"It Worked for Me..." by Karen Koles
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The Executive Office on Aging Presents "It Worked For Me..." By Karen Koles A Compilation of Caregiving Tips by Karen Koles, A Former Caregiver and Facilitator of the Eldercare Support Group When my family and I first started this journey called “caregiving,” we searched unsuccessfully for a support group that would meet our specific needs. During this time of search, Mom and I enrolled in a state-sponsored class for caregivers where we met others who were in similar situations as ours. Our last class session was the Saturday following Hurricane Iniki where we decided to start a support group of our own without the guidance of professionals. We must be doing something right as we have been meeting for almost fifteen years. We call ourselves the Eldercare Support Group, and we meet on the last Saturdays of the month (except for December) from 9:30a – 12:30p at Kamehameha Homes Community Hall. We occasionally invite guest speakers to address our group. But usually our meetings involve sharing personal experiences, crying together, and encouraging each other with the reminders that we are not alone in this experience. We also support each other during the inevitable periods of grief. We tell each other which vendors to avoid, share information that we have learned from attending seminars and workshops, and help each other problem solve by sharing what has worked for us under similar circumstances. We tell each other where to buy diapers, which agencies to contact for specific help, and share a pot luck meal during each of our gatherings. We always welcome other past, present, and future caregivers to join us at our monthly meetings. As stressed out caregivers, we may not know the answers to specific concerns, but by putting our heads and hearts together, someone in the support group will know where help, information, or possible solutions might be available. I’ve been writing “It Worked For Me” for the Executive Office on Aging’s Family Caregiver newsletter for the past 5 years. I hope that you find this compilation of articles helpful for your often challenging, yet always rewarding, caregiving duties. 1 Q: Can you give me some practical hints about Additional benefit: If any of his blankets got soiled, handling incontinence? My father is bedridden. our wash load was only half as large as it would A: Cut a slit in an infant’s diaper midway between have been if we had used regular-sized blankets. the fastening tapes. Insert the penis through this slit and fasten the tapes. Then complete the process by Q: What should I include in mom’s “day bag” fastening the adult diaper tapes. This diaper will that we send with her when she spends the day absorb urine for approximately two hours. It will at my brother’s house? soon become apparent how frequently you will need A: Besides the obvious (extra clothes, diapers, to change this pee-patch. medication, etc.), include the following in a ziplock bag: (1) a copy of her “living will” or advance Q: How can I make bed baths easier? directives for health care, (2) a copy of her A: It’s easier to do bed baths if you use washcloths assignment of power of attorney, (3) the name and and face towels instead of the regular-sized bath phone numbers of her physicians, and (4) a list of towels. These larger towels can sometimes be her medications with the instructions for cumbersome to handle while giving a bed bath. administering. Besides, the smaller towels are easier to launder because they are less bulky and dry more quickly! Q: My husband spends a considerable amount of time in a wheelchair. How can I make him more Sew bright yarn in the corner of the washcloth that comfortable? you’ll use to “soap” your loved one. Don’t attach any A: Cushion: If your husband is unable to shift his yarn to the “rinse” washcloth. Using this system we weight, notice that because of the "sag" in the seat, never got our washcloths mixed up! his weight will not be evenly distributed, and skin irritations may occur. To prevent this, we used a Q: My mother is still ambulatory. I am afraid sturdy foam cushion that was upholstered in a that someday, in spite of our efforts, she may washable vinyl. The bottom surface was curved to wander away. What precautionary measures fill in the wheelchair "sag." The top surface was flat. should I take? The front of the cushion was about 2 to 2-1/2 inches A: On an index card or smaller, write down your high while the back was only an inch thick. The mother’s name, and the first names and phone purpose for this slightly backwards slope was to help numbers of several relatives or friends who are prevent dad from pitching forward in his wheelchair. willing to help in case mom wanders away. Take this card to a shop to have it laminated. Punch a Cushion Cover: We placed an open bath towel over hole at an appropriate place. When you help Mom the cushion. Other caregivers have used a get dressed in the morning, attach this card with a sheepskin. The towel enabled us to do minor safety pin in a location that Mom cannot reach or placement adjustments after lowering dad into the remove, like below her neck. If Mom wanders away, wheelchair without having to lift him again and again. anyone who helps her will be able to notify you or The sheepskin allowed for better air circulation. your family. Tabletop for Wheelchair: Our initial tabletop was a Q: My dad tends to kick off blankets at night. symmetrically cut tabletop that fit around dad. Two What can I do to combat this problem? knotted ropes were threaded through holes drilled in A: Instead of covering dad with one regular-sized the tabletop. These ropes were looped around the blanket, we used baby-sized blankets -- one to cover metal supports of his wheelchair, then tied in the his lower body and legs, and another to cover his back. The only change in our second and improved upper body. If it was a cold night, we’d use four model was a wider left side because dad's paralyzed baby blankets. We found that even if he managed to left arm tended to slip off the first tabletop and kick off a blanket, the rest of his body would be resulted in a weight transfer and uncomfortable covered. positioning. To further improve this tabletop, larger holes may be routed out where cups may be 2 inserted, preventing possible spills during meal Voila! You now have bibs that you can throw into times. the washer! Table Padding: Place thin cushions or folded hand Another caregiver used alligator clips crimped to a towels under your loved one’s elbows and forearms length of ball chain (the kind used to turn some (where he rests on the tabletop) to prevent skin lamps or ceiling fans on/off). He then attached the irritations. clips to large disposable towels similar to the ones used at car repair shops. After meals, he simply Leg Cushions: If your husband is unable to move his unclipped and threw the paper towel away! legs, you might want to place padding or thin cushions between his legs and the metal parts of the There's also an additional use of this alligator clip wheelchair. set-up (but with a longer chain). If your loved one stands upright while you are attempting to change a Carrying Bag: You may want to tie a bag to the diaper, you know that the shirt often times gets in the handles of the wheelchair (just as they do at the way. Attach one of the alligator clips to the bottom hospital to carry charts when transporting patients). front of the shirt. Place the chain over his shoulder To improve on this idea, attach pockets to the and attach the second clip to the bottom back of the outside of the bags to hold additional items. One shirt. caregiver used Velcro to close the bag and pockets. Still another caregiver suggested that you save the Q: Doctor visits are so frustrating for me. For clip that is used to refasten bags of coffee. Be sure obvious reasons, I try to schedule visits to two to get the clip that has a hole. Thread, and then tie a or three doctors on the same day. Even though shoestring, twine, or anything similar through these all of the doctors practice in the same clinic, holes. Clip this contraption to a towel, and you have each of their nurses ask me what medications another bib. Or, ask your dentist for one of those my mom is taking. How can I make this a commercial clips. simpler process? A: On an index card, I wrote the name of the Q: Can you give me some hints for handling medication, the doctor who prescribed it, the date it female incontinence? was prescribed, and the dosage. Next, I had this A: You'll need (1) an outer diaper and (2) some form card laminated. Then I simply handed the card to of absorbent padding, such as an overnighter the nurse at the beginning of each visit. If a new sanitary pad, toddler diaper, or depend-type diaper. medication was prescribed, and I didn't have time to Cut X's through the plastic of the absorbent padding make a new card, I'd just cross off or add (and only the thin plastic liner, not the padding).