An Experiment in Collective Autobiogrqphy

The EÑE EE 3l

I'f qn Frqnci¡ co, 1975-1980 Barrett \ffatten Carla Harrymán Tom Nlandel Lyr Hejinian

978-0979C198-0-7M tt$tz"gs t lilrr¡ t crl t o seernirtg episternolo¡¡ical cornpul- their tlrerrres rvould linger irr abundance. Governments siorr" I <'¿rn onll'v.orttler antl suslrer:t. Where is ¿r con- ¿rnd nrctli¿r reprothrr:e these f¿rnt¿rsies: the nrothers of I rol ¡ro¡rulation to conrparc us" or rnvscll, to, as I tlead softlicrs are politicnl subjccts rvhonr [hr-- st¿rtc rtconst ruct it'/ had bct-tcr not betray! Oh ves. ther there is the rrert rlilcrnnra, u'hcn thc archaic liurt¿rsv is nriretl in rvith

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roles in the militarv ¿rs ther- are no\\. T have alr.avs been opposetl to tllc rlrilitarr irr Love, Di¡cord, Arymmetry ant' lbrrrr. I revisit- the abor.e st¿rtenrenl." "l llar',r ¿rlr-¿r\.s

I Lr)v r,; been opposerl to the rnilit¿rrr. in ¿rnv lirrrlr""" ¿rnrl u,on- tler about- the validitl'of the,statnn()nl. ls llris lrur: l)t,;ot't.ti (;o 1'o \\',\tt arrd tlie lbr lor-e in books and lore. in an crnotion¿rl scnsr--'/ Is this a stat('rn('nI of ,,¡,¡rosi- Nlcn are noble lltt-'n thel'le¿rve their rnotlrt-'rs and go tion'/ ln thc 1970s thc 1,.S. nrilitalr'\t'¿rs uoI lrcl

CH Corlo Horrymon

- first tlring I en\'lslorl ¿lll lr,¡rr,lrtrr' (rrcrc they?) stayr:d on tlle plal'lirl arrd ty of the u,ords in rnv nlind, thc lowlv basernerlt in a lr r,ll ol rotttance. rvhen I ellcounter the poerrr is a .jir "," s[ate institution with sorr]c recording equiprncrrt in it' w-rite this here: I \tr/r'r rr( ly cmbraces? I'm going to make up my Norv if I ()wr r(,il(.l game 50 ldon't have to look at go garden. y, ,r ¡r., \oothing words can be unsettllng. you I will to the I will be a romantic' I will sell l, rrr rw {l)crcentage, 1979l' myself in hell, I l)tst,oRt) in heaven also I w¡ll be.

Creelsv'5 havirrg l rit- \\ rr r I \\()nKt,l) at the Anrerican Poetry Archivc and llow does it diil'er lrorn Robcrt I'ottlr (.r'rrlrr'" 1978-8l. a graduate stutlcnt ¿rnd ten it? (irecley's n'riting ot tLe Il-i,'rr,l. I)¡rr irl llrown, told rne a story ¿rbout rvhen lrtt Lct's sav the garclen in irl rnY v'riting of it' Antl lrr' in \ iclrr¿rrn. It is a stolv T have rctrounted elsc- poern is the s¿rrrrc gartlcn as rvho is signified in thtr \r lr,'r','. lrr¡t I summarize it agairl here. Sonretirne tlre Ladv is the s¿rnre latll a sh¿rdorv' In irnagining ruloun,l l()7 I or '72, a helicopt-er drop¡red sont boohs poern also ¿rs a door, a sliirt, authol'etl" I see rnysclf ¿l[. iur \ nrcri<:¿rn rnilitarv carnp. People srt¿rtchcd the poerrr ¿ls onc that I havc and as the thr:rrr rr¡r. l)ar.id 'lvas tcntling to sottrcone's irrjrrrr split :rs the person n'ho v'rote the pocrn sinrrrlt¿rnc- lr.herr Ilrc lroohs were tlrolt¡rcd and thus got. the last object of the poern' But I canrlot identilr' thc ruords str<'h as bool< in tlrc lrcap: it r.as -For Lo'uel¡y Robcrt Creeler'-. ously v'itlt tlte Ladv and \\'ith stand lbr her' ln rnr nrcnror\, hc ¿rssoci¿rt-es this er-ent rvith his "shadort" and "tloor" that autltor it' detr.rnrin¿rlion to be a poct and lris succcsslirl tr¿uts- The poern does not cohcre, if I not Lhr: ckror but in ¿l -s(ltltrL]' f'er to a lrrilit¿rrr b¿rse in Cerrnarrt. As the Ladl', I am door and a gartlcrt At tlrc Arnr,rican Poctry Arclrir-c, the rnost fi'e- Within thc sccne" I c¿rn see a refk:ctions frorn r¡uentlv reprorlrrcctl audio recordings l-ere flrccl:t"s better thall thc shatlows, lhich ¿rre In anothcr" non-Ladl irrrd the nlo-st n:Protlucetl pocrn was "The Door," a thc rvinclou' ancl the nrirror. sub.iect I v'ithtlrar' {rorn the scerre' I be- ¡ror:rn I heard u¡r to sevcral tirnes a rvcch u'hile it u-a-. Jrositiol" arrl obseri'ing is sornc- lr.irr¡¡ <:opied. Tt. is hardl'irecl in rne. f)espitc t.hc firi- corne an obsen'er. but lvhat I

Corlq HorrYmon sharing this irr cornmon: tlrirrg like a stnte ol' rrrind: I "s(-'e" thc shadorvs gettirrg closr:r to the poct, tradition is impossible to r,.li.rrr,rl to in the pocrn ¿rs unfixetl mental inragcs. if' thc ronrantic "ter. has beerr trapPcd by it' "We" 'l'lr,' slr¿dou-s ¿trc ¿ln ¿rsl)ect of the cnvirorurlcrlt thc Lrngage, orre is in it or this is true for each of us' though l,,r,lr irrhabits Lrut thcv are rro[ ¿rt.t¿rched to lrer cvcn pr","t,.d th¿rt "or-rlJ in a di{I'erent rr-a1'. rl. ¡rirradoxicall-r,-, thcv are depcrtdetrt on hcr itnagr: ttr tradition is irrrpossiblc' I rr,rrli lheir "nragic," As Lhc rvritt¡r of the poctn. I atn Because the rornarrtic of tcpresentations frorn thc ;rlIr¿rr:ted to this un{ixed e1l'ect ol'languagr:: the sta- coultl atternPt to get rid be nothing lcfi of []re poern' or lrlc inrage, r,r'hit:h is tht-- Ladl-, rro\{ seerns l-o nle to bc poern, there rnight "lartguage poenr": ¡r scrrrctiolt. o.- hallucination" frorn thrt shatlorvs of' rn...b" there l'oultl be a l;rrrguage. As l,adl an(l ¿rutltor, I ex¡rericnce tlrlsclf' wall worshlP t lrr'rr both as sornething secretcd (secret-cd) lront lan- dresses door grrage and ¿ls sorle()rrc, contratlictorilr', protlucing thtl it slrlrlowy arrtl crcessir¡e pocrn. beYond Of coursc I arn only' pleterxling to be thc lrilt'r ol the pocrn. I havr: t:opietl ortr: quatrairt arrtl arn pre- I Asr:utlli't'nr tr.rrcling that to do so is a liintl o{' authors}rip. a ,t'l't't':n'tp'rtN(; to bring forth in this I'ritirrg l)sy- What il' I sairl, "'l'his pot-rn is mr' ¡roern'/" It l lu r¿rther a shaping as thc sl'rapc is isn't" cert¿rinly: Llnless rvhat T anr rcferrirrg 1.o is thc clrological shaptl, or The shaping is inelegant. possiblv lr riting I arn tloing noll', 'which is not poctn'. not st.nady or {ixetl. to a certain aspect of' the lovtr If' n-hat T arrr u'riting hcre is h¿rrd to ftrllorv, cotr- urrscernh¡, but related m-v erperiencr:' 'Ihe thernc of' lovr: is sirlt'r the masculirte subjcctivitl of the ltocrn as a lir- of poe[rv in clairns rl-ithin pot'tr\''s patri- trrre installetl within rrrv own lnentalit)'. "Yeah, I setl subject to ProprietarY leaps" in rrtv thinhing" u'hit:lr rvlr¿rt you nlean, tttan" i-s a language I can perfirrrn i1' ,nortl Th"- "violcnt to rne in lht: cours{l o1' our I gct rid of'rnlsclf as ot-her lrorn the poern'-* reptc- h¿rvt-. been pointecl out rnaterial, are art asPcct of' this awhrvard' strr t ¿rtions. cditing this shaping' u'hich is itself' a Or, "It's a trap," I corrld saY irr a hind of' sirn- associative, ps-vchnlogical bv its arltag- protest that also adrnires and is afli--ctetl ¡rati<:o rr-ar,-, acldressing rnyself to the inragincd ¿ruthor thesc lea¡rs (ahhough I Rolrcrt. Creelelr And in thesc r.ortls I irnagine rnvsel{' onist. I have also rescril)ted

Corlo HcnYmcn \r'ould prefer to call thcrn "nonviolent") in response Paris rvith [iavc urc For I'oae on her r-ay oul of she hatl been tlisappointetl by Crcel- to the etlitorial conrnrcnls, withotrt having aban- i, Fr:rnce" saying doned them. cv's poetry. Rcading it in Pari-q, I discor eretl its rrrate- ¡i Door, garden; sh:rdow-, shirt. Are thcse idcal i1 rialit,v ¿rntl lvricisrn, idc:rlity and destruclion of ideas, forms that I cnvision in my mind's eye'/ Or do tho *i its refusal of a rnessv 'rvorld fbr a ccltairl fornral repeated nouns invohe a primitir c cxlr+'rierrce of con- design, its arrogance and objectrress. f'llt'rt atrrl there sciousness? Arc rcader and writer connected through I rvas a r.riler. the repetition of these rrourrs anrl the other ref'erents (]an a marl pot-t ol' my gerrcratiott itttitgint' l that signify rr:pctitiorr and renewal? The sun comcs wonl¿rn reading this poern and loving tltis ¡rocnr rtot up e\¡erv tla¡ this is the renerval oI' nature. -A cloor ber,ause she iderltilies rlith it as ¿rn objtrtrt lrtlt as tlrt: operrs and closes, this is the rcpctition of' culture. person rvho rnal

Corlo Hqrrymqn I

il l,¿rtcr I (.arrr(' r.rl) u'ith a theor.)r rvhich given The basement of the Ar- ( "s lrccl,.r ¡rr.ot.lir it r totvarrl nlean strc¿rks in thosc chive. Hahl il \('iu¡ is lo lrc tlken u.ith a grain of salt. It is this: rr¡rou irrl r<¡

Corlo Horrymcn rlr rr.ith fbrmal innovatiorr ¡rroduced by us, ¿rs mcn ln a lightly accented North African French she ancl v'orrrcn. So I ask this trgain, f)idn't thc r¡uestions asked him, "Will you help me find a hotel?" Once rvc \\¡ere raising about subjecti-n-ity and authority in her room they began to kiss. She had tiny har.e everything to do w-ith a critique ol' gerrder that breasts, and, as she d¡srobed further. a t¡ny penis. lvould calrse a rcaction in others inr-ested in the sclf- It was insignif¡cant, yet somehow he found it oricnted, or romantic, poern'/ ¡nappropr¡ate. Humiliated, she hid her head in Ccrtainll-, it r'r.as in doubt rvhether there w-¿rs a her hands. Larly, or a Soldier, to adtlress, even ironic:rll1'. I ¡rropose that if the status of' thr-. I)esire is that-whatcver-\f¡anting to be satis- Latly had not been irr doubt, the author- lied. And there is no dcsire w-ithout objectification. ized lovers of the lbrm l.orrld not have So. to love the satisfaction of' lvhat cornes from onc- startcd a v'ar rvith thosc I'ho rethoughl self. rvhcther a child or thc rvords of a beloved rnas- or contestr--cl it. ter or one's own p¿rst-what onc \{as or rvhat one is-is it an objectification of oneself'? Is that what l'm doing here? I dorr't havc an answer, and T didn't then. I see milh-a milky-white fluicl-secp from my I nlti lt,lr'r'ntj rioltll) prc-sented to rne, "u,'ith inescap- baby's rnouth. ablc ¡rermanence and intirnacl-"" as flry oyster. Mine to shucli, merely f¿rshion thr: tool-yct, the frcsher Noth¡ng wanted satisfaction. I was in a small the oyster', the bettcr the o1,ste¡ so hrrrry up rvith attic room gazing out a dormer w¡ndow at a that tool. star framed by a smol

brrt it leaves too so he turrrs I caused these tears again and again. First I to court a crack in the sideu.alft.. caused them, then I experienced them. ln a gap

TM Tom Mondel 39