The Pennsylvania State University The Graduate School GIVING VOICE TO THE TRANSFORMATIVE LEARNING OF MOTHERS WHO LOST A CHILD TO SUICIDE A Dissertation in Lifelong Learning and Adult Education by Gina C. Whalen © 2020 Gina C. Whalen Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Education December 2020 ii The dissertation of Gina C. Whalen was reviewed and approved by the following: Elizabeth J. Tisdell Professor of Lifelong Learning and Adult Education Professor-in-Charge, Doctor of Education in Lifelong Learning and Adult Education Dissertation Advisor Chair of Committee Robin Redmon Wright Associate Professor of Lifelong Learning and Adult Education Gina M. Brelsford Professor of Psychology Anne A. Verplanck Associate Professor of American Studies, School of Humanities iii ABSTRACT The purpose of this study is to understand the experience of mothers who lost a child to suicide, in particular how they have learned to cope with their devastating loss. The study is grounded in two theoretical frameworks: feminist perspectives on adult learning and transformative learning theory, which explores the process of change in an individual’s taken-for- granted worldview to make the worldview more inclusive. The study is designed to combine narrative inquiry and autoethnography. The personal experiences of the researcher are intertwined with the narratives of the four participating mothers who, like the researcher, have each lost a child to suicide. Data collection consisted of two sets of semi-structured interviews with each of the four participants. An autoethnographic analysis was employed through a series of reflections on the participants’ narratives supplied during the initial interview. Data analysis revealed four interrelated themes regarding how mothers who have lost a child to suicide learn to cope and move forward after their loss. The first theme centers on the distress experienced from losing a child suddenly to suicide. The second theme of trying to make sense, reveals the existential questioning that occurs as the mothers take stock of their new reality. The third theme uncovers the meaningful sources of support that were a lifeline in easing the participants’ suffering. The fourth theme demonstrates how each of these women sought a way to help comfort and ease the pain of others. Reflecting on their personal narratives revealed new insights for the participants regarding their evolving transformative learning journeys: recognition of personal strength, motivation for further personal growth, and a hope for peace. The findings are examined in light of transformative learning theory, feminist perspectives on adult learning, and suicide bereavement literature. The study concludes with implications for theory and practice and offers suggestions for future research. iv Table of Contents LIST OF FIGURES ...................................................................................................................... xi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ........................................................................................................ xii Part One Prologue: ....................................................................................................................... 1 Autoethnography and Suicide Loss .............................................................................................. 1 Setting the Context ............................................................................................................ 4 Sisters-in-Loss ................................................................................................................... 5 Giving Voice ...................................................................................................................... 6 Organization of this Dissertation ..................................................................................... 7 Definition of Terms ........................................................................................................... 7 Judgment ........................................................................................................................... 9 Chapter 1 Introduction............................................................................................................... 10 Background of the Problem ........................................................................................... 10 Suicide Epidemic ................................................................................................ 11 Bereavement of a Suicide .................................................................................. 11 Purpose and Research Questions .................................................................................. 14 Overview of Theoretical Framework ............................................................................ 14 Transformative Learning .................................................................................. 15 Feminist Pedagogy ............................................................................................. 16 Feminist Perspective of Transformative Learning Regarding Maternal Suicide Bereavement .......................................................................................... 17 Overview of the Design and Methodology .................................................................... 22 Significance of the Study ................................................................................................ 24 Assumptions, Limitations, and Strengths ..................................................................... 26 Limitations .......................................................................................................... 26 Strengths ............................................................................................................. 27 Chapter 2 Literature Review ..................................................................................................... 29 The Societal Problem of Suicide .................................................................................... 30 Worldwide Prevalence ....................................................................................... 30 Limitations of Official Suicide Statistics .......................................................... 32 Available Resources ........................................................................................... 36 Postvention vs. Prevention ..................................................................... 36 Support Groups ...................................................................................... 38 v Facilitator Guides .................................................................................. 38 Importance of Understanding Survivors’ Experiences .................................. 41 Empirical Studies of Suicide Bereavement ...................................................... 42 Study Methodologies and Sample Sizes ................................................ 43 Participant Demographics ..................................................................... 44 Themes of Findings ............................................................................... 44 Theoretical Framework: Transformative Learning .................................................... 54 Transformative View of Adult Learning ......................................................... 54 Assumptions and Terminology .............................................................. 55 Transformative Learning Process ......................................................... 57 Diversity of Theoretical Perspectives .................................................... 60 Critique of Transformative Learning .................................................... 63 Limitations of the Transformative Learning Literature ....................... 65 Empirical Studies of Transformative Learning of Suicide Loss Survivors .. 66 Feminist Perspectives on Adult Learning ..................................................................... 67 Feminist Pedagogy ............................................................................................. 68 Knowledge Construction ........................................................................ 70 Voice and Authority ............................................................................... 72 Identity .................................................................................................... 74 Positionality ............................................................................................ 76 Models of Feminist Pedagogy ........................................................................... 77 Liberation and Gender Models .............................................................. 77 Psychological, Structural, and Poststructural Theories ....................... 78 Feminist Pedagogical Approaches to Suicide Loss Support .......................... 81 Empirical Studies at the Intersection of Transformative Learning and Feminist Pedagogy ............................................................................................. 84 Methodology of the Review .................................................................... 85 Study Methodologies and Sample Sizes ................................................ 86 Study Purposes ....................................................................................... 86 Participant Demographics ....................................................................