DOCSLIB.ORG

Spring 2019 Firsts Bi Women Quarterly Vol

Total Page：16

File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb

Download full-text PDF Read full-text
Spring 2019 Firsts Bi Women Quarterly Vol Spring 2019 Firsts Bi Women Quarterly Vol. 37 No. 2 A publication of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, for women everywhere Facing the Fear Dragon By Becca Flintham relationship. Their questioning fell on me —When did you first know? like sharp-edged stones, punching holes in the armor of my decision and letting (That I was bisexual. Queer. Attracted to guilt and doubt pierce me. women, to men, to people of all genders.) Only one friend said the words I needed Coming out isn’t a one-time process. We do it to hear: When I first met you, you had this not just for the first time, but over and over, lovely bright energy about you... And over and to different people, at different points in the years you spent with him, I saw it all go our lives. We come out to our friends, our away. She didn’t add, “You did the right families, our lovers, our co-workers. Each thing.” She didn’t need to. time, it feels like stepping out onto untested ground, wondering if it will fall away beneath us. This is the nature of first times: moving I first understood at nine years old into unknown territory, hoping that we’ll find that being a girl didn’t quite fit me. I understanding and safety, but knowing that short-circuited gender expectations by we might be walking into the fire. wearing boys’ clothes and having short hair, which allowed me to “pass” and do what I wanted to do uncriticized: climb- I was 43 when I first left a partner. Before then, ing trees, building dens, making bows I’d always been the one who was left. It was an unhealthy relation- and arrows and adventuring in the woodlands near my home. ship that left me with chronic anxiety, but I had enough strength I could be loud, bold, independent, take risks, and get dirty. I remaining to recognize that to rescue myself I had to walk away. was “one of the boys.” Some friends were shocked, having seen only a steady ten-year Becca, continues on page 16 An Ode to Tinder sexuality at that point, and quietly coming to terms with my By Amanda Rose ever-present, if latent, interest in women. So when my friends took it upon themselves to set up a Tinder profile for me in The first time I saw a naked woman with my own eyes was on September, I decided to go for it, and started swiping for men. my very first date with a woman. Impressive, right? Well, let’s Within a month I was seeing someone who turned out to be a go back a bit. polyamorous, pansexual, non-binary person. It was a lovely but short-lived relationship. Speaking of firsts, they were actually the I had been raised and lived my young life with the assumption first person I came out to about realizing I was bisexual. Even- that I was straight. That’s our heteronormative society for you, tually they realized that their spring semester workload didn’t right? I was very aware of my crushes on boys—that was some- leave enough time for more than one relationship, and the one thing I could readily process. I was exposed to so many examples they picked didn’t involve me. We’re still friends, though, and I of that. It was much harder to process how I was feeling about am grateful for their support. some of the girls in my life. I just assumed that was how other young ladies viewed their friends, too. I continued on my Tinder journey, meeting men for dates over beers in campus bars, but nothing really stuck. It was January For a long while, dating didn’t really happen for me. Filled when I finally decided to add women to my preferences on the with a fraught mix of self-doubt and fierce independence, I dating app. In February, I was messaging with a cisgender gay never really made any moves in my high school years, and no woman named Kaitlin (name has been changed), another stu- one made any moves on me. To be clear, while dateless, I wasn’t dent at my university. After a week of near-constant messaging having any sex either. on the app, we decided to meet in person. We planned to see It wasn’t until my senior year of college, when Tinder came into my life, that I started dating. I was newly questioning my Amanda, continues on page 16 Bi Women Quarterly • www.biwomenboston.org Spring 2019 • Vol. 37 No. 2 • page 1 Editor Upcoming in Robyn Ochs Editor’s Note Bi Women Quarterly Assistant Editor The theme of this issue is “Firsts.” We asked: Call for submissions Katelynn Bishop “What ‘firsts’ have been significant to you? A first Summer 2019: Calendar Editor awareness, first kiss, first relationship, first sexual Non-binary x2 (or more) experience? A first with someone of a particular Charlotte Alger Calling all readers with multiple non-bi- gender? A first coming out? Tell us a story about a nary identities—including bi+ folks with ‘first’ time, or about the ‘firsts’ you hope to have.” Proofreaders non-binary gender identities, multiracial Bri Kerschner We are pleased to present you with writing by identities, etc. How do your identities Elizabeth Fernandez Alicia González, Alissa Morgan, Ana B. Freeman, inform each other? How do you navi- Elizabeth M. Mechem Becca Flintham, Beth Innis, Bri Kerschner, J.M. gate others’ reactions? What labels do Robyn Walters Arrow, Jan Steckel, Jane Barnes, Martine Mussies, you use? Do you see yourself represented Samantha Pious, and two Amandas (Rose and in bi+ communities? Submisions are due Torres-Lantz). by May 1. Fall 2019: HONOR ROLL I interview Spanish bi activist Noelia Mellado Pozas. Shayna Maci Warner reviews Killing Getting Older Thanks for Eve, and Casey Lawrence reviews An Absolutely What are the challenges/opportunities volunteering: Remarkable Thing. of being an older bi+ person? How has Alana Martin aging transformed you—in mind, body, You will also find artwork by Jo-Anne Carlson Apphia Kumar spirit, or sexuality? How have you stayed and Why Not Both Co, two different takes Charlotte Alger the same? What have been the most sig- on the Creating Change Conference, and our nificant moments or transitions in your Ellyn Ruthstrom calendar of events. Fennel life? For younger folks: What have you learned from older bi+ folks? And no Gail Zacharias On an administrative note, we give our sincere thanks to all of the folks who supported this matter your age, what do you imagine Jordan Pearson project in 2018, either by volunteering or with your future holds? Submissions are due Julie Morgenlender financial donations. Bi Women Quarterly would by August 1. Kara Ammon not exist without you. Lizi Brown Submission guidelines are online at Peg Preble If you find value in these pages, you can make biwomenboston.org. a donation at biwomenboston.org/donate-2. Jordan Pearson Send your submissions and We offer this resource for free, but it costs us to suggestions for future topics to Julie Morgenlender produce and mail BWQ. Please consider giving a [email protected]. one-time gift, or becoming a monthly sustainer. Note: If you do not want your full name ~Robyn Ochs published, or wish to use a pseudonym, All articles and art just let us know. appearing in the Bi Women Quarterly are BBWN is an all-volunteer organization. copyrighted by the Apphia reads Want to proofread, edit submissions, authors and artists. BWQ. Send a picture of your- host one of our monthly brunches, help out with our new Etsy store, or with our Boston-area women: self reading Join our our Goo- website (we use WordPress)? Or, if you’re a BWQ to biwom- gle group: https:// student, consider an internship. If you are groups.google.com/ eneditor@gmail. interested in helping out, please contact forum/#!forum/bi- com. Robyn ([email protected]). womenboston The Boston Bisexual Women’s Network is a feminist, not-for-profit collective organization whose purpose is to bring women together for support and validation. We strive to create a safe environment in which women of all sexual self-identities; class backgrounds; racial, ethnic, and religious groups; ages; abilities and disabilities are welcome. Through the vehicles of discussion, support, education, outreach, political action, and social groups related to bisexuality, we are committed to the goals of full acceptance as bisexuals within the gay and lesbian community, and to full acceptance of bisexuality and the liberation of all gay and transgender people within the larger society. Bi Women Quarterly • P.O. Box 301727, Jamaica Plain, MA 02130 Spring 2019 • Vol. 37 No. 2 • page 2 Around the World: Noelia Mellado Pozas, Palma de Mallorca (Belearic Islands), Spain Interviewed by Robyn Ochs Noelia Mellado Pozas leads the Bisexual Policy Group of FELGTB, Spain’s national LGBTI organization. RO: Noelia please tell us a bit about yourself. beautiful boy. I’m going to marry him,’ and then you later saw NMP: My name is Noelia Mellado Pozas. I was born in Palma a girl and said to me, ‘Look, Mom, what a beautiful girl. I’m de Mallorca, Spain, and I’m 26 years old. I studied Hispanic going to marry her.’” Philology at the University of the Balearic Islands but I left that RO: What, if any, is your religious background, and what impact field after discovering that I was happiest helping others directly. did it have on your coming out? Did it make it harder or easier? I then completed higher vocational training in Social Integration.
Load more

Recommended publications
  • Bi Women Vol
    Winter 2011: Dec/Jan/Feb Bi Women Vol. 29 No. 1 • Intersections A newsletter produced by the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, for women everywhere Bi Conferences: You Can’t Have Just One... By Ellyn Ruthstrom In August, with 450 attendees from 28 countries, the 10th International Conference on Bisexuality in London was certainly an eclectic place to be. As everyone soon agreed, some of the most eye-opening moments for attendees were occuring not in the workshop sessions, but rather in one-on-one interchanges or group conversations in the hallways and at the pub. Personal connections and political networking abounded as most of the attendees spent several days sharing space, meals, and bodily fluids (come on, it’s a bi conference—let me make a joke!) Here are just a few impressions shared by some attendees: Bi Conferences Are Like Crack: It Just Takes Once to Get Hooked! By Heidi Bruins I was a bi conference virgin when I arrived in London at the combined BiReCon/BiCon 2010/10 ICB in August of this year. I had attended many LGBT conferences over the years (Out & Equal Workplace Summit, Creating Change, Southern Comfort, Fantasia Fair, and many more) and I wondered if/how this experience would be any different. After all, for the first time ever, people who share my sexual orientation would be in the majority! Experiencing three conferences at once can be confusing, especially if you have not been to any of them before, but by the end I felt I could tell the difference, at least some of the time.
    [Show full text]
  • LGBT Handbook
    A Provider’s Handbook on CulturallyCulturally CompetentCompetent CareCare LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER POPULATION 2ND EDITION Kaiser Permanente National Diversity Council and Kaiser Permanente National Diversity A PROVIDER’S HANDBOOK ON CULTURALLY COMPETENT CARE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND TRANSGENDER POPULATION 2ND EDITION Kaiser Permanente National Diversity Council and Kaiser Permanente National Diversity TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION........................................................................................................6 DEMOGRAPHICS .......................................................................................................7 Definitions & Terminology..................................................................................7 LGBT Relationships..............................................................................................9 LGBT Families......................................................................................................9 Education, Income and Occupation.................................................................10 Health Care Coverage........................................................................................10 Research Constraints..........................................................................................11 Methodological Constraints ...............................................................................11 Implications for Kaiser Permanente Care Providers........................................11 HEALTH BELIEFS AND BEHAVIORS......................................................................12
    [Show full text]
  • Feminist Periodicals
    The Un vers ty of W scons n System Feminist Periodicals A current listing of contents WOMEN'S STUDIES Volume 27, Number 1/2, Spring 2007 Published by Phyllis Holman Weisbard LIBRARIAN Women's Studies Librarian Feminist Periodicals A current listing of contents Volume 27, Number 1/2 (Spring 2007) Please Note: This is not a double issue. We have amended this issue number so that future volumes will correspond to the calendar year. Periodical literature is the cutting edge ofwomen's scholarship, feminist theory, and much ofwomen's culture. Feminist Periodicals: A Current Listing of Contents is published by the Office of the University of Wisconsin System Women's Studies Librarian on a quarterly basis with the intent of increasing public awareness of feminist periodicals. It is our hope that Feminist Periodicals will serve several purposes: to keep the reader abreast of current topics in feminist literature; to increase readers' familiarity with a wide spectrum of feminist periodicals; and to provide the requisite bibliographic information should a reader wish to subscribe to a journal or to obtain a particular article at her library or through interlibrary loan. (Users will need to be aware of the limitations of the new copyright law with regard to photocopying of copyrighted materials.) Table ofcontents pages from current issues ofmajor feministjournals are reproduced in each issue ofFeminist Periodicals, preceded by a comprehensive annotated listing of all journals we have selected. As publication schedules vary enormously, not every periodical will have table of contents pages reproduced in each issue of FP. The annotated listing provides the following information on each journal: 1.
    [Show full text]
  • Read Ebook {PDF EPUB} Best Bi Short Stories by Sheela Lambert Best Bi Short Stories
    Read Ebook {PDF EPUB} Best Bi Short Stories by Sheela Lambert Best Bi Short Stories. Jane Rule • Katherine V Forrest • Sheela Lambert. Funktionen begränsas av dina webbläsarinställningar (t.ex. privat läge). Uppskattad leveranstid 7-11 arbetsdagar. Fri frakt för medlemmar vid köp för minst 149:- 260 sidor 2014. Best Bi Short Stories is the first book of its kind, a literary anthology bringing together the very finest representations of bisexuality in fiction. The bisexuality of characters, like in real people, can be invisible to readers unless explicitly brought to their attention. Invisibility leads to underrepresentation, and on bookstore shelves that has certainly been true. Best Bi Short Stories hopes to change that by presenting the very best quality, cast in a bold light. With an all-star author lineup ranging from Katherine Forrest to Jane Rule, Ann Herendeen to Jan Steckel, and curated by longtime bi activist Sheela Lambert, Best Bi Short Stories encompasses several genres. The authors are a diverse group, as well, and Lambert sought representation across age groups, cultures, ethnicities and sexualities in both the authors and stories, demonstrating the richness of bi experience. Best Bi Short Stories: Bisexual Fiction. by Jane Rule , Katherine V Forrest , Sheela Lambert (Editor) Browse related Subjects. Best Bi Short Stories is the first book of its kind, a literary anthology bringing together the very finest representations of bisexuality in fiction. The bisexuality of characters, like in real people, can be invisible to readers unless explicitly brought to their attention. Invisibility leads to underrepresentation, and on bookstore shelves that has certainly been true.
    [Show full text]
  • Lesbians and Work $6 US Publisher: Sinister Wisdom, Inc
    Wisdom Sinister 67 sinister wisdom 67 Summer 2006 Lesbians and Work $6 US Publisher: Sinister Wisdom, Inc. Sinister Wisdom 67 Summer 2006 Submission Guidelines Editor: Fran Day Submissions and correspondence for SW #69/70 and #72 should be sent to Layout and Design: Kim P. Fusch [email protected] or mailed to SW c/o Fran Day, POB 1180, Sebastopol, CA Board of Directors: Judith K. Witherow, Rose Provenzano, Joan Nestle, 95473-1180. See page 4 for details. Also see page 4 for information about SW Susan Levinkind, Fran Day, Shaba Barnes. #71. Please read the submission guidelines below before sending material. Everything else should be sent to Sinister Wisdom, POB 3252, Berke- Coordinator: Susan Levinkind ley, CA 94703. Check our website at www.sinisterwisdom.org. Proofreaders: Fran Day and Sandy Tate Web Design: Sue Lenaerts Submission Guidelines: Please read carefully. Mailing Crew for #66: Linda Bacci, Fran Day, Roxanna Fiamma,Casey Submissions may be in any style or form, or combination of forms. Fisher, Sheridan Gold, Dianna Grayer, jody jewdyke, Susan Levinkind, Maximum submission: five poems, two short stories or essays, or one Barbara Link, Moire Martin, Kim Rivers, Stacee Shade, and Sandy Tate. longer piece of up to 2,500 words. We prefer that you send your work by Special Thanks to: Roxanna Fiamma, Alix Greenwood and Rose email in Word. If sent by mail, submissions must be mailed flat (not folded) Provenzano. with your name and address on each page. We prefer you type your work Front Cover Art: “Woman Welder” San Francisco, 1976 by Cathy Cade.
    [Show full text]
  • Bi Women Quarterly Being an Activist Vol
    Spring 2020 Bi Women Quarterly Being an Activist Vol. 38 No. 2 This is the Place: Building Utah’s 1 to 5 Club By Shauna Brock We took her seriously. Within a week we’d scheduled a meet- ing with staff. We sat together in the multipurpose room, which was really a large garage with carpeting, and were cautioned that bi groups had trouble because leadership always got burned out. Having come out in Austin, where in 1998 the bi community was rocking hard, I couldn’t imagine what that could mean. Burning out? Nev- er. (Newsflash: I did.) Determined to make us be the group that stuck, the process began. We were encouraged to try, and fail, and see what happened. Six people attended our first official In September of 2005, I crawled home to lick my wounds and meeting in November of 2005. We decided on a monthly peer start over after life had crashed and burned in North Carolina. support group and a monthly social gathering. Our name? The Reeling, all I wanted was community. Anything to make being 1 to 5 Club, in honor of bisexual sex researcher Alfred Kinsey. back in Salt Lake City a little bit easier. Side note: people ask me if I regret the name of the group, es- About a week after throwing my suitcases on the bed, before all pecially as research moves away from Kinsey’s work, and fewer of my boxes had arrived, I took a seat in a town hall being held people know him. I don’t.
    [Show full text]
  • Summer 2019 Non-Binary X2 (Or More) Bi Women Quarterly Vol
    Summer 2019 Non-binary x2 (or more) Bi Women Quarterly Vol. 37 No. 3 A publication of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, for women everywhere The Non-Binary Agenda By Denarii Grace I’ve been out as bisexual for over a decade now, but it took me 31 years to come out as non-binary/agender. While I readily acknowledge that this isn’t the case for everyone, for me, sexual and romantic orientation feel a lot easier—make a lot more sense—than gender identity. Perhaps it’s because of my specific journey. I’ve been aware of my same/similar gender attractions (and, perhaps most importantly, their co-existence with my different/ dissimilar gender attractions) since elementary school, since before I got my period, since . well, a really long time. Identi- fying outside of the conventional binary of gender, on the other hand, is a relatively new phenomenon for me. The night before writing this, I read an article shared by a friend (also non-binary) about a 10-year-old who just came out as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. The child is white and thin, fitting into the few media conceptions of what it means to As an older millennial, born in 1987, I often wonder what it be non-binary—completely removed from my experiences as a would have been like to have come of age in a society that, while lifelong fat Black person—but I read it with such fascination, certainly unbelievably far from perfect, is much more accepting awe, longing, and also some doubt.
    [Show full text]
  • Bi Women Vol
    Summer 2012: Jun/Jul/Aug Bi Women Vol. 30 No. 3 • Then & Now A publication of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, for women everywhere Then and Now from the early 70s until about 1975, when we were all By Marcia Deihl listening to lyrics like “Lesbian, lesbian, any woman can be a lesbian” by Alix Dobkin and “Sweet Woman” by THEN Cris Williamson. So when I met Kit, it all fell into place. My crush on the gym teacher, my high school crushes on “And though we live separate, I keep two rooms open, mother/daughter pairs, my diaries that said things like, “I And one has you in it and the other does not. don’t know whether to act like me or a girl.” And I move in the middle, unsure and protected, I met my first out lesbians in 1970 when I joined a And trip on my rope, vaguely sensing I’m caught.” Bread and Roses C-R (consciousness-raising) group during my junior year in college. Women’s liberation was just one – Ferron, “Shadows on a Dime” of many huge transformative movements that were going on then, including Black Power, the American Indian A love affair. A breakup. Pain and confusion about who I Movement, and the anti-war movement. was. There were only two choices then: a woman was either April 15, 1970: “The Revolution is starting. After all my a straight woman or a lesbian. I had been the first, then radical conversion and all, still didn’t march today. Harvard the second.
    [Show full text]