Luis Botella

MUSIC, MEANING, AND EMOTION: A CASE STUDY

Luis Botella

FPCEE Blanquerna, Ramon Llull University, Barcelona, Spain

This paper discusses the emotional power of music in the specific sense of its potential use as a means to achieve (a) emotional regulation and (b) meaning making in constructivist psychotherapy. A case study of a client for whom music was a significant part of his life and his psychotherapeutic process is discussed so as to exemplify the paper’s main thesis.

Keywords: Music, emotional regulation, meaning making, personal construct psychology, constructivism .

The emotional power of music has been recog- moil”. He described in detail how his marriage nized for centuries. In fact, music has always ended up in divorce two years before, when he been used primarily as a profound and imme- realized that his feelings towards his wife had diate means to evoke emotions, from the melan- changed and that he was not able to communi- cholic sadness of an aria to the patriotic pride of cate at a deep emotional level with her. They a national anthem. Given the significant role that both were in couple’s therapy for 10 months, but emotions play in psychotherapy in general and in Adam complained that his wife only made minor psychotherapeutic change in particular, it’s not changes in the relationship and returned to the surprising that sometimes, for some clients, mu- same communication difficulties in a matter of sic becomes a meaningful topic in therapy. days. Adam realized now how he had also been In fact there are a number of people that, de- contributing to such difficulties--basically by spite not being professional musicians, are ex- having renounced the possibility of any change tremely moved by music and for whom music many years ago. He said he had felt quite lonely play a paramount role. They are the kind of in the last years of his marriage, that he thought people whose life seems to have a soundtrack. his wife had become incapable of understanding They can easily remember the music that ac- his need of a more profound emotional commu- companied their most cherished memories, and nication and that this only got worse because of listening again to these particular pieces of mu- the need to focus constantly on the everyday sic can evoke in them profound emotional expe- needs of their children. Adam also said that he riences associated to such memories. loved his children immensely, and that his di- What follows is a case study of one such vorce made him feel somehow guilty and sorry client. My attempt in discussing this case is to for them, but that he thought it would be better illustrate to what extent music can sometimes be for them to see both their parents happy, even if incorporated into constructivist psychotherapy separated, than unhappy together. not only as therapeutic in itself, but as a vehicle Adam’s “emotional turmoil” was triggered by for meaning making and emotional regulation. a series of recent events that he described as fol- lows. After his divorce, he became acutely aware of his unfulfilled emotional needs and began to CASE STUDY look for support in some of his female friends. His relationship with one of them (Rachel) be- Adam is a 45 year old man. He works as a com- came more and more intimate to the point of his puter graphics designer for a large corporation. falling in love with her, and he was quite sure He is divorced and has four children aged 15, 12, that his feelings were mutual. However, these 9, and 5. He came to therapy initially because he feelings of mutual attraction and love were not felt he was in the middle of an “emotional tur- easy to incorporate into their previously friendly

74 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Music, meaning, and emotion relationship because Rachel was just married and ics: (1) music and emotional regulation, and (2) in fact quite shocked by how things were evolv- song’s lyrics and meaning-making. ing between her and Adam—even if she could not deny that her feelings were certainly, and to a certain degree, mutual. So far, Adam and Ra- MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL REGULATION chel had not had sex, nor any other form of inti- mate physical contact, and they both were quite Regarding the first one, Adam described in detail reluctant to further intimacy until they could cla- in therapy how he was almost constantly listen- rify their relationship. ing to music even when working. He used to The significant role of music in Adam’s life wear his earphones when he walked to his office, and worldview became obvious to his therapist plug his MP3 into his computer loudspeakers as because of the frequent use Adam made of frag- soon as he reached his office, and turn his radio ments of song’s lyrics to make sense of his life, or CD player on whenever he was at home. He and because of his repeatedly referring to him- said that his mood could be quite transformed by self as an “80’s New Romantic”. Because of the music he was listening to, and his therapist such significance, I decided to make a deliberate invited him to carry on an experiment consisting and systematic use of music in Adam’s therapy. of increasing his awareness of what particular Of course this was not music therapy at all, but mood states could music evoke in him. So, rather an invitation to explicitly explore in thera- Adam was invited to pay attention during the py a domain of experience that our client clearly week to (a) his mood state previously to having felt was very meaningful. it changed by a particular song; (b) his mood Thus, it became clear in our sessions with state after that; and (c) what in the song he Adam (a) that he used music to regulate his thought could induce such a change. mood and emotional states; and that (b) many of Adam came to the next session with a consi- his favorite songs lyrics helped him to make derably large amount of information regarding sense of what was happening to him. It also be- this particular—keep in mind that he was almost came clear that Adam’s musical tastes excluded constantly listening to music and also almost classical music and jazz (he said he had not a constantly in the middle of profound emotional “trained ear” for these particular genres) and experiences. Adam and his therapist spent this were focused instead around pop rock in general, whole session in a deliberate effort to reduce the 80’s British “New Romantics” and specifi- such an amount of data to a manageable one. cally Duran Duran. Apart from this specific The therapist did this by using an ad hoc adapta- band, whose members are already into their for- tion of Grounded Theory Methodology (Glaser ties, some of the others that Adam listens to are & Strauss, 1967) consisting in grouping Adam’s made up of musicians almost 20 years younger mood states into a fewer series of superordinate than Adam, and in fact Adam and his children categories (together with Adam) by carefully share some of the same preferences. Neverthe- considering their commonalities. Because of the less, he does not feel at all a need to justify his clinical and applied focus of our work with liking rock bands of a younger generation, and Adam the method in this case did not go beyond he stated repeatedly in therapy that music is the ad hoc content analysis, but we have used the language of emotions and it transcends age, same procedure in a more systematic and com- gender, ethnicity, and even almost words. The plex way in our research projects. role of music in Adam’s life is so relevant, that The image that emerged is summarized in after reading Oliver Sacks’ book “Musicophilia” Table 1 . Some of the terms in the table need to (Sacks, 2007) he kept referring to himself jo- be more clearly defined because they are quite kingly as a “musicophilic”. idiosyncratic to Adam’s use of his personal con- I will focus my description of Adam’s thera- structs about music and songs. Such a more de- peutic process around these two interrelated top- tailed definition became possible because Adam’s therapist had a certain level of musical

75 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Luis Botella knowledge and was able to help him identify faster tempo. This combination creates a propul- structural musical elements to make sense of sive rhythmic feel that almost inevitably makes what otherwise were pre-verbal constructs. listening active and motoric. He mentioned Thus, Adam was able to identify torch songs many examples of this, among them the more as sentimental love songs in which the singer dance oriented recent tracks produced by Ameri- laments a lost love. Typically, they are slow can rapper Timbaland for Duran Duran, like tempo songs with little or no intrusive instru- “Skin Divers”. mentation or production effects. Adam men- Love songs with a happy ending were accord- tioned Duran Duran’s “Someone Else not Me” ing to Adam those that celebrated the power of as prototypical of them. (A more detailed analy- love against all odds. In general, its main struc- sis of some of these song’s lyrics is included in tural difference with torch songs apart from the the next section of this paper). obvious one regarding lyrics, is that the tempo is usually faster and that both instrumentation and production effects create a more ecstatic and ro- Table 1: Adam’s description of his mood states mantic feeling. As an example of this Adam pre- and post listening to music and of the kind mentioned Eurhythmics’ “The Miracle of Love”. of music originating the changes in his mood. Unrequited love songs were those in which the singer complains about an unfulfilled or un- satisfactory romantic relationship but, unlike Pre -Music Kind of M u- Post -Music torch songs, not in a melancholic way but in an Mood sic/Song Mood/s angry and self asserting one. The lyrics of some Torch songs in of them can in fact express quite explicitly the Melancholic general anger that such feelings carry with them, as in Disco/dance Happy the example that Adam mentioned: Simple Plan’s “Time to Say Goodbye”. Accordingly, Sad Love songs with Hopeful musical, performance and production effects a happy ending tend to create a feeling of anger and emotional Unrequited love Angry intensity. songs Slow tempo ballads were a quite straightfor- Slow tempo ba l- Relaxed ward category in Adam’s repertory of listening lads Anxious preferences. The main difference with torch Love songs with Hopeful songs according to him was that in this case a happy ending these were not love songs, but songs expressing Songs about R a- Sad peaceful or comforting feelings about anything chel else. Adam mentioned some New Age tracks as Happy Unrequited love an example of this category—and in this case Angry songs with no lyrics. Torch songs in And finally, songs about Rachel (a name that Melancholic general Adam did choose as a pun on Maroon 5 album “Songs About Jane”) were songs that he imme- Disco/dance Happy diately associated with her because of a series of reasons. As an example he mentioned Simple Neutral Love songs with Hopeful Plan’s “I Can Wait Forever” because it was often a happy ending played on the radio of the bar where they used to Unrequited love Angry meet in the beginning of their relationship. In songs this case, songs in this category shared almost no structural elements, because what defined them By disco/dance Adam referred to songs with a was their role in Adam’s emotional memories. strong establishment of a grooving rhythm (usually by means of drums, bass, or both) and a 76 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Music, meaning, and emotion

Such a detailed analysis would probably have states he had identified in the previous phase of been no more than an example of stylistic irre- his therapy. (Adam was a proficient English levance were it not for Adam’s important in- speaker, and even if therapy with him was con- sights after devoting some sessions to reflect on ducted in Catalan, he had no problem with un- it. Specifically, Adam realized to what extent derstanding his favorite song’s lyrics.) Adam music could regulate his mood and emotions, but chose three songs mentioned before: (1) Duran also a series of more relevant points. He became Duran’s “Someone Else not Me”; (2) Simple aware that some of these mood states were not Plan’s “Time to Say Goodbye”; and (3) “I can exactly helpful to him, because he became al- Wait Forever” (also by Simple Plan). Their lyr- most incapable of paying attention to anything ics are as follows: else than his emotional pain when he entered them. Thus, the use of laddering technique helped him realize that melancholy led him Someone Else not Me eventually to inactivity, anger to somehow de- structive attempts to radically run away from Written by Rhodes, Le Bon & Cuccurullo. Rachel instead of trying to clarify things with Source: Pop Trash, 2000, HR-62266-2 her, and sadness to crying and withdrawal. © Hollywood Records, Inc. (Happiness, hopefulness, and relaxation were not problematic). Now while the beat is slow Adam also became aware of something ap- Here in your arms I sway parently obvious but that he had not realized be- Now that the light is low fore: because he always used the ‘Randomize’ Something I want to say mode in his MP3 player, he was constantly shift- I guess you've known it for a while ing from one mood to another as songs belong- But I mean trouble ing to different categories were being played I only want to see you smile unexpectedly. And I burst this bubble These insights, however important, would on- The hardest thing is to let go ly have led to Adam’s using music as a form of When love is real... emotional self-regulation in a more thoughtful Like a flower loves a bee and controlled way. This was undoubtedly a But I know you're meant to worthy and useful therapeutic goal for him, but Give yourself to both he and his therapist had the feeling that Someone else not me Adam’s presenting complaint was far beyond And I could carry on with you emotional self-regulation and that it had deep Does that sound crazy? connections with his meaning making processes. I think you feel the same way too This is where song lyrics became important be- And you can't face it cause they played the role of dominant cultural The hardest thing is to let go narratives with a very powerful way to exert But it's not defeat their influence over Adam’s life: the power that When you set somebody free music has to affect us directly and to escape al- And I know you're meant to most any form of rational barrier. Be yourself with Someone else not me Can you let go? SONG LYRICS AND MEANING-MAKING 'Cause that's love that's real Like a flower loves a bee Thus, at this point the therapist asked Adam to And you know you're meant choose a few song lyrics that he found prototypi- To give yourself to cal or illustrative of his “emotional turmoil”, and Someone else not me that led him to some of the problematic mood Somebody else not me

77 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Luis Botella

Meant for somebody else not me It's time to say goodbye Somebody else not me Now I'm gone It's too late You can't fix Time to Say Goodbye Your mistakes I was trying to save you from you Written by Simple Plan. So you scream so you cry I can see Source: Simple Plan, 2008, 7567-89952-0 Through your lies © Atlantic Recording Corporation You're just trying to change me (Trying to change me) I just don't want to waste another day Somewhere in the distance I'm trying to make things right There's a place for me to go But you shove it in my face I don't want you to hate me And all those things you've But I think you need to know Done to me I can't erase You're weighing on my shoulders And I can't keep this inside And I'm sick of feeling down It's time to say goodbye So I guess it's time for On the first day that I met you Me to say goodbye I should have known to walk away I should have told you you were crazy And disappear without a trace I Can Wait Forever But instead I stood there waiting Hoping you would come around Written by Simple Plan. But you always found a way to let me Source: Simple Plan, 2008, 7567-89952-0 down © Atlantic Recording Corporation It's time to say goodbye (I just don't want to waste another day) You look so beautiful today It's time to say goodbye When you're sitting there it's hard for me (Cause things will never be the same) to look away It's time to say goodbye So I try to find the words that I could say (You make me think I need to walk away) I know distance doesn't matter but you It's time to say goodbye feel so far away It's time to say goodbye And I can't lie every time I leave my heart After all the things I've done for you turns gray You never tried to do the same And I want to come back home to see It's like you always play the victim your face tonight And I'm the one you always blame Cause I just can't take it When you need someone to save you Another day without you with me When you think you're going to drown Is like a blade that cuts right through me (Think you're going to drown) But I can wait, I can wait forever You just grab your arms around When you call my heart stops beating Me and pull me down When you're gone it won’t stop bleeding It's time to say goodbye But I can wait, I can wait forever (I just don't want to waste another day) You look so beautiful today It's time to say goodbye It's like every time I turn around I see your (Cause things will never be he same) face It's time to say goodbye The thing I miss the most is waking up (You make me think I need to walk away) next to you It's time to say goodbye

78 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Music, meaning, and emotion

When I look into your eyes, man I wish this had such a powerful effect on his mood and, that I could stay more importantly, his construction of events. And I can't lie every time I leave my heart What follows is a summary of Adam’s reflection turns gray on each one of the songs’ lyrics. And I want to come back home to see your face tonight Someone Else not Me identifies almost Cause I just can't take it perfectly my situation with Rachel… It’s Another day without you with me unbelievable how Duran Duran had been Is like a blade that cuts right through me able to express what I could not have ex- But I can wait, I can wait forever pressed better about myself! The only dif- When you call my heart stops beating ference is that the song seems to entail a When you're gone it won’t stop bleeding level of physical intimacy that I’ve never But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait for- had with Rachel by saying “here in your ever arms I sway”… I’ve never swayed in her I know it feels like "forever" arms… and probably never will… But I’m I guess that's just the price I gotta pay quite sure that she’s meant for somebody But when I come back home to feel your else not me! And (yes, sounds crazy!) I’m touch makes it better also sure that our love is real. It feels as if Until that day there's nothing else that I life had been playing tricks on me… I was can do married to someone who seemed incapa- And I just can't take it, I just can't take it ble of loving me, and now that I find Another day without you with me somebody who loves me, she’s meant for Is like a blade that cuts right through me someone else! I would rather not have But I can wait, I can wait forever reached this level of emotional intimacy When you call my heart stops beating with her… I don’t know whose fault it When you're gone it won’t stop bleeding was; maybe I should have stopped that or But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait for- maybe she should. It doesn’t matter much, ever it doesn’t help, but I cannot stop thinking I can wait forever about it.

Adam had already identified the mood changes Time to Say Goodbye is an angry song, I induced by these three songs that he frequently know it. I’m almost ashamed of seeing listened to. “Someone Else not Me” made him myself mirrored in those lyrics. She just feel melancholic every time he listened to it, does not deserve my being so angry… but “Time to Say Goodbye” made him feel angry, I cannot deny my anger here in therapy. and “I Can Wait Forever” made him feel sad. He There are so many things I don’t under- had also already identified the structural and sty- stand and she does not want me to under- listic elements in the songs that contributed to stand. So many questions left unans- such an effect over his mood, and was in the wered… Has she been playing with my process of learning how to use them not at ran- feelings and giving me hopes of something dom but deliberately to try to regulate his mood she never meant to happen? Is she so cyn- swings. ical or so afraid of what others would However, even a cursory glance at the songs’ think of her as to go on with her husband lyrics makes it obvious that despite the relevance despite her feelings for me? Or maybe her of musical elements as a way to immediately feelings were just a lie? If so, why? Why is evoke emotions; in this case the semantic ones she so afraid of herself when she knows I are also quite relevant. We invited Adam to re- would have done anything for her? That’s flect on the meaning of each one of the song’s why this song describes so well my feeling lyrics, so as to help him reflect after that on why that I should have known better and

79 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Luis Botella

walked away months ago! I guess I cannot garded as a goal in constructivist therapies. With deny anymore that I’m really angry and the insightful contributions of narrative thera- tired of suffering! pies, the role of language and narrative construc- tion in both of these processes has been hig- I Can Wait Forever makes me so sad! It’s hlighted and increasingly understood. one of the songs I associate to the first Language is not just a means to make “ra- weeks of getting to know Rachel better… tional” sense of what happens to us, but also a and it was so wonderful a time! I thought powerful form of meaning construction in itself, then, I sincerely did, that I will be able to with strong emotional implications and contri- wait forever. Then after so many conver- buting to bridge the gap between the past and the sations with her I understood that there future in the sense of helping us anticipate the was nothing to wait for. I know she’s con- future by understanding our past experiences. fused, but her running away from this con- Given the prevalence of English as the interna- fusion left me hanging from the thread tional Lingua franca in many domains, and es- that we once formed together. And what pecially in popular music, it is not unlikely that am I supposed to do know? Wait and not those who are moved by this kind of music and be tired by waiting as in Kipling’s poem? use it as a way to make sense of themselves are Sounds so chivalrous and aloof that it’s also inadvertently using a number of cultural just absurd! I’m sure my life must go on… narratives implicitly embedded in the lyrics. This but I’m still trying to make sense of this point would certainly deserve further considera- period and learn from my painful expe- tion, and it constitutes in fact a growing body of rience so as not to make such a mistake research within the realm of music semiotics. again. And still… this song has a very po- Given the also very strong emotional power werful effect on me… makes me cry every of music, and its association with words in the time I listen to it, takes me back to a time case of songs with lyrics, it is not surprising that when everything seemed to make sense it can play a significant role in both the emotion- and I was so stupid as to believe it will al and the meaning making aspects of some of make sense forever! our client’s lives. However, traditional psycho- therapeutic schools have approached music rare- Therapy with Adam involved a lot of emotional ly, and mostly as a therapeutic technique (i.e., support to him, as well as a lot of narrative re- music therapy) rather than as a vehicle for un- construction and meaning making. Adam felt the derstanding client’s constructions. urgent need to understand what had happened to As this case study exemplifies, music can al- him, even more than to do anything specific so be incorporated to psychotherapy in the sense about it. He stated repeatedly during therapy that of better understanding our client’s meaning he needed to make sense of the past so as to be making processes (by means of working with able to foresee the future—a constructivist dic- lyrics as if they were poems, i.e., narratively) tum in itself! and also as a means to help them achieve a high- In this process, music kept playing a very er degree of emotional regulation (because of the significant role in Adam’s life. He kept using it power of music to evoke profound emotions). as a means to achieve emotional regulation and also as a powerful source of meaning via the poetic power of its lyrics. REFERENCES

Glaser, B.G., & Strauss A. (1967). The discovery of CLOSING THOUGHTS grounded theory: strategies for qualitative re- search . Chicago: Aldine. Both meaning making and, to some extent, emo- Sacks, O. (2007) Musicophilia: Tales of Music and tional regulation have been traditionally re- the Brain . New York: Vintage Books.

80 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009

Music, meaning, and emotion

ABOUT THE AUTHOR REFERENCE

Luis Botella , PhD is Professor of Psychotherapy Botella, L. (2009). Music, meaning, and emo- and Director of the Psychotherapy Service at tion: A case study. Personal Construct Theory & Ramon Llull University in Barcelona, Spain. He Practice, 6, 72-78, 2009 has been investigating constructivism and Per- (Retrieved from http://www.pcp- sonal Construct Psychotherapy for more than 20 net.org/journal/pctp09/botella09.pdf ) years, and has developed an interest in popular music and meaning making in the last five ones. Email : [email protected] Received: 10 Dec 2008 – Accepted: 28 Feb 2009 – Published: 20 March 2009

81 Personal Construct Theory & Practice, 6, 2009