had turned the whole store into an his own music and it justifi ed why he was in intimate music venue. The cream of the UK the top 20 DJs in the world. His great mix of Electric Ballroom, Camden Grime Scene were all on show, with the likes house and dance/electro really worked well and Tonight! (Friday 5th November) of members of Boy Better Know and other top the crowd really responded to what they were 7:00pm grime artists showed us what they had to offer hearing. I defi nitely see him as an artist to look and it was very impressive. The great mix of out for in future. If you’re like me, you like a bit of math-metal on the tunes and well thought lyrics made for some Later that evening, the top 3 were announced. side of your lectures. Breaking out of New Jersey great music and the free bar went down a treat, Even though Armin van Buuren was voted back in 1999 with their landmark release ‘Calcu- which really got the music fl owing. When we number 1, Deadmau5 played a fantastic set lating Infi nity’, these pioneers of insanely extreme were all booted out, the cameras came out and that made me question why he was only at num- metal have spawned a legion of imitators. Over the people were MC’ing on the street with passers ber 4! Some may disagree, but I really think he years they have kept evolving, incorporating catchy by bemused at what they saw. deserved to be number 1. He really shone as a choruses and experimental noise jams, leaving This is how grime has grown in the under- top class DJ with all of his own remixes and everyone else trailing far behind. And ever since ground music world, with artists recording tracks. His unique style was a hit with the fans, they collaborated with Mr Bungle/Faith No More their tracks on small cameras and sticking especially the fact that he mixes all of his tracks mastermind chameleon Mike Patton, they’ve been them on Youtube and creating mixtapes. Even on the fl y! getting funkier too. Prepare for a night of moshing, though it is now becoming more mainstream, If you get a chance to see him live, I defi - slam-dancing and maybe a little grooving as well. I the essence of grime hasn’t changed. I’m a big nitely recommend you go and see him. Funnily can promise you it’ll be a better workout than you’ll grime fan myself, and I really see it going plac- enough, he will be at Earls Court on the 18th ever get at Ethos. - Greg Power es with such talented artists churning out some December together with Magnetic Man and Blacks (I swear that’s his name) rock- quality tracks. Zane Lowe. Get your tickets quick! in’ the mic like there’s no tomorrow FELIX Friday 5 NOVEMBer 2010 21 MUSIC

A playlist for Feeder blast classics rocking out...

Angry? Sexually frustrated? Don’t let it all out by starting a fi ght or raping someone, listen to and bring the rock these gems intead. Stevie Ray Vaughn- Oli Wilkie appreciates a humble Feeder in Shepherds Bush Couldn’t Stand The Weather Feeder Shepherds Bush Empire a wedding, they didn’t really mix well. 28th October At any given time, one part of the crowd Robben Ford- ★★★★✩ would be buzzing whilst the rest would Rugged Road be patiently waiting for the songs they knew and loved. Luckily for the latter, fter the quickest devour- the songs in the set list were far from be- Rolling Stones- ing of a Nandos chicken ing in chronological order so you didn’t Sympathy For The Devil you have ever seen, my have to wait long. plus one and I hopped Unsurprisingly the bands most memo- over to watch Feeder rable songs, Buck Rogers (hes got a Led Zeppelin- Aplay at Shepherds Bush Empire, one of brand new carrr..you know the one), Ramble On London’s most iconic and surprisingly Seven Days In The Sun, Feeling a Mo- intimate venues. ment, Just A Day, and Find The Colour Feeder came on to a great reception all brought the house down, their respec- AC/DC- and, after forgetting the support act’s tive live renditions felt so invigorating You Shook Me All Night name mid-way through thanking them and life-affi rming that even the most (awkward…), got to it straight away reluctant of gig-goers found themselves Long with a loud and energetic rendition of shifting rhythmically in their seats. White Lines, taken from their latest al- The best thing about the gig was the Aerosmith- bum Renegades. humility of the band. Here is a band that Feeder’s music has changed so much shares playlists with Kings Of Leon, Kill- F.I.N.E through the past two decades that fans ers, and Oasis but that doesn’t give off of their new music are very different that holier-than-thou crap. They came, Black Sabbath- from the older fans. A bit like bringing they played, and everyone had a really In the world of Feeder, dark hair with blond highlights are in... Do not, however, think that this applies to the rest of us grandparents together with uni mates at good time. Can you really ask for more? War Pigs

The Clash - Straight To Hell Mike Hadreas Imperial PhD Liars Proud Evolution If you want to share a Mute mind-blowing playlist send opens his heart student releases ★★★★★ it in to music.felix@gmail. com Perfume Genius a debut album Cecil Sharpe House Liars started out as a dance-punk 19th October four piece from the same New York ★★★★✩ scene that bred LCD Soundsystem Mitchell Museum Todd Kuffner before they fi red their rhythm section Christopher Walmsley and dramatically changed their sound. The Peter’s Port Memorial Squirrel Hunter in Training Service This abrupt stylistic shift resulted in a Electra French Records Mike Hadreas quietly released his de- Unsigned series of albums that contained darker ★★★★★ ★★★✩✩ but album ‘Learning’ earlier this year and more experimental songs, coated in to much critical acclaim. He has been reverb and detuned guitar. Their most likened vocally to a particularly down- you feel captivated by his memories but Don’t care for synth? Tired of auto- recent album, Sisterworld, fi nds them Glasgow has been the birth-place of beat version of Sufjan Stevens, however also uncomfortable at their remarkable tune? Then Todd Kuffner’s debut album, bridging the gap between their more many a cheeky, ‘indie’ group: from the in contrast to ornate and sprawling ar- bluntness and intensity. ‘Mr Peterson,’ ‘Squirrel Hunter in Training’ may well abrasive and accessible moments to excellent Frightened Rabbit to mind rangements Perfume Genius mainly a song detailing the suicide of an older be the album you’ve been waiting for. stunning effect, and their new single numbingly banal Fratellis. Mitchell relies solely on simple piano melodies lover - with paedophilic undertones - Currently studying for a PhD at Impe- Proud Evolution, released of the 19th Museum, named after a library like the with the mere accompaniment of synth could be considered an example of the rial, Kuffner is a self-confessed musical of october, is its powerful centrepiece, intellectual clichés they are, have just strings. His sound musically is rather of latter. ‘dictator’, which has led to this album merging a propulsive bassline with released their debut album The Peter’s a similar tone to Emily Haines’ solo ef- One criticism that could be asserted being a solo project in it’s truest sense, Angus Andrew’s chanting, spooked vo- Port Memorial Service. Their sound is fort ‘Knives don’t have your back,’ writ- here is that really there is only one emo- with every aspect being done by the man cals. - Jamie Fraser not unique coming across as a jangly ten while mourning her father’s passing. tion conveyed. Unlike the Emily Haines himself. lo-fi sound of 2006. Unlike many a de- ‘Learning’ is an open heart pouring album, there are no songs where you re- This album is the antithesis of today’s tic feeling to the record and will please but album this one fl ows from track to out an ethereal sorrow for an album’s ally feel as if the artist is getting through bland, anonymous pop music – the com- fans of Jack Johnson and James Blunt. track tastefully. There are only a few duration, and it is clear to see how the sorrow, or are particularly uplift- positions are simple yet effective and the Overall, this is an excellent fi rst re- delicious lyrical crumbs, producing much the songs wrench on Hadreas as ing. It leaves you undecided, whether Lo-Fi production lends a sense of inti- lease, showing that whilst we search far a cheap cookie on the highly stacked he performs only meters away. Every there is hope for healing these scars or macy to the record. The honest, heartfelt and wide for new music, amazing musi- indie music bakery shelf: briefl y sat- line is stressed as if its contents cause whether there is still much more hurt to lyrics combined with melodic guitar and cal talent may be right under our noses. isfying but lacking in chocolate chips. great pain to reminisce, which make reconcile. mandolin lines give a summery, optimis- - Stephen Smith -Sarah-Emily Mutch 22 Friday 5 NOVEMBer 2010 FELIX Music Editors: Greg Power Luke Turner Christopher Walmsley MUSIC [email protected] These New Puritans join with Britten Sinfonia at The Barbican to riotous success TNP & Britten Sinfonia The Barbican the problem was solved. The result was a little anxious that he would choke up had brought in a singer to create their 23rd October this performance at the Barbican where completely. As a front man, though, he latest album ‘North’ and take them ★★★★✩ the band would be joined not only by was very much a cross between Thom away from the dubstep for which they the brass and woodwind of the Britten Yorke and Gollum from Lord of the are famed. The performance has ele- James Gollings Sinfonia, but by a childrens choir and Rings: nervy stomping, gangly and ments of Dubstep but was very much a Foley artists armed with everything deep in the music. As a fan of both Ra- somber affair: not the kind of stuff that How could a gig featuring a children’s from swords to Tycho drums and the diohead and Tolkien, this came some would be played at club. The mood was choir, the Britten Sinfonia and a man aforementioned melons. way to making up for a weaker vocal such that a dubstep-tinged cover of the smashing melons in the name of music Front man Jack Barnett was the only performance. gloriously sparse Radiohead’s ‘Video- be anything other than sublime? detractor from what was an otherwise The ferocious single ‘Attack Mu- tape’ sat well alongside their own ma- These New Puritans (TNP) had felt perfect performance of Hidden’s am- sic’ was a highlight with Jack’s vocals terial. that people were never quite sure what bitious, beat driven, classically infl u- backed hauntingly by the children’s Although not the best gig I’ve ever to do at their gigs. Should they mosh, enced Art Rock. He was apparently in choir and the sharpening swords of the been to, it was still an outstanding per- dance, or just stand and admire wist- the midst of a throat infection which Foley artists. ‘Hologram’ was the ten- formance. The album is a delight and fully? When composer André De Ridder explains the exceptionally quiet vocals. derest song off the album and made for a seeing performed live so faithfully re- approached TNP about performing their The higher notes on ‘Orion’ were terri- beautiful live performance. affi rmed that it should have been nomi- Jack Barnett: bastard offspring widely acclaimed second album Hidden, bly strained and I found myself feeling Support came from Darkstar who nated for the Mercury Prize. of Thom Yorke and Gollum

Avenged Sevenfold + Stone Wilder Sour + Hellyeah valled the headliners’. Corey Taylor was The Rev, who died last December, leav- ously left the gig with cheeks sore from The Flowerpot Hammersmith Apollo his usual fi re-breathing yet slightly emo- ing the demos from which A7X’s latest smiling and feet tired from dancing. 26th October 2010 30th October 2010 tional self, and gave us a solo serenade album was assembled. We all sang ‘So Despite a mellow and hence, oddly ★★★★✩ ★★★★✩ with an acoustic guitar midway through. Far Away’ and ‘Afterlife’ in his memory. placed open act from Tinpan Orange This led into ‘Through Glass’, the Then to top it all off, the crowd chose - an acoustic trio of sorts similarly Alex Malcolm Eliot Barford much-appreciated singalong of the eve- classic ‘Bat Country’ for the fi nale, from Australia - as soon as The Cat ning; other highlights included ‘Made of which was frantic to say the least. Empire set foot on stage the crowd It’s been a whirlwind 18 months for It’s a dark, windswept Saturday night Scars’ and ‘30/30-150’, whose consider- All in all, with an excited crowd and was theirs. Never have I seen an audi- Wilder, Bristol’s hippest Indie offering in October – Mischief Night, as some able heaviness gave drummer Roy May- consistently good sound, it was a gig I’ll ence clap and move with such enthu- for years. Since they’ve been scooped call it – and outside the Hammersmith orga a chance to shine. Fewer verbose remember. For fans of melodic, heavy siasm. by Rough Trade records and toured with Apollo waits a rabble of youths in band interludes from Corey might have been rock music, both groups are highly rec- If in the past you have ever been left Julian Casablancas and The Macca- shirts and beardy old men with bad an improvement, though… ommended. disappointed after watching a live act, bees, intimate pub gigs such as tonight tattoos. It’s the fi rst concert of A7X Finally, it was time for the main act, I prescribe you these Melbourne boys. in Kentish Town’s The Flowerpot will & Stone Sour’s Halloween weekend whom all the dirty-haired angstyboppers A beautifully orchestrated set, not only surely soon be a thing of the past . The Cat Empire double bill! had been waiting for. They didn’t disap- O2 Brixton Academy focusing on songs from their new al- I barely had time to buy a pint when a Kicking off the show was Hellyeah, point; from ‘Nightmare’ through ‘Criti- 23rd October 2010 bum Cinema, but instead reaching a diminutive fi gure takes a seat behind her a metal supergroup from Texas. They cal Acclaim’ via oldie ‘Unholy Confes- ★★★★★ perfect compromise between hits from drum kit and starts beating out an infec- proved to be a lot of fun, with songs like sions’, the guitars sounded sweet and M their previous albums and their great tious rhythm heralding the start of the ‘Alcohaulin’ Ass’ and ‘Cowboy Way’ Shadows strolled across the stage like it Katherine Portilla new material. Old favorites such as gig. As she pounds the skins, vocalist channelling the spirit of Pantera. Vin- was his own – which, voice on form, it ‘Hello’ and ‘Two Shoes’ had the crowd Sam snakes his way to the stage, urg- nie Paul, drummer, invited us to throw was. Halfway through, oversized-drum- If you haven’t heard of these guys yet, going mental, generating a unanimous ing everyone to get on their feet. The the horns for his late brother Dimebag, kit pioneer (and genuinely excellent it’s about time. The Cat Empire fl ew feeling of euphoria which defi nes message is clear, they want everyone which was nice. Dream Theater drummer, Mike Port- all the way from Aussie land to grace us The Cat Empire’s music. In between dancing, and all it takes is 30 seconds of Next up, Stone Sour delivered a thor- noy) left his stool and we were invited with their spirit-lifting mix of jazz, ska, songs, we were treated to an array of opener ‘White Noise’ before everyone is oughly awesome performance that ri- to remember the late Jimmy Sullivan, or rock and everything in between. I seri- solos, from an insane 6 minute drum pushing to the front. solo to some sick scratching from the Older singles ‘TBT’ and ‘Girls Vs band’s very own turntables paired with Boys’ provoked the loudest cheers but beat box-style vocals. Not only do they every new track packed full of soaring mesh together raw talent somewhat mi- synths and cutting guitars wows the raculously, The Cat Empire have an crowd. For such a new band (and de- undeniable skill to interact with, or per- spite the bass cab blowing up halfway haps better yet said, charm the crowd. through) the set is surprisingly tight but In short, I recommend this band to with only 30 minutes on stage and no anyone in search of that special, yet support acts, the crowd are left wanting. indescribable sound we often lack on In a fl ash it’s all over, leaving onlook- our iPods nowadays. You will fi nd mu- ers to creep sluggishly back to their sic that can truly put a smile on your seats, but an impression has certainly face, all the while making you feel like been made. Wilder’s electronica fused getting up and grooving to the tune. If indie may not be the most original you do come across an opportunity to sound of the moment but their talent to see The Cat Empire live I assure you play live is undeniable; one of the best The Cat Empire: these pussy cats are pretty damn horny. AMIRIGHT? HUH? Anyone...? it is an experience gained, not money bands I’ve seen for a long time and spent. highly recommended.' unionpage Green Week Photo Competition Union Council

Green Week is happening from the vote to support 22nd - 26th November this year and to celebrate, we’re launching the Green Browne Review Photo Competition. We want you to take green week photos of anything being done around On November 1, Union Council met to College that’s environmentally friendly - it debate the new Higher Education Funding can be research, a practical, a fi eld trip, Policy, which supported the overall something College is doing to be greener direction of the Browne Review whilst or just someone being environmentally pointing out its fl aws. aware. The categories are: Energy The policy also mandates the Union to Recycling lobby for a better bursary system and The Natural Environment 22-26 for College to increase its Widening Water Participation scheme. After a 2 hour debate, Council passed the policy. Make sure your photos are as high a resolution as possible and include a november You can read the full policy alongside caption of around 30 words describing the all the other outcomes and decisions photo. The top 10 photos in each category of Union Meetings online at will be displayed in the College Entrance imperialcollegeunion.org/representation. in an exhibition unveiled at the beginning committees. of Green Week. To send in your photos, email [email protected] Take part in University Challenge Represent your Faculty Union!

For the fi rst time Imperial plans to play off RSMU the Faculty Unions (and one Constituent Union) against each other to provoke 11 November 18:00-23:00 in competition to create the best possible RSM G.41 University Challenge team. The team selected will represent Imperial in the new series of University Challenge. After CGCU the team led by Gilead Amit showed us 15 November 12:00-14:00 in just how far a team from Imperial can Chem Eng LT1 go, the competition is on to see which Faculty has the smartest students. The teams they select will battle it out in Trials for each Faculty team will be held: a nerve-wracking fi nal on 22 November in SAF LT G34 where the four best RCSU contestants will be selected to compete for Imperial on the TV series. Gilead Amit 8 November 17:30-19:00 will be asking the questions and it’s sure SAF LT G.34 to be fantastic event. If you’d like to take part go along to your Faculty selection event and see if you’re smarter than the ICSMSU rest! 9 November 19:30-23:00 Reynolds Bar

imperialcollegeunion.org 24 Friday 05 November 2010 felix Film Editors: Jade Hoffman Matt Allinson Ed Knock FILM fi [email protected] Classic Cinema A warm and witty Akira modern family film The Kids Are All Right Director Lisa Cholodenko Screenwriter Lisa Cholodenko, Stuart Blumberg Cast Annette Bening, Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo John Park

The kids are all right. The title makes that clear. But what about the adults? How is a lesbian couple supposed to react when their children start looking for their sperm donor? And what about when they start bonding with him? When he works his way into their seemingly normal Compensating for something...? family life? The adult protagonists of The Kids Are All Right are lesbians, but this theme is Akira is one of the most important Japanese ani- never exploited. It’s not necessarily about the mated films ever made. It tells the story of best lesbian marriage, it just centres on one. They’re friends Kaneda and Tetsuo, members of a violent a normal suburban family and Nic (Annette biker gang in post-World War III “Neo-Tokyo”, 2019. Bening) and Jules (Julianne Moore) face the Tetsuo discovers he has a huge power he cannot same challenges that all married couples face. contain, and the consequences for everyone are Joni, (Mia Wasikowska) their smart 18-year- cataclysmic. old daughter, is the one who makes the call to At first glance, Akira is an answer to the futuris- the biological dad, with her 15-year-old brother Felix readers, we love you thiiiiiiiis much! tic, dystopian Western films of the preceding era Laser’s (Josh Hutcherson) persuasion. Their – the gang’s costumes and highway battles recall father turns out to be Paul (Mark Ruffalo), an Mad Max, and Neo-Tokyo’s looming, luminous vast- easy-going restaurant owner who says things Ruffalo has been perfectly cast in the role of but, as the film comes to a close – perhaps due ness is directly inspired by Blade Runner. Fans of like “yeah…sure…cool…right on…why not?” the sperm donor and you can quite easily see to the film’s title – Cholodenko seems to be a these kinds of action movies will like Akira, as they They meet (why not?), and of course, it’s awk- him as the weed-smoking, womanizing college lot more interested in showing the clash be- did when it was released; consequently, this animé ward. But when, Nic and Jules find out, Nic drop-out who donated sperm for money. He tween Jules and Nic. After all, it’s the adults was instrumental in introducing English-speakers - the more controlling figure in the family - has may not have graduated from college or have we should be worried about, not the kids. to the wonders of Japanese fiction. From danger- a difficult time coming to terms with this sud- a fancy job to boast but he isn’t dumb – and he What makes The Kids Are All Right so warm ous government experiments and an underground den revelation. Jules, the slightly unfocused does, in fact, give out some very logical advice and witty is its script that cleverly balances resistance to orbital lasers and psionic combat, it one, has a more relaxed attitude, and this au- to his children, which makes matters worse for both comedy and drama. The intelligent dia- has everything an action sci-fi lover could want and tomatically creates tension in their comfortable Nic. She is on the verge of exploding when logue gives us plenty of moments to laugh, but more, all centred on a terrifying secret hidden deep upper-middle class home. Paul tries to give parenting tips. also to reflect on the complex situation these beneath the city. Like the best anime and manga, it Bening is superb here: whilst she stays away It’s a shame that the children’s subplots are characters have to face. The humour is never takes the tropes we’ve already seen to their stylis- from portraying a total bitch, she is the protec- hastily concluded. Wasikowska, (considerably too gross or outrageous and the drama is never tic and philosophical extremes – although unfortu- tive mother bear trying to protect her family. better here than in Alice in Wonderland) is too sentimental or manipulative. Director/ nately this includes a lengthy and confusing ending, She speaks from the mind, whereas Moore, given a set of friends she can confide in, but as writer Lisa Cholodenko knows not to take the a frequent problem in animé. who is just as excellent as her co-star, has a she prepares and goes off to college, they dis- film too seriously. With enough racy humour to Akira also stands apart thanks to its uniquely Jap- higher level of tolerance and speaks from the appear. The same goes for Hutcherson. There thoroughly convince as an adult dramedy, but anese take on the pervasive fears of the Cold War: heart. The two are immediately convincing as is a big development when it comes to the also mixed with undeniably stirring moments Akira’s Tokyo faces annihilation for a second time the loving couple, now facing their marriage conflict between his balanced, well-behaved that the audience will be able to relate to, the and its inhabitants cry out for a saviour. Arguably, being put to the ultimate test. character and his best friend’s wilder attitude, film is a true exploration of what the term Akira is a reply to Watchmen, the most acclaimed “modern family” really is. “graphic novel” of all time; both address fears of global destruction – and both took their creative forms to a new level of quality, garnering legions of new fans in the process. Eliot Barford Screen Green! eco film festival

EVENTS Jade Hoffman largest gold ore deposit which, located in a ering the problems of farming and the Western rural mining town, soon becomes the centre diet; Lithuanian film The River, which looks at iCU Cinema - Scott Pilgrim vs. The Opening yesterday and running until the 11th of international interest and disrupts the quiet the lives of inhabitants of a village that shares World of November, the London European Docu- village life. ground wih a chemical plant; and the animated £3/£4 for members/non-members mentary Festival, “Screen Green!” is featuring This documentary, followed by a Q&A with short Fridge about the greenhouse effect. For Tue 9th Nov. 6:30pm. Union Concert Hall some of the best of European environmental the director, sets the tone for the rest of the fes- Imperial students in particular, this festival is documentaries in locations all over London. tival. Screen Green aims to explore the often a must and provides a fresh perspective and The festival is showcasing ten films across strained relationship humans have with nature, sharp insight into topics so frequently dis- FilmSoc - Ten Canoes - FREE five venues, including South Kensington’s and features an impressive range of thought- cussed here. Thu 11th Nov. 6:30pm. Mech Eng 220 Ciné Lumière, and kicked off with Gold Fu- provoking documentaries to highlight this. tures last night. This Hungarian/Romanian Among others, the festival’s programme in- Go to http://www.europeandocfestival.org. documentary follows the story of Europe’s cludes Planeat, a British documentary consid- uk/ for more details. There’s no need to rush in for Felix on a Friday morning Read the week’s issue online at felixonline.co.uk from 7am every Friday morning 26 Friday 05 NOVEMber 2010 FELIX

Food Editor: Dana Li

FOOD [email protected] Your review Danes says: Are food bloggers entitled

Pret A Manger is the answer to hungry lunchtimes waiting for the afternoon lectures to start. Every- to the right of whinging? body mocks its previous affi liation with McDonalds but Pret leads the way with the selection of sand- wiches available daily. Not mentioning the humon- Food blogger is sued for bad review after disastrous meal gous range of hot soup that they rotate through ev- ery day, albeit, I’ve already sampled my way though that list of soups. Crazy Pret fan that I am. Their hot Chin Hua Yap chocolate also satisfi es my sugar cravings, and has a much nicer texture than the Starbucks equivalent, Food is more than mere sustenance; it should whipped cream or not. be a celebration and a chance for get-together. Food should bring joy, delightful conversations with dining-mates and satiation. Sometimes, however, food brings out more important is- sues - poverty, governmental corruption, Jamie Oliver’s rather unhygienic habits and, wait for this, freedom of speech. You may think I have completely lost my mind, what has food got to do with freedom of speech, you ask? The truth is that food is an in- timately subjective thing, descriptively fl imsy and almost always perceived different by dif- ferent people; think Marmite. Ask every Nige- lla wannabe and you’ll fi nd out that there are as many taste preferences as there are plastic cups outside Eastside Bar on Saturdays. Many, Share your favourite restaurant or cafe in 80-100 if you are unaware of the post-Friday carnage. words with us, send it to [email protected] Exactly because food perception is varied and personal, everyone should be given an oppor- tunity to express his or her views objectively, on whatever platform one is comfortable with. Given how we are living in an age with con- Coke Chicken stant bombardment from partially factual ad- Starting from the basics of cooking, literally (Credits to Natalie Dee Comics) vertisements (apparently everything lowers risk of heart diseases now) and near-impossible claims, the voice of the common-man can be “My advice? Get your- Dear All, rather obscured. Peer reviews on printed me- We are no longer interested in speak- dia, blogs, online review aggregators and social self a waterproof plastic ing to Shivya. She has been unable networking sites are extremely valuable sourc- to provide evidence to back-up her es of information before making decisions, poncho and bring it every alleged claims. Our investigations defi nitely more trustworthy than a billboard ad. have shown that her alleged claims What happens, though, when a factual review time you dine at an have been made with the intention of of a restaurant lands you a lawsuit? defaming us. What happened was, Shivya, the food-blog- Indian restaurant.” ger behind ‘The Shooting Star’ had a rather The email that Zaffran sent Shivya unpleasant experience in a restaurant. Shivya was having lunch at an Indian restaurant when a waiting staff stumbled and spilled curry and restaurant should have shown at least a respect- pened after, but however it develops, it is a curds all over her back. Naturally, thanks to ful amount of concern for the customer after horrible sign of corporations bullying the ev- This student must have been on coke... Murphy’s blessing, Shivya had to be wearing the spilling. Also, docking the waiter’s pay is eryday man. (Shivya did not want to make a a black jacket. It is common knowledge that just pure unkind. I’m aware that there are other statement to Felix on the matter in light of the white fl uids on black jacket is not exactly the restaurants with similar practices when the legal proceedings she is currently involved No barbeque sauce in the cupboard? Try this recipe prettiest thing on earth. Thus, Shivya spoke to waiting staff make mistakes, but it is just darn in). Being sued for an article detailing factual that a Chinese college student invented as an al- the head staff who appeared to have asked her right mean. events is most unacceptable. Online citizen ternative. God knows what enlightened her to use to foot her bill, and when confronted about the The story doesn’t end here. Shivya, our food food journalism is what keeps our wallets safe these ingredients: spillage, the head staff argued that “it happens blogger here, was naturally unhappy with the from the charming little lies that restaurants sometimes with food”. Great, fi rst the jacket, response from the restaurant’s management often use to lure in big bucks. Restaurants 4 chicken breasts, boneless, skinless and now, an unreasonable staff. The manager and, consistent with the anger-dealing mecha- should deal with complains admirably and 1 can Diet Coke of the restaurant in question called Shivya a nism of most bloggers, decided to post her ex- not attempt to silent the speaker. If restaurants 1 cup ketchup short while later and explained that the waiter perience online. Shivya posted a rather angsty eliminate food bloggers by scaring them with was hurt. The manager also said that Shivya review on a Singapore-based peer review ag- legal notices, where would we get our daily Place chicken breasts into a skillet or Dutch oven. would be compensated. Fair enough? Nay; the gregate site, Hungry Go Where, and about a doses of food porn? However, it must also be Pour cola and ketchup over the chicken and bring to compensation would come from the waiter’s month later, received an e-mail from the mod- said that all bloggers, no matter what they lead a boil. Cook, covered over medium heat until chick- salary. erator asking for her details to verify her review you to believe, are at least slightly narcissistic. en is done (approximately one hour). Raise heat and Clearly, this story has much dramatic poten- as the restaurant had refuted her review. What Whether the blogger in question enjoyed her cook uncovered until sauce thickens. This might tial and might make an excellent short fi lm, but followed was an e-mail from the restaurant to little curry-induced fame is beyond any con- take a while, so keep a close eye on it. that aside, the restaurant had made a number Shivya requesting for her contact details so as jecture. of fundamentally annoying mistakes. First, In- to send her a legal notice. Apparently, the res- My advice? Get yourself a waterproof plas- Or the lazy student version: dump everything into a dian curry and curds should not be on anything taurant believed Shivya had written the review tic poncho and bring it every time you dine crockpot and cook until done (about 3 hours or so). but cooking pans, serving bowls and in the gut, as a means to defame them. at an Indian restaurant. Tell everyone you en- customers’ jackets are no exceptions. Next, the There are little details on what exactly hap- joyed Halloween too much to retire the ghoul FELIX Friday 05 november 2010 27 FOOD

THE COOKING Introducing... SOCIETY Food markets

If you’re a regular at the Mitchell Debrabant Farmers’ Market in Beit (Wednesdays 11:30-4pm,) gives us a fl avour of these nearby food markets their club (sandwich) are also worth a visit: Duke of York Square Food Market “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” – Vir- Off King’s Road is this little ginia Woolf. gem of a market, selling eve- We at the Cooking Society came to the rything from French cheeses same conclusion. After all, these three to cupcakes, but also cui- things are what we’re here for, right? I’d sines ranging from Malay- like to add “party well” to the list, but us sian to Moroccan. The mar- Imperial students know better... ket was originally the idea of It all started three years ago in Pem- the nearby Partridges, which bridge Halls, when the founding com- you should drop by whilst mittee members were but young Fresh- you’re at it. A Saturday after- ers. Whether upon returning from a noon out for the food blog- gruelling day at university, or stumbling The basics of cooking begins with an odd-looking stick woman and a black pan cooking on a distasteful hob gers or the intrigued alike. home after a good night out, a hearty Every Saturday. 80 Duke of meal was always in order. Fortunately, York Square, Chelsea, SW3 most people in our halls were enthusias- To this end, we hold fortnightly cook- Chilean earthquake victims this year. cessful Pastry session where the mem- 4LU. Nearest tube : South tic cooks. At least once a week, ten of us ing events, each pertaining to a spe- This year we will be holding many bers made their own pastry which they Kensington or so would each cook a dish that could cifi c theme which changes every ses- more such events, with a planned shared fi lled with ingredients of their choice, easily feed four, then squeeze into one of sion. Events in the past have included a session with the Chocolate society mak- chosen from a wide variety of fresh pro- the tiny kitchens and eat enough to feed Christmas dinner, a cake sale for RAG ing truffl es and raw chocolates and duce. Everyone walked away happily Union Market a small village. Our love for food grew week and an Empanadas-themed (South another one of our popular Invention with either a delicious home-made tart and grew, as did our waistlines, but let’s American pasties) fund raiser for the sessions where members must make do for the fl at mates or a full belly. not err on that. with a random selection of ingredients. It soon came to our attention that We also offer delectable social events, Upcoming events in November there was a need, indeed a hunger, for “Our love for food including subsidized restaurant outings Saturday 6th November a Cooking Society at Imperial College. and visits to local Farmer’s markets and Guy Fawkes Fest - Bernard Sunley Hall Our mission? To end the student’s ste- grew and grew, as food fairs. We are also hoping to secure reotypical diet of overcooked pasta and tickets to the MasterChef Live event on Wednesday 10th November dodgy kebabs, to help cooking virgins did our waistlines, the 12-14th November, featuring ac- Afternoon Baking Session at the JCR to learn the basics and to further the exper- claimed celebrity chefs such as Michel raise funds for RAG tise of accomplished cooks, and last but but let’s not err on Roux Jr. and the iconic TV show pre- not least to promote healthy eating in a senters John Torode and Greg Wallace. Thursday 11th November world overrun by processed gunk. that.” A fortnight ago, we held a very suc- Cake Sale at the JCR Without needing to trek to South East London, you can savour the delights of Rothschild wine, Bread Fac- tory and Neal’s Yard Dairy. The best of the 1920s: Prohibition is back Situated in a Grade II-listed building, this airy local mar- ket exhibits the best of Brit- ish goods. Albeit not cheap, Dana Li after four incredibly successful events. it will still be a far cry from Mark Holdstock, the mastermind be- Whole Foods’ extortionate Those who paid attention in GCSE His- hind the concept, makes you sip liquor prices. Everyday from 7am tory will remember what a fantastic time out of teacups, hides bottles among the 472 Fulham Road, SW6 1920s America was: cue Rudolph Valen- plants and even organizes a mock raid 1BY. Nearest tube: Fulham tino, the fi rst heartthrob of Hollywood’s - so fear not if you think your squeaky Broadway silent fi lms; thriving underground clean criminal record is about to be speakeasies under the Prohibition act tainted. Complete with gambling tables and the infamous Valentine Day’s Mas- and fl appers dancing the Charleston, Borough Market sacre of Al Capone. Just don’t mention Prohibition offers an edge to the stan- the Depression that followed... dard RnB nights saturating the clubbing A little further out, London’s So 80 years after the booze ban scene. The only requirement for punt- oldest food market hosts vari- was lifted, why on earth am I talking ers is to turn up with attire refl ective of ous fresh food stalls under its about Prohibition? The illegal parties the ‘Roaring Twenties’, whether that be roof. A must visit for London- it spawned serving moonshine and the fl apper dresses or moustaches and pin- ers and tourists, with argu- like has inspired an increasingly popular stripe waistcoats. able the best brownies on sale event, titled ‘Prohibition’, no less. Saturday 6th November 2010, doors here. Hint. Saturdays from Rooting from the humble Bourne & open from 8pm at the Bloomsbury Ball- 9am. Southwark St, Bankside, Hollingsworth bar in Fitzrovia which room WC1B 4DA. Tickets cost £15 SE1 1TJ. Nearest tube: London catered to 80 people, the impressive from www.prohibition1920s.com and Bridge. Dancing fl appers, illegal moonshine but no Wall Street Crash in sight Bloomsbury Ballroom is quite a step up are selling out fast! 28 Friday 05 NOVEMber 2010 FELIX

Games Editor: Simon Worthington

GAMES [email protected] Web Games Same old story for Fable 3 Each week we’re going to bring you a selection of fresh, free and fun web games that you can play right away in your browser. Unless otherwise specified, Sean Harbison you’re going to need the Adobe Flash Player plug-in which can be installed from http://get.adobe.com/ Welcome back to the Kingdom of Albion! 50 flashplayer/. years on from the setting of Fable II, Fable III tells the story of a prince having to overthrow the tyrant king that is his brother. The game takes you through the prince’s role at the head AVOIDAL of the revolution having to complete quests in avoidal.com order to convince faction leaders that you are worthy to start the uprising. Fable III and its predecessors have many similarities. The graphics are essentially the same, though this is no bad thing. The attention to detail remains extremely high and the theme benefi ts from the cartoony-style. The voice act- ing is extraordinary, featuring a top cast of John Cleese, Stephen Fry and Simon Pegg. Having your character complimented by these great actors feels like an amazing achievement! The comedy associated with previous Fable games but causes your weapons to change depending You can spend hours exploring a cave fi nding also returns. You often fi nd yourself laughing on your actions. This actually gives a smaller only a bandit’s outfi t, which is a complete let at random comments from passers-by, which array of weapons as there are essentially two down and a real disappointment. really makes the game enjoyable. possibilities for each weapon: good or evil. Morality is at the core of Fable III, as with The combat is identical to the previous Levelling up also takes a new route, as rather the previous games, but the decisions you must games, and it can get repetitive and boring. It than gaining experience by using one type of make are much more diffi cult. The subtleties offers no challenge and really detracts from the weapon (ranged, etc.) you can spend your ac- and ambiguities of morality are brought to light better points of the game. This has always been quired guild seals to upgrade styles of fi ghting. and show the darker side of being a ruler. Right ‘Enemies as weapons’ is the idea behind this mouse- a fl aw of the Fable series and you would have A great addition is the ability to mix spells. from the start you must make a horrifi c choice, controlled arcade game. Destroy the blue stars by thought on their third attempt Lionhead Studios Whereas being a mage in the previous games showing yourself as a selfi sh or selfl ess leader. setting off the traps that you must yourself avoid - red could have made some alterations to improve meant mastering one spell and using that to the The diffi culty of this fi rst decision surprised me stars will chase you around the screen and yellow such an integral part of the gameplay. Combat death, you now upgrade all spells at the same but it’s a great opening as the game instantly spikes fly in a straight line when activated. It sounds has only improved in the smoothness of swap- time and then can mix and match, combining throws you into the deep end. The game leads pretty easy, but when there’s enemies bearing down ping weapons: it’s easy to switch from bashing the likes of fi re and electricity in one spell. towards you becoming ruler of Albion and on you and no way to escape a small panic does someone’s face in with a sword to shooting the Once again the majority of the game is eventually, on taking the throne, your every start to set in. Graphics aren’t particularly amazing next man with a pistol. This time around the taken up earning people’s respect by complet- decision visibly shapes the world around you. but at least they don’t get in the way. A good way to fl uidity of combat is much better than in Fable ing quests to collect guild seals. The number Fable III allows you to relive the enjoy- spend an idle ten minutes. II as delay between actions is minimal, giving of seals you have determines whether a faction able experiences of Fable I & II, however it a real feeling that you’re controlling an experi- will help you start the revolution. Fable III’s fails to bring enough new features or repair enced fi ghter. quests are more engaging and lengthier which fl aws which both predecessors contained. If The weapon choice has fallen dramatically. is relieving as previously Fable quests felt too you’re looking for a completely new experi- Fable II allowed you to collect a large combi- similar and repetitive. Exploration is still im- ence prepare to be disappointed. Nonethe- Treadmillasaurus Rex nation of weapons and choose between them portant, and there are plenty of discoverable less, whether you are a fan of the series or a jmtb02.com/treadmillasaurus-rex which gave a varied armoury. Disappoint- caves and buildings. However, sometimes the newcomer, Fable III is thoroughly enjoy- ingly, Fable III gives a much smaller choice treasure inside is not proportional to the effort. able and I highly recommend you get it! Polynomial proves maths isn’t fun

Laurence Pope fi ddle about with them you realise that a lot of pose this wouldn’t matter so much if the game the controls simply modify the brightness and was fun, but unfortunately Polynomial doesn’t The Polynomial - Space Of The Music, far from sound. I recommend adding your own music have much else going for it. being just a mathematical expression, is a 3D when you fi rst load up the game; not because After half an hour you feel like you’re play- music action game in which you pilot a space the stock tunes are bad, but I play music games ing in an elaborate screensaver and repetitive- ship through a brightly coloured universe that to have fun and it’s much easier to do that when ness starts to kick in. You fl y about, shoot stuff, Dinosaurs. Lasers. Partying. Three things that are pulsates along to currently playing song. you’re listening to music you enjoy. and listen to your music. The graphics are very undeniably awesome, so if you were to mix these The premise is simple: you select a certain The instructions make Polynomial seem pretty, and it does have a certain beauty to it, things together you might think that the product music track, and the game will use it to gener- more complicated than it really is. The fi rst but it’s just not fun. There is an editing mode would be a game of epic proportions. And you’d be ate an environment that corresponds to the tune. level has a huge fl oating set of instructions that which I toyed about with for a bit, but unless right. The titular treadmill will push T-Rex back and For example, in another popular music game tell you what everything does: orange monsters tweaking about with a load of fi gures and see- forth between the lasers and spiked balls force him called Audiosurf, where you pilot a ship along damage you, blue... things heal you and green ing what they do appeals to you, I doubt it’ll to jump, causing the wheel to spin. Where it lands a racecourse, a fast, upbeat track will have a circles offer power-ups. That’s all you really keep you hooked. is (presumeably) random, and with certain spaces lot of slopes and steep gradients, whilst a slow, need to know. Point, shoot, fl y about, simple as. If you’re looking to try out a similar game, activing laser light shows, confetti showers and top calming piece will have you leisurely making For a game that supposedly tailors itself to my advice would be to pick Audiosurf. It’s hats, things get very epic very quickly. Whether the your way uphill. As a big fan of Audiosurf, I fi t your music, I was hard-pressed to see how nearly two and a half years old, but I still play wheel ever lands on ‘Win The Game’ is debatable, so was expecting Polynomial to deliver as well. things changed when music tracks switched. I it and have fun. Polynomial feels less like a if that happens to you then let us know! My fi rst words when I loaded up were ‘bloody tried a switch from a hard, upbeat Pendulum game and more of an elaborate tech demo. A hell’. The menu options at fi rst appear quite track to a much calmer Rachmaninoff piece, pretty one maybe, but a tech demo nonetheless. complex for such a simple game, but when you and I didn’t see any changes to the game. I sup- It could have been so much more. FELIX Friday 5 NOVEMber 2010 29 TRAVEL An unforgettable hitchhiking debut Karolina Mazan recalls her treasured memories of aimlessly hopping from car to car across mainland Europe, armed with nothing but a tiny backpack and a loyal sidekick to keep her thoroughly entertained

’ve always put travelling as my passion under the interests sec- tion of my CV. Name any Euro- pean country and all I can think is ‘been there, done that’. But what haveI I really seen in all of those plac- es? Fancy hotels with pleasantly warm swimming pools, crowded promenades holding gazillions of restaurants you’ve already seen in London, every minute of your excursions ‘kindly’ organised by a travel agency. It all merges into one commercial vacation experience – ev- erything looks and feels the same. I’ve been a volunteer freak since be- fore I can remember, and “helping out anyone, anywhere” is my motto (and is probably the reason I’m studying Medicine). With this attitude in mind I was lucky enough to stumble upon the charity Link Community Development. When they sold me the idea of hitchhik- ing across Europe in addition to some worthwhile fundraising I was instantly bought. Hitchhiking? I immediately pictured the 70’s: fl ower power, free love and crazy decisions usually made whilst ‘under the infl uence’. I was sure that no one did this anymore – I couldn’t have been more wrong. With LCD alone there have been almost seven thousand students who have thumbed their way across Europe in the past 20 years! That convinced me (and my parents) that if Calais has never been blessed with such a cheery face other people had done it, I could too. And with my frustration for package family holidays growing, hitchhiking better than this”, I thought! The only The generosity of strangers we met on and we made it into Germany. seemed like the perfect alternative. Un- fl aw in this dream of mine was that the the road was quite astonishing: people I’d hoped that those German classes at predictable and adrenaline-fi lled: ex- happiness lasted less than 40 miles, and driving extra miles just to drop us off school would have paid off that I’d be actly what you need when you’ve just before we knew it we were on the hunt closer to our destination stopped sur- able to lure drivers with ease, but unfor- hit your 20’s! for another lift. prising me rather quickly. But when a tunately it wasn’t my time to shine. As The two proposed destinations were We quickly realised that hitching from guy drove us all the way to Dover, over the fi rst car pulled over I eagerly jumped Morocco and Prague: naturally I chose petrol stations was the way forward. You 16 miles away from his original des- to the driver’s window, only to be con- Prague, which is closer to my Polish don’t feel as lonely as when you stand on tination, I have to say that I was truly fronted with Czech rather than German. heart. Packing my bag proved to be the side of some dodgy road, and there moved. There is hope that helpfulness Janek, who turned out to be our saviour, the fi rst major challenge: I’m used to are always snacks and drinks available and selfl essness are not extinct virtues in was a loving boyfriend going to visit the luxury of applying tons of lotions, in the event of a munching crisis. Pet- today’s world. his girlfriend in – yes, you guessed it conditioners and other miraculous goo rol stations are also the best place to talk Less than two hours on a ferry and we – Prague. A few cute smiles and my se- to every inch of my body, not to men- to and meet more new people than you were in Calais - on the continent at last! ductive gaze, and we were in our fi nal tion compulsory outfi t changes at least I’m sure the drivers got the gist could have managed during your fresh- The real adventure began here, what lift to the Promised Land. To the accom- twice a day. How to fi t all of these es- ers’ week. We were approached by a with different countries and customs, paniment of Czech Christian rock and sentials into one tiny rucksack... Afterfteerr lovely couple who spotted our Prague and many drivers who couldn’t speak plentiful snacks from Janek, we arrived much blood, sweat and tears I managedggeded hoodies and a few minutes of chit chat any English. If I had any affi nity for in Prague later that evening. to pack ‘lightly’ and was ready to go.oo.. I later we were in their car, exchanging foreign languages, this was the time for Four crazy days, seventeen lifts, and grabbed my hitch partner and there we “There is hope that phone numbers and arranging our meet them to shine. Sadly I don’t, so instead countless new friends – an amazing were, setting off from Bristol on w whathahatt helpfulness and up in Prague, where they arrived a few I just smiled, nodded, pointed, waved hitch experience with truly unforgetta- was advertised as the most epic journey days later. This rather unbelievable story and performed all kinds of weird moves ble memories. I’m preaching to you all of our lives. selfl essness are not ended up with an expensive dinner and with my hands trying to explain where and I hope that you listen: ditch cheap Our fi rst lift, a shiny Porsche, stopped countless litres of quality beer in Prague, we were headed. In the end, maps and fl ights, trains and hired cars – hitchhike! just few inches from our feet. Inside was extinct virtues in which we didn’t even have to pay for our fi nger pointing proved to be the most I can assure you that it’ll bring your a handsome young man in a tailored – how many friends do you have who effective method of communication. travelling experience to a much more suit. I was in heaven – “life can’t“ get today’s world” ”would do this for you? Many hours later and fi nger points later exciting level. 30 Friday 05 November 2010 felix

HANGMAN [email protected] Twatter Cameron_DA_Maneron!!! Diary of an Imperial Graduate

Dear Diary, “I thought that this was quite a Dear Diary, So Gor, hows ur play ‘Prime Win- I’ve just graduated with a 2:2 in Biol- I had just taken my suit to the dry clean- ister’ coming on? e ogy. Or Chemistry. It’s one of them I public location, but I guess it’s ers early in the morning and thought I SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 think. Job prospects in London are dire could get away with wearing my dress- and I didn’t think I’d be getting a pay some sort of double-bluff for ing gown. The dry cleaners is just across cheque through my door any day soon. the road and I’m on good terms with yeh good. Just writin the scene However, I met an extravagantly at- the police” the owner, Janet Hogg, so I knew she wher tony pisses on an Iraqi tired black gentleman today who called wouldn’t mind. Halfway across the road prisoner himself ‘J. Dawg Drying’ or ‘J. Dawg I bumped into an young, scrawny look- Dryin’. He seemed like the sort of guy ing fellow. I told him I was trying to get Cameron_DA_Maneron!!! who would drop a ‘g’. He told me he to ‘J.D. Hogg Drying’, but he thought had a ‘cash-in-hand opportunity’ for me that I was trying to introduce myself. Be- if I was prepared to ‘suck a few dicks’. fore I could correct him, he was crying He was apparently in ‘the pleasure in- his eyes out and wailing about having dustry’. I knew what he meant – he no job. I discovered that he was a fellow Err pretty sure that didn’t happen was a pimp. Whilst I was initially ap- Imperial graduate, so I thought I might SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 prehensive about sucking a few dicks, be able to help in out. I am the CEO of Shakin’ J. Stab-box gave me the num- ‘pleasure industries’, a mass distributor bers and I simply couldn’t turn the offer of massage oils and I know that phar- down. Three dicks and I’d paid my rent maceutical companies are desperate for for a month! Four dicks and I’ve paid biology students. Or chemistry students. It’s metaphorical my xbox live membership for a whole Doesn’t really matter, just so long as they year! 475 million dicks and I’ve bought know how to put things in a test tube and Barack_attack_l33thaxor google! After saying ‘dick’ so much, I describe the colour. I have a few con- became desensitised to the disturbing tacts that I know are looking to recruit image in my head of me sucking dicks. for a week’s paid trial, cash-in-hand. I There was this really funny one where told him that he might want to suck up I’m writin a play called ‘Da white this huge gold Buddha statue wanted to the interviewers. Well I said ‘suck a house goes Black house’ me to suck his huge gold dick. I’ve just few dicks’, but I assume he knew what SexyOsama69 read that on paper and it’s sort of lost the I meant – I mean, he IS an Imperial stu- original joke. He told me to meet a man dent. I told him that he could be making outside Boots on High Street Kensing- £200 a day and then he sort of just stood ton. I thought that this was quite a pub- there smiling weirdly. He started talking lic location, but I guess it’s some sort about a giant gold Buddha – fuck knows Racist of double-bluff for the police. I shook what was wrong with this guy. I gave him Shakin J’s hand, well the tiny bit of hand the details of a pharmacist I know at the Barack_attack_l33thaxor left visible underneath the profusion of Boots in South Kensington and then he gold rings, and said, ‘You just tell me said something about ‘double-bluffing the time, the place and I’ll go suck the the police’. I don’t think he knows what dick’. a double-bluff is, but the text I received Regards What did you expect to fi nd here? A witty caption? from the pharmacist is rather worrying. I’m black Dan A joke maybe? Fuck off and get back to the article! Dr. Jaye D. Ogg, MsCi, Phd SexyOsama69

couple. My parents were tragically killed dats a lame excuse HANGMAN on the Mexico-USA border, so Antoine and Camilla stepped in and adopted SUPERACEGORTHEROAR87 me. I assimilated the Italian-American DISCLAIMER lifestyle and learnt the names of every type of pasta (long pasta, short pasta and medium pasta), how to tell other pedes- FFS you can’t do a play as well trians that you’re walking and that every Obie. That’s my idea problem in the world can be blamed on the Welsh. However, I soon realised that SexyOsama69 After receiving an angry letter from an my acting guardians had quite a warped angry Mexican student, I feel dutifully opinion of the Welsh community and compelled to write a disclaimer. Kadhim that I should blame my problems on oth- Shubber cannot be held responsible for er ethnic minority groups as well. That’s My play is called ‘Taliban bath- anything printed in this section. He has called equality and I stand behind it! If room mishaps 2’. It’s a thriller no control over what goes on here, but he you don’t like what you read then feel likes to think he does. If Felix is the Re- free to send a complaint, but don’t take it public of Serbia, then Hangman is Ko- out on the rest of the newspaper and the DRUNKEN MATE OF THE WEEK sovo. If you read on past this disclaimer respectable editors. (Oh and by the way The content in this section then you are accepting that you are most angry Mexican, addressing a complaint Send your photos to likely going to be repulsed by what you letter with ‘Dear Sirs’ is a very sexist [email protected] (get permission) may offend, bore or arouse see. I cannot be held responsible for my presumption about the gender distribu- own opinions because I was raised by a tion of the Felix office. But then who am you... you dirty boy *wink delightful, but racist Italian-American I to complain?) felix Friday 05 November 2010 31

THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS Horoscopes Aries Taurus You narrowly avoid falling down an You’ve finally found your tutor’s office open man hole on your way to a 9a.m. having been searching for it since term lecture. A little shaken you arrive on started. You knock, no answer. You try time but the lecturer has replaced him- the handle, no luck, so you wait. It slow- self with a cardboard cutout. Grimly ly dawns on you that the door is painted determined to learn you stay for the full on the wall. Broken: you drop to your hour. knees and weep. Gemini Cancer You catch your reflection in the side of You’re sitting in Kensington Gardens a passing bus. That clown’s still behind eating lunch, enjoying one of the last you. Still giving you the eye off his sunny days of the year. A squirrel unicycle. You’re impressed but mostly scampers up, how sweet. You throw just afraid. As he follows you across the him an almond. He eats it and explodes. road you swear a solemn oath never to You forgot squirrels are allergic to circus heckle again. almonds. Minus 1,000,000 karma. Leo Virgo A stranger offers you sweets to get in You receive a flower in the mail. You’re his car, of course you accept. He drives puzzled, what could it mean? You find “North Koreans get to see their you to the beach and the two of you it a pot and a sunny corner. You return have a wonderful time playing frisbee from lectures to find it’s turned into a and skimming stones. Over lunch you person, who’s claiming it’s his room and suddenly realise he’s a grizzly bear, in- suggesting you should leave. You’re sure first living South Korean” censed you club him to death. he’s wrong but who are you to argue? Libra Scorpio You wake up, open the curtains and You wake up dazed. ‘Where the fuck are DRUNKEN MATE OF THE WEEK find you’re at the bottom of the ocean. my clothes?’ you think - ‘And my legs?’ - ‘What a startling turn of events’ you ‘and my elbows?’ - Slowly the memories think. Owing to your new location the return. There were no elbows or legs walk to college takes longer than usual to begin with. You’re a paperweight, and when you arrive you’re 100 years you’ve always been a paperweight. It’s in the future. shit being a paperweight. Sagittarius Capricorn Passing through a turnstile you slip and That satellite’s watching you again, become tangled in the mechanism. You tapping into your thoughts. Using your find yourself rotating constantly head newly-acquired knowledge of Mechan- over heels. It’s nauseating but you quickly ics you build a giant catapult and fling become used to it. Soon you start meeting yourself up at it. You pass it by and land people and before you know it, you find with a bump on the moon where you a nice girl, settle down and start a family. build a castle and live like a king. Aquarius Pisces You didn’t read the contract for your On your way back to halls you fall down house before you signed it. Now the an open man hole. You fall for hours as police and your landlord are banging at a menacing, fiery glow grows beneath the door. He’s wearing a coat of made you. The screams of the damned swell of ex-tenant’s skin and kidneys and now orchestrally and you land impaled on Oh anonymous 2nd year Maths girl, that isn’t where you put it! Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to use it he wants a matching hat. There’s no way Satan’s pitchfork. He torments you for properly? Wait don’t answer that, I’ll ask her myself when she fi nishes cleaning herself up in the bathroom... out. all eternity - but at least you’re not alone. 32 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX Puzzles Editors: Polly Bennett James Hook Aman Nahar PUZZLES [email protected] Last Week’s Solutions Wordoku Last Week’s Wordokus PICTOGRAM L O N G D E A T H

A G E H O T N D L K G W A Remember, remember, Slitherlink H T D N L A E G O the fi fth of November T H L O E G D N A 2 3 1 3 A E D A O L T N G H E 3 2 2 E N G D A H O L T 10 3 2 E W F G O D T E N L H A G 2 1 2 3 N L H A G O T E D 022 322 K G E G E A T H D L O N 2 322

2 2 1 2 2 F A S U R B I V E A Y L 2 233 E Y L R B A V U I 3 33 U G S V I A L Y U B E R Alledgedly a Gaelic tradition, carried out 3 2 1 3 L E V A I R U B Y Y S E U during the slaughter season in autumn R A U B L Y I E V G F I B Y E U V R L A Nonogram A L I V E B Y R U Y V E U R I L A B H E P O I K U S W O T B U R Y A L I V E I N G W E S L R M E L E R G I C S E O V I C S E O V I E D P R A G M A T I C G M A T I B O D E P H I O E A C H A F O A C H A F O More solutions from last week: A O D L S U R A B R A B P R U W E R T L O S L O S L O E C O N S T I T H E H E D Pictogram: Kelpie, Manes, Banshee, Werewolf, Eidolon, Halloween Best known for causing “time rain” E N S E A H A V O C E C H O C O E C H O L A M E N T S S L W T L W Decipher: HAPPY HALLOWEEN in ASCII code O A E L A K C A S T O R O I L T O R O I L N E M A U F T E F T E A T T H R O P O F A H A T A H A T Chess Maze: Bd4, Kh1, Re1, Rxe1, Qxe1 C O N S I I T H T H E D N S E A H A V H O C O E C H A M E N T S S L W T L E L A K C A S T O R O I L T O R O M A U F T E F O P O H A SLITHERLINK Crosswords 222 1 3 Used in the 1800’s to perform “SATI”

Quick M I S S I N G T H E P O I N T 3 2 E E N O A O T E 2 3 N E T R W I S H I N G W E L L S T A S L R M E A L L E R G I C S E O V I C S E E D P R A G M A T I C 1 1 22 B O D E P H I O E A C H A F O A O D L A S U R A B P R U W E R I P S T L O S L O E 32 C O N S I G N T I T H E D 2 3 2 E N S E A H A V O C O E C H O L A M E N T S S T L W A heavy paper casing to enclose the explosive O A E L A K C A S T O R O I L N E M A U F T E 2 31 2 2 2 compound A T T H E D R O P O F A H A T

Cryptic P A D D I N G T O N L B E A R A R N R V I R U 132 3 S M A R T M O N E Y M D A R T T B E P R P D H D I T A R M E D S E R V I C E E U S P L O C R 212 2 X E N O P H I L E I C H A F F P B E M P T B O E U L E R O P O T B O I L E R R U S U O L E D 231 2 12 3 I N S T A L L A T I O N B Y A E H L S H G M A N A I L T K I N E T I C A R T C N R V F S G O E R G S O L E F T A T R I U M 31132 2 A known cosequence of pyromania Going Underground 3 3 3 2 2 2 K E N S A L G R E E N The letters spell.....

11 5 14 19 1 12 7 18 5 5 14 The number in each box represents the number of lines that can exist around it. Lines can never cross! In the end, you will end up with a closed loop. FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 33 PUZZLES Crossword Across Going Underground 1. Act of striking (a ball) (6) 4. Decapitated (8) Apologies for basically giving you the the total shown. All you have to do is Theme: Fireworks 9. Subculture/religious movement (9) answer last week! Each letter in the send the Underground station that 11. Piece of unverifi ed information (5) alphabet is assigned a value, 1-26 is hidden each week to: 12. House of rest (3) (see table) and when added together [email protected] Hey guys. Once again, this is no a representation of something that for a specifi c word the sum equals normal crossword, as you may have is most commonly seen on the 5th 13. Commercial soundbites (7) guessed by the strange red squares. November. 14. State of matter (3) A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z 15. Soil (5) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Three clue answers (all past Pay attention to the lengths of the 17. Possess (3) participles), when combined, should clues: some red squares will be 19. Jason’s ship used to hunt the fl eece (4) B A N K conjure up three names in your able to be fi lled in just by solving the = 28 2+1+14+11=28. Job done. head. They all have something in clues; others will not, so you’ll need 21. Cook by boiling slowly (4) 2 1 14 11 common. Using these names, the to understand what’s going on in 23. Total (3) red squares can be fi lled in to reveal order to fully solve this weird thing. 24. Information exchange standard So which London tube station sums to ? (5) 26. Period before (3) 1 2 3 4 4 5 6 7 8 ______27. Vibrating membrane (7) = 116 29. Brace (3) 30. One who benefi ts without giving in return (5) 9 10 1011 31. Odd; spinning off-centre (9) 32. Tall building (4-4) Nonograms - 33. Agreement (6) How to play: Nonogram 1211 13 12 1514 Down 1 Nonograms are logic 1 2 3 1 6 puzzles in which cells 1. Continued through hardship (8) 3 3 4 2 13 42 77 in a grid have to be co- 151316 161417 1718 191518 161920 2. Plant excretion (5) loured or left blank ac- 6 3. Social gathering over coffee (7) cording to numbers at 2021 5. Girl; plant (5) 2 3 the side of the grid. 6. Super-continent (7) The numbers measure 212217 21 2322 182423 19 2425 1 1 3 7. Appealing to popular prejudices (9) how many unbroken 25 8. Compulsory force (6) 4 lines or fi lled-in squares 10. Lustful (7) there are in any given 3 2620 2721 28 22 2329 16. Hydrogen Sulphide (fam.) (6,3) row or column. Look at 18. Pertaining to maths (7) 3 the solution for help. 20. Terminated union (8) 1 3 23. If (7) 2430 2531 24. Annual publication (7) 3 2 25. State of physical well-being (6) 28. Grasses (5) 4 3 puzzles.felix@imperial. 2632 33 29. Midriff (5) 5 3 ac.uk

FUCWIT League Leader Board TTeams:eams:

I “Am” Squidhead 30 Killuminati 28 Big Gay Al 21

IIndividuals:ndividuals: Shadi Sharbain 30 James Ko 17 Gene-leigh Tang 6

The Felix University/College-Wide Invi- tational Tournament League is new and improved! 2 points for the first correct puzzles re- ceived. 1 point after that. Double points for cryptic crosswords. [email protected] 34 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX CLUBS & SOCIETIES RAG Week

This year, RAG is seeking to make ICU RAG bigger and better than ever before and is launching RAG Week during the fi rst term for the fi rst time ever. Come and join us for any of the events below and tell us your fundraising ideas - we just might be able to realise them this year! Have a pint with us in the Union Bar on Monday, come to the Ball @ Carbon on Tuesday, buy a Union Offi cer at the Slave Auction on Wednesday, have lunch made by Cooking Soc or see a movie with FilmSoc on Thursday, join in on the biggest ACC Pubcrawl ever on Friday or join us in the Union on Saturday to fi nd out which of our volunteers we've driven off to an unknown location made it back to the Union successfully! Also, RAG and Foodcylce will be doing a week-long sale of raffl e tickets and the winner will get an iPod Touch during the Foodcycle presentation next Friday (watch out for posters on the Walkway)! £2 for a ticket!

Win £100 prize for craziest photo Send your best and crazies RAG Week photos to rag- Weresheep don’t [email protected] to be in with a chance to win a £100 clothing voucher. The deadline for entry is Sunday the 14th of November and the photos must be of RAG Week activities. The winner will be chosen by the College’s Creative Director. drink Hongthong Events Fellwanderers climb the great peaks of Wales, with only Monday, November 8th at 7pm: RAG meets other Unis at our Union Bar. 2 pints the warming power of Hongthong to sustain them £3.50! Sam Gonshaw So we set out in two groups; the mighty With fi re blazing, shisha smoking and whisky Tuesday, November 9th at 9pm: ducks strong and true and the squashed banan- drowned cake we were dropping like fl ies; RCSU and CGCU RAG Ball at Carbon, Marble Arch While the slopes of North Wales basked in the as (named so by the mighty ducks) also ready Matt already having left us after his three pints Tickets are £5, VIP £10) more info on the club: glowing rays of an unseasonably pleasant Oc- for the ascent. And a nice easy ascent it was at the pub. Creating our own Hong Thong from http://www.carbonbar.co.uk/ tober, 24 intrepid Fellwanderers were already too. Snowdon stands tall, yet we walked it in Bells, curry and other ingredients I don’t want gathered at Beit, failing to load their masses of a mere couple of hours, arriving at a suddenly to know about fi nished us off for the night. Wednesday November 10th 8pm: CGCU Slave Auc- kit onto the roof of the minibus. Stories from very cloudy summit after hours of sunshine. By the next morning we still hadn’t decided tion at the Union Bar with Smoothies sold by Food- the veterans, of tarpaulins freeing themselves The second group arrived in blinding sunshine on what to hike that day. Not until we were half cycle from the bus somewhere on the M1 and bags and could see from the sea to inland plains. Ba- way up a cliff face and found out we couldn’t almost being lost, didn’t do much to hearten us nanas have all the luck! turn back did we decide that that was our walk Thursday, November 11th, 12-2pm: freshers, adding to the already present thoughts After a fi rst lunch on the slopes accompanied for the day. So bags fi lled with Value crisps and Cooking Soc Cooking Sale + Movie night by FilmSoc of why on earth did we agree to follow these by a lovely cup of coffee, brewed at three and leftover curry sandwiches we stopped being (movie tba) people just because they gave us free pizza? a half thousand feet by yours truly, we stopped Fellwanderers and became mountaineers. The But nonetheless we set out to the soothing for a quick snap on chancing on the other idea of a Sunday walk of course being a nice Friday, November 12th: chords of drum n’ bass to conquer the great group, and continued a leisurely stroll back gentle walk to cool off the weekend became a ACC Pubcrawl peaks of Snowdonia. Snowdon itself, at 1085 down the mountain; stopping frequently for crawl on all fours to the peak of Tryfan at 918 metres, loomed over us upon awakening at the more lunches. When the crisps are absolutely metres. Tensions rose. Rafal became steadily Saturday, November 13th: hut the next morning. The thought of all the tasteless you need to eat more of them to feel more annoyed, and he passed through all of LOST excitement to come drew me from my bed at accomplished. his possible facial expressions within seconds. 7.30 and I was presented with a bottle of gin as The incredibly speedy and absolutely prob- Finally reaching the peak we stopped off for a a grand prize for being the most eager fresher. lem free trip left us with a concern level of quick lunch and then the mighty ducks raced That wonderful breakfast couldn’t dampen my merely 1, and hours to kill in the pub. Joe ar- the descending ominous clouds to the base, spirits for the day. rived back from Snowdon with a tablet of stone loosing James Allen on the way who insisted With the sun shining bright we packed our and soon the commandments rained down on following his map. A 2 hour climb was fol- lunches and prepared – but there was a cloud upon us. Our copious drinking was undertaken lowed by a very brief 15 minute descent. EVENTS in the sky. A plot to poison the trip was afoot! on pain of punishment from THE TABLET. And so, our weekend came to a close, just James Allen had bought poison for our lunch I Returning to the hut for Jim and Peter’s veg- stopping off on the return for a carvery and an Charity Week London tell you! We were forced to fi ll our bags with etarian curry (with added chicken) we found Ultimate Burger, in a lovely cosy candlelit pub. ‘Smoky not Smudgy’ packets of Tesco Value crisps. We almost re- half our number had been massacred by vi- It was quite a break from the regular sciencing A Ladies Only Pampering and Beauty belled at the horror of the situation – but we put cious weresheep (baaa-arrrrooo!). Even Fran’s of Imperial College, and the hills of Wales do Event our differences aside and kitted out. And a right magical Bells potion and the warming power of well to clear the head of the troubles of Lon- 6th November. 11am-4pm bunch we were all dressed for our hike. Train- Hong Thong - Willy Wonka’s own speciality – don. Yes, we conquered Wales, we conquered SAF ers were in show, boots lacking, and Simon had couldn’t save us. Only Natasha and Wan Ting weresheep, mountains and bottles of ancient even turned up in a suit; though boots and gai- were left standing. Maybe their love of micro- Grolsch. And who knows where our adventures ters for him fi nished off the snappy look. waves helped save them from the weresheep. shall take us next? FELIX Friday 05 November 2010 35 CLUBS & SOCIETIES Imperial Sinfonietta on Does God exist? Philosophy Society tackle the the rampage in Porto world’s toughest question Corrie Berry Isa Cassius Morrison ‘noticed’ from the creation. By using ra- Rolling towards the beginning of No- tional arguments and dismissing weaker vember, with the weather turning cold A question that has thwarted man since arguments such as emotions, faith and and grey, and Bonfi re Night approach- the beginning of human history was belief (one of the few issues which were ing, our minds turn back to the last brought to a heated and intensely in- argued by both sides for the whole eve- fi reworks display that was witnessed tellectual debate on Tuesday evening. ning), proof was presented for a creator by members of Imperial College Sinfo- The Philosophy Society’s “Does God of the Universe. nietta. Exist?” debate challenged some of the One would have expected Gabriel The annual tour took place in the last most able polemicists in the university to be more than ready to rip apart and week and a half of September. Being the world. Prof. Peter Atkins, a renowned undermine the opposition’s arguments. tenth in a long line of epic voyages to Oxford Professor and outspoken atheist Surprisingly he failed to do so. More foreign climes, it turned into a bit of a re- and Alex Gabriel, the President of the often than not, he was stumbling for union, with many of the older members Oxford Atheist Society, would be argu- words, evading the arguments and side- of the orchestra who have long since ing that God didn’t exist, while Hassan tracking the concept of the proof. Had graduated returning for another taster of Choudhury (author of “God’s ID”) and the theists succeeded in presenting an Sinfonietta Rampaging. It started unre- Dr Muhammad Umar (freelance con- argument that had no fl aws? Well, Ga- markably; beer and a fry-up in the de- sultant and medic) would demonstrate briel never disproved it. Dr Umar’s parture lounge at Gatwick was followed proof for God’s existence. presentation was one of the most en- by a quick fl ight to Porto, a ride on the With Prof. Atkins beginning the de- joyable of the evening; he engaged the Metro and setting up camp in a hostel. bate, the atheists proceeded fi rst. The audience and speakers alike, holding ev- But the fun soon began. The fi rst tour room fell silent, as all present were either eryone’s attention throughout. The issue dinner is a bit of a blur for this writer; ready to support or rebut his arguments. of the beginning of the Universe began with the local beer, Super Bock, at just From the beginning Prof. Atkins made it to dominate the discussion, along with one Euro a bottle, the week had begun in clear that it was not his job to disprove the concept of infi nity. He proved how the manner in which it was to continue. the existence of God, but instead the job there could not be an infi nite number Each day in the city started with those of the theists was to prove that God ex- of causes to start the Universe, known who woke up early enough fi nding a ists; an interesting approach, but a weak as the infi nite regression argument, nor quick breakfast in one of the many ca- stance to be taken by a world-renowned how a spontaneous mechanical event fés, followed by a walk across town to professor such as Atkins. Many present could have occurred. He synthesised his the Conservatoire, a school of music for were expecting him to deliver an all-en- argument, fi rmly based in the realms of 6 to 18 year olds that opened last year. compassing argument to disprove God’s rationale, that the cause had to be exter- Here, we rehearsed for three hours, with existence. Instead, he wandered along nal to the Universe, space and time in a gap in the middle for a picnic lunch the lines of lack of available evidence, order to create them, demonstrating the and 1.5 litres of water… The venue was citing the desire of humans to create a necessity for a creator. Now, it was up to brand new, and we the fi rst orchestra deity and the belief that all people will the atheists to disprove this during the they hosted. Problems aside (no house- get what they deserve in the afterlife. Q&A session. lights and air conditioning blasting up Admittedly there’s not much rampaging going on in this photo. Unless The atheists were off to a shaky start, No atheist in attendance addressed from the fl oor and chilling everyone), it you include the conductor’s trousers... What was he thinking? but surely things could only get better Dr Umar’s argument; instead, they housed us well, and allowed for a pro- for them? evaded the issue like ninjas, which, in ductive session every day. Next, Choudhury was setting the stage all fairness to them, they did very well. Afternoons were spent exploring little sins, resulting in a ‘tour word’ of “bul- week. The van was sent off on Wednes- for his colleague, Dr Umar, to deliver The atmosphere was intense, the audi- alleys winding over steep hills, climbing bous!”, a few epic kills (not to mention day morning to the high praise of “My the proof for the existence of God. Us- ence electric as questions, answers and church towers and generally being tour- members of the committee abusing their second best tour…after Croatia”, from ing what the atheists typically call upon, rebuttal were thrown back and forth, isty. Porto being the home of port, we power to get their targets) and more than the Sinfonietta Matriarch, who organ- science, to disprove God, he used it evolving into a philosophical discus- went on a port factory tour after a trek one person complaining ‘I thought you ised Croatia and hence her opinion on against them demonstrating its limita- sion where many aspects of human na- over the mountains of the town (don’t wanted to talk to me, but you just want- that one is discredited. The rampaging tions; this included that science can ture, science and the fundamentals of always trust someone with a guide-book ed to kill me!’. Clothes-pegs also made didn’t end on the plane (the Captain did only prove what it can test and observe, mathematics were discussed. The con- just because they have the book…), an appearance, leading to ‘peg-checks’; get pegged as he left the plane in Lon- nothing more and nothing less. Science cept of infi nity not working in reality which was followed by a quick recov- and more than one unsuspecting mem- don) and we gradually parted ways with cannot prove what is immeasurable and really seemed to bewilder the atheists ery, helped along by tasters! ber of the public walking off with fl uo- much regret, many memories and much beyond the limits of science. Further- more than anything, requiring numer- As the sun set, the bars on the water- rescent bits of plastic clipped to them. stronger friendships. more, adding weight to their argument ous explanations and examples to show front found themselves host to groups Monday night found us performing And the fi reworks? Porto celebrated is that ‘creation requires a creator’, and why it cannot work in practice whilst of musicians, with merriment and con- to an audience that was certainly larger the presence of Sinfonietta by giving how a painting (or a pizza) could not be its existence is plausible in mathemat- sumption often accompanied by games, than the predicted two, a result of hand- an impromptu display while we were tested for a creator if the creator was not ics. The atheists’ arguments (well, photographs, and once, a song about ing out 1000 fl yers to the people walk- sitting at the waterfront one evening. It more like statements) were dissolving the man in charge in which we were ing about the town earlier in the after- wasn’t actually for us, but the sight of a rapidly as the speakers’ points became joined by wandering gypsies with their noon. It went well; all the hard work whole orchestra jumping up from a bar, weaker and less viable. accompaniment; a dog. A good deal of paid off, and the comments received in- still clutching tankards full of beer, and “The atmosphere was By the end of the evening, everyone table-swapping followed as we found dicated that the audience loved it. These running to the river to ooh and ahh, is was discussing the “Existence of God”, each other, much to the bemusement included phrases such as “a dream come one of the highlights of the trip; for the intense, the audience and this continued long into the night of the locals; “inside voices” and “pipe true” and “splendid”. Good job! author of this article, anyway. electric as questions, (even after all the free food was gone). down” did nothing to encourage us to The tour ended with a visit to the Congratulations to the team who or- The big question that remains: what is decrease the decibels as we found ‘long- beach, dinner at a restaurant which ganised it, many thanks to our wonder- answers and rebuttal the consequence of believing in God? lost’ friends from the bar before the last served giant dishes of fi sh-pie and ful conductor (DC al fi ne!), and well Surely the next event will be of a simi- one… roast pork, and a visit to a shisha bar in done members of the orchestra; we were thrown back lar magnitude where everyone, includ- Members of the orchestra were en- which tour prizes were given for vari- made it back in one piece and look for- ing you, could take part. So watch this couraged to engage in a game of assas- ous misdeeds committed throughout the ward to next year! and forth” space! 36 Friday 05 November 2010 FELIX CLUBS & SOCIETIES Notices Scuba trip to Penzance Law Society Who doesn’t love diving on a freezing cold morning? A six-fi gure salary? Only with a career in fi nance, right? - WRONG! Did you know a starting salary for a lawyer is £60,000? Law has the same challenges as Sam Gonshaw a career in fi nance with identical application process- es. The attractive thing about law is the diversity in Having loaded up the minibus with enough the career path you could take. The most popular be- gear for the week, fi ve of us set off nice and ing commercial law, which deals with a lot of the big- early from the union on Saturday 24th for the gest banks and corporations in the world. Law fi rms long journey down to Penzance. Deciding that actually value students from a non-law background motorways were boring we took the A303/A30, as we have that extra knowledge, which we can in- whereby we had to resist the urge of stopping tegrate into law. The intake of non-law students into to buy strawberries from the stalls cunningly most prestigious fi rms can be as high as 50%! positioned every 50m along the road. After a Even though Imperial does not have a law faculty, quick stop for lunch we knew we were getting there is a law society. Law society has been around close when Pirate FM appeared on the radio, for fi ve years now and whilst in previous years mem- and we were soon greeted at the campsite by bership has been low, this current year we have what seemed like a completely sane campsite seen the biggest increase in membership. We aim owner (a what??!) before speedily heading off to provide the best possible information for anyone to the shops to buy some food. By the time we considering a career in law after his or her science got back Icy (our RIB) had arrived and our tent degree. We have invited many of the ‘Magic Circle’ village for the week was taking shape. Sadly it law fi rms to come and guide us through the process turned out that the boats steering was broken by providing advice and tips. and we would need to get some new bolts. Next Tuesday, 9th November, Hogan Lovells will With no boat to use, Sunday saw us heading be joining us for a panel event based on Intellec- to Lamorna Cove to do a couple of shore dives. tual Property (IP). A partner, associate and a trainee Those people who didn’t listen to Olle’s ad- from the IP department will be there to explain the vice and headed around the harbour wall found different stages in the career progression and to an- some interesting things, while those of us who swer any questions you may have. To register for did found sand. And rocks. With the day’s div- this event or for further information please contact ing over we headed off to fi nd some screws to [email protected] fi x Icy. With Icy now fi xed Monday was going It’s defi nitely not at all sunny. I’d look less silly wearing sunglasses in the Felix Offi ce to be much more interesting. Launching from Hayle, Ben gently lowered the boat down the incredibly steep slip and armed with 4 different up wreck of the Ansgir. On Tuesday evening to explore the wreck where we found the rud- e.quinox coordinates for the St Chamond we headed out while venturing in to collect our fi lled tanks for der and prop still intact and 2 massive boilers eager to see what awaited us. Turns out it was the next day, the crazy man showed us his com- with lots of pipes running all over the place. Electricity is the basis of development, and we strive 4m swell. Having gone through all that we had pressor room. He had about 5/6 compressors With the departure of Danielle, Tom and John to provide rural Rwanda with access to electricity however, we were not going to let that put us linked by a network of pipes that would look on Friday there were only 7 of us in the boat on through our Energy Kiosks. We aim to develop a fi - off and so in went the shot and down went the fi tting on a submarine, and they were powered Saturday and so we loaded up 2 cylinders each, nancially sustianable system that can be replicated divers. Sadly we picked the wrong coordinates by a generator from an old telephone exchange packed our lunch and headed off on the 15 mile on any scale, even in the remotest of communities. and only Olle’s group found the trains. Having that could rival Battersea power station! journey to Wolfrock. This was a fantastic dive The high level of innovation involved, the concept made most people chuck their breakfast over On Thursday we decided that due to the nice with a very steep wall covered in jewel-anem- of sustainability and the enormous effort put in the side of the boat, we decided not to pursue a weather we would attempt to go for the Run- ones and teeming with all sorts of life. After by the teams has earned e.quinox the JP Morgan second dive as it was already 3pm. nelstone. After a long journey we decided to heading back to a nearby cove for some lunch Good Venture Award 2010, the Professor John Le- Tuesday saw our fi rst trip out from Penzance, ignore the 3-4m swell and dropped down to be we set out once again to go to Longships where ver Award and the top prize in the highly prestigious although we didn’t see much due to a thick greeted by huge boulders completely covered Olle and Richard swam around trying to fi nd IEEE Change the World President’s Award 2010 - are layer of fog. The original plan was to dive the in jewel-anemones. some seals. All in all, a great week. the only student team in the fi nals for the BBC World Hellopes, but it was too deep for the inexperi- We decided to go for the Hellopes again on Challenge 2010, competing for a prize of $20, 000. enced sporties onboard. For the rest of us it was Friday. With Simon’s twinset broken, he and I There are still be places on our training Vote for us at e.quinox.org/vote onto the Lowlee Ledges / Primrose which had decided to make the most of our dive and made courses for this year, email [email protected]. a nice nature trail rope to follow, and then onto our way down to 35m in 2 minutes by climbing uk if you are interested. For more info visit what we later discovered was the very broken down the shot line! This gave us plenty of time www.union.ic.ac.uk/icuc “ felix FRIDAY 5 NOVEMBER 2010 37 SPORT

The last event of the fi rst day was a fun letta with the competition fencers and their team sabre event where all of the fencers were spouses. Tuesday was spent at St. Paul’s Fenc- Fencers return from mixed up to let fencers from different coun- ing Club for some training with the Maltese tries and at different skill levels to interact in and some of the other international fencers. a less competitive setting. Even fencers who They spent some time exploring Mdina, a rarely use a sabre picked one up for a bit of fortifi ed town in the hills, a relic and monu- Malta with most of fun. ment to the military history of Malta as a naval The next day began the women’s events, staging point for several wars. On Friday they though rather than being the offi cial Malta took a couple of speedboats out to do some open, the two women fencers from Imperial snorkelling and have a look at the nearby is- their gold were competing in the St. Paul’s Fencing Club lands of Gozo and Comino. Challenge, a new event run by the same fenc- The second weekend started with the men’s ing club which holds the open. individual epee event. After a round of poules Jack Patten Chris Gilliam, who ended coming in third. As the men were relegated to the sidelines, Chris had opened into a good position, while Guillaume faced Maltese fencer Pierre Bian- the women started on foil, which neither had Jack’s inexperience in epee had left him in The Imperial College Fencing Club summer chi, but was fi nally defeated, earning a silver a particular love of. Despite this, both moved a mediocre position, and led to him being tour saw them invade Malta, escaping from medal and the respect of the opposition. through the initial stages of the competition knocked out in the fi rst round of direct elimi- their exams, and starting the week with a bit The men’s sabre event saw the same group with little trouble, adapting to the more unusu- nation. Chris managed to make it through to of night swimming at the villa they had rented going into the fastest of the three weapons. al styles of fencing on display. Unfortunately, the quarterfi nals, defeated by British fencer in Mellieha for the competition. Again Jack was knocked out in his fi rst di- as with the men, they ended meeting in the Eddie Crofton, who was only defeated in the The next morning saw the men’s foil en- rect elimination fi ght, but this time Chris and semifi nals, with Beth slowly out fencing Em- fi nal by Pierre. trants, still a bit bleary eyed, fi nd a cab and Guillaume almost effortlessly moved on to ily Bottle, to move on to the fi nals. In the fi nal Then it was time to start the open for the get to the morning’s fencing. Jack Patten of the fi nals against each other. After a back and Beth met her match in German fencer Barbara women’s events. The fi rst weapon was epee, Imperial, thrown by the very different styles forth fi ght Guillaume managed to shut down Schormair, letting her bring home the silver and once again Emily found herself quickly of fencing shown by some of the continental the wrist hits that Chris had used to get to the medal, and Emily the bronze. leading the pack. She even defeated her moth- fencers, was knocked out in the quarter fi nals, fi nals, earning him the gold that had been de- The epee event, being Beth’s least favorite er in the semi-fi nals, to face off against fellow leaving only two remaining, who unfortunate- nied him earlier in the day, with Chris’ silver weapon, saw her knocked out in the quarter- Imperial competitor Joan Chang in the fi nals. ly met each other in the semi fi nal. Guillau- bringing the medal count to four after only fi nals. Emily destroyed any competition she Joan’s style gave Emily pause in the fi rst set, me Joubert managed to pull the victory from two events. was up against, however, as this is her primary but was fi nally broken in the next set, winning weapon. The fi nals saw her comprehensively Emily the gold, and Joan the silver. defeat German epeeist Vanessa Klaas. The afternoon saw the team foil event. This The team event of the day was epee. Even had lots of entrants as most fencers start by Jack and Guillaume picked them up – despite learning foil and despite everyone trying hard neither of them fi nding them the most interest- to beat everyone else, the atmosphere was jo- ing weapon, and Jack having never used one vial. The competitors had become close over before at all! the week. During the week the fencers took some time The last day of the competition opened with to explore the country, whilst more fencers ar- women’s foil. Our fencers put on an impres- rived for the rest of the week, and to do the sive display, with four of the top fi ve fencers second weekend competition. On Monday being from Imperial, Hannah Bryars beating they headed out to try diving, which Chris and out Emily in the semi-fi nals and Alice Mitch- Beth decided to spend some more time on. ell in the fi nal, for a nice gold, silver, bronze They also enjoyed a meal in the capital Val- run, with Beth being just outside the medal zone in fi fth. The last individual event was women’s sabre, “Our fencers put in an impressive where Imperial did even better, the top fi ve be- ing entirely Imperial. Alice took fi fth and Joan display, with four of the top fi ve and Helen Pennington became bronze medal- lists. After some back and forth in the fi nal fencers being from Imperial, who Beth took silver and Hannah earned the gold. Another team sabre event was the last event came away with a gold, silver and of the day, and the competition, this time with mixed gender teams. A chance to say goodbye Our proud fencers posing with their impressive medal haul a bronze” with some light hearted stabbing. ICBC hit GB trials and BUCS Small Boats Head

...Continued from back page weight trials. Further lightweight success contin- tors orders etc, the lightweight men’s double had to into fourth place (18:51.8). Imperial B (Matt Whal- see Alumni George Whittaker had won GB heavy- ued for Sam Scrimgeour (18:44.2 – 12th Lwt GB be withdrawn and it was down to four strokesiders ey/Pearson) put in another storming performance weight trials overall. Simon Steele brought home trialist), Josh Butler (18:44.5 – 13th Lwt GB trial- to race the pairs. overtaking “three and a half crews” over the 5km IC’s quickest single time of the day (19:31.3 – 15th ist), Alex Gillies (18:55.9 – 17th Lwt GB trialist) On top of this, chaos nearly ensued when the course and beat Imperial A by fi ve seconds to bring in BUCS). Further solid performances came from and Tom Pearson (19:37.1 – 35th Lwt GB trialist, pleasure cruiser, the “Boston Belle”, decided the home the Bronze medal (18:46.9). The women’s Dom Meyrick-Cole (19:45.0 – 51st GB trialist), 7th BUCS). Chloe Symmonds also put in a strong start of the third and fi nal division would be the pair of Symmonds and Duffy also brought home Leo Carrington (19:50.0 – 21st in BUCS) and Ben performance in the women’s lightweight single perfect time to head down the centre of the river, the bacon coming in second (21:12.9) behind a very Spencer-Jones (20:07.7 – 72nd GB trialist, 33rd in (21:52.2 – 12th Lwt GB trialist, 9th BUCS). heading directly towards the fi fty boats coming in strong Durham crew. BUCS). Leonora Kennedy and Zoë Lee continued IC also fi elded a further fi ve boats with the aim of the opposite direction. Fortunately, disaster was All in all, the weekend was a success and, in time to go from strength to strength as they both were gaining BUCS points and medals. In the doubles, averted and the Belle pulled into the side. In the honoured tradition, McDonalds was eaten on the in the top ten overall with times for the women’s Ben Spencer-Jones and Alistair Hudson came 6th in Men’s Championship Pairs, Imperial A (Steele/ way home with delight, even by the conscientious single of 20:58.3 (8th overall) and 21:09.8 (10th a time of 17:55.9, while the W2x of Christina Duffy Carrington), having already successfully overtaken lightweights. With Fours Head of the River less overall) respectively. and Selina Graham came 4th in a time of 20:30.0. Durham B, were heard from the bank employing a than two weeks away, ICBC has little time to refl ect Jamie Kirkwood continues to have a golden glow Unfortunately due to the absence of many of the Kirkwood Tiger [a now well known winning mech- and needs to be ready for a few more miles on the around him as he smashed his way to win the light- club’s bowsiders; due to man fl u/busted joints/doc- anism] with 100m to go and they raced their way home water of the Tideway. 38 FRIDAY 5 NOVEMBER 2010 felix

Sports Editors: Jovan Nedic David Wilson SPORT [email protected] Felix Sports League sponsored by Rugby exec beat netball girls at their fi rst annual Team P W D L F A Diff Index 1 Netball W1 3 3 0 0 148 57 91 5 2 Hockey W1 3 3 0 0 11 7 2 5 Netball Fun Day 3 Table Tennis M2 2 2 0 0 33 1 32 5 4 Netball W2 2 2 0 0 77 50 27 5 5 Table Tennis M1 2 2 0 0 30 4 26 5 Fern Gibbons 6 Tennis W1 2 2 0 0 17 5 12 5 7 Basketball W1 2 2 0 0 85 74 11 5 On Saturday 30th October the fi rst ever Netball 8 Table Tennis W1 2 2 0 0 10 0 10 5 Fun Day was hosted by ICUNC. The day start- 9 Badminton M1 2 2 0 0 12 4 8 5 ed with the sun shining, a clear sky and a lot of 10 Tennis M1 2 2 0 0 16 8 8 5 excitable Netball girls. 11 Fencing M2 1 1 0 0 135 41 94 5 As 2 o’clock approached, numbers at the 12 Basketball M1 1 1 0 0 76 58 18 5 courts began to grow, with members from not 13 ICSM Football M2 1 1 0 0 5 1 4 5 just the netball club, but rugby and hockey, and 14 Squash W1 1 1 0 0 4 0 4 5 even a few bioengineers as well. After a quick 15 ICSM Badminton W1 1 1 0 0 10 4 0 5 warm up game of touch rugby, everyone pre- 16 Rugby M1 4 3 0 1 98 53 45 2.75 pared for the Grudge Match between the Net- 17 ICSM Netball W1 3 2 0 1 134 80 54 2 ball girls and Rugby boys. 18 ICSM Hockey W1 3 2 0 1 14 3 11 2 Players were called on court but the only 19 Hockey M3 3 2 0 1 5 2 3 2 shooter for the girls, Nicole, was yet to arrive. 20 Football M1 3 1 1 1 6 6 0 1 So usual defenders, Bernice and Nakai, bravely 21 ICSM Hockey M2 3 1 1 1 5 8 -3 1 stepped up to the plate and put on the GA and 22 Fencing W2 2 1 0 1 241 221 20 0.5 GS bibs. As the whistle blew for the fi rst centre 23 Fencing M3 2 1 0 1 246 237 9 0.5 pass, the girls fully realised just how fast the 24 Football M3 2 1 0 1 11 3 8 0.5 boys could move. C and WA duo for the boys, 25 Hockey M4 2 1 0 1 4 2 8 0.5 Jamie and Joe showed off their dodging skills, 26 Lacrosse M1 2 1 0 1 31 23 8 0.5 and despite WD, Becky, and C, Emma, play- 27 ICSM Football M1 2 1 0 1 9 4 5 0.5 ing excellently for the girls, the boys managed 28 Netball W3 2 1 0 1 42 38 4 0.5 to successfully get the ball down into their 29 Hockey M1 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 0.5 goal third. GD Lorna defended brilliantly, but Just in case you’re confused, the netball goal is the one without the backboard... 30 ICSM Badminton M1 2 1 0 1 8 8 0 0.5 GA Chris was very nippy, and could jump un- 31 Squash M3 2 1 0 1 5 5 0 0.5 expectedly high for his height, and GS Max 32 ICSM Netball W4 2 1 0 1 44 74 -30 0.5 showed lovely movement in the goal third, 33 Rugby M4 2 1 0 1 43 74 -31 0.5 meaning that the score was level at the end of 34 Fencing M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 the fi rst quarter. 35 Fencing W1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 A quick switch around of positions took place Immortals join Cobras 36 Ice Hockey M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 in the quarter break. Nicole was put on as GA 37 ICSM Football M3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 for the girls so that there was an actual shooter 38 Lacrosse W1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 in the goal third. WA, Lucie, successfully re- for pre-season camp 39 Lacrosse W2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ceived centre pass after centre pass, getting 40 Squash M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 the ball down to the shooters. Brilliant defend- 41 Volleyball M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ing from GK for the boys, Caolan, meant that George Barnes weekend was the full scrimmage planned for 42 Volleyball W1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 shots were pretty much being tipped right out that afternoon. The coaches tried to touch up on 43 Water Polo M1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 of the net! Even though Caolan could jump ri- The Imperial Immortals American Football the technique taught to the players on the Sat- 44 Water Polo W1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 diculously high, this was not enough to hold the Club took another positive step towards start- urday during the morning session. By the after- 45 Squash M2 3 1 0 2 6 9 -3 -1 girls back and at the end of the fi rst half they ing the regular season off brightly by attending noon both players and coaches were pumped 46 ICSM Netball W2 3 1 0 2 96 100 -4 -1 were ahead. (Apparently the boys’ lack of abil- a pre-season training camp hosted by the long for the scrimmage. The Immortals’ defenders 47 Rugby M3 3 1 0 2 10 19 -9 -1 ity to stop running after catching the ball was standing Cardiff Cobras University AFC. were rusty but held their own against a strong 48 ICSM Hockey M3 3 1 0 2 4 17 -13 -1 not advantageous to them!) The team touched down in Cardiff Friday Cobras offence, a positive sign for the upcom- 49 Football W1 1 0 0 1 1 6 -5 -4 However, things began to go downhill for the night, and after a warm reception by the Car- ing season. Rookies Ben and Dhayan were 50 ICSM Rugby M3 1 0 0 1 0 84 -84 -4 girls after this as player of the match (and top diff lads, began training the following day at thrown into the deep end but played extremely 51 Hockey M2 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 -4 goal scorer for the day), Rob Dowden, dem- 11AM sharp. The morning session concen- well considering their relative inexperience. 52 Squash M4 2 0 0 2 2 4 -2 -4 onstrated that boys can actually play Netball trated on fundamentals, which are the basis of The offence started slowly making similar mis- 53 ICSM Hockey M1 2 0 0 2 1 4 -3 -4 whilst sticking to the rules. His great play (and any strong contesting football team. This was takes to last season, however by the second half 54 Badminton M2 2 0 0 2 5 11 -6 -4 a lot of luck for the boys in general) meant that a great chance for the rookies to test their skills there were clear signs of improvement from the 55 ICSM Badminton M2 2 0 0 2 5 11 -6 -4 the game ended in a 7-6 victory for the boys. against different players in a friendly environ- entirely revamped O. First downs seemed less 56 Hockey W2 2 0 0 2 0 7 -7 -4 Perhaps this victory will spur the boys on to ment, and a good opportunity for the returners hard to come by, especially with great running 57 Badminton W1 2 0 0 2 4 12 -8 -4 win their second most important game of the to be coached outside of their comfort zone. from fullback Alistair. 58 Football M2 2 0 0 2 2 10 -8 -4 year, the JPR Williams Varsity match! Fortunately the teams escaped the rain and af- With the weekend over, Cardiff provided a 59 ICSM Hockey W2 2 0 0 2 0 16 -16 -4 Though the girls lost this match they didn’t ter short team specifi c playbook sessions the great experience for rookies and returners alike. 60 Tennis M2 2 0 0 2 0 22 -22 -4 let it dampen the mood for the rest of the day, teams resumed afternoon practice. Working on Everyone satiated their football hunger, and 61 ICSM Netball W3 2 0 0 2 29 66 -37 -4 with a tournament taking place between all the often forgotten ‘special teams’ aspect of the both teams seemed to gain a great deal from 62 Rugby M2 3 0 0 3 29 80 -51 -4 those present. There was foul play. There was game was the focus of the afternoon, and for intensive training and hard hitting. It is hoped 63 ICSM Rugby M2 3 0 0 3 29 149 -120 -4 amazing play. There were complaints against many of the rookies this was their fi rst experi- the greater intensity, hard work and dedication 64 ICSM Rugby M1 4 0 0 4 53 173 -120 -4 the umpires. There were a few injuries. There ence of kickoffs and punt scenarios. With the shown by the Immortals in the preseason will was a LOT of rain. But most of all, there was session over, the long day ended after plenty translate to regular season success. fun had by everybody. ICUNC would like to of pizza and socialising with the Cobras, and The Immortals play their fi rst game on No- thank everyone that came and made the day another memorable night in Cardiff. vember 7th, at home to the Surrey Stingers and such a success! Sunday started light, as the main event of the cheered on by the newly formed IC CheerSoc. felix FRIDAY 5 NOVEMBER 2010 39 SPORT Cryptic Crossword 1,472 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

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One of the New Zealand coaches, not Graham Henry, during the press conference in Ethos Cafe 26

Across (10,5) 1. Recklessly elope with girl (Alice) 2. Install heavy equipment (5) All Blacks visit Ethos and head for Morocco – leaving this 3. Cooking early, made microwave dinner place? (8,7) (5,4) 9. Eccentric Archer struggling with cat (9) 4. Met up with model in appropriate sur- Jovan Nedic section of the gym was reserved for they beat them 26-24 in Hong Kong to 10. Fly Russian fighter plane over roundings for fling (7) them. According to one source, one of win the Bledisloe Cup. With the game Germany and Spain (5) 5. Ran rings round drunken cleric at The New Zealand Rugby Union team, the New Zealand coaches was heard in the 82nd minute, 20-year old James 11. Simple song – silly one for duck (5) start of dinner (7) commonly known as the All Blacks saying on Monday that he was going to O’Conner scored a try on the touchline 12. Hormone urging one to jump into bed 6. Cap is included in ‘Slim Items’ (5) across the world, came for a quick visit ‘beast’ them in the gym. for Australia and converted the goal (9) 7. Star physicist I’d get confused with and training session in Ethos on Monday New Zealand are in the UK for the himself to give them the win. Several 13. New agreement is said to be in its new don (9) afternoon. According to Sport Imperial, upcoming Autumn Internationals, with of the New Zealand players, including early stages (7) 8. Somehow entreat lean girl to make up the team did not wanting to publicise their fi rst game against England at Isaia Toeava, have vowed to learn from 15. Using fingers but not hands? (7) threesome (7,8) their visit; despite this, the sports centre Twickenham on Saturday. The game their mistakes last Saturday and are 17. Law for iodine swirling in this, per- 14. Silver-white metal camouflaged rust was swamped with enthusiastic students will also be shown in 3D by Sky. The hoping for an improved performance in haps (7) in MOT (9) and their camera phones, as well as jour- All Blacks will then play Scotland the their upcoming game against England 19. Not as thick as turps, for instance (7) 16. In speech, gloss over homicidal AI left nalists from Sky. following week at Murrayfi eld, fol- on Saturday. 20. Might horny girl find a use for this in Corporation building (9) An ‘exclusive’ news conference was lowed by Ireland at the Aviva Stadium This is not the fi rst time that the All U-tube? (9) 18. Where ships can unload – sailor held in the Cafe after they had fi nished in Dublin, fi nishing off their tour with Blacks have come to Imperial, with the 22. Dour boy-man, only half there?! (5) pissed here? (3,4) their training session in the sports hall, a game against Wales on the 27th No- side training in Ethos this time last year. 24. Headlong novelist (5) 19. Destroy electric ray (7) where the team were doing run throughs. vember. However, they were clearly able to keep 25. Working in theatre (9) 21. Underground press? (5) The side is returned to Ethos on Last week, Australia broke the All their last visit more private than the one 26. Free love? Everyone’s in on it! (6,9) 23. This way one can’t see window-screen Thursday afternoon, where the weights Blacks 15-match winning streak when this week. Down (5) 1. Playing Manics’ cult indie soundtrack

in association with Fixtures & Results Sports Partnership

Monday 1st November WATER POLO ULU Fencing Women’s 2nd 134 Men’s 7s ULU Men’s 5s ULU NETBALL SQUASH Women’s 1st 8 City Women’s 1st 86 RSM Men’s 1s ULU Imperial Medicals 3s ULU Sussex Women’s 1st 4 BASKETBALL ULU Men’s 1st 15 Women’s 1st 75 Men’s 2nd 2 Men’s 1s 61 UCL 2nd 5 FOOTBALL King’s 4s 6 LSE Men’s 1st 3 Thursday 4th November Women’s 1st Women’s 1st 6 King’s Men’s 1s 53 Men’s 1st 4 Arts London Women’s 1st Brunel Women’s 2nd 2 Wednesday 3rd November Creative Arts (Kent) 1st 2 Women’s 2nd 43 Men’s 4th 1 NETBALL ULU Arts London 2nd 20 Surrey Men’s 2nd 2 NETBALL ULU BADMINTON HOCKEY Women’s 2nd Women’s 3rd vs RUMS 4th Women’s 2s 46 Women’s 1st 1 Men’s 2nd Men’s 1st 3 King’s Women’s 2nd RUGBY UNION TABLE TENNIS St George’s 3s 18 Hertfordshire Women’s 1st 7 Arts London Men’s 3rd Imperial Medicals Men’s Men’s 1st 14 Men’s 1st Friday 5th November 1st 1 LACROSSE St Mary’s Men’s 2nd 29 Cambridge Men’s 1st SQUASH ULU Men’s 3rd 1 SQUASH ULU Men’s 1st 6 Men’s 1st 17 Men’s 2nd vs SOAS 1st Brunel University Men’s 3rd 3 Men’s 2s 1 Portsmouth Men’s 1st 2 Men’s 2nd Hertfordshire Men’s 1st 2 Men’s 2nd 42 Women’s 1st 5 Men’s 4th vs King’s 1st King’s Medics Men’s 2nd RUMS Men’s 2nd 12 King’s Women’s 1st 0 UCL Men’s 1s 4 BASKETBALL Men’s 5s ULU Women’s 1st 33 Mixed 1s ULU TENNIS Saturday 6th November Queen Mary Men’s 4s ULU Men’s 3rd 0 Women’s 1st 0 Women’s 1s 4 Surrey Women’s 1st 32 King’s Mixed 1s ULU Men’s 1st 8 SQUASH Kent Men’s 2nd 1 Royal Holloway 1st 25 UCL Women’s 1s 1 LSE Men’s 1st 4 Men’s 1st vs Loughbrough 1st Men’s 6s ULU Women’s 1st 15 FENCING Men’s 1st vs Bristol 1st St George’s Men’s 3s ULU Men’s 4th King’s Women’s 1st 1 Fencing Men’s 2nd 135 UCL Men’s 3rd Men’s 2nd Hertfordshire Men’s 1st 41 Middlesex Men’s 1st ISSUE 1472 05.11.10 “I can take him!” - All Blacks come to Ethos for training session, page 39 SPORT Felix Sport sponsored by Varsity moves to The Stoop

Jovan Nedic

After several months of negotiations and rumours, Sport Imperial were able to confi rm that the JPR Williams Cup match will move to The Stoop, home of rugby premiership side Harlequins. The new three year deal will see Im- perial’s and the Medicals’ best rugby teams fi ght it out for the JPR Williams Cup, named after the Imperial, Wales and British Lions full-back. The game, which is the fi nal game as part of Var- sity, has been played for the last seven years, with the Imperial Medicals win- ning every game since its inception. Last years game, which was held at Old Deer Park, home of London Welsh, saw Imperial slump to a 29-13 defeat, how- ever, despite this, Imperial went on to win Varsity 13-11. This year’s Varsity will be held on 16th March 2011, with games being played at Ethos, Wilson House and Harlington Elizabeth Richards of fi tness and 18 BUCS points. during the day, before the evening game With just the erg to focus on, Saturday was in Twickenham. Infection Last weekend, after the long four hour drive a very tense day for all. The hall was very Neil Mosely, Head of Sport Imperial, through the wind and rain from London to simple – one sports hall, 20 ergs laid out in commented that the event is “the most Boston, Lincolnshire (a mere 22 miles from two rows cornered off but still visible so all anticipated event of the Imperial sport- the awesome seaside resort of Skegness), sev- could witness the fate awaiting them. All ath- ing calendar.” When asked about the stalks rowing eral of the ICBC contingent wondered “What letes were measured for height, weight and move to The Stoop for the next three the hell are we doing here?”; the answer – the arm span before the moment when they’d years, Mosely went on to say: “We are GB Rowing Team’s fi rst assessment of the face some of the biggest names in British bowled over by the opportunity to use year and BUCS Small Boats Head. This ex- rowing. ICBC can hold their heads proudly the venue for the next three years and hausting weekend consists of a 2km ergo test as eight out of fi fteen rowers beat their per- are convinced that this will result in club at trials on the Saturday, followed by 5km races on sonal bests. even more interest in the event.” the Sunday in singles (for all GB trialists and After a quick paddle, a big Italian meal and The Stoop, which can hold 12,700 any students fancying their chances at taking some interesting sleeping arrangements the spectators, is undoubtedly a move in Rowing machines and strong a BUCS medal), double sculls and pairs (for night before, the squad awoke early on Sun- the right direction. However, questions the remaining available BUCS points). De- day morning to bright sunshine... with winds have been raised over the timing of the spite having a depleted squad, just nine Im- of up to 16mph. Fortunately, it was to be a move, as the match has in recent years, winds for IC Boat Club as perial students came due to multiple injuries tail wind. Division by division, the results only managed to get roughly 1,500 and illnesses, ICBC put in a sterling effort were released and all of ICBC were happy to spectators. Expect a large promotional they win 18 BUCS points and walked away with some impressive feats ...Continued on Page 37 drive in the run up to the event! COMMENT BONFIRE WEEKEND ARTS FOOD HANGMAN

It’s time to legalise Your illustrative guide Wildlife Photographer Food blogger sued An unfortunate drugs, argues Black to the weekend’s of the Year 2010: by restaurant for bad day for an Imperial Sheep: Page 14 fi reworks: Page 17 Page 18 review: Page 26 Graduate: Page 30