Death, Grief and Suicide in Children's Television

PROGRAMME RESEARCH Death, grief and suicide in children’s television This article presents a summary of them and told psychologists’ and therapists’ com- them he hoped ments on children’s programmes they wouldn’t that deal with grief and death. be too sad when his time had Loss and grief are subjectively unpleas- come.” Finally, ant feelings, and, understandably, we one evening, would intuitively like to protect our the old badger children from these experiences. At died in his rock- the same time, death – like birth – is ing chair, and often a part of children’s experiences dreamt he was at an early age. Children will have to floating away face experiences such as finding a dead through a tun- bird by the wayside, a dead pet, or the nel. When the passing away of grandparents or other forest animals close relatives. Existential themes such found him, they as death and birth are a part of life. were all very sad. They withdrew into and maybe think of me. Then healing Trying to keep children away from the their burrows when the winter snow can happen.’ so it’s about appreciating topic of death means not preparing came, but even the snow could not what is, and this appreciation supports them for unavoidable experiences, cover up their sorrow. “The badger healing. But wanting to spare others and leaving them alone with painful had told them they shouldn’t be sad, from something – which they could experiences. It is therefore important but it was hard.” When the spring have learnt to deal with, in this case for children’s television to engage came, they met and told each other all grief – ultimately weakens them. My with and reflect on the topic and the the wonderful things they had learnt second wish: not to glamourise death. phenomenon of death, but also the from the badger, and were now really The long tunnel takes away the frighten- emotion of grief. In our discussion with good at (cf. Ill. 1). That was the old ing aspect of death. I suspect this is what experts we showed psychologists and badger’s farewell present. someone who is trying to reassure him- therapists selected programmes from The experts agreed that the film was self thinks would be good for children. the PrIx JEunEssE InTERNATIOnAL aesthetically successful. Erhard Dou- And here too: trying to spare someone festival that deal with the emotion of brawa (Gestalt Therapy Institute of from something he could have learnt grief after someone has died. Cologne, Germany) called it “A lovely to deal with ultimately weakens him. film, poignant and touching in many ‘The badger was not afraid of death,’ Badger’s parting gifts ways,” but at the same time he had 2 that would have been enough for me. (WDR, Germany) reservations. “As a therapist I would nevertheless, a lovely film.” The animated film Badger’s parting have 2 wishes for this film. Firstly, grief gifts (original title: Leb wohl, lieber should be encouraged, and not attenu- Mille (DR, Denmark) Dachs) from the Show with the Mouse ated. so instead of saying ‘Don’t be too Mille, finalist in the PrIx JEUNESSE (PrIx JEunEssE InTERNATIOnAL fi- sad when I die,’ the badger could have InTERNATIOnAL 2010 in the 12-15 nalist 2004) tells the story of a badger said something like: ‘It’s normal to be category, tells the story of 12-year-old who knows that he will soon die. He sad. It’s part of life. And that’s OK. In Mille, who has witnessed her friend’s himself is not afraid, but “his only the winter of sadness, don’t cry alone in fatal cycling accident. The first episode worry was how his friends would take your burrows. Meet up with each other. of the 10-part series begins after the his death. (…) He had already prepared Be sad together. Talk about your grief funeral, and shows how Mille deals 58 27/2014/E PROGRAMME RESEARCH Adriaan – remarks were also nice, like the ques- a coffin for tion about whether he’s cold or not Spottie cold at the moment when spottie is (KRO, being buried. We are shown that the Nether lands) boy is sad. And at the same time the The series family accompanies him, the father Adriaan tells stands by his side, strokes his head. the stor y I liked that. I could have imagined a of Adriaan bit more emphasis on the fact that and his dog it’s absolutely all right to be sad. It’s spottie in 5 appropriate, and it’s a sign that you’ve episodes (7 to become fond of someone, and that you 9 min.). In the want to cry when they’re gone. And title sequence that companionship is helpful in such he recounts: processes, and that friendship plays a “I have a dog part and can grow.” with the experience. she cannot say a called spottie, I Iove him so. In the mornings Dr. Maya Götz (IZI, Munich) single word to the school psychologist, he comes to say ‘hello!’ He licks my cheek or cry at the funeral. At school she has by my bedside. But when I woke up today, he had died.” trouble concentrating and wants to be nOtes left alone. she sees how her classmates The first episodePr ( Ix JEunEssE In- react and judge her. It is only when an TERNATIOnAL finalist 2008) begins 1 Unicef (2012). Progress for children. A report older friend talks about his experiences with Adriaan and his father setting out card on adolescents. http://www.unicef.org/pub- lications/files/Progress_for_Children_-_No._10_ with a loss that Mille is finally able to to the cabinetmaker to have a coffin EN_04272012.pdf [16.04.2014] fall into her mother’s arms. made for spottie. One of the people 2 Hilda N. Shilubane et al. (2013). suicide and related Detlef Klöckner (Gestalt Institute they meet there is Teun, the cabinet- health risk behaviours among school learners in south Africa. http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471- Frankfurt/Main, Germany): “The film maker’s son. One of his guinea pigs has 2458/13/926 [16.04.2014] shows very vividly the elements that recently died. Without any superflu- 3 http://www.statcan.gc.ca/tables-tableaux/sum- can make up a grieving process. And ous words, the short story shows how som/l01/cst01/hlth66a-eng.htm [16.04.2014] 4 it does this so well, in little scenes and Adriaan and his family dig a grave for after J.W. Goethe’s novel from 1774 5 Summary of guidelines taken from i.a. von Fisher, nuances, that it could be used as a text- spottie and bury him. Jane et al. (2011). Adolescent Mental Health in book film. At the end the right person – Erhard Doubrawa: “I like the fact that Resource-Constrained Settings: A review of the evi- dence of the nature, prevalence and determinants of her mother – held open her arms at the the boy is there while the coffin, this common mental health problems and their manage- right moment. At this point Mille had little coffin, is being made. That they ment in primary health care. International Journal of social Psychiatry, 57 begun to face her own sorrow, which arrange a funeral together. The little (1), 9-12. was then able to be resolved. It was touchingly beautiful to watch. When it comes to emotions, there is nothing in this world that hasn’t already been experienced by millions of other people. And still it’s important for every person to be able to feel that this is, for the moment, just his or her own experience. And this is shown very nicely here. There is a time when it’s ‘too soon’ for support, for example when a school psychologist immediately sits down with Mille and tries to build bridges for processing her grief. He operated on the principle: ‘This person is grieving, we need to help her.’ There’s something very devalorising about that; it basically disallows what I am experiencing.” 27/2014/E 59 PROGRAMME RESEARCH SuiCidE: A speciAl case Degrassi, a youth series from Canada, tells of the suicide of hockey star Cam in an episode entitled “Bitter sweet symphony.” He has killed himself in the school greenhouse, and the students now have to deal with this event. The reaction of his girlfriend Maya initially seems hard to understand: she wants to practise for her big audition. We hear the voice that makes the daily announcements, accompanied by string music: “There is no right way to respond to a suicide. some of you might feel sadness, grief, anger, guilt, others may be less affected. All of these emotions are completely normal. But no matter how you feel the best thing you can do is to stay over, talk to your parents and teachers and friends and even more important: listen. Listen to what others have to say. Just know that you are not alone.” The series depicts various reactions from the friends, ranging from deep dejection, anger, self-reproaches, and thoughts of following his example to indifference and black humour. Everyone suffers in his or her own way, only Maya’s reaction seems incomprehensible. On her mobile phone she has a message from Cam saying how nice their last night together was, and that he will wait for her at lunch break to negotiate the return of her soft toy. When Maya makes a speech at the candlelight vigil in the afternoon (cf. Ill. 4), she surprises those present, and the viewers, with her remarks: “This is so stupid [long pause].

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