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T WEEKLY “The agingR process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.” – Doug Larson Volume ?,37, Number Number ? 18 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 FebruaryMonth Day, 18, 2002Year

Inside Blizzard Shuts Down Campus Students Frolic in the Snow as Worst Storm in Years Covers Campus, Cancels Classes. Events

JOE HOWLEY Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff

News...... page 01 One of the largest snow- storms in years shut down campus Overturned SGA this weekend and cancelled class- veto causes es on Monday and Tuesday as it mixed feelings, dumped two feet of snow on the Reslife alters area. recontracting. All University events from Sunday to Tuesday were also can- celled, though the Northeast Conference Swimming and Diving competitions did continue. Snow reached depths of two feet in many parts of campus. Opinion.....page 06 Physical plant teams worked hard to keep roads and paths clear, There’s an uproar though most academic sidewalks about library were not cleared. hours and praise The Dining Hall was on for the Gyros at weekend schedule on Monday, the dining hall. opening for brunch at 10:30 a.m. The entire Commons, including food services, was shut down. Students took the opportunity to build snow sculptures and engage in winter sports such as snowball fights, sledding and Features.....page 16 even snowboarding. In one popu- See what Matt lar sledding spot behind Hillside McConaughey Apartments, students constructed and Ali Larter had a ramp, sledding on everything to say from gym mats and mattresses to cardboard sheets. The dining hall staff was stranded on campus Sunday night and spent the night in Chesapeake Hall’s temporary rooms. Freshman Julie Caparratto noted that while the blizzard pro- vided an opportunity for relax- Sports...... page 26 ation, it also inconvenienced Swimming domi- many, including sports teams. nates at the NEC “I’m loving the snow because it’s championships giving me a chance to catch up and baseball Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff swings into action see SNOW, page 3 Snowed in: UMBC students spent Monday and Tuesday playing in the snow.

Also check out: National Code Orange Terrorism Warning college news...... page 2 world news...... page 3 classifieds...... page 31 Causes Increased Security Measures at UMBC Security, a High Condition is Higher Education’s Web site, declared when there is a high “The UMBC Police AMY SEGRETI colleges are possible targets of four day forecast risk of terrorist attacks. The Department has been communi- Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff attacks because they are poorly Tuesday: cloudy with a high of threat level was raised to orange cating regularly with local and defended, host large events and 36 and a low of 25 The nation’s threat level because recent intelligence federal authorities and there is contain materials for nuclear Wednesday: partly cloudy was recently elevated to orange, reports suggest an increased no indication of threat to this weapons, such as in research with a high of 38 and a low 27 or High Condition, and on likelihood that the al Qaeda ter- campus at this time. Should laboratories. Tuesday, the FBI announced rorist network may attempt to there be an indication of possi- Thursday: rain with a high and As stated in the email, low of 37 that colleges and universities attack Americans in the United ble danger, we will inform the increased security procedures could be “soft” targets for ter- States or abroad. The decision campus community immediate- Friday: partly cloudy with a will be implemented throughout high of 51 and a low of 28 rorist attacks. UMBC Police to raise the threat level was ly,” Manny Lewis, UMBC campus. UMBC Police officers have responded to this with made after conferring with the Police Chief of Operations stat- will continue to patrol both the increased security measures Homeland Security Council and ed in an email to the campus perimeter and the grounds of around campus. based upon specific information community. campus and students can According to the analyzed by the intelligence According to an article Department of Homeland community. posted on The Chronicle of see TERROR, page 3 Page 2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS February 18, 2003

BehindtheScenes Loving Father Robert Deluty Combines Poetry and Psychology College News ior,” said Deluty. These influences prompt- has made me a better psychotherapist ed him to think deeper about what kind of and my work as a psychotherapist has Princeton Electronically Tracks AMY SEGRETI thinking and motivations were at the heart Foreign Students made me a better poet because these Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff of such destructive behavior. common goals and processes reinforce Deluty attended NYU as an under- each other in all aspects of my work.” Princeton, N.J. (U-Wire) - Princeton The walls of Robert Deluty’s office graduate and SUNY at Buffalo as a gradu- The undergraduate classes Deluty University has started using a new electron- are a collage of pictures of his two chil- ate student. In college, Deluty couldn’t teaches include Abnormal Psychology ic system to report information on interna- dren, a 14-year-old girl named Laura and stand poetry. “I couldn’t fathom what the and Introduction to Clinical and tional students to the Immigration and an 11-year old by named David. His chil- teachers were talking about,” he said. But Therapeutic Psychology. Naturalization Service, said Mary Idzior, dren were adopted from Korea. “My top he soon realized that he very much enjoyed director of visa services for the University’s priority is my children – all of my free poets who made life experiences under- Quick Questions general counsel. time is taken up by spending time with standable. Deluty has since published over The INS originally set a deadline of them, entertaining their friends, driving 500 poems in a variety of publications, What is your favorite book and Jan. 31 for schools to begin reporting infor- them to school, and so forth,” he said. At including his book, Within and Between. why? mation, but the deadline was extended until the center of one of the walls is a plaque Deluty’s poetry takes many forms, “I don’t have a single favorite book, Saturday. The University started complying from Phi Kappa Phi, honoring him for his although he most frequently writes in a but I do have favorite authors and par- with the regulations on Jan. 30, Idzior said. achievements. “I don’t belong to Phi Japanese poetic form called senryu. ticular books of theirs that I love, e.g., Because of a timeline set by last year’s Kappa Phi – but they did give me an Senryu share the same structure as haiku, Mark Twain (Adventures of Patriot Act bill — passed in response to the away,” Deluty said laughingly. but it usually describes human experi- Huckleberry Finn), John Steinbeck (The Sept. 11 attacks — the University must for- Robert Deluty is a man of many tal- ences and is often satirical. A large amount Grapes of Wrath), short story writer ward information on all international stu- ents. He is a published poet, a clinical of his poetry is influenced by his own Raymond Carver (Where I’m Calling dents and visiting faculty to the INS by psychologist and professor here at experiences with his wife and his children. From), and poet Billy Collins Aug. 1. UMBC. Deluty’s latest research combines the (Questions about Angels).” Schools that fail to disclose the infor- There were two major influences in two fields of poetry and psychology. In a If you could be any animal, mation properly may not be allowed to Deluty’s life that led to his decision to be recent article entitled West Meets East: what would you be and why? accept international students. a psychologist. He is the son of a Processes and Outcomes of “Human beings are, by far, my Until August, the University is Holocaust survivor, and every night at Psychotherapy and Haiku/Senryu Poetry, favorite animals. Who else reads fic- required only to report new students or vis- dinnertime he and his family would sit Deluty explores the common processes tion, writes poetry, performs modern iting scholars and to report changes in the around the table and discuss people and and goals of a psychotherapist and a dance, makes movies, and acts irra- status of any current international students their motivation to hurt others. “We writer of haiku or senryu poetry. “The tionally? I wouldn’t want to be anyone using the system, Idzior said. would ask ourselves and each other, psychotherapist and the senryu writer or anything else.” Through the new Student and ‘How could people treat others like share characteristics such as the desire to What is your favorite flavor Exchange Visitor Information System, this?’” he said. Deluty also grew up in the bring about new awareness or insight in SEVIS, the INS will track specific Bronx. “I was surrounded by a lot of their audience and the need to be of ice cream? attributes of international scholars, aggressive behavior and it got me to think absolutely genuine in the feelings and “Vanilla fudge.” such as enrollment, field of study, about what the effects of poverty were attitudes they express,” said Deluty in an name and address changes, full-time and to try and make sense of this behav- article in Insights Weekly. “My writing status and graduation date. Date of arrival and port of entry will also be checked. While the reporting method will be different, the new regulations do Women Earn not substantially change the informa- $3,500-$4,500 tion required. The only new data the University will share is information on dis- Be an Egg Donor ciplinary action as a result of a criminal For an Infertile Couple conviction. The regulations will apply to all stu- •Healthy — Mature — Non-smokers dents or faculty on an F-, J- or M-type visa. • Age 20-29 — Average Weight Most students at the University are on an •2 week Part-Time Commitment F1 student visa, Idzior said. •Confidentiality at All Times Because the University receives most new students in the fall, the visa services office has made few entries into the system thus far. The graduate school received a “handful” of new students for the spring, and those students were entered into the sys- tem, Idzior said. The University typically receives sev- 410-296-5126 Towson, Maryland eral hundred visiting scholars during the www.familybuild.com academic year on J-type visas — a visa for students who, after graduation, plan to immediately return to their country of origin — and all newly arrived scholars are now being entered into the system, she said. By Aug. 1, the University will be required to enter all students into the SEVIS system and to print new forms for each stu- dent. “We’re going to do it gradually over the course of the year,” Idzior said. The Office of Information Technology has set up a series of interfaces that will transfer necessary information from the PeopleSoft administrative management database to a program at visa services, which will then forward data to the INS, said Ted Bross, OIT’s manager of data integration services. February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 3 SadbutTr ue ood job. You all drove Satan Has Taken Over held onto them for 90 minutes, and replanted GBrandon to the brink of 2003 – A Christian radio host has recent- them onto the blood supply of the thighs of insanity, so now I am the new ly declared that all the churches of the world adult rats. The brains continued to develop for about three more weeks (e.g., mouths SBT writer. You’re forewarned. have been overran by the Prince of darkenss World News himself, and that everyone within earshot began to move, as if expecting milk). The As my esteemed editor-in- should now worship somewhere else. Church researchers say their work is an “excellent Colombian Rebels Kill U.S. chief has stated, the “This leaders across the nation have attributed this model” for brain function in human babies. Civilian One Is The Fake One” was blasphemer to their declining service atten- actually not true. If you didn’t dance and are thoroughly outraged. New Species of Monkey Bogota, Colombia (Washington Post) - understand the subtle hints Rumored to Live in NYC Sewers Rebels shot and killed an American civilian that Brandon left for you, per- Rapper Decides to Discuss 2003 – On a routine electrical mainte- working on anti-drug operations for the Killings in Song nance outing, a NY electrician thought he Pentagon and a Colombian soldier when haps a brain transplant is in heard the distinct sound of a primate echoing their plane crash-landed Thursday in the order. 2003 – Among the rap lyrics penned by condemned murderer John Taylor, 38 (con- through the dank underground tunnels that southern jungle, U.S. officials said today. As always, here are the victed of killing five New York City Wendy’s honeycomb the streets of NY. After explor- Three other American civilians on the plane rules: Guess which story I employees in a 2000 robbery), during his two ing for a few minutes, the electrician swears were missing at the remote site in a region pulled out of my rear, hit me days on the lam before his arrest were these: that he saw a troupe of light gray simians dominated by Colombia’s largest guerrilla “so now you know how I go / They got my bounding away from his headlamp into the organization. back with an email at dim depths of the sewer. Subsequent investi- The two bodies were found close to the [email protected], and face on the worlds most wanted show / on chanel five showing live / you’ll think I’m gation uncovered feces and hair from some plane’s wreckage near the town of Puerto check back in next week to famous / I’m airing world wide / I’m a stick up unidentified animal, but no further sightings Rico, in Caqueta Province, about 220 miles see if you were as smart as kid so swift you see / in and out like 1 2 3 / I were ever reported. south of Bogota, the Colombian capital, you think you are. If I get a said give me the doe you say no, no? / Is it no U.S. officials said. One man was shot in the The District of Calamity head and the other in the chest. The fate of correct response, I will cordial- you said stick some lead to your head / guess 2003 – In January, a 72-year-old woman the three others on board the Cessna 208 ly invite you, via email, to stop what punk now your dead / with all that blood bursting out your head.” Taylor now says he’s was found dead in her Washington, D.C., was unknown. U.S. officials said they hoped by and pick up a little some- sorry for the killings. apartment the day after a police officer had the Americans survived and were able to thing cooked up for ya, like a searched the apartment and failed to notice elude capture by rebel forces operating in movie pass or something. Head Transplants Now A the woman’s leg sticking out from under- the mountainous area. neath a bed. There was no specific word on what the - Phil Watkins Reality U.S. contract personnel were doing on 2003 – Researchers in Japan infomed a Thursday morning when their pilot radioed scientific journal last December that they had an airport tower in Florencia, about 25 miles successfully removed the heads of infant rats, from the crash site, that they were experi- encing engine trouble. The pilot reported he was looking for a place to put the plane Winter Weather Immobilizes Campus down, but the airport tower lost radio contact with him soon afterward. at UMBC from Feb. 14-16 but many were “A lot of people still want times,” from SNOW, page 1 While U.S. sources said the aircraft was unable to leave on schedule. added Diving Coach Greg Zacholl. outfitted for “photo reconnaissance,” it was with my work, but at the same time it’s The meet continued on to Sunday, as Afelabi Adeleke-Adedoyin, a swim- not known if the plane was conducting such keeping me from going anymore and keep- Sacred Heart’s team found itself stuck on mer for Howard University, was more opti- operations. U.S. officials said the crew ing Crew from practicing, which sucks,” the campus and unable to return to its hotel. mistic on Sunday morning about his members, four Americans and a Colombian, Caparatto said. The swimmers and coaches ate in the prospects for returning home, saying his were working on anti-drug operations over Amber Sampson, freshman, felt there Dining Hall and rested between events on team still planned to return to Washington, Colombia’s southern coca fields. was nothing to be done about the snow. their coaching bus. DC, assuming conditions didn’t worsen. A Defense Department official in “Considering we’re a commuter school and Christine DePierro, one of Sacred “If it keeps snowing... we’ll see,” said Washington confirmed the men were civil- this is a ghost town on the weekends any- Heart’s 15 athletes attending the meet, felt Adeleke-Adedoyin. ians employed by the Pentagon as contrac- way, I think the cancellations can’t be the trouble wasn’t worth it. “They should The snow continued until midday tors, but added that they were detailed to helped,” said Sampson. have just canceled the meet,” DePierro Monday. work for the U.S. Embassy. Typical opera- Senior Brian Robey was inconve- said. Ben Kingsland, a freshman at nearby tions on such flights includes locating and nienced in one important way. “For the Trish Welch, assistant coach for Johns Hopkins University, said conditions targeting coca plantations for later eradica- entire time we are off, I’m trying to figure Sacred Heart, explained that the swim- were similar if not worse there. “It’s been tion by Colombian troops. The Washington out a way to get to my car, which has been mers’ times at the NEC meet also had ram- tough on us, but it’s great,” said Kingsland. Post incorrectly reported Friday that the four plowed in,” Robey said. ifications for the Eastern College Athletic “The school’s not really equipped to deal Americans were civilian contractors Swimming and diving teams from Conference later this year, “Today they can with this much snow.” employed by the CIA. Sacred Heart University, Howard qualify for the ECAC,” Welch said. “We Hopkins also cancelled classes on U.S. Embassy officials arrived in University and several other schools were might as well swim the meet if we’re Monday. Florencia, the provincial capital, to lead an attending the NEC regional championships here,” she added. air search-and-rescue operation that was hampered by a surge of fighting in the area between Colombian troops and members of the Revolutionary Army Forces of Universities Named Soft Targets Colombia, known as the FARC, the nation’s largest Marxist-oriented guerrilla organiza- UMBC Increases Security Due to Alert tion. Investigators from the Colombian attorney general’s office said they were from TERROR, page 1 taking additional precautions at public unable to reach the crash site because of receive more information on emergency events, preparing to execute contingency security concerns. U.S. officials said surveil- response procedures and get important procedures such as dispersing a work- lance aircraft and Colombian transport flew phone numbers on the website force, and restricting access to a threat- missions above the region of rolling pasture www.umbc.edu/safety. ened facility to essential personnel only. and jungle-covered mountains. Colombian The police department has created a “There’s very little anyone could say air and ground units gave some cover for the tip line to allow students to anonymously to make me believe that any terrorist search operations, Colombian officials report important information. The num- would attack UMBC,” said Ben Healey, added. ber for the tip line is 1-888-UMBC- junior at UMBC. “I’d think College Park The region has been the focus of a $1.3 SAFE, or on-campus extension 5-2446. and John’s Hopkins would be bigger tar- billion U.S. aid package that has given The Homeland Security Advisory gets.” Colombia more than 80 transport helicop- System addresses federal departments Karyn Knapik, junior, said, “I feel ters, training for a new military brigade and and agencies to follow a list of protective pretty safe. I don’t see anyone having a intelligence assistance designed to attack a measures. These include coordinating desire to do anything bad here, since our drug trade that provides 90 percent of the necessary security efforts with law biggest threat to anyone is the chess U.S. cocaine supply. enforcement agencies and armed forces, team.” Page 4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS February 18, 2003 SGA President Veto Overturned At the beginning of the summer, Patty HARVIN PEREZ Perillo, Director of Student Life placed the Police Log Retriever Weekly Staff Writer funds on hold. The SCC was about to make the purchase when Perillo realized the nec- On Feb. 7, SGA President Phil essary paperwork was lost. Shockley Assault reported that person(s) unknown stole a Shockley’s veto of an approved fund allo- agreed with Perillo that it would be appro- February 4, 7:06 p.m.; Casselman 2000 Honda Civic automobile valued at cation to the Sports Club Council (SCC) priate to not follow through with the fund Apartments - A UMBC student reported $13,200 from its parking space located in was overturned by the House of reallocation even though the reallocation that he answered his apartment door, at the Commons Garage. As of Feb. 11, the Organizations. The SCC was given permis- had already been approved. The SCC which time a former student, David vehicle had not been recovered. sion to use $1,049.97 to purchase a Sony requested for the video camera money to be Martin-Zeegen Roth punched him in his MiniDV camera for the purpose of record- given because they had SGA funds left over face with his fist. Mr. Roth then left the Theft from Building ing sports events to promote club sports at from their budget that they wanted to area. When officers arrived they received February 7, 1:37 p.m.; Magothy UMBC and for injury-prevention training. “record practices to improve games” as information that Mr. Roth was currently in Apartment - An ORL RA reported that Shockley’s reasoning for the veto is well as to eventually make sport safety the Patuxent Apartment. Officers respond- unknown person(s) had removed a cork- that “a tech club would have more need training videos. ed to the apartments and found him hiding board that was mounted to the wall. than a sports club” for a video camera. The proposal did not get readdressed in a shower at that location. Officers SGA budgetary policy states “the SGA during the summer because it was deemed instructed him to exit the shower and in shall not fund of the following for Student Theft from Building necessary to have school in session so that the process of exiting the shower pushed Organizations: Computers, printers, scan- February 9, 11:49 a.m.; Retriever Supreme Court members could decide the Officer Moran. The 25 year-old Mr. Roth ners, faxes, software, cameras, fans except Activity Center - A UMBC student fate of the tied up fund reallocation. of York Ct. Baltimore, Md, was arrested for clubs with said equipment as an integral reported that he left his coat containing At the commencement of the 2002- and charged with assault upon the officer part of the club’s mission.” “I did not see personal items unattended on the floor of 2003 school year, the SCC immediately and the student. He was taken before a how it was an integral part of the organiza- the RAC while he exercised on a tread- approached the SGA Supreme Court, head- commissioner where he was then released tion’s mission to have a video camera,” said mill. Upon his return to retrieve his prop- ed by John Williams, junior. The SGA on his own recognizance. Shockley. “Other clubs don’t even get this erty he observed that person(s) unknown Supreme Court granted the SCC permis- much money as part of their entire budget,” had stolen his palm pilot and other per- sion to obtain the funds because they he added. He felt it “unethical” for the SCC Theft from Building sonal items from his coat. already had it approved before and that it to receive the sum, which is larger than the February 4, 8:12 p.m.; Retriever was not their fault that they did not receive budgets for other clubs. The veto was not a Activity Center - A UMBC student report- Alcohol Violation / Sick Person the money due to lost paper work. They complete surprise. “They knew my objec- ed that person(s) unknown removed her February 10, 12:34 a.m.; Harbor Hall recommended that the SCC present a tion,” said Shockley. Shockley expressed purse containing numerous credit cards - Police were called about a sick student request for the funds to the House of that he wants UMBC students to be aware from an unlocked locker located in the at Harbor Hall. When Police arrived it Organizations and that the House grant of where the SGA funds are going. woman’s locker room that she had used was apparent that the student was sick their request. The SCC proposal to buy a video cam- for storage of her personal property. She from consuming too much alcohol. The When the legislation passed through era originated at the end of last year. The stated that upon discovering had her cred- student was also under the drinking age. Shockley’s desk he decided to veto the original allocation passed through the it cards had been stolen she notified her The student had to be taken to St. Agnes decision made by the Supreme Court. House of Organizations with a vote of ten credit card companies. She was informed Hospital to be treated for alcohol poison- According to SGA guidelines, when a veto for, zero opposed and two abstaining. It that person(s) unknown about the time of ing. is imposed it is the president’s obligation to gave the SCC $1,049.97 to spend on the the theft had used her cards at numerous provide the SGA secretary with a copy of video camera and other necessary equip- stores off-campus to make purchases. Theft from Building the veto. The SGA Secretary, Amy Larson, ment. The allocation of the funds to the junior, says that she never received a copy February 10, 7:50 p.m.; Breton SCC was not completed last year because Motor Vehicle Theft of it and that Shockley withheld it. Lack of Apartments - A UMBC student report that the approved paperwork was lost. The SGA February 5, 8:09 p.m.; UMBC paperwork to document the veto led the $190 in cash was stolen from her wallet treasurer, Jason Hicks, who would have Commons Garage - A UMBC student SGA House of Representatives Finance that was in her room. dealt with the issue of the lost paperwork, Committee to believe that the Shockley had was not a presence in the office at the end of the school year, according to a few SGA members. see SGA, page 5

UMBC Students March For Peace

From left: UMBC students Javon Harvey, Ciara McCaffrey and Maryruth Stine were just three of several hun- dreds of thousands of citizens who turned out in New York city - and millions around the world - to protest the coming war with Iraq.

Photo by Joe Howley February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 5 Reorganized Recontracting Causes Mixed Feelings

LISA HAMMETT resident, feels this is an unfair policy. “If Another change to be applied to this tions to the policy reforms. “I have to give they’re going to change the rule, they year’s recontracting process concerns the credit to RSA,” Axell said. “They listen to Retriever Weekly Staff Writer should change it for everyone,” said Morel. grouping of students when contracting. Up what students have to say and they let us Resident students planning on recon- Morel entered the building as a result until now students have been able to con- know what the needs are.” tracting may have to modify their plans as of the Shriver Center’s “Living and tract together for apartments or rooms in Several other changes will also be Residential Life reveals the changes in pol- Learning” program her sophomore year, Harbor Hall with groups of less than four. enacted this term. One is a former policy icy to be enacted during this year’s re-con- squatted, and continued the program this RSA and Residential Life decided that they that will be reinforced, which states that tracting process. year. Unfortunately, a rigorous senior year would now require a room to be filled for a once a resident selects his housing, no Three major changes were recom- schedule will not enable her to remain in the contracting request. This is in attempt to change can be made. “This will prevent stu- mended by the Office of Residential Life to program, so she was planning on opting for eliminate the “odd man out scenario,” dents from holding rooms,” said Young. In be implemented during the upcoming re- the “same building, different room” choice according to Frank Axell, Assistant the past, students have contracted during contracting period. One affects Erickson that has been available in the past so that Director of Residential Operations. their scheduled time to “hold” their current Hall, the second affects the apartments and she could stay in Erickson. Apparently, trouble has emerged in the past room in case they could not get the housing Harbor Hall and third affects students with “It’s going to make things difficult… because three close friends would contract that their desired room. differing numbers of credits who want to this doesn’t surprise me with the way that together, leaving the fourth roommate with This leads to an apparent shortage of live together. they run the rest of the school though,” a lack of community or sense of belonging rooms, which makes it difficult for Some students have lived on campus Morel said. within the apartment/suite. Residential Life to assign housing. for a year or two and have had their eyes on Residential Life strives to “create a This new rule is intended to prevent Another change has to do with the new Erickson Hall. Residents have traditionally process that works for the students,” this problem; meanwhile, it seems the apartments being built outside of Hilltop had a priority within their own hall for according to Nancy Young, Director of group of three will need to fight it out and Circle, slated to open next fall. The Walker recontracting, but one new policy abolishes Residential Services. “We want people to decide which of them gets to be the odd Avenue Apartments will not be a part of the this priority. like where they live…we know that part of man out. recontracting process, as they will have Residents will still be able to “squat” in that is through connections with other peo- The third major change to contracting their own leasing manager. Students will their current room, but they no longer have ple, which is why we like to provide the is intended to address the concern of stu- receive information about leasing the new the option of switching rooms within option of staying in the same building,” dents with differing amounts of credits who apartments as a part of the application Erickson. Young said. wish to contract to live together. The recon- materials. Stephan Uithoven of Erickson Hall is The main influence in instating the tracting process is prioritized by credit lev- Axell said alterations to recontracting skeptical of this plan. “It seems like a fishy new rule was a recommendation from the els. If two students wish to room together, policies are routine. “There are small new policy,” Uithoven said. Resident Student Association (RSA). “We they may not be able to because they regis- changes each year,” said Axell. “We’re Other residence halls will not be affect- work with RSA and listen to their recom- ter for housing at different times. always tweaking the system.” ed by this new rule, and will still have the mendations on how to improve the The new policy averages the credits of “As we [in Residential Life] think “same building, different room” contracting process,” commented Young. “We want students contracting to live together and about what processes work for us, we also period before the rushing final stage. [residential students] to return, so students this is the priority they are given. think about how they will work for stu- Jessica Morel, a second-year Erickson should tell us what they think is fair.” Axell praised the RSA for its contribu- dents,” Young added. Sports Club Council Receives Contested Funds from SGA, page 4 to all organizations. member, Kristen Cevoli, sophomore, said, Shockley’s “disregard” of the Supreme not vetoed the Supreme Court ruling. It was Swayne, is worried that Shockley has “It is a little hypocritical [of Shockley] to Court’s recommendations violates this sys- not until an e-mail sent by the President of established a pattern of denying organiza- tell us to spend all this money. We are sup- tem of checks and balances. the Sports Club Council regarding the veto tions funds that are available for them to posed to be supporting the clubs and then “The SCC’s mission is to promote and entered the inbox of BJ Swayne, Chair of use. The House Finance Committee is we have two clubs denied funds.” In addi- represent the sports clubs at UMBC. A the House of Organizations, that any mem- planning to be more lenient in these last tion, Cevoli added that it “was obnoxious” video camera would help to fulfill their ber of the body was made aware of the two periods with providing funds. They are that it “took so long for us to figure out mission. Also, many sports clubs, i.e. Presidential veto. going to try and “fund things that we had what was going on.” Williams said that Sailing and Crew, include safety as a large Upon the discovery that Shockley had cut in previous requests.” Initially they Shockley’s decisions “undermined the sys- part of their organization and training. not provided documentation of his veto were worried that their change from three tem of checks and balances” but that Naturally, safety would fall under the Sport and that the SCC funds were still not dis- periods a year to one a month would quick- although he did not agree with Shockley’s Clubs Council as an umbrella organization tributed, the House of Organizations ly deplete SGA additional allocation funds. decision, he still respects it. According to to these clubs,” said Sports and Recreation became “livid.” The House of But because SGA was conservative with SGA policy as it stands now, the Supreme Representative and former SGA Vice Organizations initiated the overturning of funds, they now have more leeway for pro- Court can only make recommendations to President, Tiffany Knott. Shockley’s veto and it was a unanimous viding additional funds to organizations the body; its decisions are not yet binding. When asked about his opinion on Phil vote. Shockley has warned in the past that that would like to do more with the money However, one of the purposes of having a Shockley’s veto, Ian van Gordon, senior overturning his veto will “come back to that the SGA can provide for them. Supreme Court within the SGA is to help and not a member of SGA said, “It sounds haunt them” and many SGA representa- SGA House of Organizations mem- provide a system of checks and balances as if Phil Shockley does not have the best tives believe that even if he is against sport bers had many things to say about against the legislature and the executive interests of the sports clubs and the entire clubs, it is still his responsibility to be fair Shockley’s decisions. Finance Committee branches. Many members of SGA feel that UMBC community at heart.” Page 6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY February 18, 2003

Inmates May Now be Forced to Take Antipsychotic Drugs

Gyros Tickle the Taste Buds of Hungry Students Opinion Can an Entire Country be Accused of Plagiarism? Ice Cream: More Than Just a Letters to the Editor Creamy Dessert

Dear Editor: It has come to the attention of The Retriever Weekly editorial staff that students patronizing the Dining Hall are often subject to mockery I know for a fact that I am not alone when I say, “this school has major issues accommodating for and harassment from their peers if they engage in the eating of ice commuter and non-commuter students.” The Walker Avenue Garage, behind the library, was built so that cream during the winter months. both students and faculty can park there. It’s understandable that the lowest level was gated to ensure “You’re eating ice cream?” the ignorant are heard to say. “But it’s that only faculty can park there, and I’m fine with that. The top level, where the meters are, was split in freezing outside!” Soft serve, sherbet, or traditional ice cream - leave half. Half of the top lot had meters enforced, the other half open for cars with permits to use. Then on with it in a cone and you’re an object for ridicule. February 3, all of the meters were put into effect. Unreasonable? Slightly. I go to where I had parked The logic is, unfortunately, incomprehensible. Ice cream, perhaps my car, the middle level, to find a violation ticket sticking from my windshield like a sore thumb. the pinnacle of dessert development, is suitable for consumption at any According to the officer who wrote my ticket up, the middle level garage is a, “no parking between 4am point in the annual cycle. Certainly, ice cream is traditionally consumed and 6 am.” So they expect resident students to move their car at 3:59am and park again in the garage at in hot weather, for both its pleasing taste and inner cooling effects 6:01am. Why on earth is there a garage when we can’t park in it? I pay every fee the school gives me, Thankfully, the summer has no monopoly on ice cream. Indeed, even this ridiculous tuition increase when I had already cleared my university account. The signs that are outdoors ice cream eating can be a hazardous activity. If the tempera- hanging above the middle level garage are so small, who actually pays attention to them? I believe it says ture is too high, the ice cream may be melted too fast for the eating rate something like students cannot park in the gated areas and must show a parking permit between some to compensate. This can result in drippy cones, sticky hands and all- hours (school hours, probably, like 9am to 7pm). Then the school decides to add this tiny, almost unde- around unhappiness. The traditional tragic image of a distraught child tectable, sign saying cars cannot be parked in the middle level between 4 and 6am. How long that sign holding an empty cone, the ice cream scoop melting its lifeblood out has been there? Nobody knows. Why? Ever since the garage has been built, students can park their cars onto the sidewalk? A result of extreme thermal conditions and overly with permits without the fear of getting ticketed. And it wasn’t like all the cars were being ticketed. I melty ice cream. noticed that half of the cars were not ticketed. The ticketing officers are randomly picking cars. I bet The winter months are notorious for inducing colds and other res- there’s some kind of a car bias going around! Is it because I drive a red 2-door? I hope not. So where piratory illness - an infamous symptom of which is the sore throat. are we non-commuters supposed to park? We’re subjected to fight amongst each other to grab spots Medical experts, political figures and the Oracle of Delphi agree: Ice along the loop. That’s it. The only spots we can park are on the loop. The lot across from West Hill cream is the optimal treatment for a sore throat. Indeed, ice cream is the apartments is gone to make room for the new apartments. The lot across from Susquehanna is non-exis- ultimate comfort food, and every college student could use some com- tent because of the Policy building. The garage is now closed, unless we want to get a ticket. What on fort. earth were they thinking when they decided to shutdown parking lots to build on top of them? These con- Every good student hopes daily in the winter months for snow, ice, structions could have taken some place else, like the hill next to where the new apartments are being built. or some other winter weather that will cancel classes. The snow demons The almighty beings “up there” who decide our fates need to realize that more housing and more aca- are fickle and must be appeased, as any student who has donned her demic buildings are great, but don’t sacrifice parking spaces. Each year, they admit more people, mean- pajamas inside out and still had classes the next day knows. There is ing more cars. And where are these cars supposed to park? perhaps no finer form of worship for these ephemeral spirits than the joyous consumption of their icy gift to mortal man: ice cream. Pia Alcanites The mockery of those who eat ice cream in the winter is a prejudice Junior/ IFSM Major born of fear and misunderstanding. Every season is ice cream season, and every day is ice cream day. Rejoice! Love thy fellow man! Dear Editor: Celebrate the icy, creamy dessert treat! Sitting at the front desk where I work this morning, I was filling out the logs and being a good desk- Hurrah for Water! Boo for Just staffer, when a co-worker of mine who was spending the wee hours of the morning on school work brought something very interesting to my attention. At each front desk there are applications to join the One Water Tap! We at The Retriever Weekly would like to complain for a second see LETTERS, page 11 about one of the dining hall’s many fine attributes. Why does the dining The Retriever Weekly staff edi- hall have only one damn water tap? Has anyone ever witnessed students torials reflect the views of the edito- using the “Kiwi” or “Strawberry” water concoction that is uselessly sit- E rial board; signed columns and ting adjacent to the source-of-life tap, mocking us regular water con- ETRIEVER sumers? And of course, because of this apparently little-known human H advertisements represent the opin- need for water, there’s always a line of at least four people in front of T WEEKLY ions of the individual writers and R this one tap. Then those people take three cups and everyone wants to advertisers, respectively, and do not Editor in Chief ...... Brandon Dudley necessarily reflect those of The shoot them. Why must these ignorant souls make people want to shoot Managing Editor ...... Brett McKenzie Retriever Weekly or the University them? Business Manager ...... James Omotosho of Maryland Baltimore County. In all seriousness, almost everyone wants and, as a matter of fact, Advertising Manager...... Danny Bhatti Letters to the Editor are printed needs, water at some point. It is highly illogical to have a total of six News Editor ...... Amy Segreti verbatim, although the editors taps containing either some type of juice or soda, and then have only Assistant News Editor...... Joseph Howley reserve the right to edit any letter one water tap. Although it has been proven that sometimes there is Opinion Editor ...... Phil Watkins deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous water covertly contained within the raspberry iced tea or the orange Assistant Opinion Editor ...... Samantha Hinds or otherwise in need of revision. juice taps, awaiting the first unsuspecting user, only to find that the Features Editor ...... Jenn Gibson The editors further reserve the right water that gushes forth is highly unexpected and unwelcome, and it Assistant Features Editor ...... R. Eric Thomas tastes pretty damn funny. So please, we water consumers beg you, take Sports Editor ...... John France not to print any letter for any rea- son. Letters to the Editor must be the water away from the unsweetened iced tea tap, and invest it into a Assistant Sports Editor ...... Nick Chrest second water tap. Assistant Sports Editor...... Andrew Chaney typed or written legibly and include Copy Editor ...... Sharon P. Cottingham the author’s name and telephone Copy Editor ...... Kelly Woodring number. Letters must be received Photography Editor ...... Alex Czisny by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may Assistant Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones not exceed 400 words. Production Manager ...... James Hamilton The Retriever Weekly publishes Production Assistant...... Wai-loon Chan weekly on Tuesdays during the reg- Production Assistant ...... Brooke Summers ular school year. Editors can be Production Assistant...... Kudirat Badru reached at (410) 455-1260 during Production Assistant...... Vasanthi Abraham normal business hours or at Technology Manager ...... Ray Shaw University Center 214; 1000 Webmaster ...... Rick Carback Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, Circulation Manager...... Adam Driscoll MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly Faculty Adviser ...... Chris Corbett is an equal opportunity employer. Administrative Adviser...... Dr. Patty Perillo February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 7 New Gyros at the Dining Hall Are What Makes Us Hot The gyro is a Greek creation, consisting stares of hungry college students burning lives on campus and usually eats at the GRANT HUANG of a round piece of pita bread upon which weals of sweat down his back, one man can Dining Hall. are stacked several strips of meat, usually only be expected to do so much. The guy When asked why he loved gyros, fresh- UMBC is on the rise. It’s been named lamb, although our Food Services chefs will sometimes forget whether you got lamb man John Ellis, a frequent customer at the one of Newsweek’s “HOT” schools; while thoughtfully offer chicken for the fainter of or chicken, or maybe if you got anything at community grill, replied, “Because when I other public universities are cutting down on heart. Typically garnished with feta cheese all. Exacerbating this unfortunate problem put them in my mouth they taste good.” spending, UMBC sports a bevy of impres- and a creamy dill sauce, the gyro often are people who like to walk up to the count- After further prompting, he revealed that sive-sounding construction projects, includ- inspires its consumer to add additional veg- er and steal gyros. “Did you have lamb?” “The pita and lamb go perfectly together, ing the Public Policy Building, the new stu- etables such as cucumbers, lettuce, and the chef will ask, busily slapping strips of and since pita shells are so thick you can dent apartments, and the ITC Building. The tomatoes. I’ve even seen one guy tuck in meat around on the grill. The unscrupulous stick anything in there. Plus, they hold water, school is recognized for its slick bio-chem- black olives and red kidney beans – it’s gyro thief will then respond in the affirma- so you won’t have tomatoes soaking through istry program, and is noted to be the top crazy! tive and make off with the ill-gotten gyro. In like in soft-shell tacos, the gyro’s Mexican ‘feeder’ school into Harvard’s prestigious It’s also come to my attention that some my experience, the best thing for you to do rival.” graduate medical program. of us are a little fuzzy on the exact proce- is to constantly make eye contact with the A third student, a senior who commutes But the real highlight of this school is dure required to obtain a gyro. First, you chef or make small talk while he’s cooking. from home, was asked whether or not he not to be found among the snow-covered sidle up to the community grill in the That way he’ll remember you, and you’ll thought gyros were UMBC’s greatest asset. mud dunes of our under-construction build- Dining Hall. The chef behind the circular get the gyro when push comes to shove, ver- On condition of anonymity, he responded, ings; nor is it found in the dank halls of the counter usually greets newcomers by solic- sus a would-be gyro snatcher. But in the “They’re the greatest thing since I heard that biology labs; nope, UMBC’s greatest asset itously inquiring, “Yo, you want chicken or end, such annoyances are trivial, and I for Health Services was putting free condom lies upon the great, greasy slab of a grill lamb, my man?” Thus prompted, you tell one am willing to deal with a little unpleas- baskets in the residence halls.” And so the found in our very own Dining Hall, in the the guy what you want. After perhaps five antness in order to obtain my gyros. opinion across campus is in, and you have form of the almighty UMBC-made gyro. minutes, you can expect to return and have A gyro is usually very filling while only one thing to decide: chicken or lamb, Yeah, folks, you know what I’m talking a gyro deposited neatly on your plate. having less fat than say, a double cheese- my man? about. We’ve all seen the lines that form dur- However, things don’t always work out burger slathered with mayonnaise. Also, ing lunch or dinner when one of the snazzi- quite so smoothly. Perhaps Food Services is there’s a certain appeal in being able to cus- Grant Huang is a writer for The ly-dressed Food Services chefs busts out the feeling the sting of the economic downturn, tomize your gyro as well, and since college Retirever Weekly. You may ask him further pita bread and the bags of frozen lamb and or maybe the popularity of the gyro just has- students often like to apply their creative questions on the finer aspects of gyro dining chicken. And yet, despite this indication of n’t dawned on them, but there invariably is energy to their food, the gyro is perfect. “It’s by contacting him at the gyro’s popularity, there are still people only one guy making gyros. In the middle of a sexy food substance,” agreed freshman [email protected]. that give me blank stares when I mention it. a lunch or dinner hour rush, with the beady Aubrey Tappa, a pre-pharmacy student who

Quotes from the Quad Where would you have taken Dr. Hrabowski for Valentine’s Day? photos by Anita Field

Doug Milstead, 25 Senior, History “Hooters.” David Lok, 22 Junior, IFSM “A very dark place so no one could see us.”

Rebecca Wilkins, 35 Graduate, Master of Science “The Mean Bean.”

Jinwoo Chung, 21 Junior, Psychology “The dining hall.” Page 8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION February 18, 2003

Plagiarized British Report Sparks Unnecessary Controversy

that what they did was justified. get so out of hand that England felt the name of their leader. PHIL WATKINS When a person in, say, college lifts a need to squander old information from As a result of this, we realize that we term paper from the World Wide Web and then-starving grad students to come up are on a fencepost, with a sheer drop on As our nation approaches yet another passes it off as his own, or “cut and with their own spin on the vagaries of either side: to attack or not to attack. war, all ears and eyes rove the news chan- pastes” from published sources, it is Iraqi military might? Mayhap our nation Both options have their repercussions. nels for news of new developments in the wrong. When a TV personality uses some- has been twiddling its thumbs too long, An unprovoked offensive on Iraqi troops Middle East. Has Saddam caved in and one else’s material without their permis- and the lack of action on our part has will have the entire Muslim world lending allowed the UN to conduct full investiga- sion, it’s wrong. However, can one accuse brought about the necessity for such dirty their strength to Saddam’s aid, while fur- tion unimpeded? Or are they still hiding an entire nation of being guilty of such a deeds. Should we have waited this long ther delay will cost us our lives by provok- evidence of their war-ready capability? thing, when the material presented was for Saddam Hussein to wrap the UN ing more inflammatory terrorist attacks on Such vital information is pivotal in our true and beneficial to the free world? It around his finger, and lead everyone on our nation and its constituents. Both are country’s status in saying, “Yes, we are may be permissible, no matter how irk- this wild goose chase for evidence of the unaffordable, and one is inevitable. When going to war,” or, “No, we are still stuck in some it is to do so, to let such infractions biological weapons stockpile we know in faced with such dire consequences for our limbo.” While the UN continues to hassle go. Can we, as Americans, say that we are our gut he has? This writer says no. If we actions, can we really lay it on the British with Saddam Hussein, British intelligence blameless when it comes to stretching the were to take the offensive, it should have for trying something a bit dastardly and compiled their own reports on the situa- truth or gaining credibility at the expense been long ago or not at all. Our country is underhanded, such as plagiarizing the tion that is brewing in oil country, and of others? Despite the face of ultimate suffering from an anxiety attack; we don’t works of up-and-coming scholars? It is later confessed to accusations that their diplomacy and good intentions, our fair know what in the world is going to come evident that we, as a country, have no say report was lifted largely from graduate nation has had its fair share of scandal, of this situation. It has been evident, ever in the matter. Let our British counterparts students’ published works and other jour- and we have pushed it all under the now- since the end of the Gulf War, that have their report, plagiarism and all, to nalistic sources, some of the text copied bulging rug. Every political scandal, Hussein has been capable of starting trou- sip tea over. We have bigger fish to fry. verbatim without any citation of the orig- every international-affairs faux pas, every ble, hence the no-fly zones and the trade inal authorship. This has been labeled as misinterpreted word from a not-so-bright embargos that are crushing that nation’s Phil Watkins is the editor of the plagiarism, and the world community is commander in chief has been allowed to starving economy. His people have been Opinion Section for The Retriever up in arms over the fact that Tony Blair slide. disillusioned into following him, no mat- Weekly. He welcomes all comments, and his constituents would print such a On the topic of letting things slide, ter what the cost. War, imminent death pleasant and abusive, via email: report as their own, but it can be argued how did America let the situation in Iraq and destruction, you name it. All in the [email protected]. Want to Work On Snow Days? Join The Retriever Weekly. x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260 x1260

This message brought to you by everyone that hates Brandon Dudley for making them work instead of play in the snow.. Page 9 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION February 18, 2003 Clinically Insane Inmates Can Now Legally Be Executed the profile of a sane man.” Fitting a pro- tributing members. Granted, he mandated because they think its best for him? Or do LUZ TELLO file does not make you sane. death to the insane indiscriminately. We they want him on drugs because then we Comparatively, it would be like saying are about to kill just one who committed would be allowed to let him die? Junior “Man to be executed.” Reading a head- that everyone who fits a Middle Eastern a horrible crime. Jamie Kellar comments, “It seems like line like that wouldn’t stop me in my profile is a terrorist. Both preposterous However, in killing Singleton, we they’re forcing this guy to take the anti- tracks. The death penalty is a well estab- notions! would be starting a precedent. American psychotic drugs purely for vengeful rea- lished part of our “justice system.” In fact, the four minority judges on law would dictate that it is right to exe- sons, especially since the medications did- “Insane man to be executed.” Now the appeals court disagreed with the deci- cute the insane in the future. The insane n’t even benefit him all the time.” there is something I’d spill my morning sion precisely because Singleton weren’t always that way. At one point One more thing remains. This man’s coffee over. Not only is the U.S. govern- “becomes paranoid and delusional when they were people who probably believed crime hurt a family and they deserve ment going to give itself the authority to not medicated, and is sometimes [still] in the foundations that hold the United something to take away their pain. I can- take a life, now it’s also going to forgo its psychotic while medicated.” States together. They probably believed, not offer anything that will measure up to obligation to protect its citizens in order Furthermore, the use of these drugs is like me, that our government would not having their loved one back. And because to do so. completely irrelevant to Singleton’s state survive to see its authority used to I know this, I also know that Singleton’s The facts cannot be denied. The man of mind at the time he committed the enforce “cruel and unusual” punishment death will not help either, especially in question is Charles Laverne Singleton crime. Judgment should stand, as it was as outlined in the Constitution. because of his circumstances. – a man who was declared guilty of rob- made almost 20 years ago. His mental If you think capital punishment The family has had to deal with loss bing and murdering a grocery attendant in health or lack thereof as a result of the under normal circumstances is justifi- and grief. But will they have to deal with 1979. Since he was judged criminally drugs at present will have no bearing on able, I don’t entirely disagree. My heart’s a life on their conscience too? And not just insane, he could not legally be put to his past actions, only on future ones. discontent lies with the execution of the one life, but those of others who will death. Until now, that is… Besides that, there is the little matter insane. Can it be justified under any law legally be executed following this prece- The hotshot wonders of the legal sys- of protection as an American. We all to kill a man who did not know he was dent as well? I guess they think they can tem can take credit for this cowardly act know that you’re innocent until proven committing a crime? Who does not live with that. of “justice.” Lawyers have convinced a guilty, which protects you from the fate remember it? Who lives tormented by So now the truth reveals itself. Man’s U.S. federal appeals court that there is a of a criminal if wrongfully accused. We hallucinations day in and day out? A man instinct of revenge has taken over. What’s way to exercise capital punishment for all know that there are laws that protect unaware of the hatred directed towards worse is that some think they have found a Singleton. Since he is not sane of his own children, who are much too weak to act in him for the death of an innocent stranger? way to legalize this malicious practice. I accord, by court order he will now be their own defense. The five majority judges argue that guess this is when I decide that being an forced to take medications that will con- Insane people are just that. They may their decision was based on the man’s American and “protected” by America’s trol his psychotic condition. not be children, but their damaged minds best interests and that in fact they “did laws does not measure up to what I Obviously, there is one fatal flaw in equate them to a child on the weakness not have to consider the ultimate result of expected. But I suppose I am forewarned, this plan. These anti-psychotic drugs do level. They no longer distinguish real anti-psychotic medications - in right? If someone ever wants to hurt me in not bring a healthy and normal state of events from hallucinations. They cannot Singleton’s case, the death penalty.” a Saddam Hussein or Hitler sort of way, at mind to the insane. They merely reduce know if their acts are self defense or out- I guess I was wrong in thinking that least here in the U.S. it will be put in the the degree to which these people are right attacks. Put simply, they just don’t courts were created to fairly regulate soci- law books and made legal first. deranged so that they are manageable in know. ety. It appears the court’s duty does not an institution forced to take care of hun- Today, we remain appalled at the encompass looking into intent. In this Luz Tello is a writer for the Opinion dreds of them on probably very limited Nazis’ treatment of the insane during case, it’s crucial they examine the intent of section of The Retriever Weekly. She may funds. Junior Keith Dvorsky comments, Hitler’s regime, his “cleansing” society the lawyers and the ones who hired them. be reaced via email at “They ruled to alter his mind until he fit of the weaker and so-called less con- Do these people want Singleton on drugs [email protected]. An Alternative to Diminished Opportunity and Cheap Education matter, is that UMBC has the ability to have their library open later than have the The bottom line is that if UMBC MALCOLM FURGOL choose how it saves the money the state is luxury of eating late. Not only that, but I desires to maintain the excellence that asking it to cut off its budget. In other believe the tax payers that make public earned it its Newsweek “Hot School” As of last week, the Albin O. Kuhn words, we were not told to and we did not education possible would also not be ranking, and continue to promote itself as Library began closing at 10:30 pm, instead have to sacrifice our library’s hours of happy to hear that library hours are being a center for academic achievement, then it of midnight. Let me repeat that: 10:30 pm operation, to meet these cuts. We do have cut, while new arcade machines are being must provide the services that such an instead of midnight! If the fact that our a choice. bought for placement in school buildings. institution requires. library, unlike many other universities Maybe, just maybe, the school could Now that we’re back to it, lets stay on Though I would like to think this arti- which maintain 24-hour library services, have found other areas to cut from in the useless gizmos topic for a while. cle will change things, I know my ranting is cutting back its hours does not seem order to make the money to keep the There is that XBOX in the RAC. I wonder and raving is obviously limited in its unjustified, then I will stop writing now. library open. Some simple ones I can how many souls we had to sell for that, effect. That is why it is of the utmost I’m still writing. You may be wonder- think of right now are landscaping, frivo- and kiosks in The Commons that allow importance that if you care at all about ing if the library is incorporating a late lous electronics and late food serving you to access the Internet? I know that’s your education that you contact Library night or two during which students who hours. After all, we did spend more on nifty, but really folks, don’t we already Director Larry Wilt ([email protected]) and require later hours can make use of the landscaping than on the arts and humani- have multi-thousand dollar computer labs UMBC President Freeman Hrabowski facilities. The answer to that is no, not ties in 2001. And I know you have all seen for you to check your e-mail and do your ([email protected]). Any of the senior only are we losing an hour and a half of the plasma televisions that nobody watch- homework? Not to mention that most of officers at the website services, the library is maintaining early es in The Commons, used for all-impor- those high-tech TVs referenced above www.umbc.edu/administration would also closing hours on Fridays and Saturdays. tant things like bulletin boards with don’t even have the sound on, so that if be good to get in touch with about your I am not an uncompromising person; PowerPoint presentations. That brings me they are actually displaying something concerns. Unless we let our administration if we were suffering a general depression to the fact that despite our library having other than the latest school propaganda know what we want to keep and what we I would absolutely understand the need to to close early we still have two food we can’t even hear it. are willing to sacrifice, these budget cuts cut back on the hours of our library. The establishments that serve late into the I also find it difficult to believe that will continue to affect us, as students, fact is, though, we are dealing with a state night. our marvelous fundraising machine has adversely. induced deficit which students are being The Grill in The Commons is open not been able to find a donor to pay for forced to carry the burden of. That an until 2 a.m. and Late Night at the dining keeping the library to its original hours. Malcolm Furgol is a senior writer at unprecedented mid-semester tuition hall is open until 1 a.m. Though dietary Though donors are notorious for attaching The Retriever Weekly. If you would like to increase has just been put into effect is but needs are important, for I am definitely strings to their contributions, there must berate him for being a spoiled suburban one example of how this is so. not one to prohibit late night snacking, I be a philanthropist out there that can be college kid drop him at line at mal- Another piece of interesting informa- believe the majority of those paying for convinced UMBC students are entitled to [email protected] tion that may lead to a solution in this their college education would prefer to have a library that serves them adequately. we know you have an opinion... share yours. X1260 Page 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION February 18, 2003

Lack of Reasoning Causes War To Erupt

KATE MCDONOUGH facilities to produce fissile material A plan for the future of Iraq would also be economic and political interests, we have (enriched uranium or plutonium) in suffi- necessary, but has not been yet developed. undesirably intervened into other coun- cient amounts for nuclear weapons. It The Iraqi people certainly do not want to tries, taken out validly elected leaders, The proposed war with Iraq is unjusti- would require extensive foreign financial see the U.S. place some pawn tyrannical placed our own pawns or dictators, and fied, and a very widely opposed idea across assistance to build such fissile material pro- leader like the Shah of Iran in their country have rightly sowed much global contempt the globe. The United States’ main propos- duction facilities and several years to – they’d almost rather deal with Saddam. because of it. That is a huge reason for ter- al for war is that because Saddam Hussein develop them. It is also a fact that Iraq does The cost of the war, as mentioned rorism today, if the President wants to has prevented U.N. weapons inspection and not have any long-range missiles, the only before, would be huge. Estimates are in the truly acknowledge why events like the subsequent U.N. resolution enforcing missiles they may have retained after the hundreds of billions of dollars, not to men- September 11th happened. The United these inspections, that his potential posses- Gulf War would be about a dozen short- tion the almost assured loss of American States has become far too entangled in the sion of weapons of mass destruction range (600km) al-Hussein missiles. The and innocent civilian casualties. The war affairs of other states, especially in the (WMD) would pose a threat to the global U.N. inspectors have found that Iraq is on terrorism should also be a huge consid- Middle East. We care more about the oil in community if he were to decide to use the capable of assembling chemical and bio- eration in the Iraqi war argument, not that region more than anything else, and it alleged weapons. This argument based on logical weapons, and they have found evi- because the two are linked directly, but shows to those nations of whom we take the international law principal of preven- dence of such assembly in the form of bot- because the United States has enough on advantage. Mr. Bush and Congress need to tive collective self defense is weak and ulinium, cyclosarin and mustard gas. its plate right now in waging one war. We take a step back and analyze all of these unproven. Also, President Bush’s claims However, it would take Hussein months to certainly should not be spending all of our points a little more carefully; else we dig that Iraq may be “harboring terrorists” is a ready all of this for an attack, but there is resources on two wars simultaneously. our own grave. There should be less inter- very far-fetched statement to be making, little logic to the argument that he would If the Iraqi situation was handled cor- vention in the Middle East altogether, less especially considering Iraq is one of the use them, especially on the U.S. The entire rectly, it would be dealt with in accor- financial and military support of Israel, most secularized Arab states, which is the reason that the U.N. inspectors are there in dance to international law and with the more diplomatic movements made exact opposite of what Osama Bin Laden the first place is to make these discoveries, cooperation and support of the United through the United Nations, more respect and his Al-Qaeda network stand for. The and solve the problem so that war is not Nations, and without great global disso- for international law, a movement for war, I believe, is also part of a publicity necessary. nance. As of now, many across the globe more peace and less war in the world, and stunt which was cleverly introduced as The U.S. also has no clear, defined exit are growing weary of the American ego- of course, the prevention of an unjustified many political and big business scandals strategy in starting a war with Iraq, a vital centrism and our “America gets to do war with Iraq. were breaking in the news, many of which thing to think about before deciding to whatever it wants” policies. U.S. foreign came suspiciously close to Vice President attack. Ultimately, the U.S. would be mak- policy over the past fifty years has shown Kate McDonough is a guest writer for Dick Cheney. ing a lifelong commitment to military repeated disregard for the sovereignty of The Retriever Weekly.. She may be As far as WMD, Iraq does not possess power and billions of dollars into that area. other states. To serve our own national reached via [email protected] Page 11 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION February 18, 2003 Letters to the Editor from STORY, page 6 Student Events Board. Within this packet of information was a section discussing what an SEB member receives from being in this student organization. The list included a salary of $6.00 an hour! While that’s not an exorbitant amount of money, I find it very interesting that members of a voluntary organization are receiving monetary compensation when UMBC is shortening office hours and planning on centralizing the mail system next semester due to severe budget cuts. First of all, I think the proposed mail plan is ridiculous. Working at a front desk, I’ve seen the sizes of packages that some people get; quite a few of them are not of a size conducive to a trek across campus, especially to places in the apartments. Mail often takes 45 minutes to an hour and a half at the desk where I work, and that is only to sort out the mail for 500 or so rooms. I can only imagine how slow the already snail-paced mail system would become, should five people have to sort mail for more than 3,000 students. Besides, where is the mail for the proposed mailboxes coming from? It’s a waste of the mailboxes already in the dorms, and that, in my idea, is not the optimal way to save money. Another way UMBC is cutting the budget is by shortening the library hours. Hello! We came to college to become well-read, educated individuals who are ready to face the world. The ultimate resource for the achievement of this goal is the campus library, which boasts more floors than the administration building. Why do the policy- makers think it appropriate to shorten the hours in which we can research and study, cutting out the hours when most students are most productive? In my opinion, the budget cuts are being taken out of the wrong places. The edu- cation of the student body, which should be foremost in the minds of the administra- tion, is suffering. Meanwhile, the SEB is paying their members $6.00 an hour to pro- gram events which no one attends. Think how many SEB phone messages are deleted before being heard. Some departments barely have enough teachers to handle all the classes being offered. In fact, the Modern Languages and Linguistics department has had to aban- don certain courses because of lack of funding, the Intercultural Living Exchange is barely keeping its head above water, and yet organizations with minimal impact on our academic experience at UMBC are being allotted huge budgets. The administration must seriously reconsider its area of focus if they hope to continue recruiting incom- ing students, and being touted as a “hot school.”

Stacy Lee Praniewicz Sophomore, MLL February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 12 Page 13 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION February 18, 2003 February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 14 Month Day, Year THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 15 Page 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY February 18, 2003

“Lose” that guy in “Ten Days” Micheal Buble croons some tunes Real Life vs Reel Life Features What is Chef Steph’s latest tasty treat The Legacy of the “4 Little Girls” Searing Documentary Shown in Honor of Black History Month teenagers and young children of the R. ERIC THOMAS area, Bevel said, the bombing of the Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff church before its monthly Youth Day service gave birth to a new It is 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night determination and turned the tide of in Lecture Hall I; a stunning docu- the movement. mentary by director Spike Lee has Technical problems in the just concluded and the gathered screening’s original location, crowd of students, staff and faculty Lecture Hall III, delayed the film by sit in stunned silence. No one leaves, forty-five minutes. Event coordina- no one applauds; no one moves. tor Monique Hagins helped pass the There is a tension in the air, an aim- time by facilitating a discussion less frustration and sadness. The amongst the attendees about why videotaped image disappears and the they’d come. Initial hesitancy gave audience remains seated. From the way free-flowing, sometimes ener- back of the room, UMBC President gized, discussion. One student in Courtesy of Paramont Pictures Freeman Hrabowski, begins to particular provoked a quick and pas- St. Matthew: Matthew McConaughey offers advice and personal insights to the Future Stars of descend the stairs. He removes his sionate response with his com- America tie, smiles a familiar smile and ments. Stating that he had come to waves to those seated in silence. the screening simply as extra credit Last Tuesday night the film “4 for a class, he added that though he The Gospel According to Matt... Little Girls” was screened in honor sympathized with the struggle of of Black History Month. One of blacks in America, as a international many such films to be shown during student, he viewed it in a much dif- McConaughey, That Is the month of February, this docu- ferent way. “African-Americans mentary focused on the bombing of aren’t the only group that’s suf- RYAN BLOOM McConaughey’s got it and the as displaying solid performances the 16th Street Baptist Church in fered,” he said. “People in America Retriever Weekly Senior Writer worst part is that he knows it. in “Contact,” “Amistad” and Birmingham, Alabama during the should be so grateful that they can The 33-year-old actor/direc- most recently in 2001’s horror- most turbulent years of the Civil do what they want, go where they What is it about a blonde- tor/writer first caught the eyes of suspense-thriller “Frailty.” Rights Movement. That crime left want, marry who they want and, haired Texan boy that drives all fandom with his role as David Promoting his new movie, four young girls dead and a country most importantly, practice whatever the ladies crazy? Well, when said Wooderson in 1993’s slacker hit “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” up in arms. Hrabowski, as a friend of religion they want.” person just so happens to be the “Dazed and Confused.” Since just in time for the big one of the girls, was interviewed for Though Hrabowski did not one and only Matthew then, he has starred in over 20 Valentine’s Day romance rush, the documentary and was asked to arrive until after the film and was McConaughey, the choices open films as well as writing and McConaughey seems to be speak at the end of the screening. He not privy to the discussion that pre- up quite a bit. Maybe it’s the directing the 1998 short film, enjoying the current state of his spoke primarily of moving forward, ceded it, his comments aligned with money; we all know that money “The Rebel.” While all of his career. Putting booze and bongos in thought and in action. “It took me much of what was said earlier. equals power and that power films have not exactly equaled behind us, we push off into forever to agree to be interviewed,” Speaking of the systems of privilege equals appeal. Perhaps it’s the Oscar moments, there have defi- uncharted territory. he said referring to the Spike docu- and power in the United States, accent. McConaughey’s Texas nitely been some performances RB: Your new movie kind mentary. “Most of my friends had Hrabowski said, “It’s a balance drawl is not just a ruse propagat- to be proud of. In addition to the of proved that guys do like those worked very hard to forget.” He between recognizing the impact of ed for the movies; he really does aforementioned “Dazed and little things that girls do; the made mention of the fact that he did history and saying that people can- talk like that. Or how about Confused,” McConaughey has annoying kinds of things. Would not come for the screening of the not afford to be victims.” fame; is the limelight the attrac- lit up the screen as an attorney in film, but only for the discussion, say- Hrabowski emphasized the tion? Whatever it is, 1996’s “A Time to Kill,” as well see MATT, page 22 ing that to this day he still has night- importance of setting an example mares about Cynthia Wesley, his through action for those that come childhood friend who was killed in later, noting that his parents had set V-Day: The V Does Not Stand for the church bombing. one type of example for him by Still, he said, it was important to fighting for civil rights and that receive what lessons there were to be he’d tried to set one for his son Just Valentine Anymore learned. He spoke not of hatred or of through achievement. “It’s what race, but of advantage. “You may happens in the home,” he said of RICHARD MCNEY “The Vagina Monologues” as with violence. A group of not know it,” Hrabowski told the advancement. “If there’s not read- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer the highlight of the V-Day women in New York joined crowd, “but three of [the girls’] fam- ing in the home, thinking about events. Based on Ensler’s inter- Ensler and formed the non-prof- ilies were very advantaged… so ideas, how can you be as well off On the eve of Valentine’s views with more than 200 it corporation V-Day. They when this church was bombed and [as others]?” Day women, men, couples, the women, the play explores began to use performances of the little girls were killed it shook the The legacy of four children old and the young crammed into women’s sexuality and exposes “The Vagina Monologues” to black community because it said that killed in Birmingham on Sept. 15, the UMBC Commons’ Cabaret. the abuse women suffer generate funds for organizations they, the middle class, weren’t safe. 1963, can be seen as one of pro- All of the seats were full, people throughout the world. working against violence Most Americans are decent people; found change. The sort of activism were sitting on the stairs, and Ensler’s play inspired V- towards women and girls. The V they don’t want to see a child hurt.” exercised by the smallest citizens of some even had to resort to sit- Day, a movement that increases in V-Day actually stands for In the documentary, Rev. Alabama and their families can be ting on the floor. They all came awareness and raises money for valentine, vagina, and victory James Bevel of the SCLC remarked directed not only to race or to civil to celebrate V-Day. Not women’s anti-violence organi- over violence. that the movement for civil rights in rights, but to human achievement as Valentine’s Day, but Vagina zations. The movement originat- Now V-Day has grown into Birmingham was failing and, at the well. “People say, ‘what can we Day. ed as a result of the numerous a global movement. Volunteers beginning of the Sixties, he’d come do?’” Hrabowski told the gathered Valentine’s Day night, women who came up to Ensler and college students produce to the southern city to organize the crowd. “Make a commitment to the Theatre COM and V-Day- after her performances and told youth. After months of intense issues we’re talking about. For me UMBC presented Eve Ensler’s her about their own experiences see V-DAY, page 19 response from the college students, it’s issues of poverty, of children.” February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 17 Hopefully the “Final Destination” in This Series

STEVE RENWICK time, but it does a good job at what it Born in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, she started “Final Destination” script was written more Retriever Weekly Staff Writer attempts. Second, if you make the story to her career in the entertainment industry as a as an intellectual thriller and we actually had intricate and psycho- model. Soon after, to reshoot the last third of it because of script Flight 180 exploded soon after take- logical you lose your she began appearing changes. off killing almost everyone on board. target audience. And in T.V. shows, pro- S.R.: You started your career at the age The survivors soon found themselves let’s face it, people gressing quickly to of thirteen as a model. Did this help you get dropping off one-by-one, as death closed aren’t buying tickets film. She has been your start in acting? in to complete its master plan. This was to this film expect- in movies such as A.L.: Definitely, I was on the cover of the concept of the original “Final ing a movie that’s “Varsity Blues”, Esquire magazine in 1996 and after that I Destination”. The sequel takes place going to have them “House on Haunted really started to get noticed. I moved out to exactly one year later. Kimberly Corman contemplating the Hill”, “American Hollywood and got to meet so many interest- (A.J. Cook) is beginning a road trip with meaning of life, Outlaws”, both of ing people. three friends, when she suddenly has a they’re just looking the “Final S.R.: What role gave you your big break vision of a major accident killing not for 100 minutes of Destination” as an actor? only them, but the other people on the screaming, laughing, movies, and many A.L.: Well “Varsity Blues” was my first road as well. She stops traffic, leaps and death. Third, others. Today she is movie and I was just thrown into it, I felt like from her car, and saves them all from this is a sequel, and one of the most visi- a puppy with big paws trying to swim. I was imminent death. As with the original, while there have ble young stars in just blessed with so many opportunities after soon after this event the survivors begin been sequels that Hollywood. that, it really helped me get to where I am dying. Searching for answers Kimberly live up to the audi- Courtesy of New Line Cinema Steve today. goes to see Clear Rivers (Ali Larter), the ence’s expectations Hot Stuff: Sexy Ali Larter tells all about Renwick: “Final S.R.: What type of role haven’t you only survivor of the events immediately most of them don’t. the making of “Final Destination.” Destination 2” played that you’ve always wanted to? following the flight 180 disaster. Clear, In addition, this is a marks the first A.L.: Tons. There is just so much out who has voluntarily committed herself horror movie sequel and no horror sequel sequel of your movie career. What about this there right now, I feel like the world is to a mental hospital, helps Kimberly to can ever live up to the impact of the origi- film prompted you to come back for the role my oyster. Right now I’m working on a discover the secret in death’s design. nal. Fourth the gore, body count, and grue- of Clear Rivers? movie called “The Tenants,” which is Among the survivors is Thomas Burke some death scenes have to out do that of the Ali Larter: When we made the first based on a Bernard Malumud book. It’s (Michael Landes) a police officer that original. The first movie put most of its movie no one realized it would be the run- great to be back in New York; it’s just so comes to believe Kimberly and helps her scare emphasis on the idea that anything away hit it was. Since the first movie I really interesting, as I’m doing this attempt to save the rest of the survivors. could happen. Realizing the audience felt like I had grown on an emotional level research, to see how a Jewish family The writers (Eric Bress and J. Mackye already knew what to expect after the first and I had a new desire to push myself in new really lived in New York in the late Gruber) and the producers (Warren Zide one, the director (David R. Ellis) and the roles, so I wasn’t really sure I wanted to do it, 1970’s and the kind of prejudice they had and Craig Perry) realize the three most director of photography (Gary Capo) set out but there’s something cool about doing a to face everyday. important facts about a shocker horror to make the death scenes more gory and movie people like. S.R.: Finally, what advice would you movie. First the audience is only looking for more intricate. While they didn’t do as well S.R.: You have more than a couple hor- give to someone trying to make it as an actor? one thing in a film like this, fast paced as the director of the original film (James ror movies in your very diverse resume. Are A.L.: Never change. Working in action, nonstop chaos, and in this case very Wong), they were able to create their own they of any particular interest to you? Hollywood I’ve gotten to meet some great intricate, shocking, edge of your seat death style of death scenes. A.L.: Not really, it’s interesting how actors and I look at how every one of them is sequences. Not to say that this is the most I recently had a chance Ali Larter about because of the movies I’ve done I’ve gotten there own unique person. None of them com- shocking, heart-pounding, thrill ride of all her views on this movie as well as her career. known as this horror actress. The original promise who they are or what they believe in. Anything but Common

LISA HAMMETT “Naked Music,” that is, music that relies Retriever Weekly Staff Writer heavily upon melody and lyrics rather than equipment and distortion. Pinsker will host A snapshot of any given Thursday— a CD release at Paloma’s on March 8 and the last day the of most students’ school will be joined by future Common Grounds week – reveals many students scrambling coffeehouse performers, We’re About 9. about; perhaps organizing yet another rou- “I’ve been playing out since I was in tine trip downtown for college night, high school, but I broke once I was in col- maybe finalizing plans for the date with lege,” Pinsker explained. “I write music that special someone, or even seeking to for myself and hopefully the stuff that real- gain some sort of wisdom at the library, ly matters to me gets through to others getting ahead with schoolwork before the too.” weekend. But the wisest aren’t found in Helpert shared similar sentiments any of these places; rather, they are bask- about her reason for writing music. “I write ing in the tranquilities of a warm up cup of from a place where I feel strong,” she said. java and beautiful music. “I write and play [music] to give that feel- The Common Grounds coffeehouse ing to others, and I’ve been amazed at the provided another evening of entertainment diversity of people that I hear are listening and culture, another night of peaceful to my music.” music and free coffee—all within the com- Helpert’s musical style comes from forts of campus. several different backgrounds, creating a “It’s cool to have something to do on distinct sound that can only be described as campus,” commented student Tyler Wolfe. blended. She described her musical back- “I go to Baltimore just about every week- ground as containing a elements of “gypsy end, but it’s nice to have music within story-telling, blues, jazz, and soul,” which walking distance.” she combines, using her guitar and voice as Sarah Pinsker and Leslie Helpert, two a “medium” for telling her story. It’s with- separate established musicians, shared in the very sound of her voice and her their talents with students at the Common music that her meaningful and metaphori- Grounds coffeehouse, filling the room with cal lyrics are understood. heartfelt lyrics and music whose echo Pinsker and Helpert are only two of reached the second floor of the Commons the reputable musicians to come through and met the ear of junior Rohini Batra, the Common Grounds coffeehouse series who appreciated a mild distraction from this semester. Hand-selected by a musi- studying. cian, the performers that come through in Pinsker opened the evening with an this series are coffeehouse-worthy and animated and affectionate folk-rock set, are worth a trip to the Commons—come giving students a chance to experience experience the Thursday-night treasure what it was like at Paloma’s in Baltimore. on campus! A complete schedule of per- Pinsker books and hosts music at Paloma’s formers is available at on Tuesday nights for a series known as www.umbc.edu/commongrounds. Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES February 18, 2003 Scopin’ Out the Future by J. Guevara Jenn Gibson by Devlyn Fennell

Hi. Fans, what the heck is going on? I things are more clear. I can see clearly now, want some warm weather! Some humidity! the rain is gone. La la la. He referred to Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) Where is my summertime? This winter stuff Steve Irwin, a.k.a. My New Daddy, as “that This week you will learn a new lan- Is that love in the air? No. It’s is no bueno and makes me unhappy. Not dude on tv that wrestles crocodiles.” My guage, but since you’re the only one who Carbon Monoxide…you may want to get that that is your problem by any means, but mum Chrysanthemum has vowed her eter- speaks it, you’ll earn a free pass to an out of the building. it is mine, and since I share things with you, nal love for this man and said that one day asylum. I decided to share that. Thanks for listening. he will be my new daddy. I believe her. I I feel lots better. My To-Do List says that I really do. must write SGA at this very second. And as Speaking of quotes, my dear Chip Rose Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) you all may remember, during the school said, while he was regarding the tie he was A small furry biped will follow you Sadly, this week you will break you year, I am a slave to the ever-present- wearing, “This tie looks like a tree vomit- around poking you in the side with a arm in a nasty tricycle accident. always-hanging-over-my-shoulder To-Do ed.” Nice. And Mark Gross is a nice boy. pointy stick. Lists. The blasted thing. There are bunches of shows coming I will tell you stories this week, like I do up, which is super exciting. Recher every week. The first one is about the class Theatre will be acting as venue to 2 Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) I’m retaking, Physical Geography. The pro- Skinnee J’s, Jepetto, and Vinyl. Not in the fessor had a wedgie all throughout class. same night, that would be too perfect, but Angry volleyball professionals will I see lots of good things in your Not that I was checking out his arse or any- on three different wonderful occasions. I pelt your car with scented candles. future. But since that makes me jealous I thing – he would turn around to write stuff like 2SJs, the last time they were at won’t tell you what they are. about energy and specific heat on the board Recher the show was SO AWESOME!!! and there was said wedgie. Mike “I Like to There’s also a show featuring Flogging Play Golf Games on my Phone During Molly, described as “a Guinness soaked Cancer (June 22 - July 23) Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) Class” Stahl was sitting next to me and got musical body blow.” I don’t know who You will catch a posse of mentally You’re not going to find it…you a good ole’ laugh out of my observation. said that, it was on the website for Recher unstable clowns and donate them to the may as well stop looking. And then he called me a stupid “vegan or Theatre, which is local petting zoo. vegetarian or whatever” for nibbling on raw www.rechertheatre.com. There is my veggies during class. For the record I am a citation, so back off. Now, if for some vegetarian. Comprenez-vous? reason I do not get a ticket to see my 2SJs Yeah, I spoke French. Je parle the fran- or Hot Dave of Jepetto, I will be very Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) cais from time to time. upset and might hurt somebody. Please Winnie the Pooh dolls will come to There are many secrets that I am Enter story numero dos. I think that go out and support these awesome bands, life one night soon and attack you in enjoying not telling you. being a vegetarian is very exciting. You just don’t buy any tickets before I do. J your sleep. have to experiment with taste and texture Guevara is so hot. Damn. and flavor. (Not flava, that would be Thinking about J Guevara makes me Brandon, my Monday night flava, but fla- happy. Thanks bunches, J. vor. Pay attention) At the gym I go to, one of I like to play in the snow and drink hot Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) the fitness assistants has become my vege- chocolate. I think it is fun. Now I am even Who would have thought Very sexy people will tear you limb tarian mentor. She has decided that I am her happier. Cantaloupe flavored iced tea would from limb in the near future. new project and she tells me about different My roommate is moving out soon. In make you so successful? Well, me. But I things I should be eating and ways to pre- preparation for the Big Move, she has final- have inside knowledge. pare meals. I had my first “lesson” the other ly cleaned her room. The consensus of the day. I never exactly got to exercise, but I house is that it is irritating that she has wait- was so excited when I left, I just wanted to ed to clean any area of the house until she is go to the store and buy lots of food. Raw moving out and trying to find someone to veggies, salad, white cheese as opposed to sublet her room. The final decision: She is a dye-injected yellow cheese, I was fired up! I whore. End of story. added some really good vegetarian refried beans to some nachos and it was bueno. Jenn Gibson is your Features Editor Bueno! and can be reached at [email protected]. And tomorrow I get to start some super Help her feed her addiction to java and buy cool weight training! Bueno! her coffee at random. She gets little to no Everything is bueno. Moving right sleep and a nice jolt of caffeine does her a along. In a recent philosophy class, Jim world of good. She will be wearing a purple cleared up the confusion a little bit about sweater probably every day until it is April the difference between realism, anti-real- or warm, whichever comes first. Make sure ism, and idealism. I still feel like a complete there is a lot of sugar in it. She thinks ballet idiot in the class, seeing as how my philos- dancers are incredibly sexy. And ophy background is less than bueno, but MBrandon2W, too. Whoever that is. February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 19 Moan Like a Diva from V-DAY, page 16 handled the range of material. At one anothertime by ryan bloom annual benefit performances of “The point they would have the crowd bursting Hitchhiking the Universe Vagina Monologues” and other creative with laughter and the next moment the events on or around Valentine’s Day to Cabaret would grow solemnly quiet. raise awareness of violence against One particularly funny monologue, The cover image is striking funny? It’s funny because we know women and funds for local anti-violence performed by Emily Krohn, was titled enough in and of itself. Before even that Marvin is only a robot and up to groups. This year 656 schools are partic- “The Woman Who Loved to Make the first page is turned, questions are this point in time robots were not tra- ipating and over 1000 benefit events will Vaginas Happy.” The monologue con- already popping up and pulling us in. ditionally thought to be capable of take place worldwide. cerned the different moans women make Why is a hand floating in space with emotions. Therefore, a robot UMBC’s V-Day events included when having an orgasm. From the its thumb sticking out and what in expressing such extreme emotions, showings of Eve Ensler’s original per- machine-gun moan to the diva moan, the the world does that round green thing which we can all in some weird way formance, a healthy relationships work- crowd was laughing uncontrollably with an abnormally large red tongue relate to, becomes doubly as humor- shop, and the live benefit performance. throughout. Memorization and rehearsal and thin pencil arms have to do with ous. The live benefit performance seemed of that scene must have been an interest- anything? This brings up another key qual- to be a complete success with a full ing task. To the faithful, the answer12 is ity contained within Adams’ writing: turnout on Valentine’s Day night . All On the other end of the spectrum, an obvious. It is 42; the answer to life, reality. As odd as it may seem that a proceeds from ticket sales and donations upsetting monologue, performed by the universe and everything. That is, futuristic science-fiction novel went to The House of Ruth. The student Jillian Byrnes, was titled “My Vagina at least, according to Douglas would contain an impressive quality organized and performed benefit featured Was My Village.” The monologue Adams’ widely popular sci-fi come- of realness, these books certainly do Allison Houseworth, Jennifer Evans, described the repeated rape and abuse of dy series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to just that. The humor, although not Jillian Byrnes, Brigitte Pribnow, Emily a woman during the Bosnia and Kosova the Galaxy. 42 is just one of the always literally about real people, Krohn, Katie Sasso, Katie Fraser, and conflict. The vivid and horrifying many jokes contained within the places or events, serves to capture book that has kept British science- the transparent3 nature of allegory. Robert Ulmer with the male response. description left the crowd in silence. 9 The Menstruals, Gedalya Chinn, Peter The performance also included two fiction-comedy fans sniggering at The astute reader can always see that Pugliese, and Robert Ulmer, provided the new community-written monologues, one any who dare to question the impor- there is certainly more to Adams’ music before and at certain times during female and one male. Allison tance of things such as white mice, writing than just what is apparent on the performance. The music was a mix- Houseworth performed her “The Happy towels, Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters the surface. ture of acoustic guitar, hand played Virgin” monologue, and Robert Ulmer and yes, even a fine cup of tea. Finally, Douglas had a great drums, and a didgeridoo (that strange brought an interesting male twist with his First published in the early sense of what makes for an interest- sounding Australian wind instrument). “The Male Response.” 1980s, Adams could never have pre- ing and off-the-wall kind of story. dicted the huge cult success 6his His narratives were never less then Katie Fraser also served as director, At the benefit’s conclusion the crowd and Emily Krohn did double duty as applauded the remarkable range the per- quirky little novel would achieve. entertaining at the very least. Sadly, Assistant Director. All of the actresses formers showed. After a brief hesitation, Soon enough it would spawn four the world was deprived of Mr. (and one actor) wore different red and the crowd filed out knowing a little more more books in the series, a television Adams subtle genius on May 11, black outfits and gave exceptional per- about the pleasures and the atrocities show, several comic books, a com- 2001 when at the all too young age formances. associated with the vagina. Funds were puter game and even a set of trading of 49 Douglas suffered a fatal heart The monologues in “The Vagina raised, awareness was heightened, and cards, not to mention the countless attack. Monologues” range from hilarious to dis- one step closer towards victory over vio- books and articles being written It’s unfortunate that the younger turbing and sad. The performers adeptly lence was taken. about the Hitchhiker novels them- generation just discovering Douglas selves. Adams for the first time will never The concept had obviously taken have the opportunity of eagerly off, but why? What was all the fuss anticipating that new novel or latest about? I believe that the heart and installment in intergalactic excite- soul of Adams’ works lies in their ment. They will never know the joy inescapable stylish humor. The of clutching a brand new Adams books were, and to this day remain, manuscript hot off the presses, but p genuinely funny. All the characters maybe that is truly no worse then t u are well developed in that we think understanding just how much you’re hu we can understand what drives them, really going to miss it. I’d say we’ll S why they are, or, as is sometimes the see you on the other side, but I know and case, are not motivated to do certain you’d never believe that one, so d things. This simple understanding we’ll have to settle with simply say- anc drives the humor that much deeper ing that you did a damn good job and e when it is revealed to the reader. we’ll miss you. ! Every time Marvin drones on Ryan Bloom is going to contact about not wanting to do some task, Douglas Adams on the other side we understand that this is because with his oujia board. If you want to Marvin is both paranoid and a manic join this party, email him at Fish Head depressive as well. How is that [email protected]. Cantina (FormerlyThe FishBowl) $100 Drafts NOW HIRING LIFE- $100 Rail Drinks GUARDS!! Pool Ops., 50¢ Shooters Supervisors.Training avail. Pool tables, video games, american darts, plenty of Free Parking & of course our very own drunken, inco- herent DJ! Top Pay. Flexible. Call Kathy.

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410-247-2474 4802 Benson Ave. (Located in Arbutus) Page 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES February 18, 2003 “Biker Boyz” Rap-Rock

Jives with Hip-Hop get lit: Screw Reality TV; Try Reality MEGHAN BOWEN Back.” Guitar riffs soar and groove with a catchy drum beat baseline in this track produced by The Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Neptunes, whose Chad Hugo and Pharrell On Monday night during my two remain dulled because we’ve experi- Funky seventies beats mixed with electronic, Williams also belong to the hip-hop group and a half hour long History class, our enced pain. rock, and rap rhythms drive the “Biker Boyz” N.E.R.D. teacher paused his lecture for a few min- It’s time to face the facts: “Reality” movie soundtrack, produced by Dreamworks One hip-hop rocker who is surprisingly miss- utes to set up the audio-visual equipment TV isn’t real. The heightened emotions Records, to the realm of audio success. Throbbing, ing from this fantastic array of crossovers and rap for a movie he planned on showing. and constant bickering and hooking up adrenalin-pumped music, like the Crystal Method beats is Kid Rock, who plays “Dogg,” the leader of “I hope this doesn’t take long and he on “The Real World,” the consumption remix of P.O.D.’s song a rival motorcycle gang in the lets us out at 8:55,” my friend hissed of icky bugs and challenge of living in Boom, set the pace for this movie. Recently, Kid has from a desk behind mine, “so I can get the wilderness on a quest for $1,000,000 album. shown his talent for remixing back in time to catch ‘Joe Millionare!’” on “Survivor” is not only unreal, but out- “Who likes a lil rock ‘n’ styles with the song “Picture,” “Oh! Is he picking tonight?” a man played thanks to the offspring of dozens roll mixed with a lil hip hop which he sings with rocker from a few rows ahead of me turned of similar shows. Every woman isn’t a soul? We do!” sing Ja Rule Sheryl Crow. Unfortunately, around to ask. In the seats about me, stu- size six with lusciously long and volumi- and Swizz Beatz in collabora- he did not lend his hip vocals dents began gossiping about the show, nous hair, perfect skin, and perky breasts tion with Metallica for the to this catchy collaborative the contestants, and what dramatic and not every man has a perfect smile hard-rock, rappin’ song “We soundtrack. events would possibly ensue during that with shiny white teeth, six-pack abs, and Did it Again.” This song sets Another musical union night’s episode. My professor turned the a year-round tan. Wake up. These shows the tone for an album that to highlight on this album is video on. Ironically, he was showing us a are feeding on your fantasies and forcing deftly blurs the lines of rap that of Ron Isley of The Isley special about television game show fraud America into another age of conformity, and rock into 15 tracks of Brothers featured with from the 1950’s. It turns out, a majority not where everyone is the same, but head shaking, body quaking Jadakiss for a funky rap break- of televised game shows in the fifties where everyone wants to be the same. music to move to. down with their song “Big were actually hoaxes, with contestants Another breed of reality entertain- Tracks like JrEwng’s Courtesy of allied advertising Business.” The Isleys have con- who had been coached and given scripts. ment seems to have been forgotten by “Renegade,” Redman featuring Bikers Rock: The Biker Boys tinued to rock the charts for the The members of my class who had the American society: non-fiction. Non- E3 with “Ride,” as well as soundtrack mixes it up. last 50 years with favorites like pledged their allegiance to the cult of fiction writing is where a writer shares “Biker Boyz” by Slick Boyz featuring Mr. Murder, “Shout” and “It’s Your Thing,” by collaborating reality television dutifully watched the true events in real peoples’ lifetimes and incorporate sly sirens, motorcycle revvings and tire with modern artists like R.Kelly for the 2001 song screen, but their thoughts were on shares their stories with the world. A squeals into their songs about the two-wheel racing “Contagious.” Ron Isley’s alter-ego Mr. Biggs whether Evan (the “Joe” in “Joe plethora of titles are available on any life. “Burn rubber not your soul,” is the theme pro- shows Jadakiss in 2003 how to woo the ladies with Millionaire”) would pick Zora or Sarah number of subjects that might interest claimed by Redman in “Ride” as well as David the fast and flashy material life. to expose his deep secret to. you. Are you a war buff? Turn off that Ryan Harris in his smooth song “Don’t Look The clever blends of rock, rap, and hip hop While working out on the cardio stupid “Navy Seals” reality show and Down” reminiscent of R.Kelly’s feel-good song “I make the “Biker Boyz” soundtrack a must have for balcony of the RAC the other day, I pick up Philip Caputo’s “A Rumor of Believe I Can Fly.” today’s eclectic music fan and an essential part to caught pieces of a heated conversation War,” written by a Vietnam veteran who Papa Roach and N.E.R.D. also soulfully every fast-car stereo collection. between two women on the exercise was part of a squad accused of merci- beseech youth to prepare themselves in their rock For comments or questions, please email bikes next to me. lessly slaughtering an entire village of anthem track with hip-hop rhythm “Don’t Look [email protected]. “I hope he doesn’t pick that skinny Vietnamese citizens, and the soldiers’ blond,” one huffed to the other. defenses. Into sports? “Running with the “Oh I know, she’s totally wrong for Buffaloes” by Chris Lear reveals the him!” her friend agreed. I assumed they training methods of cross country coach were engaged in a conversation about a Mark Wetmore and the season he lead mutual acquaintance… until I caught the the University of Colorado team to a sea- words “Joe Millionaire” sprinkled son of victory. There are books out there throughout their excited chatter. I dis- you’ve never even heard of that can mounted my bike in disgust and headed change your life in one read, can bring for the weight room. you to tears in one second and make you When “Survivor,” “Temptation laugh the next. Books that can make you Island,” and “The Mole” were entering question your life philosophies on one their second or third seasons on televi- page, and in the next chapter, make you sion, the United States had been hit hard feel so emotional that you want to put it by a devastating terrorist attack. The down… and you just can’t. American people spent weeks with their Part of what makes life so unique is televisions blasting them with grim and that each of us are different people, brutal images of a grieving country, inside and out. All the cosmic surgery, shaking the foundation of a country that tanning beds and hair color in the world had once felt so secure in its safety from can’t change who you are inside. Stop terror. Reality television provided us allowing yourselves to dwell in a society with an escape from “Reality,” a place where you listen to the same top-40 where bad things happened to innocent music, read the same magazines and people. The conflicts on reality TV are so watch the same television shows week harmless, so mundane, that it’s easy to after week. Start living for yourself and come home from work or class, kick off find something that no one else is into. I your shoes, and watch people like you guarantee you’ll at least learn more than and I try to make it in the big time on you do watching “Joe Millionaire.” “American Idol.” These shows numbed our minds when we needed diversion Brett McKenzie likes to dwell in the from the sadness around us. But ours is real world, not the “Real World.: She not a society whose sense should forever can be reached at [email protected]. trw.umbc.edu February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 21 When I Grow Up By:Allison Houseworth Shoestring Budget Gourmet

¡ By Chef Steph By this point in your college career, Steak Marinade Id, Ego, Super Ego you have doubtless discovered the joys and wonder of hard liquor. It tastes good, •1 an onion, finely chopped Id, Ego and Super-Ego (i.e. You) same thing over and over again, waiting makes art history seem interesting, and •2 cloves garlic walk into the Commons. Id wants to until May 22 when someone might serves as a hell of an industrial cleaner. •2 tbsps lemon juice sleep with That Cute Blonde Who finally see them and let them do what This blessed substance can also be •1 cup of Worcestershire sauce Lives in Your Building. Super-Ego says they want to do. used for cooking, should you have any left •2 shots of whiskey you shouldn’t. Ego goes to class to dis- In a chair on a split-level of the after last weekend’s bender. People sauté tract itself from this conflict. Within Commons while eating tortellini, Id, things in wine, add beer to chili and dump Saute the onion and garlic in a little The Loop our alternate states of con- Ego and Super-Ego fight. Super-Ego whiskey into just about everything. bit of olive oil until the onions are soft sciousness are in full upheaval. says you should be looking for a job. Though I’ve been known to spike the and clear. Mix remaining ingredients in a Three months and counting. Should be doing readings for class. occasional soup or sauce, more often than medium sized bowl, add the garlic and Graduation. And no one wants you. No Should be more serious, more driven, not, it’s my meat I like to get drunk. Meat onions and whisk. one. concerned about politics and your art, marinated in alcohol is more tender, more There are SEB signs posted all your career and future. You push a flavorful and easier to take advantage of. Lemon Margarita Marinade around campus looking for people who tortellini around a plate of tasteless Though marinades are a practically (for chicken or fish) want to “make money and meet famous marinara sauce with your black plastic idiot-proof way to season meat, there are a people too.” No job could be more per- fork. couple of things you should keep in mind. •1 cup lime juice fect. You waltz into their office and Id is feisty. Id wants to play. Id First, it is imperative that you poke the meat •2 shots good tequila they tell you, “Oh, you’re graduating, wants. Id wants that guy, and that girl. in question several times on both sides with •2 tbsps lemon juice you can’t do this.” Or desk staff. They Id wants to be crazy. Id wants to use the a fork, so the marinade has access to its cen- •salt to taste don’t want to hire you for desk staff next three months as an excuse. To party ter. It is also a good idea to either submerge because you’re graduating. You can’t (“you shouldn’t,” whispers Super-Ego). your meat in marinade, or to store it in a Basically, make yourself a margari- re-contract your closet-sized dorm Id wants to walk around for the next sealed container that is easy to turn over in ta, sans ice in a bowl. Whisk in the room; you can’t be a Woolie, you can’t three months in a tight, see-through order to ensure even distribution. Finally, the lemon juice and the salt. You can also run for SGA office, what’s the point of extraordinary white mesh Freudian Slip. longer you allow a piece of meat to mari- use this marinade to flavor rice. When joining another honors society, of And high heels. Id wants to be sexy. In nate, the better it gets: within reason. It is a preparing slow cook rice, simply studying abroad this summer, of find- public. You take a bite of the tortellini. catastrophically poor idea to serve a piece of replace some or all of the water with ing interest in a new major? “Oral phase!” screams Id. chicken that’s been hanging out in your marinade. You meet a wonderful guy who is Enter Ego. Ego eats. Ego drinks fridge for over a month. You marinate meat apprehensive about getting involved coffee. Ego goes to class. Ego gets in order to flavor and tenderize it, not so you Chef Steph eats meat sometimes, but with you because “what will happen drunk. Ego talks routinely to friends. can grow expansive colonies of pretty mold. only if there is an alcohol marinade after May?” You hold the phone in your Ego wants to forget. Ego floats between With that in mind, limit yourself to time peri- involved. Email her at hands, dumbfounded and just mutter “shoulds” and “wants.” ods of 12 to 72 hours. [email protected] “OK” and hang up. There is nothing For the next three months Ego will you can do. Maybe he wasn’t the right exist in its alternate state of conscious- guy. ness. Everyone has repressed Id and Or the other one! Fun, lovely guy Super-Ego. They are aching to escape. who can tap into your Id and provide You’re tired of the continuous buzzing you with nothing but pleasure and around you. Things aren’t a routine, laughter for at least three months. But they are a habit. You’re like a puppet. they tell you, on IM, that they can’t. You can walk to math/psych with your “WHY?!?!” you type, all of you frus- eyes closed. You want new food, new trations pounded into Gateway w’s and parties, new people to play with. Id is y’s. “Because it would hurt too much to not allowed to wear its Freudian Slip in let you go. You’re graduating.” public, so you float. Float through Id, Ego and Super-Ego walk into February to May waiting for those the Commons to escape the blustering moments (few and far between) when Id wind. There are hundreds of people and Super-Ego get their turn to shine. around. Id, Ego and Super-Ego see Waiting until May 22 when maybe, none of them. Id, Ego and Super-Ego finally, you will have your turn again. get a cup of coffee (they chant: “I When I grow up I will have a pret- WANT coffee” “You shouldn’t have ty piece of paper framed nicely in a coffee” “Just get the damn cup of cof- “University of Maryland Baltimore fee and forget it, ok?”). Id, Ego and County” frame that I can look at and Super-Ego go to class, get lunch, talk to think about how my ego became strong, friends, watch people. Id, Ego and and every once in a while I slipped into Super-Ego do nothing. No one lets something extraordinary. them do anything. Id, Ego and Super- Ego will go to the Commons every day Listen to your Id. Email Alli at for the next three months doing the [email protected] Page 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES February 18, 2003 Kate Hudson Tries to “Lose a Guy in Ten Days”

JOHN FRANCE country. Benjamin, on the other hand, is in enjoyed “Sweet Home Alabama” or Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff the advertising business, looking to break “You’ve Got Mail”. This movie has the out of marketing mundane products like same light overtone and the overall ‘feel That once magical girl who swept you beer and athletic equipment. Benjamin is in good’ sensation contained within those two. off your feet and caused your heart to skip a luck, for his boss is willing to give him such My lady companion seemed to really enjoy beat is currently driving you absolutely an opportunity. However there is just one the scene with McConaughey walking nuts. She calls you all hours of the day, is slight catch: the motorcycle driving mar- around minus his shirt and the 22-year old dictating to you what you can and can’t eat keter must show up to a party in ten days Hudson is quite cute and possesses Goldie and has even crafted pictures of the kids the with a woman who loves him. Meanwhile, Hawn’s charm, which shouldn’t be surpris- two of you will one day create. Is she a few Andie has been handed her latest assign- ing, considering they are, after all, mother ounces short of a full cup? Perhaps, ment; hook up with a guy, drive him away and daughter. The poker table blowup is although you could in actuality be a pawn in in ten days and write a story about it. In a unforgettable, along with the couple’s ther- a farce construed by her boss in an attempt twist of fate, the pair happens to bump into apy secession. There is even a high speed to sell more women’s magazines. each other that very night and so their saga chase as McConaughey swerves his motor- “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” is the begins with each playing the other. cycle around traffic, but it’s nowhere near latest in the line of the romantic comedy Complicated? Hardly, as the storyline the level of action found in “The Fast and genre to hit the big screen. This adventure is very predictable from beginning to end the Furious.” centers around a universe inhabited by leaving room for few if any surprises. Thus The bottom line is, this movie is total- Courtesy of Paramont Pictures Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) and don’t be surprised if you find yourself whis- ly a chick flick, though guys might care to So sappy it sticks: Kate Hudson and Benjamin Berry (Matthew McConaughey). pering to the person next to you, what the see it, just so they can know when their girl- Matthew McConaughey try not to fall in Andie is a writer for “Composure,” the upcoming scene will entail. Nonetheless, friend is trying to get rid of them or if they love in another typical romantic comedy. fastest growing women’s magazine in the the movie is certainly worth seeing if you should start browsing the news stands. Meet Matt McConaughey ship sailing. There’s not room for it to from STORY, page 16 dive off into something deep or dramatic. you agree with that? You want the romantic comedy to have a MM: Uhm, no, I don’t know if we little bit of pertinence where you can go necessarily like them all, but you know see it and come out and have something to what, there’s a lot of those that women are talk about, but romantic comedies aren’t going to do anyway, so if women were all recreating the wheel. If I sit there and say, too much like us and we were all too “Hey, we get together at the end of the much like them then I guess we’d all be movie,” I’m really not giving away a big bored. No, you know, it’s inevitable. secret. You know that’s gonna happen Women are going to do some of those and with a romantic comedy and the fun is we have our own things that we do that just watching the two people go at it. drive them a little bit crazy, but we can RB: What do you think is some of keep it to a minimum, huh. your best work so far? RB: What’s a sure-fire way to get MM: There’s times where I feel like someone to run away? Maybe something I’ve hit it square, I mean right on the from the movie or personally? wood man, boom, just pure. There are MM: Lie. That’s it. other times where I go, “Okay, you fouled RB: What do you think about the fact that one off.” “Dazed and Confused” was that you’re an object of physical attrac- the first thing I ever did and there was a tion for so many women; I think I got ten great innocence about going in there. It calls this morning from every woman I was really fun to inhabit that guy and hear know. some of the coolest compliments I’ve MM: That’s cool. Right on. I guess ever heard…when someone comes up and that’s how I feel. goes, “Oh, man I know that guy.” That RB: Do you think you could make a was a great start. Since “Ed TV” I think girl fall in love with you in ten days? I’m a lot more conscious of what I’m MM: I’m not one to put a timeline doing and I think I’m doing better work on something like that, that’s for sure, acting wise. but I would say obviously the best ver- RB: Who’s your dream co-star? sion to finding anyone, not just for them, MM: You know what, you know who but for you yourself, is to be yourself. I want to work with is Tom Hanks. He’s a Very simple, it’s been said a thousand funny smart guy and I see something times. It starts off so great, it’s that great down the line there. And Susan Sarandon. courtship period, you know, you want to RB: In a previous interview you said be inside the skin of that other person that you didn’t want to date girls any- for every second. It’s really unreason- more, but you wanted to start dating able to think that you can maintain that women? throughout a relationship because I MM: No no, I said, “I like women think we all have a tendency on the more than I like girls,” but there’s a sec- romantic level to, think of a relation- ond part of that. The thing is that a girl ship, that courtship period, like it’s a can’t be a woman, but a woman can still 1500 watt bulb when in reality a 120 be a girl. Chronologically you grow up watt bulb’s a little more realistic. You and you’re a girl, right? Then you become know if you can maintain that and have a woman. Well you’ve already been a girl, a good partner and say, “Hey, it ain’t right? So if you’re a woman you can still always gonna be easy, but I’d rather do be a girl because you’ve already been one, it with you than anyone else,” fair play, but if you’ve never been a woman, which but I’d say that’s kind of a backhanded a girl, you’re young, you haven’t, then answer to your question. you can’t be a woman because you RB: You’ve played in both comedies haven’t become one yet. It adds up. It’s and dramas; which do you prefer? the same thing about men and boys. MM: It matters where I am and RB: What would you say to someone when, I mean in my life. I really like the who wants to get into the film industry? dramas, but I also look at comedies more MM: There are no ‘help wanted’ as like a weekend character. They’re fun, signs. The guards at the gates are not to they’re light. Part of the work is to keep keep you in; they’re to keep you out. Take buoyant, keep the song singing, keep the risks. February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 23

ProsoPOP!eia

All That and A Bag...... by R. Eric Thomas

So, basically, what I need is a a book to read on the long subway man-purse. There’s really no right down the island. True, you alternative. My messenger bags could stuff all of this in a briefcase are too big (and filled, always, or business satchel, but those sort with messages) and my pockets of things get unwieldy as the day are too small. In these cosmopoli- gets longer and more casual. It’s in Courtesy of alliedadvertisment tan times, it’s impossible to leave these instances that you, maybe Special Delivery: Playboy LL Cool J reveals his Prince Charming side just in time the house without a battery of just a little, envy the woman across for Valentine’s Day in the new romantic comedy “Deliver Us from Eva.” equipment to help you live your the subway car who seems to have life. Even the simplest trip to everything she could possibly class and lunch requires cell need—from eyeliner to a stapler— “Eva” Delivers for V-Day phones, cell phone chargers, in a square little Kate Spade bag PDAs, MP3 players, pain killers, that fits on her lap. SHIRLEY LONG making their decisions for them. The men con- teeth whitening strips, sunglasses, But men, men cannot carry Retriever Weekly Staff Writer stantly refer to her as “the sister-in-law from money, ID cards, credit cards, purses, not according to popular hell” or “the E-word.” debit cards, playing cards, and culture. Men need to learn to find Once upon a time, there were three After one incident where Eva throws business cards. How can the mod- ways of stuffing their pants with men—Tim, Michael, and Darrell. Each of them out of Mike’s own living room so she ern man keep up? When society everything they need, shoplifters in those three men fell in love with one of the can have a book club meeting, the men decide tells us we need the equivalent of their own closets. Pop culture says Dandridge sisters, the most beautiful women in to finally do something. They hire Ray (LL a small Radio Shack on us at all that if you’re carrying a man- the land. Tim married Kareenah Dandridge, Cool J, aka James Todd Smith; “Rollerball”), times, but doesn’t give a clue as to purse, you’re probably gay. And Michael wed Bethany Dandridge, and Darrell a player who bounces from job to job and city where to wear it, we must come not just a little gay. To wit, the first went steady with Jaqui Dandridge. But there to city, to take Eva out on a date. The plan is up with a solution. Enter the man- person I ever saw carrying a man- was one problem—Eva, the oldest of the to make Eva fall for him and then, when he purse. purse was RuPaul. Dandridge sisters who had every one of her moves, she’ll go with him and he can dump Pockets are no longer good But what’s so gay about a siblings tightly under her thumb. The solu- her. Meanwhile, Eva gets a once in a lifetime enough. Even as cell phones man-purse? One can change the tion—find Eva her own Prince Charming to job offer that would take her to Chicago and shrink to astounding sizes, the name, if that’s the problem. You get her out of the way so everyone can live away from her sisters. She’s reluctant to take sheer number of things one must could call it a Testosterone Tote or happily ever after. Sound like a fairy tale? Not it for that very reason, but is still considering carry makes the difference all but a Scrotum Sack. Whatever makes quite. It’s the premise for Gary Hardwick’s it when Ray comes into her life. After a few unnoticeable. Going out and buy- you happy. Because, truth be told, (“The Brothers”) latest film, “Deliver Us From stormy dates, the two eventually hit it off and, ing the teeny-tiny new Nokia man-purses aren’t actually gay. It’s Eva” (### stars). surprise surprise, the player falls in love, doesn’t do anything but give your a little known fact, but inanimate In the film, the situation is much more which is against “the rules.” Not to mention Palm Pilot room to breath. Even if objects can’t be gay. Who knew? A complex than any fairy tale you might read. the fact that Ray’s presence is only making our pockets could hold it all— partial list of inanimate objects Tim (Mel Jackson, “Soul Food”), a blue collar things worse for them at home, because all keys, wallets, cards, Electronic often perceived to be gay that are, businessman, and Kareenah (“Half and Half’s” their girls want to talk about is “Ray and Boutique—who would want to? in fact, not at all: Spongebob Essence Atkins), a doctor, are trying to decide Eva”. This means the men have to come up And who wants to jingle when Squarepants, the number 8, Ernie, whether or not it’s time to start a family. Mike with a plan B... they walk? Somehow I don’t think David Guest. (Duane Martin, “Woo”), a police man, and Overall, “Deliver Us From Eva” is a the line, “Is that a laptop in your Of course, to every rule, there Bethany (Robinne Lee, “National Security”), a warm, romantic movie with lots of strong pocket or are you happy to see are exceptions. Some inanimate beauty shop owner, want to have more time to comedic moments. The acting, while occa- me?” will ever catch on. objects that are, in fact, gay: themselves. Darrell (Dartanyan Edwards, sionally a tad over the top, is excellent, espe- What is a man to do? Abercrombie & Fitch, “Like a “Woo”), a postal worker, wants girlfriend Jaqui cially by the principals. As for the plot, it Naturally, there’s always the Prayer,” Bert, Lance Bass. (Meagan Goode, “Biker Boyz”), a full time came off as somewhat simplistic, yet was bookbag/messenger bag option. Now, when I say gay, I mean college student on scholarship, to move in complex and compelling enough to hold my But one never sees, say, 007 with homosexual not lame. A lot of peo- with him. They all have one problem in com- interest for 105 minutes. I probably wouldn’t a huge satchel slung over his ple use the word gay to mean lame, mon—sister-in-law Eva (Gabrielle Union, see this one in theatres again by myself, but it shoulder. And besides, sometimes but they are assholes. That’s like “Bring It On”), an uptight health inspector who would definitely top my list of potential date one finds oneself in that middle saying something is so Chinese and constantly provides her sisters with facts and movies (if only…). However, this is one film ground where the stuff you need meaning, I don’t know, fast. Is it statistics about relationships (although she’s I would definitely buy on DVD, without the to carry is too much to stuff into slang, is it a colloquialism? No, only been in one herself) and is, in essence, pre-purchase rental. your pockets, but too little to jus- you’re just misusing the word. tify carrying a bookbag. Say But that’s neither here nor you’re a handsome young cos- there. The point is, no matter how mopolite, living in New York lame a man-purse may or may not City, heading down to a job inter- be, it’s not gay. But the boundaries view and then catching the N/R to of our society aren’t flexible Brooklyn to meet a friend for enough to accept that just yet. lunch and a movie. You’ve got on We’re still at a point where we’ll a shirt and tie, but you’ll want to choose inconvenience over func- at least take off the tie for lunch, tionality simple to preserve age-old if not change the shirt as well. notions of manhood or what-have- And you’ll need your cell in case you. And that’s a shame. Because plans change. Of course, you this wallet bulge is ruining the look should carry a resume, and a of my ass. brush and mirror to make your best impression. You’ll need Better living through pop cul- money, cash or credit, and maybe ture: [email protected] Page 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES February 18, 2003

Beginning [Feb. 19] Events Happening Throughout Incidentally... the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus Beginning [Feb. 19] Wednesday, February 19 bring back the 80s, with support from B- A Time to Jam more’s own disturbers of the peace, the “And Still I Rise” some of the campus’ best DJs. 9 p.m. to British singer-songwriter Paul Weller Oxes, whose crazy stage antics are well In recognition of Black History Month, midnight, Commons Cabaret brings his heavy soul to D.C. for a cool known. Tone is on hand as well, at the 9:30 the Women’s Center will be showing show. He’s been rockin’ since the late Club in Washington. Tickets.com this remarkable film all day long in Friday, February 21 ‘70s, and he always has something con- RAC 226. All are welcome and encour- Roll Out the Bowl, We’ll Have a Bowl troversial to say; don’t miss your chance Sunday, February 23 aged to stop by to see it. Showing times of Fun to hear him tonight at the 9:30 Club, Cheaper than Thought Possible! are as follows: 1 p.m.. 2 p.m., 3 p.m., 4 The South Asian Students Association joined by Fiction Plane and Sebastian A little light in the pocket after tuition p.m., and 5 p.m. presents a night of fun with friends and Rogers. Tickets? Tickets.com! increases, high gas prices, etc.? Then violence against pins! Route 40’s check out DC 101’s $1.01 show, which Wednesday, February 19 Normandy Lanes plays host as the club Friday, February 21 features talented Arkansas-based band I’ve Missed You, Clarice rents the place out the promises to rock Local Yokels! Evanescence, The Blank Theory and See if you can follow this: this movie is and bowl. Contact Rajat at New to the area? Then you gotta check Carbondale. It all goes down at that bas- the prequel to the movie they just made [email protected] with questions. 8 p.m. out two of the biggest bands in town, tion of coolness, the 9:30 Club; a sequel out of, but not a sequel to the Jimmie’s Chicken Shack and Jepetto. tickets.com is the place to unload that movie that it shares its title and plot LUDA! What? You live in Baltimore and still buck and a cent. with, nor is it a remake. Red Dragon, In case you’ve been living under a haven’t heard them play live? C’mon, starring Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal rock and/or have not taken your eyes this is your chance, at The Recher Monday, February 24 Lecter and Edward Norton as Jodie off the floor while walking through Theatre in Towson. The show starts with A Quartet of Rock Foster, is a lot of things, but chronolog- the Commons, we just wanted to let Gold Mind Squad at 8, after which pup- A few bands you might have heard of, a ically-sensical it is not. Still, if it’s you know that Ludacris, the mouf of pets will become real boys and chickens few maybe you haven’t: Home Grown thrills and chills you’re looking for, you the South, will be performing live at will be de-feathered. TM* headlines tonight’s show at the 9:30 need look no further than America’s the RAC tonight. Of course, if it’s Club, also featuring Riddlin’ Kids, All- favorite cannibal. 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m., really tonight when you read this, Everybody’s Surfin’ Now American Rejects (whose “Swing, Wed. and Thurs., Lecture Hall Three. chances are there won’t be tickets left, Yeah, “Popular” was Nada Surf’s big hit Swing” is tearing up the chart) and last so get ‘em while they’re hot. Tickets back in the mid-90s, but these guys have but not least, Wakefield. Doors open The Venga Bus Is Jumping are $20 for UMBC students, $25 for more to offer than just one song. Don’t early: at 7 p.m. and tickets (from tick- Thursday, February 20 all others and are available at the take my word for it; go check out their ets.com) are just $12. The monthly drum-n-bass night makes a Commons Information Desk or via Weezerish crunchy sound, featuring rumbling return to the Cabaret tonight. Ticketmaster. 7:30 p.m., Retriever tunes from their new CD released this *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481-SEAT; Sponsored by Commons Programming, Activities Center. month. Fletchers Bar & Grill in www.ticketmaster.com this event will feature the floor-thump- Baltimore is the locale. TM* ing sounds and razor-sharp mixes of -R. Eric Thomas, part-time superhero Got an upcoming area event? Outlaw Rock Email [email protected] (min. 2 weeks Old-school indie punks Mission of Burma, notice). February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 25

Weekly Crossword Clues

Across 6 Pouring phrase 1 Holy wars 7 ___ tower (academia) 7 Fails to make it on time 8 Titled Englishmen 13 First words in a bratty sentence 9 Person who goes his own way 14 Midori’s instrument 10 “Aladdin” prince 15 Time for school 11 Element number 50 17 Ford role 12 College subj. 18 Lower-quality 16 Bovine bloviating 19 Hi on the high seas 19 Shows 20 Life’s tribulations 21 R.E.M.’s “The ___ Love” 24 They come out 365 times a year 22 Feminine suffix 28 “Death Be Not Proud” poet 23 Seal in a steak’s juices 29 Monica Lewinsky was one 24 “Thank You” singer sampled by 30 Slain Tejana songstress Eminem 31 School loans and credit card bal- 25 Once again ances 26 “What’ll ___?” 32 More loopy 27 “I don’t want to play anymore” 33 Has to pay 28 Dict. entries 34 Paths to travel 30 Goes along 35 Campus courtyards 32 Crazy art movement 37 “See ya!” 34 Enters the water 41 Time for fun 36 One of Pakistan’s official lan- 45 Go into ___ (start slumping) guages 46 Irish woman’s name 37 J or blank, in Scrabble 47 Arizona sight 38 Word after teen 48 Canned heat for campers 39 Not now Down 40 ___ time (never) 1 Hendrix on guitar 41 ___ fly 2 Victorious pronouncement 42 Simile words 3 It’s given to good performers 43 R&B group the late Lisa “Left 4 Garcia or Dick Eye” Lopes belonged to 5 Test stuff 44 College hoops event: abbr. Classic Tunes from A Young Set of Pipes

R. ERIC THOMAS some selections on the album. Have two gen- Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff erations of Wayne Newton spoiled these songs permanently? Perhaps. If nothing else, Michael Bublé, the 25- What does more damage, however, is the year old Reprise Records artist who has just bouncy arrangement of the majority of the released his debut album, is earnest. In deliv- songs. Big on huge horn sections, steady ery, in liner notes, in song choice, in tone, he rockin’ drums and trumpet solos, much of the is, above all, extremely earnest. Celine Dion album sounds like it was conducted by Sammy earnest. But one wonders whether an album Davis, Jr., which takes away from Bublé’s full of good intentions is enough to propel this smooth, confident vocals and subtly unique fellow Canuck, who sounds like a mix of interpretations. To wit, his voice was made for Frank Sinatra and Harry Connick, Jr. (if that’s the Sinatra standard “Come Fly With Me,” but not redundant) and has released a disc of 13 an overzealous orchestra drowns out the young “classic pop” songs, to stardom. singer, producing a far inferior track. Truth be told, the world was not clamor- Still, as has often been the case with that ing for a new interpretation of “How Can You other Canadian (now, coincidentally, selling Mend a Broken Heart” or “Put Your Head On her soul to Vegas) Bublé’s good intentions and My Shoulder,” but that seemed to be of no con- talent wrest a good number of the tracks on sequence for earnest young Bublé (pro- this album from the stone-cold grip of their nounced “Boo-blay”) who attacks even the original artists—no small feat—and the equal- most well-tread territory with gusto and an ly fervent grip of his orchestra’s conductor. attractive rococo swagger. In fact, conceptual- “Fever,” which has had more lives than ly, this album should work perfectly. It’s rare to Shirley Maclaine, sounds new and sexy here. find a young artist who so effortlessly commits “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like himself to the music he sings or whose voice Mine,” the Lou Rawls standard, is similarly seems as tailored for the tunes he’s picked as revived. The closing track, “That’s All,” is by Bublé’s does. But nevertheless something is far the best on the album, allowing Bublé a missing from this well-intentioned album, and chance to romance the audience at his own it’s not just the last 30 years of music history. speed and volume. Produced by classic songster Paul Anka The young singer has a rich and versatile and infused with a swinging bossa nova beat, voice and any album that can combine Sinatra Bublé’s eponymous album is as bright and with George Michael’s “Kissing a Fool” and chipper as the well-coifed Canadian appears the Bee Gees is worth a listen. One is remind- to be, but that quality wears thin on tracks like ed of Verve artist Diana Krall, who has carved “For Once In My Life” and “Summer Wind,” a career out of mixing her remarkable sound reminding less of Ol’ Blue Eyes’ and more of with classic songs given new life through his old stomping grounds—Las Vegas. One interpretation. Bublé would be wise to follow half expects a scantily clad, sequined chorus to her example, channeling his earnestness into come streaming from the speakers during something even more winning—originality.

February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY Page 26 Sports Women’s Basketball Continues This Week in Sports to Climb in the Standings Baseball Feb. 21-23 at William and Mary Lady Retrievers Dominate Robert Morris to Pick Up 57-40 The baseball season kicks off with a weekend road trip to Virginia.

Men’s Basketball Feb. 20 at Sacred Heart 7:30p.m. The Retrievers will look to end a six game losing streak as they travel to Sacred Heart for a conference match up. Sacred Heart is last in the NEC with a record of 3-10. Feb. 22 at Wagner 4p.m. The men’s week concludes in New York with a game against Wagner that will be televised on MSG-TV. UMBC pits its 4-10 record against first place Wagner, who is at 10-2.

Women’s Basketball Feb. 22 at Wagner 12:30p.m. The fifth place Lady Retrievers look to strengthen their NEC posi- tion against a seventh place Wagner team that lost its last game. The top eight qualify for the NEC tournament. Feb. 22 at Sacred Heart 7:30p.m. Sacred Heart is 7-5 in the NEC and is in fourth place just a half game ahead of UMBC. This important match up will help decide some seeding issues in the tournament. Men’s LAX Feb. 22 Mt. St. Mary’s at the UMBC Stadium 1p.m. This is the first game for the UMBC squad. A rough winter has made preseason preparation tough, so the team will be looking to avoid rust and get out of the gate well. David Landgren / Retriever Weekly Staff Dominating Dawgs: The Lady Retriever basketball team dominated the Robert Morris Colonials. Women’s LAX Feb. 23 at Duke 12p.m. JOHN FRANCE Brown made a full court pass to It’s going to be nice when she Duke will provide a difficult first game opponent for the Lady Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Johnson, who cut in for a lay hits four to five shots in a row Retrievers. Last season the team made it to the NCAA tournament up, which forced a Robert and it’s going to be hard when but lost in the first round. They will hope to improve that result this Senior Millette Green won Morris timeout. However, the she misses four to five shots in campaign. the opening jump ball for Colonials failed to regroup and a row and tonight she did a lit- UMBC, allowing senior the half ended with the Dawgs tle of both, but she shot the ball Softball up 13 points. Shalayna Johnson to hit the real well in the first half and Feb. 18 Howard at the UMBC softball field 1:30p.m. “We turned the ball over a mark with a two-pointer 15 sec- helped us extend the lead.” Field conditions permitting, the softball team will open its little too much in the second onds into the confrontation Against the Central 2003 season at home against Howard University. against Robert Morris. Green half. But luckily we had a lead Connecticut State Blue Devils, then caused a turnover to halt and we were still controlling UMBC picked up a 65-47 win Feb. 21-23 at U. of North Carolina – Wilmington the Colonials’ follow-up strike the tempo,” stated Stern. “They over their hosts. Johnson had 16 The team travels south to participate in the Seahawk Classic. and ended the run with a lay up, came out and pressed us a little points in that contest. Other participants include Coppin State, UNC-Wilmington, giving the Lady Retrievers a 4- bit and we got some easy looks Sophomore Christine Hampton, Gardener – Webb, and Coastal Carolina. 0 lead, paving the way for an and missed some easy shots. I Catalanotto managed 13 points Men’s Tennis eventual 57-40 win over the thought for the most part we and Brown chipped in 12 points. Lady Colonials. “We had a controlled the game and we did “The good thing is we’re getting Feb. 23 at Army TBA great first half,”said head coach what we had to do to get the 7- better every time we play and The UMBC squad travels to West Point in New York to com- Phil Stern. “We did what we 6 in the conference.” that’s real important and we pete against Army along with the University of Connecticut. needed to do defensively. We The Lady Colonials closed want to peak around early played their sets pretty well and the gap to seven points by March. We’ve showed we can we came out with some emo- 11:46 in the second half. play with just about anyone in tion and some intensity, which However a Johnson two-pointer the league,” Stern commented. we needed to do to take care of off a rebound from senior co- Sitting in fifth place in the business early against them. We captain Tiffany Coll ignited NEC, the Lady Retrievers head write controlled the tempo. We did a another spark for the Retrievers to NY on Feb. 22, to battle the nice job of running our offense. which carried them on through Wagner Seahawks. The Dawgs We only turned it over three to victory. “Millete played a then journey to Conn.ecticut to real nice game tonight. She did- times in the first half and we face the Sacred Heart Pioneers r shot well, so when you do those n’t do a great job on the foul on Feb. 24 before coming back line, but we wanted to go to her home to meet the Quinnipiac o things you’re going to be in SPORf TS control of the game. We had a with the ball inside and get Bobcats on March 1, at 4 p.m. rebound advantage to, which is some easy hoops that way and and the Central Connecticut unusual for us.” it worked,” said Stern. State Blue Devils on March 3, at Senior co-captain Jessie “Shalayna is instant offense. 7 p.m.. x51260 Page 27 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS February 18, 2003

Spring Season Preview: Baseball by Brett McKenzie Recently elected team captains, seniors look to improve on his work behind the (in the fall for Wildasin and last season for Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Chris Yetter (pitcher/outfield), Scott plate. Boyd, who graduated last spring, led Clark) when they weren’t on the mound. Kosmicky (catcher), and Brad Glascock the NCAA in doubles for a majority of his Clark filled in as designated hitter last Snow may be falling on Alumni Field (third base) were part of the 2001 Retriever senior season, and batted .404. The loss of spring and produced surprising results but in less than three weeks, the men of squad that faced East Carolina and seniors Boyd, John Shuler (All-NEC cen- while Wildasin showed that he had some UMBC baseball will reclaim the diamond Winthrop in the NCAA tournament two terfielder), power-hitter and first baseman fielding talent this fall and could find him- as their own in the first home game of their seasons ago. His sophomore year, Greg DeBoy, and junior Rick Guarno (who self at first base. Jank’s bullpen is certainly 2003 season. Last season, the team made an Kosmicky proved to be a powerful offen- transferred to University of Arkansas this deep enough. impressive 20-7 run (32-24 overall) in the sive threat, batting .390 in 51 starts. This year) will create the need for several Junior Matt Farina (2-4 last season) is Northeast Conference, and came only season, he is looking to overcome the strug- UMBC players to come up big at bat. ready to work for a consistent spot in the innings away from an NCAA berth at the gles he faced last season and finish his col- Members of this year’s freshmen class pitching rotation. Also fighting for time on NEC tournament in New Jersey. legiate career as a consistent contributing could be the ones to answer that call. Isaac the mound will be junior Mike Johnson, The question on everyone’s minds: hitter in this Retriever squad. This year, Friedel has tremendous hitting potential sophomores Mike Keller and Mark how can the team that lost four of its most Kos will work closely with freshmen Mike and will likely take over second base from Maydak. consistent and decorated players from last Brown and Jake Bennof, hopefuls for the Carpenter. Jancuska may also work fresh- On Friday, the team will travel to year expect to see the same results? catcher’s spot next season. men Chris Parker and Brandon Rice into Virginia to open their season in three games Head coach John Jancuska will have Yetter saw time on the mound and in the starting line-up. against William and Mary. Then on March his hands full trying to fill crucial positions the field in 2002, earning two wins and bat- Designated hitters junior Chris Becraft 1, the Retrievers will take on SUNY- at shortstop, center field, and first base, but ting .405 in 42 at-bats. He is an all-around and senior Derek Fritz have worked to hone Albany in the first home series of the sea- this season, he can count on his talented solid player who will no doubt make his their batting skills and should see more son. pitching staff to back him up. last season at UMBC his very best. game time. Junior transfer students Kevin Last season, rookies Zach Clark, Eric Glascock came up big last season, driving Brooks and Jack Safron are flexible fielders Butkiewicz and Kyle Wildasin joined in 54 runs, five home runs and batting .317 who will fight for a look from Jancuska. forces with southpaw Joe Wilson (a transfer to earn All-NEC first team honors. He is Sophomores Rich Northrup, Kevin student athlete) to combine for 28 wins and also a valuable asset in the field, and Magaw, Mike Orlando, and Jay Long will three saves. Now, with a competitive sea- remains at third base this season. work to see some more time this season. son under their belts, the sophomores will Junior Dan Carpenter may be the man Orlando is quick and could be an asset in be looked upon to produce impressive to fill Jared Boyd’s void at short stop. “I the outfield, where Long may also find results. As a sophomore, Wilson posted a think that Carpenter is going to have a big himself this season. “Long is going to step 2.26 ERA and an impressive 9-3 record on year,” teammate Chris Becraft remarked. it up... he had an especially good fall,” the season. This year, the junior southpaw “His swing has been looking really good Becraft said. Northrup and Magaw will be looks to resume his role on the mound, lately, [he’s been] working hard on it.” needed to step up as utility players, but armed with a fastball that peaks around 90 Despite some troubles at bat last season, could easily find themselves in more con- mph. Freshmen Bo Sauter (a lefty who led Carpenter is a talented fielder and Jancuska sistent roles as the season begins. his high school team to win the Maryland will look for his former second baseman to Jancuska may not have to search too State Championship last season) and Tom step up at the plate as well. Senior Joe far to find a man to fill the hole at first base: Bellenger (a righty with tremendous speed) Muscillo, sidelined for part of last season the answer could be hiding in his bullpen. will round out the top of Jancuska’s pitch- with illness, could show off his fielding tal- Sophomores Clark and Wildasin got an ing rotation. ents at center field this season and will also opportunity to show their defensive stuff File Photos / Retriever Weekly Staff Athleteof theWeek: Kareem Washington by John France In a season that finds a young him and he’s man- goals and assists. Mary’s Mountaineers, to put the Dawgs Retriever squad struggling in the midst of aged to deliver,” The junior guard is on a season record three game winning intense Northeast Conference action, Sullivan stated. also second on the streak. Kareem Washington has stepped up to Washington held team in the In high school, Washington led his become the leader of the Dawg pack. onto the high scor- rebound depart- team to a record 26 victories and was a “Right now he has to step up into the sole er position for an ment. state tournament MVP. His freshmen year leadership position because Justin impressive five Washington is with the Dawgs he played in all 29 [Wilson] is now out for the season after game streak from the only member games, averaging 14.4 minutes per con- the Quinnipiac game,” commented Jan. 20 to Feb. 1. of the men’s bas- test. Last season, Washington stepped up Retriever head coach Tom Sullivan. “He’s “One of the things ketball squad so to earn a starting role in the final two one of the kids that the other kids on the he’s been able to far this season to games. team look up to, to show them the way to do is lead the team earn NEC Player “He’s an excellent worker. One of get things done.” in scoring and of the Week hon- the things that he’s been able to do this The 6’3” junior from White Plains, become the focus ors. He received year is focus more on what the team’s New York has been the high scorer for of the other team’s the award during needs are,” stated Sullivan. “We’ve the Retrievers in over a dozen contests defense which has the third week of moved him from a two or a three and this season, averaging a team high of taken some of the Galen Zook / Retriever Weekly Staff action for tying his asked him to play both rolls. He’s been 15.5 points per game. “I think he’s been pressure off of our younger players,” career high of 23 points and adding five able to do that on a consistent basis and an excellent scorer for us and we’ve Sullivan added. Washington currently rebounds and two steals during the kind of fill in where we need the sup- focused a lot of our offensive sets around leads the Retrievers in three-point field Retriever’s victory over the Mount St. port.” February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 28

Spring Season Preview: Women’s Lacrosse by Andrew Chaney Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff back on the field after a long off-season. is a very skilled lacrosse player with a Dragoni is by far the most lethal player on strong shot and Borosody adds a punish- Women’s lacrosse at UMBC has this team with her quick stick on attack. ing shot as well. Venditti should fill in recently become a must-see event. Last She displays every good quality a lacrosse nicely as an attacker for the new season. year’s squad finished up with a storybook player should have. She has an amazingly Crouch will definitely solidify the ending by making it to the NCAA tourna- quick first step and she will be looked to as defense this season as she pairs up with ment. This year the team has goals of ter- the attack’s primary ball handler. Dragoni McClintic and Reese. Crouch continues to rorizing the Northeast Conference and took home NEC tournament MVP honors impress everyone with her quickness on making it back to the tournament. Senior last season and enters this season as the top the turf and her ability to give opponents Stephanie Allen and junior Jen Dragoni can lead returning scorer. Another midfielder, fits. Crouch became the first Lady be expected to have explosive seasons Hess will see plenty of action at the mid- Retriever in history to take home NEC under the leadership of head coach Monica field spot. She is a smart player with quick Rookie of the Year honors last season. Yeakel. The year 2003 will be a time of wit- feet. “Jen and Lauren will be the leaders of Libertini will have a positive impact on nessing some intense women’s lacrosse at our offense this year,” stated senior Allen. the midfield unit when she joins forces the UMBC Stadium complex. McClintic and Reese will anchor the inex- with Allen and Hess. The midfield will be The Lady Retrievers have a solid sen- perienced defensive unit this season. Both one of the strongest units for the Lady ior group with Allen, Courtney Stringer and are solid defenders who play full throttle Retrievers this season because of the Lauren Traber leading the way. Allen will for an entire game. McClintic is just wait- game experience at the college level. once again handle the draw-taking duties as ing to have a breakout year after some solid These experienced Dawgs will have a she gives the Dawgs an edge over tough starts earlier in her career. Sawyer is an positive influence for the young fresh- rivals. As a junior, Allen finished the 2002 aggressive player who has increased her men. season first in the nation in draw controls speed in the off season. Last year she The freshmen class is loaded with tal- with 3.76 per game. She is a great athlete remarkably captured Academic All- ent and these ladies include Kelly Fiorani, with the lacrosse mindset to handle any foe. America honors for her inspiration in the Jennifer Kasper, Katie Kraus, Rochele “We will have to wait until the first game classroom and on the field. Locey, Erin Lynn, Ashley Wilson, and against Duke to see where we stand,” stat- The sophomore class will be learning Kate Worthington. These seven freshmen ed Allen. Stringer is the goaltender this year from the seniors with hopes of providing will look to fill in behind the experienced and should be a block wall against tough some young athletic talent. These sopho- senior and junior class. ACC opponents like Duke and Virginia. mores include Ashleigh Borsody, Women’s lacrosse made school histo- She is really strong outside of the crease Stephanie Crouch, Annie Davis, Anna ry last year by making it to the NCAA and intercepts a lot of balls. Stringer will Jacobs, Julie Libertini, and Jocena tournament. For the fourth time in the provide the defense needed to capture the Venditti. Jacobs is a very quick attacker past five years, the UMBC squad captured coveted Northeast title. Traber might han- who has the skills needed to complement the NEC championship with a win over dle the draw-taking duties as well. She will Dragoni. She has worked on her game this Monmouth. They would then go on to see extensive game action at the midfield off season and will provide high energy lose to North Carolina in the tourney, but position and enters this season as second on play for the Retriever offense. Borosody, still keep those memories of winning the lead returning high scorers list. Davis, and Venditti will also work on the lacrosse. Head coach Monica Yeakel Juniors Dragoni, Lauren Hess, Tracie attack for 2003. All three of these ladies looks to make this season even better McClintic, Emily Sawyer, and Kelly Reese can produce large scoring sums, but need once the warm weather hits the Baltimore are the most tenacious group as they get to play in an entire game to do so. Davis area. File Photos / Retriever Weekly Staff February 18, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 29

Current Women’s Basketball Standings as of 2/08/03: Conference Wrap Up: Weekly Poll: Conference Non-conference Q: Who would you rather wins losses draws wins losses draws streak Quinnipiac and St. Francis (PA) watch play? have clinched NEC tournament 0 1. Quinnipac 12 1 16 6 0 W9 berths, leaving room for six more 0 St.Francis (PA) 12 1 16 6 0 L1 teams. Central Conn. has been Retrievers 0 3. Monmouth 9 4 14 8 0 W1 declared ineligible for the tourna- Lady Retrievers 0 4. Sacred Hear 7 5 13 8 0 W3 ment for scheduling too many 10 5. UMBC 6 0 12 0 0 W2 non-conference games. UMBC 0 6.Long Island 6 6 8 14 0 L2 continues to climb in the stand- Email answer to: 7. Wagner 6 7 0 11 11 0 L1 ings. [email protected] Mt. St. Mary’s 6 7 0 8 124 0 W1 Who’s Hot Chasity Burns of track, Sarah Crowell of softball, Bernadette Cullen of field hockey, Jen Current Men’s Basketball Standings as of 2/08/03: Conference Wrap Up: Dragoni of lacrosse, Patrice Conference Non-conference Malloy of track, Kim Robinson wins losses draws wins losses draws streak Wagner, Central Conn. and of track and Bridgette, Cheleta, Monmouth have clinched NEC 0 Natalia and Olni for participat- 1. Wagner 10 2 14 8 0 W2 tournament berths, leaving room 0 ing in the men’s basketball half 2. Central Conn 10 3 13 9 0 W1 for only five more teams in the 0 time show last Thursday in the Monmouth 10 3 12 10 0 W1 tournament. UMBC has dropped 0 RAC 4. St.Francis (PA) 8 5 12 10 0 W3 out of the tournament run 5. Fairleigh Dickinson 7 7 6 0 12 10 L1 6. Quinnipac 6 7 0 12 10 0 W1 Who’s Not 7. Long Island 6 7 0 8 14 0 L2 The men’s basketball team for 11. UMBC 4 10 0 6 17 0 L6 dropping six straight contests. Last Weeks Weekly Poll: Q: What should UMBC change its mascot to?

Lion 45% Elk 20% Wolf 25% Butterfly 10% Halftime Show Brings Down the House

BRETT MCKENZIE Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff

The men’s basketball team may have come up short on Thursday night but it was the women of Retriever athletics that brought the house down. The women took the court during half- time at Thursday night’s men’s basketball game and performed a carefully choreo- graphed and diligently-practiced dance that brought fans to their feet. A huge turn-out came to show their support for the girls, who gave even the UMBC Dance Team a run for their money. Many students claimed this to be the best halftime show they’d seen at UMBC. “People actually got into it,” junior Chris Becraft of the baseball team said. “If they did something like that every once in awhile... people would start to come on a regular basis.” The dance was choreographed mostly by softball’s Sarah Crowell, a junior who also participates frequently at basketball games by singing the National Anthem. Crowell worked to recruit her fellow dancers, and the girls labored for weeks prac- ticing (many putting in extra hours after long days of athletic practices). Track team members Chasity Burns, Kim Robinson and Patrice Malloy, field hockey’s Bernadette Cullen, and lacrosse’s Jen Dragoni were among the participants. Page 30 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS February 18, 2003 Page 31 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY February 18, 2003 Classifieds

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Lady Retrievers heat up halftime. Basballl prepares for action. Women’s Lacrosse prepares for action. Sports Kareem Washington is AOTW. The Women’s Swimming and Diving Dynasty Lives on UMBC Dominates the Pool During the Three Day Championship Tournament

NICK CHREST Most of the points, however, Backstroke with a time of Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff came from earlier in the day, 58.10. Once again, UMBC during preliminary races. swimmers flooded the final There was a blizzard of Retriever swimmers dominated races and took first place in snow outside and an avalanche the prelims and therefore had several events. Holly of Retriever success inside the several representatives in the Wittsack won the 100- RAC natatorium this weekend. final (and point earning) races. Butterfly while Amber The women’s swimming and In the 200-Individual Medley, Harris and Lindsay Prather diving team took on all comers six of the eight swimmers were each placed first in the 200- as UMBC hosted the Northeast from UMBC. Five Retrievers freestyle and 100- Conference Championships. found themselves in the 500- Breaststroke, respectively. Central Connecticut State, Freestyle finals. Relays were The force of Retrievers in Howard, Sacred Heart, St. another strong point for the the races included Jessica Francis (NY), St. Francis (PA), team. The team took fourth in Prosen, Laura Chang, and Wagner all joined the Lady the 200-Freestyle relay but had Amanda Otis, Cara Linehan, Retrievers for the competition earlier earned a first place finish and Leslie Sturdevant. Also that got under way on Friday. in the 400-Medley Relay. On appearing in the finals were UMBC jumped out early in the diving side of the pool Megan Schaeffer, Casey the meet and ended the day Peggy Preston finished in sec- Connor, Stephanie Disque more than 80 points ahead of ond while Kristen Cevoli ended and Katrin Harrsen. Once Wagner, who was in second up in fourth in the 1-Meter again, the UMBC divers had place. The lead was built on the event. strong days. Preston was back of strong performances by The second day of the meet second in the 3-Meter event the usual list of team members. saw the Retrievers’ lead balloon and edged teammate Cevoli, Elyse Gibson grabbed third to 200 points over Wagner. The who was third. place in the 50-Freestyle race biggest swim of the day came Such a strong Retriever File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff while Astrid Sperling won in from Sperling who broke the lead all but ensured a suc- Fantastic Finish: Despite the snow, the women’s swim team blew the 200-Individual Medley. meet record in the 100- cessful third and final day. away competition to take first at the NEC Championship. Men’s Swimming and Diving Laps Their Competition The Retrievers Beat Howard University and St. Francis (NY) En-route to First Place Finish

Jakub Sroczynski receiving the sil- tition, just about having fun and ver (4:39.93) and Ron Park the getting a personal best,” com- bronze (4:49.07). Farley’s gold mented a more confident Gdowik. medal of the day came from the “ECAC’s will be a much different 200-Individual Medley. Senior co- meet. More schools and most of captains David Landgren (1:57.70) the divers there go on to nation- and Karl Strauss (1:57.94) walked als.” away with the other two top spots. And on Sunday despite the In diving Junior Jon Gdowik earned severity of the weather UMBC’s 201.35 points giving him the silver men drove home their win taking behind St. Francis’ (NY) Hugo four of five individual firsts and Salazar (349.45). setting a new meet record by After Saturday, the Retrievers Farley in the 1650-Free. In what improved their lead to 759, 393 was Farley’s third NEC gold he points higher than the second place beat the other competitors by Howard University. Farley and almost a full lap and finished with Szabo continued their winning a time of 16:27.66 qualifying him ways with their NEC medal count for ECAC’s as well. Sophomore now at two each. In the 200-Free Sean Ogden and freshman Joe Farley and freshman Adam Blais “Guy” Raymond took second and finished one and two, both earning third place respectively. The 200- ECAC qualifying times. Szabo’s Back was the other race of the day File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff Top Dawg: The men’s swim team remained at the top of the NEC after a stellar weekend. win came in the 100-Fly and sen- where UMBC took the top three ior Ron Park in the third spot fol- seats with Sroczynski in first dropped due to a technical problem. Starting their assault on the lowed him. Also on Saturday, (1:53.72), Nicholas Lombo in sec- KATHLEEN JACKSON While on Sunday there was a loss NEC after the first set of finals on Landgren earned his first of two ond (1:59.72), and Clegg in third Retriever Weekly Senior Writer of a custom, the tradition of the Friday UMBC lead 392 to gold metals in the 400-IM (1:53.11). In both the 200-Fly and Retrievers’ dominance in the NEC Howard’s and St. Francis’ 173 and (4:09.66). Sophomore Andrew the 200-Breast UMBC men took It is has always been a tradition was kept. After leading the pack 129 respectively. Junior Josh Farley Clegg earned second (4:15.20). first and second (Langren and that the seniors from all the NEC each of the days of competition the and freshman Geza Szabo led their After placing second the day Strauss in the 200-Breast, Szabo schools dance to the YMCA before Retriever men’s team finished the team winning an individual event before and being out due to injury and Sroczynski in the 200-Fly). the start of the last day of competi- Invitational first with a score of each out of the four events total. for several of the previous meets With 14 more days till tion of the NEC Invitational. But 1,077 points, Howard trailed in Szabo took first in the 500-Free Gdowik prevailed to placed first ECAC’s this past weekend’s dom- this past weekend at the Retriever second with 504 and St Francis (4:39.89). In that same race UMBC on the 3-meter board (392.85). “I inance proves they will be more Natatorium that tradition had to be (NY) came in last with 464. took home all of three medals, wasn’t thinking about the compe- than ready.