13 1916 Friday, December 5, 1997 1
by Greg E. Norman the Web site or working with the HIRKMIf K KDITOKIAI. STAKK complaining companiesLJawyers to find another solution. Students who use trademarks, Bass said the student is ultimately logos and song excerpts on their responsible for content on his or her Web pages may be committing seri- page. The university provides server ous copyright violations, risking space but bears no legal responsibil- fines of,up to $100,000, Assistant. ity for what is posted on pages cre- Dean of Student Judicial Programs ated by students. Patty Bass said. Rice does not police student Web "We have been becoming more pages for possible copyright concerned because of complaints of violations. The official copyright violations that have been lodged policy, which can be found on-line against Rice students by a number at httpZ/riceinfo. rice.edu/about/ of different companies," Bass said. copyright.html, states that Rice "will Two recent instances have drawn not exercise prior restraint on WWW attention to the copyright policy. publishers' decisions with regard to >1 Ilie Recording Industries Associa- copyright. However, we will respond tion of America located two Rice to complaints from outside the uni- Web sites that contained copy- versity, and take action to remove righted songs and sent "cease and copyright-violating materials which desist" letters to the Rice University are brought to our attention." Counsel's office. A group of Rice faculty, led Assis- "RIAA, represented by their law tant University Librarian for Library vers, the Anti-Piracy Council, com- Information Technology Kay Mow- HtMMY SO/RlCt TMRPSMIf • Terri Lebron, bassist and lead vocalist for local Houston band Schrasj, Jams at KTRU Tuesday night. The live plained that the sites contained full- ers, is working on revising the copy- performance was one of their first since reuniting several weeks ago. length songs that could be down- right policy to better cover on-line loaded by other users," University publishing issues. Along with revis- Counsel Joe Davidson said. ing the policy, Flowers said that she The sites, one of which contained wants to develop educational mate- over 100 songs, removed the audio rial to explain the issues to student EMS, police protect drunks' identities files from their home pages rather Web publishers. than face litigation. "We don't think anyone is pur- r ';; |§iv "We want the students to know posefully violating the policy or the by Usman Baber do try to be as lenient as is "legally possible," he said . ; that they may be unintentkmaUy vio- law. Hie university community is THRESHER EOrmUAI. STAFF they cannot turn their heads when faced with flagrant • lating the copyright laws, and this is just not as well-informed as they violations. a serious matter," Bass said. could be," Flowers sakl. "We are Rice students should not be concerned about serious Both EMS officers and Husley said their main re So far, no Rice student has been trying to develop educational mate- punishment or other negative repercussions when call- sponsibility is to offer aid to intoxicated students, either sued for copyright infringement. rials and workshops to help spread ing Emergency Medical Services to help an intoxicated through medical means or disciplinary actions. "We've been able to avoid litigation the word." friend. "Even though I disagree with underage drinking, 1 on all of this — either by stopping Additionally, the RIAA is pub- Rice EMS captain Noah Reiter said, "If you're con believe this policy provides a safety net for those who do the violation orconvincing the orga- lishing a guide to Internet copyright cerned enough to approach me, then worrying about choose to drink," Lovett College freshman James nizatioionthan that \w e aren't violating their issues. Bass said that the guide will what punishment may or may not be given is not worth Eubankssaid."! think this policy is important it it means copyrights,rights," Davidson said. be available to the Rice community jeopardizing a life." that people will get medical attention if they need it." Companies who fear that Web during the spring semester. In the past, students have expressed concern about Husley said the recent increase in alcohol violations page designers are misusing their Hanzsen college computer asso contacting EMS because patients' names were given to is not attributed solely to Rice students but in a law copyrighted property use Internet ciatejohn Cloudman said that most Campus Police, and this might have led to disciplinary part to non-Rice students using areas on the campus to programs—called bots—to search students don't really know that they action through the University Court. However, EMS get together and drink. Also, of the 1249 cases reported Web pages for infringements. may be violating the copyright laws, Lieutenant Richard Escott said that a new policy which to the EMS from Oct. 4, 19% through Sept. K>. 199'/,. When a company discovers a especially when the infringement is began six weeks ago keeps patients' names confidential only 19 were alcohol cases. copyright violation on a page main- as minor as putting a company's logo unless a "police incident" is created. Any reports generated from these cases were then tained by a Rice student, it contacts on your page. "Anything that has a Incidents that warrant police involvement include forwarded to the University Court and Assistant Dean Office of the General Counsel or the copyright you can't legally put on acts of aggression by the intoxicated person and acts of Student Judicial Affairs Patricia Bass to determine Office of Student Judicial Programs. your Web page without contacting where obvious criminal activity is involved, These are whether or not a violation of the alcohol policy had These offices refer the complainant the company," he said. instances over which EMS has no control, Escott said. occurred. to the User Services Department of Hanzsen senior Dan Lajiness, Rice Campus Police Corporal Les Husley said that Publicly intoxicated students might receive 10 hours • j» M Information Technology. User Ser- who has created his own homepage, when Campus Police officers do accompany EMTs to of community service and a disciplinary warning, and vices visits the page in question to was unaware of how strict Rice's the scene of a call, their function is not to arrest or report underage students found drinking can receive 10 hours a determine if the material allegedly copyright policy is. "I'm not that anyone, but rather to aid in-transport or to meet, ambu- of community service, a disciplinary warning, manda- in violation of copyright laws is worried about my own site, because lances. 0 tory counseling and an evaluation. posted on the site: I only have a few small pictures. 1 Also, if a campus police officer does encounter an University Court Chair Brandy Rutan said the II. "We get complaints through the have don't have anything on there intoxicated student on campus, a police report will not Court does consider mitigating circumstances, and just% Counsel's office, and what we do is thaf would cause a big deal," Lajiness necessarily be filed on the person. because a police report is'generated on a person it does see if the complaint is valid. If some- said. "But I've worked on other pages Instead, the officer might contact a flrunksitter or an not mean that.a violation has occurred. "Definitely thing does need to removed, we that borrowed from other Web sites EMT for medical assistance, and the name of the stu- contact the EMTs to help [a drunk person), because it block access to the site from out- quite a bit." dent could be given to the master. is their policy and Campus Police policy that they will 111 side the Rice community," Director Bass said that Rice is trying to Husley said, however, that once a master is notified not warrant a report," she said of User Services Andrea Martin said. work with"companies to help pre- about an intoxicated student, any further disciplinary Eubanks said, "If I thought [a drunk person] was in At this point, the student has the vent- students from breaking actions concerning that student are no longer in the harm's way, I'd turn them in. One's personal safety is option of removing the material from copyright laws. control of the Campus Police, Although Campus Police more important than any action the school could take." Rice cable channel airs international news variety of videos, primarily adver- The board's jnajor plan for the by Eunice Song tisements for plays, parties and other OPINION Page 2 IHRE9HKR STAH" WRI11 R near future is to raise money through Anastasia opens functions. fundraisers and requests for a blan- CODOHad provokes responses Hie student-ru n Rice Cable chan- In the future, when the number ket tax of about $2 to $3 taken from at area theaters nel is up and running, airing video of videos exceeds playing time, the a portion of each student's tuition. SPORTS Page 12 advertisements for Rice events and five-member board heading the Hie board also set up a booth at Twentieth Century Fox pre- An Ode to golf at Herman Hark television news for the first time. cable channel project will have to be the Holiday Bazaar in the Grand sents the charming story of Rice has had cable channels 2,5 and more discerning when deciding Hall Thursday to help earn funds for young love, lost family mem- Saturday 11 since 1995, but campus lectures which videos to air. various camera equipment. bers and powerful sorcery, all - % * and the Rice Web page were the The board hopes, with commit- Another agenda item is raising set against the backdrop one of' Partly cloudy, 43 57" * Sunday £ ; only programs aired until now^ ment from Rice students, that the more publicity about the channel the bloodiest revolutions in $ Mostly sunny, a great day for touch I^ast week's debut of the cable channel could 1m? home to regularly itself and encouraging students to modern history (ootball in the front yard. 49 60 channel, broadcast from the Opera- run broadcast shows of various become involved by submitting vid- Fox demonstrates that if you tions Center at Mudd I^ab, included themes. This will be a possibility if eos or working with the channel hire cartoonists from Disney, S< oM'hn.m! a video advertisement for the Rice the board buys more advanced cam- firsthand. revise a historical story like Football '; if 4 Players' production of the Agatha era equipment The bo&rd only has "Many of the students aren't even Disney and market an animated Rice 17, UTEP 13 Christie play Towards Zero. The $25 presently and needs several aware that they can get camera film like Disney, then people Women's Basketball channel ctfrrently airs international thousands of dollars more in order equipment from their colleges or will come out to see your movie Colorado 53, Rice 49 television news from the School of to have access to the expensive can rent such equipment," board just as if it were a Disney film. Men's Basketball letters, Arts and Sciences. equipment necessary to run such member and Baker College junior Story, Page 10 South Florida 49. Rice 46 For now, the channel accepts a shows. See CABLE. Page 7
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\ •»/ • VilV \v * If Rice were a country, what kind of government would it have? That's the question recently apparent manifestations of the university's decision-making apparatus begs us to ask. The answer, for good or ill, is this: Rice is essentially an authoritarian state irr miniature. |tei Student organizations, of course, are largely based on democratic !|fl W&> ' : principles. The Student Association Senate and the college cabinets are regulated by constitutions and composed of elected leaders who make decisions based on majority vote. But student government* has-na* control over the really big questions, such as the creation of new i; university buildings or departments, the setting of tuition or the organi- zation of the C ollege Food Service. Hie deans, vice presidents, president and, ultimately, the Board of Governors decide all of those matters, even if they do claim to do so with our best interests in mind. Ostensibly benevolent dictatorships, from the National Convention of revolutionary France, to the Velasco regime in 1970s Peru. to the ruling parties in countries like Indonesia today, usually allow relatively free, public debate of their policies. But they are unwilling to give any serious consideration to beliefs which, no matter how widely held, conflict with their o\Vn fundamental principles. Programs and decisions, including even the most unselfish, populist LETTERS TO THE EDITOR measures, are debated and made in secret, without keeping minutes or any other form of public record. able historical fact has caused the tory who have written a most sen- They are settled in essentially the same way at Rice. At its December Malicious ad caused West to re-examine centuries of anti- sible and learned letter regarding meeting, the Board of Governors will vote on Rice's landmark first-ever pain to community Semitism. In disputing the the advertisement of Holocaust de- strategic plan, which is supposed to provide for the building of a ninth Holocaust's reality, the deniers hope niers (CODOH) printed in tfie Nov. college, the rebuilding of Wiess College and the Graduate House and to make anti-Semitism publicly ac- 21 Thresher. Holocaust deniers mas- numerous other matters related or unrelated to campus buildings. To {he editor: ceptable once again. querade as legitimate scholars of Anonymous sources have even told us that the building of a 10th college As one of the country's leading As historians, we would like to history who seek to engage the un- is also on the agenda. civil rights agencies, the Anti-Defa- emphasize that no professional his- suspecting in the idea that the geno- Regardless of whether one believes the university should have eight, mation league strives to protect torian gives the slightest degree of cide of the Jews by the German Nazi nine, 10 or 20 colleges, that the decision to add another college to Rice people's First Amendment rights to credence to the deniers' claims. In government of 1933-'45 is debatable free speech and assembly. However, choosing to run this ad, the current and open to question. While no one might be made without the input of students, or even their knowledge, we are deeply concerned when those editors of the Thresher ignored the at Rice might seek to lend legiti- is deplorable. rights are abused to distort atroci- paper's editorial precedent. (The macy and credence to the Holocaust Students, it seems, are transitory and easily marginalized. As under- ties which are well-documented his- 1993 and 1996 editors decided not to deniers, the fact that the student graduates, we spend only four or five years here, although the continual torical facts. run a similar ad as a matter of prin- paper at Rice, for whatever reason, overlap creates an illusion of continuity. Faculty, staff and administra- It is difficult to take lightly The ciple.) Moreover, when other uni- would publish the ad gives the Holo- tion, on the other hand, are here for a significant length of time. Rice Thresher's decision to publish a versity newspapers have decided to caust deniers what they want: to Conscious of the past, their perspective and anticipation of the near Holocaust denial advertisement that run the ad, the vast majority have have the idea that the Holocaust can .future reflect an awareness that we as students must make some effort contained blatant untruths and published accompanying editorial be debated advertised in a reputable to achieve. We are disadvantaged in power, in information, and in single- whose purpose was to"promote divi- disclaimers and/or called for public campus paper. mindedness. sion and hatred. As explained to us refutation. Further, by running this It is the idea that the Holocaust is by The Rice Thresher staff, the ad, the current editors have violated debatable to which I object, precisely Important decisions at Rice, like almost every other university, are newspaper's policy is to reject ads if their own editorial guidelines, which because the facts of the Holocaust made by some kitid of administration-appointed committee examines they contain lies or misrepresenta- specifically prohibit accepting ads are not in doubt. While Holocaust related issues and makes a recommendation on them. The minority tion. The Holocaust denial ad which containing known falsehoods (as deniers wish to couch the argument •student members of such committees — whether token representation appeared in the newspaper Nov 21 stated by Editor in Chief Angelique of publication in terms of the First <>r co-opted power, whether selected at random or by application — did both by denying the validity of Siy at a meeting Dec. 1). In publish- Amendment, it is not a legitimate cannot represent the diversity of opinions of the student body, its what is probably the most well-docu- ing this inflammatory and mislead- First Amendment issue. Rather, it is Roussean "general will" (if such exists), or its rightful collective power mented event in history and by mis- ing ad, based upon arguments eas- the fact that legitimate historical The usual reason given for concentrated, high-handed power, is quoting people. There is no debate ily and repeatedly demonstrated as scholarship is challenged. When we false, the Thresher gfa£^egitimacy secrecy: "Because major undertakings cannot proceed without donor about the Holocaust, There are no as a university community allow the two positions on this subject. It to and endorses the position of established methodology of the money, and donors only lend their support to fully-formed, already- happened! CODOH while making a mockery of discipline of history to be challenged, approved plans, concrete projects must be developed and funding The First-Amendment does not genuine historical debate and re- See ADVERTISEMENT. Page 5 secured before they are made public. grant people the right to have false sponsible journalism. But that precludes any real community-wide discussion and any real or defamatory ads printed in a news- Given the Thresher editors' pre- student involvement in decision making. It would seem that paper. We deplore the unnecessary dilection for invoking the First the university's major donors (often alumni), people who recognize the pain and suffering inflicted upon the Amendment, it is. important to point CONTACTING THE value of free thought, might be persuaded thatthere is value in empow Rice community and the general out that there is no free speech issue ering students and in allowing them to take a significant part in decision public as a result of the publication involved here. 'Die First Amendment making. • of this advertisement. primarily perulns to government regulation Of communication. Edi- Letters Trying out tli^t idea would-^le a real test of how benevolent our We are confident that the accep- tance of this ad for publication was torial responsibility requires routine 9 Letters to the editor dictatorship really is. not done maliciously. However, it evaluation and, as appropriate, re- should be sent to the Thresher did reflect bad judgment. It is our jection of advertisements and other by mail, fax, e-mail to hope that the Thresher will publicly submissions. Indeed, the Thresher [email protected] or be deliv- repudiate the contents of the aid and itself "reserves the right to refuse ered in person. Letters must take reasonable measures to avoid any advertising for any reason." Why be received by 5 p.m. on the Insidious advertising similar incidents in the future. not in this case? Monday prior to a Friday pub- Louis E. Silver The appearance of this ad is a lication date In our ia§t issue, we t'an an ad that some of you may not have noticed. Chair, Southwest Region disgrace to the entire university com- • All letters must be signed But many other readers could not ignore the ad, printed on Page 13 of Jonathan Bernstein munity. It is an insult to the memory and include a phone number. the Nov. 21 issue — the letters we have received, and the conversations Director, Southwest Region of all who died in the Holocaust. Rice students and alumni must we have taken part in prove that much. The Anti-Defamation league Finally, it is a betrayal of the interna- include their college and year. tional standards of human rights that The Thresher(lid not run the ad thinking it would hurt anyone. We did We will withold names upon emerged out of modernity's confron- request. not believe that printing the ad would lend any credence to Holocaust CODOH ad disgraces tation with the horrors of mass ex- • The Thresher reserves the deniers' ridiculous position university community termination. right to edit letters for both We regret that it did. If the editors of the Thresher cm- content and length. Iliose who deny that the Holocaust happened, like the so-called mi understand the moral and his- Institute for Historical Review and Committee for Open Debate on the . To the editor: torical issues at stake, then perhaps News Tips Holocaust, intentionally ignore fact to promote their agenda, which is to We deplore the publication of an they should resign. • Tips for possible news sto- advance anti-Semitism. They offend both Holocaust survivors and their advertisement placed by the so- Judith Brown, Dean of Humanities ries should be phoned in to descendants in doing so. called "Committee for Open Debate All Faculty Members of the History the ThreSherM (713) 527-4801. This is not a First Amendment issue. It is an issue of judgment. on the Holocaust (CODOH)," in the ^ Department Nov. 21, issue of The Rice Thresher. Editor and Associate Editors of.the ; Subscribing. Our advertising policy, as stated on Page 3, is that "The Thresher CODOH is a Tront organization for Journal of Southern History m Sublfcriptions are avail- reserves the right to refuse any advertising for any reason. Additionally, the Institute of Historical Review, a able for §40.00 domestic and the Thresher does not take responsibility for the factual content of any well-known group of Holocaust de- $90.00 international via first ad." In other words, we exercise full discretionary power over the niers and Nazi sympathizers. Their Rewriting history class mail. decision to print or not print all ads. The policy will be used to refuse intention is to dupe the public into similar advertisements in the future. believing that there is rational dis- breeds hate, genocide Advertising Ironically enough, that ad helped pay for the space on which the agreement among professional his- m We accept both display and classified advertisements. letters running fhis week are "printed. torians about the occurrence of the To the editor: Contact the Thresher for more As a gesture of'.good will,, we have donated the revenue from the ad Holocaust. Since 1945, the magni- I applaud my courageous col- tude ofthr Holocaust as an indisput- information. to the Houston Holocaust Museum. leagues in theDepartment of Hi*-- ^ V,| '111 . mm !"! "I
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quo not be able to meld thtl e world to or into my idea of a paradise, but I can y the That's what we tell ourselves. It's affect my response to it and what it le who basically a big lie. By the throws my way. I can take control of In the interest of full journalis- much more fun, but most of us [, and time things have "calmed myself and the responsibility for at tic disclosure, I should reveal that have progressed past the instant all I can do is wonder down enough," they will least giving the people I care about I started writing this column at gratification stage of psychologi- where they learned to talk no longer seem worth the information they need to treat' 4:25 p.m. Monday, approximately cal development and.are able to so much while saying so bringing up. The subjects me the way I want to be treated, and 35 minutes before factor in the possible little. Then it hit me — will have passed, and the they can do this for me, too. deadline. mr ym consequences of our politicians aren't the only pain will have been for- As much as 1 would like to be a I'm sure that my choices when making ones playing that game. gotten. We can live on in mind reader at times, I'm not one, current situation is fa- pf * a decision While We all do it, and a lot of the the happy bubble we have and neither are they. We all need a miliar to most Rice stu- you're sitting then- fig time we are not even aware created through well- little help when it comes to seeing dents. We've all felt the watching the Pop-up ' if: Anne ill that we're doing it. timed silence. where the other person is coming inescapable weight on Video Marathon (obvi- Just think back to the In the end, however, from. Without open (which usually the shoulders that ously not just for enter- last "serious" conversation this does not work. All of implies awkward) communication, comes from putting off tainment value), that ill you had. Most likely, your mental the unsaid things between people no one has a chance to act or react an assignment until paper is looming ever H voice had a lot to say that your physi- cause the problems, the fights, the appropriately. the last possible mo- larger. cal one didn't. break-ups that we so wanted to avoid. So, remember that, though at ment. Procrastination Blocher A rational person Now, I'll be the first to admit, at I received an e-mail a few weeks times it's good to keep your thoughts seems to be a hobby would say, "If I get my times, that can be good. Without a ago from someone 1 had not talked to yourself (like when you realize for Rice students, as paper done, 1 can do mind-mouth blocker, many of us to in two years. At first, it seemed your friend's new boyfriend is just I'm sure it is for students every- something fun, without feeling would have thousands more regrets strange, but then good. A lot of things about the ugliest thing you've ever where. lite big question is: Why guilty about it."The average Rice and numerous more apologizes to had been left unsaid, and the seen), this practice can also lead to do we do it? student, on the other hand, would make than we already do. However, misunderstandings which came some pretty big disasters.,. Thipk about this situation: You take a somewhat different tac k: there are times when the block need s from that led to a fight with a super- Think about what you really want, have an English paper that you "VH1 sucks, but I'd rather watch to be dropped, times when having it ficial motive neither of us can re- both from yourself and from the haven't started due a week from another Hootie and the Blowfisli up can cause more damage than member. I asked him at one point in person who are dealing with, and today. You could (A) start it or video than start my paper." letting it go. the ensuing correspondence why he then make the right move — not the (B) watch the Thanksgiving epi- Perhaps all the work we've Especially now, it often seems had written after all this time. His easy or convenient one, but the right sode of "South Park" again. Most done in order to get into Rice has easier to leave things unsaid. Be- reply was simple: Regret is a bad one. the one which will maintain the of us are going to choose option conditioned us to regard stress tween exams, the holidays, winter thing. relationship in the long run. B, even though we know in doing as our natural state. lTiis attitude break plans and — for some of us — I have been thinking about old You do not want to end up stand- so that we're setting ourselves up is gottd in the sense that most job interviews or graduate school relationships and current ones which ing in the middle of the street won- for stress later. Rice students can deal with mas applications, there is just too much tend towards the rocky side a lot dering why t he other person is walk- Some people defend their sive amounts of work without to do. We tell ourselves that the lately, and what keeps coming to ing away, even if it means opening work avoidance with the old i breaking down, but it's also bad fight or possible discomfort is not mind is the serenity prayer made yourself up a bit beyond your com- work better under pressure" ex- in that we sometimes delude our worth the possible good which famous at least in part by Alcoholics fort zone. In the end, it really is cuse. I'll concede that pressure selves into thinking that life's comes from complete honesty. We Anonymous. It says, "God grant me worth the trouble. supposed to be stressful go through the motions and remind the serenity to accept the things 1 Stress has become'something ourselves that some day, when can not change, the courage to Anne Kimbol is advertising manager Stress has become of a status symbol, conferring things calm down, we will tell our change the things I can Change and and a Baker College senior. upon its owner a kind of .prestige something of a sta tus and mystique. We've all heard people having competitive con LEGOPGM symbol, conferring versations at lunch about how •HI many assignments they have due upon its owner a tomorrow. Generally, th<- Why little plastic blocks can save the world "winner" is the person who has of prestige and postponed the most work. Christmas suddenly de- come with all sorts of social nocms. a city that will actually have a white mystique, But what has this person won' scended on the city about two weeks 1 mean, golf is a game, but where's Christmas. (Rice got a boring essay, A riighf of computer light instead ago. We turned from Shepherd onto the fun in trying to impress your but it's a better school.) of sleep? A hurried, sloppy papei West Gray and were greeted by doz- colleagues and improve your,swing? And, last week, when 1 was hav- instead of a well-planned one? Is ens of palm trees entwined Computers are pricy arid, ing a really bad day, I got a bean-hag can help a person focus, but it's it really worth it? in little white lights, and I well, sort of geeky. platypus in the mail and discovered not so beneficial that its rewards I'm certainly not advocating thought to myself, "It's Or you can go for really that nothing cheers me up like a outweigh the negative conse- work every afternoon: ()ften there that timeof year already?" fast cars, but those are con- platypus in the pocket of my fleece quences. really is something better to do. . These days, the begin- siderably more expensive sweatshirt - . The explanation that makes If you'd rather play soccer than ning of Christmas means than a LEGO set. and when So there's my suggestion for you r the most sense to me, though, is do your Orgo. and putting the e that Rice students (and probably assignment off will not completely finals, traffic and finding a. you lose control, it's much Christmas shopping. Nobody's too ride to the airport. v better to break the wing mature for toys. In fact, if they think college students'iri general) have sink you, by. all means, go As if to make up for BJHl on your LEGO jet than to they are, it's a certain sigiT^/ either a masochistic fascination with ahead and play. But ifyou're plan- that, though, Toys 'R' lis Christof end up wrapped around a immaturity or a boring personality. stress. How else can you explain ning on spending the evening ads start showing up in telephone pole. And office I think Target has LEGOs on sale an otherwise clearly intelligent staring at the television or rear the Sunday paper. Spieler supplies, while they pro- this week, and IKEA has .a really person choosing table tennis over ranging that sock drawer again, Now, I realize that toys vide myriad opportunities cute stuffed yak for $2 or so. Come Diff-E homework, knowing that at least give a thought to are supposed to be for kids. Thus, for the creative, aren't quite as cute on, you know you want it. the consequences probably in- Monday's work. one day I took my beloved LEGOs as, say, RoboDuck (see below). clude a night of intense, hurried and exiled them to the garden shed Here's an image foryou: Malcolm Christof Spieler (Sid '97) is design work culminating in an hour of Joseph Blocher is an opinion edi in favor .of activities befitting my Gillis kneeling on the floor »f his consultant and a graduate student in sleep? tor and a Hanszen College fresh new-found maturity. ornate office with a bunch of little civil engineering Obviously, table tennis is man. I cheated once or twice and snuck action figures; It's the Faculty, evil into the shed to build a plane or two. knights from the East set to pillage At Target, 1 sometimes looked and plunder. Here comes Sir around to see if anyone was watch- Malcolm of the Ivory Tower with a 11te Rice Thresher, the official student ing and went into the toy section, dozen men in shining armor and a newspaper at Rice University since' HJH>, is prepared to pretend that 1 was just particularly nifty catapult. Kabloom! published each Friday during the school year, buying a gift. But it always seemed Pow! ... until ... "Dr. Gillis, it's the the Rice Thresher except during examination periods and just a bit shameful. president of Kazhakstan." holidays, by the students of Kite University. Playing is a wonderful thing. It's Yes, it's a strange thought. But, I Joel Hardi, Angetlque Siy Editorial and business offices are located a little world where you can be in hope for the sake of the university Editors in Chief on the second floor of the l**y Student Center, total control for a bit, at least until that it's true. (And while he's at it, 6100 Main St., MS-524, Houston, TX 77005- you run out of the pieces you need .Gillis could give his guest a LEGO 1892. Phone (713)527-4801. Fax (713)285- It's an outlet for creativity. It's/ww. castle. It's more useful than, say, a Summer Durham Anne Kimbpl 5238. E-mail: thresher&rice.edu. WWW Business Manager ' Advertising Manager There are toys for adults, too. crystal owl. and it may prevent a war homepage: http://www rice.edu/thresher But, they tend to be expensive and or two.) Subscription rate: $40.00 domestic. SW So, I've concluded that we all NEWS CALENDAR international. Non-subscription rate, first copy ought to be playing with toys. Maya Balakrishnan, Editor free, second copy 5 pounds. I personally credit LEGOs with Susan Egeland, Editor Amy Krivohtavek. Editor tJsman Baber, Awl Editor much of who I am today (whether CORY ITie Thresher reserves the right to refuse Greg Norman, /tssf Editor any advertising for any reason. Additionally, this is a good thing or not is another Rob PrentiiV Editor issue). I spent my.childhood build- Mariel Tarn, Editor the Thresher does not take responsibility for OPINION the factual content of any ad. ing elaborate worlds on the con- Joseph Blocher, Editor Rose Wilde, Editor crete deck around the pool, with Brian Stoler, Editor RNOTOORARHV Unsigned editorials represent the majority castles, cities, Air Force bases, sail- Austin White, Editor A*TS * ENTERTAINMENT Amy Krivohlavek, A?sf Editor opinion of the 7*rMAer editorial staff All other ing ships cruising between the Eric Muftoz, Editor pieces represent solely th# opinion of the chalked-in banks of mighty rivers, Hemmy So, Editor ONUNE author. dams, bridges and anything else I Jace Frey, Editor could dream up. It made me want to Zach Bonig. Asst. Ed/lor The 7!ir«|fiM'isamembeTofthe Associated be an engineer. It made me want to Timothy Werner, Editor Collegiate Press, College Media Advisers and Jos^Xuis Cubria, Asst. Editor Christof Spieler, Design Consultant be an architect. It gave me an eye for Society of Professional Journalists. The Carter ErooMng, Pagt Dtsigntr Packy Saunders, Ad hod. Manager Thresher is rated an ACP All-American Jill liiompMn, Asst. Ad Manager design. It opened my eyes to the newspaper The Thresher killed Kenny Us details that make the world. •ACKPAQE Eric Mufloz, Macintosh Manager Terry Cartter, Editor Brian Stoler, Distribution Manager bastards! In fact, I wrote a college admis- Parky Sounders. Editor Ttmothy Werner, Office Manager sions essay about it, and it impressed © COPYRIGHT 1997 my English teacher and got me into a prestigious engineering school in prEfl'li ! Ht' : '' •' ?"'C ! dBbam &M •IP ;' . -"fililw pw^*w|| lifife !
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Ssk Inline skating is by no means a cent people on wheels, with no big it risk-free sport: One misstep, and metal cage surrounding them for you could be a part of the road. But protection, are required to yield to rollerblading also doesn't have to be motor vehicles, so I read it again. life-threatening. Well, that Thus, skaters — moving is, unless you'd tike to in the direction of traffic The University of Houston IMW Center is considered skate at Rice. flow, of course — must On campus, you have yield to 2,000-pound ve- one of the leading urban law school sin the nation, two choices for where to hicles, even though the Among our strengtfjijmt: skate: on the pebble paths cars may be coming up or on the roads. The behind them! I defy any- mhu. M pebble paths are uncom- one to actually do this: To •ft# ,w • fortable for skating, be- manage it, you'd either cause they are so bumpy. need some kind of rear- Specialized programs in Environmental Law, Health Law, The campus roads, par- view mirror, or eyes in Intellectual Npity, Legal Aid Clinic;, Mexican Legal ticularly the Inner Loop, the back of your head. would not be particularly Ifmy only contact with StiidWai*^ Advocacy. dangerous if it weren't for these rules had been read the Rice University Traffic and Park- ing them in the regulations, I prob- • Internationally recognfa^|(c»Uy ing Regulations. ably would have thought little of Section IIC includes the require- them — I mean, could you imagine ment that "skaters and skateboard- a Campus Police officer actually stop- • Superior education at a fraction of the price of other law ers ... travel in the direction of traf- ping someone for skating the wrong fic flow." At first glance, this may way? It may be hard to imagine, but schools seem fine and logical: Bikes and beware: They really will stop you. A cars move in the same direction, so friend of mine has been stopped no why shouldn't skaters? In reality, fewer than three times for High placement and bar passage rates however, this makes no sense at all. rollerblading in the opposite direc- : • . .. , *. Skaters are much more like pe- tion of traffic. It's ridiculous. Though destrians than cars or bikes. Like she has been lucky so far, she could Full-time and part-time programs available walkers, they have no protection in have been-fined $ 10 for offense num- the case of a collision and no rear- ber 16, "Skater or skateboarder fail view mirrors to check what's com- ing to yield right-of-way to pedes- Located in an exciting city with the 6th largest legal ing up behind them. For this reason, trian or vehicle traffic, or traveling community in the country skaters should be allowed, or even against vehicular traffic flow." mandated, to skate against traffic, After much thought, I think I can just as pedestrians are advised to do now understand the faulty reason- on roads that do not have sidewalks. ing that could have led Rice to enact i or further information contact The reasoning is simple: It's better such rules, Americans, and particu- to let the skater be in control of his larly Houstonians, are quite attached University of Houston or her own safety. 1 know I'd rather to their motor vehicles. We seem to Law Center rely on rny own abilities to avoid an think that this mode of transporta- accident than blindly accept that tion is superior to all others, and t hat Of fice of Admissions someone in a car or truck behind me everyone should defer to might of 4800 Calhoun — who could be drunk, just plain the Car. In this context, it almost Houston, TX 77204-6391 careless or stupid — will avoid run- makes sense to make these kinds of (713)743-1070 ning me over. rules. Which is more important: the This "safety precaution" is unfair comfort of drivers, or the safety of K-Mial: Admissions (e www.uh.edu and unsafe, but to my surprise, when those silly people engaging in ab- Please Visit our Website I reread section IIC, I realized that normal, un-American ways of get- http://www.law.uh.edu there was another clause in the rules ting around?The university's priori- for skaters. "Skaters and skateboard- ties are certainly clear. ers are required to yield to both pedestrian and vehicle traffic ... ."I Brian Stoler is an opinion editor, was in disbelief. It was simply be- distribution manager and a Hanszen yond my comprehension that inno- College freshman.
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THE RICE THRESHfcR OWNION FRIDAY. 5, 1997 ;v—" '• " i^apiffpiiipi , , TOTH
ST. from ftyjr f> My own brief search found the Merit Scholars attend volvement to disseminatatethe thei< r covertly most often quoted tuition at private school; private school st Uvea* j lied rhetoric, why should the schools to be less than $2,000 per higher on every stand • be any different? year, about half the value of the devised and minority st II 3 Darya V. Pollak voucher awards to be made avail- attend private schools ha clans. WiVss College freshman able in the Washington, D.C., pro- ized test scores that eqi lie uchools 1 Il aa m not suggesting that profes gram, and quite a bit less than the non-minority students, It is prcciscly b^csusc art sors "trim thie fat" and give us less $5,565 per year it costs to educate a ment that the public and education are so important that work. The opposite approach is ap- Opponents of vouchers never come close to matching, the government and its only re- propriate. If a professor truly be ignore the evidence claims Ebonics notwithstandi source. coercion, must let them lieves that students willI gaigainn frofromm ai curi- I suppose we shoul alone. certain book or lecture, they should ous that the ACLU could come up more billions at an antiqi Chris Klick incorporate that material into the To the editor: with a "median cost" that is five to 10 liticized, bloated and Hanszen College sophomore course grade. Otherwise, we will be I'd like to direct the attention of times higher than anything I could ing education system that striving separately for the content your staff and the Rice student body find. spends three times as much, and the grade, achieving less on to the collection of misguided opin- I certainly won't sit here and ac- dent as any Catholic school and j Learning and grading both counts. ions in the column by Peter L-ot on cuse an ACLU that is heavily sup- far less in return. Certainly, the pres- don't go hand in hand This is something I hope all we school vouchers ("School vouchers ported by the National Education ervation of teaching jobs, union dues will alt keep in mind as we fill out ineffective, dangerous to public edu- Association and teachers' unions of - and Democratic campaign fund cash course evaluations and give final cation." Nov. 21). It is ironic that he self-interest on this topic. I'm sure cows are more important than an To the editor: grades. opens the piece with a reference to the ACLU, the National Education effective and successful education Five weeks ago, the Student As- Professors: What do you expect the misinformation that surrounds Association and Rice Young Demo- System. sociation sponsored an Education from your students? What work do the topic only to spread a few myths crats would never put their own Jamie Nossal Forum for faculty and students to you assign? What do you want them himself. agenda ahead of the the task of edu- Graduate student in chemistry discuss teaching practices, at Rice. to learn? Does your grading reflect r The thrust of the column seems cating American children. Surely * One of several issues brought to the this? Students: Did you really learn to be that vouchers alone are not they wouldn't risk preserving a near- foreground was that of professors' anything in this course? If so, at enough to pay the $10,000-plus an- monopoly politically dominated by Government funding grading practices in the light of the what cost? And, how much effort did nual median tuition bill quoted by liberal ideals like outcome-based only hurts schools, artscoursewor k they assign and the edu- you steal from this class in favor of Irot and the American Civil Liber- education, mainstreaming, whole cational objectives of their, courses. jumping through hoops for another ties Union. A visit to the ACLIJ Web language and other programs of Most people would agree that one? page revealed that this information dubious educational merit rather To the editor: there is not necessarily any connec- Joe Keithley is indeed posted therein. 1 went to a than allow parents to enroll their I^st week's Thresher is notewor- tion between the grades one gets Jones College senior private university as an undergradu- children in schools that actually edu- thy in that it contains two authors' and how much he's learning, and ate and my tuition bill wasn't that cate their charges, even if that school versions of the same illogical jump they would be right. high. There seemed to be some- does happen to have been named in reasoning. Valuing education does not im- thing amiss, so 1 did some checking for a Catholic saint. Robert Gross' letter on the Na- ply valuing a GPA. However, just of the facts. Ninety percent of all National tional Endowment for the Arts ("Dar- because we think real learning is tv Wr^ winian view of art ignores its pur- much more important than repojt A ^ pose," Nov. 21) and Peter Irot's col- cards, this doesn't mean that we do, umn on public education ("School or can afford to, ignore the marks Thius vouchers ineffective, dangerous to we get. come consume ijjvr \ public education," Nov. 21) make Virtually all Rice students have fircrou.- »«iT the observations that great art and too much to do and too little time in 11 H HOURS; education, respectively, are impor- which to do it. Students try hard to Monday-Thursday 8am-12am tant values. Therefore, the govern- fit everything in, and professors and C3 Friday 8am-5pm ment should fund them. Both 'au- departments frequently make efforts thors offer this conclusion as an to better accomodate students' busy Sunday 7pm-11:30pm axiom. lifestyles, but we all know that there I believe that the government, by are times when we have to skip a its very nature and on principle, class, blow a test or miss an intramu- should never fund education and the ral game. r T> Ofc: arts. Government differs essentially There are many courses at this h th ^ from other organizations in that it university in which time spent learn- has a monopoly on force. Its func- ing does not improve our grades, tion is to use force to protect indi- and time spent earning grades does prry^ vidual rights. No aspect of art or not better our education. The class education requires the use of force. featured in the editorial a few weeks Coffee % let me anticipate two objections. ago is a good example ("Skipping CHEN If C Tea First, shouldn't the majority decide Class," Nov. 7). Professors fre- what should be government-funded? quently assign lenthy reading as Hot Chocolate No, might does not make right, signments which are never touched i :oosm Espresso Drinks whether power is held by one dicta- by papers or exams, and, in other tor or millions of voters. Second, cases, attending a profs entertain- V ' i / Frescante aren't art and education important ing and enriching lecture may give v Bagels enough to be mandatory? The hu- no help on the mid-term. man mind cannot function under "If the lecture is so good," one Cookies coercion. Education, man's means says, "then it's worth attending." Rice Cakes of transferring knowledge, and art, Equivalently, "if the book taught you ! I \ irian's means of affirming the effi- something, that is what's important." and more... cacy of his consciousness, must Both these statements are correct; 1-r i' h ,k' A*'-- I I I'Vt "K k/i therefore be free from any govern unfortunately, the student's life is @ the rice COFFEEHOUSE mental influence. not so simple. (a public service) The validity of governmental in- There are many times when ev-
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FRIDAY DFCEMBER 5 1997 7 1 1 "rkr" ' ••lyiw nu.i:,, few Cable coukproadcas^ province of Alberta. Canada two Nichols d a survey to weeks ago. She was successful and itudent announcements Rhodes scholarships will also interview at the district level ions about ( Saturday. Hopp interviewed at the nt/pr ctiirfontc * V'1* • wMIUvl"® CABLE, from Page 1 soap operas and Three Rice students are currently state level Wednesday in Dallas. Susan Derrick said. "Hopefully, with TCU also airs mo in the running for a Rhodes Scholar- Last year's Rhodes Scholar, survey question t our publicity, students will see how campus events. ship to study abroad at Oxford Uni- Maryana Iskander (Wiess, '97), was to evaluate I easy it is to make videos and submit TTie board has already written versity. Loyett College senior Travis the first winner to come from Rice "Those" a lot of material for us to air.To turn their constitution and received Stu- Hopp, Sid Richardson College se- since 1972. She was a Rhodes what the rent will be," Nichols said. in videos, a person needs to fill out a dent Association approval, leaving nior Lisa McCormiek and Sid senior Scholar frtfm the state of Texas. "I made the figures up to get a feel submission form and turn in their only the by-laws left to complete. Aaron Pierce applied for the schol- Rhodes Scholar prospectives at for what students would pay," video to one of the college represen- Stipulations central to the consti- arship earlier this year through Aca- tend cocktail parties on the nights Nichols encourages any students tatives. tution include their video produc- with comments or questions about demic Advising. before their interviews to meet The idea of a Rice cable channel ers' responsibilities of obtaining jwr- the new graduate house to contact After Rice chose the three as rep- judges and other students. originally began when Sid junior mission from people in the videos to him at [email protected]. He said, resentatives, they moved on to the "These parties are supposed to Kyle Cranmer wanted to promote air them and taking full responsibil- "We're definitely getting support interview level in the scholarship be very low-pressure and have abso- Sid Richardson's Tower Party on ity for any related violations 3$| from the administration. They care process. J ones College senior Adam lutely nothing to do with the inter- Rice cable. The by-laws will cover tape sub- about students and our.input." Reiser was also a Rice nominee, al- view process, but in fact, they are With the help of Sid President mission policies and criteria and though he was not selected for a quite important," Scheid said,Then, Scientist finds mistakes David Hindman and Baker Presi- regulations for holding office or be- state interview. nominees are usually asked to re- dent Stella Hines, the concept of coming an official member of the Rhodes Scholarships are port to an office for their interviews. in Chernobyl'study broadcasting promotions led to the Rice Cable channel. awarded after a two-stage interview "(The nominees J spend roughly idea for a student-run channel. Board members, Hindman, process, Assistant Dean of Student the whole day together in the offiee Recent research uncovered dis- The board heading the project Hines and Director of Management Affairs Mark Scheid said. with each-other while the nominees crepancies in data collected for an includes Derrick, Sid sophomore Services and the Cable Television "First you have to be nominated are called in for their 20 minute in- internationally recognized study, led Sirni Blair, Brown College sopho- Advisory Group Charles Fix will by the Rice Committee on Scholar- terviews alphabetically one by one." by Texas Tech biological science- more David Nunez. Baker freshman soon meet to make final additions to ships and Awards, and we don't or- Scheid said. professor and researcher Robert Kevin Lynch and Will Rice College the constitution and solidify all fu- dinarily nominate everyone seeking Hopp, McCormick and Pierce will Baker, of life in the Chernobyl freshman Aryn Bryant. ture plans. the nomination — there is a good learn if they are Rhodes Scholars nuclear hot zone. Wiess College sophomore The discussions will also address deal of screening," he said. after their district interviews Baker performed research at the Jonathan Wilks said, "In my unedu- what Rice intends to do with the The Rice nominees go through a Chernobyl site to document the ef cated opinion, I think the cable chan- other two cable channels. light training session of mock inter- Graduate students plan fects of radiation on mammals, am- nel could go in an alternative direc- Despite the need for some last view situations weekly, Scheid said. phibians and plants surrou tiding the tion, and my fear is that it would end minute fine-tuning, the cable chan- "Often by the time [the nominees] to construct new house reactor and how life has existed up being like KTRU — I feel like nel is now operating and looking for get ready for their interviews, they there. He and other researchers re- KTRU is somewhat alternative, and cooperation from students. "We are are a little over-trained because I Planning is still underway for the cently found discrepancies in his while that may be fine for some basically just waiting for students to tend to be more aggressive and more new Graduate House slated to open own original study when they at- people, it's not what I would like." submit videos," Lynch said. "We've hostile than the actual interview will .in late 1998 or early 1999. The old tempted to repeat the same DNA Other colleges and universities, pretty much set up the technical and be," he said. apartments at 1515 Bissonnet are in sequences done in the research. including Texas Christian Univer- legal aspects of the channel and now A group made up of past Rhodes the last stages of being demolished Baker collected field mice from sity and Boston University, have stu- are trying to encourage people to Scholars interviews student sat both to make room for the new housing. the site to determine what evolution dent-run channels, broadcasting get involved." the state and district level . Each state Acommittee ofgraduate students had occurred within the animals that various shows including student typically interviews 10 to 14 people and administrators are deciding on enabled them to live and reproduce who have been selected on the basis a design for the new building. "There in the nuclear hot zone. MmwrnJMltmm of written material. Then, each state are no physical plans — everything The original report, released in """"TBEIII] will nominate two to three students, we're doing so far is speculative," 1996, stated there was a high rate of depending upon how many appli- said Mark Nichols, a graduate stu- mutation among the mice. But in a Residential Colleges 'VV cants they have, to go on to district dent on the committee. retraction, printed in the November Baker Nov 25 Jewelry stolen from room. Nov 25 Non-Rice subject cited for public competition. The committee is discussing fac- issue of Nature, Baker admitted that Lovett intoxication and criminal trespass. •,»rp The district competition is the tors that will affect the design: rent, human error led to the incorrect final competition, the interview parking, size and type of apartments, information. Academic Buildings 1 group at the district level chooses accomodations for students who are Baker said the discrepancy was Space Science Nov. 24 Computer stolen from Room 227. the Rhodes Scholars, Scheid said. married or who have children and a found when the mice's DNA was run #1 There are exactly 32 Rhodes possible swimming pool. through an automated sequencer. •j Other Areas Scholars from the United States — Nichols believes that the rent When the original study was done, 4l§ Nov. 23 Municipal citation issued for public four selected from eight districts. should be low enough to accommo- the DNA was sequenced manually. Entrance 12 intoxication and minor in Pierce, who is studying abroad at date students who can not afford Source: The University Daily. Cambridge University this semes- higher'housing prices in Houston. Nov. 21. possession. ter, was a state winner in Ohio. He "The graduate house is typically for SIS will interview at the district level in first or second-year [graduate] stu- Chicago Saturday. dents," he said. "We're not going to McCormick interviewed in the try and house everyone."
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Secret Service searches gized for Branum's column, which also provided the supposed location 100 REASONS columnist's apartment of the dormitory where Chelsea lives, and the paper's editor in chief •• up Secret Service* agents searched has referred to the backlash from YOU SHOULD BE the home of a student at the Univer- tlu^xijlunin as "a learning experi™ sity of California at Berkeley after ence."^ LISTENING TO he wrote a newspaper column that Source: Infoseek News Channel, depicted violent images of first Nov. 25. daughter Chelsea Clinton. CLASSICAL MUSIC: ' Guy Branum, a columnist for the TCU airs explicit film Daily Cal, mentioned President Clinton's daughter in a piece last on campus channel week that preceded the 100th "Big Game" — a much-hyped ' football' ' MoreTexasChristian University matchup between UC-Berkeley and residence hall rooms than usual rival Stanford University. were lit with the glow of the televi- In the column, Branum sum- sion as students flocked to their sets N? moned students to "show your spirit to watch a sexually explicit movie 1 REASON: on Chelsea's bloody carcass" — in inadvertently broadcast on the TCU reference to the first daughter, who Movie Channel. McCfttlSH J, attends Stanford. Working Girls, an account of a This and other suggestive lan- clay in the life of several New York guage prompted two Secret Service City prostitutes, was mistakenly or- agents to search Branum's apart- dered by TClJ's Cgble Selection ment Monday morning. Committee from SWANK Motion The agents' search came shortly Pictures Inc., a movie distribution before first lady Hillary Rodham company based in Missouri. ; •i' • • "'" I* ! ' v . ' •' •. !. •; <' $1 \ v;;? ;• .. ' " Learn to get the job you actually fM One of life's unfortunate realities is that after connect candidates with job opportunities. Also college you have to get a job. Some argue you might at the bus, you'll learn the skills to help you put even want a career. And to make it easier, Visa's together a resume that stands out, interviewing sponsoring JobPirect's JobPrlve. The JobPrive's skills that will get you the job, and you'll even get some purpose is to help seniors entering the job market tips that will help you use credit responsibly. 5o succeed in getting the jobs they want. stop by the JobPrive. After all, it's been said <30% JobPirect's JobPrive will roll into town via a of Success is just showing up. technology bus that has fifteen laptop computers equipped wit h sophisticated Internet technology to JobDir«cf.c JobPirect's JobPrive will be at the Student Center on Friday, December 5th. www.rankit.com • wKKKKKKmmBmSm TWK.CKTHKt.SHKK FWPAV, OF.CI-: MBKK5.W7 ; 1 ; • "•• • THE THRESHER 'S RECOMMENDATIONS \ FOR EVENTS AROUND I HOUSTON THROUGH, in phantasm , JANUARY 12.1997. j*.**-At-. Rose Wilde THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF The holiday season officially started Friday with the opening night of Houston Ballet's The Nutcracker, directed by Ben Stevenson. The pro- duction denies the weary holiday shopper a peaceful solace, instead barraging its audience with a fre- Friday netic performance that challenges the beholder to catch every detail. 'AMY GRANT The Nutcracker' i Enjoy an early Christmas Houston Ballet treat wirh Amy Grant, "fl Rating: (out of five) Michael W. Smith and Wortham Theater Center. CeCe Winang along with December 5-7, 11-14, 16-23, 26 27 at 7 p.m. the Nashyille Symphony December 6-7, 13-14, 16-23, as they sing Christmas 26 27 at 2 p.m. $10 - $60 Call (713) 227-ARTS for info.. favorites and raise money for St. Jude Children's 'Energy, indeed, drives the bal- let. Leaping and spinning across the Research Hospital's stage, the best dancers deceive the Target House. The Summit. eye with lightning-fast motion, con- cealing their stumbles, The best (10 Riverway Plaza), Dec. moments of the show involve either 12. 8 p.m. $25 75. the greatest number of dancers or the quickest pa'ce. Ongoing In the opening scene, up lo 50 people at once scurry about the IANN WHAUY/MOUSTON UA! I.f ! 'CIRQUE DE stage. The parents exchange greet- David Makhateli displays his princely skills by leaping through Desmond Heeley's lavish set for The Nutcracker. ings and presents, ignoring their SOLE IL' children's wild antics. The children, ers racing this way and that. Battle dancers cannot hide the production's dance. When Makhateli lifts Harris, led by hosts Clara (Britain lines form, attack and disperse, while almost inevitable sloppiness. Be which should be aclimatic moment, Cirque presents Quidam, Werkheiser) and Fritz (Maurjcio the Nutcracker duels with King Rat. cause Houston Ballet will give 35 they fail to convey a sense of tri- Canete), cavort about, teasing and and Clara desperately defends her- performances in one month, The umph or climax. the story of a girl thrust fighting, playing games or making self and her Nutcracker. Again, the Nutcracker has 10 different casts. This year marks the 10th anni- into the alternate universe .trouble. pace almost defeats the quickness The enormity of the endeavor has versary of Houston Ballet s perfor- given several young dancers a mance of ifs current production of of Quidam where she All the action occurs simulta- of the eye, but the duel centralizes neously, so the audience can watch the action. chance to perform as soloists for the The Nutcracker. Desmond Heeley witnesses all the glory the a toddler blow his nose on a spinster In the Kingdom of Sweet s, in Act first time. designed the set and the costumes. circus has to offer. More aunt's dress, Fritz lead a battalion of II, dancers from around the world Mireille Hassenboehler plays the His sets evoke tender emotions: At marauding soldiers or Clara and her entertain their visitor, Clara. Two lead female role of the Snow Queen the Christmas party, the wails glow fun .than pickin' the fleas girl gang skip in mad circles around dances, the Arabian dance and with occasional awkward stumbling. with -warmth, the snow scene out of your roommate's the oblivious adults. With action Gopak's dance, deserve high praise. 'Hie 1(3 casts, however, insure that sparkles with frosty light and the Kingdom of Sweets overflows with hair! everywhere, the audience can only In the only calm danfce that was well- no performance will be the same. glance quickly across the stage, cap- performed, the Arabian dance, Su- The supposed centerpiece of the gastronomic delights. Houston Bal- Astrodome Parking lot (off turing fragments of each titillating san Cummins and Schwiethale slide performance, the Grand Fas de let replaced its last Nutcracker set \ Kirby), Tuesday-Thursday scene. sensually around each other, to the DetfxTfalls flat. While the orchestra and costumes after 10 years of use, 1 The battle scene with the Nut- sultry strainsofTchaikovsky. Gopak builds powerful crescendos and dra- so those who wish to see the work of IP?£ i at 6 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. cracker (Jose Herrera) and his sol- (Canete) hurls himself into twirling matic climaxes, the Nutcracker a famous designer like Heeley * Saturday at diers against King Rat (Damian jumps and leaps that dazzle the audi- Prince (David Makhateli) and the should head to the Wortham The- ence with his speed and agility. Sugar Plum Fairy (Courtney Har ater Center to see The Nutcracker a f 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. Schwiethale) and his mouse brigade again inundates the stage with danc- When the frantic pace lulls, the ris) fail to build momentum in their soon. v'fPS j $20 $48.25. (Ingoing 1 , :# 10 r • - FRtDAY. DECEMBER S. 19OT { ft !! : [ fSK ' ^ " HI 4 < 4 ! " • A " ilita Mia " iM I mm T- j Laura Duke growth as an animator by working THRESHER STAFF with human, not animal, characters. Watch your back, Michael The results are outstanding. Eisner. The coming year offers stiff While the character animation, par- competition in the animated ticularly for the leads Anya and^ children's classic department, as Dimitri, lacks continuity and embel- many leading studios develop their lishment at some points, overall the "family films" divisions with one goal: movie creates and sustains the sort Crack the Disney stronghold on clas- of wacky physical types usually sic, successful cartoons. If the first found at Disney. The animation is of these challenges, Twentieth Cen noteworthy less for the characters, tury Fox's real-life Russian fairytale however, than for the"background An astasia, is any indicator of the work. Anastasia offers lush rendi- competition to come, Disney must tions of imperial Russia, done in glit- be worried indeed. tering colors. Bluth shows a stun- ning grasp-frf the latest techniques 'anastasia' and'Whfialogy, playing with water reflection and computer-aided mo- Rating: tion sequences. This movie even An unsuspecting Anya stands obliviously In front of her own Family portrait in Twentieth Century Fox's Anastasia. tout of five) satisfies 'the commercial require- ments of a full-length animated fea- Rasputin called down on the want to use their knowledge of court Anya and Dimitri, which is entirely Currently in theaters. ture with Anya's nauseatingly ador- Romanov family after his disgrace. life to train an Anastasia to get the dependent on the impressive vocal able puppy and Rasputin's wise- Luckily, little Anastasia escapes with dowager's offered reward. You know talents of Megr Ryan and John cracking sidekick fruit bat. 1 can see the aid of a kitchen boy, Dimitri, but where this is going, don't you? Cusack. Ryan is magnificent as Anya, Anastasia is the latest offering the Happy Meal toys already. gets clunked on the head when There are two interesting twists. creating a spunky heroine dripping from Don Bluth, himself the origi- Wait, you say, Rasputin? No, you Grandmama loses her at the train First, Rasputin is stiH"a player. Since with attitude. Cusack's Dimitri is a nal Disney defector from the early aren't remembering your Russian station. Ten years later, Anya leaves Anastasia survived, his curse is keep- perfect counterpart, brilliantly ma- 80s. You might recall his earlier suc- history incorrectly. Bluth even fol- an orphanage, a girl with no past and ing him around. The main plot isn't nipulative and later throughly cesses, such as The Secret of NIMH lows the Disney practice of bastard- no hint to her identity save a locket whether the Grand Duchess will lovesick. It is almost a shame that or An American Tail. With izing historical events to make a inscribed 'Together in Paris," the accept Anya as Anastasia, but these two talented actors couldn't Anastasia, Bluth tipped the ante. pretty story. Apparently, the Bol- same Jocket the Grand Duchess gave whether Anya will elude Rasputin have played the parts themselves. Apparently, Fox hired away several shevik Revolution was all due to little Anastasia. In her quest to get to and reach her granny. Beyond these two, Fox has as- Disney animators to work this these little green demons "fanning Paris to find her family, Anya finds 'Hie second twist is the (what a sembled an impressive group of sup- project, and-Bluth showed his own social unrest" in response to a curse Dimitri and large, jolly Vladimir, who shock) buddingyounglove between porting vocal talent. Kelsey Gram- mar holds his own as the paternal VWffVffWWV WfWWiVWWWW Vladimir, Angela Lansbury brings a reserved dignity and richness to the Grand Duchess and Christopher 4Joyd is his own wacky, over-the-top self as Rasputin. Two smaller roles deserve mention: Hank Azaria (best known for 'The Simpsons") works wonders as Rasputin's sidekick bat, delivering an understated but hys- terical performance with an accent from the Coen brothers' Fargo. Azaria's one-liners rival the bizarre historical interpretation for the best joke in the show. As Anastasia's cousin Sophie, Bernadette Peters positively sparkles. This well-en- dowed and rich young Parisianne offers nice comic relief and helps smooth the transition from Russia to Paris in the story. Another spot where Anastasia challenges Disney is in the music. The songs for this film are really impressive. Although I dislike the way the animated characters kept V St. dancing and posing as if in a Broad- way musical, I enjoyed the smooth lines between spoken and sung word, and certain melodies, particu- larly "Once Upon a December," do more to conjure up the sense of tzarist Russia than aaything else. •Anastgsia is not a perfect film. The sometimes shaky character animation, relatively weak crowd scenes and fairly political tone hurt the production. Still, it will delight kids and par- . * * r-- ents alike, and, in the now-crowding J;-:!?,,. M-!.-'Mp#;" - field of animated kids' movies, will emerge a true classic for years to •V : come. NO STRINGS WIRELESS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON ASK FOR EZTrac PRE-PAID WIRELESS — IT S ONE LESS MONTHLY BILL TO WORRY ABOUT. EZTrac is wireless without the worries. You pay for only the minutes you use There are no contracts to sign. No credit checks done. No monthly bills to pay. Plus you'll get the same low rate for [jreaff! every call, local or long distance. We'll even tell you how many minutes you have left before THINK,AHERL , you make a call looks like filling out your holiday wish list just got a lot EZ-er. next year s passes» for this year s prices P H I. PAID W fs^&L E S S —a— from SHEPHERD SQUARE MEYERLANO 2621S Shepherd Or VSBSSSJSSSKs 232 Meyerland Plaza 713/526-3453 www lienistt Hicellular.ci >m 713/661-9511 Unit*! IjfESffim IW mm*!*.* 'hi mwum i»u * * : CtoMCil mi IntrrflaiMMial Activation ami purc hase of* calling card required. Other terms and conditions apply, l imited time offer. 1f-800-2-C00NCIL. J£\ UA •f wW, ,i i VJ V THK KK I "Hi FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5. 1997 ?W v ^ r « . SMifi'l r;:;f •'• •• •'•• taxpayer money. When it reopens. there is no doubt in my mind that it will still rank among the most wretched and over-priced hacker-havens in the United States. In my two years here at Rice, however. I had grown to love Hermann Park for being the flea-ridden neighborhood stray that it was. It was loyal and dependable and didn't ask for anything in return for the simple pleasure of haying it around. I came to school in Houston so that I could play golf year-round at a course W 'W that wouldn't suck the funds from my meager budget. Hermann Park was my course. I am a Chris Baskin golfer, and they've taken my course from me for a year. 1 cannot forgive this atrocity. 1 don't know if I'll ever go back to the course that will never go back to being the way it was ... I don't know how they'll change Where wedges entered normally you, Hermann *. Then came out looking bent I liked the way you were J Some people say it's for the best I'll miss the stench of elephant But me, I'm not so sure Wafting through number one And all the times I burned my You didn't make excuses, neck Hermann In the relentless Houston sun About why you were so bad TULLIKA GARG/THRI SMf;f» Sophomore shooting guard Maria Brumfleld looks to make a pass Into the paint against Lamar University Nov. 21. Or claimed to have facilities I'll miss the fence on seven God knows you never had For when danger breached its walls You lived life for the people, There should have been a sign women Hermann that said You were everyone's and mine "Beware of flying balls!" by Brian Hill 53-49. Colorado's Shelley Garcia put Bracken of Washington; each had in a three with only 21 seconds re- While time may lessen others' THRESHER STAFF excellent statistics from last year. maining. After that, sophomore Floras was an honorable mention worth I'll miss the tee on eight The women's basketball team Maria Brumfield couldn't connect All-America selection by USA To- You ripened like a wine Obstructed by the tree had another chance to prove to the for the Owls, and the Buffs ended day, averaging 20 points and 10 re- That made the drive impossible pollsters that they deserve to be a the game by draining two free bounds a game. Bracken put in 6.9 There are many ways I'll miss. But not too hard for me ranked team, but once again they throws. points and eight rebounds for her you, Hermann came up short. After stomping on Playing a rafrked opponent close league championship team. And the memories you've I'll miss the outhouse tucked Lamar University 91-61 and Mon- on their home court is usually an December offers up three home • wrought away tana State Univeristy 76-51 last week, accomplishment, but the Owls can- games and two road games for the For all the hackers like myself On the edge of number 10 they traveled to Boulder for the not give up these great opportuni- Owls. First, this Friday and Satur- And the good times that we And all the men who entered Coors Classic at Colorado Univer- ties consistently. Coach Christine day, they will compete in the Rice sity. McKinney commented, "One of our Classic (at Autry Court) against sought Who were never seen again Rice easily disposed of St. goals for the season is to win the Mercer University and then either Joseph's University, 65-55, in the WAC title and get into the NCAA Virginia Commonwealth University I'll miss the way your club- I'll miss the train on fifteen first round, upping their record to 4- tournament," or Santa Clara University. Follow- house Whenever I need a ride 1, and then moved on to 16th ranked To get into the tournament, the ing the tournament they will play an Smelled like rotten food To take me from the fairway Colorado in the tournament's finale. Owls will need to show the selection exhibition game against Houston And that every time 1 paid for To the zoo on its other side Rice started off well, going into half- committee that they can beat, not AAU Dec. 10 and travel to South- golf time with a lead. However, the re- just contend with, the ranked teams. western Louisiana University Dec. Your employees were not rude I'll miss playing when I'm thirsty curring pattern for the Owls this Also, in order to win the Western 21. Finally, the Owls will have their When your water I couldn't drink year is to play extremely well in the Athletic Conference, the Owls will third and last chance to prove they I'll miss the dirty balls I wonder where you got it from first half but come out slowly in the need to beat tough teams such as can compete with tough teams on second. the University of Hawaii and San the road Dec. 29, when they play the On the range that had no net And whose urine filled that sink Once again, the Owls let a ranked Diego State University on the road. University of Mississippi at Oxford. And all the ones, that you opponent come back on them and Off the court, the Owls increased Starting in early January, Rice picked up I'll miss the daring joggers win. This time the CU Lady Buffalos their stock for next year by signing begins conference play against !, tj|! liS And those you could not get With targets on their back took advantage of the Owls, who two inside players. 6-foot-1 Aarika Southern Methodist University and Who didn't heed your warnings lacked second half intensity, to win Floras from Texas and 6-3 Sarah Texas Christian University. I'll miss the slow old women And got bombarded by your flak And the fivesomes I playecl behind I'll miss the Way the horses Deja vu all over again: 7-4 and no place to go -IS You were oblivious to etiquette, Roamed freely on the course Hermann After hitting from a pile of crap by Jose Luis Cubria die University of Texas earlier in the and fojjfth leading rusher. He also year, it is understandable why some established a school record for But you know I didn't mind Tilings couldn't get much worse THRESHER EDITORIAL STAKE players, especially the 11 seniors, touchdowns in a season. Nelson Maybe it wasbecause of a change were somewhat disappointed. became the second-leading runner I'll miss your blue-hatred They're Closing you down now, of perspective. Or because of in- "We could have won some more and scorer in school history behind I driving carts Hermann creased expectations. Or simply — like Texas," senior quarterback some guy named Trevor Cobb. That used batterie»»for their gas So that you may shed your because the possibility of bigger and Chad Nelson said. "It's disappoint- Even more impressive than its With you, all were gentlemen cancerous skin better things was lost and perhaps ing to know that we were better than statistics, though, was Rice's perfor- M Regardless of their class Pouring millions into a battle even wasted. 7-4. We could've been a 9-2 team." mance on the field. After an opening A billion couldn't win But for whatever reason, Rice Instead of dwelling on the disap- game loss to the Air Force Acad- I'll miss your flooded fairways players and coaches felt that their pointments, however, the Owls were emy. which finished the season na- quick to point out what they showed tionally ranked and bowl-bound at And the greens that had no The BSL is mighty, Hermann second consecutive 7-4 season, though admittedly something they about how far the program has come. 10-2, the Owls used a six-game grass But I'm counting on your were proud of, was not completely "A couple of years ago, we would stretch to establish themselves as a* All the birdies that 1 left short resolve satisfying. have been happy (with a 7-4 sea- team to be reckoned with, both in And the ones that came to pass To have too many problems "I'm very disappointed," senior son)," senior fullback Benji Wood the WAC and on the national'scene: Hi at money cannot solve defensive end Andy Clifton said. "We said. "Now, we're disappointed be- • They won on the road against I'll miss the roar of sirens had our ups and downs, but this cause we know we had the opportu- Tulane University 30-24, a team In the middle of my swing You used to be a bargain, team was filled with great athletes. 1 nity to do more. The change in atti- which now receives votes in the polls. That made me look as graceful Hermann still think we had the team to do it." tude shows where we're going." • They beat the two-time defend- As a bird without a wing But soon you'll be a rip The "it" that Clifton was refer- Head Coach Ken Hatfield said, ing Big 10 Champions, Northwest- And you won't see me on the ring to was a Mountain Division title, "We accomplished some good ern University, 40-34. a trip to the Western Athletic things. The expectation now is to • They lost to the defending Big 12 I'll miss all your Par 5"s teebox Conference's championship' game win every time out. You now see Champions, Texas, 38-31 after lead- That were reachable in two With my interlocking grip and an invitation to the school's first teams celebrate when they beat Rice. ing for most of the game, thanks in I And the water on your water bowl game since 1961/all of which People respect Rice football." large part to a controversial rough- holes Your patrons will desert you, were within reach throughout the The respect has come, in large ing call in the fourth quarter. Thar was brown instead of blue Hermann season. part, because of a number of things • They drubbed a dismal Univer- And play on other links Had it not been for upset losses the Owls accomplished the season. sity of Tulsa team 42-24. I'll miss your horrid bunkers Because after all is said and done to Southern Methodist University The rushing offense finished the • They defeated nationally ranked i! Where the sand was like cement Hermann P^ark still stinks and the University of Utah late in the season ranked second in the nation. Brigham Young University, the de^ season, though, the Owls would have Junior running back Michael Perry fending WAC Champion, for the first ended the regular season with a 9-2 was the conference's top runner time since joining the WAC 27-14. record and a guaranteed spot in at (21st nationally) and all-purpose 0wAnd to top it all off. they upset Chris Baskin is a Sid sophomore. least one post-season game. When yardage gainer (fourth). Wood was nationally ranked and previously coupled with a controversial loss to the conference's top scorer (14th) See FOOTBALL. Page 12 i: 'ililll Mffiu vl i''•r •••sH I efflHMHf HVPlg |5L , y • .,$y , *> .li-.jyjj' t1 y!TTTT!l 1 Ptf™ffllit:l'N"'' T^iTfti!''' I &, i w^3p ^w~ the team in so \ Mk jM H • af * w _ - chance to take hor HKHI _ miwr """"[j" win points. Freshman r routine of Michael is continued to . la in the i scoring 13 points in only 12 minutes lace game. SEEKS MALES of action. Although the game started off 1 ft-4d The win over Evansville set up a slowly, it ended with a furious come- !v' 1 V-r v V Caguas, Puerto Rico, participating semifinal tilt with the University of back attempt by Rice. South Florida in the Thanksgiving San Juan West Virginia. West Virgina, a quick, led with a score of 6-2 after the first MED STUDENTS, GRADUATE Shootout. athletic Big East team, employed an quarter. To put a spin on the old STUDENTS, RESEARCHERS, The Owls, fresh off their first effective full-court press to suffocate cliche, neither team could throw the RESIDENTS, POST-DOCTORAL victory Tuesday night (a 79-57 the Owls, en route to a 78-61 win. ball into the Caribbean Sea from the STUDENTS, AND OTHER stomping of the University of Mis- The Mountaineers buried the beach: Rice and South Florida hit 26 SCIENTIFIC DISCIPLINES, souri at Rolla), hoped to use the Owls early by running out to a 40-21 percent and 25 percent of their shot s, WE HAVE RECENTLY tournament to improve on their 1-3 halftime lead The key to the game respectively, in the first half. INCREASED AVAILABLE record and to continue gaining ex- was the number of turnovers com- However, action intensified late COMPENSATION perience before the start of confer- mitted by Rice, lite Owls gave the in the game, as the Owlstiad posses- ence play in early January. ball away 32 times— the most ever sion and trailed by a mere point with The team continued its winning by a Wilson-coached team. seven seconds to play. Unfortu- OAI I ways early on as they defeated the In addition to the press, West nately, Crawford's shot attempt was Univerisity of Evansville 59-54 in a Virginia used a balanced attack to blocked by South Florida's Brian defensive struggle. Rice jumped out defeat the Owls, with five players l.amb to extinguish any hopes of a 799-9937 to a 32-24 halftime lead but pro- scoring in double figures. Rice victory. South Florida tacked ceeded to score only seven points in Senior leaders guard Bobby on two more points to end in a 49-46 cryo [email protected] the third quarter. Crawford and forward Jarvis Kelley defeat of the Owls. However, the Owls tightened the Sanni lead the. Owls du.Hng the game. The loss dropped the Owls to 2-5 defensive-screws on the Aces in the Crawford struck for 23 points, in- on the young season. 'Hie team trav- fourth quarter, holding them score- cluding four three-pointers, while els to Iowa City, Iowa, today to com- less over a key four-miriute stretch Kelley Sanni snared 12 rebounds pete in the Super Chevy Shootout. late in the ball game. and added 20 points. Their first game will be at 8 p.m. a • n Head coach Willis Wilson ech- Wilson was disgusted after the versus the University of Iowa, with a oed the theme of defense after the game. "We played terrible, no two game Saturday versus either Mount - Houston Press 1997 game. "Defense really won the game ways about it. We knew they were Saint Mary's or Weber State. The "Best Cafeteria" 1994 • "Best Vegetarian" 1995 • "Best Middle Eastern" 1996 for us. It was a very evenly matched going to press, and we just didn't team returns home to Autry Court game," he said. handle it," he said. Wednesday to take on Nicholls State. Discover one of Houston's most renowned new restaurants. SPORTS N 0 0 K Exotic, but accessible. Cultured, but casual and 500-yard freestyle. and President Jeff Mercer, so the Tasteful and reasonably priced. Always convenient. Draperf Teague pace The Owls finished off the meet team is considerably young. Mer- by coming in second in the 200- cer hopes that the "team comes women swimmers yard freestyle relay. together in time to compete for Hie swimming team does not The absence of juniors Kirsten the spring season." compete again until Jan. 4, when it Nagle and Robin Davidson and will return early from break to freshman Susanna Shepard due Injuries beset men's face Louisiana State University at to injuries kept the Owls from per- home. forming well in the breaststroke. lacrosse in loss Two weeks ago, women's All in all, the Owls gave a solid Under New Ownership... Soon A New Name swimming suffered a close 132 to performance but came up a little 'Hie lacrosse team finished its 106 loss to rival University of short. They won seven out of 13 fall season against a strong 2401 Times (it MominguJt m tin VSlegtAmdt) * Texas, dropping its overall record events but, due to injuries, lacked Brazoria club team, Despite in- to 3-2. Ilie Owls are still 2-1 in the the depth necessary to win. jury to sophomore starting goalie 5064 Richmond at 610 • 439*7481 Western Athletic Conference, Roland Flores, the team played while Texas is 2-2 overall. well but could not record a win. Men's volleyball Several rookies stepped up to 1 We ate now serving fine beers Rice got off to a good start win- ning the 200-yard medley relay struggles to 1-7 start produce for the team. In particu- I and wines at out Times location with a team of freshman Kim lar, frefthman Dan Castle filled in $IOFF Maher and seniors Heather In preparation for the regular for injured senior and team cap- j when you buy a I Draper, Cory Teague and Julie season next spring, the men's vol- tain Scott Smitherman. . combination of $6.59 or more & Birch. The seniors then contin- leyball team participated in the With several exceptional play- I with your Silver Saver Qtrd » ued their stellar performance. College Classic Nov. 22. ers returning from last year, the Draper won the 100- and 200- Due to several injuries and per- veterans continue to anchor the I N.tMUidwid,od,„rffcn. I „ WchavtrMotlymmKlucd sonnel changes, the A-tearn team. Junior Brad Mitchell, gradu- j_ _ j Happy Hotif at our Times location. yard backstroke. Her time in the 100-yard backstroke earns her struggled most of the weekend ate student Peter Perrino and consideration for the NCAA tour- and finished 1-7. sophQpiote Reeve Waks lead the nament. Teague placed first in Even though the team did not team at midfield, and juniors three events, the 50- and 100-yard do as well as expected, the regu- James Parker and Xavier Wilson freestyle as well as the 100-yard lar season looks promising. By led the defensive attack this sea- butterfly. Freshman Jennifer that time, senior John Bawduniak son. At the beginning of the spring Lushao also showed her talent by and freshman Brad Harris will semester, the team will start its winning the 200-yard butterfly, have recovered from their inju- regular season with two home while sophomore LizCorneliuson ries to contribute to the team. games against the University of had anojher solid performance, The A-team only returns two Texas at Dallas and Southwest placing second iu both the 200- members, juniors Scott Rennie Texas State University. wouldn't Sophomores to step in for Nelson and Wood in 1998 FOOTBALL, from Page 11 and this year's seniors won 21 games shoulder injury . Sophomore fullback didn't undefeated University of New during their careers, the second Clint Ijeschber filled in well for Wood Mexico 35-23. most in school history (1960-'63). this season and should be ready to The condom broke! At 5-2 (3-1 WAC), the Owls were And if one is to believe the Owls, start next year. Sophomores Chad in an ideal position. With four games next year will be even better. Richardson, Jeremy Bate's and remaining against teams witha com- "Some young guys have been Raphael Tillman will compete for bined record of 9-20, the division stepping in and playing really well," the quarterback spot. Richardson, *Within 72 hours after unprotected sex, a crown was theirs to lose. As it turned Clifton said. "Next year's team will who saw extended playing time at out, that was exactly what happened, be exceptional." running back this season, is ex special dose of birth control pills and the aforementioned losses Next year's squad will show pected to start and will probably be can prevent unintended pregnancy. abruptly stopped what had been a marked improvements on the de- well-suited to running the spread dream season. fensive side of the ball. Ten starters, option. And finally, at tight end, Plan on us. The one that hurt the most was including junior linebackers Thomas redshirt freshman Brandon Man the loss to SMU. Coming off a bye- Benford and Rashad Reynolds, ning is expected to be ready to take Professional. Confidential. Affordable week and still on an emotional high junior cornerback LaDouphyous over a position that had been previ- after the New Mexico game, a let- McCalla and junior'defensive end ously filled by non-tight ends. • Birth control exams and supplies down seemed inevitable. As seen in Terrence Melton, will return, as well In other words, neither talent, • Screening and treatment for sexually transmitted infections the Mustangs' 24-6 victory, though, as at least three others who saw depth nor experience will be lack- and urinary tract infections • Pregnancy tests • HIV tests it was much greater than expected. significant playing time this year. ing. • Annual exams and Pap smears "That was the story of college On the offensive side of the ball, And according to Hatfield, while • Emergency contraception (the morning after pill) football in 1997," Hatfield said. "If the losses of Nelson, Wood, half- this year's team was special, the fu you weren't ready to play every week, back Rodd Newhouse, tight ends ture looks even brighter. • Free parking • Saturday and evening appointments you were going to get beat. Many Byron Godfrey and Mike Jones and "Nothing came easy to thisteam, teams, including us, put results right tackle Mark Spinner will hurt. but their heart and the way they ahead of preparation and paid the However, most positions should be fought will be remembered," he said. 713/522-3976 3601 Fannin price." adequately filled. "The seniors reached some mile Despite the missed opportunities, , Sophomore offensive lineman stones and will leave us with a great pl the 1997 campaign has to be seen as Rod Beavan, a freshman All-Ameri- legacy. It was a new and exciting anned Parenthood" a success. The baCk-TO-back 7-4 sea- can last year , will be back after miss- experience and a wholesome atmo O of Houston and Southeast Texas, Inc. |oik sons were the first since 1960-'61, ing most of this season because of a sphere. But it's only the beginning." —T""-" • L THF RICK THRFSHER SPORTS FRIDAY liFl'FMHFR 5 IW 13 i't..'..w»i..iSSI^pil|ji» *•'" "*•; , CatMMlO 0 l 00 0. dampenl a i 13 1 2 3. KuWovn 34 i ? ?. v<>iif,r, , » ftn J cwmjuin «i» fto a r„,i. jia 5 costello 00 Rice ' 34 (Cafagna 'U ***'«• - South Florida 11 (Smith 4), Bice 13 tello, ?amp.H» 101 (Crawford 4) M> ,27 — Cafafloafil Colo Assists^ R'cr^OtWilson 6. Brumfield4); SJO 13 €.. iiliii II IS i mm ' I 24 30 - iiMNNK If ViWMKWk TS Assists ~ Hie: 17 (Wilton 5. Brumfitld, LuOwig 4): Colorado 13 (Graham 4i Kelley Sanm 2«004. Johnson 61069 21 BougaieH H 21 40 U 1-4 00 2.Cr«*fo»dl74 4 7,Wilks 36 0 26. Tyndell • Attendance 2.172 SOUTH FLORIDA 4« RICC4S Waat Virginia 40 38 79 14 0 0 3, Stringer 11 00 3. Mtchaelis 6 9 1 1 13 2146 1116 59 MOB tf ST. JOSEPH'S Sf South Florida 23 26 49 Mr • 11 Kelley SanniB. ihson0 7 Q<10; Bougweff EvMMvttlTRBW\Ve , Woo 16 30 2 5 0 0 4 4. Or I 9 U 23. Wllks 04121. Wilfton M» 0, _0 14_ , . Stanton 14 00 3 Snow 1 4 0 Rica 28 37 85 Armstrong 0112 1. 16110 3 1 2 1. Thomson 0 • 0 2. Hollendtr 5 16 0 0 i» Regie 010 0 0, Runyan UTIP 13 Colorado 21 34 - 55 South Florida 0 0 2 0. Stringer 1 3 1 1 4. Michaelis 3-8 0 0 7 7 16 3^4 21. lames 24 01 4 Frailer 04)0-00, Smilh6 14 2 2 17. Reeves0 3 5 Totals: 19 52 17 28 61 Total*: 23 57 5 5 54 UTEP 7 3 0 3 13 Rica 6 5, Asbury01 0 00. S Johnson8 15 0117, Lamb •• 2 8 0-0 5, H Johnson 0 1 0 0 0. Jenkins 1 1012 3, Waat Vlrlglnla im goals iRieai'&lSf Johnson 3 6). Evans Rlc* 14 7 0 10 17 Brumfield 3 6 6 9 12. Jordan 8 12 3 3 19. Koy 5-9 0 0 10. Cafagna 2 10 35 7. Wilson 16 00 2. Mcln Peruj/o 0 0 0 0 0. Luc/ywko 1 2 0 0 2 Goree 36 5-9 11, Pledger 6 12 4 4 16. (ones 2 8 0 6 IRunyon 4 11) tosh 0-0 0 0 0 Ludwigl 300 3, Duncan 00 11 1, Totals: 18 54 8 11 49 0 5. Berry 01 0-0 0, West 2 12 6-6 12, Owens 7 1 ; . • ; . ' PU — Wood 1 yd run (Grimes Kick) Hamilton 4 T 3 4 11 1-1 15. Kearse 2 2 2 2 7 Solhe.m 310 44S 10, si Rice. 31 (BougaieH 10, Kelley Sanm RU —* Wood 1 yd run (Gnmes kick) »: 24 93 16 22 65 Rica lewin 13 0 2 2 svilie 24 (Moliender 6, Wilson 6) UTEP — Smith 10 yd run (Kimrin kick) Kelley Sanni 812 67 22. Johnson 2 10 12 5, Totala: 2& 72 22 30 78 RU ~ Richardson 8 yd run (Grimes kick) - Rice 13 (Crawford 3, Stringer 3>, Evans UTEP — Kimrin 32 yd field goal SIU Bugaieff 2 3 0 0 4. Crawford 4 15 11 10, Wilks 0 3 (Stanton fi Hollendei 4i UTEP — Kimrin 22 yd field goal Greenweltl 12 4 4, Costello 9 136-9 24; Lichnetovu- 0-0 0. Armstrong 0 1 00 0, Tyndell 00 13 1. Threepointgoals - Rico B 1.6 (Crawford 4 7. Michae RU — Grimes 27 yd Held goal 2 6 3 4 7. Coursey 3 7 0 0 6, tiles 2 901 4. Kulesa Stringer 1 100 2. Michaelis 14 0-0 2 «» Stringer 13); West Virginia 4-14 (West 2 7. 1 1 l lifsai RU — Richardson 26 yd run (Grimes kick) ' ,t - •' < • - j) . 'd - -• 'I ' • '! i t ] i • ". ' Final State UTEP RICE First Down* 21 16 Rushing yards 89 229 Passing yards 278 114 Total Yards 367 343 Return yards 65 92 Punts Avg 5 36 8 4 43 5 Time of Possession 33 33 26.2? Individual Stats Rushing UTEP Johnson 11 46, Smith 10 21. Polk 10 21 Pere/ i1 ] Rice Wood 25-94. Richardson 8 63. Nelson 12 53. Npwhouse 2 16. Griffin 13 Compaq Presario 1090ES Notebook i!i§ Pasting • 150MHz Penliuin * processor f® UTEP - Perez 20 3? 0-278 Htce Nelson ? 5-1114 • 16MB RAM (expandable to 48MB) Receiving UTEP - Carpenter 7 85. Ray 4 50. NMktn 4 41 • 1 4GB hard drive, Goison 3 89, Johnsori 1-6, Thompson 14 Rice , tones l-SS,'GocHrey li49 • 11 3" Dual Scan SVGA flat f xinel display Attendance. 18.014 • 1 28 bit Accelerated Giapinc.s • Internal 3..i 6K modem MOUNTAIN DIVISION w FINAL New Mexico 6 2 9 -- 2 • Comprehensive software bundle Rice Owls 5 3 7 4 for school-find home SMU 5 3 6 5 Three year limited warranty Utah 5 3 6 5 BYU • 4 4 6 5 (carry in, pick up)' UTEP 3 5 4 7 Tulsa 2 6 2 9 TCU 1 7 1 10 WOMENS 8ASKETBALI RICE 49 COLORADO 53 Rice 26 23 49 Colorado 25 28 54 Rice Brumfield 5 1 4 0 i ] 1 Jordan 3 8 0 0 6 Koy 1 1' i 2 3 Cafagna 7 ! 3 -1 4 19. Wilson 0 ,3 0 0 0. l.uclwig 1 2 0 0 3, Duncan 2 4 0 0 5. Hamilton 1 l 0 0 7 Totais: 20-47 5 9 49 beyond INTERNATIONAL youi stack of 1 JOB SKILLS r lasswork is a w<;l New professional MA. in Inter- deserved holiday What better national Affairs or Interamerican Studies prepares you rapidly for time for something that'll make next exciting careers; year easier'' With the Compaq Presario 1 O environmental studies I090ES, you can download photos off the Web, !"•: O public health •gir- l:y. O government grab facts from the CD encyclopedia, drop them into your O international organizations report and e-mail it to your professor And at only 7.3 pounds, H international media, you can do it at school, at home, even at the pizza shop But while i-tei business a Compaq sells more computers than any other company on earth, this offer is Learn valuable analytic skills from economics and the social not long for the world. It's good only until December 31, 1997 or while supplies last. mB-IL sciences. TO ORDER YOUR OWN CALL 1-888-215-8872 M F (A N s » 9 3 (c.su Complete this intensive multi- A disciplinary degree in 12 to IS For more information visit your campus computer store mm months, while living in a fasci- nating international city l Free details ' nMN'M , ' MU1 SCHOOL OF INTERNATIONAL STUDIES J COMPAQ. ' • .K H Coral Gables, FL 33124-3010 305-284-4173; Fax; 305-284-4406 - mmmI www.miami.edu/sis www compaq.com/education : tmrt'HTi " ' •' ^ •.. Gmi '•':»m k&f - ' ****"• • • • SfffJlP'l • 1 > • • ; ' . : ;"\'v:; •;' 111 pi £V 14 THE RICK THRESHER CAUNPAW jiiil 1, you are a registered voter you can vote- even if you didn't vote in the November c' i. Calling alt general elections. For more information, call Sheffy Gordon at (713) 5280856 Audrey play the role that made her famous — the frolicking, fanciful Holly Golightly. Alleviate that pre-final stress with some The Rice Media Center presents Breakfast dancing — foxtrot, tango, swing, cha-cha at Tiffany's, also featuring George or whatever you want to try! The Rice Peppard, at 7.30 p.m. This movie includes Ballroom Dance Society presents their colorful characters and moving moments WINTER SEMI-FORMAL CAMPANILE EGYPT' from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m, in the — Audrey at her Vest Stick around to see from 9 p.m. to 2 p.m. in the Grand Hall in ORCHESTRA-*" Kyle Morrow Room in Fondren Library. Dudley Moore turn screen impotence into the Student Center. The dance features direction of Scott O'Neil. presents a superstardom in the racy comedy 10 at the Rice Jazz Ensemble. Tickets are $4 in concert featuring Wagner's Bell and Grail 9:40 p.m. «: advance. $5 at the door. Complimentary Scene from "Parsifal." Mahler's Songs of wiednesda ^ pecio swing and cha-cha lessons will be offered a Wayfarer (Raymond Granlund. soloist) Today is the deadline to submit at 8 p.m. For more information, call Wyatt and Hans Rdtt's Symphony No.l (first ONE MORE DAY. on®«. applications and resumes to the Ehrlander at (713) 630-8113. movement). The concert begins at 8 p.m. long day. Even though finals loom in the SUMMER WORK ABROAD in Stude Concert Hall. Admission is free. distance, today is the last day of classes, PROGRAM Applications are The Hispanic Association for Cultural baby! Oh, and the last day for first- available at the Career Services Center. Enrichment at Rice presents its 4th Today is the deadline to submit semester students to drop. We still have Contact Betsey Tufano at annua, "LA POSADA" party applications to the JOINT a few days before finals ... [email protected] or Cheryl Matherly at from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. in the Lovett VENTURE INTERNSHIP [email protected] for more Information. Commons. Come for free food and live PROGRAM for liberal arts majors. The WOMEN'S BASKETBALL entertainment. Applications may be turned into the team takes on the Houston Flight AAU in The Shepherd School Career Services Center. Contact Paula an exhibition game at 6 p.m. in Autry SYMPHONY The Shepherd School CHAMBER Quenoy at [email protected] for more Court. ORCHESTRA, under the direction ^ ORCHESTRA. under the direction of information. t of Larry Rachleff. presents a concert Larry Rachleff, presents a concert The MEN'S BASKETBALL featuring the music of Copland, Barber featuring the works of Stravinsky's Suite SCAB once again gives you a team dominates Centenary at 7:35 p.m. and Dvorak. The action begins at 8 p.m. in No, 2 for Small Orchestra, Bartok's Music CLOSE-TO-FREE in Autry Court. Stude Concert Hall. Admission is free. for Strings, Percussion, and Celeste and HAIRCUT by sponsoring Barber Copland's Appalachian Spring. The Day in the Grand Hall of the Student thursday DEC 11 The WOMEN'S BASKETBALL concert begins at 8 p.m. in Stude Concert Center. j TEAM battles Mercer in the Harvey Hall. Admission is free. It's beginning to look a lot like ... ? The senior class presents its Suites/Rice Classic at. 7 p.m. in Autry tuesday DEC 9 Court. Sunday HOLIDAY BALL "o-a p - DEC 7 -For unto Os a child is born ... On the eve to 12 a.m. in the Grand Half in the The Career Services Center and the Take a break from studying and listen to of the last day of classes, why not sing Student Center? The Senior Dinner witi be Central European Study Group present a away all of your worries? The Shepherd CELLO MUSIC ceii*. served from 7 to 9 p.m. for seniors only School of Music presents the lecture entitled 'THE HABSBURG Alison Bazala presents an advanced — the cost is $10.50 cash, charge or LEGACY: AUSTRIA AND recital featuring the music of Schubert MESSIAH SING-ALONG from your meal plan. All classes are CENTRAL EUROPE" by Regina and Bach at 5:30 p.m. in Duncan Recital conducted tyy Thomas Jaber. The Rice welcome at the dance free of charge. Kecht. director of the Center for the Study Hall. Chorale, Shepherd Singers, Shepherd of Language. The lecture begins at 12 School vocal soloists and members of the p.m. in the Faculty Club. Admission is monday Shepherd School Chamber Orchestra join free. Call'twa Thompson at (71.3) 527 audience participants to perform Handel's • by CAMPUS MAIL to Amy 4874 for more information. . Sick of those ugly posters on your walls? Messiah in, yes, its entirety. The Krivohlavek, Calendar Editor, Rice The Rice University Art Department hosts performance begins at 7:30 p.m. in Stude Thresher, MS-524. fr • by FAX to Amy Krivohlavek, Calendar their annual PRINT SALE om 9 Concert Hall. Admission is free, but bring Saturday Editor, (713) 285-5238. DEC 6 a.m. to 7 p.m in Sewall Hall, Room 201 a seat cushion ... ^ • by E-MAIL to [email protected]. (in the courtyard behind Sewall). Etchings, DID YOU VOTE IN Calendar submission FORMS are lithographs, monoprints and more are Ever wondered how Egypt was, um, NOVEMBER? If not, you still have available at the Student Activities Office or a chance1 Mayoral and City Council runoff available at low, low prices Profits benefit invented? Paula Sanders presents a slide on the Thresher office door. the individual artists and the Rice ''Print elections take place from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. lecture entitled "NAPOLEON The DEADLINE for all items is 5 p.m. m the Grand Hall in the Student Center. It Annex." AND THE INVENTION OF the Monday prior to publication. Advertisement STUDENT HELPERS mimmM-MiF! BAYLOR COLLEGE OF MEDICINE Positions are available in a laboratory at Baylor College of Medicine for students interested in partici- pating in research projects involving gene therapy, focusing on novel cell-based delivery systems for therapeutic agents, with emphasis on the delivery of neurotrophic factors for the injured central nervous system. These positions can be filled at the level of Student Helper IV or Student Helper V, depending on the status and previous experience of the applicant. The salary range is $7.57 to $8.66 per hour. Hours will be variable, up to 40 hours per week, according to the arrangements made between the supervisor and the individual student. Students will participate in hands-on experience in the experi- " , :• ,. - •«-...•»<•• !.« I - • • •-.• ;vf$ ments being performed in the laboratory, which will include a need for •' Y,. ,1s YY"1; . A .V.. skills in molecular biology, including plasmid subcloning and characteriza- tion, the polymerase chain reaction, and may possibly involve the trans- fection of plasmids into cells and characterization of the production of therapeutic substances by transfected cells. Please contact Dr. Peter Hornsby, Huflington Center on Aging, Baylor College of Medicine at (713) 798-7334 or by e-mail at [email protected]. Baylor Qpllege of Medicine is an Equal Opportunity, Affirmative Action and Equal Access Employer. h . , : . •,jlT""' I vT • i' Ti•: "; Y« T i' -ffiiTtijip s " |ffT SFTlijif'''' tP';: musforrMlH up 5a 2KS ERNES. 6 DE UEC1EMBRE 1897 THE INSTITl lion, a non-nr< in educuJS and c«U„r#. change, £ tutor area high ^ «**/ All sub- es. Muni g ers for visiting Language« nee per hour. Call (713> 975-5355. •Spanish. Fa* resume to L Marshal IliiPfL mi i , r>, 621 0876 BABY-SITTER NEEDED for I wo young And then in a twinkling 1 heard on the ledge children, afternoon* and evenings. Garage when all throughout Wiess The hoofing of owls who'd hopped many a hedge NEED A job spring semester ' Line one up , apartment and meals provided. Must have t even the mite. now as a Course Attendant at the School ol own transportation and references River As 1 drew in my head and was turning around, Continuing Studies. Flexible evening hours Oaks area. (713) 528-6091 „ ..ang on the buildup with carc. Monday through Thursday and daytime on • Down from the Five-man he came with a bound. Saturday. $5.75 per hour to start. Call In hopes that the War Pig soon would be there; 5 Carolyn (713 > 527-4801. ext. 4803 or email FOR SALE Sftl illlil©'?: ' • J • )#]: ' ^ V.' , • caresuGtivJ rice.edu. SEIZED CARS from $175 Porsches. The Wiess men were nestled all snug in their beds, Cadillacs,Chevys.BMW's.Corvettcs. Also He was chubby and plump — a right jolly old hog NETWORK/SYSTKMS projects: Rice grid Jeeps, 4WD's. Your area. Toll free (8(H)) While vijjons of Shiner Bock danced through their heads; seeks talented students to help develop and 218-9000 ext. A-8269 for current listings And I laughed when I saw him, and spilled my egg nog. enhance "real world" corporate systems • And J in my boxers, and Mark in his vests, Typical projects include working with comr FORD Probe — black, tan interior, A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head o ** : pany networks (Ethernet. TCP/IP), server five-speed, am-fmcassette, runs well, great Had just settlcd"dowfl*»o*sleep off our tests, - V : ''V;H '' - ,'fii configuration (NT). Web site development. • CUr for college or high school student. $2500 Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. video-conferencing^and applications de- (contactoncampusat(713)527-4801.ext. •». 3 |• •• ' ; vclopmcnt. Part-time, from $l5/hour. de- 4992 or at home (281) 242-9758) pending on qualifications. Reply to: When the Acabowl rang with a clap and a clatter, His eyes, how they twinkled; his dimples how ruddy! operations.manuxerQ Hyper con. com. 1990 Volvo 240 DL Five speed Std. A/C; cassette; elcc. windows; moonroof; service I sprang from my bed to sec what was the matter. His cheeks were quite dirty; his nose was all muddy SWIMMING POOL maintenance person records; excellent condition. $7900. Kate Away to the window I flew like a Hash, His mouth full of teeth seemed terribly langy, needed for Central, west and Southwest (713)752-8620 Houston. Must have truck with insurance. Tore open the blinds and searched for the crash. And his muscular frame, it feared no ubangee $11 an hour. Call Ultima Pool Service(713) 825-4660. HOUSING ft • MEMORIAL PARK: I BR$5l5,Ig. I BR But he had a kind face and a round little belly TUTORING OPPORTUNITY. Psych, ma- w/d $610, 2-2 $780. 2-2.5 TH .wdc $1060, When what to my wondering eyes should appear jors to use behav. mod. therapy to work world class gym, garage parking. But a miniature sleigh and eight owls drinking beer That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly with autistic child. Great learning opp. Flex, Braeswood, inside loop 2 TH $585 I BR hrs. Call (713) 627-5461 (W) (713) 271- $495. Astrodome — Special 2-2 wd. tennis. With a fat, porcine driver, so amazingly big, A sack filled with Bock he had flung on his back 9522 (H). Sarah Mohammed. $750. Executive Rentals (713) 914-0499. I knew in a moment it must be the Pig. And he looked like a senior, replete with six pack P/T MARKETING position. TransEnergy ONE ROOM garage apartment in exchange Management, Inc. is looking for an outgo- for seven hours house/yard work/week He spoke not a word, bur went straight to his work, ing individual for a part-time position in the (713) 527-9474. Mktg. Dept. Make professional cold calls; More silent than eagles, his owls they came, And filled all the fridges; then turned with a ji rk follow-up calls. Prepare marketing pack- ROOMMATE WANTED. Female, non- ets; enter data into database. Assist with smoker, older or grad student looking for a And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: various other campaigns/tasks. Require- clean, quiet apartment close to campus. ments: 60+ credit hrs , Bus. Major with "Now, Sammy! Now, George! Now Bill and the rest of ya, He sprang to his sleigh, gave an oitik to his team, Call Marjt and leave a message. (713) 740- interest in MktgiComm ; excellent writ- 7538. ten/oral skills a must; computer knowledge On Rupp! On, Malcolm! On Snickers, et cetera! — And away they all flew o'er the tennis court wing. preferred: Microsoft Office, available to But I heard him exclaim, "Hanszen Sucks!" at least twice, work I :(X)-5:00 p.m., M-F, approx. 20 hrs./ WANTED TO BUY On beyond Hanszen, and straight on to Wiess, wk. Qualified applicants should-fax resume Forget about Baker, Brown, Jones, and Will Rice!" "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a IT A\1 WIESS!" to: TiansEnergy Management. Attn.. Anne WANTED: STEREO/McIntosh. Altec, Palmer, Fax: (713) 693-2101, EOF. Imme- Dyna, Ev.Jbl, Ar.Marantz, Klipsch. Bozak, diate opening. Jensen, Fisher, Linn. Thorens, Dual, ----- )f>t Fowler, WinJ '9:i Tarmoy. Crown, Kreli, Levinson, Smc. Tubes + 33 LP records. (713) 728-4343. SMALL COMPANY specializing in news letter publication needs office assistant Very flexible hours. Approximately 6-10 MISCELLANEOUS hours per week. Duties include proofread- ing. computer skills, (knowledge ol FREECASH grants! College. Scholarships. Pagemaker helpful), answering phones, I'il- Business. Medical bills Never repay Toll ing, etc, Must be dependable, cheerful, fo- Free (800) 218-9000. ext. <5-8269. cused l ax inquiries/resume to (713) 62Z- 1 IfSft Wcstheimcr/WcstayafTlocation. hiipU/membt'i SMol.com/countnuid Count Madness Number Puzzles Great teacher's PART-TIME office clerks needed for dow n gift includes publishing rights lor all their town law fjrm. Duties will include index- classes for life $15. Personal set ages eight ing and tabbing documents, organization of and up S5 6-118 Pt. Pleasant, Hixson, TN v r files and filing Need computer skills — .*7343 '~ '.•» -V will be using WordPerfect 5.2* on Win- ACT NOW1 Call Leisure Tours for spring dows 95 —will tiiun 01.1 our system, $8/. ' f, hour plus paid parking. 20-25 hours per ftreak packages to South Padre; Cancun. m week — will work around your school Jamaica and Florida Reps needed Travel •f ree and earn commissions. (iroup discounts schedule. Mail or lax resume to Brown. 5,-K Parker & Leahy. L I. P.. 1200 Smith, Suite lor six or more people. (8(X)| 838-8203 or WiOO, Houston, Texas 77002 * Attn; Keith hup. /Arii- wJeisuretours. com ^ Ann Peterson fax 1713| (.<54- 1X71. — Boom, l or mil. lil 523-7770 ' ,7 8 Rice Student Specials iA' J.' valid with coupon only Valid at participating vtorcis only f'ncaa may vary Customer pay* sain* tax who. BBQ OR Hot. Ranch or { Blue Cheese dipping sauce I available upon request. £ MB » Iff MS •''*!•P \ " " t Mtf ffl GET A 10 PIECE ORDER OF BUFFALO WINGS i « IK FOR JUST $3,99 WHEN YOU ORDER ANY PIZZA/ 3IJ| S ouuuod ® rte t/l 00 0 valid *ith coupon only Valid at participating only ' L AS1 ML F 1 I N G O f T H E S I M I. S 1 F R R|CE SPECIAL $7.38 i FONK.HI , FRIDAY, DEC FMBER 5 7 P.M. SlWALl 301 ONE LARGE ONE TOPPING PIZZA & 2 DRINKS | O errid « ouiutoq a ani** u«ir) 00 OtfSu Open 'til 2 a.m. seven days a week! *•4' ii # Mil t«M IIIVM ••m 1 i.'t4 • . ... tube so the electrons could move Querido Santnraa , .* around inside and make an image." Dr. ("hae, ECON 211, on the You know how good we've been this year. Wc made no mention of certain invention <>l television "When you tango, the energy goes up, "I'm a whore —- just nc Rice personalities (past and preser#), wc omitted the naughty Rally limericks, and you start kitting each other. it:." ! ' 1 and we even made'fun of Daiyl Shorter, just like you asked. What else could we "So,then this Chinese magician comes That's what electrons do." — Eric Noire, Jones junior and have done? out of the cell after a year and every- Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530, misclass freak Wc were just wonderingifmaybe you'd bring us some gobies this year and one he met could see the chicken." But protons do the lambada the Eric is also the December covergirl of not put stinky cheese and Necco wafers in our stockings'likc last time. No, wc ~ Dr. Chae, still on the wonders of forbidden dance of love. Crack Whore magazine. won't make outrageous demands this rime; we wouldn't even think of asking for television. Carrie C. in red ribbons or a gift certificate for body piercings. "It's like saying the dog and bear "1 could've gone longer, too. I'm All we want is peace. And love. And roommates who don't stagger in drunk "That I arnsworth, he was such a resemble the cat's legs." amazing." every night at 2 a.m And more dead baby jokes, because those arc always funny. vibrating guy " — Di. Scuseria, CHEM 530. — Eric Nolte. We want *|South Park" episodes that aren't reruns. We want FScE to go around —, Dr Chae, on the inventor of puttinglittle antlers on the squirrels. We want them to bring back red and green television, Philo T. Farnsworth. "I believe in five-eighths. Sixteen is T haven't even begun to violate you." crazy corn for the pigeons. good, 18 is OK. But 43? No way 1 ~~ Linda Fernandez-Lopez. Jones We would also like for Chumbawumba to fall off the face of the earth. Wc 1 cannot confirm the penetration," don't: believe lit 431" # sophomore. would like to lose our virginity with a Gallagher brother singing in the -r Brown fresh rrian. t Dr. Scusefia, CHEM 530. background. Wc would like to see Mrs. Claus get a promotion from hays frau "Actually, it has been a good day, but to vice president of your elf sweatshop operation. Temkin: "He's moved across the street "These physicists, huh? 'We'll fool not just because I've been feeling my We would like the world to sing, not in perfect harmony, but in harmony (to the other paper], of course." around with these point things all the pants." with us. It would also be nice if you could arrange it so that we graduate Student: "He's dead."" time"' — Jones junior. maybe give Malcolm (not the one from the 1970 poem!) an extra treat for us. Temkin: "Oh, yeah That's, what I — Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530. Wc warn more free beer, without having to prostitute ourselves to get it. We meant." "You might get me on the floor, but would like to have one sober Monday night. Wc would like you to break all the Dr. Temkin, PHIL 10L referring "If it's 500 angstrom exchange - it's I'd take you with me, and you virtual electronic pets before you deliver them — especially if they're going to to deceased columnist Mike Royko, dead, it's been dead for a long time. wouldn't like where you were when females over the age ot twelve. It's dead by seven or eight decimals." you got there." We don't ask for much, Mr. Claus. Just see what you can do. We've been "I'm bored. This sucks, 1 hate this. — Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530. — Jones sophomore, pretty good, honest! No one had to mail-our own backpages home to our I'm going to bed " Because you forgot to vacuum? parents in an effort to shame us and our family name. Please, just no more stinky John Farmer, WRC freshman. "The square of minus a dog is the cheese. same thing as a dog squared." "Don't put nothin' down your pants xoxoxoxoxo, "Good, a hurricane hit Mexico. Shoot! --r Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530. until 1 leave," • - T 6c P It was last week. Oh well, close — Jones junior. enough." "You didn't have to leave a mark!" WRC freshman trying to find a — Wiess senior. "Yeah, that's what 1 want. I wanna be a guy, and 1 wanna fake an orgasm." P.S. Please buy me sexy nighties from Victoria's Secret, and a new coeditor who newspaper article for her Spanish "Who the fuck is George Fotinos?" — Jones junior. isn't so moody OR IT'S ALL OVER NOW. BABY BLUE! class. — Gepetto. Terry Cartter ;Qur te parte la mala raya! Do you want tof Or do you HAVE to? Mick Jagger. "Sorry. It was hot while I was doing "No ... NO! Not against the boobs!" my math homework, so 1 took off my "I was visualizing digestion." — Jones junior P.P.S To all my professors, please bring me the A's for which 1 have slaved so pants." —- Hanszen freshman understanding many hours OR 1 WILL TAKE CLASSES WITH YOU AGAIN NEXT Female WRC freshman. how to avoid a hangover by Jones Fast Woman: "Stop trying to SEMESTER AND DRIVE YOU OVER THE EDGE OF INSANITY. Eh at !>' okay, that > the only way we can cotnsutning protein in mass quantities French-kiss my roommate!" Packy "Latrell" Saunders work on the backpage. beforehand. Jones Hard(up) Man: "I just stuck my Everybody knows you don t need to finger in her ear." "Since when did kung fu work against drink to have fun". Hard drugs. vampires? This isn't realistic." "Blindfold yourself and reach for the — Matt Frost, WRC freshman. "I've got the female reproductive ass." system and the male reproductive — A helpful Wiess freshman on how- "Hliar is equal to one today because system, and 1 keep getting them mixed to play Pin the Tail on the Donkey. it's raining, li wa.s raining yesterday? up." We don t recommend this as a way to B. Nash (Captain) Well it was the wrong kind of rain." — Dr. Gustin, BIOS 201. pick up people at parties, though. Mary Specht (Captain) Dr. Senseria, CHEM 530, Jamie l ee Curtis had the same problem. "I'm an S/F. 1 wear NewBalance with Rajul Shah Was it purple rain? Ask the professor formerly known as Dr Scuseria "Thinking statically for a dynamics everything." Jake Rosenberg problem ... that would be a fatal — Wiess freshman. Pistol Pete 'Ten, five, three, one, dial's 16. mistake." Dr, Scuseria, CHEM 530. — Dr. C.C. Wang, to his doomed "Where's the Booty Man?" Jimmy Drov MECH 21 1 class. — Dr. Nirenberg, HIST 203. Rachel Bren "T his is my perversion." We think you can find him teaching — Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530 "A good example is prostitution, It's MECH 211. Ask for C. C [ here .ire lots til w.ivs m make your parents proud in your first illegal, but both parties benefit." "It's sort ot a scary monster thai we — Dr, Flores, ECON 21 k "What if there are additional qualities M ineste! ai Rice. < >cumg a 4.(1 is one. Earning your way onto the don't talk about, but it's there." to [smoking]? Maybe you're more l'ul> Rookie All-Star l earn is another. — Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530. "We are outside the fence, so we can likely to score. I ell your friends, tell your patents and-tell your prof's, i hey will concerning Dirat 's dely function. see the sign says No Penetration.' Dr. Soligo, ECON 43H. all be proud of the long, hard hours you put in assuring your spot. We think the Chinese magician's Oops, I mean 'No I respassing." "I have a wide repertoire of 'fucks'. —- Dr. Nalley, HART 330, on the And hev, one day, vou might join the ranks of former Pub Rookie chicken is scarier. —~ Spike Gildea, LING 200. opening shot of Citizen Kane And a slim repertoire of misclass. All Stars like tilth vear senior Matt Bayazitoglu, power-drinker Jeff "This doesn't determine the outcome, No penetration? One word: Probe. "Scooter" Tobin or even WRC expatriate Lang luqua. m the same way that I'm going to flip "Don't send any more misclass. In addition to your public recognition, your master will likely pull a coin which I don't have. Quantum "You'd know her a little better if you Nothing is funny.Wc quit." spent more time in your pants." Los BPEs 1997. vou aside and give you All-Star attention asking you questions like: mechanics is like that." — Dr. Scuseria, CHEM 530. — Sid sophomore. Boom. Eor real. I lev, are you drunk?'' or "How are those grades?" or "What arJ you parents' first names and how can 1 reach them?" Also, starting this "Imagine myself as a measuring "Headaches! Headaches are no good. year, il you get into a disciplinary "situation," just show this list to device. I have these arms — lots of I'd save you all the headaches, if I CLASSIFIED arms." could." Dean Bass and you'll be let off with a warning. This list also works as - Dr Scuseria, CHEM 530 — Temkin Hears a Hoo, PHIL 306. AD RATES a coupon worth $250 off any fines you might incur! ( .ongratulations, kids. Keep up the^good work. 1—35 words: $10 36—70 words: • $20 I'd i tor's note These are good kids So to (til the musters, RAt, profs, coaches and Sff 6K/TAM F*OM Tki ft/SFOE WITH 71—105 words: $30 parent', out there who might he seething with judgement stop It s the holidays Payment, in the form of and time to contemplate the birth of (.hrist not berate freshmen So uncork a The WORK fu Burnt*/ PROGRAM bottle and relax <>o to Valhalla. 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