QUEER UTOPIAN PERFORMANCE AT TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY A Thesis by DANA NICOLE SAYRE Submitted to the Office of Graduate Studies of Texas A&M University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF ARTS May 2012 Major Subject: Performance Studies Queer Utopian Performance at Texas A&M University Copyright 2012 Dana Nicole Sayre QUEER UTOPIAN PERFORMANCE AT TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY A Thesis by DANA NICOLE SAYRE Submitted to the Office of Graduate Studies of Texas A&M University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of MASTER OF ARTS Approved by: Chair of Committee, Judith Hamera Committee Members, Kirsten Pullen Joseph O. Jewell Head of Department, Judith Hamera May 2012 Major Subject: Performance Studies iii ABSTRACT Queer Utopian Performance at Texas A&M University. (May 2012) Dana Nicole Sayre, B.A.; B.A, Fairmont State University Chair of Advisory Committee: Dr. Judith Hamera Through a combination of personal interviews and participant-observation in three field sites – the Tim Miller workshop and performance of October 2010 and the student organizations Cepheid Variable and the GLBT Aggies – I argue that manifestations of utopian desire and performance circulate within and among marginalized groups on the Texas A&M University campus, undermining the heteronormative and monolithic utopia the university attempts to present. I participated in each night of rehearsal during the Tim Miller workshop, as well as the creation and performance of my own solo autobiographical monologue as a part of the ensemble. My participant-observation in Cepheid Variable and the GLBT Aggies was concurrent, consisting of attendance at both weekly organizational meetings and outside events sponsored by the organizations over two years. I argue that the Tim Miller workshop and performance is best understood by examining the intersection of queer intimacy, utopia, and performance. I argue that processes of connection, sharing, and mutual transformation allowed it to function as an example of queer utopian performance qua performance at Texas A&M. iv I explore the links between the “nerd,” “queer,” and “family” identities of Cepheid Variable, arguing that the intersection of these identity-markers and the performance practices which reinforce them enable Cepheid Variable to create a utopian space on the Texas A&M campus for those students who do not fit traditional notions of Aggie identity. I explore two Cepheid performance practices: noise-making and storytelling, arguing that they construct, support, and interweave each element of Cepheid identity, allowing the organization to perpetuate and reaffirm its utopian and counterpublic statuses at Texas A&M. I explore what the GLBT Aggies claims to provide in theory, juxtaposed with what it actually accomplishes in practice. I examine a moment of crisis the LGBTQ community at Texas A&M faced in spring 2011. I argue that the utopia the GLBTA promises remains unfulfilled because the marginalization of the LGBTQ community at large leaves diversity within that community unaddressed. I conclude that utopian communities persist if able to adapt, and that the strength of the intimacy built into queer utopias in particular sustains them through time. v DEDICATION Anyanka: “You trusting fool. How do you know the other world is any better than this?” Giles: “Because it has to be.” – Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “The Wish” To anyone who has ever felt the here and now was not enough, and who has fought to bring a world of their hope, desire, and imagination into being. This is for you; don’t ever stop trying. vi ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS The list of individuals to which I owe my gratitude for the completion of this thesis project is great, and if I miss anyone I ought to have singled out by name, I apologize. I will start at the beginning with my mother, who read me stories every night of my childhood, maxed out both her and my father’s library cards every summer until I was old enough to get my own so that my sister and I had mountains of good books to read, and who served as my forensics coach in high school when none of the English teachers would. I know that her actions inspired the deep love I have felt for stories and storytelling from as far back as I can remember, and it was that love which ultimately brought me to Texas A&M University. I must also thank my sister, Lisa, who let me play teacher growing up even though I was two-and-a-half years younger than she was, and who proofread every paper I wrote in high school and college, helping to shape me into the writer I am today. I also want to thank my Grandma Julie, may she rest in peace, for reminding me to stop and smell the roses, for always being proud of me for staying in school, and for never caring how much homework I did when we came to visit her. I also want to thank every great teacher I had in elementary, middle, and high school – those who fed my hunger for knowledge and encouraged me to do better than my best. I especially want to thank my second and third grade teacher Mrs. Gunno for telling me of her mission trip to Portugal, and how the children ate what was left after the adults were finished. She told us she never cleaned her plate that entire trip, and that vii was my first introduction to activism. I also want to thank Mr. O’Connell, the man who first showed me that history isn’t boring at all; the way some people write textbooks is. I owe an immense debt of gratitude to Dr. John O’Connor, Dr. Francene Kirk, Jeffrey Ingman, and Troy Snyder for providing me a foundational education as a theatre practitioner, and for molding me not only as an actor and a scholar, but as a human being. Thank you for casting me in roles you knew would challenge me, and for providing me both opportunities and funding so that I could continue to grow and learn beyond the classroom. I also know I put you all through Hell and more after I was outed to my parents, and I won’t ever forget that you never gave up on me, even when I almost did. I also want to thank you for all the letters of recommendation I had you write to get me into graduate school, and for finding the program at Texas A&M and thinking of me. I want to thank Fran especially for introducing me to ethnography, and for teaching me the importance of telling the stories of whatever community in which I find myself. I am also grateful to Crystal and Debbie Conner for opening up their home and their hearts to me my last few years of college, and for providing an environment of love and support. I am so grateful that you allowed me to store half my belongings with you when I moved to Texas, and that I know I will always be welcome where you are. Crystal – you are such a joy and the dearest friend to me. I was blessed enough to have one sister by birth, and I am beyond blessed to have found you, too. I of course owe many thanks to the Department of Performance Studies at Texas A&M University for choosing to accept me into the first class of their Master of Arts program. Thank you for all of your support and guidance and for teaching me the history viii of the discipline I’d been practicing unconsciously long before I knew it had a name. Thank you for bringing in all the guest artists and speakers which have fortified my growth as both an artists and a scholar. Thank you, Dr. Joseph Jewell for agreeing to be my outside committee member and for introducing me to the Sociology of Education while respecting and encouraging my interdisciplinary approach to your class. Thank you, Dr. Kirsten Pullen for giving us room to cry in our first semester of graduate school, but for always making us accountable to “cowgirl up,” too. Thank you for being such a positive role model of what Feminist/Queer scholarship can look like, and for sitting on my committee. Thank you, Dr. Judith Hamera for being my thesis advisor, and for providing such a strong ethical background to my understanding of ethnographic methods. I cannot express how much I look up to you as a role model for the kind of scholar and woman I someday hope to be. Thank you for always having my back, for keeping me on track, and for your uncanny ability to make me feel more confident and intelligent after our meetings no matter how unsure of myself I was when I walked in. Thank you also to my graduate cohort. We’ve been through a lot together, and I couldn’t have made it this far without you. I especially want to thank Andreea for all the late night tea and conversation, as well as for reading drafts of everything I ever wrote in graduate school. You were my extra pair of eyes, and I am so grateful for the way you’ve expanded my thinking. I also feel so lucky to have been able to bond with you as an “outsider” to Texas culture, and I don’t know how I would have survived my time in Texas without your friendship and support. ix I of course owe many thanks to all of my interlocutors, whether or not I have quoted you in the pages which follow.