ABSTRACT Title of Dissertation: COMPLICATING THE PHENOMENOLOGICAL CONVERSATION OF BASKETBALL AS AN EN- GENDERED LIFE COURSE Kasra Sotudeh, Doctor of Philosophy 2012 Dissertation directed by: Professor Francine H. Hultgren Department of Education Policy Studies This hermeneutic phenomenological study explores the lived experience of basketball in the lives of collegiate women who claim to be scholar-athletes. The scholar-athletes were invited to unpack their scholastic and athletic life stories, not just as a mode of relevance for communicating with others, but more significantly, as a way of transacting what is embedded within their memories via the written narrative form. Through the corporeal, temporal, spatial, and relational moments in basketball the meaning of the lived experience is illuminated. The question that compels my study is: What is the lived experience of basketball in the lives of collegiate women who claim to be scholar-athletes? The philosophic works of Heidegger, Gadamer, and Merleau-Ponty provide the foundation for this lived experience study. The “grounding” that each of these philosophers impart is used to penetrate the hermeneutic nature of basketball as “play” via autobiographical application. Furthermore, van Manen’s phenomenological process provides a platform of engagement and writing through the reflective practice of Pinar’s currere method as a mode for slowing down the lived experience of play. A group of eight former women basketball players who identified themselves as scholar-athletes were the participants in this study through a 15-week course entitled EDPS 488B: Complicating the Conversation of Basketball as a Life Course. By analyzing their lived accounts of basketball through a variety of literary means, each scholar-athlete was able to gradually build her own autobiographical written narrative of basketball in relation to the social, political, and intellectual contexts of curriculum as lived. In this process, I develop a philosophical approach to examining the significance of sport though a revalidation of seasoned becoming, a transformation of athletic feat into scholarly thought, a deliberation of unrehearsed narrative, and a recognition of never- ending sanctity. Setting a scholarly life course into athletic motion suggests themes encompassing the challenge of bringing the body and mind into an even playing field, the return to a moment when identities were merely playful and time simply stood still, the value of the sporting space on the athlete’s sense of community development, and the enlightenment of the self through the other via the discipline of heart and mind. Drawing from the insights I gained from my participants, I suggest that the praxis of sports as a life course is reliant upon curricular transformation and not the isolation of academics from athletics. The notion of irrelevance has trapped our mindset into the anxiety of wanting to be accepted. For scholar-athletes and a multitude of other hyphenated forms of human existence, anxiety hovers over an ever-changing becoming, almost fooling the being out of existence and into an artificial realm of acceptance. Scholar-athletes can serve as powerful role models within society, and hence, their lived experience is consistently challenged by their actions. The currere process not only tells the scholarly story of athletic lives, but it allows others in the broader community to engage in the practice of complicated conversations from a variety of perspectives, both within and beyond the boundaries of the sporting space. COMPLICATING THE PHENOMENOLOGICAL CONVERSATION OF BASKETBALL AS AN EN-GENDERED LIFE COURSE by Kasra Sotudeh Dissertation submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the University of Maryland, College Park in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy 2012 Advisory Committee: Dr. Francine Hultgren, Chair and Advisor Dr. Steven Selden Dr. John Splaine Dr. David Andrews Dr. Caroline Eick © Copyright by Kasra Sotudeh 2012 ii DEDICATION Just like a winning team within a sporting space, I am aware of the many players who helped me excel as a scholar-athlete and supported me to never give up until the final buzzer of life sounds … For my mother, Goli, and my father, Sia, who put aside so much of their life in order for me to pursue my dreams, and who never passed judgment upon the decisions I made personally and professionally; For my brother, Kooros, who has always served as a strong pillar, sharing my love for sports and cheering me on from the bleachers; For my sister-in-law, Melissa, who constantly reminded me that the academic journey is well worth it and the light at the end of the tunnel is near; For my nephew, Cayman, and my niece, Soraya, who showed interest in my research and energized me to accomplish my goals; For my childhood friend, Jeff, who first introduced me to the game of basketball and promised that I will reap its rewards in due time; For my best friend, Mohammad, who encouraged me to always chase after my dreams, and strive for nothing short of what I deserve; And for Noelle, my girlfriend, who brought me back to school and felt the weight of this journey on a daily basis, consistently reminding me to keep my eyes on the prize. iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS My deepest thanks and gratitude to my academic advisor, dissertation chair, mentor, and friend, Dr. Francine Hultgren, who re-energized my interest in research, and gave me opportunities to build an identity as a writer through patience and persistence. I appreciate the skills that I have enhanced as an academic scholar, philosophical athlete, and reflective practitioner through the opportunities and mentorship that you have provided for me over the past six years. I am also very appreciative of the support and time I have received from my other committee members through their pedagogy and research: Dr. Steven Selden, Dr. John Splaine, Dr. David Andrews, and Dr. Caroline Eick. Thank you for being such wonderful teachers and influential scholars. I also would like to thank all my friends in the IAABO and Special Olympics family. The amount of time that we have spent together talking about basketball, refereeing games, and traveling to tournaments helped energize my passion to write deeply about the sanctity of this game. Additionally, I would like to thank Dr. Jaime Schultz for her contributions to my research during the proposal process and my peers, Mark Brimhall-Vargas, Mary Grace Snyder, and Donna Paoletti Phillips, for the phenomenological insights they provided through their intellectually stimulating research. I am also grateful for the support and encouragement I have received from Lattisha Hall, Diane James, Eleonor Castillo and Kathleen Hoyer this past year. Thank you for nudging me out of my comfort zone. Lastly, the insights of this study would not be possible without the vivid, complicated conversations and autobiographical explorations by my scholar-athlete participants: Without each of you this basketball journey would not be complete. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER ONE: SETTING A SCHOLARLY LIFE COURSE INTO ATHLETIC MOTION ………………………………………………………………………………… 1 Capturing a Moment of Basketball in the Lived Present ………………………... 4 Hoopin’ through the Process of Currere …………………………………...…… 8 First Quarter: A Student of the Game ………………………………………….. 13 Sporting Spaces We Call Home Court ………………………….……… 14 Scheduling Basketball into a Life Course ……………………………… 15 Returning to a Space Twice Learned …………………………………... 17 Second Quarter: An Athlete in the Game ……………………………………… 19 Turning the Notion of Play into Competition ………………………….. 20 Modernizing the Purity of Organized Chaos …………………………... 22 Playing for the Other, Branding the Self ………………………………. 24 Feminizing the Notion of Warrior Athletes …………………………… 27 Third Quarter: A Scholar for the Game ………………………………………... 30 Learning to Play from Community Sidelines ………………………….. 31 Road Games and Warrior Cultures in Motion ……………………….… 32 Turning toward Being a Coach on the Rez ……………………………. 34 Fourth Quarter: A Scholar-Athlete on the Game ……………………………… 36 Walking the Endlines and Running the Sidelines ……………………... 37 Finding the Advantages and Disadvantages of Fair Play ……………… 38 A Philosophy of Play Worth Living …………………………………… 40 CHAPTER TWO: PENETRATING THE HERMENEUTIC NATURE OF BASKETBALL AS “PLAY” ………………………………………………………….. 44 Listening to Transient Phenomena through the Other …………………………. 50 Charging into the Corporeal ……………………………………………………. 54 Connecting the Body to a Culture of Basketball ………………………. 55 The Soul that Cannot Be Seen ………………………………………… 57 Hearing the Egos of the Team ………………………………….…….... 60 Opening Minds to a New Era of Athletic Bodies ……………………… 61 Transitioning within the Temporal …………………………………………….. 64 Finding Your Way in a Timed Space ………………………………….. 66 A Time for Body and Mind …………………………………………… 69 Preserving the Lessons in Moments Passed …………………………… 71 Shooting through the Spatial …………………………………………………... 73 A Complicated Community for Competition ………………………….. 75 Earning an Invitation onto the Court …………………………………... 77 Protect Home Court at All Costs …………………………………......... 80 All You Need is a Ball and a Hoop ……………………………………. 81 Rebounding against the Relational …………………………………………..… 83 A Theory of Basketball Relativity ……………………………………... 84 Enlightening the Self through the Other ……………………………..… 86 v Finding Meaning in an Ignored Loss ……………………………….….. 88 Painting a Blissful Experiment …………………………………….…... 89 To Err is not Athletic ……………………………………………….….. 91 CHAPTER THREE: