BT March 2016 Age Old Question Answered... Exclusive interview with Xbox or Playstation? We hold the answers HOW TO ENTERTAIN YOURSELF WITH BREAD I 'm pretty tired I should probably get Okay, I guess I’m bun for now, you Man, I feel like a menace, like some evil to bread early, plus this grain and the crepe. Anyways, donut worry person from North Tortilla who’s about wheat wave outside is making me feel because I’ll be rolling my way back in to hit you a top your flat bread. Maybe kind of crusty and people have been once I get out of Bread in the if you payed him a pumpernickel he’d telling me these crummy joke. I'm like morning because we all know you leave you a-cone. Anyways I saw the can you just be bun already! But knead these crummy bread buns. love of your life the other day. She’s a anyways, how are you doughing? You Plus, c’mon, the yeast you could do is real keeper. I’d bake ya’ll a cake but that know what, donut talk to me anymore. I cut me a slice. But don’t worry I’m just wouldn’t be bun would it. Just don't knead you anyways. You butter not bready to give up yet because crummy bread statements. You must leave me alone. Seriously though, just here comes some more crusty jokes be muffin and puffin right now. I really stop loafing around. Okay how about to go raisin your mood because I’ll be butter stop at this point. These buns we just go watch some Breaking Bread making these buns by the flour. At are getting real stale, so you know because I’m really jam packed later. I’m this point I’m probably toast with all wheat? I’ll slice right out of your jam meeting with my gingerbread friend. these mold haters. Okay for real I’m and bread out. Seed you later friend. He’s known to toast about his pretty much bun so I’ll leave you to Good Rye. accomplishments. Man, with all these your kneads and stop graining on bread puns, I really have to bagel for your parade and just roll my way forgiveness. Okay I’m Doughn now. I down the whole wheat trail and think I’ll just sit down and play some leave you to your business. I’m just Breadrising because I really knead a pulling your grain. C’mon though, rye break after all of this bread seeduction. so serious? Oh, I have another joke I Hey, now that I think about it, have you bet you’ll never Baguette this one! seen that Inbread horse? I really hope What do you call it when a mother his family loafs him especially in the and child bake bread together? A loafers he was wearing, no bun labor of LOAF. Sorry, that was intended, that’s just like that time I was actually pretty crummy wasn’t it? with my purebread dog out for a walk Well don’t you worry your buns I to a wrestling thing where the guy have a whole wheat worth of jokes shouted “LET’S GET BREADY TO lined up. Now, did you hear about CRUUUUUMBLE!” Anyone know where Doughnald Trump? I heard he played Peeta from The Hunger Games is? the crumpet and loved to bake Because this would be his jam. I’m so leaves for some raisin. I would have bunny! Anyways, want to hear a joke? left him with the fastest land animal Why was the baker in a panic? Because the Peeta. Anyways back to the he was in a loaf or death situation. funny loafs. Why does everyone Haha! knead water and bread? Because loaf makes the world go round. Okay you’re probably really crusty right now so just inhale and Pretzal. Kevin Robinett B L A Z E R T I M E S - 1 THE KEYS TO SUCCESS Water damaged phone? Put the phone in a Ziploc bag with rice, then wait 48 hours. It will absorb all the moisture and the the phone will be fully functional once again. If you lend a friend something, take a picture of them holding it so you can remember it down the road. If you have a blurry lens on your camera, put clear tape over the lens to make the pictures look more clear. Stack your clothes vertically to see them all. Fill a clean sock with rice. Tie the sock off. Microwave for a minute to make a hot pillow. Pour coke on a paper towel. It becomes an instant cleaner. To clean your toilet put Alka-seltzer tablets in the water, wait ten minutes and you have a clean toilet. To make your room smell better, spray a light bulb with perfume or cologne. Don’t have enough room in the microwave? Put one item on a cup. Don’t use google to research, use scholar.google.com Suffering from acne? It might be your pillow case, sleep with a fresh one every night. Put a light under a bottle of water to make an lantern. Joel Brown B L A Z E R T I M E S - 2 SNACKIN' WITH SOPHIE Do you ever come home from school hungry, and there is nothing to eat? Don’t worry, I am here to help. I have a delicious recipe that is great for after-school hunger. This issue's recipe is this delicious popcorn. What you will need: 1 bag Orville Redenbachers kettle corn pop-up bowl popcorn ½ stick butter 4 dashes Lawry’s Seasoned Salt 1 Tablespoon Cinnamon Dash of cayenne pepper Dash of sea salt How to make it: Place popcorn bag into the microwave and put it on the popcorn setting (usually around 1-2 minutes). Take the popcorn out of the microwave, and put the butter in for about 30 seconds, or whenever it's melted. Let the butter cool off. Put the butter into a large bowl in sections, pouring ¼ of the butter in each section. Lightly toss until the butter is spread. Add several dashes of season salt, then add the dash of regular sea salt, next add the cayenne pepper, then finally add the cinnamon. Shake until all the seasoning is spread all over the popcorn. Enjoy! Sophie Hunget B L A Z E R T I M E S - 3 XBOX VS PLAYSTATION The age old question about which is better As far as the console competition with In an interview with reporter is about to be answered. Microsoft or Sony, Phil Spencer, head of Xbox, sat VG247, Jim Ryan stated when Sony? Which is superior? Which allows down for a fireside chat at the recent asked about the night before at what? Which has more sales? Which GeekWire Summit and offered some E3,” I enjoyed the whole thing, should YOU spend money on? Well, these insight into Microsoft’s early missteps actually. I obviously don’t get questions are about to be answered in this with the Xbox One launch and the invited to the Microsoft one. I article here. So stay and read up for this ongoing battle with Sony. Stating things went to EA, Ubisoft and ours. article of Console Royale! like, many Xbox fans across the world There were pluses and minuses Now let’s start with our contestants for expressed displeasure with a number across the board, but I think my sales, the new PS4, or Playstation 4, and of Xbox One features, including the fact abiding take-out is a sense that the PS3, both released by Sony and the that the console did not offer backward developers are really starting to XBox One or, as I like to call it, the X1, and compatibility with Xbox 360 games and feel comfortable and confident the XBox 360 which was released by implemented restrictions with game- with next-gen.” Microsoft. First, we’ll start with the main sharing. He continues on saying,” It’s factors in our argument, the sales. Who While on top of that, Microsoft originally arguably taken a bit longer than bought more of which product, and who priced its console at $499 — $100 more people thought it would, but, decided it wasn’t good enough, then went than Sony’s Playstation 4. Spencer, who genuinely, and not just at our with the rival. (The PS4 will be listed first, was part of the leadership team that conference, there was several since it was released on the 15th of helped launch the Xbox One before moments when I just went, “Wow, November in the US, seven days before becoming head of Xbox in April 2014, that looks great.” And it’s nice the X1, which was released on November went on to say that Microsoft lost the when you have that sort of day. It 22). trust of gamers. was good.” According to the last global sales count, “Whatever the feature may have been, based on earnings statements from both we lost the trust in [our customers] that companies, was 34.4 million total they were at the center of our decision- combined PS4 and PS3 sales and 23.4 making process,” he said in an million combined Xbox One and Xbox 360 interview, “Were we building for us, or sales since the current generation for the gamers? As soon as that consoles launched in November 2013. question came into people’s minds and NPD also noted on October 19th, 2015, they looked at any of those features, that “after 23 months on the market, you find very quickly that you lose the combined PS4 and Xbox One sales are 40 benefit of the doubt.” percent higher than the combined 23 As for the Sony side, despite Microsoft’s month totals for PS3 and 360.” Take 2 best efforts, Sony laid waste to the Los Interactive NBA 2K16 was the top-selling Angeles big stage on E3 of 2015, pulling game last month and has the best launch out some of the most spectacular month ever for any sports game made for reveals in show history and eliciting the the Xbox One and/or PS4.